"Maker's mercy my ass," I grumbled, watching the heavy downpour saturate the Chantry's courtyard. Dozens of small puddles were forming just off the porch where we shared space with other refugees trying to pile under the meager cover.
Leliana shuffled up to the edge, securing the last buckle of her wrist guard. She had retrieved a surprisingly nice set of armor from the Chantry storage. It was an inky black, studded leather that highlighted her hair much more than the robes. "I know how you feel but… the gravesarestill fresh," she said somberly.
That uncomfortable doubt crept back into my chest. A farmer, his wife, and two children had been slain. Alistair said the Grey Wardens have the right of it but… had it been my clan mates I would have done anything to make sure he never walked free again. And here I am trying to free someone who cut downchildren. But the man I met in the cage…
The Revered Mother had been adamant on her refusal. Only when Leliana vouched for us, did the old bat agree to release him to our custody. But only at sunrise and we were ordered to leave with him immediately. She had claimed the risk of him killing again was too great. But she doesn't grasp the risk if we lose.
And that's the crux of it. Perhaps moralities are to be overlooked when extinction is at your back. But what does that say about the survivors?
"But you must admit it's a little cruel to leave him there for the darkspawn," Alistair said, scratching at his growing cheek stubble. "I think I'd prefer the noose." He was leaned against one of the pillars to the Chantry, rain streaking against the edge of his armored shoulder as he made room on the porch for a young girl rocking a sleeping toddler against her chest.
I almost agreed but bit my lip when my parents' killers came to mind. Or I guess I should say father's killer. Mother could be in one of these refugee tents for all I know.
I'd like to think a younger me would have chosen justice and had him executed. But after this past month… Creators has it only been a month? The thought of growing callous to killing burned in my stomach.
A gust of wind blew the rain momentarily against my exposed thighs and I jerked back at the sudden cold. "I hope Banal'ras doesn't track mud in the tent."
"Ugh, wet dog smell. The only fault I have with Ferelden," Leliana scrunched her nose. "Dahlia, I understand those are probably traditional elvish leathers and Ilovehow it shows off that beautiful stomach of yours," I crossed my arms over my midsection insecurely at the glance she cast, "but wouldn't a set like mine be more... defensive?"
"I'd rather spend that gold on necessities." In truth I'd love nothing more than to buy some new leathers and clothes. I'd even packed my winter leathers to Ostagar but those are currently miles deep behind the darkspawn lines. "Even if I looked, I doubt I'd find anything here that would fit."
"We should be able to cover a tunic if you're not too picky on quality," Alistair stated, counting under his breath.
"We need to spend that on food to last the trip," I iterated tiredly. "Especially with two more companions and one's the size of two humans."
"Oh, I'm sure Leliana could join you on your hunts. Or take turns?" He suggested.
"You said that was illegal," I reminded, not quite eager to piss off more human lords than those already looking to kill us.
"Did I?," he feigned. "Well, they're not going to track downeverypoacher given there's a war on."
"So, why have we been eating at…" I scrutinized that small uptick to the corner of his mouth and I could feel the twitch in my eyebrow. I reach my open hand across Leliana toward Alistair, "Give it."
"Give what?" he asked dumbly.
I squeezed forward to snatch the meager pouch at his waist, but he shifted out of reach, nearly slipping off the porch, "Alistair, we can't be frivolous just for some cheap cheese and ale!"
He chuckled hand still gripping the edge of the pillar to right himself, "You'll thank me when we're back to eating…" Alistair froze in place, face falling in a flash.
My heart sank feeling the sickening chill work its way up the nape of my neck.
A chill and tension that hadnothingto do with the sudden rain. Neither of us dared breath as we looked at each other, hoping the other would deny what we both felt.
"No," I whispered, and we both snapped our attentions to the south as lightening cracked. "Leliana. Go tell the Knight Commander to send whatever knights he has to the southern refugee tents. Then come find us."
Alistair dropped off the porch and began marching his way through the mud, already drawing his sword.
"What's wrong?" she asked nervously.
"Darkspawn," I gritted between clenched teeth, hoping the rain covered my voice from the people around us. Leliana's jaw dropped and I turned to drop off the porch myself. "Go!" I barked over my shoulder, running to catch up to Alistair across the courtyard.
We were pelted by the fat droplets as we jogged our way to the edge of town, the rain plastering my hair around my neck. I almost slipped a few times trying to keep up to his stupid human strides around fences and buildings. We followed the pull near the edge of the southern fields, not too far from where we encountered the bandits and we stepped off the road.
I drew my dar'misu glancing at the tents behind us. Those who did not have cover, watched us from where they huddled together in the mud. Turning back, I scanned along the edges of wheat before us, desperately trying to catch the first signs of movement. I wanted to warn the refugees. I wanted them as far away as possible, but causing a panic now might set them right into danger.
"There!" Alistair whispered harshly, readying his sword and shield. Ahead of us, the wheat began to rustle then part as dark silhouettes emerged. I bit my cheek as I counted five, six, eight… too many for just the two of us. And I don't have my bow. Taking a shaking breath, I crouched into stance and felt the pull of still tender muscles from our fight this morning but pointedly chose to ignore the tremor in my hands as a side effect of the rain.
Five genlock, one with a spikey head dress near the middle. Three hurlock. No mages. We faced each other with weapons at the ready, no doubt the darkspawn knewexactlywho we were.
The tension was cut when a woman screeched behind us and the headdress genlock roared in return.
The darkspawn leapt to action. We split to attend to separate sides. I met a hurlock halfway. I timed to avoid his heavy swing, ducking and twisting past his guard, and nearly losing my footing in the mud just before sinking my right blade in his back.
Before I could free my dar'misu I was already throwing up my left to parry a blow from one of the genlock. Jerking my blade free, I parried one, two more pairs of swings from the dual wielding genlock.
Before I could continue forward, a flash of steel on my right and I spun away from a hard swing landing in the mud where I just was. The hurlock advanced, dragging its broadsword up from the mud. I launched myself forward and past him, narrowly dodging his sword but coming face to face with the genlock once again.
Another parry and I found my opportunity to sink a blade into its flat face.
An arrow whizzed right past my head, sending a cold shock of fear through me before I registered the thump behind me. Looking back, I saw the hurlock splayed out in the mud with an arrow imbedded in its neck.
Turning back, Leliana's red-haired figure was easily spotted near the road, poised with her bow. She hesitated on loosing more arrows into the throng where Alistair engaged with two more hurlocks and a genlock. A templar ran into the fray.
I ran forward to flank the genlock at Alistair's side, successfully slicing the back of its neck open.
Alistair and the hurlock's swords clashed again.
I began sidestepping to flank the hurlock, but it caught my movements and turned to roar its threat. Alistair took his chance and rushed the hurlock, I stepped further out of their way as he drove the hurlock backward.
The goosebumps at the back of my neck pricked up almost painfully and I turned around to be met by the headdress genlock swiping a spiked maul at me. I tried to jump back but my heel slipped and the maul drug across my right side. I felt my skin ripping with a searing pain as I fell.
I landed ungracefully in the mud and metal clashed above me. I looked up to see the templar had thrown his shield into the genlock.
I pushed myself up to my knees despite the burning in my right side, but the templar had already decapitated the genlock.
I watched the genlock fall soundly and, as quickly as it came, the taint released its hold letting me know the threat has disappeared. Maybe a scouting party. But this far already?
Taking a few shaky breaths, I dared myself to look. The skin was opened jaggedly across my last rib in two shallow gashes. Blood mixed with the rain where it trailed and pooled at my belt.
My mind swam and for a moment the field spun around me.
Just slight panic. It's okay. I'm okay. I closed my eyes to focus on the slow patter of rain around me. And the heavy boots sloshing quickly in my direction.
"Dahlia!" Alistair yelled, a clear panic in his voice.
"I'm fine! I'm alright," I replied, hoping he didn't notice the waver in my voice. I opened my eyes against the grey sky, finding the sun already trying to fight its way through the clouds.
His shield landed with a thud behind me as his armored hand fell to my right shoulder, a shock of pain flaring in the gashes and I hissed against his other hand coming to grasp my upper arm, "You need attention."
I lamely attempted to remove his hand, "Stop.Stop!" I snapped, levelling his frantic eyes with a stern glare of my own. He stalled. "It's not deep. Just let me catch my breath," I panted.
His brow furrowed but he reluctantly released me and knelt beside me, pinching the bridge of his nose. Alistair wasn't too bad. He gained a bruise to his left jaw that would likely grow to reach the bust he already had on his lip.
Creators, how many close calls did I just slide away from today? "Still think I impressed Duncan? I think it was the Keeper that twisted his arm," I panted trying to offload my weight from my twinging left knee without further disturbing my right side. Apparently, it twisted during the fight.
He snorted and looked up to the surrounding field, "I don't know. Running headfirst into a group of darkspawn? I'd recruit you."
"I just stabbed them with the pointy end," Iquipped as I secured my dar'misus back to my belt
He laughed breathily, sheathing his own sword.
"The legends are true?" Leliana marveled, coming to stand before us, "Wardens can sense these beasts before they show."
I nodded. Back towards the tents and buildings further up the road, refugees and villagers alike began to trickle closer to the spectacle.
The Knight Commander approached the edge of the crowd and removed his helmet to begin shouting warnings to them. Alistair shot back to his feet, "Stop! Don't touch them." He instructed the other templar where he inspected a fallen darkspawn, "Leave them till you can burn them."
I poked at the swelling edge of the top gash and took a sharp inhale at how much more painful they've gotten. "You jinxed me," I joked, Leliana blinked off guard, obviously not remembering our earlier conversation. "Thanks for not taking your time. Creators, I need to start packing my bow through."
"You're an archer?" she asked, extending a hand. "Then why do you use those swords?
I gingerly hauled myself up with her help. My left knee smarting with full weight, "Can't leave Alistair alone at the front, can I?"
A look of understanding and concern dawned on her, likely of why I had been eager about having Sten.
The knight commander, drenched and haggard himself, approached and bowed, "Warden, we cannot thank you enough. Though I fear what this means."
I let go of Leliana's arm to stand straight before him. "This seems to be a scouting party. Though I can't say for sure, I don't think the horde will be descending tonight," I told him quietly. It was clear the refugees and townspeople were hanging onto every word as some inched closer to where we stood.
He nodded with a weariness weighing down his features, "Of course. If I may, we do have a couple spare cots in the barracks. They're yours should you desire."
Oh? Changed our tone after seeing darkspawn, eh? "No, thank-"
"Thank you, Commander," Leliana interrupted loudly, stepping between us. "We appreciate the Chantry's hospitality. We'll head there straight away."
The Commander bowed his head again and walked off to address his other Templar. I set Leliana with a glare, "No."
"Yes," she said simply, slipping the linen cowl she had draped around her shoulders off before bundling it and pressing it to my ribs with no warning or hesitation. I gasped and spasmed against the hold her other hand had on my elbow but was too tense to finish pulling away.
I blew out a sharp breath, that absolutely wasnota whine, and growled at the redhead, "Fenedhis, Leliana!"
"Do you have any more potions?" Alistair asked, suddenly appeared beside us.
I mumbled a negative, continuing to glare at the humans. Alistair, however, didn't notice as he was apparently only looking to Leliana who shook her head, "Let's get out of the rain first, yes?"
.
.
.
Despite my earlier protests, I collapsed backward onto the cot and closed my eyes at the relief of finally lying down. Even though it was just a thin mat padding the wooden board, I could feel my energy sapping at a record pace. I could easily fall asleep just like this; legs still swung over the side and my right hand lightly holding the cowl to my side.
Leliana had shooed Alistair away at the courtyard gate to go catch up Morrigan on the evening's events. He initially put up multiple complaints and excuses but gave up when I asked him to retrieve my satchel, citing my stash of tinctures I left behind.
"It seems Sten may have to wait a little longer," Leliana began as she peeled away my hand and the cowl, the cloth pulling painfully at small, already-dried sections.
"Nuh uh," I mumbled. "We leave in the morning."
"My Warden-" she began bringing a wet cloth to dab along the unmarred skin first.
"Dahlia," I corrected.
"Dahlia," she began again exasperatedly. "I don't believe that would be wise."
"-s not that bad. 'm just tired," I said, unable to keep the slur from my voice.
I'm sure she rebutted something, but I was already sinking into unconsciousness.
Rudley, I was ripped from the sweet oblivion to an increasingly familiar scene. Morrigan stood above me, glaring ruthlessly at Alistair where he sat upon another cot unarmored, arms crossed and a teasing, bruised smirk thrown back at the witch.
Worry flashed through me at Morrigan being inside the Chantry like this, but I was firmly pulled back under without a second thought.
My sleep was unencumbered at first, but the nightmare flashes began once again. Red eyes, cold-dead white eyes, and blood in dirty blonde hair until I was back on that tavern floor straddling a soldier with terrified, blue eyes. Except this time pain shot under my ribs on my right side. Looking down, the soldier had an axe sunk into my side. He jerked it loose, and blood began pouring out onto the armor below me. I watched in horror and pain as the wound widened and my insides began slipping-
I awoke disoriented in a cold sweat, gasping against the burning in my lungs, and my hand flew to my linen wrapped midsection.
Banal'ras whined above me, his light fur coming into focus through the darkness that engulfed the room. The meager moonlight illuminating his almond eyes. Oh, my face is wet. I reach my shaking hand to one of his ears in thanks.
I laid my head back exhaustedly, feeling sleep pulling at the back of my lids once more but a flash of fear drug me back. Two sets of blue eyes waiting for me just on the other side of consciousness.
Slowly I pushed myself into a sitting position, untangling myself from the scratchy blanket to find I had been changed into the overly long, human tunic and leggings Flemeth gave me. My cheeks warmed at the thought of being changed like an invalid while I was out.
The muscles in my hips, thighs, and back much more sore than I'd felt in years as I attempted to straighten past them.
Banal'ras sat down before me and cocked his head with a barely audible whine. I shushed him with a finger to my lips and looked about the room.
Anxiously I realized we weren't alone. Two unknown humans slept in cots on the far side of the room below the open windows, moonlight filtering in just above their frames.
Across from me, Alistair laid flat on his cot, sleeping soundlessly with one hand behind his neck and the other dangling off the side. Leliana was unmistakably curled atop the cot to my left, in her own scratchy blanket given the red hair spilling out from her cocoon. To my right, our bags, armor, and weapons were piled against the wall.
Banal'ras settled his heavy head upon my right knee with another whine. Overwhelming exhaustion and frustration clamped around my throat and burned at my eyes. My breathing was becoming louder as I tried to catch my breath and I feared someone waking up and witnessing the mess I was quickly becoming.
I nudged Banal'ras away and stood, left knee stiffly protesting against the weight. I pulled the blanket with me, wrapping it about my shoulders before slipping out of the room and down the hallway to the main chamber.
The candles were lit high above, bathing the arching stone and tarnished brass fixtures in shadows and an otherworldly atmosphere. The statues and paintings played tricks in the shadows and the sensation of being watched was near unbearable.
I continued my barefoot shuffle through the chapel, Banal'ras following quietly behind. Humans were strewn throughout and between the pews, most asleep but a few were seated with heads bowed. Thankfully none paid me any mind.
Making it outside I breathed in deep the cool night air. Despite the underlying smell of rot, the fresh air hit my lungs like a balm and my nerves fizzled out. I let my head fall back against the brick face. A breeze blew and lifted the ends of my loose hair to flutter across my shoulders.
Searching the sky, I longed for the torches to be extinguished so at least the stars could shine in this pitiful town.
"I find those walls quite suffocating as well," Morrigan's unusually subdued voice remarked from my side and I jumped, having had no clue any other person was even standing on this porch let alone right beside me.
"Never in my life would I have thought I'd be sleeping under a Chantry roof," I replied quietly back, still shaking away the recent onslaught of nerves. "The Creators have an odd sense of humor."
She hummed affirmatively where I expected some snide remark about religions.
I looked over to her questioningly though she ignored me, golden eyes tracking something unseen along the hillside. Her hair was neatly tied back and looking none the worse for wear. "Are you sure it's safe for you to be this close to…?" I gestured to her staff and that at the building at my back.
She smirked finally looking my way with eyes and voice alit in amusement, "After the show you and that oaf put on? They wouldn't dare." She remarked haughtily, chin jutting slightly forward, "Not that they would have succeeded anyway."
A show, huh? No one died. Perhaps it was a bit of luck but it felt weird to wield such things in front of the humans just to gain some respect from them.
"I've freed our companion," she stated simply. My head whipped up to her. "It's clear you and that, Alistair," she said his name like spitting out something slimy, "need an extra sword on the field. And I meant what I said. If you've no use for him he should be set free. Not left like a meal on a platter for the darkspawn." She squared her shoulders and looked back to me, a defiant glint in her eye.
A couldn't help but smile. "Thank you." She scoffed and turned back to studying whatever her golden eyes could track past the Chantry wall. "Where is he now?"
"At the campsite. I've procured armor and a broadsword from the Chantry's stores," Morrigan uncrossed her arms and made to walk away.
"Hey," she stopped, quirking an eyebrow at my call. I stalled for an embarrasing moment. Truthfully, I just didn't want to be alone just yet. "Where do you disappear to at night? Isn't it safer to sleep nearby?"
She sneered familiarly though the glare held less heat than previously, "Do not worry about my sleep. Worry about yours. You'll be of no use against the Archdemon half asleep and crippled." She snapped her back to me again and disappeared into the shadow near the corner of the building.
I guess that's one way to do it. Little by little, this witch has shown her compassion despite her sharp tongue. She on defense at most interactions, but I don't think she knows how soft she shows herself in those moments when it's just us. Like a wild animal she's bite first and investigate later.
I closed my eyes again and leaned back against the Chantry wall, allowing my mind to drift while the night air continued to play against my face. Maybe I'd sleep better out here on this porch amongst these refugees. I think I'll definitely rest easier without the guilt that a companion is spending the night upright in a cage.
My eyes snapped open at the sound of a particularly loud sneeze across the courtyard. A child was stationed like a lone sentry near the opening of the courtyard walls. What in the Creators is he doing standing in the mud like that.
When he sneezed again, I walked off the porch and began padding carefully through the mud. Another breeze blew and the child scrunched his arms tighter to his chest. Under the yellow torch light, the boy's freckled face and strawberry blonde mop of hair came into view. His dark eyes widened upon noticing my approach.
"Shouldn't you be inside, da'len?" I asked, accidentally slipping back into elvish phrases in my exhaustion.
He curled his hands further beneath his armpits and pouted his bottom lip, "I'm waiting for mother. You can't make me leave. She told me to stay here."
I looked around worriedly, peaking at the sky. There was no change along the black edges to the east and the humans on the porch were still sleeping soundly. "Surely, your mother wouldn't want you waiting in the cold mud. Let's sit inside, yeah?"
"No," he whined. "She's coming. She said she would be right behind me."
A knot was slowly twisting in stomach, "When did you last see her?"
The boy's chin quivered and he continued in a small voice, "This morning." This-Yesterdaymorning? "Monsters came up to the barn and she told me to run to the Chantry. That she was going to be right behind me. Where hasn't she come for me, yet?"
His questions grasped painfully at my own chest and tears pricked behind my eyes. I slipped the blanket off my shoulders and bundled the boy in it and he went to wiping his nose on the collar. I knelt before him and rubbed his shoulders, "I don't think she's coming."
"Why?" he asked, voice cracking. "Why would she leave me?"
Creators damn it all. I took a shaky breath, "I don't think she meant to leave you."
He sniffled into the cloak, "I want to go home."
That singular statement stabbed me right in the heart and a hot tear escaped down my cheek. I brushed his wild bangs from his face and cupped his cheek, "The monsters-," I cleared my throat, "They poison the ground. They'll make you sick if you go back. Your mother wanted you safe, so she sent you here."
The boy began to sob and leaned into my arms, pressing his wet face to my shoulder. I hugged him close, petting the back of his head.
He knew. He just wanted someone to tell him different.
Behind him the full moon began to dip below the Chantry roof, bathing the courtyard in further darkness.
This boy, brave little boy, just watched his home and family taken by the darkspawn and remained on watch even after he surely heard about the attack at the southern road.
I remembered the look Fenarel had given me when I walked past those first darkspawn corpses and straight into the bowels of the ruins. I was scared but nothing could have kept me from the answers I needed.
In the end I never got my closure. And neither will this child. It's a viscous pattern the Blight will inflict everywhere it spreads. Another Tamlen, another mother, and another army until there's nothing left.
And here I am losing my mind over defending myself from a bandit and a traitor's soldier. Duncan said we're the only ones who can stop this nightmare. So, I'll do what I must until this is over. For this child. For Tamlen, Alistair, and everyone else this damnable Blight has tried to destroy.
"Your mother wouldn't want you standing in the mud. Let's go inside, okay?" I whispered to him, and he wiped at his face.
With a renewed resolve, I ignored my aches and scooped him up in my arms. I shifted him toward my left hip and wiped his face with my sleeve.
I walked carefully, and slowly, back to the porch and slipped back inside. I found us a small open space near a supply closet and sat against the wall with him till he slipped off to sleep, his head in my lap and my left arm draped around his.
Banal'ras, ever vigilant and silent as his namesake took guard at my muddy feet. This time, no nightmares disturbed my sleep.
