Didn't intend to publish this so early after the last chapter as I am not sure of the next part yet. Do I want to see the memorial? Funeral? Therapy? However I was desperate for some Chicago PD fix (and I assumed many were too!) so I thought I'd throw a short one before the hiatus ends.
Hailey had just finished folding laundry when the doorbell rang. She used her off day to do chores, go to the gym, and eat at her favourite restaurant across the city. When she offered to Jay to tell her if he needed anything, she didn't think much of it. So when Jay actually picked up on the offer and called her, telling her that he needed a drink, she was surprised.
"Wow, beer for real this time," teased Hailey when she saw the six-pack beer Jay brought. Yesterday the beer had turned into tea.
"Hey, sorry I interrupted your plan," said Jay. He opened the fridge and put the beers, save two.
"Yeah, I was planning on folding laundry all night," said Hailey, laughing as she hauled the laundry basket into her room. She came back in a minute, sitting beside Jay on the couch. Jay passed her a bottle of beer. "You went missing or what? Will called me earlier."
"I was asleep," said Jay. "I'm going to work tomorrow. Don't feel like doing nothing all day."
"You tell me. A day off and I did all chores, went groceries, ate out, went to the gym… more productive than I've been ever," Hailey laughed.
"I'm going to work tomorrow to avoid doing those things," Jay smirked. Hailey smiled. They enjoyed the beer in silence.
"I walked away on Will," said Jay finally.
"Wanna talk about it?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head.
"No, just let me wind off here for a bit. I don't want to disturb you."
"It's okay."
"I've wanted to ask you. Will said you were in the hospital yesterday," said Jay.
"Yeah… I was there. I didn't think you wanted to see me. Voight sent me home," said Hailey. Jay sipped his beer and decided to drop it. Hailey texted Will to stop him from worrying.
"Will said I've been bottling up inside," Jay surprised both of them after fidgeting with his beer label for a while. "Nat tried to talk to me yesterday, I brushed her off… I don't want to talk to her. She's Will's girlfriend, I shouldn't have to tell her anything. But for Will, that's a sign I won't talk, and I would be going down the hole again."
"She's gonna be your family," said Hailey, avoiding talking about Jay spiralling last year. It was still a sensitive topic between them, but she was glad he got the help he needed.
"I get that she wanted to help, but I don't want to talk to her. Doesn't mean I'm bottling things up," said Jay. Hailey understood the unspoken meaning: 'I talked to you'.
"No, you don't…" Hailey shook her head, wanting to continue but stopped herself. Jay asked with his eyebrows. "But I understand where Will's worry came from. For him—for us—to watch you last year was hard. I didn't know you well enough last year, not that I didn't care, and it was hard for me. I cannot imagine how he felt." She chose her words carefully. Jay ran from Will to her place, where would Jay run to if she made him angry?
"I won't suggest you to do anything, don't get me wrong, but after what happened with my UC work with Booth, I went into therapy. I'm glad I did, just like you said when you went to one, it was helpful. Talking to people you know, who cares about you, it helps. But they're professional, they're neutral. They're not there to guard your feeling, they're there to make you better," said Hailey. She maintained eye contact with Jay to convey her genuine concern.
"Do you think I need it?" Jay's question was barely above whisper. Hailey shrugged her shoulders. "You work with me. Do you trust me?"
"I do, yeah, there's no questioning that. I need your head screwed on straight, though. Really, I'm not at liberty to say, Will must has other reasons other than you won't talk to Natalie. And, again, I don't need you justifying things to me. I won't push you unless I really need to."
"Things are so messed up right now I don't know what is needed anymore," Jay grabbed another beer from the fridge. He drank slowly, thinking hard. Hailey's phone rang.
"Hey, yeah… yeah. It's okay, I'll drive him if he drinks too much. Yeah, I think so. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," said Hailey. "That's Will. He wanted you to call him to drive you home, in case you drink. He said he promised he won't ask. I told him I'll drive you home." Jay nodded.
"Tomorrow's the memorial, you'll come?" asked Jay.
"Will just asked. Yeah, I will, hopefully there's no new case tomorrow." Hailey raised her eyebrows. She stifled a yawn.
"Have you cleared it with Voight, to come in tomorrow?" asked Hailey.
"I have. He wanted to meet me early, though, so if you want to hear me being yelled at, tomorrow's the perfect time," Jay's face turned sour.
"I'll wait with Trudy," said Hailey.
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Hailey," Jay stood, squeezed her shoulder, and left.
Hailey had been calling Jay five times. Every time it went to voicemail after not being picked up. Voight had called, saying that there's a crime scene, but he wanted them both to finish last case's paperwork. Also, he couldn't reach Jay, which was weird. Jay always answers on first ring. Voight asked Hailey to tell Jay to come in a bit later as he would not be at the district. It's 6.15 am anyway, he should be awake. When she heard nothing from him, she made up her mind. She packed her bag and left, going to Jay's place.
Jay's car is parked on the road, so she let herself in the main door. Ever since Kevin was abducted, Voight required all members swap keys. At first Hailey wasn't thrilled, at that time Jay was still fresh from Camilla's fiasco and holding her at arm's length. They agreed to never use it unless necessary, they still knocked on the doors and never let themselves in. When Hailey didn't hear any response after knocking on Jay's door and calling his phone for a couple minutes, she took a deep breath and hoped Jay won't be too angry about her using her key. She slid the key into the hole and turned it, one hand on her weapon.
Turning on the light, she heard muffled sound from the bedroom. As often as she was here, she never went into the bedroom. She held her breath and opened the door slightly. Jay was trashing around on his bed, clearly having a nightmare. His breath was rugged. He let out a silent scream once in a while. Hailey considered two options quickly: 1) called Will, or 2) woke Jay up. Thinking that Will lives on the other side of the city, Hailey chose option 2. She stepped into the bedroom and very cautiously touched Jay's shoulder. She stepped back quickly, knowing he might fight her. Jay shot up sitting, his eyes wide and full of fear, his hands made a defence position.
"Jay!" Hailey's voice brought him back from Afghanistan to his apartment. His eyesight focused and he saw Hailey in front of him, eyes full of concern, but kept her distance. He suddenly realised that he almost hit her, and he panicked. He put his hands over his face. He felt Hailey's hand brushed against his back, rubbing his back as he tried to control his breathing.
"Don't do that again," said Jay as his breathing went back to normal. He felt chills all over his body as he was drenched in sweat.
"Sorry, you didn't answer your phone, and I've been at the door for sometimes I was worried…" Hailey trailed off.
"Not that. Don't come near me when I have nightmare. I might hurt you," whispered Jay.
"But you didn't," Hailey squeezed Jay's shoulder. She left and came back with a glass of water. Jay held out his trembling hands to accept the glass, than took small sips. Hailey's hand was on his back, holding him grounded, rather than floating back to the warzone.
"Why are you here?" asked Jay after a few minutes.
"You didn't answer your phone," said Hailey. Jay looked around for his phone. His eyes widened at the time.
"I have to go to Med to change my dressing. I'll be ready shortly," said Jay. He held the wound at his stomach, which felt slightly strange.
"No, actually, Voight called. There's a crime scene, but we're not called in. We have to finish the report before lunch. He said to come in a bit later, means that the yelling can wait," said Hailey. "I'll drive you to Med." She left Jay's room.
Jay stumbled to the bathroom, took a quick shower, and got dressed. He saw a man with shadows under his eyes looking back at him from the mirror. He took a deep breath before going to the kitchen. Hailey had made herself a cup of coffee and was scrolling through her phone. She didn't mention anything about witnessing Jay's nightmare.
"You want coffee?" asked Hailey. Jay thought of it, his stomach did feel funny. He didn't want to insult it further with caffeine.
"No, thanks," said Jay, prompting Hailey to look surprised. He drank a glass of water and grabbed his shoes. "I have to go to Med first. Is Voight expecting you early? I can drive myself."
"He's not at the district probably until around 10. He made it clear that we're involved in the new case only after last one's paperwork is done," Hailey finished her coffee. "No, you're not driving. I'll drive you to Med, then to the district." They went to Hailey's car.
"Hey, about what you saw…" Jay trailed off once they were inside the car. What exactly was he trying to say? 'Forget about it'? Or 'that doesn't happen every day'? Hailey looked at him. "I'm working on getting the nightmares under control. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. Since my father died, it came in full force. I couldn't even close my eyes without getting nightmares," admit Jay. His eyes widened when he remembered that he fell asleep on Hailey's shoulder, for a whole night, without getting nightmares.
"You don't have to explain if you don't want to," Hailey touched his arm.
"Don't come near me again when I have nightmare, Hailey. I don't wanna hurt you," said Jay.
"You won't. I have good reflexes too," Hailey smiled. "Anything I can do to help, Jay. And I'm sorry I let myself into your apartment," She started the car.
"I'll take that as necessary. I'd do the same thing if I called you ten times and you do not answer," Jay shrugged.
Redressing the wound at Med was a breeze. The ED was empty, only two patients, both were injured while out in the night. Jay got Ethan to change his dressing in five minutes. Jay slipped outside quickly. He knew Will was not working, but he was not in the mood of seeing Natalie.
"What was that? Redressing a wound or changing band aid?" asked Hailey, enlightening their moods.
"I got my wound redressed, not stitched," countered Jay. "Alright, let's do the paperwork!"
"Yeah, let's see that enthusiasm at 11 after you type your report, Halstead," teased Hailey.
"Let's make a deal. First to finish report get free lunch?" challenged Jay.
"Game on. You're the one who got shot, your report would be a mile long," Hailey smirked. Jay just laughed. He planned on buying Hailey lunch anyway… after everything, he could say thank you to his partner for being there for him.
