Hey all! Welcome to Chapter 2! So that you don't get confused, this is the PROLOGUE. Now within this prologue, stay with me, there will be many flashbacks. Join me for the ride :P
What Happened In The Beginning
"Sasuke gets out today, you know."
"I know."
"You're the first person he's going to look for once he gets released."
"I know."
"Actually, he'll probably be expecting you to be waiting at the gates—"
"Ino, I know." Sakura groaned before dropping back down on her bed. "But I'm not going."
"But—"
"He'll just have to find me when he finds me. And I pray it's not before Naruto's wedding tomorrow night."
"What are you going to do, hide?"
"That's the plan,"
"But he knows all of your hiding spots. He knows you, Sakura." She smirked.
"That's why I thought of Plan B." Ino rolled her eyes.
"Running away from your problems is their thing, not yours, Forehead." Sakura frowned.
"Well, when you're with someone long enough…" She sighed. "Look. In about an hour, I'm going to be meeting Kakashi. Naruto asked us to escort the food vendors from Yugawara. It's about a half-day's travel. By the time we get back, we'll be in full wedding preparation swing and I won't even have time to talk to him until after." Ino narrowed her eyes.
"Your Plan B… is to disappear with the man you're having a fling with?!" Sakura rolled her eyes in response.
"We're not disappearing, Pig. We're running a very important errand for my best friend's wedding." She pointed out. "And besides, we're not having a fling. It was a drunken kiss, that's all." And she'd never reveal to Ino how much more it actually was. Ino sighed.
"All I'm saying is, you know how Sasuke's going to react whenever he finds out about you two. No matter how minuscule it may be." The woman grumbled. "Oh God, his first day out of rehab the Uchiha is going to relapse."
"We broke up long before he made the decision to go to rehab." Ino leaned closer.
"You can't honestly believe that you're not the reason he decided to go? To get clean for you so he can resume his hopes and dreams of restoring his Clan? With you?" They both thought back to the day Sasuke actually found out Sakura wanted nothing to do with repopulating the Uchihas.
...
The door flung open with a bang and Ino turned away in shock from the supplies she was organizing.
"If it isn't my favorite friend." Sasuke said with a smile as he propped himself up on the examination table.
"We're not friends, Uchiha." He shrugged.
"Fine. My lover's favorite friend." She rolled her eyes.
"What do you want? Where's Sakura?" He pulled a metal spoon and a lighter from his pocket.
"She's busy. I figured I could do our examination alone today."
"That beats the purpose—Uchiha, you cannot shoot up in here!" Sasuke paused, his teeth mid-tear on the small plastic big positioned between his lips. He pulled it from his mouth and held it out.
"It's clean, I promise. Do you want to test it?" She placed an exasperated hand on her forehead.
"That's not the point." She said, annoyance not hidden in her voice. "This is a hospital, and that is a drug." He furrowed his eyebrows.
"This is the perfect place to do it then. Versus a dark alley, anyway."
"It's an illegal drug, Uchiha. Put it away before I call your probation officer." He rolled his eyes, producing a cigarette and placing it between his lips. With a flick of his fingers, a small flame erupted and he lighted it.
"Fine." She shook her head.
"That's prohibited as well. But whatever you want, the faster I can get you out of here." He inhaled deeply and he exhaled, filling the small examination room with smoke.
"I want to get checked."
"You and Sakura always get checked together." He shook his head.
"I know, I get that but—" He took another drag of the cigarette before exhaling, followed by a deep sigh. "Ino, something has to be wrong with me. Whenever we come here, all of Sakura's test come back solid. But she's still not pregnant," He whispered. "And it's not like we don't try. I fuck her more than often and my loads are—"
"Sasuke, cut to the chase." He sighed again.
"Ino, I have to be the problem. Because why isn't she getting pregnant?" The woman looked away. He sighed again before standing, crushing the cigarette on the examination table and flicking it in the trash can. "That was answer enough for me." He said, his tone of voice changing as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to leave.
"W-what?" She stammered. He looked back over his shoulder.
"I just needed to confirm. The lips may lie but mannerisms don't. You and Sakura are keeping something from me." He started. "My semen count is more than fine and there's nothing wrong with Sakura. She sets these examinations up with you, with us together, so you can keep her secret." Ino's eyes widened. "Sakura's not pregnant because she doesn't want to be pregnant. And I'm the last to find out." He finished before shutting the door softly. Ino leaned back against the wall. Sasuke that manipulative bastard.
Sakura was going to kill her.
...
"So when were you going to tell me, Sakura?" She placed a quick kiss on his lips before pulling on her sandals and dropping her bag by the door. She plopped on the couch and loosened her hair from the ponytail atop her head.
"Tell you what?" She said as she yawned, stretching her arms above her head. "I am beat."
"Tell me that you didn't want to get pregnant." She froze. "I saw Ino today. Alone." She pursed her lips as she looked down.
"Sasuke…"
"So when were you going to tell me? How long did you think you could keep up this ruse? Or better yet, why didn't you tell me?" She ran a hand through her hair before sighing.
"It's not that simple," She whispered. He moved closer and sat next to her on the couch.
"So make it easier for me to understand. Please," He pleaded with her as he searched her eyes. This is what she was avoiding.
"Sasuke, we're not married yet—"
"That's easy. Marry me." She shook her head.
"It's not that easy, it's—" She sighed again, placing her palms on her face. "Sasuke, the drugs." His eyes widened for a second before his face became expressionless. He looked away.
"Sakura, you know I need them."
"But you don't! How could I raise a child around someone so out of touch with reality and—"
"Sane? How could you raise a child with someone sane? Because you know how it will be when I'm off the drugs." He scoffed. "Am I the only one who hasn't forgotten? I mean it is my burden to bear. But am I the only one who can't continue on with life as if my past has been washed clear? As if the sins of my family didn't cause them to be eliminated by my brother? My brother, a pawn for this Village which I tried to destroy? One of the most gifted Shinobi that I've seen, to just die from a random disease?" He stood and faced away from her. "How about trying to kill my best friend? The only one who could understand the pain that I've been through? Or trying to kill you, the love of my life? Has everyone forgotten but me?" She looked up at him, sympathy shining through her eyes. "I live with that pain every day, Sakura. The drugs are the only things that allow me to cope with this sad existence we call life."
"But you haven't tried—"
"I have tried!" He yelled. "I have."
"And how do you even pass the drug tests? It's so dangerous trying to perform your duty incapacitated…" She trailed off. "Naruto? He enables you?!"
"What don't you get? He's the only one who understands! You don't seem to—"
"Don't." She warned. "Do not go there. You know that I do. I lay with you every night comforting you from devastating nightmares."
"And when do I have those nightmares Sakura? When I'm sober."
"There has to be something else we can do." There was tension filling the room as silence engulfed them.
"Do you not love me enough, Sakura?" He whispered.
"What?" She breathed.
"Do you not love me enough? Is your love not strong enough to stand by me through this?" She bit her lip.
"No, Sasuke." He visibly tensed. "No, I have more than enough love for you. I have loved you through everything. I have loved you despite everything." He turned to face her and she watched as his emotions spread across his features.
"Then why."
"Because the love we share should not be endured by an innocent child." She finished softly as a small tear trailed her cheek. She saw the pain flash across his eyes before they were cold again.
"So I guess we're at a standstill."
"I guess we are." He bent slowly to her torn figure on the couch before placing a kiss on her forehead. In another movement he was at the door. He paused, taking one last look at her. Before she knew it, he disappeared, the door shutting behind him.
...
Both women huffed in remembrance. It was two more months after their split that Sasuke checked himself into rehabilitation. The first couple of months were brutal. He refused visitors and even when Sakura forced her way through, he spouted vile and disgusting things at her. She was a medic. She knew what withdrawal did to the body. But still…
She continued to check on his progress. His hallucinations and psyche episodes had to be the worst she'd seen. He'd self-medicated with drugs for so long being off them made him visibly sick. He stopped eating, drinking, the troubled man lost almost 30 pounds. He was a shell of the boy that returned back to them, hoping to make amends.
It got so bad, Sakura herself wondered if he should've just stayed on them.
But then it broke. He started eating again and he even started training again. Once he started allowing her to see him, she visited every day. He had decided to make a change, and whether it was for her or for himself, she was going to support him through it. Like she always did. But then something changed. Something in her changed.
Since they were kids, she always stuck by Sasuke. They all did. From his torn struggles as a child, to his defection, the years he was a criminal and an enemy of the Leaf, and even when he returned, forced to be on House Arrest. She stood beside him. Because she was supposed to. But what about Sakura?
It was as if she woke up one day and something in her changed. Once again, despite everything, she put her wants and her needs to the side and did whatever she could to make sure that Sasuke felt loved. His situation required so much patience, so much mental fortitude…She hadn't noticed the toll it took on her, too. Being with him. She didn't want to go and see Sasuke anymore. So, the visits trailed off. She went from visiting him every day, to every couple of days, to once a week. And then no longer. Life had to continue for her, too. 'I have to go back on the mission roster.' She told him. Along with more lies about longer hours at the Hospital. But in reality, she just couldn't face him anymore. And that's when things picked up again with Kakashi.
She sighed and raised herself from the bed.
"I have to go, Ino. We have to get on the road soon if we want to be back in time." Ino stood as well, and as Sakura moved to leave, she grabbed her hands in hers.
"Don't misunderstand me, Sakura. If anyone is in your corner, it's me." Ino gave her a small smile. "I support whatever you want to do, even if it is with your former Sensei." She finished with a wink. Sakura smack her shoulder playfully. "We just know how Sasuke gets and…" She trailed off. Sakura nodded in understanding.
"I know. And I know I'm not exactly helping the situation, either. I'm just doing the best I can." Ino kissed her on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura!" She called as the woman exited their house.
Yes, tomorrow. D-day.
They walked in comfortable silence. Sakura was daydreaming, gazing at the bright summer sky through the foliage with her hands clasped behind her back. Kakashi walked beside her, his face in a book per usual. Then she heard him clear his throat.
"You know, Sasuke gets out today." He stated as she rolled her eyes, snatched from her careless thoughts.
"Yes, that seems to be the talk of the day today." She hummed.
"And you chose to run off with your star-crossed lover versus meeting him when he's released?" She used her shoulder to nudge him.
"It's not like he was in jail, Kakashi." She grumbled.
"But still." She frowned. She left with Kakashi to get away from the daunting feeling of her responsibilities. She was silent for a moment as they continued to walk.
"You don't think it would be weird talking about this with you?" He shrugged.
"We talk about everything else. Humor me." She exhaled.
"I don't know what was tougher. Watching him abuse drugs or watching him go through rehabilitation." She started softly. "And I know what I feel can't compare to what he's endured. To what he's enduring. I just…" He shut his book and stuffed it in his pocket.
"You're allowed to have feelings too, Sakura." She pursed her lips.
"I know, I know." She sighed. "You've heard the details of how me and Sasuke broke up."
"That incident might have floated through the Village streets." He started sarcastically. "It doesn't hurt to get the truth from the source though." She exhaled softly through her nostrils.
"Sasuke found out…he found out I was on birth control." She paused. "I was on birth control because—"
"I got you." Kakashi interrupted, knowing it was hard for her to talk about.
"I stopped visiting him, you know." He turned and looked at her. "At first, seeing him go through rehabilitation was hard, but I…I couldn't look away. I wanted to be there with him through it. He refused to eat. And his anger was unlike anything I've ever seen before. But then…" She slowed to a stop. Kakashi stopped with her as she placed a hand across her forehead and sighed. "But then I watched it work. I watched him get better. I watched him heal. The shakes disappeared. The hallucinations slowed. The mood swings, irritability, the madness. It all stopped. Slowly but surely. It stopped."
"Then why…?"
"Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy your company."
"And I, yours."
"But I guess I'm running away." She said with a tone of finality, as if she just came to terms with it. "I haven't seen him in months. And he writes and he calls, but I just tell him that I'm too busy. Picking up missions, making up for lost hours of work, which is all true." Kakashi briefly looked upward, thinking of all the missions he's requested her on the past couple of months and he had to think, was he a part of the reason she stopped seeing him too? "I watched Sasuke get better and as that happened, reality set in."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Even though we broke up long before he decided to check himself in, I'm not delusional. As much as I try to deny it, I know he went in there for me. Because the split was hard for him. For both of us, truthfully." Kakashi looked away. "And he assumed, if he was able to get clean, then he could get me back. And we could be together."
"But?"
"But, that's not the only reason we separated. I mean it is but—" She sighed again. "When Sasuke came back we realized, 'This is it. We're going to be together.' There was always a dark cloud surrounding that thought, though." She leaned against a tree. "We all have pain, things that we keep locked up inside of us. Things that we are scared to look at. But he's been through so much of it. How do you ever fully unpack that?"
"You don't."
"And that's what I'm saying, Kakashi. I mean, that's the reason he ran away in the first place, right? He couldn't deal with the pain. And what he experienced is too much for anyone to go through. Especially a child. But what happens when you grow up? How do you go on with that inside of you? Sure, you learn coping mechanisms. For him it was the drugs. But what happens when you're forced to take that away and actually look at reality? How does it affect those around you? Those who love you? And what of the future?" She looked down to her sandals as she started kicking at the dirt. "What happens when you finally have to take the mask off." She whispered. "When Sasuke was reinstated as a Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf—no, even before that. His priority has always been the restoration of his Clan. Now that he feels a sense of duty to the Village again, and more importantly a need to erase the sins of his family, it's stronger than ever. He must restore his Clan. He's the only one left. There's no way the hierarchy will ever let one of the most formidable Kekkei Genkai die out with him, either. He's the only heir." Kakashi frowned.
"Hey, I'm right here." He interjected playfully. She rolled her eyes.
"Right, because your stolen Sharingan will manifest in your offspring."
"How many times have I told you, it was a gift—"
"I'm just teasing, Kakashi." She laughed. "I know, you've probably told me the story a thousand times."
"Tch."
"With Sasuke having to reproduce, and the both of us deciding we were going to be together, I mean, 1 plus 1 always equals 2." She said sadly.
"Do you feel like you're not ready?"
"It was never that. And I wanted it to be that. I wish I could just lie and say that it was, but it's just…" She sighed. "Addiction is a disease, you know? And it's ugly. No matter what, it's a hard battle that he will be facing the rest of his life. Just like his traumas. When he does finally restore his Clan and reach the peace that he has been searching for his whole life, the pain will still be there. Subtle, but it will be there. And so will the fear of history repeating itself. A canker sore within the Uchihas rising and poisoning the whole family. It may not be within his lifetime, but what if it is?"
"What are you trying to say, Sakura? Because I'm sure your fear doesn't revolve around you believing the Uchiha Clan will ultimately be responsible for their demise again." She shook her head.
"When Sasuke first came back, I was scared. We all were. We felt that the sense of security was false, and in the next moment he would be gone again. In the middle of the night. Just like last time."
She recounted how she tried to chase after him initially. Begging him to stay. But her pleas fell on deaf ears and instead she was knocked out. Waking up alone and with an overwhelming feeling of loss.
"He's gotten better. He's healing. And the unspoken expectation he'll have of me is that we start this family. So, let's say that we do. Let's say that life is a fairytale and we chase our happily ever after. I will always be scared, Kakashi. I will always have that fear. That one day, it will all shatter. And I…" She looked away as she tried to blink back tears. "I can handle it. I know that I can. I'm strong. And I've fared so well over the years."
Maybe she needs to heal too. Even though she's never dealt with or experienced what they have, he can't imagine the toll that it's taken on her, being a bystander. Watching those closest to her suffer with no way to help them.
He watched as tears trailed her cheeks.
"But my child? An innocent baby?" She choked up and he understood. Children are blameless, just as the children who were slaughtered the night of the Uchiha massacre. They didn't deserve it. And he could only imagine that's what was plaguing Sakura. Their future child shouldn't have to deal with the probability of Sasuke relapsing. It's a hard truth. And an even harder decision to make. "It's selfish, isn't it? He's trying his hardest to get better, and it's still not enough for me."
"You've been through a lot, Sakura. More than you let on. You are entitled to feel how you do, and it's okay to put yourself first. You and your future child. But that doesn't make the decision easier."
"I love Sasuke and I always will." He couldn't explain the feeling that just washed over him hearing her say those words. It was…hard to hear them. "And I am strong, but not strong enough. If I saw Sasuke today as he was released, everything that I've said to you would be locked away and forgotten. And I would continue as I always have. Loving him no matter what."
Kakashi pulled her into an embrace because that's all he felt he could do at the moment. Any words he spoke would betray what he was truly feeling, and Sakura got pretty good at figuring out his tells. This wasn't the right time for him to be selfish though, or display any of the feelings currently brooding within him. How disheartened he felt hearing her words about Sasuke. But that's just it, right? Seriously, how long did he wait to start requesting her again while he was in rehabilitation?
"Come on. We have to reach Yugawara soon." She nodded against his chest and squeezed one final time. He placed a masked kiss on her brow and released her, and they continued on their path in silence, just as they started.
What mess has he gotten himself into?
He not-so strategically placed himself in between the fated lovers, and for a moment, he foolishly believed it would work. But just as Sakura realized, reality set in. Sasuke was released today, and he would come looking for her. He wouldn't find her of course, what with Kakashi whisking her away on an errand that he could full well carry out himself. But there was the wedding tomorrow night. Naruto specifically waited until Sasuke would be released to have it, and while Kakashi himself was a groomsman, Sasuke was the best man. And he wasn't sure if Sakura was the maid of honor, but she was definitely a bridesmaid. They would be forced to interact at whatever length, and she said it herself. If she saw Sasuke, all the words she just spoke to him would be forgotten.
She claimed it was the drugs that kept her from fully committing to Sasuke. But he's clean, so now what? She says it wasn't the only reason they separated, but really, what else could Sasuke and Sakura fight about? She's been in love with the boy almost her whole life, and she finally got what she wanted.
He felt it again, unwanted emotions rising within him. Who did he really think he was?
He and Sakura were nothing but a fling. A distraction for her, as she awaited her fate. Did he truly think that the girl who has been swooning over the troubled boy since they were teens would somehow discard her destiny and fall for the older, more unobtainable man? Her former Sensei nonetheless.
She could be happy with Sasuke. Get married, have his kids, and chase after her happily ever after. But her words…
The emotions he saw displayed on her face, the anxiousness in her body language, the tears on her cheeks. It betrayed her so-called destiny. She didn't want that. She was scared. But who the hell did Kakashi think he was, trying to step in between them and sway the future in his favor?
He inwardly groaned.
What mess has he gotten himself into?
He couldn't exactly pinpoint where it started. After the last war, their goal was to rebuild and mourn the many lives lost in sacrifice and duty to their Village. But something in Sakura…changed. War does that to everyone. There's a shift in the air and suddenly everything you previously thought mattered, didn't. And all of the things that usually held no value you treasured more than ever.
War creates relationships. People suddenly wake up and realize life is short. It's fleeting. And there is no use walking this earth alone, when you could walk it with someone else. Or, it does the opposite. It causes you to retreat so far into yourself and push others away. Because life is fleeting. One moment someone is there, and in the next they are gone. So why walk the earth, selfishly choosing to love, to make yourself so vulnerable when you know in the next moment the thing that you cherish the most could be stolen from you.
It's ironic, he thought. Because unfortunately, this isn't Kakashi's first rodeo. He's been on this earth a long time and he's experienced more than most. Lost more than most. He used to agree that it was selfish. Opening yourself up to love when you know that as a Shinobi, nothing in this life is truly ever yours to begin with. He watched his Sensei and his wife sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the Village and the Shinobi world as they knew it, leaving Naruto to struggle through his formative years alone. Never really knowing what a parent's love felt like. Never really knowing love to begin with.
From a young age he watched his father love his mother with everything in his being, for her to just die, so suddenly and so young. And shortly after that, his father, the man he was hellbent on emulating, died too. Leaving Kakashi alone.
He watched Rin pine after him, and Obito after her. Obito sacrificing himself for his friend who was only ever an asshole to him, and Rin falling into a deep depression afterward, only to sacrifice herself at his hand.
He watched Asuma and Kurenai grow up together, spend almost every waking moment they could together, for him to die in the line of duty. Leaving Kurenai a widow, and with a child nonetheless. No, he was all too familiar with the foolishness that love brought about. He used to agree.
But then something in him changed.
For whatever reason the Gods favored him, continued to allow him to cheat death time and time again when others around him weren't so lucky. And after the last war, after dying himself, he realized, what's the use? Why push everyone away from him when so many others didn't get the chances that he did?
He was sure if his mother wasn't taken away from his father, the White Fang would've continued to live for her and cherish her with his whole being. She could've saved him from his demise. Even if Kakashi couldn't.
He was sure that if his Sensei had the option, they would've both lived for Naruto and loved him wholeheartedly, just as he did Kakashi after he lost his father.
He was sure that if Obito didn't have to sacrifice himself, if they were never in the position of life and death, that he would've never stopped loving Rin and would've eventually professed his love to her.
And if Rin had the choice to live…
So why did Kakashi reject it so much? Because the thought of vulnerability scared him, and from such a young age he hid from it. Ran from it. But that was foolish too.
And Sakura…
He would define Sakura as the complete opposite of him. Enjoying the frivolities of life. Loving freely and completely. Because why not? But war changed her, too. War caused her to realize that everyone really does eventually leave, whether you want them to or not. And that there is no use in begging someone to stay, fighting for something as fickle as love when you really have no control.
War caused her to turn into him.
As time went on, she grew distant. She retreated into herself and instead focused on getting stronger to extend her lifespan, so that in turn she could continue to help others. After training with Tsunade and becoming a phenomenal Medical Ninja she thought, why stop there? She travelled to different allied countries far and wide, training with the best Ninja in the land to improve her combative ninjutsu. There was a rumor, that she confirmed, that she would barter with mercenary Shinobi that they weren't so allied with to train her as well. Tsunade had long since claimed that Sakura had surpassed her, and seeing that the Hokage was undoubtedly the strongest Kunoichi in the land and wasn't one for flattery, Kakashi was nothing short of impressed. She abandoned her childish ways and matured, growing into an experienced Shinobi right before his eyes. And he began to view her in another light.
But she was so different.
The innocence had all but drained from her eyes and the ignorance of a child faded. But her smile…that was what Kakashi noticed the most. Her smile dimmed. To someone who didn't know her as long as he did, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference. But Naruto saw it and he definitely did. Missions she would typically shy away from she started taking more often, and he truly knew something had changed when she started to take Solo's.
After the war, after he was pressed to take the title of Hokage and soon relinquished it back to Tsunade, she created a mandate that all missions, B-class and above, be accompanied by a medically-trained Ninja. Whether that be a full out Medic-Nin or a Shinobi with basic healing knowledge, it certainly decreased their casualties in the field. He used this as the perfect excuse to watch over Sakura and prevent her from spiraling down the dark hole he once did.
His intention in the beginning was just to watch over her and protect her. Only he didn't imagine he'd get close to her and eventually start to view her in that different light. But what could he say? He was a troubled man who woke up and decided that life wasn't worth living alone anymore, and she was a very beautiful woman.
Once he was free from the exhausting duties of leading a Village like Konoha, he went back to doing his actual job. And requested Sakura on every mission he went on. So much so that it started to become taboo that others requested her.
…
"Who's this?" Kakashi asked Itsuki, the Tokubetsu Jonin charged with overseeing the mission room.
"It's the Medic-Nin assigned to your mission, Senpai." Kakashi frowned.
"Well yes, I can clearly see that, but it's not Sakura." He grumbled.
"She's due to return back to the Village from her Solo late tonight, then she'll take off first thing to assist Hatori with his." He ran a hand through his hair. It would be childish for him to complain, and that was already unlike him, but he was sure everyone already knew that the only missions Sakura assisted with were his. Regular Medic-Nin just got in the way and Sakura could very well hold more than her own, saving his ass a plethora of time whether it be in battle or when he just couldn't avoid getting stabbed. So why did this jackass think that he could request her?
Itsuki must've sensed his inner distress because he leaned a little closer over the duty desk and started to whisper.
"Senpai, I told Hatori that she was to leave with you on your mission, but he argued that you'd be late anyway and unlike yours, he had a hard timeline. Plus, he said your mission was only a B-class and his was S-class, and he had a better use of her skills." Kakashi's eyes narrowed at this.
He saw what was happening.
With his former student getting older and stronger, her looks and mannerisms maturing, and Sasuke secured on House Arrest, Sakura was…attainable. She was beautiful, she was strong, and she was one of Konoha's most eligible Kunoichis. Of course this scumbag would use the fact that Kakashi was notoriously late to starting his missions on time as a ploy to get at Sakura. That was smooth, he had to give him that. But Kakashi wrote the book on manipulation, and he had what very few other Ninja had.
"No worries, Itsuki." He gave him a smile and turned to leave the mission room, walking with his hands in his pockets up the many steps of the building. He firmly rapped on the door guarded by two Anbu, and as he heard a soft 'Come in' he smiled, knowing indeed, he had an ace up his sleeve.
The Hokage to be exact.
He immediately bowed as the door closed, Tsunade seemingly displeased by the smile he displayed behind his mask.
"And to what do I owe you the honor today, Kakashi?" She asked, her tone bored as her face sat in her manicured palm.
"I came to you because I have an issue." Her blonde eyebrow raised.
"And what would that be?" Kakashi sighed, feigning emotional distress.
"My cherry blossom has been plucked from my grasp and assigned to some random mission. I'm not sure how this happened." Her eyes rolled.
"Considering she is a Medical Ninja on the mission roster, I'd assume she is just doing her job." He moved closer to her desk.
"But she's out right now and I'm sure she had no knowledge of being placed on someone else's team."
"And you want me to do…what?" Kakashi smiled cheerfully.
"Just reassign her back to my mission, Hokage-sama, and all will be well again."
"No." His smile dropped.
"No?"
"No."
"Hokage-sama—"
"Kakashi, honestly, did you believe you could just waltz in here and get your way?" He hummed.
"Regardless of the honesty behind it, which answer would spare me of your wrath?" She placed her hand over her eyes.
"I'm assuming you're talking about Hatori." He nodded. "He's going on an S-class mission tomorrow, and you got back from an S-class last week. I know you only suffered the duties of the Hokage for a short period of time," She remarked snidely. "But I'm sure even you remember that it's a mandatory month before you take another one?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"What can I say? I just love protecting my Village." She narrowed her eyes.
"Along with believing you are above protocol?" He frowned.
"You say I'm required to take a month off but let me take a B-class mission?" Another roll of her eyes.
"Oh please, Kakashi. You could do that mission with your eyes closed."
"But the fee for that mission, even B-class, will payout considerably higher than if given to any other Ninja." He started. "I'm assuming because my name is attached to it?"
"Your point?"
"Imagine the payout if you did a little Hokage magic and conveniently attached my name to the S-class mission. I'm sure our clients would be overjoyed and willing to pay top dollar knowing their requests would be carried out to the fullest extent. And then some." He stated matter-of-factly. A frown marred her features now, and he could feel the anger start to come off of her in waves.
"Kakashi, are you trying to use money to get me to do your bidding?" He shrunk back.
"Not at all, Hokage-sama. But I know as much as we both love this Village, money is what makes the world go 'round. And I am willing to put my life on the line to ensure it's financial strength." He finished with a hand over his heart and a bow.
"Shizune!" She called and the woman almost immediately appeared out of nowhere. "Please reassign this dumbass to the S-class mission tomorrow. Reduce his cut in half, but ensure Hatori gets the full payout for Kakashi's B-class." Kakashi tried to express the most disappointed look he could muster. But he was sure they both knew that even with his pay for the mission being cut in half, it would still probably exceed the payout for his previous B-class mission by hundreds of thousands. "If you decide to go and die on this mission, at the very least ensure my apprentice makes it back in one piece." He bowed a final time before turning to leave.
"She's safe with me, Hokage-sama." He assured.
"Kakashi," She called once more. He stopped. "What's the real reason?" She asked, her voice soft. He turned his head slightly.
"You and I both know." He stated, barely above a whisper. "I have to take care of her." He heard her sigh.
"Thank you." He nodded before exiting her office. It's the least he could do, after failing to keep the now imprisoned boy from defecting, and doing all he could to protect Naruto from the horrors of the world like his Sensei asked him to. He could never do much for Sakura, he noticed, as she went on to train under Tsunade. But now, in this moment, he could do this.
So, even though his body didn't agree with him, he woke earlier than the sun to meet Sakura and Hatori at the gates.
"I've never had time to visit the new restaurant, you know." He heard her say as he slowly approached.
"Once we get back, we should—"
"Kakashi?" She asked confused as she interrupted Hatori and shifted on her feet to face him. "What are you doing here?" He shrugged.
"I thought it would be a shame for you to never witness how much the light of dawn agrees with me." She rolled her eyes.
"The bags under your good eye says otherwise." He frowned.
"Yes well, the concept of beauty sleep is to actually get some." Another roll of her eyes.
"No, but really, what are you doing here?" He reached into his flak vest and produced a scroll. He threw it in Sakura's direction but as she reached to catch it, Hatori snatched it up and quickly unfurled it.
"I'm being reassigned?" He asked incredulously. "To your B-class?!" Kakashi nodded smugly.
"I'm sorry, Hokage's orders." He watched as his eyes scanned the parchment paper. There was no denying that red seal with Tsunade's signature scrawled above it. "Oh and, if you read the bottom, you even have that pretty Medic-Nin going with you. So you have something worthwhile to look at while you serve your Village faithfully." He said sarcastically with a bow. "That's your preference, isn't it?" Hatori fumed. "Now if there's nothing else, Sakura-chan and I must get on with our awfully dangerous mission. Your Medic-Nin will be relieved to see you at the mission room, considering I was planning on having her waiting there for a few more hours. Goodbye for now!" He called as he pulled Sakura by the arm out of the Village gates, leaving a visually disturbed Hatori behind.
"You're such a manipulator."
"Is this honestly news to you?"
"No." She stated with a shake of her head. "Have you even been debriefed on the mission?"
"I was so concerned with making sure I secured you as my partner I haven't even glanced at it." He said truthfully. "But that's why I have you, Sakura-chan." He finished, his eyes closing in a smile. She rolled her pair.
"It's espionage, asshole." He sighed.
"Undercover. Just my luck." He looked over at the pack on her shoulders. "And here I didn't pack a thing."
"You know I don't need you babysitting me or watching my every move." She snapped rudely. He shrugged, as they continued to walk.
"Do you want to tell me where we're going?"
"Earth country."
"Ugh, the weather there is so harsh on my skin." There was a silence between them, and he assumed Sakura accepted her fate.
"Kakashi?" His book seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
Their routine went on for a while. A long time actually. And he enjoyed it. Looked forward to it, even. If he was to recount an accurate timeline, after the war Sakura was in and out of the Village for about two years. Gone every couple of months for weeks to months at a time, stopping in the Village for brief periods. Long enough to catch up with their broken team, get dinner and drinks, and in the next moment she was back on. On another mission, in another country, masking her pain from those who loved her. Yeah, it was two years before he and Naruto, and even Tsunade noticed.
Sasuke came back not long after that, and in the most Sasuke way possible he agreed to pay penance, anything he could do to be reinstated as a Shinobi of the Leaf. Anything he could do to restore his Clan. Because he couldn't do it alone. If Sakura hadn't already retreated into herself, his return was the one that tipped the scales. She left upon his arrival and was gone for two months, refusing contact with anyone but Tsunade herself. He assumed it was a soul searching journey. Once she returned, she went straight to Sasuke's cell and didn't see the light of day for 48 hours.
To this day he doesn't know what went on down there, but just that it got worse. Sakura seemed more distant than ever and Sasuke got hooked on drugs.
That's around the time he quit being Hokage, and Tsunade enforced the mandate for Medic-Nin to accompany every mission B-Class and up. So what did Kakashi do? He got back to work. He requested Sakura on every mission he went on. She was surface level at first, not at all the bubbly Chunin he remembered but a war-hardened Jonin, seasoned by the horrors of Shinobi life.
Kakashi would never describe himself as patient, so in his eyes it took a while for her to open up. And when she did, he realized they were alike. A lot alike. They both ran from their problems. And when they finally did confront them, it was…catastrophic.
He absolutely didn't want to take the credit for Sakura and Sasuke getting together, considering that was the opposite of what he was trying to do. But the time they spent together allowed her to smile again. A real smile. One that reached her eyes. The brightness returned to those too. She let people in. She forgave Sasuke. She saw the joy in life and the meaning in loving again.
But it was before all that it was before she and Sasuke started dating, in the midst of her opening up, while she still had a tendency to keep everyone at arms length. It was during that time specifically, where Kakashi usurped Hatori on his espionage mission.
Kakashi and Sakura were in a bar, undercover, watching a target. She had gotten herself drunker than she was supposed to, and was not as secretive with their intel gathering. They were almost had(Sakura's fault) and stealthily snuck out of the back entrance into a dark alleyway to conceal themselves. The henchmen of their target were ninja, just their luck, and the both of them could fight their way out of their situation. But that would risk them blowing their cover and potentially the whole mission.
"All Tsunade-sama said is that if I get myself killed, I just have to get you out of here. So before you pop smoke, eviscerate my brain matter please. So at the very least my dead body can't be searched." Their backs were leant against a dirty brick wall and Sakura continued to peek her head into the street. She looked back at him. Through the dimly lighted alleyway, he saw emerald green eyes roll with exasperation.
"Kakashi, you're so dramatic!" She said in hushed tones. "It's not that serious, you won't die." He frowned.
"I think I saw them go this way!" He heard the nameless ninja say. Kakashi gave her a pointed look.
"Then how do you suggest we—" A fiery sensation enveloped his body as Sakura crushed her mouth to his, reaching one hand down his waistband. Instinctively, he moved against her, his hands moving past her waist and pulling her warm body closer to his. She turned her head and felt his tongue brush across her lips. She parted her mouth slightly and pressed her breasts against his chest. A light moan erupted from his throat. "I think they're…" He breathed in between kisses. "Gone." She slowly disentangled herself from him and stumbled back.
"Okay!" She started awkwardly. "Crisis averted." He smirked.
"Considering it was you who got us into this jam in the first place, if you wanted to just kiss me Sakura you could've just said so." She punched his arm with a little more force than usual. He mouthed an "Ow."
"Shut up."
But that's how it started. Mission after mission, Kakashi and Sakura found themselves getting closer to each other. And each situation more compromising than the last. They had sex, a couple of times, and they both agreed that they would continue on like this, but friends first and foremost. Actually, the conversation was more one-sided, Sakura laid the ground rules and Kakashi had no other choice but to oblige. Because he was a man, because he liked Sakura's company. Because their situation worked.
But then Sasuke was freed from his so called "House Arrest" early. They housed him in the furthest corner of Konoha in a forest, surrounded 24/7 by guards and allowed one hour outside, supervised where he could roam the Village. He was allowed no guests outside of Medic-Nin, and not even his teammates.
He didn't know that he chose to spend his hour of free time with Sakura, whenever she was in the Village and not out on a mission.
But Sakura did the adult thing and told him. Rather casually, if he had to admit. She told him as if she was freeing him from a contract that he was saddled with. As if they hadn't spent the last couple of years growing closer to each other. As if Kakashi hadn't gotten possessive of her. As if he hadn't fallen in love with her.
"You know, me and Sasuke are going to try it out." He looked up from the kunai he was sharpening with a rock as he sat in front of their makeshift fire.
"What's that?"
"Being together." It was as if he felt ringing in his ears.
"Is that so?" He settled on saying as his body grew hot.
"Yeah, so, you're free to sleep with other women again. I'm sorry I held you back for so long."
Sorry? She was sorry?
He was all too familiar with the rumor mills of Konoha, labeling him a ladies' man who sleeps with any and everyone. Which was only partly true because Kakashi was very selective with the women he chose to lay with. But that wasn't what bothered him. What bothered him was that Sakura just thought that they could get close, and she could make him feel things, things that he's never felt before. She could make him feel like he was safe with her. She could make him feel like he wasn't a troubled man with an even more troubled past. She could make him feel like all of his previous sins were erased. She could make him feel like the world was worth living in, with her.
Which was why, he thought, why he bothered running away from things like this. Because they were never truly yours to begin with. That had to be what Sakura thought. She couldn't have felt them too, or else they wouldn't be in front of this fire, headed back to the Village after a particularly gruesome mission, talking about them not sleeping together anymore as if they were talking about the weather.
"I was starting to get an itch for something different." He spoke after a long pause.
"Oh, shut up." She punched him playfully. Because how could she know? They were both runners, he realized.
They didn't bother talking about things like feelings. Because somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that since Sasuke was back, he didn't stand a chance against the fated lovers. Sakura, knowing Kakashi's history and how he treated everyone so carelessly, probably thought their relationship, their "fling," was just another pastime to him. He was so comfortable with her and didn't want to lose her. But just like when she set their ground rules and he went along with it, he wouldn't object to this either.
Because what mess has he gotten himself into?
He had to have been lost in his thoughts half the day, because he noticed they weren't too far from Yugawara, a small town nestled in between Yumegakure and Fire Country's border. They were to meet with the wedding vendors and escort them back tomorrow morning, so they would have enough time to cook and set up the decorations before Naruto's sunset wedding.
All Shinobi were invited, which he didn't particularly like, because all Shinobi didn't always take a liking to Naruto. They weren't aware that he was the Yondaime Hokage's son, and that he sacrificed his life to save Naruto's. All they saw him as was a filthy beast. But Naruto would be the next Hokage, sooner rather than later, because Tsunade's rope was wearing really thin. Considering she didn't plan on taking the job back in the first place.
"I love this town," He heard Sakura say. Her first words in hours. She was probably as distracted by her thoughts as he was. Considering when she got back to the Village she would have to see Sasuke. "Remember our first mission here?"
"How could I forget?" She blushed in response. It was a beautiful town, surrounded by hot springs. And their mission wasn't here, it was in Yumegakure, but after its completion on the way back, the two celebrated here. He understood why she blushed, too. It was the first time they had sex.
"You're drunk, Sakura."
"So are you," She sang.
"But way less notably so." He quipped as he walked her back to the cottage inn they were staying at. She turned her nose up into the air.
"No fair." She whined. "You never get drunk with me, Kaka-sensei." He frowned.
"Sakura, I told you that you can't call me that anymore. My tongue's been down your throat."
"Oh yeah." She pouted as she plopped down on the futon in their room. "But isn't it sexy? Like something out of your books?" He raised his eyebrows as he sat opposite of her on the bed. She lowered her eyes.
"Don't tell me you've been reading my porn, Sakura." He said with a laugh.
"I may have stolen a glance or two while you were sleeping." She rose and moved to sit beside him on the bed, nuzzling his masked neck with her nose. He exhaled. "You know," She started, as her fingers trailed up, slowly pulling down his mask.
"Yes?" He breathed. She pulled back, her glazed green eyes staring intently at his.
"You've gotten so comfortable with me. I can see your face whenever I want." He smiled, and he noted that her face always lit up when he did that.
"Well, you snuck up on me and saw it. I feel it would be backward to try and hide it now." She frowned.
"Liar." She said as she playfully pushed him. "There's no way I snuck up on you. You wanted me to see it." He raised his hands in surrender.
"You caught me." She softly cupped his face in her hands.
"Why?" He shrugged.
"We already kissed." She rolled her eyes.
"You're lying again."
"I'm not—"
"Kakashi." She stated firmly. Her eyes were piercing his now, as if she was staring into his soul. And in that moment, with those eyes, he realized that she could. Have his soul, that is. Just her.
"I care about you." She broke her gaze.
"Your tongue is loose. Maybe you are drunk." It was his turn to roll his eyes.
"I never said that I wasn't, I just said that you were drunker."
"Is that a word?"
"Maybe,"
"I feel like—"
"No more talking." He took her lips in a kiss, pulling her into him. His hands grasped both sides of her head, his fingers entangled in her hair. She pulled back again.
"I like when you do that."
"You talk too much," He sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his scarred eye. He plopped back onto the bed. His shirt raised, revealing his waist and a small amount of his pelvis. She traced the skin that was exposed.
"It was a tough mission." She said solemnly.
"It was." He agreed.
"You almost died back there. You're always getting stabbed, Kaka-sensei."
"It's like I can't avoid it. But I had you there to patch me up as always, Sakura-chan." He chuckled as she frowned, continuing to trace light circles with her fingers.
"What if it's not me next time? If you get stabbed and I'm not there?" He scoffed.
"And why the hell would you not be there?" He questioned. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but I don't really fancy you on anyone else's team."
"You fancy me?"
"Correct."
"Well, I'm not sure what I'd do without you. Somehow, someway, you're always saving me."
"If we're about to have another conversation about your abilities or lack thereof, you can cut it out."
"But—"
"I'm sure you didn't gallivant around the world for two years to doubt yourself. As much as you think you're on my team because I pity you, I choose you every time because you can hold your own." He finished with his eyes closed.
"Foreals?" She asked, her voice child-like as she laid on his chest.
"Foreals." He repeated. "You're old enough to take criticism. You weren't shit back then,"
"Ouch."
"But," He continued. "You're the strongest Kunoichi in the land now. I'd bet my life on it."
"Your life?"
"Yes. And I don't say that lightly. No matter how much alcohol we've had tonight."
"Maybe you're just trying to get into my pants?"
"I want to do that sober." Too much alcohol…
He opened his eyes to see a blush run across her cheeks. He braced himself for the oncoming punch. It never came. She shifted to sit on her knees now, her hands placed atop them, leaning toward him so he had the perfect view of her breasts.
"Can we…"
"No." She pouted.
"Why not?" He closed his eyes again.
"You're drunk, and I don't want you to wake up and eviscerate my brain matter because you regret it."
"Enough of that!" She laughed and she did hit him this time. "I feel the same way sober, too." He nodded.
"So if we wake up and you cuddle me, because God knows you can't keep your hands to yourself—"
"Kakashi!"
"Honestly, is that why you always book us one room together? Geez, Sakura. You're not slick." She blushed again.
"I'm trying to save money!" She retorted, her features flustered. He gasped and placed a hand over his heart.
"Sakura-chan, have you been trying to bed me?" He responded, his voice feigning emotional distress. "I'm not just some play-thing, you know. I have feelings."
"Kakashi…" Her voice was dangerously low this time.
"Kidding," He responded cheerfully with his hands raised. "If you wake up and you feel the same, feel free to jump me." She rolled her eyes and laid back down next to him, her head against his chest and her leg propped up against his body as her hand caressed his face.
"Fine, I will." She grumbled.
"Don't forget," He sang. She smacked a hand across his chest.
"You pervy old man." She felt the vibration of his laugh emanate throughout his body.
"Yes, the pervy old man that you want to jump."
"Whatever." She breathed. He reached a hand up to brush her hair out of her face.
"Sakura?" Her eyes barely fluttered open.
"Hm?" She sounded. And just like that, she was falling asleep.
"I'll always be here for you."
"Always?" She muttered sleepily.
"Always."
"Me too," She whispered.
"Don't say things you don't mean." He said back as he kissed her forehead. But she was already asleep.
She didn't forget the next morning. She woke up and jumped him, as promised. But as he recounted the last time they were in Yugawara, he realized that they did talk about feelings.
Inadvertently.
Because he would always be there for her. And he wasn't sure if he could see any other woman in her stead. Permeating his personal space and boundaries, breaking through the walls he put up against Sakura. Against anyone. It was only her that could make him laugh like a child. It was only her that could get him to open up like that, about his past pain and trauma. It was only her that he would allow to sneak up on him, to see his face, which meant seeing him naked, truly and fully for the person that he was. No hiding, no metaphorical walls, no masks. He wanted her to see him. And he could count on one hand the amount of people who have, two of which were his mother and father.
But he realized that he did love her. And he loved her so much he would allow her to make her own choices, whether it was in his favor or not. He let her go when she told him she'd be with Sasuke. And he was foolishly at the ready for her once they broke up. Like a lovesick child. It was like they didn't miss a beat. Kakashi didn't care, though. It meant they could go back to normal. Or at least, what became his new normal.
"You'll learn your lesson one day, Senpai."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Kakashi grumbled. He leaned back in his chair and propped his sandals up on the duty desk, his face hidden behind his favorite Icha Icha book.
Who knew their illustrious Hokage was this adamant on standing behind her word? Honestly, he should've learned his lesson the fourth time it happened, but that wouldn't be Kakashi. Besides, he was stubborn.
Her focus now was re-organizing and creating a proper system of turning in, approving, and filing mission reports. Especially since that was a duty Kakashi completely neglected during his short stint as Hokage. Not to mention she was preparing the office for Naruto's turnover, whenever that would be, and she absolutely refused for him to take after his former Sensei when it came to paperwork.
Once again, Kakashi submitted his mission report late, without getting it approved, and definitely without routing it through the proper channels. More specifically, turning it Tsunade herself versus the Ninja who were on duty. But how else would he check on his favorite Hokage?
So once again he was shafted with desk duty, paired with Itsuki. And he'd rather not be there, but he tried skipping out before and spent a day in the correctional facility. Their Hokage really wasn't playing.
He only had a couple of days left, considering his duty was only supposed to be a week this time. Then he could go back to causing Tsunade as much trouble as possible before she finally hung up her robes.
"Let's see which medics are on the mission roster this week, Ryuji!"
"Yeah, right. I already know what medic you're looking for and good luck, Yasu." The man said with a roll of his eyes as they walked into the mission room. Kakashi's ears perked. "She only takes missions with Senpai, and if you try, there will be hell to pay. You'll definitely face his wrath." Yasu frowned.
"She's not his possession. It's not fair," He grumbled.
"You're just mad because you have a crush on her."
"Shut your damn mouth, I don't need that getting out. You know how the rumor mills are. Speaking of the rumor mills, are you going to join the betting pool?" Ryuji groaned.
"Are you talking about—"
"Yes!" He exclaimed. "I put 5,000 ryo down that he already banged her. How much will you bet?"
"Considering I like my life, none." Ryuji said, his tone exasperated. "How will you guys even find out?" Yasu shrugged.
"There are always signs. But you're missing out on a lot of money. More than half of the Jonin are in on it. I'm sure I don't have a chance but, can't hurt to try. Plus, if I go on a mission with her and find out first, I get to claim all the money." The two men approached Itsuki's desk. "Sensei, what medics are available this week? I have a B-Class and I'd like to request Haruno Sakura—" Kakashi slammed his chair down and shut his book that was conveniently hiding his hair, propping his chin on his gloved hands. The two Jonin in front of him stiffened and immediately bowed.
"Kakashi-Senpai," The one named Ryuji said immediately. When they straightened, he saw they were both as red as tomatoes.
"The both of you should probably work on your situational awareness."
"Yes, Itsuki-Sensei." They both said with another bow. Avoiding Kakashi's intimidating gaze, Yasu stepped closer to the duty desk.
"Is Haruno Sakura available, Sensei?" He whispered, even though it would do him no good. 'The boy had some balls,' Kakashi thought. Itsuki flipped through some papers on his clipboard.
"She is, actually—"
"Not. She is not." Sakura said as she walked through the door to the mission room, standing in between Yasu and Ryuji and placing her palms on the desk in front of her. "I have to be at the Hospital this week, sorry." She sighed. "Who's trying to request me anyway? Kakashi's on desk duty." She laughed as she shot Kakashi a look. Yasu turned bright red.
"Eh, some Jonin. I'm not sure I remember their name." Itsuki shrugged.
"Well can you take care of it for me, Itsuki?" She started sweetly. "You can put me back on next week when dumbo over here is back to regular duty." Kakashi placed a hand over his heart.
"Sakura-chan, that wouldn't be fair. You're not my possession." He responded, emotion feigned in his voice as he snuck a glance at Yasu.
"Yeah, well, I don't trust any other medic to save your ass. Plus, you'd have a fit and pull me anyway."
"True," He started. "But, what will the rumor mills think? They'll say I favor you." She rolled her eyes.
"Then it wouldn't be a rumor, Kakashi." She turned to leave. "Oh, and, if you stand me up for training again, you'll owe me dinner." She finished with a menacing glare.
"I couldn't leave my post, what would the Hokage say?" Another roll of her eyes.
"You just want dinner." He shrugged.
"Right again as always, Sakura-chan." He stated noncommittally. "Wait," She raised her eyebrows. "I think one of these fine gentlemen here had a question for you." She placed a hand on her hip.
"What's up?" If possible, Yasu turned redder.
"Uh," He stammered. "How's the Hospital?" She exhaled.
"I'm not at that Hospital this week." His eyes widened. Kakashi leaned back in his chair again and popped open his book. "I'll see you," She said as she left. Kakashi responded with a wave.
"So, is there still a specific medic you want, or…?" Itsuki asked.
"Any will do! Thank you, Sensei." And the two of them hurriedly turned around and headed for the large doors.
"I told you there would be signs," He heard Yasu say to Ryuji in hushed tones as they left the room. Itsuki sighed as he scribbled on his clipboard.
"It wouldn't do to taunt them, Senpai."
"Well, then that's no fun."
Sakura and Sasuke weren't together for long, but the short amount of time they spent as a couple looked depressingly promising. She looked happy. Almost as happy as he made her, if he did say so himself. Fated lovers, everyone called them. And Kakashi hated hearing that. He saved Sakura and she turned around and went back to follow her supposed destiny. They weren't in a relationship, and he never laid claim to her. But he let her in. And he was a very possessive man.
But what could he do? How could he possibly go up against the Uchiha whom she was in love with practically her whole life? So, he didn't. He let her go and went back to sleeping with other women. They were appreciative, at least. But one thing about Kakashi, he never went down without a fight.
Which is why, when Naruto frantically complained that he had so much to take care of for the wedding, specifically escorting the vendors from a semi-faraway town, Kakashi conveniently offered to take something off of his plate. The distress Sakura displayed in the coming days of Sasuke's release was visible to everyone. It was like a child awaiting their impending lecture or punishment from their parent after a particularly rough day at the Academy. In his heart he knew she was going to try to do anything to avoid Sasuke, and he set up the perfect escape.
It was manipulation at its finest, and right next to being an outstanding Shinobi, Kakashi was good at that. He never claimed to be a good person, and his sins would be for Kami to judge at the end.
So here he was, and here she was right beside him. Where she belonged.
He would enjoy his bliss while he had it, because tomorrow all hell was sure to break lose.
Sakura mindlessly bit at her nails as she sat with her legs crossed, lost in thought. She felt someone smack away her hand.
"Sakura, quit it." Ino whispered harshly. She sighed, dropping her hand as her shoulders lowered in defeat.
"I should be happy, Ino. Overjoyed. My best friend is getting married! But I can't seem to get my head out of my own ass." She grumbled as Ino frowned.
"I told you that mission with Kakashi was a bad idea. You only made things worse for yourself." She scolded. "Sakura, look." Ino continued, her tone more comforting. "Whatever is going on in that large head of yours, tonight is not the night you need to choose." Sakura's head whipped around to face her.
"Choose what?" Ino's eyebrows furrowed.
"Between Kakashi and Sasuke." Sakura scoffed.
"I'm not—me and Kakashi, we are not—" Ino placed a hand over hers.
"Oh honey. Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" She frowned in response. "Sakura, I know, damn near the whole Ninja population knows. You guys spend every waking minute together, and the only person he will go on a mission with is you. Everyone knows." Her eyes widened.
"If everyone knows, then—"
"He just got out yesterday. He stayed with Naruto the whole time. The boy is dense, but Naruto knows how sensitive the situation is. There's no way Sasuke could've found out already." Her gaze shifted to the ground. "Do you love him?" She started kicking at the floor in her geta as her hands fisted her kimono.
"Of course I love him." Ino used a finger and raised Sakura's chin to meet her gaze.
"Not Sasuke, you idiot." Sakura looked away. "And it's okay if you do," She started softly. "He brought you back from a dark place. He brought you back to me. And I'm eternally grateful to him for that. He did something no one else could do. Not me, not Naruto, not Shishou. And he did it just by being in your presence. That's special, Sakura." She finished, her tone barely above a whisper. "But the world is not black and white." She bit her lip.
"The question isn't if I love him, the question is if he loves me." She said, her voice small.
Sasuke brought the option to her. To be with her. Despite all they've gone through. He spent the only time he had free, just with her, talking about what a future would look like. A future with him, rebuilding his Clan. And the younger version of herself screamed in accomplishment. This is what she always wanted right? This is the future she dreamed of. Sasuke coming back, regretting his wrongdoings and vowing to spend the rest of his life with her.
But something didn't feel right.
She didn't feel accomplished, or happy. She felt anxious and mostly burdened with his proposal. But it was the right thing to do. It was always her, he said. Only her.
So she brought it to Kakashi. Because he was the one that no matter the problem, Kakashi would be there to solve it for her. She was truly happy next to him. She felt safe next to him. And in a world where she felt her safeness could be erased in the blink of an eye, the significance of his presence eased such a heavy load on her heart.
But Kakashi didn't protest to it. He damn near pushed her in Sasuke's direction. What did she expect? Honestly, she wanted him to offer a different alternative. She wanted him to ask her if she was sure. So that she could say no. She wanted to know how he felt. But she didn't get that. The asshole just told her that he was ready to be back with other women. But he also told her that he cared about her. So how would she know? How would she choose? The way she saw it now, Kakashi rejected her. And that hurt.
But still, she ran back to him like a lovesick child. She overheard Naruto saying that Kakashi was going to pick up the vendors in her favorite town(due to the Copy-Ninja himself) and what did she do? She went to him and begged him to tagalong.
How did he view her? Still like that bubbly teenage he knew years ago? And she had the audacity to whine to him about Sasuke, like he wanted to hear that.
Ino cautioned her against it, but she still went. She still went and messed up her already distraught mind. The sun would be going down soon, so Naruto's wedding would be starting soon as well. And she would see Sasuke.
"I don't know much, Sakura." Ino started, grabbing her hands in hers. Her expression was comforting, and it momentarily wiped the worry from Sakura's mind. "But I know this. A blind man could see that antisocial idiot loves you." Sakura blinked rapidly as Ino pulled her into a hug. "Remember, no decisions today. Don't ruin Hinata's wedding with your boy trouble."
Sakura choked back tears and a laugh sounded within her throat. As they pulled back, Hinata walked in the room in full wedding regalia with her sister and another woman in tow.
"Hinata, you look so beautiful!" Ino gushed as she and Sakura bounded up to the soon-to-be bride. A blush spread across her soft, painted features. Her kimono was an ivory silk, adorned with flowered crystals and at the bottom of the garb its hem was a light purple to match the calmness of her eyes. Her hair was hooded with a wide, white headdress. The unknown woman beside her, they noticed, had the same eyes as Hinata. Her and her sister were both dressed in a light purple kimono with a deep violet sash.
"Thank you so much, Ino." Sakura loved hearing Hinata's soothing tones. It was so motherly and her voice alone calmed Sakura. "Forgive me, this is my cousin, Natsuki." The woman bowed and raised.
"Very nice to finally meet you both. Sakura, I've heard so much about you." Sakura's smile was confused, as not to be unpleasant. The woman blushed just as Hinata did and she noted that the two were very similar. Long, dark hair and soft features. She was beautiful to say the least. "I'm so sorry! I work at the Hospital. I specify in rehabilitation, so I worked with Sasuke-san a lot." Sakura paled and Ino quickly pulled Sakura down into a bow.
"Not your day don't ruin it." She sang. They rose and Sakura forced a smile.
"It's nice to meet you too, Natsuki." She said sincerely. But she wondered, just what did Sasuke say about her? Sakura quickly reminded herself it wasn't the time, nor the place. "Are you ready, Hinata? Once you say yes to Naruto, he'll never let you go back." She joked. Hinata's features softened.
"I said yes to forever with Naruto a long, long time ago." She said confidently. Sakura's heart swelled with emotion. For Naruto and her friend, finding unconditional, unchanging love. It's a beautiful thing, to find that in a person, she realized. And for it to be returned. Sakura hoped for that, dreamed for that.
But just where would she get it from?
"Sakura." She stiffened. Her name rolled off of his tongue so smoothly. A voice she admittedly hadn't heard in months. What was that feeling that just washed over her body. Relief? Fear? She felt arms snake around her waist as his smell filled her senses. He was behind her and he was close. He lowered his head so that his nose nuzzled her neck. "You look…beautiful. I've missed you."
"Sasuke, hey." She turned around to face him and put some distance between them. "I—"
"Hey," Ino interrupted, a worried look on her face. "It's time." Sakura nodded.
"After." He stated, before moving to lock arms with Natsuki. The wedding location was in the largest training area clearing they had in the Village, where Hinata would secretly watch Naruto, and the surrounding trees were adorned with lanterns and decorations. The seats were filled with hundreds of Ninja there in support of Naruto. Kakashi approached her and touched her elbow. She looked up at him and she saw a smile behind his mask.
"Hey, Kakashi." She said softly, her previous tense shoulders dropping.
"Sakura-chan." He said cheerfully. 'Oh no.' She thought. To anyone who didn't know him, it wasn't noticeable. But…
"You're drunk?" She asked. He shrugged.
"Drunk is an excessive statement." He pointed out. "However, I have indulged myself in a couple of drinks from the free bar." She rolled her eyes. "I'm hungry, too. And you look like I could eat you right on up." She looked away and frowned, a blush spreading across her features.
"You had your chance yesterday and passed." She grumbled. He hummed.
"I felt like it would be in bad taste, all things considered." Sasuke, she figured. No doubt he noticed his display of affection a couple of moments ago. "But this look suits you. How can I get you to wear this again?" Her kimono was a light pink, and the material was decorated with cherry blossoms and a deep red sash. Her make-up was soft, but she did wear a small amount of pink blush and red lipstick.
"You hate formal settings," She noticed his kimono was a dark gray and it was loose, showing a noticeable amount of his bare chest. The obi that wrapped around him was the same color as his mask. She couldn't help the emotions that rose in the pit of her stomach as she gazed at him. "And honestly, the only time we wear these are during weddings." He held his arm out for her to grab as the wedding procession started to walk in time with the music down the long path to the altar.
"Then it's settled. A wedding then." He whispered. "Starring you. And while you look radiant in this," His eyes slowly looked her up and down. "I'd prefer to see you in Hinata's attire."
"What?" She breathed, taken aback. He looked to the front.
"I'd be your co-star, of course." Her face was filled with confusion. "Smile, Sakura-chan. Everyone is watching." She forced a smile back to her features.
"What are you talking about?" She said through her teeth. He shrugged again.
"What can I say? I'm inspired." They stopped, and Sasuke placed a kiss on Natsuki's cheek before they parted to their respective sides of the altar. Kakashi lowered and placed a masked kiss on her cheek as well. It was customary, but he lingered. Longer than he needed to. "See you after." He whispered in her ear. Stunned, she shuffled behind Natsuki.
Behind them were Ino and Shikamaru, then Hanabi and Konohamaru. The beat of the music changed and Naruto appeared, donned in an striking black kimono with an orange trim and the red symbol of his seal mark on his back. The Shinobi seated started to cheer and he grinned from ear to ear as he walked to the altar. He locked eyes with Sakura and came to her side, slightly pulling her by her elbow away from the wedding procession and closer to the altar. He turned them away from the others and bent lower so that he could hear her.
"Sakura, are you okay?" He asked, his tone worried.
"Honestly, I don't know how to answer that." She admitted truthfully. Then she shook her head and placed a hand on his chest. "But please, today isn't about me. It's your wedding!" She whispered back. He waved her away.
"Oh please, me and Hinata got married a long time ago. These are just formalities for the Hyuuga's." She glanced back to see her Clan seated in the front, their piercing eyes stoic and seemingly judgmental. She turned back to Naruto. "Mostly because I knocked her up a couple months ago and they don't know." He laughed while sheepishly scratching the back of his head. Her eyes widened.
"You baka!" She whispered harshly, torn in between happiness for him and stunned by his stupidity. "Don't you think they'll be able to do the math when the baby does come?" He rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"It will be too late by then!" He grinned from ear to ear before turning serious again. "But back to you. Kakashi said some things while we were all getting dressed. Specifically, he asked how Sasuke would feel seeing you in a wedding dress." Her eyes widened. "Now he said it as a joke, but the rest of us know…" She searched his eyes.
"Know what?" Naruto rolled his pair.
"Now, Sakura. A blind man could see the two of you…" She looked away. "And this was long before Sasuke was freed. But listen," He placed a hand on her shoulder. "He brought you back to us. And that is a feat none of us could accomplish. Not me, not baa-chan. So I'm grateful, and I'm happy for you." He smiled. "But Sasuke doesn't know. I spent the day with him yesterday. He suspects something, though." He looked around. "And it's too much free alcohol here and too many Shinobi. You need to get him before they do."
Her heart clenched painfully as the music changed. Both of their heads whipped behind them to see Hinata appear, her white hood covering her eyes and a beautiful lilac bouquet in her hands. All of the Shinobi in the seats stood and watched her walk in awe. Naruto grinned.
"There's my wife!" He exclaimed. He grabbed Sakura's head in his hands and placed a kiss on her forehead. "After, okay?" She nodded before he quickly moved to take his place at the altar. Sakura stepped back in between Natsuki and Ino, forcing another smile on her features. Her stomach was in knots.
What was to come after?
What did Sasuke want to talk to her about? And Kakashi? His taunting Sasuke no doubt meant he had a plan up his sleeve. She learned over the last couple of years that Kakashi was a Grade-A manipulator and excelled in sabotage so just what was he planning? Naruto's words hinted that he wanted to reveal much more but he was in the middle of his wedding for Kami's sake!
As Hinata reached the altar and her Shishou, adorned in her robes and her hat, took her place in front of them, an actual smile graced Sakura's face. Despite everything that has happened, she was so happy for them. This is what she was running from all along, the fear of happiness. That her and her friends would never be able to reach this state of peace, that like all of the lives that were sacrificed before them, they too would be lost. But here, at her best friend's wedding, standing among those closest to her, she felt they finally reached it.
And although Ino warned her that it wasn't her day, and the words of the men around her assured her impending doom, no matter what happened afterward, nothing could take this feeling away from her.
As nameless Ninja danced, ate, and drank all around her, Sakura took another shot of sake as she leaned against the bar. Anything to calm her nerves.
The bartender poured her another one as she took in the scenery. The training area was illuminated by the moonlight and the many streams of lanterns that hung above her. Hinata and Naruto really spared no expense on the wedding, she figured. And there was no reason to, the wealth that the Hyuuga Clan had and the wealth that Naruto accumulated over the years. Along with coming of age and finally having access to his father's wealth, this expensive wedding was nothing.
And it was beautiful, on top of that. Listening to the vows that they shared, Sakura was truly happy for Naruto, Hinata, and their unborn child that he vowed whether boy or girl he would name them Minato. Much to Hinata's dismay of course.
She ate and drank by herself at the bar, and as she took another bite of her delicious food she remembered, the vendors that they escorted here, had to be escorted back. She inwardly groaned as thoughts of Kakashi flooded her mind. And it was as if everyone was thinking of him as well, because two men just rushed a couple of yards past her into the forest. She heard them grumbling his name as one of them wretched into the bushes. She recognized them as Yasu and Ryuji, two Jonin she met a couple of months prior during one of the many times Kakashi was on desk duty. She slinked closer in the shadows to overhear their conversation.
"This is what you get, Yasu." He stood and wiped the back of his hand against his mouth.
"For what? Celebrating?" He exclaimed. "You saw the kiss between those two."
"It was on the cheek, dumbass." He shook his head.
"But did you see the way he looked at her? I told you there would be signs." He said triumphantly. "I heard he started all the ruckus himself, and it makes sense. You know Reika?"
"The Anbu girl?" Ryuji asked.
"Yeah, that one. She was hinting to everyone at the bar that she spent the night with him." He rolled his eyes in response.
"And what would Senpai gain from all of this?" They started walking back toward the clearing and Sakura pressed her back against the tree to avoid being seen.
"To boast his prowess and superiority, of course. That he can do whatever suits him with whomever he wants."
As they walked past her, Sakura found it was hard to breath with that awfully painful clench in her chest. She grabbed at her kimono and tried to regulate herself.
She felt a hand on her waist and smelled a scent that she familiarized with Kakashi and immediately turned around. Speak of the devil.
"Sakura-chan." He leaned over to her to kiss her but she immediately pushed him away. "Alright, that was the opposite of what I was expecting." He deadpanned.
"Did you do this?" She questioned as anger filled her body.
"I'm a man of many talents. I'm afraid you're just going to have to elaborate." She pushed his chest again.
"Were you the one who started all of these rumors?" His eyes narrowed.
"For one, you've never had any issue with them before. Because are they truly rumors if everything they've said we've done is true?" He stated sharply. "And two, do you think I'm a child?" He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Sakura. Why are so worried about it anyway?" She frowned and looked away. "Oh, you don't want your dear Sasuke to find out." He chuckled sarcastically. "The rumors about us are nothing but past whispers. You should have nothing to worry about. You released me of my contract remember?"
"Is that why you were so quick to sleep with Reika?" He laughed again, this time louder than the last. As if he was laughing at her.
"So that's what this is about." He sighed and shook his head. When he looked back at her, his onyx eye pierced her pair. "You get to tell me to my face that you want to get back with the love of your life and leave me in the dust. You tell me that I'm free to sleep with other women. Then you become upset when I actually do." She quickly swung her hand to smack him but he grabbed it, using it to pull her closer to him. The swell of her breast rose and fell with each breath she took against his chest. He brought his face to hers. "Tell me, Sakura." His deep baritone sent shivers down her spine. "Have you made your decision yet?" There was a long pause before she averted her gaze. "Figures. Well here, I'll make your decision for you. Cling to Sasuke. Go cling to your happily ever after." He said icily as he dropped her hand and left her in the trees stunned. He returned to the bar and grabbed her forgotten shot and downed it with a speed invisible to the naked eye.
She shakily walked to one of the empty tables and sat, her hands fisted in her kimono as her stomach continued to turn in knots. The echoes of his stone-cold tone continued to replay in her mind, making her head swim. Or maybe that was the alcohol. She felt wetness on her cheeks. Was it raining? She slowly looked around her to the thinning crowd that was still dancing about with drinks in their hands. She reached her fingers to her face to touch her cheek.
No, not rain. She was crying. She felt someone sit beside her. She closed her eyes and inhaled, wondering, what the hell she did to deserve this.
Has she not had enough?
"My love," He started.
"Sasuke." She choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. She tried to avoid his gaze, but she knew he had already seen.
"I inquired of your whereabouts yesterday, and Naruto told me he sent you and Kakashi to help with preparations." She felt her heartbeat quicken at the mention of his name. "Not odd, considering I heard that you completed plenty of missions together. Before I came back, when I was on lockdown, even while I was in rehab." He pulled out a cigarette. "Just nicotine, I'll stop this eventually too. For you, like I stopped everything else." A flame erupted from the tips of his finger as he lit the cigarette and took a long drag. He exhaled and blew the smoke away from her face. "What was the most concerning was everything I heard about you two." He shook his head. "I wanted to see you yesterday, especially since I haven't seen you in so long. I'm assuming that's what you meant when you said you were busy? The missions that you've been taking with him." He shook his head and sighed. "I wanted to see you, so that we could talk. Dispel the rumors together. Talk about everything I've accomplished. Everything I've achieved. For you. For us."
Her tears were flowing freely now, and it took everything in her to keep the ugly sounds from escaping her throat. He started running his hands through her hair.
"I'm losing my eyesight slowly, but what I just saw was undeniable. It confirmed everything. What a fool I've been." Her demeanor finally broke as she cried and he watched, the events of the day racking her body. "And once again, I'm the last to know." He sighed as he took one final pull of his cigarette before dropping it and smothering it underneath his traditional sandals. "I learned in rehabilitation to confront my fears. My fear was losing you, Sakura." He grabbed her tear-stained face ever so lightly and turned her to face him. "But we also learned to keep our distance from our triggers. Things that may cause us to relapse again. I see now, that is you."
He placed a kiss on her wet cheek before he rose and disappeared. Leaving a distraught Sakura in his wake, leaving her with that overwhelming feeling of loss she feared.
The peace that she originally felt today shattered. She was reminded why she ran away, on a personal quest to find her own strength and meaning in life. To find purpose. Because in a moment's notice, like she unfortunately experienced, the things that you cherish and especially the ones that you love…everything could be taken from you.
The ending of chapter 2 and the beginning of the Prologue! I hope you loved it! Chapter 3 up next, review and follow so you don't miss an update! See you soon XD
