Okay, I have been stubborn. I am stubborn about finishing this, and that helps everyone, but I was also stubborn in a way that hurt everyone. I was stubbornly holding onto these 5 pages of fanfic in the hopes of writing a full 13 pages (as is my usual chapter.)

But no more. I am posting what I have and will be writing more, but at least you all have something to read and know I am still here. I may be crazy and pig-headed and troubled, but I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.

You need me, let me know. I'm here to help. I hope this chapter alleviates and brings some interest – though it's not the most cheery as the funny stuff was to happen in the next parts. Forgive! And have my love.

Mwafwa, Lady Kaliska, DaemonGirlJay and Hopelessly Addicted, thank you so much for reviews and sticking around!

XyoushaX, Filia will certainly be feeling the strain, but she has to fix Xellos before she can start complaining about having kids! LOL

Nicci Rickdad, and Nanya, the porn room was totally CEP's idea. I take little credit. :-) You're right, Nanya, Xellos has changed from the Land of the Dead. He is missing a connection and has gained that which he cannot come to terms with just yet. We'll see how it goes.

Vincellia Valentine: Thanks so much! I'm so sorry it's been long and I've not been posting on the Yahoo group as much. It's hard to keep a fandom alive, isn't it? I was just recently bemoaning that it'd been 15 years since one of my fav. TV shows was first on the air, and I'm shocked that it doesn't feel that long at all. Time flies. So glad that you like how I write the chars voices! I hear them myself, and they've really become a part of me. And if Xellos has anything to say about it, he's back for good this time.

Dreamseeker: Please review more, I am so glad to have a new reader! I appreciate you saying how you felt about Zelas and Luna. There aren't many who outright approved of the idea, but a handful did vocally oppose it.

AND THIS NEW CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO JABBERWOCKY.

Jabberwocky, I have such appreciation for your many reviews that I just cannot express. You helped push me forward down the very difficult path of picking myself up and writing again, during a time in my life that was very difficult. I hope you are still reading though your reviews have come to an end. If not, I would wish that life goes well for you, wherever you are!


Chapter 3

Wolfpack Island
June 12th, 2002

The dark woods tossed and moaned around her as she pressed onward. The night had fallen damp and bitingly cold, but though the clouds rolling in had brought with them rain, they also obscured the brilliant moon above, preventing it from illuminating her passage. With her dark green hair and matte black armor, she became just another shadow in the wind-swept forest.

The demoness moved carefully along the wet rock and muddied ground, not daring to attempt to phase - though her boots sometimes slipped, threatening to tumble her down the wooded ridge. Any magic she might use could lead a daring creature to find her, and she could not afford to be caught.

She considered her plan as she traversed the midnight countryside. It was quite dangerous to leave the castle and venture into the untamed wilderness beyond it. Not because the animals were any threat to a Mazoku, but instead due to the camps of renegades that dotted the lands, hiding in whatever hollows, caves and glades they could discover and stake a claim to.

The demoness smirked as she found herself at a clearing, the moon's barest glint from behind the clouds reflecting in her dark, glittering eyes. How foolish to allow the renegades upon her land, she mused as she began the slow and careful pace through the open field. Zelas could not have been forced to such a decision. There was no one remaining to pressure her into agreeing. That left only one other option: she must have chosen to do so. And the fact that she'd allowed them sanctuary simply spoke ever poorer of her strength. The Mistress should have struck down all Mazoku not her own, instead of allowing them to stain the beauty of the island.

If it were not for my own plans, I'd strike them down myself – though Zelas' wrath would soon be on my head, the Mother of All only knows why. Instead, she sought through the dark, dangerous lands for the very demons she despised – and the allies she required.

Though Zelas wasn't her real target, she stood in the way of her desires, she sullied the demon-race with her weaknesses and her perversions. And for that, the Hellmaster would fall before her.

After all, the green-haired demoness bared her fangs to the surfacing moon above, it's already been proven that a demon won't die should they slay their creator. The trick, then, was to accomplish the impossible and destroy a power far greater than one's own.

All that you have, I can take. All that you are, I can find a way to destroy. There are things worse than death, Kirelle chuckled softly in the darkness. And I will teach you each of them . . .

(-(-(-)-)-)

Wolfpack Island
June 13th, 2002

Filia sipped the dark tea from her china cup, letting the honeyed fluid warm her throat and stomach. It was just hot enough, with the taste of copper-berries and vanilla, a flavor that always proved to sooth her nerves. It reminded her of the fields of copper-berries that had grown nearby the first home she had lived in with Val, just outside of Seyruun, and hot summer days when she'd gathered them to sell at market.

She closed her eyes and sighed from where she sat, one leg crossed over the other in a fine cherry-wood chair. Up against the kitchen table, she listened to the sound of wind-chimes in the breeze that danced through the open window, the warm sun glowing against her skin through the wide panes of glass.

The house that Zelas had helped her create became permanent upon completion, and all but the pantry and kitchen shelves was impossible to alter now. It left Filia wondering at the nutrition of the magically created food . . . but since the magical source drew from the holy vessels, she presumed it would be fine.

So. Here we are. She studied the teacup she held, tracing the tiny purple flowers along the sides with a finger.

She'd not had a real home in about a month, and when she'd stood in the pantry and gazed at all the foodstuffs, then opened her tea cabinet and saw it stuffed with a variety of neatly placed tea boxes, she was flooded with emotion. It was as if the trials of the past few weeks and the gravity of their situation were only able to truly sink in at that moment, and they struck her with an almost physical sensation.

Shaken and alone with the memories of her prior life, Filia had closed the pantry door and immediately went to boil some water at her new stovetop. Tea, her salvation and solace, could be the only course of action lest she risk a complete collapse.

I'm fine. I'm strong, she told herself while draining her cup. Pouring another, she mused, Still, it's not unhealthy to miss my life and my friends. It's normal to feel this way.

When she'd first stepped into the completed home alone, she'd been reminded of the past by a solid lump of sorrow in her throat. Xellos had vanished to the Hollow Hill, Zelas had left her soon after the house had been finalized with that unsettling glimmer in her eyes, and Val and Iyzeka were spending time together as adolescents were wont to do. Filia was by herself . . . in a house made of little more than dreams and memories.

Never got to say goodbye, she mused to herself and sipped at the tea once more. I'd like to ask Xellos . . . ask him about the afterlife. Was Lina there? Will my friends be there? Will I see them again, and will they understand?

The pain of moving on was one she'd never gotten completely used to – and for that she was thankful. She believed that upon the moment she was no longer bothered by it – the instant the pain and death of friends, of patients, and even of strangers no longer brought a sense of loss and regret – she would have truly failed as a person, and become someone she could not face. So each moment, she tried to remember their suffering.

She'd had little time lately to think of them, and for that she felt selfish and cruel. So many living in pain and misery. There is only so much one person can do, she fretted, turning the teacup in her hands. What we are attempting will do more good than any amount of money, or healing, or food could accomplish, she convinced herself. We're doing the right thing.

Goodbye, my friends, Filia sent out into the universe, thinking of the doctors and nurses she'd worked with, the professors and students Val knew, and all the other souls she had befriended in New York. By the time we return, you will have lived thirty years more, never knowing where I vanished to. I'm sorry. I hope you think of me fondly. I hope we meet again, in the beyond.

The dragoness sipped from her cup while looking out at the brilliant sky shimmering with warmth, and felt her heart somewhat lighten. She had a family to take care of, and a future to tame. And, she considered thoughtfully, a certain demon to break through to.

Filia frowned. Xellos. Now that her mind had crossed him, she wondered just how the people of New York had reacted to a state representative vanishing. How many acquaintances did Xellos leave behind? Did anyone miss him when he was gone? A trace of jealousy colored her thoughts as she finished her second cup and abruptly set the china down on the table. I'm sure he had at least a dozen girls strung along behind him, she told herself fretfully, though a glimmer of uncertainty tinged the words.

Shaking off the feeling, Filia tossed her head and frowned out at the azure sky. Stick to the real issues, Filia. The real issue isn't what girlfriends he had, nor what you've left behind. Dwelling on the past is futile. The foolish musings of a foolish girl.

But she wasn't a girl anymore, she was a woman. Standing, the blonde went to the windows and gently opened them all, letting the air flow in and toss through her hair. "No more foolishness." With a frown, Filia watched the sun as it leisurely headed towards the horizon beyond a mass of ivory clouds. She purposefully set down her teacup, eyes still on the sky.

Strolling with a determined gait out onto the back patio - the wood all freshly painted white – Filia marched down the steps to stand in the field of grasses. She stared up at the faux sun, brilliance burning through her eyes and searing into her skin. Xellos is my problem. He's hurt. He's alone, just like I am. Why are the both of us alone? Why can't we be together, like we used to be? Why won't he talk to me?

Something had changed. Logically, he was feeling something, some turmoil that had altered everything he perceived. Stuck in a funk, she told herself, and smiled at the deep blue above. But then, is Lady Zelas right? Filia felt herself flushing at the thought, and touched her cheek considerately. Should I really use sex-appeal to get his attention? To shake him out of whatever is ailing him?

It would certainly make him sit up and take notice, considering that being a sexual creature was not something she was familiar with. The last time I tried something like that, he didn't even recognize me – most likely because I was the last person he expected to find at a pool party wearing a skimpy bathing suit.

But would it work a second time?

A sudden chiming sound startled her out of her musings, and Filia stood still in the green meadow, head bent curiously to the side. "What's that?"

Then with a flush she recognized it, and hurriedly headed inside the house. The doorbell, she chuckled at herself. But . . . there's nobody here but me and the kids in their tree-house! Frowning, Filia approached the front door, gearing herself up for a good yell if this ended up being the kids' idea of a funny joke.

But when she opened the broad oak door, unsure of what to expect but warily listening for laughter, the Golden Dragon found a pleasant surprise. A medium-sized brown box sat on her front step, with a white square of paper upon which, in large cursive writing, was written Filia Ul Copt.

"A package?" she wondered, and bent to pick it up, finding it rather heavy but of course easy for her to lift. "But who'd send me something here?" Maybe it still was a practical joke that Val and Iyzeka had cooked up, she considered, yet another part of her began to flutter to life with excitement.

Filia almost bounded into the kitchen with her box, the strange exhilaration becoming stronger. Maybe it's from Xellos, she told herself, hope eclipsing what little doubt niggled in her mind. Maybe he's feeling better . . .

Sitting down at the table, she giggled and put the box in her lap and studied the note taped upon it.

Filia Ul Copt
Dimensional Bubble
Hellmaster Zelas' Castle
Wolfpack Island

Filia smiled as she felt her heart lighten, certain now that it was from Xellos. It's just like him to do something like this. But what could he have sent me? Why wouldn't he just give it to me in person?

Her mood suddenly plummeted as she realized the answer to that question: Because he doesn't want to face me. Her shoulders slumped. "Still," she whispered, "he sent it to me. He bothered." He must still care . . .

She set about opening the box, deftly running her strong fingernails down the center of the taped edges and opening the flaps with one smooth motion. Inside sat a mass of indigo fabric, thick and course but soft. As she lifted it out, she realized it was only the wrapping around a large, heavy object . . . a familiar weight in her hand.

Quickly Filia unwrapped the covering from around the item, her sudden sense of surety becoming stronger with every rotation of cloth. Within moments, she stood looking down at the spiked contours of her mace.

Surprise lit her features and she instinctively drew the weapon to her chest, an overwhelming nostalgia washing over her. Xellos . . . Affection overcame her, and she sat down in the chair, touched beyond belief. Even though he's upset and stricken, he still cares about me. But how of heaven did he manage to get it through the shield! I know it was left behind in China. Whatever spell he used must have been very powerful.

At that, Filia was struck with the thought that there might be more in the box, and she quickly went to search it. However, to her frustration, she found it completely empty. Left with little else to do, she slumped back into her chair and studied her gift, spinning it in her hands and watching the way the lamplight glistened dully off the matte texture of the metal. Xellos. So mysterious. Thank you.

It was a thoughtful gesture. Yet the more she thought upon it, the more her concern grew over Xellos' condition. What is going on? It's not like him to be so reserved. It's like he's hiding from me – physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Brows furrowing, the blonde ran a thumb over the spikes with a pensive sigh. This is a sign. A sign that it's time to act. No more reacting. . . It's time to be proactive and fix this situation.

Filia rose from the chair and stalked towards the front door of her home, eyes narrowed shards of ice and shoulders squared. I'm going to find Zelas, and then we're going to fix this. Now – before it's too late.

Before the Xellos I love is gone forever.