Same Old Song and Dance

Ch. 1:

"The Reunion"

Author's Note: I do not own the M*A*S*H characters or anything related to the movie or show. This fic is just for fun and this is my first M*A*S*H fic, so please, be nice. Also too, I modeled this fic after the Aerosmith song of the same name, another thing I do not own.

It was June 6,1964. The Korean war had since been over and everybody who had been lucky enough to make it home had since gone on to their own lives, even the gang of the 4077th. Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce fully recovered from his meltdown, started his own practice, and was in a steady relationship with a woman named Nicole. Their relationship had been going strong for over a year which was rare for the girl crazy Pierce. Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt was still happily married to his lovely wife Peg and had a strong father/daughter bond with Erin. Major Charles Emerson Winchester III was still as snobby as ever, but managed to become a very well-known and well respected surgeon in Boston and was starting to fall for the daughter of a Winchester family friend despite his efforts of trying to hide it. Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan was still looking for "Mr. Right", Sergeant Maxwell "Max" Q. Klinger was still married to his second wife Soon-Lee despite his family's objections, Father Mulcahy had his hearing restored and was a hospital chaplain, and Colonel Sherman T. Potter was still married to his beloved Mildred and had since become a grandfather again three times over, making Mildred and him the proud grandparents of seven grandkids.

Even though everybody was settled back into their civilian lives, memories of the 4077th would resurface on occasion, despite their dislike of the war. Nobody kept in touch despite promising to do so after the armistice was signed. With the memories fresh in his mind, B.J. thought about the party he organized for the loved ones of everybody at the 4077th all those years ago and came to the decision to have another party in the same place only this time, it'll be the old crew of the 4077th plus anybody they brought with them. Upon approaching her with the idea, Peg couldn't be happier than to help contact everybody and organize this special occasion. Much to the surprise of the Hunnicutts, everybody accepted the invitation and the occasion was on. Granted, it was scheduled for the week after next, but it was going to be worth it, seeing everybody again and catching up on old times. Happy that it was smooth sailing, B.J. was out on his porch enjoying the view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge.

"B.J.?" Peg came out onto the porch and sat in a chair next to her husband.

"Yes, Peg?" B.J. turned to his wife.

"I'm so excited that you're going to see your old MASH friends, again. Especially Hawkeye, who you have said was your very best friend. I can't wait to see the relatives again like his father Mr. Pierce, Mildred Potter, Mr. and Mrs. Klinger, Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, and all of them." Peg put her hand on top of her husband's.

"Well, it wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't helped me." B.J. leaned forward and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"That's what wives are supposed to do." Peg smiled.

"That and other things, too. Anyways, it'll be good to see eveyrone again, especially Hawk. I wonder if he's managed to settle down with a special somebody." B.J. nodded, before looking up at the night sky.

"I'm sure he has." Peg replied.

"I don't know. Hawk was always one to chase every girl that came within his vicinity. We shall see when the reunion takes place." B.J. shrugged.


*A few weeks later*

Today was the day. The day the Hunnicutts have all been waiting for. The day the 4077th banded together, but for a much different and more positive reason. B.J. could hardly contain his excitement and it only increased when one Hawkeye Pierce was the first one to come through the door with his girlfriend Nicole on his arm.

"Hawk, you son of a gun! You haven't changed a bit despite the war having been over all those years ago." B.J. hugged Hawkeye and clapped him on the back.

"Beej, you look great and I see you shaved off the mustache." Hawkeye squeezed B.J. in this hug.

"Well, the mustache got itchy and made me look older." B.J. chuckled.

"Beej, Teddy Roosevelt looked older with and without a mustache. You-You never age. Mustache or no." Hawkeye shook his head.

"Thanks, Hawk. However, the mustache also tickled Peg's nose." B.J. slowly pulled out of the hug.

"How can a mustache tickle a nose when it's place is right underneath it?" Hawkeye asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, the only way you'll find out is if you grow one and kiss a woman. You'll find out soon enough." B.J. told him.

"How long will that take?" Hawkeye asked.

"Well, for me, growing a mustache was easy. I just quit shaving my upper lip. With you, it would take 100 years." B.J. laughed.

"Oh, ha, ha! Very funny!" Hawkeye gave him a look, before joining in the laughter.

"Speaking of women, Hawk, this is my wife Peg. Peg, this is the infamous Hawkeye Pierce." B.J. introduced his wife and best friend to each other.

"Nice to meet you, Hawkeye." Peg shook his hand.

"Likewise and Beej, infamous? Come on now. I may be dashing, good looking, appetizing, and all, but infamous?" Hawkeye shook Peg's hand, before putting his hand over his chest, flipping his hair around, and posing like a model.

BJ and Peg didn't say anything and just looked at each other, before laughing and shaking their heads. BJ could seen mouthing: "Hawk sure hasn't changed much since the war ended. He's still the same Hawk Pierce." to Peg, who just nodded.

"Oh and before I forget, while we're on the topic of women, Beej, Peg, this is my girlfriend Nicole. Nicole, this is BJ Hunnicutt and his wife Peg." Hawkeye introduced the trio.

"Nice to meet you, Nicole." Peg shook Nicole's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you. BJ shook her other hand.

"Likewise. Hawkeye tells me all about you two, especially the one he calls "Beej"." Nicole shook their hands.

"Pierce, Hunnicutt!" a familiar voice excitedly called out.

"Col. Potter!" BJ and Hawkeye turned around and greeted their former CO, before going over and hugging him while Mildred Potter made her way to Peg and Nicole.

"How have you two been? It doesn't feel like it has been that long ago, even though it has." Col. Potter had a huge smile on his face, "Mildred couldn't wait to see Peg Hunnicutt again and by the looks of it, Pierce, does that other lovely lady belong to you?"

"She sure does, Colonel. She is my girlfriend Nicole." Hawkeye looked over at Nicole who was mingling with Mrs. Hunnicutt and Mrs. Potter and smiled.

"How long, Hawk?" BJ turned to Hawkeye.

"For over a year." Hawkeye couldn't take his eyes off Nicole.

"Over a year? That's a-" Col. Potter was cut off.

"A rarity for me? I know. I'm surprised that I've been committed to her for this long. Usually, it's a one time thing and I already have many other girls, but there's just something about Nicole that I cannot put my finger on it." Hawkeye explained.

"So, it looks like your days of chasing women are coming to a close." Col. Potter said with a bit of surprise in his voice.

"As surprising as it may be, Colonel, but I think they are. I think Nicole is the one for me." Hawkeye nodded.

"It is surprising. I mean you were a womanizer, Hawk. You were only after women for a little...hanky panky, if you will." BJ pointed out, also sounding a bit surprised.

"Well, I think those days are long over. The days of chasing every girl, I mean." Hawkeye scratched the back of his head.

"Pierce, Hunnicutt, Col. Potter?" a female voice called out.

"Hot Lips! I never thought you'd show up seeing as you did once think of Beej, Trapper, and I as degenerates." Hawkeye teased before greeting Maj. Houlihan with a hug.

"Now, Pierce, those were the words of Frank Burns. I merely went along with them, even though, he was right. Anyways, in all seriousness, how have you, Hunnicutt, and Col. Potter been?" Margaret gave him a look, before smiling, clearly indicating she was genuinely glad to see Hawkeye, BJ, and Col. Potter.

"Still happily married to Peg and I don't have a mustache." BJ gave her a side hug.

"Still married to Mildred, have a new horse named Sophie II, and more grandkids plus, I got bored with retirement and have been keeping busy in a hospital. How are you, Margaret?" Col. Potter hugged her.

"Well, I'm a successful head nurse at a hospital. However, I'm still in search of my "Mr. Right"." Margaret had a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Don't worry, honey. You'll find him or he'll find you. Either way, you won't be alone forever." Col. Potter told her in a fatherly way.

"I hope so. However, I've had my doubts since my parents divorced and my unsuccesful relationships with Scully, my ex husband Donald, and Frank Burns. However, Frank Burns seems to be on my mind more and more these days. I wonder how he is. Then again, what do I care? He has a wife." Margaret looked up for a moment, only to shake her head.

"Margaret, we understand your doubts, but there's more fish in the ocean and there's better men than the likes of Scully, Donald, and Frank." Hawkeye put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah. Besides, even if you did bump into any of them, you could still be friends with them." BJ suggested.

"Oh no. You can't be friends with an ex spouse and you can't have what I had with Frank and Scully and be platonic friends afterwards." Margaret shook her head.

Before anybody could say anything, an aristocratic looking woman walked in and looked around, catching the attention of Potter, Hawkeye, BJ, and Margaret.

"I wonder who she belongs to." Hawkeye whispered to BJ.

"I think this is the place, Charles. Now we-Oh, Charles! Get in here!" the woman peeked out the door and called out, before coming back in.

Major Charles Emerson Winchester III came walking in, looking as snobby as ever, and went over to the woman. This answered Hawkeye's question.

"Winchester!" Col. Potter called out, waving at him.

"Oh, Colonel. Fancy seeing you here. I see Pierce, Hunnicutt, and Margaret are here, too. The gang is almost back together." Charles walked over to them and greeted in a somewhat kind, somewhat snooty way.

"Nice to see you too, Charles." BJ patted him on the shoulder.

"Who's the your lady friend?" Hawkeye asked.

"Now, Pierce, keep your hands and whatever else to yourself. She is no mere lady friend. She is the daughter of a Winchester family friend. Her name is Michelle Barbeau. She is an aristocrat and a good friend." Charles turned his attention to Michelle who was also mingling with Mildred, Nicole, and Peg, much to his surprise.

"A good friend? She's more than a good friend to you, Winchester." Col. Potter sensed that the snobby major and the french girl were more than just friends.

"No, no, colonel. We are just friends. Just...friends." Charles insisted, "Though, I do admit she is pretty. Still though, she is just a friend of mine."

Hawkeye, Margaret, Potter, and BJ all gave each other a knowing look, as if to indicate that they knew Charles had obvious feelings for Michelle and was trying his best and terribly failing at being modest about it, as modesty wasn't really his thing.

"Colonel Potter, Hunnicutt, Hawkeye, Majors Houlihan and Winchester!" a familiar voice greeted.

"Max Klinger, you sly dog! How are you?" BJ hugged Klinger the minute he came over to him and the group while Soon-Lee went over to the women.

"Klinger, I don't recognize you without a dress or your military uniform." Hawkeye commented.

"Nice to see you too, sir." Klinger chuckled.

"I see you and Soon-Lee came back to the states." Hawkeye had a smile on his face, "I thought you two were staying in Korea."

"We thought so too, but we couldn't find her parents, so we came back here and well, we live near the hospital where Col. Potter and Father Mulcahy work. Especially since my family refused to accept her and I refused to leave Soon-Lee. After all, I deserve my happiness, too." Klinger told him.

"Why would your family object? Shouldn't families be supportive?" Hawkeye was a bit thrown off.

"They should, but you have to remember that I am Lebanese and the Lebanese culture, like all cultures, do not accept mixed marriages and children of mixed races. They have to be pure Lebanese, Arabic, Korean like we found out with that baby that time, or any culture or else, well let's not bring up the details." Klinger explained and cringed at the last part.

"People and their intolerance, what's the big idea?" Hawkeye shook his head in disgust.

"Who knows, Pierce? It's been going on since before any of us were born and will continue to go on." Col. Potter shook his head.

"It doesn't make it right, though." Hawkeye added.

"No, it doesn't. Nothing does, but it's not going to stop no matter how much we hate it." Col. Potter replied.


*A few moments later*

As the conversations shifted back and forth from personal lives to the days at the 4077th plus the women (Nicole, Mildred, Peg, and Michelle) talking about their lives with the guys, Hawkeye was getting himself a plate of food when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Beej, I said I would get you a plate. Just relax." Hawkeye said in a lighthearted way.

"Who's this Beej?" a voice asked.

"Hey, your voice sounds familiar, but I can't quite place your face." Hawkeye recognized the voice, but still had his back to the person.

"Turn around and you'll see." the voice said.

Hawkeye did just that and got a deer in the headlights look when he made eye contact with the person.

"Hello, Hawk." the person greeted, smiling.

"Trap? Oh my-Trap! Trapper!" Hawkeye's expression remained unchanged.

"Well, are you going to stand there looking like you saw a ghost or are we going to catch up on old times?" Trapper was still smiling.

"Oh, we'll catch up on old times. However, I have always been wondering ummmm..." Hawkeye paused.

"Wondering what?" Trapper asked.

"How could you?" Hawkeye's expression went from shocked to annoyed.

"How could I what?" Trapper had a confused look on his face, clearly thrown off by his friend's reaction.

"How could you leave like you did? Go back home from Korea and not leave a note or even wait for me to come back from Tokyo in order to say goodbye?! How could you do that, Trap? I thought we were friends." Hawkeye was clearly pissed off.

"You thought? Hawk, we still are friends." Trapper put his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.

"The hell we are!" Hawkeye pushed Trapper's hand away.

"What do you mean by that?" Trapper asked.

"You damn well know what I mean, Trap. You just up and went home without even saying goodbye! Pretty rotten move, if you ask me." Hawkeye turned away from Trapper and ran a hand through his hair.

"Hawk, I told Radar to pass a kiss down to you. Plus, aren't you being a little touchy?" Trapper folded his arms.

"A little touchy? Trapper, you left during a very tragic time. Henry was killed on his way home and well, I never admitted it, but he was like an older brother or even like a father to me in a sense and when he was killed, I felt as if a piece of me went with him. Of course, Radar felt the worst of the grief, but still, I was grieving and had to go on R&R, because all I could think about was Henry and how he was killed. Then, you get discharged and don't even wait for me to come back, so we can send you off. You just go off like you did. Now, that may be touchy to you, but to me, it was like I lost two great friends at the same time." Hawkeye turned around to face Trapper and almost sounded like he was going to break down in tears, but tried his best to contain and compose himself.

Trapper didn't say a word and just stood there, taking in everything Hawkeye had said.

*Trapper's POV*

'I get what Hawk is saying, but that was all a long long time ago. Why is he still upset?'

I look up for a moment and nod a little.

'Then again, if it had been the reverse, I would've wondered the same thing. I mean Hawk and I were the best of friends. I'd like to think that we are still the best of friends, but since I left without saying goodbye and never wrote or anything, I'll understand if he doesn't think so. I did leave not too long after Henry was killed and since Hawk, like others, was still in the mourning process, I could've held it off, but I guess I was too eager to get back home that I didn't even think.'

I shake my head in disgust.

'No, McIntyre, you didn't think. Plus, not only did you lose a wife through divorce, you may have lost your best friend as well.'

I get a pained look on my face at the thought.

'Dammit to hell! Hawkeye Pierce was the only true friend I ever had and probably will have and to think he's still hurting from my sudden departure while he could've used a confidant during the grieving process of the sudden death of Henry Blake just sickens me now that I really think about it.'

I look at the ground for a moment.

'Henry. Poor poor Henry. Never got the chance to see Lorraine and his kids ever again. Got the chance to get home and gets killed in transit. Poor Henry. We'll never forget you. Rest in Peace, dear friend.'

I sigh deeply.


*Outside of Trapper's mind*

As Hawkeye and Trapper stood and looked at each other in total silence, another person walked up behind Trapper.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't McIntyre and Pierce. I knew I'd recognize you in a split second." the voice said.

"Oh my..." Trapper started to say, only to be cut off.

"God." Hawkeye finished Trapper's sentence.

To Be Continued...

R.I.P.

Donald Sutherland (Original Hawkeye Pierce)

July 17, 1935-June 20, 2024

Roger Bowen (Original Lt. Col. Henry Blake)

May 25, 1932-February 16, 1993

Sally Kellerman (Original Hot Lips Houlihan)

June 2, 1937-February 24, 2022

Rene Auberjonois (Original Father Mulcahy)

June 1, 1940-December 8, 2019

David Ogden Stiers (Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III)

October 31, 1942-March 3, 2018

William Christopher (Father John Mulcahy)

October 20, 1932-December 31, 2016

Harry Morgan (Col. Sherman T. Potter)

April 10, 1915-December 7, 2011

Wayne Rogers (Capt. Trapper John McIntyre)

April 7, 1933-December 31, 2015

Larry Linville (Maj. Frank Burns)

September 29, 1939-April 10, 2000

McLean Stevenson (Lt. Col. Henry Blake)

November 14, 1927-February 15, 1996

Happy early 4th of July!

BJ: What's happening?

Radar: I think we have an unexpected visitor.

Hawkeye: Radar! What the hell? Where did you-

Col. Potter: What in the name of Marco Blessed Polo is going on here?

Trapper: R&R!