Good evening, Dear Readers! :)

Thank you all for your reviews and thoughts you share with me.

So, I won't write long, the next chapter is in front of you and a conversation that went the wrong way, but ...

Enjoy reading!:)

I own nothing in regard to GWTW.

Chapter 8.

Rhett took the familiar comb in his hands and frowned. Only yesterday he'd seen her surprised look and smile as he handed it to her, only yesterday he'd carefully placed it in her hair and then admired the glow of the stones as he danced with her. He had so lovingly chosen this gift, something that would remind her of him and she had returned it so damn easily! "If it had been some wooden trinket from Wilkes, she would have kept it under her pillow, no other way!"

"Rhett, please sign the bills and..." said Tom, as he entered the office and looked up from the papers, he noticed Rhett frowning at the familiar jewellery in his hands.

Tom stepped closer, looked at the jewellery and said quietly, "I think I saw it in Scarlett's hair last night..."

"You're so damn observant, Tom," Rhett grumbled, slipping the comb into his pocket.

"Was that your present, Rhett? For her?" continued Tom with interest.

"Yes," he heard a short answer, followed by a phrase spoken in Rhett's aggrieved voice, "but apparently my presents are not so good for Mrs Hamilton that she returns them to me silently the next day."

"She gave it back to you for nothing? No explanation?" asked Tom in surprise and added with a slight smile, "from what I've just seen, you and her are kind of tense, in a quarrel as usual?"

Rhett shook his head negatively and said, "Not as usual..."

"So you were rude to her?"

"Why me at once, Tom!" exclaimed Rhett, "I merely called things by their proper names, and she acted like a child, like a girl!"

Tom snorted and Rhett continued, "And now she's got these games of silence! I'm not a boy to her!"

"Just apologize, Rhett. You've obviously hurt her feelings, even if you didn't mean to," Tom advised him with a smile and added, "And come to tea with me tomorrow, Mrs Wilkes will be glad to have you and..."

"I wasn't invited, Tom! Haven't you heard?"

"When has that ever stopped you?"

"I wouldn't think of it, let her keep quiet as long as she likes, and I'll find somewhere to have a good time," said Rhett, and taking the bills from Tom's hands, sat down and began to sign them. He wished he could find a mistake in the calculations, but everything was right, as usual.

"Damn it," Rhett whispered as he signed the last sheet.

"Speaking of places 'to have a good time'," Tom continued the conversation, smirking and glaring at Rhett, "I've never seen you wear the same scarf two days in a row, much less such a formal, hmmm evening one... Which means, despite your fresh suit and shirt, you clearly didn't spend the night in a hotel room, did you? Am I right?"

"Maybe," Rhett replied, turning away to the window.

"If you went out drinking, you might as well have called me along," Tom said in a joking tone.

"You do realize I didn't just drink there."

"Mm-hmm..."

"Are you judging me, Tom?" asked Rhett abruptly, turning to him.

Tom looked at him seriously and said, "Calm down Rhett. No, I'm not judging you, as I'm a man and I myself go to relax, play cards and drink in such establishments. But I don't think you should go there when you're upset..."

"What makes you think I was upset?"

"Well, you were 'glowing with joy' when you said goodbye to me last night, weren't you, Rhett?" replied Tom sarcastically and shrugged his shoulders.

"All right Tom, I don't want to talk about it! She likes to behave that way, let her behave that way. Let's see how long she'll last! And yes, pick her up yourself tomorrow morning, will you? I'll actually come back later, if I come back at all. I'm a busy man, you can tell Mrs Hamilton that," with these words Rhett flicked off his pen, smudging the sheets of paper on the desk with ink, then took his jacket and walked briskly out of the office. Tom only shook his head, these two were as stubborn as mules.

If Scarlett was surprised to see Tom instead of Rhett that morning, she hardly showed it. Maybe she arched her eyebrow slightly in question, but Tom told her at once, smiling, "Rhett's very busy with something, so he told me he's a 'busy man'."

Scarlett only hummed in reply and started a conversation about a future tea party, and then quietly turned the subject to stories of her childhood on the plantation, in which she often mentioned the Wilkes and India in particular. India had not always been so boring, and as children, sometimes when little ladies were bored with dolls they would go and play with Scarlett and the twins, at first mocking their amusements but eventually becoming fascinated by them.

When she arrived at the sawmill, Scarlett tried to distract herself, but her thoughts kept returning to her quarrel with Rhett, and her gaze kept stopping at the ajar door of his study, which did not escape Tom's gaze, who shook his head and decided not to interfere.

Rhett did not appear at the sawmill that day, and, to Scarlett's silent disappointment, neither did he appear at the tea party. Somehow she was sure he would come, even without being invited. When had that ever stopped him?

"But that obnoxious man remembered his manners just today!" she thought, trying to get more comfortable on her pillow, but sleep wouldn't come to her.

"What if he doesn't show up at the sawmill at all anymore? What if he goes somewhere far away? What if we don't communicate with him..." she thought anxiously, looking at the shadows from the branches on the ceiling. "But, there's a deal... There's no way Rhett would turn it down... And if I'm not attractive enough for him," she thought, running her hand through her hair and down her cheek, then down her neck where the freckles used to be. They were gone now, her hands were more or less neat, apart from the callus marks, and yes, she was still very thin and her breasts had thinned, almost like Melanie's. Scarlett knew it was because of her constant malnutrition, but until her appetite returned to her, her portions were still small, she couldn't eat any more.

For some reason, Scarlett remembered Belle's lush bust, which she always flaunted with her cleavage, and wrinkled her nose.

"If he didn't want me, fine! I can pay him back with money!" she thought, clutching the blanket with her hands. Her ego was hurt, but he would never know, she decided to herself, closing her eyes and trying in vain to sleep.

"What if he sells the sawmill altogether?" a new thought flashed through her mind and fear flooded her soul all at once. She needed this job, at least another year, preferably two, to get back on her feet, to help her family, to rebuild Tara.

"But it's Rhett Butler, you can expect anything from him," she thought, biting her lip nervously. "Damn him!" was her last thought and she fell into a short restless sleep.

It was the fifth day Scarlett hadn't spoken to him. After three days of being away, mostly spent in his hotel room or playing cards and drinking at Belle's, he didn't want to go on like this any longer. They needed to talk, he missed her and their communication. He was waiting for her in the buggy outside Aunt Pitty's house again.

Scarlett, coming out of her aunt's house adjusting her shawl, looked up absent-mindedly and saw a familiar figure beside the carriage. He stood with his back to her, with his hands in his pockets, looking somewhere on the other side of the street.

Her heart beat faster, for it was him! He hadn't disappeared, he was here again! "But he insulted you," her pride whispered to her, and hoping her cheeks weren't burning with excitement, she went to meet him, preparing for another day of silence.

She didn't say hello to him, but just sat in the buggy. Rhett looked at her resentfully, but without saying a word, sat down next to her and they drove in silence, looking around.

Then, as usual, she walked into their shared office, smiled radiantly at Tom, said, "Good morning, Tom," and sat quietly at her desk, immediately distracted by the numbers. "Or pretended to be distracted," Rhett thought, and after shaking hands with a surprised Tom, he walked quickly to his office to think about the whole situation.

But, as it happened, he was distracted time and again by customers who wanted to talk to him, or by Tom asking him something.

But she didn't come to his office, her presence in the next room was evidenced by her laughter as she joked with Tom about different things and by the stack of bills. A stack of papers was growing on his desk, waiting for signatures, and he was staring out the window.

"This can't go on any longer!" he thought with rage and despair, and suddenly grinning crookedly, a plan appeared in his mind.

It was getting close to lunchtime and Rhett called loudly to Tom and when he entered, surprised to see his friend in the study, was even more surprised by his quiet tone, almost a whisper, "Tom, you have to leave! Now!"

"What are you talking about, Rhett?" exclaimed Tom and he hissed at him, "Hush, hush!" and then continued in a whisper, "I need you to leave now, I'll talk to her, do you hear?"

"Are you sure?" replied Tom, smiling slightly.

"Yes, yes, go Tom!"

"Where am I going to..."

Rhett rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Think of something, Tom," he told him quietly and began to wait.

He heard Tom say something to Scarlett and come out fifteen minutes later, and then he heard the sound of hoofs, and saw the horse and rider disappear down the familiar path leading towards the town.

For another fifteen minutes Rhett stared out the window at the sun, which was breaking through the branches of the trees and the new foliage, and casting strange shadows on the dark soil. The sound of axes and tools in the distance, the workers talking... He counted to ten and went to the door, opened it ajar and, without looking at Scarlett, said, "Mrs Hamilton, if you have the bills ready, bring them to me and I'll sign them," and stepped aside against the wall.

Scarlett flinched when she heard him say her name coldly, frowned, but stood up, adjusted her beige dress and picked up the stack of papers.

She walked resolutely into his office and went to the desk, but he was not there.

She heard the lock click behind her back and flinched.

Rhett came up behind her and, leaning into her so that she could feel his warm breath, spoke softly, "No one is getting out of here, out of this damn room, until we talk, do you hear me, Scarlett?"

She took a step away from him and folded her arms across her chest without turning around.

He took a step towards her again and put his arm around her shoulders with determination.

"Let me go, you rascal!" she exclaimed quietly.

He continued to hold her tightly and replied, "And I won't think of it! If that's the only way to get you to talk to me! If it's the only way not to be nothing to you! I don't deserve to be treated like this, Scarlett, damn it!"

He took the papers from her hands, noting that her palms were cold and even he thought they were trembling slightly, and tossed them on the table.

She suddenly turned and looked at him belligerently, flashing her green eyes and said distinctly, "So I'm the one who deserves to have you talk to me like a whore, huh, Rhett?"

He remained silent as she continued, smiling coldly, "Well, maybe I should get to know your friend better, Rhett. She might even have a job..."

He took her firmly by the shoulders and shook her, raising his voice, "Shut up, Scarlett, do you hear me? Shut up! Don't you dare talk about yourself like that!"

"I'm talking and showing exactly the behaviour you expect of me, Rhett! Look, you called me a whore and..."

"I didn't call you that, damn it!" he exclaimed, than released her from his embrace and angrily kicked the wooden chair next to him.

Scarlett flinched, but such outbursts of anger in men had never frightened her. Her father, Gerald O'Hara, was just as noisy in his quarrels.

"You implied it with your hints about the purchase, about the price. You told me, Rhett, that everyone has a price!"

"You insulted me!"

"You insult me all the time!"

They stood there, throwing curt phrases at each other, both of them strung out, emotional.

Rhett took a breath and suddenly, reached out to her and timidly ran his hand over her shoulder.

"Scarlett, I'm sorry," she heard his quiet voice.

"For what?"

"For this whole situation, for insulting you, for not approaching you right away, that evening..."

"He said it," was her thought and she suddenly sank tiredly into the chair nearest her and closed her eyes with her hand.

The gesture was so unlike her usual behaviour, completely. She was clearly showing him her weakness and he looked at her anxiously, quickly picked up the second overturned chair, set it down and sat down beside her.

"What's wrong, Scarlett?" he asked quietly and took her slender palm in his.

She flinched, but she didn't have the strength to explain. It was a mixture of relief and doom. Relief that he'd apologized, that the conflict was moving towards resolution, and doom that such quarrels would happen again.

She sighed and remained silent. She was so tired and so sleepy that she closed her eyes for a moment under her hand.

Rhett held her other hand in his, stroking her soft skin first, looking at the light pink scars that were a reminder of both the hard times and the quarrel they'd had in jail.

Scarlett didn't realize how it happened, but Rhett quietly touched her hand with his lips, she wanted to pull it away again, but he only whispered, "Scarlett, no..."

She didn't understand him most of the time, his motives... She tried very hard to understand him, to read him, and sometimes she thought she noticed something, but here he was laughing again, or joking, or insulting, and she was thrown back to the beginning of the way.

"Rhett," she addressed him quietly and he raised his black eyes to her.

"I don't understand you most of the time, you're the kind one, you help me with my work, because of you I can support my family and feed my son..."

"Because of you, Scarlett, not me..." he interrupted her, "you're the one working."

"But you've given me this opportunity, thank you, I'm truly grateful to you. I'm trying not to think about our..." here she swallowed and looked away, continuing more quietly, "our deal... Honestly, sometimes I completely forget about it."

Rhett's heart beat faster at those words and he smiled affectionately at her. She was close to him, she enjoyed his company, that was a good sign.

But, she continued, "But sometimes you get angry, and not for fun, but for real. And most of the time it's when Ashley..." she noticed the unkind fire appeared in his eyes and continued more quickly, "like now... I'm afraid to even finish my thought, afraid we'll fight again..."

"Have we made up, Scarlett?" he asked suddenly with a playful and kind smile.

"Rhett, enough of the jokes, I'm trying to have a conversation..."

Rhett realized what she was getting at, well he couldn't tell her that he was jealous of her like crazy of this 'wooden gentleman', that "Damned Wilkes" didn't deserve an ounce of love from this woman! From his woman...

"Scarlett," he said suddenly gravely and sharply. "I can explain to you why I can't stand your Ashley Wilkes!"

She looked at him expectantly and he continued, "It saddens me to see such a smart and beautiful woman forget everything in the world and act like a lovesick fool around him!" Rhett noticed her distancing herself from him again and explained, "After all, he doesn't do anything for you, don't deny it! He's just giving you speeches, Scarlett!"

She suddenly looked at him seriously and said, "You're wrong, Rhett."

He tensed, looked at her hard, and replied in a sarcastic tone, "Why? Enlighten me, Darling!"

She looked him straight in the eye and suddenly just said, "He looks at me and sees me as I would want to see myself. The way my mother would want me to be. The way I'll never be. He sees me as a lady, Rhett."

Rhett was silent, and she continued, "Yes, you'll say it's silly, but it's nice to feel like a lady instead of a whore, isn't it, Rhett?"

He knew what she was saying, what she meant. But she didn't understand the main thing!

"Scarlett," he told her, suddenly moving closer to her and taking her hands in his again, "Scarlett, you don't need these fake performances. You're perfect in your own way! A smart, beautiful, determined young woman! I see you as such..."

She looked at him incredulously and Rhett, seeing that she didn't believe him, said, "I'm really proud of you, Scarlett."

She lowered her eyes, looked at his big swarthy hands. They were beautiful, yes.

Seeing that she lowered her gaze, Rhett decided to not only reveal some of his thoughts to her, but also to protect himself. His heart and his secret were at stake, so he decided to broach the subject again.

"Besides, Scarlett," he began in a businesslike tone, not releasing her hands from his, "this man left you in a difficult situation. I mean, he watched you go to Atlanta in cold blood. And he should have stolen, killed, deceived, but, not let a woman, I dare think, who he cared for, do that... He betrayed you!" Rhett finished his speech, but instead of meeting her gaze, he felt her quickly pull her hands out of his, then stand up and move to the window. Crossing her arms over her chest, Scarlett wrapped them around her shoulders. He'd brought up the subject and touched a corner of her soul that she hadn't touched.

The corner that held her most painful and bitter memory, soaked in despair, tears, and hatred. Hate for Rhett. She didn't want to hate him. She wished she could forget that hot night of fleeing Atlanta.

"You have no right to judge him, Rhett," he heard her quiet voice say.

She was standing with her back to him, staring out the window, and he didn't understand why she'd cut off their tactile connection so abruptly.

"Am I not good enough to judge this great gentleman? That's what you mean, Scarlett, isn't it?" Rhett asked with quiet fury, clenching his hands into fists in frustration.

She turned around and he was struck by the cold glint and despair in her eyes, and Scarlett said in a calm tone, "You have no right to judge Ashley because you did the same thing yourself, Rhett. Betrayed me."

"What do you mean?" he asked glumly, and when she didn't answer immediately, he exclaimed, "Answer me, Scarlett, damn it!"

She didn't want to discuss it with him. She'd once sworn to herself that she wouldn't forgive him. Stepping across the red, heat-cracked Georgia soil, breathing the hot air, trying to get to the house with the old horse and the wagon, she cursed him every step of the way.

Walking through the trails, off the main road, stumbling over tree roots, listening to Wade's sobs, the squeaks of a hungry baby, Melanie's sighs and Prissy's wails, she wished a bullet would go straight through his heart and tear it to pieces.

Then there were hard months of life in Tara, she learnt hunger and fear of the future, and in order not to go mad, she locked all the bad and heavy memories in a separate corner of her mind.

Today he opened it with his phrase, "this man left you in a difficult situation."

Scarlett looked up at him, her cheeks suddenly became hot as if they'd just left a burning city, and she began to speak, speeding up her speech, clenching and unclenching her fingers, "You left me, Rhett. Alone, with a sick, almost dying woman, a baby, a frightened child, and a clueless maid. Left me in the middle of the road, between two armies. I believed you, Rhett, I believed you so much. You said, you promised me I'd get home. That you'd help us! You left me there all alone, my God..." Scarlett no longer tried to hide her emotions, but covered her face with trembling hands.

He swallowed and, trying to smile crookedly, said, "Scarlett, Darling, well technically I helped you. Stole a horse and got you out of town..." he spoke and saw her take her hands away from her flushed face and her eyes stare at him intently, "and anyway, Honey, I knew your house was close by and I knew no one would stop you and..."

"Like hell you are, Rhett Butler!" her loud cry interrupted his speech, and she sprang at him in two strides and struck him on the chest with her little fist. Rhett realized the fury she was in, but barely had time to open his mouth before she continued to speak loudly, looking into his eyes, "You didn't know, Rhett! You couldn't know anything for sure! We could have been killed, our wagon and horse could have been taken from us, I could have been raped, my house could have been burned down like the Twelve Oaks! Anything!" She paused for a second to catch her breath and continued a little more calmly, "It's a miracle, things worked out the way they did. But it's not your merit! So don't you dare stand here and tell me you 'technically' helped! No, Rhett!"

She said the last sentence with a tear in her voice, and then added in a whisper, as if saying to herself, "I didn't want to remember it, I didn't want to..."

She sank back in her chair, looking down at herself, running her hand through her hair as if she wanted to smooth it out. Now that she'd said it all out loud, all the rage and hatred that had been stored somewhere in her soul evaporated, leaving her empty and frustrated. And fatigue, oh, that constant fatigue, her faithful companion since her first night in Tara. She wanted to lie down and sleep, sleep for what seemed like ten years without a break. No thinking, no remembering. She'd sworn to herself to move forward and not remember, and now all was said and done, and it didn't get any easier.

Rhett stood silently looking at her. If she looked up at him, she could see that his eyes were full of sadness, guilt, but at the same time some inner confidence, severity.

He came to her, crouched on the floor in front of the chair, and gently took her chin, lifting her face.

"Scarlett, look at me..."

"No," she said, trying to look away, but with his other hand he took her shoulder and said more seriously, "We should have discussed this right away, a long time ago. But you were so preoccupied with money in jail that the subject slipped past us. And for nothing... I didn't know you were in so much pain over it."

Scarlett almost laughed a nervous laugh in his face. No. He would never understand her.

"Rhett, you'd better be quiet. Just keep quiet. You have no idea what I went through that night. You just burned out a part of me, and Ashley Wilkes finished the job, you started, when I rushed to him for help with my taxes. I don't believe you anymore. Anyone at all."

Rhett looked at her glumly and seriously. The conversation had taken such a turn that he didn't know what to say to her, how to make it easier for her and how to get her to believe him again.

"Okay Scarlett, I won't understand how you felt then, okay," he began in a quiet voice, as if talking to a little child. "But let me tell you how I felt."

She was silent, looking down at the wooden floor and he considered it consent.

"Scarlett, understand me, I still don't understand what pushed me to take that step that night. Patriotism, loyalty to the South, wanting to fight for the people I cared about," here he paused and looked at her but she didn't raise her eyes, "but, I had to do it. I had to."

"You could have walked me and all of us home and gone from there," she answered him quietly.

"I could have, Scarlett. I could have. But I didn't, maybe thinking you were strong enough, and I wasn't wrong. Maybe... I don't know... Darling, I don't have a coherent answer to that question, but every time I thought of you..."

"Oh, don't laugh at me, Rhett! And don't lie! You've hardly thought of me..." she answered him, interrupting his speech and raising her eyes to his, grinning wryly.

He suddenly flashed his eyes and took her face in his hands. It was not a gesture of tenderness, but of desperation.

"Listen to what I'm going to tell you, Scarlett. Regardless of what our relationship and arrangements are now, but you were a close friend of mine, we had a good and fun time in Atlanta back then, even though we fought," he added with a chuckle.

"Anyway, from the moment I left and caught up with the remnants of the retreating army, I've never had a good night's sleep. No one night. No one night, Honey. Until the very moment I came to Atlanta, risking imprisonment, and I did, as you know. But I got there and the first thing I did was to find out the news about one stubborn green-eyed lady. Who do you think I mean?" he asked, smiling uncertainly.

She looked intently into his eyes. He couldn't change the fact that he'd left her in that moment. But at least he cared.

"I was madly, terribly afraid something might happen to you, Scarlett," he said in a husky voice, as if reading her thoughts.

Rhett was already so close to her, looking at her in a peculiarly serious way, and her palms were suddenly sweating, her heart was racing again, and she found nothing else to do but say with a fake smile, "I hope... I hope you really didn't sleep well, Rhett Butler! And if something had happened to me, my ghost would have kept you awake for the rest of your life! I suppose it would be a short one," she finished the sentence, chuckling nervously to relieve the tension. He grinned, then rose from the floor, moved the wooden chair over to her, and taking her hands in his, said more seriously, "Let's make up with you now, Scarlett, because this game of silence is already..."

"I don't think we're playing anymore, Rhett," she interrupted him with a slight smile.

He grinned, but she yawned at that moment, and covering her mouth with the palm of her hand, she only told him guiltily, "I'm sorry, Rhett, I didn't sleep well last night."

He noted her sleeping problem again, but decided to joke, "I hope it was thinking about me that kept you awake, Honey."

Scarlett just hummed and added under her breath, "God, you incorrigible varmint!"

"Come on Scarlett, I'll take you home," he told affectionately, stood up and without letting go of her hands, helped her up, pulling her to him.

They stood close, very close, her hands in his, and Rhett stared at her intently, as if trying to see into her soul through her eyes.

It was exciting and awkward to stand so close to him, to feel his warm palms on hers, to endure his penetrating gaze. Goosebumps ran up her spine again, and at that moment Rhett leaned over and lightly kissed the corner of her lips, whispering, "No more silence, Scarlett."