High Schoolers are Monsters 12

Disclaimers I don't own Rosario Vampire, please support any to all official releases.

It was finally that time of year again, where students were stressing, and faculty members were pressuring their students left and right to do excel and go above and beyond with their studies.

That's right it was test season, and while everyone from the students living on campus all the way back to their folks at home were stressing about testing week, there was but only one student who seemed to not be all that worried about taking their tests.

Yup good ol' Tsukune as he walked down the school halls and listened to music and break down in a taunting dance while everyone had their nose deeps in their books that you thought that if it was a sweet piece of ass in front of them, they'd be rimming it like no tomorrow.

"Geez, this is giving me a friggin headache" groaned Kurumu, "Even I gotta admit, this test is really draining" said Moka as she silently sipped on her tea.

"Don't give up now guys, I'm literally offering you guys free hands on tutoring lessons, when I could've easily been making a mint on students who were literally tossing me their life savings for me to teach them" said Yukari.

"And we appreciate it, but good god, this… this is genuine torture" said Mizore as she slumped on the table, "Well keep the negative thoughts to yourselves, some of us are trying really hard to study, speaking of Yukari, mind reviewing some of my answers here" asked Gin.

"Of course, now let me see here" said Yukari as the club room doors opened to Tsukune who was casually eating Cheetos and downing a can of root beer.

"What up people" greeted Tsukune, "Tsukune, you're late for our study session" said Yukari.

"Is that what we're all doing today, I thought we'd be doing club activities" said Tsukune, "Seriously dude, how the hell can you be so carefree when everyone of us is desperately struggling to get a passing grade" said Gin.

"I mean you tell me, I'm honestly good ya know" said Tsukune as he was only telling half a truth.

Gym class was easy, knowing his skills on the court, Tsukune would only disappoint their coach if he half assed that days physical exams.

Drama, also not something he's worried about as he, Moka, and Kurumu, and their class were set to put on a live performance as their final exam the day after testing.

His English teacher, he bribed them with a new car, Ms. Nekonome, he set up reservations for her to eat at the most high end sushi restaurant in town.

Chemistry professor was hard to get around, but Tsukune got some illicit blackmail materials on this hopeless pervert peeping on the girls volleyball team while they were changing.

Really the only teacher he had a promise with, was his math teacher, arguably one of, if not the most slutily dressed person, that's right person, on campus that Tsukune was trying hard to find a means to bribe or blackmail.

"Well, I'm here guys, so let's get started, and teach me the Pythagorean Theorem" said Tsukune, "…Tsukune, we've gone passed the Pythagorean Theorem" said Moka with a derp face.

"Right now, Yukari is trying to simplify while revisiting rational and radical expressions" said Kurumu, "Dude, you're like… I can't even be sarcastic or snide to you since I really feel bad for you" said Gin.

"Sigh, I figured as much, tell me again what's the name of our math teacher again" asked Tsukune, "Her name is Ririko Kagome sensei, and she's hands down the most sluttiest person on campus, which is saying something from a high class beauty like me" said Kurumu.

"Rumor has it, she's slept with a few of her students, not that I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing" said Gin with a sigh, "I don't suppose you have evidence to that claim do you" asked Tsukune as he felt a sudden chill down his spine and the tip of a knife pointed at his Adams apple.

"You're seriously not thinking about whoring your self to some STD ridden licensed hooker now are you" warned Mizore.

"Mizore, calm down, you know Tsukune isn't like that… he did give you that ring after all" reasoned Moka with a pout as she was definitely jelly how Tsukune would gift a piece of mystic jewelry to Mizore of all girls.

"Of course not, I'm just saying if there's evidence to that claim, then that's my cue to take advantage of my current predicament" said Tsukune as Mizore slowly retracted her knife from Tsukune.

"Or you know, you can do the responsible thing and study for your actual exam like the rest of us" said Yukari, "Tsukune, I will gladly drop my text book, and help you bait out that predator if it means none of us have to take the stupid final exam" said Kurumu.

"Thanks, but honestly, I think I got things from here, I just need to find my DVD set on 'How to Speak like a Sexy Latin Lover feat. Arturo the Magical Latino Gato', and my how to guide on 'Being a Beta Male in a Skirt'" said Tsukune as he chose to dip out of the clubroom.

"Ok, be honest, some of the things Tsukune says and do is pretty weird, amiright" said Gin, "He may have his quirks, but come on, don't we all, I mean look at me, I cosplay like a witch everyday at school" said Yukari.

"You and I were former punks and delinquents with a reputation, before I did a 180 with my image" pointed out Moka.

"I'm literally the only girl in school who knows how skateboard like Tony Hawk, while being an excellent baker, proving I'm more than just a pretty face with some sweater puppies" said Kurumu.

"Throughout my life I've had my mother teacher to become the ideal housewife, in spite of spending most of my life as a shy recluse" said Mizore.

"… Point taken, I'm surrounded by fucking weirdos, disguised as hot girls and a cute loli" said Gin resulted in him taking a brass wash basin to the back of the head, knocking the man out.

"Ok seriously, where the hell do you manage to hide those things Yukari" said Kurumu as she notice that anytime someone deserved to get knocked upside the head into last night, Yukari was involved but never diverted her secrets.

"Not important, now let's get back to studying people" said Yukari as Moka whole heartedly agree as to not expose Yukari being a witch.

Later

After school that day, Tsukune had tried desperately to dig up any dirt on Kagome sensei, but none of the students were in the mood of entertaining his current goose chase.

Desperate, Tsukune opted to find out more about her in the teachers dorm room, which was separated from the students dorms all together.

Truly the only thing Tsukune discovered was that his math teacher had a lot of sex toys and sexy lingerie lying around, but no evidence of a boyfriend, much less any obvious signs to a serious relationship.

Returning back home, Tsukune sighed in defeat as he returned back to his apartment and shed out of his human disguise.

Kicking his shoes off, Tsukune had began to make some phone calls in hopes he can find a way to get through finals and not have to kiss his only 2 weeks of summer vacation gone.

"Hola, Hello, and Aloha. You've reached Arturo's mobile number, and I'm sorry that I couldn't pick up, if you're a sexy señorita or a hot beefcake looking for a booty call, please leave me your name along with the time and place. If it's any of my amigos both attending Yokai Academy or Osore Academy looking to purchase my world altering cocktails, leave me a message and I'll get back to you, if your working in for the Government, specifically the State of California, Nevada, Monterey Mexico, the Prefecture of British Columbia, Saskatchewan, or Osaka Japan… you'll never take me alive you hijo de putas, vetate I cojalle con un pinche perro, putos!" said Arturo's voicemail.

Dear god Arturo, who the hell did you piss off this time, thought Tsukune as he'd normally see this sort of behavior from someone like Sasame and Dai, which speaking of.

"Hey~ you reach Sasame, sorry I couldn't reach my phone, probably in the middle of snorting coke off my friends ass or getting hammered… or you know I'm to drunk and/or high to answer the phone, so don't call me, I'll call you. Oh and if this happens to be you Tsukune, just know that me and everyone still think about you everyday, love you" said Sasame with a smooch.

Glad to know she does care about me still, said Tsukune as he opted to trying reaching out all of his friends.

"Hi, this is Mia, I don't know if it's my friends or serfs who are listening to this message, but regardless know that the cutest princess to the mermaid kingdom will have one of my servants relay this message back to me, and reach out to me when it's my convenience. Ok so how do I end this 'voice message' as you call it? What Button? This o-" said Mia as her sheltered naiveness was always cute, and endearing to Tsukune, you know when she's not acting like a genocidal maniac for shits and giggles.

"Yo noob, you reached Daichi, I didn't bother picking up the phone cause you know, fuck off and fuck you, unless it's you dads, I promise to get back to you after I finish stabbing a motherfucker to death or setting some shit on fire. Also don't you dare call me fucking Daichi, only my dads and Mia are allowed to call me that, so call me Dai or prepare to die in a way that'll make my dads, the literally devils squirm" said Dai as his voice message clearly showed he never change, which was a good thing for Tsukune, considering he's everyone's Spicy Red Baby.

"Hey friend, you reach Sakon, sorry I couldn't answer the phone right away like a good boy, but I'm most likely doing good boy things like play ball with my cousins, doing fun pranks with Sasame, or being fed a homemade brownie by my grandma after blacking out the night before only to wake up naked and covered in blood in the forest again. I'm sorry what I was saying again? Oh yeah that's right I'll get back to you later and we can hang out friend" said Sakon as he was every bit pure in this insane, cruel, unforgiving world.

"You've got Ren, sorry, not likely sorry picking up, I'm probably busy embracing so new age culture before it becomes mainstream, or you know working on my yaoi manga series, with that being said if it's my editor, quit trying to dick ride me and let me work in peace, geez" said Ren as he was either working hard on ruining middle school girls with his work, or trying to hard to flex that he's the king of all hipsters, which in itself is ironic since being a try hard isn't exactly hip no matter the time period or current world events.

"Hello?" answered Aika catching Tsukune off guard, "Aika, hey, it's been a hot minute, how you've been" asked Tsukune.

"Tsukune, this is my business number, so either cut the pleasantries or end this conversation already" said Aika.

"I'm sorry, I've kinda been trying to reach out to everyone and got lost in nostalgia" said Tsukune as he knew this was Aika's cue to hang up on him.

"I've got 7 minutes. Starting now you've got 7 minutes of my life to spare, only if you answer me these 3 questions" said Aika, "Of course, ask away" said Tsukune.

"What are the humans like, are they as stupid, and violent, and contagious with their ignorance and bigotry" asked Aika.

"Not all of them, if I'm honest Aika, I have a friend, and she knows who I am and to lesser extent our world" said Tsukune.

"Are you fucking insane Tsukune, why the hell would you expose our very existence to these humans" shouted Aika.

"It's more complicated than that, trust me Aika, she's solid, she's got herself a secret that's frowned in human society and just generally acceptable within our society" said Tsukune.

"Sigh… have you flexed any goods that's exclusively found and used within our society" asked Aika, "Yeah, and they work fine with no one getting the wiser, in fact I wanted to ask you about getting illicit goods from you and Akari, and possibly Arturo" said Tsukune.

"Last question, does anyone know about who you are, besides that little friend of yours?" asked Aika completely ignoring Tsukune's business proposal, "Yeah, apparently there's a witch that goes to our school" said Tsukune.

"A witch huh? Makes sense, considering they're still human at the end of the day" said Aika, "Yeah, and not that we're necessarily looking for trouble, I've asked her and to our current knowledge we're the only monsters that attend school. Literally mind you, just about every other student and faculty member is a figurative monster in the very worse sense of the word" said Tsukune.

"Great to know. Now you wanted to conduct a long distance business plan with me" asked Aika, "Yeah, I've got finals going on soon, and I could use some help in cheesing it" said Tsukune.

"Cheesing it how? You've got to give me specific's Tsukune" said Aika, "I've got this walking day walker of a teach, which isn't me be sexist or anything like that, just stating facts, who's going to conduct our math final next week, and while I've been able to either bribe, blackmail, or am 100% confident in my skill for said subject, this one has become a tough nut to crack" said Tsukune.

"Have you found out anything about this teacher of yours" asked Aika, "She's got a huge sexual appetite if her wide array of sex toys and porn subscriptions have anything to say about her" explained Tsukune.

"I mean, have you considered whoring yourself out, cause let's be real none of us are virgins, most of the credit goes to our dear friend Sasame, and you and her are the only known people in this century to have successfully performed the Reverse Romanian Wilkinson" asked Aika as she may have recently diddled the principle only to use as blackmail material against him so she now runs the school.

"Not saying that idea hasn't cross my mind, but… it's complicated" said Tsukune.

"How's it complicated, just lift her on the nearest counter and spell the ABC's using your tongue on her lower mouth, followed by tossing her on the nearest bed, shove your cock in her and occasionally slap her ass while whispering sweet nothings in her ear" said Aika.

"I don't mean it's complicated to bang my teacher till she reaches an orgasm, I mean it's complicated cause I've attracted the attention of literally 4 of the cutest girls attending our school, and for context I want us to remain as friends, where at one point or another have either outright or hinted towards wanting a healthy committed relationship and probably won't be fond of the idea of me whoring myself out" explained Tsukune.

"Not to dismiss you, but honestly, and I mean with no disrespect, all of that and your claims of suddenly being the MC to harem romcom anime sounds like something ripped from your cousins large collection of manga and anime she's been binging" said Aika.

"Yeah, well it's the truth. Also you know my Kyoko?" asked Tsukune, "Yeah, ever since you've freed her she's been trying to catch up with modern times and trends, and she got herself caught in the anime rabbit hole and is showing no signs of wanting to climb out of there" said Aika.

"I'm… sorry" said Tsukune with embarrassment, "I mean, whatever makes her happy, and indirectly makes me rich, though I've got to say her obsession of spewing her OTP can be annoying 'I totally ship Art Legend with Ruby Rose and Naofumi Iwatani', which mind you is the most normal thing she proclaims" said Aika.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what's counts as cringe or upsetting" said Tsukune, "She's drawn over a thousand fanart of Naruto and Garfield the cat in a romantic relationship, or Michaelangelo of the TMNT being in a physical relationship with a bowl of Kellogg's cereal… Do you want me to read you her fanfic Asuka from Evangelion grooming Spike from Friendship is Magic into being her love toy while she NTR's him with a futanari version of Fluttershy" said Aika.

"Please god no, and I'm sorry, I'll try talking to her after this and see if she can dial it down a few notches" said Tsukune as he began to cringe over how his long lost cousin became a DeviantArt level degenerate and pervert.

"Can we go back to helping my situation, I don't know maybe you can reach out to Arturo into delivering one of those stat smoothies and a couple cans of brain in can" said Tsukune.

"Arturo is currently on the run from the law after he covered me in my smuggling operation out in California along with some new friends, I think you may like; Their names are Error a living internet creepypasta who causes nationwide blue screens when angered, and Chestnut, they're not only nonbinary but are the missing link between monsters and cryptids" informed Aika.

"They do sound like interesting people I'd like to meet, but that doesn't help my situation in dealing with my teacher" said Tsukune, "Sorry about that, I mean I can get you shipment of brain in the can, though I don't think it'll arrive fast enough for your exams" said Aika.

"Sigh, it's fine Aika, I guess I'll be SOL for my whole summer break" said Tsukune.

"Don't tell anyone I said this, cause I will stomp your balls into thin red paste with my favorite golf cleats, but if there's anyone who can pull through in a tight clutch Tsukune, it's you, so let that sink in; I believe in you" said Aika.

"Thanks Aika, I needed to hear that" said Tsukune, "Good, also your 7 minutes are up, I'll tell everyone you said hi" said Aika before she hanged up.

Needed some words of encouragement, Tsukune looked back to how he's done the impossible with his friends.

He's helped Daichi over summer break to come out to his dads that he may not want to be the next ruler of Hell, but instead a hairstylist, he's helped Mia and Sakon turn their lemonade stand into a trillion dollar empire, and hell he's even helped Sasame into not only forgive, but mend her broken relationship with her father after he accidentally killed his own wife and youngest son in a car accident.

But before Tsukune could actually come up with a plan, he had to make one more phone call.

"ZOMG, Tsukune how's my favorite cousin in the whole wide world doing!" exclaimed Kyoko as Tsukune reeled his head back a little.

"Hey Kyoko, how's it feel to be back home and free from your imprisonment" asked Tsukune, "It's been great, I mean granted I'm hounded by a literal blood cult who wants me to revert into this nonbinary universe destroying monster they'd been worshipping me as for close to a decade along with an obnoxious incel who I'm this close into robbing him of all of his insanity, but hey you know what there's anime, there's websites called for me to explore, oh and I made a friend who's only a month old" said Kyoko.

"That's good to hear, but listen, not to hound your or anything, but can you not read some of your more cringiest fanfic's to people, I mean so of the things you say are discomforting, and I'm not naming names" said Tsukune.

"Boo~ Tsukune, boo. But I'll comply to your little requests since you did free me, but come Halloween get your booty back here and do a couples cosplay with me, ok" said Kyoko.

"Fine, I'll do that. So how's your family and my folks doing these days" asked Tsukune, "Parents couldn't be more happy to have me around, and have been supportive of my new hobbies, as for your parents, auntie has been living the life of a house wife, and uncle is doing everything he can to prevent a second great economic collapse and depression you know" said Kyoko.

"That all sounds stressful, but dad's been doing this since the very concept of money so I believe in him" said Tsukune.

"What's new with you cuz" asked Kyoko, "Just finding a way to cheese one of my finals, since I've got a horndog of a teacher whom I've yet to break or bribe, and before you, ask, no I ain't whoring myself out. Not this time at least" said Tsukune.

"Wasn't going to suggest that, but you know, why not trying scaring her stiff on the day of your exam" suggested Kyoko as Tsukune was about to retort, but honestly in the grand scheme of getting out of doing test, this was actually a solid plan do to how simple it is.

"Kyoko, I love cuz" said Tsukune, "Aw, I love you too cuz, though if you want to show that you mean it, see if you can get me a garage kit model of Naruto and Garfield the cat, which spoiler alert, they'll be the bases for our cousin couple Halloween costume this year" said Kyoko.

"Deal, anyways, I gotta go cuz talk to you later" said Tsukune, "By Tsukune" said Kyoko.

Next Week

Without a hitch and needing to do anything to upset his little harem, Tsukune had waited till the night before to scare Kagome sensei by making it feel like her room was surrounded by snakes, her own personal phobia, which prevented her from being present in class today.

Needless to say everyone passed out of a technicality, in spite of many of the teacher protest, but you know the principle didn't press on the matter do to a student leaving him a handsome donation of nun porn, and cheap whiskey from the States.

This meant everyone in the newspaper club was ready to enjoy their summer break.

"Well guys, we've got the next month and a week to ourselves, so that leaves the question, what do you guys want to do for summer break" said Yukari.

"What's there not to do, skate at the local skatepark, go to the arcade, have a few one on one romantic dates with Tsukune till he finally caves to be my boyfriend" said Kurumu as she wrapped Tsukune's arm in her cleavage.

"Sorry tits McGee, but I've made arrangements with momma to let us borrow one of our hot spring inns for the next month, and get Tsukune acquainted with my parents" said Mizore as she wrapped herself on Tsukune's free arm.

"Guys, listen, I'm flattered you all have these amazing plans and arrangements in mind, but I've got my own agenda for this summer" said Tsukune getting everyone's attention.

"What do you have planned Tsukune" asked Moka as she wanted to take a 1 week, 10 day tops, road trip just between the 2 of them.

"Well, you know go home, and connect with not only my family, but my friends as well" said Tsukune as the girls completely forgot that Tsukune not only had a life, but literally a group of friends and an ex-lover waiting for him back home.

"Well before you guys start packing back home to your folks, you may want to stick around for about a week" called Gin as he stood next to Nekonome sensei.

"That's right, as members of the school newspaper club, you're all invited to a one week vacation with your club members to a beach town that's a few hours west of here, that is if you want to join" said Nekonome sensei.

"Beach town, you can count me in" said Kurumu, "Beach towns are known for having a relaxing and down to earth vibe, so count me in" said Yukari.

"I've always wanted to go to a beach town" said Mizore, "I mean, we don't necessarily have to actually go to the beach, right" said Moka as all eyes fell on Tsukune.

"Sigh, I guess my parents and friends could wait for one more week. When do we head out" asked Tsukune, "Tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp, be there, or go home" said Gin

"Then it's settled tomorrow will be the start of the News Paper Club week at the beach" said Nekonome sensei as everyone cheered in joy.

With fall approaching and summer coming to a close, I feel it was appropriate for me to write this chapter, with minimal in spelling and grammar errors as we fleshed out these soon to be OC's in a later chapter.

But until then, be safe, be good people, be humble, and please support your local fandom communities.

This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3