TW for depiction of a suicide attempt and triggering discussions surrounding it. I will provide a neutral description of the important plot points at the bottom. Please take care of yourselves.


Everything was grey, for a moment. Sayaka could feel herself being pulled upwards; Kyoko's hoodie slipped from her hands, and she was too weak to grab for it. She coughed, and her eyes drifted closed…

And she came to lying on the hard ground. Someone was shaking her shoulder.

"Hey. Hey. Wake up."

"Wh-what…?" Sayaka's voice came through hoarse; she struggled to focus on the face in front of her. "Kyoko?"

"No. It's me."

She blinked again, and finally saw purple eyes, dark black hair. For once, Homura's expression wasn't blank; she looked worried, and when Sayaka's eyes drifted past her, she followed her gaze, up, up, up.

Up the neighboring building. Up, past rows and rows of windows. Up, to a glowing orange fire, breathing smoke into the night.

Kyoko. Sayaka's heart caught it her throat. She looked back to Homura, and saw her expression had hardened once more.

"No…" Sayaka watched her rise to her feet, and grabbed her hand. "No. You… you can't. You can't!"

Homura stared down at her, jaw clenched, fists balled.

"Please… you can't, you… No!" She felt Homura wrench her hand away. "No! Don't you dare! Don't you-"

And she vanished, leaving Sayaka to flop onto the concrete. She lay there for a second, shaking, breathing, the sound of sirens echoing down the street, echoing in her head. Her breath came in, and then out with a shudder and she shoved herself up.

She stumbled out of the alleyway, shoved herself past a gathering crowd. Firefighters were there by a hydrant as she darted for the hotel doors; somebody grabbed her.

"Whoa, hold your horses!"

"No! Let me go!" Sayaka tried to yank herself away. "Let me go! I have to, I have to go in-"

"Stand back, kid, we-"

"No, I have to!" She felt herself getting pulled back. "No, no, please! Kyoko!"

And then a boom. The apartment exploded and a shockwave ripped through her eardrums; ringing, screaming, shoving, bits of shattered wood and glass raining down… and Sayaka stood there. Stared up, at what remained.

The fire was gone. The smoke still rose, but it was slow, listless, like blood seeping from a corpse.

And she shook her head.

She felt someone pushing her, shouting at her to move, kid! But it barely registered. It was background noise, a distant roar, a drop in the roiling black ocean of knowing exactly what she'd done.

Mist coated her. Water smothered the smoke, and Sayaka could watch no longer. Heart thudding in her chest, she broke her gaze and walked into the night.

Walked fast, with nowhere to go. Her mind was a fuzz; she barely noticed the cars passing, pedestrians lit up like apparitions by their headlights.

She walked some more, and it was quiet, here. Almost quiet enough for her to think… quiet, but for the sound of rushing water.

Sayaka stood at the railing of a bridge. She put her hands on the metal barrier; it was cold, smooth.

Waist height.

She stared down at the black water, and felt a terror deep in her soul. Her breath hitched, and she covered her face; a sob tore through her and she stood there for a moment, trembling, gasping into her hands, shaking her head. No, she thought. No, wait, this was, this was crazy, what was she doing - no! NO!

She pushed herself back from the railing, away from the water… but she couldn't break her gaze. She couldn't stop herself from circling back.

The water, swirling a long way below her feet. The drop. Her mind was screaming at the thought, but… if not this, then what? She couldn't, she couldn't keep doing this.

The water. It didn't feel like a choice. It was inevitable.

…but even as she realised that, she looked back. Looked for anything.

The streets were barren. The night was moonless. A single set of headlights peered out of the darkness; she watched a car drive onto the bridge, and carry on past her without stopping. And of course it didn't stop. Sayaka didn't know why the taillights fading into the distance felt like the last straw, but her face crumpled, and she sank back to the railing.

Opened her blurry eyes, and all she could see was the water.

The water.

The water.

"Why are you looking for someone to help you?"

A voice. His voice. Sayaka closed her eyes, and shook her head.

"Not you," she said, barely louder than a whisper. "Anyone but you. Please."

"I'm just saying," Kyubey continued, "you're doing this to yourself. Nobody has to save you from this. If you don't want to die, just step back from the ledge."

She didn't have the energy to say anything. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his tail, swishing.

"Hmm. Or maybe, you just want this to feel out of your control." She felt him climb onto her shoulders, and sit down. You know, you've been a very interesting case study, Sayaka Miki. I had no idea how a witch would react to being turned back into a human. I didn't think it would go well, of course, but it seems you never really stopped being a witch at all. That's fascinating."

She felt him knead her arm, felt little sharp pinpricks on her skin.

"You killed Kyoko, and now you're going to waste yourself. As expected; I predicted this, remember? Still, it's a shame. Madoka wished for you to be back, Kyoko spent so much time helping you adjust… all for nothing."

Finally, Sayaka clenched the rail. "I don't owe them anything," she said, and rose up. Kyubey jumped off her.

"Of course you don't. I wasn't saying you did; they made their own choices." His red eyes stared at her, stared. "And you made yours. You control your own destiny, even now."

Sayaka grit her teeth. "If I… if I made a contract with you, for-"

"Kyoko? Oh, no, that won't work again. Not for you; it's not a fair trade." Kyubey turned away, his tail waving in her face. "We make witches to reverse entropy, Sayaka Miki. Madoka's soul was valuable enough for me to undo your fate, but you? We wouldn't even break even."

Sayaka closed her eyes. She took a breath, and let it out in a shudder. She stared down at the water, the inevitable current pulling her ever down, down. She set her jaw. Then abruptly, she bent down and slipped off her shoes. She felt Kyubey's eyes on her as she placed them neatly on the concrete, and hesitated.

"You can still make a contract, though."

"Oh, yeah?" A bleak laugh. Sayaka rose to her feet. "No. I've made up my mind, I'm… I'm done. With you. With all of this, I… I thought I… I just, I… I dunno. Heh. I dunno what I wanted to say. Probably something stupid."

Sayaka turned her back on him, and gripped the rail-

"Like sorry?"

She froze. "What?"

"I mean, that's what you were trying to say to Kyoko. Sorry, right?" His voice continued. "And now she's going to suffer forever, and you're going to have a quick end. Witches can't die, you know. You can destroy their grief seeds, but their familiars, they'll come back and form new ones, in time."

Sayaka shook her head. "Stop."

"If you think about it, it's like a part of them never dies. They'll be formed and destroyed again, and again, and again, to the end of-"

"Shut up, SHUT UP!" She tried to shove him off the bridge but he danced out of her way. "I don't owe her anything!"

"I didn't say that." He sat down again. "You're the one who keeps bringing that up. You don't believe it, do you?"

"I-"

"You don't believe it," he said. "You know, I could see what you wanted when you first decided to be a magical girl. You wanted to heal your friend. You wanted to help people. You wanted to be a hero, didn't you?"

Sayaka watched him with balled, shaking fists. He started licking his paws.

"And deep down, in your soul, you still want that, don't you. You still want to put some good into the world. You still want to give yourself to something, give yourself meaning… and I can provide that."

Dread was filling her chest. "Provide it how?" She asked, and watched him pause, watched those awful red eyes fix on her.

"By making a contract with me, of course. Not because you want it, but because you deserve it."

Sayaka stepped back. She shook her head no, but she couldn't say it as he continued.

"If you're going to kill yourself anyway, don't waste your soul. Give it to me, and you'll be contributing to the survival of the universe! I can't think of a more selfless, heroic deed than that."

"I…" she struggled for words. "I, I can't, I-"

"Why not? Because of Madoka? Kyoko? You'll be wasting their efforts just the same. You might as well put some good into the world doing it, right?"

Sayaka turned away, turned back to the water. Her heart was thudding in her chest as she looked down at the churning current; it had seemed crazy a moment ago, but now she was crazy not to jump, not to end this.

Wasn't she?

"You know I'm making sense." Kyubey jumped onto her shoulder, curled himself around her neck. "It's up to you, Sayaka Miki. You have the power to make something of yourself, even now. Even after all you've done. Isn't that wonderful?"

The water, rushing below her feet. The weight, pressing on her shoulders. The choice: death, or worse.

Her hands tightened on the railing. And maybe he was right, she thought.

Maybe she deserved worse.

"Well?"

Sayaka opened her mouth. She truly didn't know what she was about to say; she took a shaky breath, and-

And she never had to find out.

BANG!

A sharp pain, ringing in her ears - she jerked away and covered them, and felt a slight weight slide off her shoulders.

Kyubey. He slipped, limp, down her shirt, and off the side of the railing. With wide eyes, Sayaka watched him fall, watched him tumble into the darkness, and…

heard him hit the water.

It was one quiet, meaty sound, and then nothing. She didn't even see it happen, didn't catch a glimpse of white in the water as the current carried the body away. It was like nothing had happened at all, and Sayaka felt like she was going to be sick. Heart thudding, breath heaving, she recoiled from the edge… and heard footsteps behind her.

A figure, coming from the side of the bridge, stepping into the lamplight. Homura stopped when Sayaka turned to look at her.

"Y…you…" Sayaka breathed. Her wide eyes slid from the sorrow in her face, down to the gun in her hands. She breathed again, and scowled. "You. Why are you here, huh."

Homura said nothing to that, and in the silence, Sayaka could still hear a faint ringing in her ears. Her feet felt cold; she looked down, and fixed her gaze on the pair of shoes neatly placed before the ledge.

"You didn't come to save me," she muttered. "I know you didn't. I don't owe you… I don't owe you anything." A quick glance up. Homura was still staring at her; she clenched her fists. "You… you hear that? I said I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you ANYTHING THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

It came out of her like an explosion, and she drove her foot into those neat little fucking shoes and sent them flying towards Homura; one of them went off the edge, the other bounced and landed sideways in the road, and the words just spilled out of her:

"Yeah, this is all your fault, did you know that! YOU killed Kyoko, you MURDERER I HOPE YOU DIE I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!" She was pacing, trembling, laughing. "Hah! Yeah, and you know what I hope Madoka dies too since you like her so damn much, I don't care, I don't care, I-I don't… I…"

Her eyes were watering. Her voice was breaking, and still Homura was standing there.

"I don't, I don't care," she said, and backed away. "I don't care, I-I don't c-care, I… I d-don't, I…"

And she sank to the ground, back against the railing, head in her hands… and she just broke. Her breath hitched as she sobbed, she grabbed her cheeks, dug her nails in. She tried to hold it back, but every time she tried it spilled out of her with an ugly sound; god, she couldn't do this. She was so tired, so, so tired of everything, but what was she supposed to do? The question just swelled in her without a hope of an answer: what was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to do?

And in the midst of it all… a hand. On her shoulder.

Sayaka stiffened a little at the touch, but in that moment she didn't care who it was. She leaned into the touch, sniffed and shook her head.

"I-I k…" she gulped. "I k-i-illed he-er… I di-idn't, I didn't m-mean to, I-I…"

Another hand, drawing her into a hug. And she just let them, she just buried her face in their shoulder and sobbed, and sobbed until she couldn't feel anything anymore.

Homura was crying, too. Her eyes were blurry as she looked past Sayaka, to the first hints of light peeking over the horizon. To the storm clouds rolling in, glowing a faint, yet ominous red.

She saw them, and held Sayaka a little tighter.


Sayaka is saved from Kyoko's witch by Homura. Homura kills Kyoko's witch. Sayaka contemplates suicide while Kyubey tries to convince her to become a witch. Homura kills Kyubey. Sayaka breaks down and she and Homura hug.