Majo Kon-kiThe Marriage of Tanya the Witch

(The marriage chronicles of a witch)

Arc 5 - Order of the Phoenixpart 7

October, AD 1995, the Room of Requirement in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"It's as if Hogwarts itself wants to help us!" Harry happily presented the Room of Requirement as it generated the proper tools for his class, much to the amazement of his future students.

"It was your idea." Tanya stated to Hermione. Obviously, this whole studying Defense Against the Dark Arts by themselves was her countermeasure to their self-appointed 'High Inquisitor' and her 'Educational Reform.'

"Is this what you were discussing in Hogsmeade?" She cursed Aberforth Dumbledore, recalling he told her they were merely chit-chatting.

"If I knew he would neglect his duties, I would have kept Mundungus Fletcher in Hogsmeade!"

"I'm really sorry for not telling you sooner! But it was essential for Harry to take matters into his own hands!"

"It's okay, I am not offended, just curious as to why you preferred Harry over me."

"W-well, to begin with, you're quite busy with the Order, and, let's be honest, Harry has more notable accomplishments…" The bushy-haired girl enumerated her husband's many deeds: Saving the Philosopher's Stone, slaying the basilisk, vanquishing around a hundred Dementors, defeating a dragon, and confronting Voldemort on his own.

Tanya held back the impulse to admit that she was behind most of it.

"Whatever, he would have done all of this without me anyway." Still, Tanya had personally trained Harry and should have been the first choice because of her experience. Furthermore, she had the impression that Hermione was uncomfortable discussing the topic.

"She's scared you'd be so rough you'd rip the students' arms off."

"R-RON!" Hermione shot a glare at the redhead.

"As if you were any different! Who was deathly afraid Tanya would have ACROMANTULAS train us?!"

"Y-you bloody snitch-"

"I am so glad you two trust me so much…" Tanya's sarcastic remark earned an apology from the bickering duo.

"In any case, why did I have to come too? You don't honestly think I need classes in self-defense, do you?"

"No, it's because… have you seen who are here?"

Looking around, Tanya could recognize all the faces: Luna and her dorm mates, Ginny, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Lavender, the Patil twins, Fred and George, Lee Jordan, the three chasers from the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Colin and Dennis Creevey, Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, Marietta Edgecombe, Ernie Macmillan, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Anthony Goldstein, Michael Corner, Terry Boot, Zacharias Smith…

"Ah? You invited some Slytherins!" Tanya spotted the Greengrass sisters, the Carrow twins, and a few others. To sum it all up, every Slytherin who had been in her study group in the past.

"When we told them that Harry would be the teacher and not you, about half wanted to give up. In the end, we compromised saying you would supervise him." Tanya was slightly annoyed that they had decided to involve her without her consent and had only notified her a few hours ago.

"We're better off without them if you ask me!" Ron grunted.

"And we didn't discover who tipped off Umbridge!"

"Ho? So this is the motive behind her latest 'educational decree'!" Tanya had thought something must have happened for the woman to ban all student organizations and clubs from the school.

"Ron, for the last time…! I put a jinx on the piece of parchment we all signed!" Hermione elaborated, noting that any traitor would have the word 'SNEAK' marked across their face in spots.

"And don't forget the big help Daphne was!"

'Potter is right, the dark lord is back!'

"Daphne Greengrass said that?!" Tanya was genuinely impressed with her bravery and also with her stupidity.

"Should any of Voldemort's followers hear of this, she will have a target painted on her back!"

"Yes, and that wasn't all."

'We are different from Malfoy who plans to wait until a side wins! We want the princess to win!' Tanya wondered if this was fear after what she did to Umbridge, or if they intended to collect favors later on.

"Thanks to her, everyone was really motivated to learn self-defense!"

"So, you basically won them over by capitalizing on fear? Not a bad move!"

"Of course not! I believe the main factor was my pointing out the need for proper studying to pass our exams!"

"Rubbish! We had the whole lot the instant I said they could use the training for Quidditch too!"

"Please! Don't delude yourself! What are you going to say next? That Fred and George's little speech helped too?!"

'We will get stronger, better at quidditch, and popular with the ladies!'

'And we are not exaggerating!'

'No, sir! We spent some days with them, and Harry is a stallion!'

'His technique had the princess screaming the entire night!' As usual, the two were bickering endlessly, completely unaware of how their argument had almost doomed the pranksters to a painful end.

"I swear! If those two didn't owe me money, they would be long dead!" Fuming with anger, she turned to Harry and urged him to begin his club meeting so it would wrap up more quickly.

"I know, don't worry. We'll still have the afternoon to enjoy our room in Hogsmeade!"

"Eh?! That wasn't what I-"

"All right, fellas! I thought we first gotta- what, Hermione?" Tanya sighed heavily as they got caught up in trivialities, beginning with the election of a leader (as if it wasn't clear Harry should be the one). Then they moved on to choosing a name for their little 'band'.

"… the Anti-Umbridge League?"

"… the Ministry of Magic are Morons Group?"

"… the We Will All Have Cute Girlfriends Union?"

"… the Defense Association?"

"… the Dumbledore's Army?"

"Army?! Are they putting together a study group or a kid's rebellion?!"

"If we are getting the same training Harry had, does this mean the princess will knight us? With sword and all?"

"Haaa?!"

"Not a bad idea!"

"Always wanted to be a knight!"

"I don't see why Tanya couldn't knight you all!" At Hermione's declaration, Tanya was about to protest until she imagined herself bringing down a sword over the kids' heads. The thought actually brought a smile to her face.

"And are we going to appear alongside her in her adventures?"

"You are talking about those stories in the Quibbler? Are they any good?"

"They are brilliant!"

"Forget 'kid's rebellion', they are more of a children's gossip club! Pff!"

"I could ask Daddy to add a few new characters- oh!" Luna sighed.

"I just remembered… with our meetings, I won't be able to care for the thestrals! And soon they will start vanishing from my eyes!"

"How about we hunt down some death eaters after we learn some spells?"

"Don't say that! Tanya didn't train me to kill anyone and I am keeping her moral code with this group!"

Tanya facepalmed as she remembered the crucial lesson she had given Harry in the acromantulas' nest.

"A lesson he learned backward!"

"Harry is right, besides our OWLs, what we learn here should be used only for defense!" Hermione gave her a reassuring smile.

"Bunch of morons!"

"Hey! If we are following Tanya's royal code, how about we name ourselves 'Princess Tanya's Royal Guard'?"

"Wicked!"

"It has a nice sound!"

"Loved it!"

"'Princess Tanya's Royal Guard' rules!"

There was a major approval of this name… except by one person.

"If they put my name on their illegal group, I will immediately take the fall should they be caught!" In her mind, she could envision the headlines: 'Harry Potter Forms His Own Gang to Seize Control of the Ministry and Install His Princess as a Figurehead'.

"I won't be able to feign ignorance, Fudge will use this as an excuse to arrest me!"

"All in favor of the princess Tanya's royal-"

"NO!" All attention was drawn to her.

"It is, er… too embarrassing to have my name in a group! Such honor should be reserved for someone as notable as Professor Dumbledore!" In this case, it wouldn't be so problematic since Fudge was already all up against their headmaster.

"Dumbledore's army! That is it! As Ginny said, it is the Ministry's worst fear becoming reality!" She could tell they weren't very enthusiastic about the name.

"Thanks for agreeing with my idea Tanya, but we rather-"

"You are Dumbledore's army!" Tanya cut Ginny off.

"Dumbledore's army is the best name you can ever dream of having, UNDERSTAND?!" A bit of killing intent on the last word and forty heads were nodding their approval.

"M-motion passed!" With the naming out of the way, they finally began to 'practice'.

"So boring… yawn!" Tanya found the experience similar to watching little kids playing war. Besides, she had to control the urge to step in as it was almost frustrating to watch Harry take the slow 'nice teacher route'. She must have fallen asleep because, before she knew it, the class was over and they were discussing the schedule.

"You can leave that to me!" True to her word, Hermione gave each member of the group a fake galleon that would provide the date of the meetings. Tanya, impressed by her cleverness, would adopt a similar method of communication for the Order.

Time passed quickly and Dumbledore's Army (or DA for short) gathered as often as possible. Unexpectedly, the Gryffindor Quidditch team was the first to put their training to good use, fending off attempts by nearly the entire Slytherin house to sabotage them before the first match.

In the end, with the day of the game upon them and no injuries among their opponents, the house of the snakes changed their tactics to a full psychological attack on the Gryffindor's weakest link: Ron.

It went so well that Ron was left wallowing in misery, with Harry and Hermione doing their best to cheer him up.

"Come on, Ron! How can you be so down when your team wins?"

"… we won because Harry caught the snitch."

"You did great in training! Those prats made that stupid song because they were afraid of you!"

"I don't think it was stupid, truth be told, the lyrics were well made!"

"Uhhh… they were spot on! I couldn't save a thing!"

"… cannot save a thing… mmm-mmm… Weasley is our King… mmm-mmm…"

"Blood hell! It is as if I can still hear it!"

"… humm-humm… always lets the Quaffle in… humm-humm…"

"Funny… I am also hearing it."

"… the Slytherins all sing… mmm-mmm…"

"Wait! Who is singing?!"

"… humm-humm… Weasley is our King-"

""TANYA?!""

"Huh?" She realized that she had been murmuring aloud the Slytherin's song.

"Ah? Sorry! The song is so catchy I can't shake it out of my mind!"

"No… you are right… Sob! It's the truth…" By the looks of it, Ron's depression grew worse, while Hermione and Harry directed a disapproving gaze at her.

"That wasn't nice, princess!" Out of nowhere, Angelina Johnson came out, in defense of her teammate.

"I told him I was sorry! What else do you want me to do?"

"I believe in the policy of, if you break it, you fix it! You cost Ron his confidence, so you should compensate by coaching him!"

"WHAT?!" Suddenly, Ron jumped to his feet, staring at Angelina as if she had given him the death penalty.

"D-d-don't even joke! You don't know the horrors Harry and Dad went through under her 'special training'!"

"… was it so bad?" Ron vigorously nodded his head, prompting Angelina to, instead of showing any sympathy, open a devilish smirk.

"I have a great idea, if you don't get better on the pitch, your Highness here will coach you!"

"GAH! Anything but that!"

Watching their exchange had Tanya wonder if she should mention that she didn't agree with this deal.

"Whatever, it will do some good for him to train as if his life depended on it."


In the days that followed, Ron threw himself into both Quidditch practice and DA lessons with fervor, as if the acromantulas were already on his heels.

Harry was sympathetic to his troubles, as he had his moments of frantically fleeing from the giant spiders… not to say, all the other horrors he went through under Tanya's watch. Definitely, it was those bad memories that convinced him to take a slow approach with his own students.

And speaking of his former tough-as-nails instructor and current adoring wife, Harry could sense her boredom during the DA meetings. He also figured she must be as frustrated as he was, given how their Hogsmeade outings had been cut in half.

"Maybe I can compensate during the holidays!" And while Harry anticipated Christmas, he was given an earlier gift: Hagrid had returned. At first, it was a shock to find him all beaten up, but then, it went to the usual merry talk. His first action was to convey how glad he was at seeing Tanya alright and almost exploded in happiness when they told him they got married.

Sadly, their conversation was cut short by Tanya calling an emergency Order meeting for Hagrid to report all the information he had obtained from the giants. Harry suspected the news was bad because the next day during Care of Magical Creatures, his half-giant friend seemed a bit sour, frequently glancing at his wife.

"W-what do you reckon he will bring today?!" With Ron's question, returned Harry's anxiety of wondering which dangerous creature Hagrid might present next. They were, however, relieved to see the thestrals make an appearance.

It was not surprising that many could no longer see them, Harry himself could barely make out the faint shape of a translucent, reptilian-winged horse. Tanya on the other hand…

"Ah! It's the gorgeous winged horses that pull the carriages!" In a rare demonstration of her cute side, she hugged one of them.

"G-gorgeous?"

"Of course they are! Look at their lustrous black fur and their majestic dark feathered wings! They are prettier than unicorns! And certainly, more behaved…"

"I can't remember seeing them having any fur… and I could swear their wings were bat-like."

"I-I've heard folks describe 'em this way before!" Hagrid paled, taking in the scene.

"Healers, Aurors, and m-murderous sorts! People who've seen HUNDREDS die!"

Harry and Hermione gave each other a knowing glance.

"In her case, it was more in the THOUSANDS!"

"Blimey! She's gonna do it! To all of 'em, she is!" Harry was unable to ask what made Hagrid so nervous because their high inquisitor interrupted the class.

"… the Ministry is determined to weed out unsatisfactory teachers." By her words, it was evident that the same as with Trelawney, the half-giant was on the list for sacking.

The next day, Harry was so worried he struggled to focus during DA lesson. To top it off, Tanya scheduled a longer meeting to continue the discussion about the giants.

With nothing else to occupy him, Harry lingered in the Room of Requirement, examining Dobby's Christmas decorations (notably adorned with pictures of his face). He remembered Luna saying it was a clever tactic to keep the Nargles away from them.

"What were Nargles again…?"

"Hi, Harry." He didn't spot Cho Chang until she called out to him.

"Oh, hello, Cho."

"Is something wrong? You were kinda down during the lesson."

"Well, Tanya is too busy today… so we won't have any time to make lo- to have our weekend date."

"Her…?! Of course, it's about her!" The girl's expression turned to a frown.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against the princess, it's just… Cedric is always talking about how wonderful her Highness is!" She crossed her arms.

"Humpf! It's so obvious I am his second option!" Harry shared Cho's irritation upon this piece of information.

"Sod is most probably waiting for a chance to get his hands on my wife!"

"Harry, do you think they could have been sweethearts-"

"Definitely not!"

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!"

"This actually makes me angrier! I could forgive if she was his ex-girlfriend or kissed- oh!" She cast a gaze upside.

"Speaking of kissing, mistletoe!" With a startle, Harry looked up and saw one at the ceiling exactly over their heads.

"Uhh…" He felt uncomfortable, as the girl slowly came in his direction.

"I never, well… kissed any other boy besides Cedric!" She turned red confessing it.

"What about you? Kissed any other girl besides the princess?"

"No… I didn't."

"And what about her?"

"She…!"

"… did kiss Ron and Hermione!" Although there was an excuse, she was under a love potion.

"… and there was also her Japanese boyfriend!" In this case, there was no excuse.

"She did, huh?" Cho giggled.

"Want to get even? And… did you ever wonder how it would feel to kiss another girl?" Harry blinked, recognizing his curiosity, especially because Cho, exactly as Tanya originally was, is of an Eastern background.

"I wonder if Tanya was as pretty as her!" He tried to visualize a Japanese Tanya in his mind but the image always turned into the Snape-like man from his dream.

"I would rather if she resembled Cho…" Convincing himself it was another version of Tanya, Harry didn't fight as the girl planted a kiss on his lips. A few seconds passed and she parted away sniffling.

"Oh, Harry! I am sorry! You must think so bad of me, kissing a married man!" Harry paid no attention to her, he was touching his lips in deep thoughts.

"Cho… don't take this wrong… you are not a good kisser, are you?"

"WHAT?!" At this, her tears seemed to evaporate as she went red in anger.

"I am a very good kisser! Cedric always says so!"

"Well, now I am one hundred percent sure he didn't kiss my wife! Tanya is way better!" If Harry had to wonder, maybe it was the fact that his wife was so shy he was the one to start the kisses. She begins reluctantly, then warms up after he puts in more effort.

"It's as if she is always making me improve myself!" By contrast, Cho's kiss was bland… there wasn't any real emotion, any intensity…

"And it was so wet!" Probably because of her tears.

"Grr! I won't allow her to surpass me! No sir, not on this too!"

"Cho? What do you- mmmpphhh?!" And without his permission, she was back to kissing him.

"Was this one better?!"

"W-well…" Harry didn't need to say a word; his disinterested expression conveyed everything.

"GRRR! Let's do it again!" It basically began a kissing contest where Cho was trying hard to impress Harry with each new one.

"This is awkward…" He thought as Cho and him locked lips for maybe the hundredth time.

"Bah! I will lie that this one was better so she will-"

"HARRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Harry and Cho separated to see Luna horrified, staring at them.

"Luna? We are merely- !" Harry widened his eyes finally realizing what he had been doing in the last few minutes.

"Was I CHEATING on my wife?!" Luna's accusing glare said 'yes'.

"I-I was… err… my head was… fuzzy?" He recalled the mistletoe over their heads.

"I-it was… the nargles…?" He offered this lame excuse.

"It's the wrackspurts that make our heads fuzzy, you stinking liar!" Luna's face flushed with fury, giving the impression she was about to cast a jinx on him.

"I come searching for you and what do I find?! You snogging a TRAMP!" Rather than reacting with anger, Cho left in tears at the insults of her younger housemate.

"Oh, wait until Tanya hears- AH! TANYA!" Luna's expression changed abruptly.

"Harry, Tanya has collapsed!"

"WHAT?!" Faster than Cho before, Harry dashed to the hospital wing.

"I-I don't know what happened…!" He arrived the instant a visibly shaken Snape provided an account to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.

"While we were discussing the main points of the last meeting, she suddenly fell over!"

"Sob! She looks too much like when… when she d-died!" Like with Hermione, Harry's tears welled up seeing Tanya back in the miserable condition she had been in over the summer.

"Not quite, Miss Granger! She is breathing, see?" Without pausing her examination, Madam Pomfrey pointed out.

"From what I can see, she is suffering from a severe case of magic depletion!"

"W-why would she- Harry! Luna found you!" Harry ignored all eyes on him being busy doing an examination of his own. Activating his perception of mana to read Tanya's, he gasped noticing she was almost empty.

"Our link is broken?! Why did it- !" He remembered Dumbledore's words about how their link was as strong as their bond.

"… and I cheated on her!"

"NOOO! You can't die!" He desperately clutched her hand and begged.

"She is going to die because of me! Please someone help… Being X…" In all his despair, Harry went as far as to pray to the doll who claimed to be god from that strange dream.

"… hum…?" Relief was palpable on everyone's faces as they watched Tanya begin to stir on the bed. Harry, overwhelmed with happiness, saw that his mana had started to flow back to her.

"Oh! Thank God- Being X!" Though he had no doubt it had been a coincidence, he was still grateful.

"What is… going on…?"

"Yeah, Harry! Why don't you tell Tanya?!" Luna reminded him that, with the scare behind them, Harry should face the consequences of his cheating.

"I am sorry! It was my fault! I…! I…!" He immediately blurted out his disgraceful deed to his shocked friends, teacher, and healer.

Hermione and Ginny were left speechless, though their faces showed they were contemplating the most excruciating ways to punish him. Ron decided to quietly step back, avoiding any remarks that might backfire on him. Madam Pomfrey didn't utter a word, but her disapproving gaze said enough before she found an excuse to leave. Snape, on the other hand, tried to conceal his smirk, and Tanya sighed deeply.

"… if any of us cheat on the other, the link is broken? Meaning I can die next time!"

"There won't be a next time, I swear! I can't understand how it happened in the first place!" He searched his memory for how he wound up in this mess.

"There I was, sad we couldn't go to Hogsmeade today and before I knew it, Cho was kissing me!"

"I see! You were so frustrated you couldn't sleep with me that you picked the first girl you saw!"

"NO! That wasn't-"

"AHHHH! I am so angry…!"

Harry was shielding his head as he watched Tanya pull her hair, bracing for a powerful blow.

"… with myself! How could I have overlooked that girls would throw themselves at the famous Harry Potter?!"

"Eh?"

"Harry, I am sorry! I am the one to blame!"

""""""WHAT?!"""""" This unexpected declaration left all the present agape.

"I should be fulfilling my duties as your wife! Instead, even knowing the horny beast that you are, I let you become sex deprived!"

Harry wondered if he was dreaming, not truly believing what he was hearing.

"Don't worry, it won't happen again! As a matter of fact, the holidays will be here soon and we can go back home to have s-sex to your heart's content!"

Once more, Harry directed a prayer to Being X, for giving him such a wonderful wife who loved him so much she could instantly forgive his sins.

"This is OUTRAGEOUS!" Hermione, on the other hand, wasn't so forgiving.

"Tanya, you should think of the other wives out there! It is as if you are rewarding his cheating-"

"Save your breath, Granger!"Snape cut in.

"Don't you see Tanya has no other choice?!"

"What?! Just because she is head over heels for him, she has to tolerate his misbehavior?!"

"No! Have you forgotten about that OTHER deficiency which plagues Tanya as much as this boy?!"

"Ah? You are right, sir…!" Hermione hit Harry with a nasty glare.

"If Tanya filed for a divorce, it would kill her!"

"… and if she pays on the same note, it would be the same as suicide!" Ron remarked, his expression betraying hints of envy.

"She can't get angry and forbid him from touching her! She will die!" Ginny added, her words laced with a touch of contempt.

"Yeah… as you all can see, I have a 'high maintenance husband'!" Suddenly, Harry wished Tanya had gone ahead with a punishment. At least then he wouldn't be feeling so miserable right now.

"In that regard, I found out something very interesting…" Snape said, flashing him a smug smile.

"My findings discovered that should Potter DIE, Tanya will inherit all of his life energy."

""""EEEEEHHHH?!"""" This reveal had Ron and the girls exchanging astonished glances between Tanya and Harry.

"Tanya, please tell me you aren't considering this!"

"You heard Harry! He didn't mean to cheat on you!"

"Yeah! So far, he has been an exemplary husband!"

"Give him a good kick on the bits and let it be over!"

Unlike his friends, Harry wasn't worried, for he knew, regardless of any link or bond…

"Calm down, all of you! And Professor, thanks for your hard work. But I can't use this method." … Tanya loved him.

Honestly, Harry found this information reassuring, looking as, should the worst happen and he dies, Tanya would be able to live on.

"I was afraid you would say that! Still, I won't rest until a cure-" All of a sudden, beeping sounds started coming from both Tanya and Snape.

""!"" Alarmed, the two searched their robes for the source of the noise. They pulled out a strange small device Harry vaguely remembered seeing in the hands of Muggles before.

"Shit! Professor! Please, go see to it!" At Tanya's urgent request, Snape hurriedly left.

"What is going on, Tanya?" Hermione asked.

"Isn't that a pager?

"Yes, I used your idea of the galleons to call the DA members. I magically altered pagers and distributed them to the Order of the Phoenix."

"Right! I remember you mentioning."

"Only, my idea was to have it activate in the case of one of our members being attacked!" Tanya cast a gaze at Ron and Ginny, making both siblings pale.

"Oh, Merlin! Who is it? Bill?! Charlie?! Mum or dad?! TELL ME!" In reaction to Ginny's distress, Tanya turned the pager to show the name on the display: Arthur Weasley.


The holidays seemed to pass quickly for Tanya. As promised, she and Harry went back to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, where she let the beast feast on her body. She had no choice except to keep her husband satisfied, as her precarious situation left her at risk of losing her life over a simple flirtation with another girl.

"Imperturbable charm or not, he could have controlled himself with the Weasleys in the house!" At the very least, there was one witness less as Hermione went skiing with her parents.

Never had she wanted to blow someone's head off more than when Professor Snape revealed how she could regain her freedom. Unfortunately, aside from the fact she still needs him to deal with Voldemort, she wasn't so heartless to kill an innocent boy.

She expected her holidays to consist solely of being fucked silly until she got some wonderful news from Sirius.

'By law, you two have become adults! I got some firewhisky for Christmas Eve! Let's party all night!' Of course, Harry, being the nice boy he is, heeded Mrs. Weasley's warnings about the potential harm of drinking. Tanya, for her part, always had a strong tolerance for alcohol and was completely up for it… she would discover another hard truth about her body.

"Sob! I could go drinking with my coworkers and empty whole bottles! Now I can't take a single glass without making a fool of myself! Damn you, Being X!" The night was a haze to her; all she could recall was Sirius, completely drunk, mentioning the supposed curse on the Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching position. He spoke of how it claimed his one true love, a woman named Tasha Tectriti, who apparently got fired for having a threesome with Harry's parents.

By the next morning, Tanya realized that in her intoxicated state, she had embarrassed herself by having wild sex with her husband without using an Imperturbable Charm. Alongside Molly Weasley's 'I told you so, dear', the blushing faces of Remus Lupin, Ginny, and Ron, the twins' howls, and Sirius' laughter, she was battling the worst hangover she had ever experienced. Luckily, her husband's guardian had some effective potions, and she was feeling better by the time they reached St. Mungo's to visit Arthur Weasley.

"Tanya! I am terribly sorry for doubting your methods!" Exactly like the rest of his family, Arthur thanked Tanya profusely for his training.

That night, Voldemort sent his trusted snake to retrieve the prophecy stone while Arthur Weasley was assigned to guard it. Although taken by surprise, Mr. Weasley made effective use of his training and managed to hold his ground until Kingsley and the others arrived to kill the serpent. Lamentably, the snake managed to deliver a bite, and the poison was a rare type that prevents wounds from healing. As a result, he needs to stay at Saint Mungo's until a serum is developed.

"Oh, really? Does this mean you regret those days you skipped training?"

"Hey! I didn't skip it! I had to come here! Didn't you hear about the mega howler incident?!" This question had Harry and Ron direct an accusatory glare at her, much to Ginny, Fred, and George's confusion.

"I had to spend two days deaf! I swear, if I find out who sent that bloody thing…!"

"W-well! I-I am sure it was an accident!"

"Maybe- ah! Speaking of accidents, have you heard about Bode?" Hearing that her old acquaintance, Broderick Bode from the department of mysteries, was admitted to the ward for permanent spell damage, she promptly visited him.

"He… thinks he is a teapot?!"

"Don't lose hope! He has been showing signs of improvement!" A healer encouraged her.

"I only wish the Unspeakables would be more careful with their experiments!" She let out a heavy sigh.

"With so many workplace accidents, we should have a whole wing just for them!"

"These things happen almost daily?!" She wasn't prepared for the high level of risk in her future workplace.

"Great! After trains and bullets, I have to worry about brain damage from spells?!" This holiday was getting worse by the minute.

"T-Tanya?!" At this meek call, she turned to see Neville Longbottom, who happened to be visiting his parents with his grandmother.

"So this is the famous witch princess?" The old Mrs Longbottom was delighted to make her acquaintance. She had been wanting to express her sincere gratitude to Tanya for getting rid of one of the people who had tortured her son into insanity.

"You don't appear nearly as frightening as my grandson said…"

"G-gran!"

"… but is prettier than he mentioned!"

"GRAN!" They enjoyed a pleasant chat, with Augusta Longbottom and Tanya mainly trading embarrassing stories about Neville.

"… and he got permanently frightened of me over some pixies! Can you believe that?"

"Oh, do forgive him. My Neville hasn't got his father's bravery, I'm afraid to say. And on that note, you may find me impertinent for asking…" The moment Tanya knew would come had finally arrived.

"… is there any sort of ancient magic in your arsenal that could restore my son and his wife?" So far, Tanya had avoided laying her eyes on Frank and Alice Longbottom recalling how she almost ended up in such a state in the hands of Loria.

"Sorry, I believe they had brain damage and the Unforgivables can directly harm our mana core." Sadly, they had two sorts of irreversible impairments. Neither Neville nor his grandmother were discouraged by the news, as they hadn't held much hope to begin with.

A few days later, on the final day of recess, Mr. Weasley was discharged, having made a full recovery. Additionally, Professor Snape got in touch to provide an update on Voldemort.

"He was furious until I told him of your indirect participation in Nagini's death… he laughed the entire night." Hearing about Voldemort's merry Christmas left Tanya uneasy, and it stayed with her as she and her husband headed back to Hogwarts.

"Someone broke inside the headmaster's office on Christmas night!" McGonagall conveyed the information to her as soon as she entered the castle.

"… the culprit was careful to drop all the portraits down so they couldn't see who it was? Clever!"

"I didn't notice anything missing, even though all the drawers of the desk had been pulled out." Tanya wondered if McGonagall hadn't overlooked something. Also, she was afraid this could be an attempt to spy on their meetings.

"Do a complete search, make sure no listening spell was placed!"

"Understood, I will do it myself." The professor nodded and left for her task.

"Don't think she will finish today. What should I do for tomorrow's meeting?"

"Uhh… here we go… back to separate beds!" As usual, she had genuine concerns, whereas Harry focused on trivial matters…

"Don't worry, we still have our room in Hogsmeade." … and the worst part was that she couldn't brush them off.

"Besides, if it becomes too unbearable, w-we can use a b-broom-closet!"

"Wow! You are the best! I love you!"

"In any case, I am keeping an eye on Cho Chang!" It turned out to be unneeded as the girl, apparently embarrassed, had been avoiding Harry to the best of her abilities even during DA lessons. However, while one concern faded, another one surfaced.

For weeks Tanya was painfully aware of Umbridge's eyes following Harry with a calculating gaze. This had Tanya decide to never leave his side as long as she wasn't in a meeting for the order.

"Aff! I really don't want to resort to violence again!" Nonetheless, the members of the Order watching over Azkaban informed her of suspicious movements around the vicinity of the prison island. She definitely can't have more occupying her mind.

"No choice! I will give a final warning to Umbridge…!" That same day, Tanya cornered the woman alone in her office.

"What do you want with Harry?" When her initial shock wore off, the Professor smiled.

"My dear, it wasn't Mr Potter I wanted to see!" Tanya raised an eyebrow, her confusion growing as she saw the woman lock the room.

"For almost a month, I wanted to show you THIS!" Triumphantly, she took out a small cylindrical object.

"… and what is that?"

"Don't feign ignorance! This put outer was created to-"

"Put outer? Only Dumbledore has those, and his office was invaded on Christmas night!" Umbridge turned pale at Tanya's words, fully aware she had presented a valid reason to call for her dismissal.

"What a nice late Christmas present, ex-professor!"

"What a relief! I won't have to kill her!"

"You saw nothing, you petulant little bitch!" Fuming with anger, Umbridge activated the put outer.

"Wha- !" With horror, Tanya saw that, instead of releasing or pulling light, it generated an image of herself wearing a pink dress.

'Please… help me.'

"NOOOOOO!" Tanya threw herself into the far corner of the room, trying to distance herself as much as possible from this old nightmare.

'For a long time, I felt so cold…'

"NO! NO! NO! Nothing happened! NOTHING!" She desperately tried to remind herself, but the feelings of utter vulnerability remained as strong as ever. The same as on that fateful day…

"Hem, hem! I knew there had to be a reason for you passing out in the headmaster's office! Hem, hem!" Umbridge's silly cough seemed more like a laugh of mockery. With great pleasure, she explained how she used Christmas night to break into the headmaster's office, following a tip from Percy Weasley.

"… you should blame your husband! He told Weasley about the defective stone gargoyle!" The woman couldn't linger too much as the portraits would move to another frame to alert the invasion. She focused on the headmaster's desk and there, she found a well-hidden deluminator.

"… at first, I had my doubts this was how Dumbledore had been controlling you!"

'This is not caused by the blizzard outside, no…'

"STOP! PLEASE!"

"Of course, my dear. After I take you to the ministry, Cornelius is longing to have a little chat with you!"

'… because my innocent heart closed itself against warmth, fearing the soiling of man's touch, for far too long.'

"Before we leave, tell me how you strengthened your husband's magic. He can cast an exploding spell as if he is a seasoned auror!"

"I-it was… he just practiced!"

"Don't lie to me! Mere practice won't-"

'It was worth keeping my purity… to give to my rightful lifelong mate.'

"Wait a minute! Is this what is happening here?" She asked, pointing to her other self.

"I heard some legends, rubbish that INTERCOURSE could make your magic stronger…"

"!" Tanya trembled at the misunderstanding the woman had.

"This 'naughty play' is to make someone horny, right? Could it have been Dumbledore himself?! Did he use the imperius on you?"

'So please, take this freezing cold away with your blazing manly passion…'

"Even I… could get stronger if I use polyjuice to transform into a man!" The meaning behind her words was enough to cast Tanya into a new wave of despair.

'I beg you, my cute body is filled only with the desire to satisfy you…'

"Yes! Why give you to Fudge when I can be the minister-" There was a blast, sending the office door flying.

"TANYA!" At Harry's shout, she saw him rushing to her side with Professors Snape and McGonagall.

'… make me your dirty little girl… ravish me while I am still fresh.'

"Dolores! What are you doing?!"

"D-disciplining a student! Leave us- ah?" Startled at being caught in the act, she dropped the deluminator.

"That belongs to the headmaster, you thief!" With their wands aimed at Umbridge, the teachers encircled her as Harry went over to Tanya.

"You okay, Tanya? I am so glad you gave me a pager too!" Tanya buried her head on him, also glad she had the mind to activate her own device.

"Sob! Nothing happened! Why do I-"

'Please… help me.' Tanya trembled hard in Harry's embrace hearing her other self start from the beginning.

"AHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!" She begged, covering her ears.

"You don't have to ask twice!"

"Potter, don't!"

"BOMBARDA!" A massive explosion rang out, and she no longer heard her other self, yet she couldn't muster the courage to leave the safety of her husband's arms.

Before long, she found herself in the headmaster's office hearing the tired pleas for forgiveness from Dumbledore.

"I had my phony deluminator magically hidden in a drawer on my desk! I can't believe she found it!" The old man told them about the second weapon he had developed as a deterrent against Tanya. It was a modified deluminator (put-outer) that removes light sources around but instead of returning illumination, it reproduces a recording from the memory of the Boggart incident during her third year the headmaster had collected from Remus Lupin.

"… weak…"

"… I completely forgot to destroy it! Please, I beg your forgiveness!"

"Did you really forget, Professor?! Or were you thinking of using it someday?!" Rather than forgiveness, Harry angrily threw accusations at him.

"… so weak…"

"You are going to sack Umbridge, right?!"

"We can't because you destroyed the evidence, you dimwit!"

"And you almost obliterated her! What were you thinking, Potter?!"

"Humpf! I wish I had blown her…!"

"I am still weak…"And, amidst all the angry shouts, Tanya could hardly make out what was being said, rocking in her chair, holding her legs, and trembling in fear because her magic didn't return.

"Am I scared because Umbridge found out my weakness…?" Without delay, she must have one of the Order's members kill her.

"I can't have one single- !" She stared at her pager in horror. Once she activated it, the signal was sent to the entire Order of the Phoenix.

"Oh, no! They all must know my weakness!" It was too much for her; she rose from her seat and ran as fast as she could.

"Tanya?"

"Mrs Potter, where are you-" She ignored the calls. Her only thought was to escape, distancing herself as much as possible from everyone and everything.

Somehow, she got through the gates and was running outside the castle, into the night.

"Where… where have I gone wrong?!" With so many plans failing, she found herself questioning the reason behind it.

"Could I be incompetent?! Or maybe, it is because I was thinking of breaking the rules…?" In retrospect, she had planned to kill Umbridge… to commit a crime, to break both societal norms and the law.

"Tanya!" Taking a peek over her shoulders, she saw Harry rapidly catching up to her.

"Where are you going?"

"Away!"

"Away, where?"

"AWAY! From you, from this damned school, crazy teachers… just away!"

"Wait for me, I am going with you!"

"I don't want you to follow me!"

"Don't say that! You are my wife and I-"

"Consider this a divorce- AH!" The effect was immediate: with her intention of breaking their bond, their link was severed, and she collapsed, having no mana left to support her body.

"TANYA!" Harry swiftly caught her before she could hit the ground. Although, within moments of being in his arms, the link was restored and she was re-energized, it did little to lift her spirits.

"Sob! I can't… I can't even run away!" She wept over him, feeling as though all her freedoms had been stripped away.

"Freedom is something allowed to people who follow the rules!" This isn't superstition; it's simply a matter of cause and effect.

"Tanya, I am sorry! I failed you…! Professor Dumbledore is always busy, I should have made sure that piece of rubbish was destroyed as far back as the hearing!" Harry said this staring directly into her eyes.

"I love you, so give me another chance to protect you! I am your husband, it's my DUTY!"

"Duty… love… those are the rules of a marriage…" In a sense, Tanya had been breaking these rules, and perhaps this was why so many misfortunes had befallen her. Society does not forgive those who defy its norms.

"Yes… I am his wife… but have I been acting how a true wife should?" At least, this wasn't how the salaryman had imagined the woman of his dreams would behave. Throughout his life, he had always wished to marry a true Yamato Nadeshiko.

"Someone who would offer her body and soul to her husband… would share his pains and his happiness…"

"Y-you swear… you will protect me…?"

"Of course! You don't need to be so strong all the time! Rely on me too!" He answered strongly and gently, holding her hands.

"… why was I so against him…? He saved me… always cherishes me… gives me so much pleasure…!" She on the other hand barely gave him any credit, it was no wonder he tried to find solace with another girl.

"… could this be… how he will end up with Ginny…? He will finally tire of all my selfishness and leave me…?!"

"No…"

"Eh? No, what?"

"No…!" If Harry went to another girl, she would be forever a rule-breaker… a failure… an INCOMPETENT.

"No, no, no, no!"

"Tanya?! What is wrong?!"

"D-don't leave me, please!"

"Huh?! Tanya, I don't want to leave you! It's you who is trying to leave me, remember?"

"You don't need me! Should I go away, you will go to Ginny!"

"What are you talking about?! I love you! YOU!"

"… you promise? Sob!"

"Ah? Yes, so please don't cry-"

"Harry!" Tanya jumped on him…

"Whoa, Tanya- mmpphh!" … and kissed him passionately.

"This is so good!" Again, she wondered why she was so averse to sex. Besides her life depending on it, it was her obligation to pleasure her husband.

"And I feel so safe!" She vowed to do her utmost to turn into a PROPER WIFE.

"So… he will protect me… pleasure me… LOVE me always!"

"Harry, let's go to our room in Hogsmeade!"

"Can't it wait until tomorrow? It's late and-"

"Please! I want- NEED your love!" As he stared into her tearful eyes, she knew he wouldn't say no.

"Well, I guess we earned a few hours…" They would only part briefly for him to send a message, letting others know where they were going, and then… their late honeymoon began.


"Do you reckon Tanya was so bad that she and Harry had to spend two nights away?" Ron spoke to Hermione, while she simply ignored him, completely engrossed in reading three books simultaneously, determined to finish her homework.

"I told her this would happen!" It all began in the early morning with a distressed Professor McGonagall bringing their attention to an article in the newspaper.

'TRAGIC DEMISE OF MINISTRY OF MAGIC WORKER'. It reported the death of an Unspeakable named Broderick Bode, the same person Tanya had visited on Christmas Day.

Professor McGonagall believed he had been the target of a plot to steal the stone, similar to what happened with Sturgis Podmore.

'The Order must start an investigation but with Professor Dumbledore sick- I mean, absent, we need Mrs Potter to organize it!' Looking at Hermione, Ron recognized the gleam in her eyes, the same one he often saw in Harry before trouble started.

'I can fill in for Tanya!' Hermione essentially suggested taking on the role of a secretary, where she would make small decisions and pass on the major ones back to Tanya upon her return.

Ron objected, claiming she had too much on her plate with her OWLs and prefect duties. As usual, the girl dismissed his concerns with a shrug.

And a few hours later…

Hermione was yanking at her hair in frustration.

'It was chaos, I tell you! They were all talking at the same time! Everyone thinking their own opinion was better!' Then she started banging her head against a desk.

'For adults, they surely know how to behave like children! How Tanya can handle all of this on a daily basis is a mystery!' Ron refrained from saying 'told you so', instead he chose to remind her that their friends would soon be back and everything would be alright…

"Oh, how wrong I was!"

"I am done!" Hermione declared, much to Ron's relief since he needed help with his own homework.

"About what you said, tomorrow is Sunday, they should be back before night."

"I hope you are right! I lost an entire day without any training!"

However, on the next day…

"She did it again!" Ron screamed as soon as he met Hermione after dinner.

"Who did what?"

"Umbridge! She did the blood quill thing with Lee Jordan!"

"Oh, good."

"What the- You think this is good?!"

"No! Sorry… my mind is so full I can't even focus on my homework!" Ron suspected that the second meeting hadn't gone well either.

"And, I am sorry I couldn't go to the DA- was there any lesson without Harry?"

"Luna just reviewed some of Harry's lessons."

"Luna? She is the new teacher?"

"She learned some stuff too, remember? Acting as a bodyguard last year, when Tanya was selling autographs."

"Oh, great! I was afraid people would ask me to fill in for Harry too!"

"I don't reckon they will be back tonight… maybe tomorrow? Before classes begin?" They better be, before Luna decides to teach them about those Kacky Snorgle things of hers.

A whole week later…

"… Mundungus Fletcher can't be trusted around expensive artifacts… Tonks is too clumsy… can't have them on the stone watch…" Ron watched Hermione, with dark circles under her eyes, making notes about the Order's members to organize a schedule for them.

"She did mention the Order is short on people."

"Hey, I was thinking. Why don't we destroy the stone?"

"… Kingsley has his job as an auror to think of… Mr Weasley has training with the acromantulas…"

"Tanya told us the prophecy months ago, why leave it where you-know-who could steal?"

"… Moody is too aggressive with the suspects… Sturgis Podmore is resentful… can't have them on surveillance-"

"Hermione!" Ron shouted, irritated by how the girl had been ignoring him lately.

"Did you hear me?! I asked-"

"We can't destroy the stone! As long as it is there, we can predict the dark lord's moves and, eventually, make a trap to get him!"

"If that is the case, how about we-"

"Ron! If you don't mind, I need to finish this so I can begin my homework!" Without shifting her gaze, she pointed to a towering stack of notebooks.

"Bloody hell! Why do you have so much?!"

"… Professors McGonagall and Snape can't be away from Hogwarts…" She didn't respond, having gone back to her work.

"Hold it! Weren't you going to bring Harry and Tanya back this morning? You even skipped a class to- huh?" He was puzzled seeing Hermione suddenly hide her face behind her book.

"I-I tried! The moment I was about to knock on their door, I stepped inside the field of the imperturbable charm and… and…!" Hermione didn't need to finish her sentence; he knew how those two could be wild in bed.

"You lost your nerve hearing all the naughty sounds, didn't you?" He saw the bushy hair of hers sway in a nod.

"Can't you ask someone else to go there?"

"Are you offering yourself?"

"C-course not! In this case, it would be better for a girl to go!"

"And might I ask, who?!"

"How about Luna-"

"Luna?! Please! She is dying to see Tanya pregnant!"

"Right! How about Ginny?"

"Are you that heartless?! You know how she feels for Harry… it would be torture for the poor thing!"

Ron sighed.

"Well, they have been out for more than a week already! How long until they tire of shagging like rabbits…?"

One more week later…

"HERMIONE! Did you see the newspaper- Hermione?!"

"Hehehe! Loooook Ron… I fi-nally fini-shed all my ho-me-work!" She declared proudly, though she struggled to keep her eyes open, which were heavily circled and darker than ever.

"Aaaaand aaaaall it to-ok me was… YAWN, theentirenight! MWAHAHAHA!" Ron took a step back.

"Blimey! She lost it!" Maybe he shouldn't show her the piece of paper he was holding after all.

It took a few minutes (and lots of coffee) for her to regain some normality.

"Ahem! And you won't believe it! Yesterday I finally solved our main issue, the shortage of personnel!"

"Really? And what did you do?"

"It was in front of me the whole time! Why did Tanya place people watching over AZKABAN when they have guards?!"

"D-did you say… A-Azkaban?!"

"I immediately called them all off! Now we have enough people for all the other tasks!"

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"Everything should work out so long there isn't-" With shaken hands, Ron held up the latest issue of the Daily Prophet.

'MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN' The headline said. Ten dark wizards had escaped from prison, all former associates of Voldemort.

"…" Hermione was too stunned to say anything, with her left eye twitching wildly.

"I-it wasn't your fault! How would you guess this escape would happen-"

"Ron…"

"Y-yes?"

"Could you get me more coffee?"

"C-course, I can!"

"And while you are at it, would you be a dear and go get Hedwig for me? Please?"


Harry was in paradise, having spent the last two days immersed in making love with his wife. Of course, with breaks to use the loo, eat when hunger becomes too much, or sleep from sheer exhaustion.

Interestingly, Tanya would occasionally get exhausted, giving Harry brief chances to tenderly admire her adorable face as she slept.

"Ahh! The best weekend of my life!" Talk about a true honeymoon, with all his heart he wished he could stay in that room forever.

"Eh?" He was pulled from admiring his wife sleeping by a noise. Looking out the window, he saw his owl perched there.

"Hedwig? Why are you- Is that a howler?!" He instantly recognized the red letter. And before he had a chance to react, Hermione's voice came through it.

"HARRY! TANYA! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?! IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS!"

"What?! Two weeks?!" He assumed it had been two days since he recalled sleeping just twice.

"Ummm…? Hermione was here?" Unsurprisingly, Tanya woke up.

"Tanya, it's better if we- Oh-oh!" Another owl entered also bringing a howler.

"HARRY POTTER! COME BACK OR I WILL FIND ANOTHER SEEKER!" This turn, it was Angelina.

"Harry, come on! Let's go back to bed and… hihihi!" Dismissing the whole thing, Tanya started the usual foreplay.

"We can't! We have been here too long and- Oh, hell!" From outside the window, he saw about a dozen owls arriving, all bringing red letters…

He would only succeed in persuading Tanya to leave their 'love nest,' as she called it, by night. Back at his dormitory, Harry and Ron spent so long catching up that once they finished, it was too late to do anything but go to sleep.

"Ugh! My homework accumulated into a big pile!"

"Tomorrow we will go back to doing it together! I reckon Hermione will be more than happy to help!"

"I believe you! She was all in tears seeing us back!"

"Well, she went through some bad stuff and there was that breakout from Azkaban…" This genuinely made Harry concerned.

"The dementors must have allied themselves with Voldemort!"

"In any case, I am so glad you came back before the game against Hufflepuff!"

"So am I! I can't believe I lost track of time like that!"

"And about the howler, sorry! Hermione was going nuts and… she wasn't alone!" He mentioned Hermione had asked him to pick Hedwig up to send her howler. After Angelina saw this and did the same, Professor McGonagall followed suit, then Snape, and eventually all the DA students who were left forgotten.

"No, it's okay, if it wasn't for those howlers, right now I would be…!" He let out a grunt.

"What is wrong?"

"I am back to sleeping ALONE!"

"Let me get this straight: two weeks of doing nothing except SHAG… and you still want more?!"

"Get yourself a wife and you will understand!"

"No, thanks!" They got into bed and turned off the lights.

"Night, Harry."

"Good night Ron."

"Good night Harry, good night Ron."

""Good night, Tanya."" Harry adjusted in bed, hugging his wife in the small bed-

"Hang on… TANYA?!" In shock, Harry and Ron leaped out of their respective beds.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Why? I am your wife, silly! My place is in your bed!"

"Brilliant- I mean, we can't! Not with four other boys around!"

"It's fine! I took care so we won't be disturbed, I only left Ron out because you told me he is a heavy sleeper."

"What are you-"

"H-HARRY! Look at what she did to the others!" Ron pulled open the curtains of the other four-poster beds to reveal Neville, Dean, and Seamus, all bound and gagged.

"H-how could you do this?!"

"Yes, Ron! Why did you open the curtains?" His wife didn't notice the question was directed at her.

"Do you expect me and Harry to make love with four other boys watching?!"

"Tanya! That isn't the problem here!"

"It isn't…? So, you want them to watch us?!"

"Eh?"

"W-well… if this is your wish…"

"!" To hear his wife saying she would permit others to witness their intimacy turned out to be the final straw for him. Rudely, he told her to leave.

"Alright, I will be a proper wife and wait until my husband is in the mood…" Harry would later realize this was the first hint that something was gravely wrong with her.

But the following day, the events of the previous night vanished entirely from Harry's mind as he walked onto the pitch for the game and heard the Slytherins once more chanting 'Weasley is our king,'.

"Damn it! Ron won't be able to take much!" In moments like these, he wished he hadn't promised to seal the ability to track mana during games.

"Maybe instead of thinking for an excuse to cheat, I should-"

'Today, we have a guest commentator! Your Highness, Tanya Potter!'

'Hello, everyone! Harry's devoted wife is here!' Harry almost fell off his broom, not so much because of the announcement…

"What is with the cute childish tone in her voice?!" On second thought, her voice had sounded exactly the same during the days they spent in their room in Hogsmeade.

"… while we were making non-stop love!" Harry smiled, immersed in memories of the best period of his life, so much he didn't see the Bludger until it was inches from his face.

"UGH!" Although his quick reflexes saved him, he still felt it graze his left cheek.

"Stupid! This is what I deserve for daydreaming-"

'Harry, darling, please be careful with the bludgers!' Again, he almost fell off his broom.

"'Darling'?! And since when Tanya is worried about bludgers?!" After all, during his training, she had thrown much worse at him.

'There is no need to be concerned, any damage we can fix afterward.' Professor McGonagall assured over the speaker.

'You sure? What if he is hit 'down' there?'

"Eh?"

'How can I perform my wife's duties if 'it' won't work?!' Suddenly, the entire pitch was silent, even the Slytherin's song came to an abrupt end.

'Did Harry ever have any trouble in this matter?'

'Jordan!'

'Sorry, professor! I am curious!'

'Oh, I don't mind you asking!' Tanya replied.

'And no, Harry never had any problem, quite the contrary, every time, he works quite hard!'

'Could this be to compensate for something?'

'Jordan!'

'Oh no, by what the other girls told me, Harry has a very big one!'

'Er, how big?'

'JORDAN!'

'It's okay, Professor, and Harry is THIS big.' Apparently Tanya showed a size with her hands as no one else outside their stand could see.

'MERLIN'S BEARD! Harry, mate, I am so jealous!' Harry wanted to run back to the ground, dig a hole, and hide his head there so much was his embarrassment.

'Hehehe! I know, isn't my husband the best?!'

'The best, you say? Come on, he has to have one or two flaws!'

'Well, if I have to criticize something… is how he keeps this 'falcon play' in bed, and says I am his 'delicious prey'.'

'H-h-hold on! Harry gets excited pretending to be a bird?! Pffff!' Harry covered his face in shame as the entire pitch erupted in laughter.

'W-well, his fetishes apart, aren't you afraid he may cheat on you- professor, aren't you going to interrupt me?'

'…' Their head of house remained silent, neither approving nor disapproving, which made Harry think she was interested in the gossip.

'Then, with your permission, Tanya, aren't you afraid the other girls may try to steal Harry from you?'

'Actually, there was a girl that tried… and he almost gave in to her!'

"GAH!" Immediately, some of the female attendants began to throw things at Harry.

"I kinda deserve this- Argh!" He was thrown far as Cedric Diggory bumped into him.

"Oh? You were there? Sorry, Potter… that you are such a jerk!"

"Why are you- EEKK!" He dodge a bludger as it was about to hit him, he could see it had come from the direction of a female beater from the Hufflepuff team.

'… don't think badly of Harry! It is normal for a healthy boy to seek as many girls as he can!' At this, it seemed that the contempt from the stands doubled. Harry knew he was in big trouble as Angelina deliberately sacrificed a point to try to hit him with the quaffle.

'Hum… perhaps, being a good wife, I should put together a harem for him…?' Feeling a huge wave of killing intent directed at him, Harry decided to break his promise and use his detection skill to track the snitch…

"Hurry! Before I am lynched! Maybe by my own house or team…!"

Moments later, with the match out of the way, Harry pulled his wife for a talk.

"Two-timer!"

"Jerk!"

"Cheating scum!"

"Pervert!" However, it was hard to find a place where people wouldn't shower him with insults. In the end, he took her to the room of requirements for some privacy.

"Tanya! What was- why are you taking your clothes off?!"

"Huh? Wasn't this why you wanted a place for privacy?"

"NO! I wanted to ask you: what the hell with those comments?!" People despised him so much there were no cheers or congratulations after the victory. Not even from his team.

"I was merely advertising my wonderful husband!"

"You were?! Didn't you see that now everyone thinks I am a jerk?!"

"Successful people always have those who envy them! Pay no mind, we are bound to have a few girls interested in entering your harem!"

"What in heaven's name are you talking about?! Forgot I can't cheat on you?!"

"This is not cheating, besides, I am merely recruiting for today!" Seeing the honest smile on his wife's face led Harry to believe that something was terribly wrong with her.

"I am taking you to the hospital wing-"

"Harry!" The doors opened and Hermione rushed to them.

"Hermione, I am so glad you are here! Help me with-" He was cut short when Hermione grabbed him by the neck.

"What sort of sordid life have you been putting Tanya through?! What is this talk of finding you a harem?!" His friend was so enraged she shook him while tightening her grip on his neck.

"I knew Tanya shouldn't have forgiven your little escapade with Cho Chang!"

"Ack! L-let me explain!"

"You enemy of all women! Tanya, you didn't go to the Order's meeting this morning because the JERK here made you-"

"Sob! I am sorry!" The two turned their shocked faces to the sight of his wife crying.

"I am sorry for being a bad wife! Please, don't abandon me! I will do better! Sob!" The shock was so great for Hermione, that she dropped Harry.


A 'nervous breakdown' was Madam Pomfrey's diagnosis. Umbridge's attack was more serious than they gave credit. Tanya was left in a state of vulnerability worse than the one from two years ago.

"You will have to handle Mrs Potter with extreme patience! There is no need to rush, she should come back to her senses eventually!"

Hermione handled the explanations to the DA, advising him to not tell them everything.

"We'll simply state she's overstressed about the OWLs, and people should accept it since it happens often enough…" The most important part was to not let Tanya's weakness become widely known.

"Right…"

"Oh, and Harry… I don't want to hear more talks about harems! Is that clear?!"

"I didn't- Ahhh! Fine!"

It began a heavy probation for Harry…

"Sob! You don't love me anymore!" … as the formerly strong Tanya would dissolve into tears over the smallest details…

"HAAARRRYYY! I want chocolate! Can I have some?" … besides her constant childish behavior.

"Aff! Nowadays, it seems I am raising a spoiled brat instead of being married!" At least Hermione was right, and their explanation was convincing. Some even apologized for their earlier misjudgments of Harry. Unluckily, there was one single person who was able to figure the truth out…

Umbridge managed to avoid dismissal since Harry had destroyed the evidence of her wrongdoing, and she carried on teaching as if nothing had happened.

"And here I was thinking how much I hated her before…!" The sight of his wife trembling in fear during Defense Against the Dark Arts class made Harry utterly despise Umbridge, more than he ever hated Snape or Malfoy. Then, one day, when she tried to force Tanya to stay after class, Harry 'accidentally' blew up her desk with the Exploding Charm she so feared. He hadn't carved the words on her but he was sure she wouldn't forget so soon his warning.

Aside from DADA, Potions was the sole class Tanya didn't act normally. She would break down at the slightest hint of conflict between him and Snape, leading the Professor to begrudgingly give him passable grades.

"Well, one bright side!" Or so he thought… one day, Tanya in an attempt to have Harry and Snape turn friends, gave a bombastic revelation.

"Severus and your mother were pretty close! Maybe if things were different, he could have been your father!" This was met with horror by both Harry and his second most detested teacher.

"P-please! I am begging, sir! Tell me you two didn't go too far!" For his mental health's sake, he has to believe they were, at the very most, two good friends.

Snape had no chance to answer as they were interrupted by a commotion at the entrance of the castle. Trelawney finally got sacked and Dumbledore arrived to save her before she was thrown out by Umbridge.

Harry understood his reasons: Trelawney had made the prophecy about him and Voldemort, and a few concerning Tanya. Dumbledore wanted her to stay in case she had another important prediction.

Next, much to Umbridge's shock, the headmaster introduced his new Divination teacher: the centaur Firenze.

Harry was initially filled with great expectations for his next Divination class, he couldn't guess all he would get was more concerns…

"Harry Potter? Is that really you?" Firenze reacted oddly to Harry, gazing at him as though he couldn't see him clearly.

"The stars above you, they are radically different! Your destiny suffered a drastic change!" It must have been a serious matter, as the centaur scrutinized Harry from head to toe for several minutes before turning to Tanya with an even more amazed expression.

"And your wife! There are no glimpses in the skies about her at all! It is as if she doesn't exist or isn't a natural part of this world!" For a moment, Harry pondered the comment before recalling Tanya's unique circumstances.

"Twice, Tanya traveled between two distant worlds!" Indeed, she wasn't meant to be there, and the changes Firenze observed in him must have been due to her.

"I have heard rumors about Harry Potter marrying a witch goddess, one who could challenge death…! Apparently, destiny is no match for her as well!" From the way he spoke, Harry could sense a trace of fear in his voice.

"A word of advice, don't let any other centaur know about her! You yourself should avoid them!" This led Harry to realize that he was fearful for both his and Tanya's well-being.

"My herd in particular wouldn't care if you are 'foals', they aren't tolerant of the unknown!" Upon hearing they had gained a new potential enemy, Harry wished with all his heart for Tanya to recover quickly.

However, April arrived, and she stayed the same. In fact, the only person who had a change of mind was Seamus.

"My mother agrees that the Daily Prophet isn't adding up." Harry was pleased to welcome a new member of Dumbledore's Army following his sincere apology.

Seamus also apologized for assuming Tanya had been forced. He explained how Harry's decision to stay with her, despite her previous actions of humiliating him and turning people on him during the last game, was proof of his true love for her.

"Princess or not, if I was in your shoes, I would have ditched her!" Nevertheless, Seamus was just one individual among many still swayed by the Daily Prophet. Although Fudge lost some credibility due to his inability to provide a satisfactory explanation for the Death Eaters' escape from Azkaban, he suggested they had been aided by someone with experience…

"The gall of that sod Fudge!" Sirius was enraged by the insinuation and expressed his anger to the Order during a meeting.

"So what if Bellatrix Lestrange is my cousin?! I would never help that crazy bitch!"

"Err, calm down, Sirius…!" Harry tried to appease his godfather but was at a loss for how to manage it.

"And what the hell am I doing here?!" He thought, scanning the flaming heads at the enlarged fireplace.

All he wanted was to lend Hermione a hand with the Order after Ron mentioned how the pressure of covering for Tanya had been too much for her.

"Ugh! This is too much for me too!" The meeting continued with Tonks relaying the Ministry's threat, that either Sirius would lift the Fidelius so the Aurors could search the house, or they would remove the Charm themselves.

"It was a bluff." Hermione shook her head.

"Bureaucracy is on our side, it will take months to create a legal case to forcefully remove a defensive spell."

"The way things are going, Tanya will need this much time!"

In the follow-up, Kingsley reported that Broderick Bode had been seen with Lucius Malfoy before his 'accident', which supported the theory of his death being related to a failed plan to infiltrate the Department of Mysteries.

"We need to hit the Death Eaters' homes! Get ahead of them, make the first move!" The meeting deteriorated with Moody's bold proposal.

"I agree! The other day, that wand maker, Cephalopos went missing! Disappearances are starting to happen like in the dark days!"

"Don't say rubbish! If we start invading the pure blood's houses, the ministry will label us criminals if not insurgents!"

"We have to, at least, do something about the dementors!"

"We wouldn't be in this bleeding mess if a certain GIRL hadn't gone and ordered the lookouts to be pulled from Azkaban!"

"Humpf! Different from you, Dung, she was brave to try something…!"

"Oh, boy…" With considerable effort, the two teens succeeded in persuading everyone to hold off a little longer.

"Blimey, you weren't kidding when you said they could be- what are you doing Hermione?!"Harry caught Hermione knitting hats for house-elves.

"I-I am not trying to free them! This merely helps me relax a bit!"

"If Tanya was alright, you won't even dream about it!" And, regrettably, Daphne Greengrass would later reveal that his friend wasn't alone in reverting to old bad habits.

"The Inquisitorial what?!"

"The Inquisitorial Squad is a group Umbridge is putting together to ensure educational decrees are followed to the letter." Harry was struck by a wave of despair…

Voldemort and his most loyal Death Eaters from Azkaban, the Ministry, the Daily Prophet, the Dementors, the centaurs, and now the Slytherins were coming together to bring down the DA.

"It is as if we are surrounded on all sides!"

"Potter! We need the princess as she was before!"

"Tell me something I don't know!"

"Don't play stupid! I am willing to cut a deal with you!"

"Huh? A deal?"

"Yes! I-I will j-join your harem!"

"WHAT?!"

"ME, not my sister! I will become your submissive lover instead of the princess, just make her herself again!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Her Highness changed overnight! She is clearly a victim of a powerful spell…!" Harry listened, irritated, as Daphne accused him of having Dumbledore brainwash Tanya to turn her into an obedient wife.

"… I can't completely blame you! S-seeing the things she did to Umbridge, I would be afraid of sleeping in the same bed as her!" He took comfort in the fact that she, unlike Hermione, gave him the opportunity to explain.

"This was Umbridge's doing?! Oh, no! We are all doomed!" Watching the Slytherin in despair, Harry wondered why she hadn't joined her housemates in their Inquisitorial Squad. Also, he recalled her words from months ago.

"Daphne, you really want Tanya to beat Voldemort… why?"

"Because…! I refuse to die as that snake's minion!" The girl hesitated for a moment but then opened up to him. Full of sadness, Daphne revealed to Harry about the curse on the women of her family.

Several generations ago, in retaliation against the Greengrass family, the current matriarch was struck with a 'blood malediction,' a curse meant to plague all her female descendants. It manifests once the victim reaches adulthood, she would begin to weaken progressively until it ultimately claimed her life.

"The last one to die from it was my great-aunt, my father's sisters didn't have it… and it rarely jumps more than two generations." In other words, there was a great chance she and her sister could die from it.

"You reckon Tanya might have some secret spell to save you two?"

"No! I already lost hope to find a cure… all I want is for me and my sister to live in peace…" Unfortunately, there was nothing Harry could say to make her feel better.


Finally, Harry taught the eagerly awaited lesson on the Patronus Charm.

"Expecto Patronum!" Seeing all the silver mist creatures flying around, had him quite pleased.

"Harry, I can't make it work! Sob!" This was the one thing about Tanya that hadn't changed: her complete inability to cast a Patronus.

"It's okay, you have so many spells at your disposal! It won't make any difference not having one."

"Uhh… but I wanted to cast a patronus… one matching yours!"

"A matching patronus? What is that?"

"Giggle! I heard that a patronus can take the same form as the one cast by your love!" She covered her flushed cheeks while saying this.

"Didn't you see how Ginny's patronus is a falcon exactly like yours?"

"T-Tanya?! What are you saying?!"

"Please, Ginny! Everyone knows you are in love with Harry!" This had Ginny turn crimson with embarrassment.

"Tanya, don't say things people may misunderstand!"

"What misunderstanding? History has already decided she is going to have your BABY one of these days!"

""""WHAT?!"""" Immediately Harry was surrounded by Ron, Fred, George, and Michael Corner.

"Harry, mate… what did Tanya mean by that?!" Ron asked with the most menacing tone he could ever remember him having.

"I-I dunno!"

"Was our dear sister the one who tempted you the other day?!"

"Maybe the princess caught you two doing the sort of prank you should never do?!"

The familiar good-natured expressions Fred and George usually had were nowhere to be seen.

"I told you, fellas! Tanya isn't herself lately! Forget that harem talk?"

The three siblings looked at him with suspicion hanging in their features.

"Don't give rubbish excuses, Harry!" Michael pushed the Weasleys out of his way to say his piece.

"Keep your hands on your wife and leave my GIRLFRIEND alone!"

"""Wait… WHAT?!""" Faster than when they were all over Harry, the Weasley brothers turned to the Ravenclaw, intending to have a 'talk' with him.

Harry sighed heavily, deciding to focus on assisting his wife before she created more problems for someone else…

"Expecto Patronum! See? Incantations won't work with me! Sniffle!" He couldn't help feeling a twinge of annoyance.

"Ah! I have an idea! I came closer to casting a patronus with the help of that love potion-"

"""DON'T YOU DARE!""" Harry, Hermione, and Ron shouted simultaneously.

"Don't be meanies! I didn't say I was going to use it! Sob!"

"Alright, alright! We are sorry! You don't need to cry!"

"Sniffle! I was about to say, on that night, instead of thinking about a memory, I focused on something I wanted."

"Hum… you could try doing the same. Without the help from a love potion, of course!"

"I will try, darling!"

"'Darling', again?! Oh, I miss so much the good old Tanya kicking my arse- ah?" Magic was starting to gather at the tip of her wand.

"Hey, fellas!" Seamus called out.

"I think the princess is getting it right!" All the members of the DA watched intently as Tanya's Patronus began to take shape.

"It's something long!"

"Could it be a serpent?"

"No, it has limbs, see?"

"Funny… wasn't it supposed to be silver mist? Why it's red- !" Harry's eyes widened in shock as the realization hit him.

"It's not a Patronus! It's FIENDFYRE! EVERYONE RUN!" The moment Harry shouted, the Fiendfyre morphed into a dragon and scorched nearly the entire room. Although no one was hurt, it was by a hair's breadth.

"Tehehe! Sorry, my mistake!" Her cute laugh actually only intensified Harry's irritation.

"… for the record, what were your happy thoughts?"

"The same as with the dementors! That I wanted them gone so we would be alone and… hihihi, be as intimate as we want!"

"Okay…! CLASS DISMISSED!"At last, Harry's patience had run out. He waited for all the others to leave before turning to his wife.

He wished he could let Tanya recover on her own, but time was not on their side. He had observed that their enemies were growing in number, while the Order of the Phoenix was struggling without a strong leader.

"Tanya, I want- DON'T TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!"

"You are no fun…" She pouted.

"Tanya, please, I need you!"

"Huh?! You just rejected me!"

"What? No! What I am saying is that I need you back in your old shape!"

"Eh? Are you insinuating I am fat?!"

He facepalmed himself as she checked her belly.

"Sorry! I promise to take it easy with the chocolates from now on!"

"No… you can eat as many chocolates as you want-"

"Y-you are not leaving me because I gained a few grams, are you?! Sob!" And Tanya was back crying.

"I…! Really can't stand it!" If this experience taught Harry anything, it was that he didn't like girls who cried too much.

"STOP CRYING! Please, go back to the strong Tanya I love so dearly!"

"I don't know what you mean… this is me! Your cute, obedient, and submissive wife…" Harry took comfort in seeing her wiping her tears.

"I am your 'Yamato Nadeshiko'! Someone who will answer any of your demands!"

"Why?! Where did you get the idea I wanted you this way?!"

"You don't have to… this is my duty as specified by the RULES of matrimony!" Harry blinked at the emphasis she placed on the word 'rules'.

"Is this what is going on here? Her fixation on rules?!" If that were true, it might also be the key to fixing her. Exactly as Tanya when things don't go her way, he must look for 'loopholes'.

"Tanya, I have an ORDER for you!"

"Yes, darling?"

"Go back to your former self!" He felt proud of his quick thinking…

"… fine! I will cut the chocolates and go on a diet!"

"Diet?! No! I want you back to how you were before-" He halted mid-sentence, worried that mentioning 'before Umbridge' might trigger her past traumas.

"Err… go back… ah! Go back to how you were before we married!" He grinned in triumph as his wife widened her eyes and… began to cry?

"W-what are you saying?! Are you asking for a divorce?! Sob!"

"What?! No!" The taste of defeat was only worse with a girl crying in front of him.

"Sob! Don't leave me! Sob! I told you I will do anything you want! Sob!"

"A-all I want is for you to be happy- ARGH! Stop crying for BEING X's sake!"

"!" At his words, Tanya gave a jump, her tears vanished and she assumed the serious face he hadn't seen for months.

"What did you say?!"

"'I want you to be happy'?"

"No! After that!"

"Being X?" She nodded her head.

"I never told you the strange dream I had?"

AN: Once again, the chapter has become too lengthy, even after cutting some parts. I can't shake the feeling that I rushed through some sections…

Regarding pagers, they were devices used before cell phones became common.

I regret having to cut the Christmas night at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. I had planned for Tanya and Sirius to share some humorous moments while being dead drunk. However, I might be able to include this scene later if Tanya or Harry revisits that night using a Pensieve.

Just to clarify, the concept of a true yamato nadeshiko is often open to interpretation. Nowadays, it can even represent a strong and independent Japanese woman. The salaryman was interested in this more modern interpretation. Tanya, in her mental breakdown, distorted her own perception and tried to embody both the traditional and modern versions, hoping Harry wouldn't trade her for Ginny, Cho, or any other girl.

It wasn't just Tanya's training that ensured Arthur Weasley's survival. Since Nagini isn't a Horcrux, she wasn't as powerful as in the original.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the space (or the reason) for Harry to have Occlumency lessons with Snape. It wouldn't make sense since Harry can no longer see what Voldemort is doing after losing the Horcrux in his scar.

Thank you very much for the reviews. As always, keep them coming if you want more chapters of this story.

Next chapter: There is a new high inquisitor in Hogwarts and she is gonna raise hell.