Chapter 46: Already Over

When Russia finally made it back to the apartment he sat on the sofa and watched TV, it was all about the opening of the borders. As he stared blankly at the screen he began to lose himself in thoughts of what this all meant.

Even if Prussia did come back, he was never going to come back to his house now was he? Not when the border wasn't much of a border anymore and he could hop it anytime.

Then there was his Boss and the logistics of it all. His boss had not gotten on with the head of the DDR's government the last few years, thanks to the more reformist attitude of this current boss. His boss might even order him to send Gilbert to live in the DDR thanks to said attitude. He had been pushing towards that option, to less control.

And of course there was one last possible outcome, the one Ivan feared the most, this dissolution of the DDR into a unified Germany. Gilbert had survived being technically not a country back in the mid 30's - 40's, yet even back then the question of his mortality loomed overhead and what if it was a fluke he didn't die then?

Ivan couldn't bear to sit there and watch him die powerless to help him. No way Ivan could convince his current boss to 'acquire' new territory and make another satellite state with Gilbert as the embodiment in a hopeless plea to keep him alive for just a few decades longer.

It wasn't fair to him that of the 100s of years they had known each other, that he would only get to love him for 40 and now he was stuck at a crossroads. Let Prussia go and keep the memory of what they had or hang on to him and risk the Prussian hating him or god forbid watching him waste away before his very eyes.

'This is going to hurt no matter what, isn't it?' Ivan cried as he curled up into a ball on the sofa.

No doubt his worst fear would happen and Germany would eventually reunite. The people clearly wanted it and Gilbert would no doubt rather live with his brother than him. The fact that he was so willing for this wall to come down even if it sealed his death proved it. No matter how much he loved the Prussian or how much the Prussian claimed to love him back, he loved his brother much more.

'I was foolish to think I could keep him. I just love him so much it's not fair!' Ivan sobbed loudly as he crushed the TV remote in his hand, breaking it.

'I HATE YOU ALL! FUCK YOU! I JUST WANTED HIM TO BE MINE AND YOU HUMAN ASSHOLES WILL NOT LET ME HAVE HIM!' Ivan screeched as he angrily ran over to the TV and kicked it to pieces.

'It's over… it's over…' Ivan said pained, as he fell to the floor.

It was time to end it all, no point in dragging out the inevitable; it would only hurt more. No matter what happened he was losing Gilbert. Grabbing a pen and paper he wrote a goodbye note to the Prussian, left some money to make up for the shattered TV and his red scarf from his bag so Gilbert had something to remember him by.

Finally he wiped away his tears as he grabbed his bag, stuffing his uniform from the table into it and left for the airport. Luckily he managed to get on a flight with some other people who, seeing the way the tide was going, were fleeing into the USSR. Ivan watched as the plane took off and Berlin grew smaller and smaller. Trying his hardest not to cry the entire time.


Gilbert got back around 7 am and parked up his car. He stumbled up the stairs and to his apartment.

'Probably best to get Vanya to drive me to the meeting. I am exhausted and drunk.' Gilbert smiled as he opened the door.

The apparent was pitch black, assuming the Russian was asleep he flicked on the light, surprised to see his TV smashed up.

'Vanya? You here?' Gilbert called out worried.

Gilbert had expected the Russian to happily call out his name as always or run into the living room and hug him so tight it actually broke his ribs.

'VANYA?!' He yelled again, now panicking slightly as he shut the door behind him.

Something wasn't right, where was he? No way he was asleep at this time, that asshole always got up early. Gilbert began looking frantically around the apartment calling his name, hoping he only didn't answer because he was passed out drunk but found him nowhere. That is when he noticed the money, scarf and envelope on the counter. Pushing the money aside he ripped the letter out the envelope and began reading it.

'Gilbert,

Thank you for the last 44 years. I was so happy. However I know how this is going to end. You are going to leave and live with your brother and that's fine. I want you to be happy. Maybe one day you will come running back but until then I think this is over.

Even if our Bosses allow us to meet up after this, and I doubt it, I am always going to be here alone without you most of the time so I would rather just end it here and enjoy the memory of what we once had.

Please don't call me, don't come to my house, don't write to me, just leave me alone. I am not strong enough to have you with me and it will hurt too much.

Enjoy being with your brother again and please don't die or fade away if you can. Maybe one day I can fix it so we can live together again. Until then know I will love you forever. I left the scarf so you have something to remember me by. I will send your stuff by mail. If I forget anything just phone Lithuania and ask him to send it to you.

- Vanya'

Gilbert watched as teardrops fell on the paper he was reading.

'Asshole… asshole… why would you… I love you damn it… We could have made it work… Please…' Gilbert sobbed as he fell to the floor.

'You could have tried… you made me promise to come back… so why would you leave… I should have made you promise to be here… I didn't think… gott…' Gilbert muttered as he put his face in his hands.

It was pathetic. Here he was, crying on his kitchen floor over fucking creep Russia of all people. He hated it but at the same time couldn't care less.

Ivan had been the first person who didn't just end it with him after 6 months. The first person who Gilbert genuinely considered a true partner but now he had been tossed aside by him so suddenly and it hurt so much.

Worst part he couldn't tell if the Russian had genuinely loved him and though letting him go like this was some sort of fucked up kindness, a self defense mechanism, or if the Russian only loved him while he could control him.

Gilbert lay there for hours holding the scarf close as he cried trying to take in as much of the Russians scent from the scarf as he could before it eventually would fade.

He didn't care about the fucking meeting and skipped it. They never needed him before and they didn't now. He didn't even have it in him to put on a brave face, his heart was shattered.

He had finally got it, freedom to see his brother, to be by his side. Why did he have to lose Vanya in the process? Why couldn't that block head just believe he actually loved him enough to not ditch him now he was free to see his brother, why could he not just have both? Did the world just hate him that much? Had he pissed off god that much?

Eventually he got the energy to get up, wrapping the scarf around his neck and packing a bag. He went back to his car and waited in the line to cross back over the border. He just wanted his brother right now. He just needed someone to comfort him, someone he could trust. Ludwig was the only person he had left in this world he could trust like that now Russia had run off.

Pulling it up on the driveway he was grateful to see only a black Audi parked there. It meant the Italian was likely not there, he didn't want anyone seeing him like this right now. Hell he didn't even want Germany to see him like this at all, he hated it but he needed the comfort more than his pride.

Knocking on the door he tried his hardest to stop the tears flowing again but as soon as he saw his brother's face they soon fell.

'Brother?' Ludwig said worriedly.

Gilbert just ran into the Germans arms and he sobbed into his shoulder, his legs giving way as he did, forcing the German to hold him up as he cried.

'He fucking… he fucking… he left me West… he left… he didn't say goodbye…' Gilbert sobbed.

'Let's just get you inside.' Ludwig sighed as he dragged the Prussian inside and shut the door.

He had no idea what Gilbert was even upset about but he couldn't care less. His brother never cried like this, it was so rare. Like he could count on one hand how many times his brother had broken down like this in his entire life.

Getting him to the sofa Ludwig just held him as he continued to cry heavily into his shoulder.

'What even happened brother? Please tell me.' Ludwig said seriously.

'He… he left me… Did he even love me… Was I an idiot…' Gilbert sobbed.

'Who left you?' Ludwig asked, confused.

He didn't even know the other had a partner, then again it's not like they ever had much time to chat properly in the last few decades. This also seemed odd to Ludwig, he had seen Gilbert get dumped before and he would never be this down trodden. Clearly this relationship meant a lot to his brother.

Gilbert just pulled the screwed up note out his pocket and dropped in on the others lap. Ludwig kept one arm around his brother, opened the note and read it.

'Wait, you were dating Russia?!' Ludwig said, shocked.

'Yeah…' Gilbert sighed.

'Since when?!' Ludwig could feel his blood boiling.

Not only did that asshole steal his brother away from him but he somehow got him to date him and then broke his heart. That fucker, the less sensible part of Ludwig wanted to drive right to the assholes house and beat him until he died, wait for him to revive and do it again, over and over, one for every single tear his brother cried.

'Technically… 1942… he helped me survive Stalingrad… fed me… helped me escape and… things happened… then when the war ended… we went steady…' Gilbert whispered.

'He didn't trick you into it, did he?' Ludwig growled.

'No! No!' Gilbert pulled away.

'It was my idea, I made all the first moves, it's just… I guess he didn't love me back as much as I thought…' Gilbert looked away shamefully.

'Fuck him then. His loss. Don't let him get to you. He's not worth it.' Ludwig growled.

No one upset his brother like that. His brother was so strong so to make him cry like that was seriously fucked up. He wanted to murder him even though he knew he couldn't. At least Gilbert was safe with him now, that fucker could never and would never hurt him again. Ludwig swore it.