Author note: After watching episode 2 of season 7 and seeing this scene and how flustered and breathless Lord John was at seeing her I felt like this needed to be written.


"Lord John!"

His blood runs cold at the sound of her voice, one he would recognize anywhere and with William beside him he prays he is wrong. But his worst fears are confirmed as her red hair enters his field of vision, unchaperoned and walking right up to them. For a moment he can only stare, somehow, he nearly forgot just how lovely she is.

"Mistress MacKenzie…my dear…" he greets with an awkward bow, "How…delightful to encounter you again." When last they parted, he told Brianna that he could never tell her brother about her. And now, after an expectant glare from William, he is about to do the one thing he never thought he would, "May I present my son, Lieutenant Lord Ellesmere…"

"William Ransome…" John tells himself he is not jealous as his son leans in, kissing the back of her hand, "Your servant, Madame."

"And may I present, Mistress Brianna MacKenzie…" John says, unable to stop staring at her. The memory of the last time they were in Wilmington together is one he suppresses. The way she looks now, not in a fancy dress or made up to impress society, she is even more vibrant and beautiful. All he knows is that she, too, was supposed to be embarking on a long journey but she seems to have stayed.

"Have we met before, Mistress MacKenzie?" William's voice pulls him back.

Oh dear God…

"No. No, I would have remembered, but I have seen a portrait of you…" she responds, doing a remarkable job of acting like he is just another soldier she has met on the street.

"Mistress MacKenzie is the daughter of James Fraser."

"Ah, yes, the groom from Helwater when I was a child."

"Yes." Turning back to Brianna he smiles, "And what brings you to Wilmington?"

"I am on my way to Boston…"

"Boston?" he clarifies, and she nods. The enthusiasm of her response renders him speechless. Given her father's position and rank he above everyone would know there is no more dangerous place to send his daughter. And Jamie is sending her alone, as she did not say 'we' are going.

"It's a long story." She tells him before he can ask. It's a response that he has become accustomed to with this family, and as of this moment he will no longer be accepting it. As soon as he is able to get her alone or the three of them together, he plans to settle in for however long it takes them to tell it. "But what about you? I thought you had gone back to England."

"My regiment has been deployed here to quell the trouble." His son says before he could speak, "And Papa…insisted he accompany me on the journey."

"I merely thought it an opportune time to visit Mount Josiah…" The next flash of red in the corner of his eye is indeed Jamie Fraser and he tunes out their conversation. It makes his heart ache. How many times his dear friend must have yearned to see both his children together, and here they are, yet he must remain on the outskirts.

After a subtle nod to each other, his old friend walks away, and something comes over John in a wave that makes him feel as though he is drowning. He could see it so clearly – William will ask about her at dinner, 'why was she so familiar and informal with you?', Is she married? Isn't she lovely? The thoughts like a whirlwind assault his mind until he hears himself speak and both Fraser children stare at him in equal shock and confusion.

"What did you say, Papa?"

"Yes, Lord John, what did you say?" he looks between them at a complete loss for words.

Oh bloody Hell…

Locking his gaze with Brianna, he hopes she will understand without words his need for her to indulge him.

"I said, Mount Josiah was not my only reason for coming along. Brianna and I are engaged," Her eyes are wide and searching his, but she doesn't deny it, nor does she pull away when he comes to stand by her side, linking their elbows, "I had hoped to tell you at dinner tonight-"

"Is this true, Madam?" His son interrupts, face turning as red as his coat.

"Yes, um, he proposed a few years ago, and I accepted."

"Well to be fair, darling, you asked first…"

Oh Williams look of horror.

"Y…you asked my father to marry you?" she nods with a broad, proud smile.

"I did."

"Forgive me I must take my leave…" William storms off and John exhales, near crashing into Brianna's side once his son is out of sight. Her hand tightens on his elbow.

"It's ok, just take deep breaths." She comforts him before he can even apologize. He takes a moment, following her advice until he has caught his breath.

"Mistress MacKenzie, I must beg your forgiveness, I do not know what came over me."

"What's with all this 'Mistress MacKenzie' nonsense all of a sudden?" she is teasing him but a sad smile remains on her lips, "I am so sorry, John. Had I known that was William I never would have approached you."

"It is alright. I was – I am – delighted to see you." Her smile in return is bright and he pulls her hand towards him, kissing the back of her hand. She blushes, an adorable response to when any gentleman kisses her hand, "Thank you, Brianna, for your discretion."

"Of course," He is keenly aware that they are surrounded by people and if only for her reputation he puts just enough distance between them as they begin to walk. As if in direct defiance, she moves closer, "What just happened here?"

"I will not risk William developing feelings for you, even if it is an innocent infatuation." The notion now sounds preposterous as he says it out loud, but he knows his son. Were it not for this bloody conflict, discussing suitable wives is exactly what they would have been doing.

"And your only solution was to announce our engagement?"

"Yes?"

She smiles, barely suppressing her giggles, "Well, we faked an engagement before. I think we can pull it off again."

"Do you mean it?"

"Of course I mean it, I think we made quite the lovely couple. Although if we don't get married for a second time, people will start to talk…" he can only smile at the sentiment with which she says it, but he can't tell her how much he wishes that they could.

"I had meant to send my condolences. I do not know the exact circumstances, but I was grieved for you to hear Roger had left." Like her father, Brianna never fails to surprise him, not that he wants or is trying to upset her, but he was expecting more of a reaction than a dismissive shrug of her shoulder.

"Thank you. It wasn't his fault, and I don't blame him. I guess, in the end...we just wanted different things."

Still she defends him…

"May I walk you to wherever you are staying?" he asks, deciding it was better to change the subject than share his true feelings on the matter.

"It's not far. Da is waiting for me, too…" she starts to protest but stops when he offers his arm.

"I suppose I should accompany you anyway as we will need to tell him," Brianna acquiesces by accepting his offered elbow, settling firm against his side as he lets her lead the way, "Did I mention how well you look?"

Her face lights up all over again, "Thank you, I was going to same about you…"

"I'm flattered. And how is young Jeremiah?"

"As energetic as ever, getting bigger every day. But despite everything, he is good." He can only assume that she is referring to the young boy's father just up and disappearing one day. For all John knew Roger had been murdered or died in an accident on the Ridge. No one, including her parents, seems to know why he left or what became of him.

"I am glad to hear it…"

It comes as an afterthought; one he decides to keep to himself. Jemmy's age is the length of time they have known each other. No matter how he does the math it feels wrong, they have to have known each other longer than her son has been alive.

He tears his gaze away from her long enough to see where they are walking. He ignores the looks from passers-by, the ones who look at you without really raising their eyes to meet yours. Those are the ones who will spread gossip like wildfire with no thought of consequences. It's a look he has seen more than once in his life, especially from the elite in London. In his own way he rebels against the unbearable rules of society, though it must be subtle in its execution. Whether brave or foolish, he envies Brianna in this, that she so easily ignores the rules of propriety and is not afraid to publicly show her affection for a man not her husband. If only for the sake of her reputation he should enforce those rules, but at this particular moment, he could not care any less about them. They have ruled too much of his life already.

For most of his life he never questioned or apologized for preferring men to women. Something as simple as walking arm in arm through the street is a luxury he has often longed for. But he feels like a fraud and a hypocrite when he wishes for something as normal as being in public at the side of an exceptional and beautiful woman to whom he is betrothed. Although he tries to hide his affection for her, or at least minimize his expression of it, he is not sure how successful he has been over the years. More than once he has bought gifts when something reminds him of her, and though he could mail them he almost always chose to deliver them in person.

She slows their pace, her hand covers her stomach as if she were every bit as pregnant as she was back then. He wonders if it is simply the mention of her son, or perhaps it is reminding her of Roger and that he is no longer here. He tries to follow her troubled gaze, but it does not seem to focus on any one person or place.

"Do you remember the last time we were in Wilmington together?"

"Of course I do." as if he could ever forget, "I did not want to mention it."

"Sorry to be the downer," she sniffles but huffs a laugh, fighting her tears, "But you said it back then: memories are not expected, they simply come. Feels like a lifetime ago now..."

"Indeed it does…"

Sometimes he forgets just how much they had experienced together and how it only transpired because he wanted to keep a promise to her father. Preventing her from marrying Forbes, taking her to see Bonnet and the explosion they escaped in this very town all came down to a matter of honor. Helping her was easy when he thought that as soon as her parents returned with Roger he would never see her again. He was foolish to believe he would never get attached, especially after witnessing firsthand how remarkably strong and resilient she is, celebrating the birth of her son, her marriage to Roger, the death of Stephen Bonnet and so many moments in between. For now, he chooses not to dwell too much on the past.

"You are not a downer, my dear."

She scoffs in a way that lets him know she disagrees, "Oh yea, I am totally the life of the party," there is a brief pause until she finally looks up and meets his eyes, "You kinda saved my life, ya know…back in those days – or at least my sanity. I will never be able to adequately thank you for everything you did for me, and all the ways you were there after…"

"It was truly an honor and my pleasure to be of service to you." And it was, it still is… The last time they were this close with her looking up at him like that was when she told him he was impossible not to like. He will never admit that the way she just looked at him as she said those words makes him want to cry. "This may be forward, but would you permit me to accompany you on your way to Boston? It is a long journey, and you can rest at Mount Josiah for however long you need before continuing on."

"Oh no, that is kind of you to offer, Lord John, but Boston is…"

"Not that far." He stops them once more, "I do not even need an Astrolabe to know that you are going both North and East and Mount Josiah is both of things. You have become a very dear friend to me, Brianna, please allow me the honor of hosting you and your son."

She rolls her eyes with a coy smile, "Well, how could I say no to such an offer? An opportunity to have you all to myself again?" He feels his cheeks go red. It seems they take only a few more steps when she says, "This is it…"

Looking up they are at the same Inn where he has a room as well. He follows her inside, walking behind her so as not to draw attention, acting as though they are going to separate rooms. She doesn't bother to knock as they reach their room, simply lets herself in and motions for John to follow. She closes the door, re-linking their elbows for show.

"Da, are you here?"

"Bree – where have ya –" Jamie stops dead in his tracks, "John…"

"It's good to see you, Jamie."

"And you…" her father looks at their joined elbows, his displeasure obvious as he notices just how close they are still standing, "What's goin' on?"

"Lord John announced our engagement…"

"You did what?" Jamie asks, surprisingly calm given how murderous his expression turns.

"It's not real," Brianna reminds him, though it seems to accomplish little in easing her father's dismay.

"It was impulsive on my part. In truth, it was because of William, I only announced it to him. I feared he may develop an infatuation or try to court Brianna and we all know exactly why that would be most… problematic." He doesn't want to dwell on that scenario too long and he quickly adds, "Besides, she is leaving anyway, and I can make up an excuse to William when he begins speaking to me again."

"Mad at ya, was he?" Jamie asks, only a little too pleased.

"Oh yea, I can confirm he totally has the Fraser temper…" Brianna adds, smiling in a way that makes his heart glad she got to meet William, despite the panic it caused him.

He tightens his grip on her hand as he turns back to Jamie, "While the engagement is fake, I have asked Brianna to allow me to accompany her to Boston, at least as far as Mount Josiah. She agreed and–"

"She agreed?" Jamie asks, looking at his daughter with something John can't quite name. Frustration to start, maybe a bit of anger? But that makes no sense. "Bree, can you go find your mother and Jemmy?"

"Why?"

"Lord John and I need to talk."

She moves even closer, tightening her hold, "I can stay for that." It's almost adorable the way she is trying to protect him, but he also knows Jamie has a temper and nothing sparks it faster than matters concerning his daughter.

"No, it's alright. You go…" John says, near certain that his friendship with her father means that Jamie won't kill him immediately. With a doubtful look, Brianna releases his elbow and glares daggers at her father.

"Promise not to near beat this one to death…" There is an edge of teasing to her voice, but only just. Jamie, for his part, looks appropriately remorseful.

"He'll be alive when you return, I promise,"

But not unharmed…

Once she is gone, Jamie motions to the whiskey on the table. "Drink?"

"Please." Jamie pours just enough and their glasses clink together. It's not from his personal supply and is surprisingly easy going down in comparison. John sets the glass back on the tray, "Thank you."

"What are you doin', John? Announcing your engagement and then traveling with her all that way?"

"It is just an act as I said, Jamie. One she and I have played before and I am exceedingly thankful she went along with it."

"Just like you went along with it while we were gone to find Roger?"

"You know she had no choice." John replies, choosing not to take offense at Jamie's outrageous implication, "And as you well know my intentions and my behavior have always been honorable where you daughter is concerned."

"Aye," Jamie drinks another shot, sitting on the chair across from him. "So I see Brianna met William…"

"She did. I near had a heart attack when I saw her approach us." He smirks at the surfacing of another memory, "When Brianna and I were on the way to Wilmington to see Bonnet, she told me about the man who raised her, Frank. She did not go into much detail, but I had the sense she was telling me specifically because of my role in William's life. She told me how much it hurt her to learn she had been lied to her whole life even though she loves both her fathers…and that William has the right to know his true parentage."

"The circumstances are entirely different. She can be too sentimental at times. I know it causes you great worry – it does to me as well – but I'm glad she met him. Especially now that she is…"

"Leaving?" John finishes for him.

Jamie narrows his eyes, "Aye. What do you know of it?"

"Only that you're letting her go to Boston with a small child, alone."

"Bree has made up her mind to go." Jamie says, a bit too defensively, "It's why we're in Wilmington. I need a jewel for her."

"A jewel, whatever for?"

"It's to secure her…passage home, and Jemmy, of course." Almost without thinking John unbuttons his vest and pulls out the sapphire, "You still have it?"

He nods, fighting the unexpected rush of fresh tears to his eyes, "I carry it always."

"John, I canna take it from you,"

"You said that you kept it in case it could be of use to you one day. Perhaps today is that day…"

John doesn't know how to tell Jamie that it is alright, that the sapphire no longer holds the same meaning for him. Long has he been reconciled to the fact that he and Jamie would never be together and the sapphire means something to him that it would never mean to Jamie. It has become a weight all its own. The true surprise is his desire for Brianna and to actually follow through on their second engagement, just as she had teased him. He can't tell this to her father, nor can he tell Brianna herself, especially if she has made up her mind to go make a life with someone else – somewhere else. So one last time, he will put on a smile and lie.

"I did not hold on to the sapphire just to remember our friendship, Jamie. I kept it to remind myself to not be so quick to judge a person. I thought you a savage, mindless warmonger whose actions were responsible for the death of someone I loved." There is an anger edging his words John can't explain as he left all this in the past, and Jamie appears just as taken aback by them, "Then as I got to know you, witnessing firsthand how deeply you cared for those men at Ardsmuir and the compassion you showed them. I have been sufficiently proven wrong, and you've surprised me at every turn," he huffs, "They are lessons I won't soon forget whether I have the stone or not, and if Brianna has need of this, she may have it."

"I thank ya, John," It is rare to see tears in Jamie's eyes, but they are there now and it unsettles John to the point he pulls his hand back, closing his fist around it.

"Could you tell me again why she needs it?"

The shock and aggravation is evident in his eyes, "It's to get her and Jemmy to Boston...and eventually Scotland. They'll be safe there."

"A stone such as this is worth more than that trip, enough to get them both back here if she wished it."

"Aye…"

"I will happily pay the price for their journey if you cannot–"

"It's not…that isn't going to…" Jamie paces, stumbling over his words as his anger rises. John uses every ounce of self-control his body possesses to remain calm.

"As old friends, I would appreciate it if you could explain exactly what it is you are not telling me. And do not say the words, it's a long story, I beg of you."

"It is a long story, John," Jamie pours himself another whisky, followed by another. For a moment he looks to the window, his eyes deeply anguished, even more than the day Jamie begged John to kill him – even more than the day Jamie left Willie behind. "The stone is to get them home and have enough to spare to begin a new life if Roger turns them away...even if he doesn't turn them away. It's meant to support them."

"Ah, the infamous Roger…" John can't help but roll his eyes, once more biting his tongue on his true opinion of the so-called man, "So if I give you this, you're what? Sending her to a man who has already abandoned her and his child and broke her heart?"

"I'm sendin' her somewhere far away from all this...conflict."

John thinks once more about their last parting, though he knew he would not see much of Brianna over the years he rather liked the idea that if he wanted to, he could. Handing this over was sending her somewhere that she wouldn't return from. Somewhere she would likely be alone with a young boy, even more vulnerable to men like Bonnet and worse. There is nowhere in the world that cannot be reached, he knows this because Brianna arrived here once before. If John will not be allowed to accompany her to be sure that she is safe, he cannot be responsible for getting her there in the first place.

"I'm sorry, Jamie, I cannot give it to you, knowing that." he says, putting the sapphire back in his vest pocket.

"What?"

John fails at keeping his voice steady, "If she is going away than at least allow me to accompany her, if only to ensure her safety."

"You think I wouldna go if I could? Were it possible I – we – all would go together. But it doesna…that's not how this works!"

"How what works?!"

Jamie points his finger, eyes full of contempt, "You selfish bastard, you just want her for yourself!"

"I want her safe, Jamie! And happy–"

"You say that as if I do not!"

"Then tell me why!" John bites his tongue, they both want Brianna and Jemmy to be safe and there is no reason to fight, "Ever since I first met Claire in Jamaica and learned about Brianna and then her arrival here, you all speak of Boston as if it is some mythical intangible place. I can travel there by land and by sea and assuredly, Boston is closer than Scotland."

"Because I'm not going to Boston or to Scotland…technically we won't even leave North Carolina." both men turn to see Brianna, Jemmy held safe between her and her mother.

"The truth at last…" John says, though he is certain now whatever is happening, it is something he won't understand simply because with his wildest imagination he cannot fathom what the answer could be, "We have all been acquainted now for some time, Jamie it's been twenty years. Please just tell me…"

The three of them look at each other, having a complete conversation with their eyes – all full of uncertainty and fear, and then resignation when they finally seem to come to an agreement. Claire and Brianna bring Jemmy to sit on the bench by the window as Jamie pours another glass of whiskey – one he fills more than halfway – and hands it to him.

"You may want ta sit down for this…"


A/N: I do hope you enjoyed it. I wanted to post this before the continuation of the TV series, I just wanted to write a few stories where the canon!future of Lord John and Claire never takes place (one or two of these are slightly darker and again I will update with individual warnings as they come up). Feel free to comment :)