Welp, hello world! This is my first fanfiction, so please be nice to me (or I'll cry). I'll try to give trigger warnings before the chapters, but this story is pretty dark overall, fair warning. The first few chapters cover Ruhi's past, and they are pretty intense, but when we get on track with the present, it gets much lighter!
Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, as long as it remains respectful! And I'll try to correct any grammatical errors I see, but keep in mind my native tongue is French, so please don't come at me too hard in the comments for reversing words in my sentences ;)
Happy reading xx
TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Death, implied physical abuse as well as some semi-explicit, mostly in the beginning!
"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer."
Albert Camus
Eleven years ago
A storm was raging, cold and hungry for destruction. It was one of the worst the rural village of Rosen had experienced yet. Inside a wooden cottage, on top of an isolated hill, a green- eyed young woman could hear the winds rattling violently. As the lights flickered over her head, Sorcha Anamnaí glanced at the sleeping two-year-old child in her arms. Ruhi's pink cheeks and slight furrow helped to warm a bit of the frost over her heart, however, the mother knew this feeling wouldn't last.This... This is it...Sorcha's thoughts cut off abruptly; a necessity to avoid breaking down. She didn't have time for any weakness.
Mustering courage, Sorcha quickly looked back up towards the austere woman in front of her, a bubble of anxiety squeezing her gut. Outside seemed almost as inviting as the hostile look her sister-in-law was giving her.
However, her desperation outweighed her hesitation.
"Please Magra, you must take her. She risks getting sick if she stays with me. I don't have much longer..." Sorcha pleaded, her face twisting in distress, but this only caused the other woman to become even more enraged. Magra's dark eyes pierced through Sorcha, her lips pulling over her teeth.
"You dare ask this of me, Witch, after stealing my brother from the righteous path of God? It's because of your evil that sickness was brought upon us all! He died because of you!" She spat with venom; trembling fingers crossed into a tight knot over her knees. In response, the red-headed younger woman clenched her teeth, her eyes tearing up in frustration.
When Sorcha had informed Magra of the news a few days ago, it had been a disaster. The young woman had left the house running, curses and objects being thrown at her by her crying sister-in-law. She knew Magra thought all this mess to be her work. She was an outsider with a strange appearance and an even stranger ability, but this was only the work of nature. She had only hoped – foolishly so – that the woman would have reacted differently, because Sorcha had no other choice.
She couldn't leave town. The sickness was eating at her with a worrying fervor, just like it had eaten her lover and others of the village. Going by the symptoms she had and those she had seen on other infected, Sorcha had maybe a day or two left to live, then her child would be left for dead on the side of the road as well. There was no way she was taking a chance on that. With a sigh, Sorcha straightened out in her seat, her worried gaze falling towards Ruhi once more, one thumb absentmindedly caressing her plump cheek.
The last option was to leave her child at the Church's orphanage, but the woman couldn't bear to do that. She knew what sometimes happened to little kids there. Plus, I won't have my child experience the same poverty I did. She thought fiercely, remembering her own experience in an orphanage.
The tense silence between the two continued as Sorcha looked down at her daughter with a hard press in her lips. She had already seen that Ruhi had the same gift as her. Even though her blood was mixed with Jabari's, the appearance of her eyes - pupils and irises blown wide like a feline - was a dead giveaway. Sorcha knew that living with Magra would be hard, but she thought it would be better than the other alternatives. And besides, this won't be forever. I'll ask Isa to take Ruhi. For her to travel here, it'll take a few months. Sorcha mused, nodding to herself. Feeling a rush of determination, the freckled redhead looked up again into the dark eyes of her sister-in-law, so alike those of her husband. Her heart ached at the thought.
"Please," she implored in a whisper, eyes fiercer now. "I know you loathe me, but Ruhi is just an innocent child. Your niece! I will arrange for someone else to come pick her up in a few months, so... Please !" Sorcha whispered hoarsely, and Magra's face became troubled. She looked down at the sleeping baby, whose brown curls reminded her of her brother when he had been at that age, and her eyes softened slightly.
After their parents' death, Marga had been the one to take care of Jabari. All on her own. At that time, her bitterness and anger were promptly swept in a dark corner of her mind, left to fester for later. She had barely been an adult, not knowing what to do, but thankfully, Father Yusef had helped her greatly. He was the reason she was as devoted to the church as she was now.
Though she knew those times were far behind, Magra couldn't help but be reminded of sweeter times as she looked at Ruhi's rosy cheeks. Memories of holding Jabari's soft, warm baby body against hers, the powdery smell of his skin filling her senses, making her sleepy in contentment... Those moments were all fresh beneath her eyelids. It made her heart ache.
Even more so knowing her Jabari was rotting six feet underground.
A still silence hung around the room until Magra suddenly nodded begrudgingly. She could do a few months of babysitting. She received the little girl in her arms, and as Ruhi's weight settled against her chest, the older woman shared a look with Sorcha. Distrust and fear were still present, but an understanding had eased her somewhat. For Jabari.
Sat in a matching leather armchair in front of them, Sorcha looked at Magra holding her baby, and an overwhelming relief rushed through her. She's safe now. The thought almost sent her weakened body tumbling to the ground, but the force of her will – or sheer pride - made her endure. She didn't want to appear any more vulnerable in front of Magra.
Thanking the brown-haired woman deeply, who dismissed her half-heartedly, Sorcha glanced one last time at Ruhi with glistening eyes. Clenching her jaw, the younger female stood up with slight difficulty and promptly left the wooden living room, disappearing around the corner of the hallway. Walking down it, one hand touching the walls for support, Sorcha eventually made it back to the doorway and wobbly sat down on the bench next to the coat rack.
As she tugged her shoes closer to her, her hands began twitching uncontrollably now that Ruhi couldn't weigh them down anymore, and Sorcha frowned when she noticed this. She half-assedly put her soggy boots back on and without missing a beat, stepped outside the stifling house.
Once the crisp air nipped at her cheeks, Sorcha let out a shaky breath, gaze looking up. Far away in front of her, down the hill she stood on overlooking Rosen, the red-haired woman saw sunrays piercing through dark gray clouds. Her somber eyes trailed over the warm, golden beams stretching down to touch the river separating their village from York New City, creating beautiful sparkling spots. However, the sight didn't rouse any of the giddiness it usually brought her.
Her heart had died, engulfing within its void any thread of joy she could ever feel again.
Taking a first step down the stairs, Sorcha jolted as she heard her baby start to cry from inside Magra's home, and her eyes flushed with tears. Fighting every instinct in her body, the mother hurriedly walked away from the doorstep, a choked sob being swept away in the cold wind. She rubbed a trembling hand under her nose, a knot forming in her throat as flashes of loving brown eyes - appearing amber in the sunlight – and gentle words invaded her mind, making her breath stutter.
"Take care of Ruhi for me. I love you, and... I'm sorry. I'll be breaking our promise." A rough hand, curved by years of hard work, caressed her cheek. Sorcha looked down at Jabari's pained expression, robotically wiping his sweaty forehead. She gulped, avoiding his warm gaze, but at the stubborn push of his finger against her cheek, Sorcha's lips wobbled, and she slowly met Jabari's brown eyes, the capillaries in them busted. Relief eased his chiseled features, and a gentle, fond grin lifted the corner of his lips.
Sorcha's strong mask cracked as she saw dimples crease his stubbled cheeks; a sight she loved dearly. A pained grimace twisted her face, tears leaking from her eyes, and she shook her head. She'd promised herself she wouldn't cry. She had to be strong for him so that he wouldn't worry.
"No-" Sorcha whispered stubbornly, taking hold of his shaking hand. She knew it was coming soon, but she couldn't let go of him. They had just started their lives together.
"Let's meet again." Jabari told her quietly, his arm suddenly tensing in her hold as intense coughs wracked his body. Sorcha cried out his name, eyes widening in horror when blood coloured his teeth and the front of his cream-coloured shirt, but she could only watch powerlessly as his heart finally gave out in front of her. His body could only fight for so long without the proper medicine, and unfortunately, no one knew what was causing these symptoms.
With a shaky voice, Sorcha began singing to him, his last request to her. As the freckled woman's smooth voice filled the room, Jabari's face eased down somewhat, his coughs slowly dying down as well. He turned his head toward her, a yearning glint in his eyes.
If this is how he went, then this wasn't so bad.
Gazing back at him, Sorcha choked over her note, tears spilling over her cheeks, but she continued. Taking hold of her hand, Jabari held on tightly and closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. Sorcha felt relief rush through her when he stopped seizing, seeing how relaxed he looked. How peaceful.
But then, she noticed how still – too still – his chest was, and Sorcha felt her mind become foggy in denial. Jabari's hand almost slipped from her hold, and she urgently squeezed tighter, her heart pounding in her ears.
"No." She breathed out, wide eyes frantically glancing over him. His cheeks still held a reddish tint to them, a lingering effect of the high fever that had plagued him these past days.
"No...!" She cried, her gaze suddenly glowing like fireflies in the night. She squeezed his hand again, horrified eyes darting toward the colorful threads slowly detaching from Jabari's prone form. Choking, the ashen woman took in a few quick breaths, slowly gazing back down to her lover's tranquil face. At last, a golden thread unraveled from Jabari's heart, disintegrating in the air, and Sorcha knew... She knew Jabari wouldn't come back.
Time seemed to pass by both quickly and slowly as Sorcha sat there, next to their bed, her mind feeling like molasses. Then, she bent down, gently laying her head on the man's chest. Her dim eyes gazed at Jabari's closed ones, silent tears spilling over his body, now only serving as a reminder of their memories together.
Everything was muffled, Sorcha's mind a mile away. Though, after a moment, Ruhi's faint cries pierced through her numbness, and the woman jolted, turning to look toward the red crib on the other side of the room. How long had her baby been crying?
Coughing slightly, Sorcha stood up slowly, walking over to her baby, mouth twisting down as she cooed to Ruhi. The pain irradiating from her muscles told her she had to get a move on as well.
The scene flooded behind her eyes, and Sorcha tightly pressed her lips to drown out the scream that wanted to come out, overwhelming guilt making her nauseous.
"Please don't hate me for this." She whispered weakly, a plea for the daughter she was leaving. For the lover she feared she had just let down. For the best friend she wouldn't get to see again, on the other side of the country.
The next day, Sorcha was found in the town cemetery, curled up against Jabari's memorial stone, an undelivered letter in hand. She'd been on her way to the post office and had stopped by to see her lover's tomb, knowing it was probably the last time she would. She intended to die at the hospital in the quarantine section, so her body would be dealt with more easily.
However, as she'd turned around to continue her way a few minutes later, she'd seized up, her legs locking in place. They didn't work anymore. With panicked cries, she'd pleaded desperately for more time, just enough to deliver her letter. But alas, her state quickly worsened, and in a last effort, she'd dragged herself back to Jabari's tomb, sorrowful tears falling across her cheeks.
The officers present at that moment would later recall how difficult it had been to separate the two; Sorcha's arms around the tomb had been even stronger than the embrace of death. To respect her last wish, they'd tried to deliver her letter for her, but the soggy ground Sorcha had laid in all night had completely ruined her writing, which rendered any names or addresses illegible.
Like Jabari, her name would be written down on the long list of victims of the unknown fungal infection that had ravaged the city and the ones around, claiming increasingly more lives until specialists from other parts of the world came to assist them, finally finding the cure to the disease.
Jabari and Sorcha would be forgotten by all, but a select few.
Seven years ago
Ruhi was battling with herself on whether she should speak or not. Her little fists were tightly bunching up her scuffed-up, pale blue dress in anxiety, and her eyes looked at the slightly ajar door in front of her. She felt out of breath.
A few days before, the six-year-old child had been allowed to join her aunt to church, where she had witnessed a snowball fight between a few kids afterwards. Ruhi had stared after them longingly while waiting for her guardian before a girl noticed her and aimed a smile her way, rosy-cheeked from the cold. Most kids she had met feared her, because of the strange appearance of her eyes, so Ruhi couldn't help the jittery feeling of hope that rushed through her then.
Without further prompting, the olive-eyed girl sent a shy grin back, her foot taking an unconscious step forward. However, she stopped in her tracks, expression becoming tense as she looked back and forth between the group of conversing women near the church's doors and the laughing children ahead. Her back turned, Ruhi didn't see the little girl bend down to pick up a handful of snow. However, when something hit her back, Ruhi's eyes widened, and she quickly turned around towards the girl. The teasing grin sent her a clear invitation for the shy brunette to join them.
Though all she wanted now was to take another step, Ruhi noticed the weary gazes sent her way from behind the girl's back and immediately paused, unsure of how to proceed. However, with her heart thumping in giddiness and the girl's expression bright in excitement, Ruhi finally decided to join them.
As she was nearing them, Aunt Magra – who had taken notice of the actions going on a few seconds previously - sharply tugged her arm back, hissing in her ear to not 'mingle with pure hearts'. Gulping, Ruhi nodded with a quiet response, sad eyes sending one last look toward the group of children as she was tugged away. She foolishly hoped someone would intervene.
The pigtailed girl watched her go in confusion, but she soon turned around to continue playing with her friends when she received a snowball to the head. She didn't glance back toward Ruhi.
Seeing as she was quickly forgotten, Ruhi felt her lips wobble, and she swivelled her head around. Disappointment and sadness made her throat tight all the way home, but she stayed silent, even though her mind was abuzz with questions and complaints. She had never been allowed to 'mingle' with anyone else before and she wanted to, so badly.
Through the days afterwards, the curly-haired girl kept wondering why she was never allowed to talk to anyone or go to school like the other kids. Though she had an inkling of what the woman would say, she wanted a clear answer, so she could hopefully work around the problem.
Still in front of the door leading to the living room, the girl took a calming breath to ease her nerves. She then entered through the door; her speech ready in her mind, vocabulary revised to appeal to her strict aunt. Breaths quickening slightly, Ruhi's gaze landed on Magra, reading on her leather couch near the window.
"Aunt Magra, why can't I ever go play with the other kids?" Ruhi feebly asked from the doorway, her eyes darting to her shoes when the older woman looked at her. Over the sound of classical music coming from the record player on the other side of the room, Ruhi's soft voice barely reached Magra, but the woman took notice of her, nonetheless. She snapped her scriptures shut, and angered brown eyes flashed towards the girl.
"Speak up when talking to me, girl! It's unrefined." She yelled, and Ruhi jumped. Her eyes widened, and she nodded quickly, repeating herself with a stutter. Doubt began clouding her mind when she saw she was irritating her aunt, and her sweaty palms further tightened around her dress.
"How many times must I tell you? Your questions are an affront to our faith, Ruhi! Those 'other kids' are not like you. They are ordinary, blessed with God's grace." Magra lectured her sharply, and Ruhi tensed up, her head lowering so she wouldn't upset her aunt anymore. She had known what she was getting into, but Aunt Magra's words still hurt.
"B-but I thought God made - made all of us. Why can't I be with them? I-I won't say anything about what I see, I promise!" She asked, glancing up with hopeful eyes, who began to glow like fireflies in her distressed state. In response, Aunt Magra's colors spiked with dangerous reddish-brown, and she raised her voice.
"You dare question God's plan? And do not use your devilish powers against me, Ruhi!" She began in a dangerously calm voice, and Ruhi quickly looked down again, fear gripping her entrails as her eyes lost their glow, turning back to their natural olive-green color.
"You-" Magra spat the word like it was a vile rag, pointing a sharp nail toward her. "Are a test from the Almighty. You mustn't mix with those who walk the path of righteousness. Your abilities, child, are a stain on your soul. They are an abomination, and you speak of them as if they are a mere inconvenience!" Magra yelled, and Ruhi flinched when the woman stomped a heeled foot harshly, a loud clack echoing painfully in her ears.
"Our faith demands that you isolate yourself, that you repent and cleanse your tainted spirit!" Magra continued with scorn and Ruhi's vision went blurry, her throat closing up, and she scrambled to find a way to help her case.
"T-Then, can't we pray together, Aunt Magra? Maybe God will take my powers away, and then I can go outside and play." She asked softly, but Aunt Magra only sniffed in contempt, her brown eyes harsh.
"Prayer alone will not suffice to do that; You can't change what you are...You have your mother to thank for that. That lying witch." She added with a sneer and Ruhi's eyes widened in pain and anger. This was a sore spot for the young girl, and the older woman knew it well. With faintly raised eyebrows, Magra turned around to sit back down on her armchair, dismissing Ruhi with an exasperated wave of her fingers.
"You are forbidden from venturing into the village to play with those who are pure in the eyes of the Lord, it is for your sake as well." Magra told her simply, sighing as she took back her book from the small wooden table beside her. Still immobile in the doorway, Ruhi clenched her teeth in frustration, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. She struggled to find her words until her eyes flashed up suddenly, in defiance and anger.
"How is this for my sake? You always punish me for nothing, it's not fair! I didn't ask for this, Aunt Magra," Ruhi whispered shakily, her voice gaining power along the way, and she met the surprised gaze of her aunt. This was the first time she dared speak back to her aunt.
"I just wanna be normal, like everyone else." She told her fiercely, her speech losing its formal tone Magra had beat into her, and the woman's face contorted in anger. Magra stood back on her feet and slowly marched back towards the girl, her teeth grinding together.
"How dare you speak to me with such insolence! You truly are ungrateful." Magra told her sharply, standing menacingly in front of her and Ruhi curled up her shoulders, taking a step back as the woman continued spitting in her face.
"Punished? I'm helping you cleanse your soul. I'm saving you from yourself! You should be thanking me, if I hadn't accepted you when your Witch of a mother came to dump you on my doorstep, you would be dead in a ditch somewhere!" She yelled, gesturing wildly and Ruhi felt hot, biting anger course through her. She straightened out, face red and tears streaming from her eyes. Her mind was blank in anger.
"Stop saying that! I'm not some kind of monster, and I wanna make friends my age. You and your stupid faith-" SLAP.
Ruhi's head was harshly knocked to the side, something cracking painfully. Her vision swam from whiplash as she lifted a hand to cradle her sore cheek, a pained gasp leaving her She swiftly backed away from her aunt, fear written over her face, and the woman began speaking, her face frigid with rage.
"You will obey me, child. Your defiance only proves how deeply these unnatural gifts have corrupted your soul." She took a breath to straighten herself, and Ruhi gulped as Magra's gaze settled on her once more.
"Repent, Ruhi, or the consequences will be severe. Go to your room, you are to recite your prayers until sundown. It's bad enough my reputation is soiled with you living with me, do not make me even more miserable than I already am." She pointed towards the door, her eyes cold. Ruhi kept her face down as she backed out of the room, bitter tears falling uncontrollably. Resentment and self-loathing were circling inside her. This was her own fault. Maybe if she hadn't lost control of her emotions, she could have avoided this outcome. She had known how stubborn Aunt Magra was, so why had she even tried?
But then, her anger turned outwards. Was this really God's plan for her? To fear and hate her own existence? To cause her pain? If it was, she didn't feel like trusting God anymore.
As the afternoon passed, Ruhi's cheek swelled up painfully. Since she wasn't allowed out of her room, meaning that no medicine was available, the young girl ignored the electrifying warmth spreading across her face. Instead, Ruhi mumbled each prayer she was taught on her bruising knees, a heaviness weighing down her chest.
She wondered if she was catching a cold.
Six years ago
Walking into the laundry room on the second floor, Ruhi caught a glance of herself in the mirror to her right. Her strange eyes always seemed out of place on her, with her matted brown hair and meek attitude. She couldn't remember a time when she hadn't felt embarrassed or guilty while looking into them, so she avoided her reflection. Though she loved seeing all the colors around her, she was afraid Aunt Magra would punish her for staring too long at certain people, since it was weird and unmannered. Her calves stung from the thought.
Turning back to her task, the little girl hummed as she prepared a basin full of soap and warm water to wash her and her aunt's clothes. While she waited for the pieces to soak for a moment, Ruhi cast her gaze outside and watched a bird fly between the branches of the old oak tree behind Aunt Magra's house. Curiosity brightened her blank features, and a small smile slowly lifted the corner of her lips, faint dimples appearing on her tan cheeks.
As Ruhi zoned in on the bird – she felt proud when she recognized the sort from the book she had read a few weeks earlier - her green eyes suddenly seemed to glow. Her iris and pupils were larger than normal, giving her a sort of feline look, and as she concentrated to see the bird's colors, her pupils dilated even more. Though the scene could be eerie to an outsider, the girl was only captivated by the faint silver and copper lashing out around the bird. It was truly a magical sight for her.
While she didn't fully understand it, Ruhi was born with the odd ability to see the souls of the living. Trees, animals, insects and people; they all had unique signature colors. As she grew up, Ruhi slowly began associating what she saw to be one's true nature. She could see what people kept hidden behind their everyday masks as clearly as a lighthouse during the night.
Every color and shape had its meanings, she found. Plants, trees and insects had calm and dull auras, usually in the shades of faint copper, with smooth, undisturbed flows. This color was also found in animals, but they usually had livelier colors like red, pink and silver. Impulsive and loving, while silver was the color of childbearing mothers.
In humans, pink, yellow and light green were her favorite people. Like Miss Nana down the street. They were warm people, who offered help to those who needed it. These people tended to have more bubbly and spikey stripes of colors. On the contrary, Ruhi tended to avoid individuals with mixes of brown and dark forest green, like Aunt Magra. They were mean.
To Ruhi, this hidden world of colors was her only joy in the cold house of her aunt. She craved more than anything the feelings of awe she got from discovering new hues and combinations. Plus, it made her feel closer to her late mother. While Ruhi had mixed feelings about the woman who had abandoned her, the thought that she hadn't been born an anomaly – a monster - reassured her greatly.
Because it meant that maybe somewhere, there was somebody else like her, that could see what she saw. It made her feel less lonely, and though she tried to quiet this part of her, she also hoped that maybe, they would find her...and they would take her away from here. To a place where people like her would thrive together; where love would fill every room, laughter would come like sun after the rain – everlasting and warm - where she would get hugs all year long, and where she wouldn't be scared all the time.
A real family.
But when these thoughts crossed her mind, shame usually followed Ruhi around for the rest of the day. Magra was her family. She would be dead without her; that was what the woman often told her. It wasn't right to think like this, Ruhi didn't want to get punished. But... It was still hard to be hated like this. The girl wished she could show her aunt what she saw so that the woman wouldn't fear her anymore. Because how could something so beautiful and inoffensive be bad? Though, she knew Aunt Magra loathed hearing anything about her abilities or of Sorcha. Even Jabari, who Ruhi later learned was Magra's brother when she once asked about a picture of him in the living room, was a sore subject.
So, Ruhi didn't utter their names, because she wanted to be obedient, and being obedient meant she could continue going into town. Even if she couldn't stray far from Aunt Magra, finally discovering more of the world made her feel alive, her mind overrun with possibilities and dreams.
Ruhi remembered how her first time out had been slightly overwhelming, surrounded by so many new sights. She'd gone to get new clothes with Aunt Magra – the ones she had been wearing for the past years were rags now, and because of that, Magra had received a comment when one of her visitors had caught a glimpse of the disheveled girl peeking from behind a tree in the surrounding forest.
"Dear, it must be so hard to be stuck with...a child like this, but I suggest taking a trip for a change in clothing. It is unsightly, even for a freak." The busty woman with red lipstick had said in a patronizing tone, and Ruhi had flinched when hearing her words, quickly disappearing into the forest. She didn't feel curious anymore. She'd rather play with her friends; Miss Bloom, Mister Fabien and Mister Pom-Pom, pretty pebbles she had painted smiley faces on. They were characters from her favorite book, people Ruhi looked up to, for their courage and kindness.
Though, after getting used to going in town a few more times, Ruhi profoundly enjoyed it. She loved hearing the voices of the other villagers, smelling the different perfumes and looking up at the beautiful stained-glass windows when she went to church with Magra. Especially when the sunlight filtered through them, reflecting rainbows everywhere. After another of Magra's lady friends saw the girl in town and recommended that being in the Lord's home could be beneficial for her, Magra decided then to let her niece join her at church sometimes. It had been quite a change, for both of them, since Magra had vowed to keep as much distance as possible from Ruhi.
After Sorcha had left Ruhi in her care, everything had gone well at first. This new situation had not been a problem for the woman, who tolerated children. However, Magra slowly began noticing some things about the child that unnerved her.
It was her niece's eyes that unsettled her first. Those abnormal eyes, just like her mother's, that seemed to see things that she couldn't. She hated how exposed and vulnerable she felt when they pierced through her. When the girl started talking nonsense about colors, a certain line was crossed that changed how the woman saw her niece.
Being deeply religious, the world was a place governed by divine order for Aunt Magra, and anything that deviated from that order was a threat. Ruhi's abilities, which she couldn't comprehend or control, seemed like a direct challenge to everything she held dear. Magra couldn't help but think of her niece as an aberration, and her powers an affront to the natural order.
When that realization came, any softer feelings towards her niece she could have held were replaced by fear and judgment. She no longer thought of her brother when looking at the child, but of her unnatural mother. That witch, who had seduced and killed her dear Jabari, whom she had raised like her own child.
Ruhi was too young at that time to see the different treatment she started receiving from her aunt, but she grew up in the aftermath of it. Her guardian never touched her, never told her kind words and if she spoke of a new color she saw, or acted in a way that displayed the strangeness of her eyes, she was sent to her room - usually without meals - and had to recite prayers until the woman felt satisfied.
Aunt Magra didn't care if the girl was running around in the forest, or if her hair was a tangled rat's nest. As long as no one was visiting or they weren't going into town, Ruhi and her warden lived almost parallel lives in the same house, and it was better that way for the woman.
Ruhi was about done with the pile of clothes when a sharp, screeching voice boomed from further back in the house.
"Girl! Finish washing those clothes and come set the table for dinner." Ruhi jumped and scrambled to catch the basin before it fell off the wooden counter.
"Y-Yes, Aunt Magra!" Her soft voice echoed back. She darted outside to put everything to dry on the clothesline and came back to start the table. She could see her aunt finishing up in the kitchen as she set the last knife, so Ruhi placed herself behind her seat and waited for Magra to arrive with their plates and sat down after the woman. The freckled girl waited for the mealtime prayer to end before digging in, making herself quiet. Anytime spent with Aunt Magra was silent, as the woman loathed small talk. Or rather, she hated talking to Ruhi. The girl knew how much of a gossiper her aunt was.
This was why Ruhi was surprised when Magra unexpectedly spoke up after a while, the tan little girl quickly masking her anticipation by keeping her gaze fixed on her plate.
"I will be needing your help in town to gather some things we are short of. Clean yourself up after eating, we shall leave in one hour."
Ruhi felt excitement course through her veins, but kept her smile hidden with a forkful of carrots. Her tanned cheeks from many sunny days spent outdoors flushed in excitement. These were the occasions she yearned for the most! She was already smelling the different aromas on the main street and the many colors she would meet. Her efforts to be good had been rewarded, she thought proudly.
Finishing up her meal, Ruhi took her aunt's plate as well as hers and placed them in the sink as the woman went to prepare herself upstairs. Down in the kitchen, the little brunette poured a bit of soap and warm water, quickly cleaning up everything before scampering to her room as well.
Darting off with her new set of jeans and her favorite loose coral blouse – a gift from Miss Nana down the street - Ruhi went and took a swift shower, which turned into a longer one as she tried to conquer her matted hair. For what felt like forty minutes, she painstakingly brushed through the knots with only a few frustrated grunts. She did try to brush through it before going to sleep, but her hair was wavy and thick, and she couldn't be bothered enough knowing she would be playing through branches and leaves the next day. Though a better routine care would probably make it hurt less, she mused irritably. Finally taming the beast, the green-eyed girl smiled in relief, before turning off the water and getting out.
She was just finishing dressing herself when she heard her aunt calling out to her. Gasping, Ruhi quickly exited her room and marched down the stairs, meeting Magra before the front door, empty bags in hand. Stopping next to the door, the young girl put a hand on the wall for support as she put on her sandals. Then, Ruhi stood up with a small smile and grabbed the leftover bags on the dining table. Even Aunt Magra's displeased frown at her choice of clothing wasn't enough to damper her good mood as they finally took off toward town.
As they were more on the outskirts of the village, the trip to get to the plaza was a good half an hour's walk. It went by faster for Ruhi because her attention kept being diverted by many things all at once. She saw silver striking from a woman – a baby was coming! - and took the time to appreciate the rich purple of a boy's aura eating something that looked good, a sort of long sandwich. She took in all the pretty signs overhead and investigated the shops she passed by. Turning her head to the left, Ruhi saw a dog waiting for its master and bent down to quickly steal a few pets before her aunt could realize anything, smiling widely as she did so.
By the time they arrived at the town's plaza, Ruhi's cheeks were rosy with happiness, and she accepted without fussing anything her aunt made her carry. Her arms were struggling slightly as they were finishing up, but she forgot about them when a colorful paper caught her attention. She bent closer to take a subtle look, glancing toward Magra to make sure the coast was clear.
Step Right Up to the Spectacular World of The Maestro Circus
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, get ready for an unforgettable experience!
The Maestro Circus is coming to town, and they're bringing a world of music, magic, and endless fun to your doorstep!
The circus is a place where dreams come alive, and memories are made. Bring your family and friends and let your imagination soar!
Mark your calendars and prepare for an exciting adventure.
The Maestro Circus promises a world of laughter and music that you won't want to miss!
Ruhi didn't know why her hand took one of the papers without her consent, but she subtly hid it in her pockets anyway, quickly jogging up to join her aunt up ahead. Maybe it was the essence of joy it seemed to promise, or maybe it was her wish for adventure that made her take the paper. Regardless, she knew she would never be allowed to go, but the thought made her happy.
A week passed without thoughts of the circus. Ruhi spent her time chasing butterflies, looking after her plants and reading her favorite books in the library. A few days later, her aunt advised her it would do her some good to attend church, so that was why she was now trailing after Magra into town again. As they were coming closer to their destination, a blonde, middle-aged woman approached them with a familiar smile. As the pair halted and the women exchanged words together, Ruhi awkwardly swept her olive-green eyes around the road. A flower shop captured her attention and, subtly making sure her aunt wasn't looking, she quietly crossed the road towards it.
She was admiring the sight of a blue little flower behind the window when suddenly, someone harshly knocked into her, and she went down with a yelp. Laying down on her back with a VIP view of the sky, Ruhi blinked a few times to get rid of the dark spots in her vision. Slowly, she lifted herself into a sitting position, checking on her scrapped hand and when she heard a soft groan in front of her, Ruhi glanced up.
There, a girl, maybe around seventeen or older, sat on her bum, rubbing her elbow with a harsh frown. She seemed to feel Ruhi's gaze and looked up from underneath shaggy purple hair, her blue eyes widening in surprise. The stranger gasped and began apologizing before she helped her up, her voice lower than Ruhi thought it would be.
The younger girl hadn't spoken yet, the surprise of their encounter enabling her other vision, Thankfully, the glow of her eyes hidden by the sun beaming down on them.
The teenager's aura was shocking, to say the least. She had beautiful colours, like light green and orange, but a little wisp of brown and black corrupted her soul, around her heart. Ruhi had seen similar colors around animals who had been wounded. This older girl had been hurt terribly, and it still pained her to this day. This girl...she's different. Ruhi thought in awe, feeling a spark of something birth in her chest. Hope? A kinship? She didn't know.
Too absorbed by the sight dancing before her, she didn't shy away from the stranger when she started fussing over her, brushing dirt from her brown hair. Ruhi came back to herself as the teen was asking her something.
"H-huh?" Ruhi was embarrassed at her intelligent response, but the purple-haired girl only laughed and repeated.
"Are you okay, kid? Sorry I bumped into ya, wasn't lookin' where a was goin'." Her smile was sincere, so Ruhi couldn't help but shyly smile back. She felt at ease with her. Fortunately, Aunt Magra hadn't noticed she wasn't behind her - which didn't completely surprise Ruhi - but she wasn't going to complain if it let her have a few more minutes here.
"I-I'm okay, thank you. I'm sorry too, I was looking at the flower shop, so I didn't see you coming." She offered meekly, but the older teen shook her head dismissively.
"Nah, this one's all on me. I'm Penny, by the way. What's your name lil' miss?" She offered Ruhi a hand in greetings, who shook it awkwardly; the older girl's hand was much bigger than hers.
"I'm Ruhi...Nice to meet you." She mumbled shyly, looking down at their feet. She was feeling a bit insecure. Was she staring too much? Did Penny find her weird? She probably was, wasn't she? I can't even get half a sentence out correctly, Ruhi kicked herself mentally.
"I'm with the circus troupe that arrived a week ago, have you ever been to one?" Penny asked her, watching how Ruhi's head shot up sharply, a glimmer of life appearing in her green eyes. Though odd, they were very pretty, Penny thought. The blue-eyed girl had never seen eyes like hers.
A bemused expression appeared on her face as she watched the child fumble in excitement, hiding the analytical look in her eyes as she gazed at Ruhi's peeking collarbones. This child was too thin. Even her flowy clothes weren't enough to hide it.
"You are!? How is it? Do you like it there? Were you born in the circus?" Ruhi asked rapidly and Penny was about to answer when she started another round of questions. Her sudden assertiveness took the older girl by surprise, but she fondly watched the curly-haired child babble on, hair bouncing up and down as she gestured wildly.
"- Is that how you train tigers and lions? What about baby doves? Do you take care of the eggs? Are some eggs like chicken eggs? Can you eat them? Oh! And tightropes! Is it hard to walk on one? And-" She cut herself off when she saw her aunt turn around, seemingly looking for her. Penny watched the glimmer disappear from her face and dread take place instead. The older girl frowned and subtly looked over to see where she was looking, taking in the stern woman with a peeved face.
"You with the miss dressed in green?" She pointed with her thumb behind them, towards Aunt Magra and Ruhi stiffened up at the reminder, falling off her cloud. She looked down at her feet, closing herself from the teen and Penny narrowed her eyes, not liking it. She was reminded of herself, before the circus. Gently taking hold of Ruhi's hand - feeling how she tensed up in surprise – Penny addressed her.
"Do you wanna come see our circus? We have a show startin' later. I'm offerin' you a free seat, in apology for bumping into ya." Penny smiled encouragingly, but she had a feeling she knew what Ruhi's response was going to be. The girl looked at her like a kicked puppy, eyes darting back and forth between her and the approaching woman. Panic was starting to creep in seeing her aunt's angry face looking at both of them. She was in big trouble, by the look of it.
"I-I can't, I'm not allowed." She said softly, honey-coloured skin paling. Penny stood so she was blocking the approaching woman and repeated more gently.
"That's not what I asked. Do you want to see the circus?" Penny could see it in Ruhi's eyes, this girl was like her.
"...I do" Ruhi whispered, before her eyes lowered to look at Penny's chest as the angry call of her name reached them. Penny smirked, abruptly securing her hold on the girl's hand and dragging her along as she took off down an alleyway to their right. The screech of Aunt Magra was drowned out behind them and Ruhi felt both panicked and thrilled. She was exhilarated by all the action, but she feared the punishment she was going to get after this. However, her fear was quickly shaken off as she concentrated on not splatting against people or stoned corners from their dash around town.
After a while, they rushed down some stairs that led them underneath a concrete arch bridge, and both were breathing a bit heavily once they were shaded from view. Ruhi glanced around her, seeing water smoothly flowing by them a few feet away.
"I'm going to be in so much trouble when I go back" Ruhi gulped nervously, picking out a stray hair stuck in her eyelashes.
"Just say this weird girl kidnapped ya." Penny said, pointing to herself confidently. "But you've got to admit her screams were pretty funny." She smirked and Ruhi was shocked when she let out a snort by accident.
"No!" She exclaimed, and Penny watched with a smirk as she paused for a second. "...Yeah okay" Ruhi admitted reluctantly, huffing a laugh before finally relaxing her shoulders. She hadn't felt such joy since...well, ever. She didn't want it to end yet, but she kept thinking of what was going to be waiting for her once in front of Aunt Magra.
Crossing her hands in front of her, Ruhi leaned on the stoned wall with Penny, the cool temperature helping to ease off the heat from their run. A few seconds passed as they caught their breath until the older teen suddenly broke the silence.
"I know I put ya in a tough position by doin' this, but I had to make sure you were safe." She told Ruhi seriously, sending her a sideway glance before she continued.
"I noticed how scared ya looked when yer aunt was comin' over. It ain't right for a little girl to have tha' sort of look on her face. You don't have to tell if you don't wanna, but does yer aunt treat ya badly?" Penney asked her softly, and Ruhi felt cornered. She didn't know what to say.
She knew her aunt was a bit mean sometimes, but it was because she was scared, wasn't she? Ruhi didn't want to say anything bad about Aunt Magra. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, struggling with her indecision. Penny watched the round, panicked eyes on the brunette's face, and cursed mentally. She should have been gentler with her delivery. This was bound to expose many conflicting emotions. Letting out a huff from her nose, the purple-haired girl leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Trust was a two-way street.
"I joined the Maestro circus after runnin' away from my father. He was a mean bastard." She spat out the words with darkened eyes. "I want ya to know that you can talk to me about anythin'. I grew up in a situation where I didn't always feel safe, and I don't want ya to feel that way too. If somethin' is bothering you, you can trust me." Penny told her gingerly, her eyes serious but warm. Hearing this, Ruhi's expression tensed in surprise. She was speechless for a moment until words started tumbling out of her mouth.
"My aunt is strict about what I'm allowed to do or not. I..." She paused for a moment, glancing at the blue-eyed girl hesitantly, but carried on. "I was born with a weird ability. I can see the... souls, I think, of living beings. My aunt doesn't like it. She says what I can do is against the will of God, and that I'll go to hell." As the words rushed out, Ruhi felt out of breath. A sort of frenetic feeling was taking place as she ripped open her old scars. She didn't know if she was sharing too much, none of the books in Magra's library held that information.
Penny didn't let the surprise she felt show on her face. She had seen her fair share of weird things since joining the circus, so she took Ruhi's story in stride. She only wanted the girl to finally let out what seemed to be heavy baggage.
"She yells at me a lot, and when I see things without meaning to, she gets furious. On good days, I'm sent to my room to pray, but s-sometimes she hits me." The young girl paused, huffing a breath. It felt so relieving, to finally let her anger out, to share her pain with someone who seemed so understanding and willing to listen, even if a part of Ruhi felt uncomfortable at how vulnerable she was being with a stranger.
"This is the first time I'm having a real conversation with someone other than Aunt Magra, you know. I was never allowed to say anything more than a greeting. I think it was because she was scared I would either 'taint' normal people, or they would realize I was even stranger than simply having these eyes." Ruhi gestured to her face with a frustrated look, before she sighed, suddenly feeling drained.
Had she shared too much? Ruhi bit her lip and looked down at her feet, suddenly feeling insecure. She couldn't bear to look at Penny, afraid of seeing her reaction to all her word vomit. However, the warmth of a hand on her head startled her, urging her to peer into the fierce and sympathetic eyes of Penny. Ruhi's breath caught in her throat as she caught faint pink bubbling up toward her from the older teen, and tears pricked her eyes from shock. She had never seen this color being directed at her like this before.
"Please know that it's not yer fault for being born the way you are. I'm sorry for the way ya were treated by yer aunt. You deserve better." The older girl said, expression becoming thoughtful as she seemed to consider something for a moment.
"If it's alright with ya, I wanna show ya around the circus tents a bit. There's something else I have to offer later, but it'll be yer choice to accept or not." Her words made Ruhi blink dumbly, before she looked between Penny's eyes and the hand she was offering her. The green-eyed girl slowly took it, watching the older teen's widening smile as she started following her.
They walked further down the ledge of the bridge canal, and some people sent them curious looks from above. Ruhi felt a smile lift the corners of her lips when she saw someone blink curiously down at them, and an embarrassed flush coloured her cheeks. They were attracting a lot of attention.
After a while, the canal ended, and Ruhi could see grass from the opening. Carefully stepping around the rushing water and down the ledge, the girl realized they were standing near the river separating their village from Yorknew City, the tall buildings far away glowing in the descending sun. Ruhi had never seen the big city this close before and slowly gazed around with an awed look on her face.
Penny let her enjoy the view for a moment before she called her name. Turning towards the young woman, Ruhi saw that behind her lay many colorful tents and dazzling lights and her attention was immediately captured. People waved at them as they walked closer, some even clapping Penny on the back and shoulders in greetings while passing by. They all had loving smiles and colors.
Ruhi felt a bit dazzled by everything around her. A beautiful blonde woman surprised her by popping out a flower from behind her ear, offering it to her afterwards with a warm smile and Ruhi's cheeks reddened in excitement, her eyes glimmering in wonder. She glanced down at the daisy, her heart ready to burst.
After passing through a few more people, the pair stopped at one of the bigger tents. Peering inside, the brunette gasped in amazement and stepped fully inside the hot tent with Penny's encouragement, her hands clutching her flower close to her chest. She was guided towards a quiet corner and sat down to watch a few performers rehearse their acts. Ruhi noted how passionate they all were, and how they seemed to know what the others were thinking, making difficult moves flow smoothly. Then, she heard a group of people tuning their instruments and quietly clapped in amazement when they began a happy tune, her feet kicking in giddiness.
Ruhi continued to observe them a bit, and she realized a lot of the people here had different defining traits. She had seen many people with extravagant clothing, someone sporting an impressive scar across their face, and another she had seen with an eccentric haircut, she remembered in amusement. She felt at ease here, with people of all shapes and sizes, colors and styles. With a happy smile, Ruhi listened attentively as Penny started naming the people around her. At her inquiry, the blue-eyed girl told her stories and funny moments she had seen and heard of during the years.
Time passed, and a little seed started growing inside of Ruhi when she looked at the pink striking around, not only from Penny but from the others. The curly-haired brunette felt herself relax completely as she bathed in the present moment, her eyes closing in contentment.
Love.
She felt drunk on the essence that flowed everywhere around her. These people, she thought, seem to breathe love. She wanted... She wanted to be a part-
Ruhi cut herself off abruptly, eyes opening again. That wasn't possible. Right? Was she being too hopeful in thinking Penny's offer could be about joining the circus? Did she really want it? Would they even accept her? Did she really deserve it? What if, like Magra always told her, she eventually did bring them bad luck by sticking with them?
The older teen trailed off into silence when she saw the girl straighten abruptly. Seeing how she was lost in thought, Penny let her mull. She recognised that look too. After a few seconds, she gently lifted her hand to ruffle the freckled girl's hair and directed her head to look at her.
"We welcome everyone, ya know. This is a safe place for anybody who needs it. We'll be stayin' in town for two more days. I'm invitin' you to the circus. Ya decide if you wanna come with us or not. I know it's a short time for ya to think about it, and I'm sorry." Penny told her, expression creased in worry as she let Ruhi think things over.
The green-eyed girl bit her lip. The cry of her heart was loud and aching. Ruhi knew that this was where she wanted to belong, among other strange people. But running away was not a decision to be taken lightly. It meant leaving behind everything she had ever known, her home, her past. But...it also meant leaving behind the family she had never truly been a part of, she thought glumly.
All for the unknown.
She felt bad about leaving Aunt Magra alone, but the thought of being punished and kept from leaving the house until the woman wasn't enraged anymore outweighed her guilt. She had always been a dutiful niece. Following the rules, striving to please her aunt, all the while letting her dreams and desires suffocate in silence.
This wasn't love, Ruhi realized. Always walking on eggshells around her aunt; being punished for existing. Ruhi took another look around her, seeing the affectionate touches shared here and there, the proud colors directed at each other, and the seed inside of her bloomed.
Ruhi's eyes brightened with life as she thought of the life she yearned for. About the adventures, the freedom, and the chances to make her own choices that were all waiting for her. The unknown with these people seemed more inviting than the stifling predictability of her current existence.
Ruhi's eyes glistened, her decision made. She would leave that house – not a home - and embrace the world beyond. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but the idea of freedom, of finding herself, was too alluring to ignore. Ruhi made a promise to herself then: to listen to her heart, no matter the consequences. Even if this means I'm being selfish. She thought, a slight frown on her face.
With determination in her heart, Ruhi's watery eyes turned back to Penny's gentle blue ones, before she smiled and offered her hand. The teen smirked proudly, and the child reciprocated with the biggest smile she could muster.
"Can I join the circus?" Ruhi's clear, loud, voice rang around them, and a few heads turned in curiosity to look at the two.
"Hell yeah!" Penny exclaimed, shaking her hand. The onlookers whooped as well, coming over to greet her and Ruhi felt overjoyed. She wondered if this was what a real family looked like.
Ruhi and Penny were on their way to meet with the circus leader. Even though the purple-haired teenager - with the agreement of the other circus members - assured her everything was going to go well, and that "Isa" would love her, Ruhi was anxiously thinking up scenarios in her head that all ended with her having to leave without even having officially joined.
"Stop overthinkin' so much, kid." Penny ruffled her hair with a bemused expression. She had talked a bit with Isabella while Ruhi was preoccupied with the others and had mentioned a few key points without divulging too much of Ruhi's story. Curious, Isabella had wanted to speak alone with the child afterwards.
For the circus troupe, recruitment usually went this way. If new people were brought in by members of the troupe - or asked to join, as it had been for Penny - Isabella was the one that had the last word. Though the young woman knew Ruhi would be accepted, as she was a sweet kid with plenty of potential, and the woman had a soft spot for children. However, before going off on her own while Ruhi and their leader talked, Penny gave her one last piece of advice.
"Just be honest when respondin' to her questions, ok? Isa doesn't like liars. I know it might be uncomfortable to share personal information all over again, but she'll be the one that'll understand you most." She told him with a smile and while Ruhi still felt tense, Penny's words helped her relax a bit. She started feeling more curious about meeting with the leader now.
Penny bid her goodbye with an encouraging smile and a wave, opening the flap of the guest tent. Ruhi watched her colors fade through the exit, chasing after the small comfort Penny offered her. She eyed the sofa to her right and wanted to sit down, but wondered if it would be rude if she did. Not knowing what to do, she awkwardly stood by the couch with pursed lips. The tent wasn't as big as the others, maybe around five meters in diameter, but the high ceiling and white tarp helped make it less suffocating to be inside. Ruhi looked at the pretty flatweave rug beneath her socked feet - it was a rule to leave your shoes before entering any tents, she was told - and rubbed the unfamiliar fabric absently under her toes.
She was about to approach the wooden table in front of the sofa to take a closer look at the magazines on top when she heard muted footsteps coming closer, and the flaps of the tent opened. A tall woman came in with a piercing dark gaze, her black hair glowing from the sunset behind her. Her cream flowy dress and golden accessories caught Ruhi's attention, but when she saw her brown eyes moving towards her, Ruhi tensed and quickly looked down before they could make eye contact. Isabella blinked curiously, looking a second longer at the little girl fiddling with her fingers in front of her. She couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was, but this girl felt familiar somehow. A smile stretched across Isabella's lips, before she gently addressed Ruhi, trying to get the girl out of her shell.
"Hello there, sweetheart. My name is Isabella, but you can call me Isa, like everyone else here does. Welcome to the Maestro Circus Troupe. What's your name, love?" She gestured for Ruhi to sit down as she also took place in front of the child.
"Ruhi, ma'am. N-Nice to meet you." She said softly. She didn't know why she was having trouble speaking up. Unconsciously, what had the girl so tense was the woman's confidence and her brown eyes, which reminded her of Aunt Magra.
Just by this interaction, Isabella could connect the dots with what she was told by Penny. Her smile turned a bit sad as she observed the skittish little girl who had trouble meeting her gaze. Sighing softly, she lowered her shoulders and bent forward to appear smaller.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ruhi. Now, Penny told me a bit about your situation." Isaeblla began gently, but Ruhi curled up. She felt embarrassed, looking briefly at the woman's shoulder, then to the floor. Isabella watched her face become tense and quickly reassured her.
"Don't worry, she was adamant about letting you share your own story. We're all a little different in this circus, and that's what makes us shine. What I know is that you wanted to join us because you were unhappy at home, is that right?" Isabella asked her, and Ruhi nodded mutely. She glanced at Isabella from under her bangs, hiding her eyes as she tried to gouge her colors. She didn't know what to expect from her and usually, unpredictability meant danger.
What she didn't know was that the woman had caught the glow from her eyes in the mirror on their left side. Isabella subtly glanced over and felt shocked, but carefully kept her face blank as she watched the little girl's familiar green eyes deepen in intensity, flickering around her. The olive-skinned woman watched many emotions pass on Ruhi's face before she seemed to ease somewhat. Penny had mentioned a little trick she had, and Isabella felt her heart clench in pain and recognition. She appraised the little brunette with a fresh look, seeing familiar traits now that she was meeting her gaze.
Yes, however surprising it was, this was Sorcha and Jabari's daughter.
"You did something astonishing just now. Mind if I ask you a few questions about it?" She began softly with a calm voice, and Ruhi blanched. She didn't process the woman's words, too focused on the fact she had been caught.
"I'm sorry! I won't do it again." She shouldn't have done that! She was going to get into trouble, they wouldn't let her in the circus-
Isabella was about to put a hand on the girl's shoulder but refrained, seeing how her eyes darted to the exit, and simply crouched down to make her look at her.
"Hey, it's okay Ruhi. I didn't mean to startle you, I'm sorry. You're not in trouble. I think it's amazing what you can do! Could you show me again?" She crossed eyes with Ruhi and smiled warmly.
Ruhi frowned slightly, calming down. Is she joking? She thought as she slowly nodded, focusing her skeptical eyes on the woman in front of her. Wisps of different hues appeared around Isabella again and Ruhi felt a pleasant feeling creeping up her chest, seeing that she hadn't scared Isabella, but instead picked her curiosity.
"Do you see differently, when your eyes change like that?" Isabella kept her voice gentle as she talked with Ruhi. She was making progress, she noted. She had seen how the little girl looked as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop earlier, and how now, her shoulder seemed to uncurl and straighten a bit more.
Ruhi's eyes brightened as she faced Isabella.
"I-I can see colors. Um, around animals, people, ev-even plants! I can see what people are feeling, and what makes them them deep inside." Ruhi seemed to invigorate when Isabella smiled excitedly and felt encouraged to continue.
"Your colors, they're very pretty. You have a lot of green: the bright kind, not the dark one. Which means you like to help people. And- and you also have deep blue, which means you're a calm person. I haven't met a lot of blue people, but from what I saw, they also like to read, and they speak well."
Ruhi paused for a second, hesitating. However, Isabella's nod and expectant gaze made the corners of her lips tug upwards. She took in a breath before continuing.
"You also have a black mark on your soul, Like Penny. I think this means that you were hurt before. Unlike her though, I think you made peace with it..." She trailed off. This sounded a bit too insensitive.
"...Sorry." Ruhi bit her lips, looking down again.
"Don't be! That's an awesome power you have there, love. My best friend could do the same things, you know." She said carefully and Ruhi looked up, cheeks red from the praises. What?
"Your best friend? She...she could do the things I do?" Ruhi felt breathless from shock. Isabella's eyes were soft as she gazed at Ruhi. From the last letter she'd received from her soul sister, Isabella had thought Ruhi had died along with her and Jabari, but the proof lay right there in front of her, living and breathing.
"Yes, her name was Sorcha. She was...My most important person. I loved her very dearly. Still do..." Isabella felt her throat tighten with emotions as she looked at the child in front of her. Sorcha's daughter.
Ruhi felt all her thoughts stop abruptly. Had she heard her, right? Isabella waited, gauging her reaction.
"...You knew my mother?" Ruhi's voice came out small, uncertain. She had always wanted to know more about her parents, but Aunt Magra didn't like talking about them, especially not her mother. Nothing good had ever been said about Sorcha, so Ruhi felt a bit apprehensive. What had she done to hurt the woman before her so deeply it had marked her soul?
Isabella smiled tenderly, nodding. "Your father Jabari as well. He was one of my close friends. If you want, I can show you some pictures?" She offered gently, and Ruhi nodded unsurely. Isabella stood up and gestured for the girl to follow her and they exited the guest tent, walking side by side in the afternoon sun.
"Sorcha and I grew up together in an orphanage. She was a mischievous one, that girl." Isabella told her with mirth. Ruhi listened with rapt attention, wanting to know everything.
"She always got in trouble for sneaking out at night to watch the stars, or wreaking havoc in some other way. I told her off countless times, but she always listened to her heart first, no matter the consequences. It used to irritate me to no ends, but then one day she told me this:
"Isa, something is burning inside of me. I want to see the world with this gift I have. If I smother it and conform to what's expected, I feel like this spark will die. I don't want to live in regrets."
Isabella paused for a second, lost in thoughts. Ruhi didn't pressure her, simply waiting for her eagerly. Gift? Huh. Ruhi thought unsurely, the corner of her lips twitching up. She liked thinking of her abilities as a gift, rather than a curse.
Ruhi's eyes sparkled, and she turned an eager look towards Isabella. She had initially felt a bit apprehensive about hearing stories of her mother. She had feared the worst, the disappointment that would have followed, but the portrayal of this Sorcha she had never heard of brought up new emotions inside of her. Longing and curiosity to know more about her, as well as anger towards Aunt Magra, for having dirtied her view of her mother. Ruhi tried not to dwell too much on that last part, though.
With a blink, the older woman smiled at her and continued speaking.
"It moved me, because I realized then that I had been too consumed in my hate for my parents, who had abandoned me. We stuck together after that. I learned how to let go of my anger with Sorcha. When we were of age, we went off with the few jennies we had, and we started doing street performances. I played the guitar and did some magic tricks, while Sorcha, who could easily guess what troubles people were having with the help of her gift, offered counseling sessions. She also sang sometimes and told stories. She had an amazing voice, that girl." Isabella smiled down at Ruhi, who gazed at her with a bright grin, her cheeks hurting slightly from how long she had been stretching them. It was pretty unusual for her to smile so much, but she couldn't deny how nice it felt.
"We began to gain notoriety slowly, adding more and more people to our family. Eventually, people even started asking to join. That's how the Maestro circus came to be." Isabella stopped walking in front of a large, burnt orange tent. She turned towards Ruhi, opening the flaps and inviting her in.
"This is my yurt. Make yourself at home, and don't forget to take off your shoes when entering, please." She smiled at the tan little girl, who looked up in awe at all the different lights and patterned scarves that were crisscrossing from the ceiling. Slipping out of her sandals, Ruhi twirled around to see everything and smiled excitedly at Isabella.
"It's so pretty in here! Like a fairy castle!" She gushed in adoration, touching the silky clothes and eagerly walking closer to the black cat on the couch when she noticed it. She let out a happy noise as it rubbed against her hands happily and Isabella watched her go with a fond smile. She then walked past the pair to go grab a teapot and filled it from her water bin before putting it on the stove to boil.
Ruhi watched her as she disappeared behind a bamboo screen to search underneath her cot. The girl looked down again towards the cat, who had moved into her lap.
"What's her name? Uh, is it a boy or a girl?" She asked curiously, mesmerized by the light bouncing off its fur. She heard Isa chuckle from behind the divider.
"Her name is Kiki. She's an old woman like me." Ruhi's eyebrows shot up, noticing the white hairs around her snout and eyes then.
"Nice to meet you Kiki." She said softly, gently massaging her head. Isabella came back with a box in her hands, sitting down beside Ruhi on the couch. She put the box on the low wooden table, and Ruhi felt her heart thump in excitement. She looked at the woman beside her, who nodded towards the box encouragingly.
Ruhi bent down, mindful of Kiki, before she opened the lid. Her fingers started trembling as she picked up the first photo on top of the pile, throat closing as she looked into eyes that were an exact copy of hers. It felt weird, finally putting a face to a name that had made her feel so many different things. She eagerly drank up every little detail in front of her. How the freckles on Sorcha's face were the same as her own, how her red hair flowed beautifully, how she laughed with her mouth open, her cheeks a happy pink and smile lines present around her eyes. She then noticed a man beside Sorcha, someone she had seen before in Aunt Magra's house. Jabari, her father. He was a handsome man with a strong jaw, a tan complexion and a head full of black curls.
"Was my father a member of the circus too?" She asked, astonished, and Isabella nodded with a nostalgic look in her eyes.
"Yes, Jabari was traveling, and he came to watch one of our shows. He was very intrigued about your mother." She laughed with mirth, and Ruhi laughed in amusement. Isabella felt her heart tug at the dimples that appeared – that was all Jabari – and the way Ruhi's eyes creased happily, a sign of Sorcha. With a sharp breath, the dark-skinned woman continued sharing the story of the two lovers.
"They began to talk, and both fell in love quickly afterwards. I remember him mentioning how his sister had been furious with him when he had sent her a call telling her he had joined a circus and wouldn't come back. I guess he also had enough of Magra." Isabella told her with a hand pressed in front of her mouth. Caught off guard by the fact that the woman also knew Magra, Ruhi let out a surprised laugh, before she turned back eagerly to see more of the two. She passed through candid moments between the lovers, laughing as Isabella explained the background to some of them.
Suddenly, she came upon one photo, where they were handling a baby boy – Jabari and Sorcha with Adva's baby Judi, it read on the side - happy smiles on their faces. Ruhi's smile dropped, and her heart clenched painfully, tears blurring her vision as she put down the photographs. She slowly turned towards Isabella, struggling to find her words while being overcome with too many emotions. Isabella watched her patiently, eyes sad and tender.
"...Did my mother and father really abandon me?" She didn't understand, and she had to know. Isabella looked down, and the silence was heavy between them as the woman lifted the pictures from her box to get out a pile of letters from the bottom.
"They loved you very much, never doubt that." She began, ruffling through the stack of paper and finally taking one out, offering it to Ruhi. The girl looked at it with a bit of frustration and hope.
"Here, this is the last letter I received from Sorcha, two years after they went off to start a family on their own, after she got pregnant with you." Ruhi wiped her eyes, looking at the plain letter with an unsure frown. Isabella stood up, darting off to prepare a cup of tea for both. Ruhi breathed in a wobbly inhale, before she opened the letter.
Dear Isa,
I hope this letter finds you well. I don't know what to do. A vicious virus has swept through our village and – the ink is smudged, as if Sorcha paused a second too long – I'm having a tough time penning these words. In mere days, Jabari, he has fallen to this sickness. My only consolation is that he was asleep for most of it.
It's bad here, my friend. I fear for Ruhi. I – tear drop stains have dried on the paper, smearing the ink – do not know what I will do if she also passes away. She is my only light as it is. Isa, I think I caught the infection, and I'm scared of giving it to Ruhi as well. Or that I'll leave her alone.
Magra is here, but I as I told you, Ruhi has my eyes. I'm positive she will have my gift, and Magra can be a very cruel woman, especially towards things that she deems different. However, I cannot bring myself to leave her at the orphanage. This is not an experience I would wish for my daughter, as you know.
Isabella, my soul aches at the thought, but I have to warn you. If you do not receive another letter from me, then that'll mean I didn't survive the virus.
I love you my sister, Sorcha.
Ruhi finished reading, lips pressed hard together. Quiet tears streamed down her face and Isabella approached her, gently wiping her face as she sat down beside her again. Silence hung for a moment between them, until the older woman spoke.
"They loved you very much, Ruhi. Sorcha would rave about you in her letters. You were their everything. I'm -" Her voice choked, but she continued. "I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you. A month passed after receiving that letter while we usually exchanged letters each two weeks, and I lost hope. I didn't think you survived as well, being a baby, and I... I lost myself in my grief. I'm sorry." Isabella began crying, and she squeezed Ruhi's hand, who was unresponsive for a second, before she squeezed back. Ruhi lifted her head, eyes pained, but a certain weight was off her shoulders.
"It's - It's okay. I get it... Thank you for showing me. W-Would you mind if I look at the other letters?" She asked unsurely and Isabella smiled at her wobblily, quickly nodding.
For the next hours, Ruhi read through every letter with rapt attention, heart full of bittersweet feelings. She learned her birthdate, the first of September. She read how her father and mother told Isabella about her. She could hear the love, see it in their words. It filled her up with something new, a feeling she didn't dislike.
Afterwards, Isabella later told her funny anecdotes to lift her spirits, successfully rousing a few laughs out of her. The woman asked her other questions, loving how the girl became more animated, her little hands flying around and her eyes sparkling as she described the trees she liked to climb most, what her favorite colors were, and what she liked to eat.
Isabella kept in mind what Sorcha, Jabari and Penny had told her of Magra, having quickly realized upon meeting Ruhi certain things that rubbed her the wrong way. Through her subtle interrogation, Isabella only felt more enraged – and guilty, it was drowning her - as she noticed how she never spoke of school or friends. How she would take care of her injuries alone, and even having to cut her own hair once, after she couldn't brush through them. That she loved when she could join her aunt in town, since it didn't happen very often, and how she hated reciting prayers, but since it made her aunt happy, she was okay with it.
Isabella took everything in. Noticed everything. The scars on her knuckles and calves. Her malnourished state, her initial fearfulness.
Ruhi didn't know that what she was saying spelled an abusive home. She hadn't lived amongst others long enough to understand this. She was simply happy to share her experiences, babbling as a seven-year-old little girl did. Isabella was a safe space for Ruhi now, she didn't feel the need to hide anything from her.
The woman swore to herself to protect this little girl then. She'd failed to do so once, but she wouldn't fail this time around. There is no way she is going back to Magra. Isabella thought fiercely, eyes alight with affection as she looked at Ruhi's bright expression next to her.
"Since I didn't have anything else to do on some days, I read everything we had at the house. My aunt is really religious, so there wasn't a lot of non-religious texts around. Though I found a geography book when I was younger, and I've read it a hundred times! It's my dream to travel the world." Ruhi recalled shyly and Isabella smiled tenderly.
"You're at the right place then, aren't you?"
Orange light was filtering through the yurt when the girls realized how late it had gotten. Isabella guided Ruhi towards the common tent, where the members of the Circus decided while discussing around their meal to advance their departure from the village regarding their new recruit's peculiar situation. Ruhi had shared how she didn't want to leave without seeing her aunt but feared standing before her again. Hearing this, Penny decided to accompany her. During that time the Maestro Circus would be packing up, waiting afterwards until the two arrived before leaving.
Penny and Ruhi took on the walk leading to Aunt Magra's house. Around 45 minutes later, the brunette felt her shoulders sag as the top of the wooden cottage appeared. She jumped when the blue-eyed girl laid a hand on her shoulder and Ruhi glanced up. Seeing her soothing smile seemingly saying I'm right here, the young girl tightened her fists in resolution.
They marched up the front steps and knocked on the door. The wait was tense, and Ruhi felt apprehensive, right until the door swung open. Aunt Magra appeared in the doorway and her eyes darted towards Ruhi with razor sharp focus, face becoming purple in rage. She didn't waste one second, going to grab the little girl's hair.
"YOU-"
Penny snatched Magra's wrist before it could reach Ruhi, who was curling up in fear. Her eyes were murderous as she shoved the woman back towards the door.
"Don't touch her." She spat venomously and Aunt Magra's face shifted into surprise, then affront.
"Who are you? You have no right to interfere. She needs to learn her place. That little-" Penny cut her off without batting an eye.
"I don't care. Ruhi wants to speak with you." Penny told her coldly before turning towards Ruhi, who looked like a deer in headlights. The older teen's eyes turned gentle as she communicated with her silently and Ruhi felt a burst of courage, knowing she had Penny on her side. She opened and closed her mouth a few times until finally, she faced her aunt. She felt light-headed, but her words started leaving her lips anyway.
"I-I've endured a lot, Aunt Magra. You-You hurt me. Isolated me." Ruhi inhaled shakily, her head feeling light and her heart thumping a bit too quickly in her chest. "You made me think I was worse than thrash." She whispered with a trembling voice, gaining more confidence as she went on.
"But I'm done being scared and guilted into believing I deserve this. I'm done being hurt. I deserve l-love and kindness. And...and I know you don't love me. I can see it." Ruhi's voice choked up, eyes blown wide in fear, but the relief she felt was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She felt... Strong. Unattainable, with Penny's warmth right behind her.
Magra's brown eyes seemed almost black in rage, speechless from what she was hearing. However, Ruhi met them with only slight uncertainty, gulping down the doubt slithering up her throat. No regrets.
"That's why I'm leaving now. I'm not going to let you control me anymore." Ruhi finished in a last breath, feeling her knees shake. Only Penny's hand on her shoulder assured her this wasn't a dream.
In front of them, Aunt Magra blinked, taken aback, and not in a good way. Rather, the woman, her face red in utter disbelief and rage, seemed about to burst a vessel. A few seconds passed between them in strained silence, pressure building up inside of Magra until she eventually exploded.
"You... you ungrateful brat!" She screeched, and Ruhi flinched back into Penny, the older girl growling out a warning to Magra to 'stay the fuck back', who was deaf from her anger. The dark-haired woman took a step forward, and Penny frowned harshly, tugging Ruhi behind her with a protectiveness that slightly caught the girl off guard. She looked up with wide eyes toward the purple-haired, her throat feeling tight with a feeling she couldn't quite recognize, but her attention soon went back toward Magra when the woman pointed a sharp, red nail in her direction.
"You think you can just walk away, after everything I did for you?" Magra spit in her face, and a hidden part of Ruhi felt amused that she had guessed correctly what her aunt's response would be. The small girl strengthened her posture, leveling her aunt with a firm gaze, trying to hide her fear. Seeing Ruhi bloom this way beside her, Penny felt a proud smirk stretch across her lips, and she squeezed the girl's shoulder.
Though a part of Ruhi wanted to lash out and scream back at the woman, she felt like she shouldn't. She didn't want to be like her aunt Magra.
"Yes, I can, and I will. I have people who care about me now. Goodbye, Aunt Magra. I hope you find happiness, someday." She nodded once, gripping the back of Penny's shirt with trembling fingers before she promptly turned her back on her aunt.
As they began walking away, Ruhi heard mean curses being thrown at her, before the heavy sound of a wooden door slammed against their eardrums. The purple-haired teen didn't say a word, nor did she, and the two continued walking back down the road they had come from.
Neither did Penny comment as ugly sobs started racking Ruhi's frame once they were far enough.
Or when her tears stained Penny's shirt when she picked her up in her arms.
The older girl only contented herself with watching the moon rising in the darkening sky, focused on carrying Ruhi toward her new home.
Their home.
