Chapter 63: Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack 5

I'm back with another parody, based on Mermaidman & Barnacleboy 5

The new adventures of Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack! At a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.

"Will you hurry up?" One customer yelled.

A call that would normally be answered by Royal Woods' semi retired champions. If they weren't the ones causing the problem.

The two elderly heroes are seen at the front of the line at Lynn's Table as Ace is having trouble deciding what to order.

"Let's see...I'll have a...no. I'll have a uh, uh,...no. Hmm.."

"Sir, will you please order something?" Lori said in annoyance. "You're holding up the line."

Lori and the other Loud siblings were helping their dad in his restaurant. Lincoln got an idea.

"Psst! Ace Savvy, get a Lynn-sagna."

"I've made my decision!" Ace declared.

The crowd of customers cheered.

"One Lynn-sagna for me and a Mini Lynn-sagna for the boy!"

"Now wait just a darn minute." Jack complained.

The crowd groaned in annoyance.

"I don't want a mini Lynn-sagna. I want an adult sized Lynn-sagna."

"That Lynn-sagna is too big for you." Ace said. "You'll never finish it."

"Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child!"

"The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach." Lynn Sr. laughed, along with the sisters.

"And that's another thing! I'm not a boy! I'm so old I've got liver spots on my liver spots."

"One Mini Lynn-sagna." Lori held out a small dish. "And your bib and high chair."

The Louds laughed, except for Lincoln.

"I'm sixty eight years old and I want a regular Lynn-sagna!"

"Your mini is getting cold." Ace Savvy said. "Shall I feed you?"

"Feed this, old man!" One Eyed Jack slapped the dish out of Ace's hand.

"Ooooooooooh." The Louds said.

"I'm fed up with being your sidekick." Jack ranted. "From now on, I wanna be treated like a man! And I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!"

"I respect you, man." Lincoln said.

"I'm a boy! I mean..a man, I-oh, forget you people."

Jack glared at Ace. "I say if you're not going to give me respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil!"

"Evil?!" The Louds exclaimed. Ace just stood there smiling. Lynn Sr. slapped him.

"Evil!" Ace exclaimed.

"I'm crossing over to the dark side!" Jack pointed to a dark part of the restaurant.

"Whoops. Looks like I forgot to pay for lighting the whole store." Lynn Sr. said.

Then an evil looking van drove out of the dark side. The license plate read "Royal Woods-Mean 2 U." The door opened to reveal two familiar villains, Talkin' Trash Eater and Miss Red Diamond.

"Did someone say evil?" TTE said.

"Oh my gosh!" Lincoln exclaimed. "It's Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack's arch enemies, Miss Red Diamond and the Talkin Trash Eater!"

One Eyed Jack entered the vehicle.

"Nighty night ya old goat." Jack said to Ace. The window closed and the vehicle drove off.

"Nighty night." Ace waved. He looked at Lori. "Will you tuck me in?"

Lori gave him a deadpan stare. Then the news reporter was seen and heard on TV.

"We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this special news break. Red Diamond-"

Red Diamond is shown blowing up a house with her powers.

"Talkin' Trash Eater-"

The Trash Eater is shown polluting a public pool with his trash.

"and now playing for the dark side, the young boy, One Eyed Jack-"

"I'm a man!"

"-have been committing a series of crimes throughout Royal Woods!"

One Eyed Jack is now wearing a dark cape and a shirt with a skull on it. The trio is seen doing a prank. They sneak up on an old man who is about to sit down on a bench. Jack puts a whoopie cushion on the bench and the man sits on it, causing a fart sound. The trio laugh and ran away.

"I'll get you crazy kids!" The old man yelled, pointing his cane at them.

The news reporter continued. "These three have named their new alliance, Every Villain Is Licorice. Otherwise known as EVIL. What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking you all these questions? Ace Savvy, where are you?"

Ace Savvy stood there with his mouth open. Lynn Sr. slapped him again.

"I'm right here! Don't worry good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the evil! Nothing!"

The old hero runs outside. He stops as he sees an ice cream truck. "Ice cream? I love ice cream."

He goes over to the truck to order. "A double scoop of almond banana with prune sprinkles."

He was handed the ice cream but there was a lit candle on it, which Ace didn't seem to notice. He ate the ice cream. His face turned red and he breathed fire.

"Boy, the prunes are spicier than usual."

One Eyed Jack, Miss Red Diamond, and Talkin Trash Eater are the ones seen in the truck.

"You might as well give up, Ace Savvy." Jack said. "There's three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance."

The trio drive off. The Loud siblings witnessed this and ran over to the elderly superhero.

"Ace Savvy, are you ok?" Lincoln asked. "How are you going to defeat all three of those guys by yourself?"

"You're right. I give up."

"You can't give up. What if we help you?"

"No, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?"

"Ok!"

"So who wants to save the world?"

"We do!" The Louds said in unison.

"I mean, no world means no beauty pageants." Lola said.

"Ace, I've got the perfect idea for buttkicking superheroes." Lincoln said. "They're from an Ace Savvy comic I wrote."

"Then you tell me all about it on our way to my secret lair."

"So these female superheroes are based on your sisters?" Ace Savvy questioned.

"Yep." Lincoln said. "And we'll need superhero costumes for the job."

Ace Savvy and the Loud siblings were now in Ace Savvy's lair.

"Oh, leave that to the family fashion designer." Leni said, pointing to herself.

"Great Leni."

"Will these costumes involve colored undies on the outside?" Ace asked.

"Definitely not." Lori said.

After Leni finishes making the costumes, we cut to an introduction of the Full House Gang. (from the Pulp Friction episode)

The High Card: oldest super sibling

The Eleven Of Hearts: superhero fashionista

The Night Club: rockstar superhero

The Joker: comedic superhero

The Strong Suit: athletic superhero

The Eight of Spades: spooky superhero

The Royal Flush: tomboy super twin

The Queen of Diamonds: girly super twin

The Card Counter: genius superhero

The Deuce: the youngest super sibling

and lastly, Ace Savvy Jr: the younger Ace

Together, they are the Full House Gang, dealing out justice!

Now we cut to the superheroes sitting at a table. Ace Savvy Sr. is ordering lunch.

"So it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives."

Then a live action man appeared on the big screen. "Full House Gang, we need your help."

"Holy cowlick!" Ace Savvy Jr. exclaimed. "It's the chief!"

"Thanks for the introduction Ace Savvy Jr, but we all know who I am. More to the point, we've got news on the whereabouts of evil."

"The whos-a-bouts of what?" The Queen Of Hearts said.

"You just tell us where they are, chief." The Night Club said. "We'll send those punks off to jail faster than a police officer."

"Our sources last saw evil harassing teenagers at Make Out Point." The chief confirmed. "You know, Make Out Point."

The chief pretends to make out with someone. "Woo hoo hoo!"

"Jumping Jacks, Ace Savvy!" Ace Savvy Jr. exclaimed. "Make Out Point!"

"Those fiends!" Ace Savvy Sr. said outraged. "Attacking hormonally stressed out children!"

"Ah, Make Out Point." The High Card said pleasantly. "I literally remember the first time my boyfriend took me there. Good times, good times."

"To Make Out Point!" Ace Savvy ordered. He fell backwards. "Away!"

"Wait, does this mean we're not getting pizza?" Lynn questioned.

At Make Out Point, the trio of villains were harassing two teens in a car, Joey and Becky.

"Leave us alone!" Becky whined.

"Please stop!" Joey begged.

"Joey and Becky sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Ooh, shine the flashlight at that car Red Diamond." Talkin Trash Eater said, pointing at another direction.

"With pleasure!" Red Diamond shines her flashlight at another car. There was a boy making out with a pillow.

"Hey man, that's not cool."

The trio laughed.

"Leave those young lovers alone!" The trio turned around to see Ace Savvy.

"Well, if it isn't Old Man Savvy." Red Diamond mocked. "You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down."

"You fiends can't win. You're outnumbered."

"You white haired fool! There's three of us and only one of you."

Then Ace Savvy Jr. appeared. "Make that two!"

The villains were surprised.

"Guys, meet Ace Savvy Jr." Ace Savvy Sr. introduced.

The High Card came over. "Three!"

"Meet the High Card."

The Eleven Of Hearts swung over with her scarf. "Four!"

"Meet the Eleven Of Hearts."

The Night Club rode over on a motorcycle. "Five!"

"The Night Club."

A jack in the box appeared and The Joker jumped out. "Six!"

"The Joker."

Strong Suit ran over with her super speedy shoes. "Seven!"

"The Strong Suit."

The Eight Of Spades became visible, as her hooded cape had the ability to make her invisible and visible. "Eight."

"The Eight Of Spades."

The Royal Flush dug her way over from underground. "Nine!"

"The Royal Flush."

The Queen Of Diamonds cartwheeled over. "Ten!"

"The Queen Of Diamonds!"

Lastly, Card Counter flew over with a jetpack as she carried The Deuce in her arms. "Eleven and twelve."

"The Card Counter and The Deuce!" Ace Savvy finished. "And me makes twenty...I think."

"Uh oh." Red Diamond said worried.

"I don't feel good about this." Trash Eater said.

"Oh, there goes our toy deal." Jack said.

"Full House Gang, attack!" Ace Savvy commanded.

"Oh no! Please! Have mercy!" One Eyed Jack begged.

The Royal Flush opened up a cage with her wrench. Inside, there was cobra snake. "Go get em boy!"

But the cobra went for Strong Suit instead, biting her head. Strong Suit freaked out and ran around in a circle. "Aaaaah! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"I'll save you Strong Suit!" The Queen Of Hearts said. She used her scarf to try and stop Strong Suit, but she ends up getting pulled in circles due to Strong Suit's super speed. She flies out of the grip and lands on the ground. Her outstretched scarf unravel back at her, tying her to the ground. The Joker pulls out a gag boxing glove. "Ok bad guys, here comes the punchline!" (laughs)

The Joker tried to use the boxing glove on them, but it didn't seem to be working. "Ugh, this thing must be broke-"

Pow!

The Joker was hit in the face by her own glove, knocking her out. The villains looked at each other in confusion.

"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Strong Suit ran over Ace Savvy Jr. and The High Card as the cobra was still on her.

"Time to perform the bad guy shuffle!" The Night Club had her guitar ready and a huge speaker was behind her. But Strong Suit ran into the speaker and was knocked out. Her super strength caused the speaker to fall forward and crush The Night Club before The Night Club could get out of the way. Royal Flush was able to capture the slithering cobra with a rope.

"Bad boy!" She scolded. "You're supposed to get the bad guys!"

"Forget the snake!" Queen Of Diamonds said. "Help me deal with these bad guys!"

"I'll assist too!" Ace Savvy said. He shot cards out of his hand to form the Raging WhirlCard tornado, but the twin superheroes got sucked into it. "Oops. I can't really control this thing at my old age."

The Deuce And Card Counter were about to attack with diaper bombs and a middle launcher but they also got swept into the tornado. The Night Of Spades hid behind a rock to avoid it.

"Well, I guess it's up to me." She turned invisible and walked off. "I'll just sneak over unseen and attack them by surprise."

Suddenly, she was hit by a car. She flew through a sign and fell off the cliff screaming, then landed on the ground. The WhirlCard tornado stopped and the four younger heroes fell to the ground. The three villains saw all the superheroes were defeated and Ace Savvy just fell backwards.

"We did it. We won." One Eyed Jack said. "This day belongs to evil!"

He laughs evilly as she approaches Ace Savvy. "You've lost Ace Savvy, and the Superhero Supervillian rulebook says that you have to give into my demands."

"Ok." Ace accepted. "What do you want?"

"World domination!" Red Diamond said. "Tell him we want world domination!"

"And make him eat mud!" Talkin Trash Eater said, which made Red Diamond give him a strange look.

"In addition to the domination thing..."

"Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I wanna be called a man. And number three-"

"Come on, world domination." Red Diamond said.

"I want an adult sized Lynn-sagna."

"Did you hear say anything about eating mud?" Trash Eater said to Red Diamond.

"Need a hand, Superpal?" One Eyed Jack offered his hand to Ace Savvy, who smiled tearfully. Jack tearfully smiled back. Ace took his hand.

Friend!

Jack helped his old friend up.

"Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle! Now let's go get you that Lynn-sagna."

The two elderly heroes walk away. Red Diamond was unmoved by the touching scene.

"Was that it? That was sickening."

"Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Sewerland." Trash Eater mentioned. "Their toilet drinks were to die for!"

"Oh, good grief. Shut up."

At Lynn's Table, Ace Savvy and Jack were sitting at a table. Jack was eating his meal.

"How's that adult sized Lynn-sagna treating you, man?"

"Actually, it's pretty big. I don't think I can finish it."

Ace started laughing. Jack glared at him but began laughing as well. Then the Loud siblings came over laughing as they were injured and covered in casts and bandages. Luna was in a wheelchair and Lucy had crutches. The teen seen at Make Out Point with his pillow was laughing. Red Diamond and Talkin Trash Eater were laughing, even though they were in jail. The chief was seen making out with himself again. He turned around and laughed too.