My Favorite Regret

Chapter Five: I Wanna Be With You

Lily had just turned off the lights and was preparing to leave when the door opened and light surrounded a figure at the door. "The studio's closed until eight am, hours are listed on the door." She put her jacket on and paid no heed to the shadow coming closer until the person was right next to her. Then she smelled it, or rather him.

"I thought it was time you and I had a chat." Sirius looked around. "Maybe somewhere else?" He hated dance studios. Reminded him of when his parents insisted he take lessons. Sirius shivered at the thought. 'Mrs. Miller… Sadistic bint.'

Lily lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing, and grabbed her purse. "Alright, there's a cafe across the street that's always open."

Sirius held the door open for her. "Perfect, I am a little hungry."

Lily could only think some things never change. It seemed like Sirius and James were always hungry in school. "They have good tea and cake."

Sirius sat down and after they ordered, then he looked at Lily intently. "I have just one question." he waited for Lily to lock eyes with him. "Do you intend to muck about with his heart again?"

Lily looked down. "I never wanted to cause him pain. I…" She looked back up. "I have no intention of hurting James. I know you probably think I am cruel and I hurt him on purpose, but there was a reason I was the way I was. And before you ask I think he deserves to know before you."

Sirius nodded and drank some tea. "I just don't think he would survive if you disappeared from his life again."

Lily swallowed the cake in her mouth. "James and I will always be connected through our child. We will always be in each others lives. We worked well together as head students and I think we can work together as parents too."

Sirius nodded. "But are you ever going to give him a chance?"

Lily smiled. "That depends."

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "On…?" After a minute of silence. "You're not going to tell me are you?" Another minute of silence. "I swear you take pleasure in screwing with people."

Lily laughed. "I will get back to you on that."

Sirius frowned. "You're evil." He took a bite of his cake and then another. "This is fantastic!"

Lily smiled widely. "I told you the cake was good here. But personally Maddy's cake is the better."

Sirius perked up. "She bakes?" He swallowed. "Is that what she does for a living?"

Lily shook her head. "She could, but she and I are both dance teachers."

Sirius grinned. "Really, does that mean she dirty dances too?"

Lily laughed. "It means she and I teach dancing." At his puppy dog eyes she relented. "Alright, she knows exotic dancing too."

Sirius smirked. "Did she say anything about me?"

Lily sipped her tea. "She didn't have to. I can read her pretty easy, but yes, she mentioned you."

Sirius smirked. "And what did she say?"

Lily rolled her eyes at his smugness. "She said you have a very nice bum and that you are 'like such a babe'." She imitated Maddy for the last bit.

Sirius smirked wider. "If a gent were to ask her out how would he go about it?"

Lily shook her head. "Oh no, you have to figure that out yourself. I'm no match maker, it always ends up bad for the match maker. Especially when the couple in question have commitment issues."

Sirius pouted and did puppy eyes. "Just a little insight? Does she like the romantic stuff or is she the type who…"

Lily interrupted. "Maddy is a lot like you. Do something original."

Sirius drank. "Something original…" His eyes lit up. "Got it."

Lily finished her tea. "Glad to help but I'm going to get a few hours before I meet up with James."

"Just don't break him." Sirius warned her just before she went through the door.

.: Potter Manor :.

Lily tucked a stray hair behind her ear as she waited for James. Apparently he was running late. Lily straightened her necklace for the millionth time. She was nervous. If she gave into her feelings, would he push her away? Did he even still want her? She looked up to see James walk in raking his hair into a semi normal state with his fingers, but it was still unruly. She noticed a few scratches from the night before, but nothing major. "I could have come later if you needed more time to rest."

James shook his head. "I just forgot to set an alarm is all. Besides I didn't want to wait to see you." He offered her a seat on the cloud-like sofa.

Lily shook her head. "If I sit down on that sofa I will just fall asleep again."

James laughed. "Okay, how about I show you the rose garden? It was my mother's pride and joy."

Lily nodded. "That's sounds lovely." She paused. "Wait, is that how you were able to give me roses all year long?"

James grinned. "I had my mum grow the Chantilly Cream roses you love so much. At least after she grounded me for using some of her prized red roses."

Lily smiled. "I think my mum would have killed me if I stole flowers from her garden. She…" Lily looked down a moment. "Anyways I'm anxious to see this rose garden."

James frowned. "Why do you do that?"

Lily lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "Do what?"

"You start to tell me something personal, then change the subject or run away."

Lily sighed running her hand through her hair. "I just…" Another sigh. "I'm not used to telling people about me and my past. There are details that even Maddy doesn't know." She stared at her shoes a moment. "When I found out I could do magic I showed my sister and she rejected me. I became 'the freak'. Severus introduced me to the world of magic and made me feel like I wasn't a freak. Then… you know how that one went. Maddy is the only person I ever let in who didn't betray me or make me feel like scum. So I have always have walls up to protect myself."

James took her hand in his larger one. "I wouldn't do that to you."

Lily looked at their hands. "I know you think I'm perfect…"

James chuckled. "Lily, nobody's perfect. I just know you are the one that suits me best."

Lily hoped that was true. "I'm just saying have a little patience."

James lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of her hand. "I can do that, for a while at least." He stopped infront of an archway that went to the rose garden. There were all sorts of roses around white marble structures that looked like ancient Greek ruins with small waterfalls, the occasional bench, and fountains. There were also little firefly looking lights just floating around the roses.

Lily's jaw dropped. It was perfect. Never had she seen a prettier garden. Lily closed her mouth but took in the roses. Her mum would have loved to have seen this place. She felt wetness on her cheek and touched it. Then she began laughing.

James looked like she was insane. "Are you okay?"

Lily stopped laughing. "Sorry I was thinking I barely cry, at anything, and I'm crying because of a rose garden. These hormones are hellish."

James took her to a bench and they sat. "There's nothing wrong with crying."

Lily looked down the smile slipping from her lips. "There was in my house."

James lifted her chin. "Why?"

Lily shook her head. "Not now, I don't want to think or talk about it just now."

James ran his thumb over the smooth skin of her hand. "Okay, so how about the talk?"

Lily nodded. "Well, how do you feel about being a dad?"

James grinned widely. "Great, I told you I wanted you to mother my children some years ago."

Lily laughed. "Yes, but I think you meant to try more than once before that happened."

James pretended to think on it. "True, but it always was the result I wanted."

Lily rolled her eyes but her smile betrayed her. "Okay, I should warn you now I am not the type of girl who gets married because she's pregnant. If and when I get married it will be because of love." She put her hand over his mouth before he could start professing his undying love. "And you have to know me before you can truly love me, and there are some important things you have no idea about." She lifted her hand.

James nodded. "Good to know. Would you be offended if I asked you to come live here, at least while you're pregnant. There's usually someone here and I don't want you to be alone if, merlin forbid, something happens."

Lily opened her mouth then shut it. "Alright." She thought for a minute. "No doubt you have many rooms here?" At his nod she continued. "Can Maddy come too? She's like a sister to me."

James smiled. "Of course, we have plenty of rooms. Besides I think Sirius is a little enamored with her."

Lily nodded. "Knowing them it will be either a one time thing or true love."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"They are so alike. I used to think Maddy was Sirius in female form. A person looking for action. When I came to know her better I realized it wasn't the action…" At his look she started again. "Well not only the action. She had such a high opinion of love that she was looking for the fairy tale. When a guy didn't measure up she was off looking for Mr. Right. No need to settle for Mr. Average or Mr. Not-so-bad."

James nodded. "I think you're right."

Lily smirked. "Of course I am."

James looked into her eyes, his face drawing nearer to hers. Just before their lips touched he spoke. "Stay with me?"

Lily locked eyes with him. "Tonight?"

James tenderly brushed his lips against hers. "As long as you'll allow."

Lily's lips were tingling from just the feel of his. "Tonight." She confirmed, then made a happy noise as James kissed her. Lily was surprised when James lifted her into his arm bridal style and apparated them to his room. He set her down on the bed and he just took a moment to look at her with her lips freshly kissed, her chest rising and falling and her hair upon his pillow. "Are you going to keep staring or are you going to kiss me?"

James kissed her forehead, then her lips. "You know Lily watching is one of my favorite hobbies."

Lily laughed. "You need to get a new hobby." She flipped them so she was on top.

James put his hands on her hips. "I'm working on it."

Lily leaned down and kissed him. "About time." She took off her shirt then started unbuttoning his shirt. She slid the shirt off his shoulders and reached down to his belt and undid it before taking it off too. His hands were groping her breasts through her bra before adding it to the pile of clothes. Lily moaned lightly and gyrated her hips as his thumb grazed her sensitive nipples. She took off his trousers as he took off her skirt and knickers. She now was completely nude and he was in his boxers.

James flipped them again so he was on top. "Just when I don't think you could be anymore breath taking."

Lily blushed. "Wait until I get all fat and whiny." She arched her back so their chests pressed together.

James smiled against her lips. "You'll still be beautiful to me."

Lily pressed her lips to his. "I think you're biased."

James grinned. "I'm in love."

Lily cut off the conversation by wrapping her legs around him and grinding against him. She claimed his mouth with hers. Lily placed her hand on chest and trailed it down and down until she slid her hand into his boxers. Her hand surrounded him and she moved her fist up and down on him. He immediately thrust into her hand. Lily felt his hand trail from her hip, down the outside of her leg to her knee, then back up the inner thigh to her wet curls. Lily moaned loudly as two fingers thrust inside her at the same pace she set on him. She sped up her movements and James stopped her.

James kissed her pouting lips. "Don't worry, we are far from done." He took off his boxers and crawled between her outstretched legs and sank inside her. "So good."

Lily nodded in agreement, then he brushed against her spot and she moaned loudly. "Right there, just like that." Her body arched everytime he hit her spot and soon her whole body was tensing, her toes curled in delight, she was seeing bright colors, and her body was floating. Lily was panting and limp, but she could feel James was still hard inside her. "Give me a minute."

James held her close and kissed her forehead. "60, 59, 58…"

Lily swatted his arm. "You know what I mean." She was covered in sweat and took a moment to get her breathing under control. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. James moved inside her and hit her spot and her body reacted by taking more of him inside her. Lily moaned into his mouth. She flipped them so he was on his back again. She rode him as his hands covered and played with her breasts. She could feel the coil inside her tightening. She panted in his ear. "I'm almost there."

James nodded. "Me too." She let out a breathy "James!" then he felt her squeeze him even more than before and she was over the edge. He finally let himself follow.

Lily laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. "I'm not moving for at least another hour." She warned. "I think all my bones melted."

James chuckled. "Are you trying to say I'm the best you've ever had?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whoever told you smugness was sexy lied."

James rubbed her back, barely touching the skin. "I prefer to think of it as confidence."

Lily kissed his chest. "When it comes to your ego its smugness."

James brushed some hair off her face. "Sorry I'll work on it."

Lily kissed his lips this time. "I don't want you to change. I like you the way you are."

James kissed the tip of her nose before kissing her lips. "Ditto."

Lily nodded. "Let's talk…" She yawned. "…in the morning."

"Goodnight, love." James pulled the blanket over them and held onto her as she slept. After an hour he himself fell asleep.