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I dreamed.
In the dream I was floating, all alone.
Even though I was barely conscious, not aware of anything at all, I could still feel something like water. My back against an endless ocean, my face pointed up to the sky…
Then, the moment my eyes open, I find myself in a completely white world.
An empty, fog-filled expanse where light shimmered as it passed through the air. Nothing was in that place except the constant white light and that fog around me. It felt very familiar, somehow.
I could not see the sky, as the fog was too thick. The ground below my feet looked almost liquid, despite feeling firm.
My body was light.
And when I looked down, I saw quite a disturbing image.
I didn't have a body at all.
A cloud of black haze had replaced my flesh and blood, where I once had a torso and limbs. My entire body had disappeared- in that place, I had become a cloud of darkness.
I tried to raise an arm, and a limb emerged from my side. It was amorphous and see-through in certain places, like a living clump of smoke. I had become some kind of spirit.
It was a strange dream, and very realistic, too. I could feel the world pass through me, and the buoyancy of my body in the still air.
I noticed then a man was standing in front of me.
I didn't know when he had appeared. He might have been there the whole time, watching me in silence.
I couldn't make out any of his features- but it wasn't like he wore any concealing clothing, or a mask to hide his face. Actually, it looked like he wore no clothing at all.
-Was he naked? I couldn't tell.
It was difficult to see him when the fog hid everything. I don't think there was any color in his skin.
He was featureless, pure white, with an unnaturally smooth body. He looked more like a mannequin than a person. Maybe my eyes weren't working right- or maybe that place didn't have light like the real world did.
It was the void world, after all. Not that I knew it at the time.
That man standing there, looking at me as the fog concealed his body, was silent for a while. But as soon as I noticed him, he shifted on his feet.
I looked into his eyes past the fog. I could still read his features. He was smiling.
"Ah, that's a really interesting form to take, you know?"
If I had any eyebrows, I would have raised one. As it was, I just stared. Then I looked down at my wraith-like body.
"...I didn't exactly choose it…"
He lifted one of those featureless white arms to scratch the back of his head.
"Eheh, I guess not," He said. "-Anyways! This is our first time meeting. It's good to meet you, Jino."
I bobbed my head. He was very friendly in the way he spoke.
"Um, nice to meet you too." I tried to get a closer look at him, to identify anything else, but I couldn't. As if a veil was concealing him. "Who are you, by the way?"
I was no longer sure this was a dream. It felt too real. -And I didn't often have dreams, anyway. But if it wasn't a dream, then I had to focus.
His words disrupted my train of thought.
"Well, I'm a pretty special person."
"..."
"I'm the Human God- Hitogami."
I blinked at him. -Or I would have if I had any eyelids. As it was, I could only stare. His smile twitched, I think.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yep!" He said.
"Why is someone like you talking to me?"
"Because you're an important person, too. Jino."
I bobbed my head again, as close to a nod as I could.
I felt the urge to pinch myself. I would have if I could. But my body was smoke.
In the few fleeting pieces of knowledge I had grasped in my life about magic, and the mages who practiced it to the south and east, I had never heard of magic that could interact with dreams. …I had never heard of the 'Human God', either. He didn't exactly look like the Sword God.
-It wouldn't hurt to be polite.
"Well, it's an honor, I suppose," I said.
"Yes!" He nodded gravely, but in a sarcastic kind of way. Really, very energetic.
"Anyways," He said, "That form of yours is really funny."
He was making small talk now. …Or maybe something more.
"How so?" I asked.
"I mean, what you look like now is your spiritual body."
His words rang in my head, between my ears.
I looked down at myself. The smoke that had wreathed itself into the form of a human, my see-through limbs, and the dark color. I looked like some kind of evil spirit, like a shadow or a wraith.
Why did my 'spiritual body' look so… evil?
"I mean, I don't think it's a matter of morality, more a matter of self-identity." He said. I looked at him again, tearing my eyes away from myself.
"What does that mean?"
He chuckled.
"Who knows! It's still really interesting. I've never seen anything like it."
He laughed then, like a little kid. I waited for him to finish, and then shifted, about to speak, but he talked over me.
"-But I do have a question for you, Jino."
He looked at me.
"How have you enjoyed your time in this world?"
I would have frowned if I could. I was getting a little suspicious by then, about who this person was, about what they might have wanted from me.
"Hey, I'm a nice guy, you know." He said, as if he could read my thoughts. "-I'm getting a little tired of people mistrusting me…"
If people don't trust you, it's probably for a reason. I didn't say that, but he still started to look annoyed.
I decided to answer his question truthfully, anyway.
"It's been… good," I said.
He smiled.
"How so?"
My body curled beneath me, the wisps of smoke rising in the air. There was a buzzing sound, very low, that rang through that place. Everything was blurry.
It was hard to find the words for what I wanted to say. I tried anyway. -Something about that person, Hitogami, started to relax me, soothe the suspicion I had. Maybe I got along well with that kind of energetic person.
"Just… I didn't know living could be so… meaningful." I said, lamely.
Somehow, despite the past months of isolation and slowly pulling away from my life, feeling that uncertainty rise in me, I told the truth. It was a strange feeling, but not uncomfortable- the feeling of living a life full of meaning.
I had enjoyed those nine years. Living like a child, feeling so filled with wonder… devoting myself to a goal. Despite the difficulties, it was all beautiful.
"I'm happy that I'm here."
The god smiled again. He seemed pleased with my answer.
"That's good! That's really good to hear, Jino." He said.
"...Why's that?"
"Well, have you ever wondered why you ended up getting reincarnated here?"
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"Yes."
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Hitogami looked at me.
"I'm the one who reincarnated you in this world."
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I had wondered, absently, over the years- about that question of my birth. My rebirth. How had it happened, why had it happened. While in those first few months of my life, I had been bitter, as I realized the beauty of this new life I began to see things differently.
"Really?"
"Oh yeah! I was the one who introduced you to this world." The god kept on speaking energetically. "I had a feeling it would be the perfect fit for you, you know?"
I still felt mistrustful of him. Why had he approached me now? -He must want something from me.
Of course, I was right to be suspicious. But that mistrust quickly disappeared in the face of the sudden emotion that swelled in my chest.
I bowed my head, as much as I could in that form.
"If you're telling the truth," I told the god in front of me, "then I need to thank you."
I raised my eyes and saw his smile was still fixed in place. He waved his hands in front of him, laughing.
"Oh, no need, really! I just wanted to give you some advice, just something for you to think about going forward. I won't keep you for long."
He continued.
"You're just a kid right now, but you've got good potential, Jino. Your body's strong."
It felt a little strange for an actual god to say that to me.
"-Anyways, do you want to hear some advice from me?"
"...Sure."
The gratitude had cooled off and was replaced by a feeling of calm. I wasn't exactly sure what to think of the person standing there, speaking to me in my dream, but I decided to hear him out.
If he was telling the truth, I owed him that, at least.
"Great! -I will warn you, though, this is only a precaution, all right? Something to look out for."
He sounded grim when he said that. I nodded, uncertain.
He cleared his throat.
"Jino! Beware the prodigal mage, who may appear to you in the future." He said in that grave, sarcastic voice.
I nodded, again, in that smoke form.
"Is that… it?"
"And also, be sure to keep on training, all right? You'll need it in the future."
"...Okay."
He looked at me for a moment before breaking out into a smile again.
"Really, you're a good guy. Really easy to get along with."
…And he was back to sounding untrustworthy.
The white world, filled with mist, began to fade away. I watched silently as everything around me began to dim, the strange light already filtering to nothing.
"Wait," I said, as he had already begun to turn away from me.
The light returned, and he looked at me again. He seemed a little surprised that I had spoken.
"Yes?"
A question was on my mind. Maybe he would know the answer. -He was a self-proclaimed god, after all.
"Do you know the man that I killed, last winter?"
He chuckled. It sounded similar to how he had spoken before. Sarcastic and pointed; a blade aimed at a weak spot in my guard. But it was just a laugh.
"Yes, I do. Do you want to know his name?" He asked.
"...Yeah."
Although my body was nothing but black smoke and mist, I felt the familiar tinge of anxiety building up inside of me. Like muscles tensing before the start of a duel. The mocking smile on his face made those emotions rise, I think.
"His name was Hans. Hans Regol. A bandit from the northern coast."
I nodded. The name burned itself into memory, but I wasn't feeling thankful. Already, I was thinking about how stupid a question that was. It was the kind of thing I had already resolved to not do; it was only going to weaken my mind, inflate my useless, unwanted thoughts.
I didn't need that answer. He knew I didn't need it.
"It's okay to feel empathy."
I was surprised to hear the emotion in the Man-God's voice. It was the first time he had spoken softly, the entire conversation. I looked up at him, and he continued.
"But I do think, from where I'm standing, you're on the right track. Keep on training! It'll turn out alright." He nodded to himself.
My emotions were still tangled. At least he was enthusiastic.
"Is that more of your advice?" I asked.
"Of course." He said.
And the world disappeared.
The fog, blurry and incandescent, filled my vision and the light dimmed to black. I lost sight of that man, and my hearing faded to a fuzz, like I had fallen into a bottomless hole.
I was sinking into nothingness.
-Or was I rising?
I returned to silent sleep.
. . . . . . . .
A wooden ceiling filled my vision. My room was dark, the sun still hadn't come. That was what I saw every morning as I woke, before getting my clothes on and leaving on a run.
I didn't pull the sheets off me and get ready, though; I spent a while staring at the ceiling.
The bed was warm, unlike the bitter chill of the air in the holy land of the sword. But even despite the comfort I was always ready to step onto the road and begin a morning run, feeling my blood pumping through my body.
That moment, I stayed there, unmoving.
I didn't often have dreams, and I wasn't sure what to make of the one I just had.
I met a god, apparently. He told me to keep on training hard- which was a completely useless piece of advice- and to watch out for some 'genius mage.'
He was an energetic guy, with a friendly kind of voice. Easygoing, despite the strange fog that surrounded him and the veil that hid his features.
And according to him, he was the reason behind my new life.
I rose from my pillow and sat up in bed.
I was somewhat sure it wasn't just a dream- that had actually happened. It felt far too vivid to be a dream, too many sensations had bombarded me in that place- the feeling of my weightless body, the air flowing through me, that person's words ringing in my head…
Throwing on my clothes, stepping into shoes, and walking out into the pre-morning chill, I took a deep breath in. The late-summer snow crunched beneath my feet, and I took off away from my house. My parents were still asleep.
The day sat in front of me; I didn't know what to think about my dream, but nothing changed that. I had training to do.
I would keep focusing on the present, putting any other distractions far out of my mind.
And as I ran, focusing only on my breath, only on my body, I did not look up at the sky. In the early morning, before the sun rose, the stars were always visible. In my earlier years I would often look up at them in wonder. This was a world without light pollution. Those alien constellations could catch the eye almost as well as a beautiful sword. I was too preoccupied to admire them, then.
I would have seen something strange if I had taken the time, though.
Dozens of shooting stars, flying every way possible.
. . . . . . . .
Over that next year I did get rather good at focusing and clearing my mind, as I had hoped. Despite the strange warnings from that man in white, I did not meet any mage that year. I simply looked at myself and pushed all my attention onto my body.
I was sure that was the real essence of swordplay, or at least the Sword God Style. -A single moment of pure, sublime focus.
But it's hard to know how well you can grasp the art of focus, unless you look from the outside, in. All I know is that whether I grew or not, whether I became a greater person or not, things did change after that year.
After all, at ten years old, one year after that strange meeting with the Man-God, I advanced to the next stage of my life. I became a Sword Saint.
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*Author's Note*
This chapter was pretty fun to write. Hitogami's got a lot of things to think about, and any conversation with him is obviously going to have multiple layers… besides that, though, we're coming up to the conclusion of arc 1. I'll try to put out a chapter every weekend until the end of the arc, which should be soon. -Sorry about the delay on this chapter, my plan is to keep on going until the arc is done, from now on.
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