The following days were spent working hard on the packets, doing her level best despite feeling the entire time she wasn't good enough. At the very least she could hold a gun, take shots at something. Turned out she wasn't much of a marksman either but she had reasonable enough accuracy to hit something at twenty or thirty paces after a few tries. Not being great at anything might have been a blessing since theoretically she could apply herself to whatever sounded good. If one thing kept her from quitting it was the knowledge that at the very least she could be useful guiding caravans through downtown.
Vivian took her on a long, winding tour around the entire property. In the daylight, with time to really look, she found that the layout of the settlement was far more impressive than first guessed. There was a double wall inside the original that could be fallen back to in case the outside had been breached, complete with emergency siege rations and additional defenses. Inside the secondary stronghold lay the mighty robot forge that produced so many of the bots the Minutemen ruled the Commonwealth with but instead of a giant building with smoke stacks belching fire the entire operation was underground in a vast bunker. This was actually the most terrifying thing she had seen yet, rows upon rows of nearly completed Protectrons, Assaultrons, Sentry bots, even Robobrains with their human organs floating in a tank.
When they went above ground Mary Ann couldn't help but notice a conspicuous lack of food being grown anywhere. Normally settlements of this size needed a lot to keep them running and she had personally partaken of high quality food already. Growing, maintaining, transporting and protecting food was practically the foremost concern for every person in the wasteland. She had seen a number of well defended caravans come through the front gates but they were hardly farmers.
"Isn't that weird?" she asked Vivian.
"Of course not. I gotta admit, you clocked that one faster than I did."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"It never occurred to me how many people live here or what they eat. I was just happy to have food. I mean you see it everywhere sure but it doesn't jump out at you where it comes from. Most other settlements, you can see the fields spreading out all over. Robots and guards hard at work."
"So?"
"Did you know there's a vault up the hill there?" she pointed.
"Uh, no?"
"Yeah, few people ever did. You had to have pre-war records and even then, Vault-Tec left a lot of them off the books for secrecy. This was definitely one of them."
"Why?"
"That's where the boss was frozen this whole time. Whole vault was just a testing site for long term cryo."
"What, really?"
"Yep. He's been up there this whole time, just over the hill and past the cemetery. It's inside our walls now of course. But the boss has been a popsicle this whole time so close you could practically dig him out."
"No way."
"Way. Went in right as the bombs fell. Come out just up there, two centuries later. Boss is practical though. A vault is simply too useful to just leave empty. He put it to work."
"How?"
Vivian smiled. "What do you think we've been talking about?"
"A vault?"
"That's where the inner heart of the operation is. It's not the steam and wires of the robot factory. It's the breadbasket. That's where the soul of the Minutemen reside. Not in steel and power armor, but good, clean growing crops for the common man. It moved you to tears, did it not?"
"It did. I'm still embarrassed."
"Don't be. You've never really had a good meal in your life until now. It all comes from down there in the dark, under UV lamps and purified soil."
"What? No, that's impossible."
"Not really. Boss says it's a matter of 'soil rotation and verticality'. Apparently Vault 88 can grow so much it can afford to experiment with long lost seeds."
"Can we see?"
"Sadly, no." Vivian shook her head. "We can go almost anywhere but 111 and 88 require special clearance. You have to be the best of the best to get inside. Or have a really valuable skill they can't do without."
"Oh, I'm getting inside." Mary Ann promised. "Why the secrecy?"
"Hell if I know. Might be coffee beans down there. Might be special Institute tech. Boss is real protective of it."
"So he'll let people in the front door right out of the wastes but not into his freezer?"
"You don't understand. If the settlements are fortresses and oases in a crazy world, the vaults are islands way out in the ocean. You can't invade them, it's a pain to even reach them. Access is only given to people that have proven themselves after years of dedication and work. You can get kicked out any time. No one's dumb enough to get kicked out."
"Goal of yours? Getting in?"
"You bet your ass. I've been up here getting shot at, absorbing radiation, eating whatever I could keep down my whole life. It would be nice to forget all this ever existed." she spread her hands out.
They kept walking, talking to people, examining buildings. Traveling courier or provisioner appealed to Mary Ann but she didn't want to run into her old friends on the road and be itinerant her whole life. She felt the urge to stop, at least for a while. But what was a girl with no outstanding skills to do?"
"Maybe I'm just not worth it, Viv." she fretted as they made their way up the hill.
"Few people find their calling in a week. Besides, don't you listen to the boss? It's not about being amazing all the time. It's about putting in the work."
"What did you do again?"
"Generator repairs."
"Lots of work for you."
"Yep."
"Something I should probably have been good at by now." Mary Ann sighed.
"Yeah, they want me in robotics ASAP."
"Wish I was more like you."
"You are like me." she laughed. "We might be at different places but we're on the same path. Besides, you'll be fine no matter what. Boss has taken a personal interest in you."
"Yeah? Didn't feel like it."
Vivian stopped and looked around. "I've been dying to know. What did he say to you?"
"He told me the truth. That I was raider garbage and he would have happily turned me to ash. That I only had one chance to turn my life around starting now and I'd better take it or I'd end up in a mulch pit."
Vivian smiled but didn't add anything. "What?"
"Nothing. Just sounds exactly like him is all. Doesn't mince words, doesn't use a light touch. Tells you in no uncertain terms he'd smoke you in a heartbeat. I guess I could have warned you. Sorry."
"No, don't apologize." Mary Ann shook her head. "You know I never thanked you. For taking care of me when I got here. Since I got here."
"Ain't nothin' to it." Vivian disagreed. "Same as someone did for me. Lady that brought me in from the cold lives in Starlight Drive-In now. She's a painter."
"Painter? Can't a bot do that?"
"Paint walls? Yeah, sure. She's a real painter though. She makes art."
"Art…?" Mary Ann blinked. "Like...painting trees and shit?"
"Exactly."
"But why? What's the point of that?"
Vivian shrugged as they reached the top of the hill overlooking the township. "Soft power. Culture. A reason to get out of bed in the morning that isn't food or water. Boss says people's hearts and minds need nourishment just like their body. Says without truth, justice, culture, beauty, there's no civilization."
"Painting of a tree is supposed to do that?"
"I didn't get it either. But I'm starting to understand. There's something in people that's not physical, not entirely. It's something beyond just surviving."
Mary Ann thought about this as they came to the great glass building she'd seen the first night. "What's this?" she asked.
"Greenhouse. We'll just stop in a sec and be gone quick."
"Why?" she asked as they entered the antechamber with decontamination arches.
"The plant lady is kind of a bitch. Most botanists are."
"Really?"
"Well I've only met two so far but that's 100% of them."
They decontaminated and went into a second antechamber. It was not terribly cold out but the building's heat came flooding out along with a wild range of smells. Mary Ann reeled.
"What...is this place?" she asked in sudden awe.
"Greenhouse. Traps all the heat and light so plants can grow year round. Boss has them all over the Commonwealth."
"Is this where the coffee comes from?"
"Not here but somewhere just like it."
The second door opened and into the greenest place Mary Ann had ever seen they stepped. Green seemed to drip from everything, cling to the walls and ceiling, hang in the air. Where there was no green instead blazed bright reds, blues, oranges, colors nothing like the drab wasteland she knew her whole life. It felt like the heavy Commonwealth summer in full bloom except with powerful floral scents. It came from vibrant plant life two decades on Earth hadn't shown her before.
"Mary Ann?" Vivian repeated her name that she hadn't noticed the first time.
"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry."
"Ms. McCafferty in charge here. We'll just say a quick hello and be on our way."
They approached the workbench of a tall, thin woman with a pair of glasses perched on her nose. She was in her 30s, dressed in shorts and a summer top, hair up. On her shoulder hung a precision plasma pistol and scattered around her were gloves, dirt, leaves and notes. She didn't seem to notice they had even entered.
"If you're here with the manure, leave it outside to cool." she said without looking up.
"We're on tour actually, ma'am." Vivian said politely.
"Oh. Don't touch anything."
"This is Mary Ann, she's a new recruit."
"Yes yes, I'm very busy."
"I want to help." Mary Ann blurted.
"With the manure?" McCafferty hadn't stopped writing.
"Here. In this place." she clarified.
The scientist finally stopped what she was doing to swivel around in her chair to regard them. She appraised Mary Ann with the same expert deductions as everyone else seemed to.
"What's that?" McCafferty pointed at a purple flower nearby.
"A flower."
"Wrong. It's a geranium. Do you know anything about biochemistry? Molecular genetics? Plant taxonomy?"
"Nope."
"Then you're of no use to me." she waved her hand dismissively.
"Were you born knowing all those things?"
"Excuse me?" McCafferty leaned forward.
"Someone had to teach you, right? At one point you knew the same amount about plants as I do. Ma'am. This is exactly what I've been looking for. Something the Minutemen are doing that no one else can offer. I want it all."
"This building might as well by my castle, girl." McCafferty declared. "I'm the queen here. The only way some random waster is coming to work in here is if the general himself orders me to take you on."
"Actually he probably would." Vivian spoke up. "She's kind of his pet project."
Mary Ann grinned wide as McCafferty digested this new development. "Can you read and write?"
"I can."
"What's your background?"
"Junk."
"I could use an assistant to clip and water." McCafferty conceded. "It'll take years of study before you're any use as a researcher. You'll be doing grunt work, brute force experiments, idiot proof sampling."
"Fine. Whatever you need."
"You'll have to spend all your free time in the books just getting up to speed."
"It's done. Point me in the right direction, that's all I need."
"You sure?" Vivian asked.
"I've never been so sure about anything." Mary Ann nodded.
"I won't be taking it easy on you." McCafferty warned.
"Good. I can handle it. I've got a guardian angel watching over me, I can't fail her."
"Start by finding my manure shipment." McCafferty swiveled back to her desk. Mary Ann looked up and a drop of warm condensation fell on her face. She smiled at the sun coming in from the glass.
I watched the CCTV feed of the conversation in the greenhouse with a detached interest. It seemed our resident raider rehab project was getting on well with Dr. McCafferty. So much the better. I thought of Jeanie and was upset at myself. I got up to replace my lemonade and banished it from my mind.
I poured the iced drink into my pint glass and set down the pitcher. I took in a breath. "You can come out. You never were great at subterfuge."
Someone came in from the side screen door into the kitchen where I stood. Sheathed in a Stealth Boy, light refracted. I knew who it was.
"I'm unarmed, Charmer."
"I know. You shouldn't have tried to sneak in. Security would have shredded you."
"But it didn't." Glory turned off her Stealth Boy. She wore a plain Jane disguise, blending in as a settler.
"Thought you were long gone."
"We were." she set down her unused spade, part of the disguise. She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "Someone destroyed the Institute while we were out."
"Where'd you go?"
"Place called Far Harbor."
"Bar Harbor." I mused. "Great fishing town, before the war. Come, sit, tell me."
We retired to the couch as she took her shoes off and placed them by the door. I swirled my lemonade, regarding her.
"Girl means a lot to you, yeah?" she asked. "The skinny one?"
I smiled wryly. "I could never tell her. If I'd even saved one person with the Ghost tapes, it would be worth it."
"Have you saved her?"
"I think so. At the very least she's quit the raiding biz before killing anyone. That's a minor victory in itself."
"Your conscience still eating away at you every second of every day?"
I nodded slowly, looking far off. "Yeah. Sure is."
"Tell me something Nate. Be honest."
"Always am with you."
"How can someone like you feel guilt?"
"What?" the question wrong footed me.
"You've done so much for so many people. My people are free. Because of you. We've been fighting this war for years. You show up like a goddamn thunderbolt and wipe those Institute fuckers out almost overnight. My people can never properly thank you, you know? Your name will live forever in song."
I sipped my lemonade. "And still, you refuse to take any credit." she added.
"I had help. A lot of help. Could have used yours, actually."
"You didn't need it. We weren't the shock troops you required to storm the Institute. I wish I could have been there. The joy I would have felt gunning those fucking scumbags down."
"We didn't gun down as many as you would have liked."
"I know. You got the ones I would have gotten. But you didn't answer my question."
I looked hard into my drink. "You want to know why I can't sleep at night? You're smart, Glory. You can figure it out."
"I want to hear you say it."
I put my lemonade down on the table. "I built Shaun's crib with these hands." I held out my palms. "I carried him. I burped him. He was the only bit of normalcy I had left. The only little bit left of my wife. I loved them so much. And I put a bullet through his head."
"That wasn't your son." she put a hand on mine. "That was the Institute's director. A monster of their making, not yours. You can't beat yourself up over that."
"Yes I can." I refused. "I've taken many lives, Glory. You have too. You know the toll it takes on you."
"You have peace now. You've earned it."
I shook my head. "There's no peace for people like me. Just interludes of misery."
"Is that how you see it?" she almost sounded angry. "You have so many people that would go to war for you in an instant. Die for your cause. And you still think you're alone? That you have to shoulder the burden yourself?"
"There's some things no one can do for you." I asserted. "And no one can make you feel better about."
"I know. I've been to the cemetery. Nora, Shaun, Sarah, Jeanie. You've gotta let them go."
I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. "I can't, Glory. I just can't. It's not in me. I think about them all the time. I'm trying to move on, find something to do that isn't war. Fighting was the only thing keeping the thoughts at bay."
"Have you talked to Piper about this? Really talked to her?"
"She knows."
"Does she know how deep it really runs? Or is she only aware on a surface level because she made observations and called you out?"
"What do you think?"
"I think you're a very guarded, closed off man that refuses to ask for help. I think none of us really know what you really feel because you'd never tell anyone in a million years."
"That so?"
"Nate, you're the most important person in the world. You might not want to think it, you might not want to acknowledge it. But we need every single moment you have for us. I don't want anything to happen to you. Whatever you need, whatever you want, every synth, every Minuteman, every settler is waiting for you to just say the word. I'm not going to let you slip off into darkness because no one bothered checking in on you every now and then."
"That's a nice thought." I nodded. "You must have come a long way to deliver that message."
"I came as soon as I heard. Some things we gotta work out, you and me."
"Here I was thinking you came all this way just to check on me."
"I did." she said defensively. "I know you better than anyone alive. Not Danse, not Pipes, not Curie. Making sure you're okay has been a top priority of mine since you were a budding Railroad agent."
"Fair enough. What's the other component?"
She sat back. "Hmm. That serious, huh?" I joked.
"Deacon tells me Dr. Madison Li is in charge at the Institute now."
"That's right. Everyone knows that."
"You trust her?"
"What you're really asking is if you can trust her, Glory. If I didn't trust her I wouldn't have made her Director."
"Fine, can I trust her?"
"Sometimes I think you don't even trust me, so I doubt she'll measure up."
"She was an Institute original."
"No, she's from DC- the Capitol Wasteland. Volunteered. She was different from them. That's how we got in in the first place. The crack in the Institute's armor wasn't their molecular relay or their turret defenses. It was Madison's compassion for the common people of the wastes."
"Hmph."
"Talk to her." I lifted a hand. "I think you'll find her more amenable than her reputation would suggest."
"Depends. We want to control our means of reproduction."
I took in a breath, held it, waited, and released it without Glory adding anything else. "That's uh...quite a simple sentence with a lot of complex implications."
"You don't say." she tilted a knuckle at me. "Still think I should go talk to Li?"
"I mean, you kinda have to. It's her facility you want access to."
"Come on. You're still in charge."
"You are, factually speaking, incorrect. I am retired. This is an internal Institute matter. You will have to take it up with her."
"A word from you and she'll be forced to accede to our demands. I'm not so sure that means you aren't in charge."
"I can suggest. I can ask. But my word is not law. Since you know about Jeanie then you know that it was out of my hands."
"Literally. I'm sorry I brought that up, Charmer. You know I liked her."
"I did too. So I can't guarantee anything is the point."
"It would be a lot easier with you on hand to gently push things in our favor."
"I'll think about it. The whole point of stepping away was to step away. If I'm constantly meddling and pushing to have things done my way, then I am still in charge. These councils and committees and political machines need to be able to function without my personal intervention."
"I'll take it." she tilted her head.
"Good. Now, come try some of this lemonade."
