A/N: Welcome to my latest fanfic! Like I said in the description, this is both a sequel to my previous four Deadpool fanfics, and a spinoff of "Mario's Galactic Tale," which introduced the Purpleforce Council. I'll give a quick summary of where we last saw all the characters just in case you've missed some of the previous fanfics.

Deadpool and the Guardians, after defeating the Sentinel-Dalek alliance threatening the multiverse in "Deadpool: Guardians of the Multiverse: The Continuation," showed up in Chapter 62 of "Mario's Galactic Tale" to help deal with a collision between several universes that was taking place there. Harley Quinn left the Guardians (and is now headlining another MGTU spinoff titled "Harley's Angels"), whereas the others headed back to their extra-multiversal base in the Citadel at the End of Time.

In more recent chapters of "Mario's Galactic Tale," I introduced another multiversal group called the Purpleforce Council that inhabits a location called the Purpleforce Domain that links many locations throughout the multiverse and contains an energy source called the Purpleforce. The Council intervened after Sam the Star Bunny, one of Mario's enemies from that fic, stole the Purpleforce and used it against Mario. The Council apprehended Sam and took him back to the prison in the Purpleforce Domain.

If you're new to this shared universe and want to get a better sense of what's going on in it, I recently posted another story titled "Mario's Galactic Tale Universe: The Road So Far" that summarizes everything that's happened so far, I hope that'll help :)

Also, as you'll see, I've retconned some stuff about Loki S2 in here because my Deadpool-verse of fanfics featuring Loki started before S2 came out, and some of the stuff I established in previous fanfics doesn't match up with what's happened in S2. Please don't hate me for it lol.

Without further ado, please read, review, and enjoy!

I do not own any of the characters in this fanfic.


THE CITADEL AT THE END OF TIME – DECEMBER 20, 2026

Once we were all seated around the conference table in the Citadel at the End of Time, Sylvie cleared her throat and folded her hands on the table. "Thank you all for coming," she said. "I know it's the middle of the holiday season in the Sacred Timeline, and I hate to disturb you all, but there is a…pressing matter that's come to my attention."

"Ah, no problem," the Doctor said. "What's Christmas without a timey-wimey, world-ending crisis to attend to?"

Oh, hello there, reader. It's me, Deadpool, regaling you once more with tales of my multiversal misadventures. Oh, and thanks for making the Deadpool and Asshole trailer the most-viewed trailer in history. 365.5 million views in 24 hours. Suck it, Spidey. I think we can now put the whole "Who's the world's most popular superhero?" debate to bed once and for all.

This morning I was back in Deadpool Tower wrapping up my Christmas present for Vanessa-

Oh, what's that you ask, dear reader? How am I back with Vanessa since you thought she died? Did I hear that right?

Well, turns out her Earth-616 variant is still alive, so I've decided to go the Peter Quill route and strike up a romance - or, at least, attempt to - with an alternate-universe variant of my deceased former love interest.

So anyway, yes, wrapping up Vanessa's Christmas present when a TemPad portal opened next to me and out walked Sylvie, doing her best "I'm here to summon you, we need your help" Nick Fury impression. It had been about two years since our last major group mission, when we headed to Earth-6488 to stop that "multi-incursion," as Sylvie's been calling it, from destroying Cranky Mario's universe. I guess it was about time for another one. Of course, I'm not counting the false alarm last year when Sylvie learned that The Batman Who Laughs was once again plotting to take over the multiverse and assembled us all to stop him, only for us to head to his universe just as the Watcher's Guardians of the Multiverse finished taking care of the him themselves.

This mission (assuming it was, in fact, a legit mission this time) just wouldn't be the same without Harley there to back me up when an argument inevitably arose with Sylvie and/or Magik. I've checked in on Harley a couple times, and she seems to be doing pretty well for herself in Earth-6488. And that's all you're getting out of me on that front. Spoilers, and all that.

Sylvie looked around the table at us. "I'll get right to it. For those of you who don't know, over the past several months, I've kept in contact with the reformed TVA. They're currently devoting their resources to hunting down He Who Remains variants across the multiverse and pruning the troublesome ones before they can potentially start another Multiversal War. I've given them some information, helped them track certain variants, but now B-15 needs our help to actually go after one of them."

"Who's B-15?" Rose asked.

"The current leader of the TVA," Sylvie replied. "Mobius retired to the Sacred Timeline a while ago, and B-15 took his place as their leader. But right now the TVA's Minutemen are spread desperately thin with all the variants they're tracking down, so she asked us to personally hunt down one that got away from them on Earth-1218. And…this He Who Remains variant might be the strangest one I've heard of from the TVA."

I cocked my head. "Everything's comparative. What exactly are we stacking this variant up against here?"

Sylvie pointed at me. "I knew you were going to ask that exact question, so I prepared a list for you to take your pick from. There's Kangaroo the Conqueror from Earth-8311, an anthropomorphic marsupial who stole a time machine from the Fantastic Fur and tried to take over the entire timestream. He Who Remains' Earth-227243 variant, one of many named Kang, was a living doll who became famous for the song 'I'm Just Kang.' And on Earth-688 he's a wrestler who goes by the ring name Wham Bam Kang-a-Lang, and whose nexus event was killing – supposedly by accident – fellow wrestler El Muerto during a match. Satisfied?"

Hmm. I'm not sure Wham Bam Kang-a-Lang was actually the bad guy he might've seemed to be. If you asked me, it was more likely he was just trying to take down the SSU (Sony's Shitty Universe) from the inside. In which case, respect, dude. Sorry the TVA pruned you.

I kept this all to myself, though. "And while I'm asking questions, are you sure the TVA only asked us for help? That they didn't maybe phone, oh, I don't know, the Watcher first, and we're meeting here for nothing?"

Sylvie groaned. "Wade, would you please stop giving me a hard time about the whole Batman Who Laughs thing? I get you were looking forward to fighting him. We all were. But as far as I know, the TVA is not in communication with the Watcher, and they only asked us for help."

Well, we'll see about that, now won't we? I reluctantly nodded. "Proceed."

Sylvie continued, "As I was saying, this He Who Remains variant is particularly strange because his method of disguising who he really is, is literally by pretending to be himself."

"What?" Rose asked.

Sylvie placed a circular device on the table and pressed a button on top of it. An orange hologram arose from it, showing some dude's mugshot.

Wait a minute, I knew who that dude was. And...Earth-1218. Yep, that lined up. Well, this just got a f##k of a lot crazier.

"Behold, Earth-1218's resident He Who Remains variant," Sylvie said, "alias Jonathan Majors."

F##king called it.

Loki jumped in. "He's disguised himself as an early 21st-century actor, who has played He Who Remains and several other variants of him in a franchise called the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is a more-or-less accurate retelling of superhero-related events that have transpired in the Sacred Timeline. I emphasize more or less because, based on the quick research I did, the second season of their show about me is very inaccurate. I mean, come on. A Temporal Loom? What sort of nonsense was that?"

"Wait," Magik said, "so he's a variant of He Who Remains whose cover is that he's...playing other variants of He Who Remains in these movies?"

"Why do I feel like this is just the tip of the mind#$%&ery iceberg we're gonna be subjected to on this mission?" I asked.

Loki continued, "In 2023, he was arrested and charged with assault and harassment. He pled not guilty, but was convicted. B-15 located him and sent a TVA squad after him before he could be sentenced, figuring it would be easier to apprehend him before he was possibly imprisoned. But Majors managed to overpower and prune the Minutemen, steal one of their TemPads, and escape to another universe. The TVA tracked his M-Rip Energy signature to Earth-85, but given how short-handed they are right now hunting down countless other variants, B-15 asked us to take care of this case personally."

"And is there any reason he would go to Earth-85 in particular?" I asked. "Anything we should know about that place before we go there?"

"As far as I can tell, it was a random jump," Sylvie said. "It seemed like he was just trying to get out of Earth-1218 as fast as possible. But Earth-85 could be...problematic. In that timeline, basically every fairy tale that's ever existed in the Sacred Timeline is real, meaning it's brimming with magic that Majors could potentially harness and use against us."

"The largest jurisdiction on Earth-85 is a kingdom called Auradon," Loki told us. "I figure our first step, then, should be to go there and try to appeal to the reigning monarchs, King Ben and Queen Mal, to try to get their help tracking down Majors. Their world is no stranger to...bizarre occurrences, so I would think the odds of them believing and assisting us are fairly good."

Oh for f##k's sake, were we seriously about to be chasing down Jonathan Majors through the Descendants universe? Yep, toldja the mindf##kery iceberg was gonna go a lot deeper.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Magik said. "Let's go there and find this variant."

Sylvie nodded and pulled a TemPad from her cloak. She fiddled with the controls, and a glowing orange Timedoor opened next to her.

To quote basically every character from Star Wars, at one point or another: I have a bad feeling about this.


A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed it so far. Also, let me know if there's any other realities in particular you want to see show up at some point and I'm sure I can work them in, given how absurd this fanfic is going to be.