Med was buzzing with chaos when Hailey arrived. Maggie pulled her into the break room, which clearly had seen a better day. "It was mad, we had patients here today too," said Maggie. "Dr. Sexton will see you soon. Sorry, but the observation rooms are filled with patients from the school bombing."

"If there's an emergency, I can wait," said Hailey.

"Honey, this is ER. Of course everything is emergency. There's no life-threatening case, Dr. Sexton can see you." They looked at Noah who just entered the break room. He assessed Hailey's arm, relieving her from the use of sling, but tied her shoulder and arm.

"Is this wound from the bombing?" asked Noah.

"Yeah, but I just had Dr. Manning redress it, so it should be fine," said Hailey.

"You're good to go then," said Noah. Hailey said thank you, then went to the lobby where Jay waited. He rose when she approached and they walked to the car.

"Beer and pizza?" asked Jay.

"Yeah. Clearly babysitting is more tiring than detective job."

"Second that," said Jay. "Halstead," he answered his phone. "Alright. Thanks. That was Adam. The suspect cracked in interrogation. Well, he didn't really lie, though, he was honest about wanting to terrorise families. Apparently he was abused by his family, was bullied in school, and wanted to give an out for kids and teens. There's another bomb planted in church for tomorrow's service, bomb squad managed to defuse it," said Jay.

"Good, he can no longer do that," said Hailey. They picked up pizza on the way and went to Hailey's place, tucked in on the pizza immediately. "What a day, we can't even survive a day babysitting without drama. It's terrible," Hailey said once they finished the pizza and Jay cracked open two beers, passing one to her.

"Yeah it was," agreed Jay.

"You okay? It can be a little…triggering," said Hailey. Jay shrugged his shoulders. Hailey looked at him. Jay avoided her eyes, knowing he was likely to break any second. Hailey's touch on his arm broke his dam.

"It was awful, Hailey. The first victim I saw was a little girl. She died instantly, with her dog… I think she happened to play hide and seek near the exploded trash can. There's another child, his leg got blown up… his dad died. All because he wanted to play kite today. How can people do that to them? I mean… I've never seen anything as terrible after Afghanistan," Jay's voice was shaken with anger and fear. "We chased criminals, took drug off the street, but one guy decided to destroy families because of a childhood trauma?" Jay put his head in his hands; his breathing went rapid as he went into panic attack. Hailey put her hand around his shoulder and guided him to breathe.

"It's okay, breathe, in and out, in, out…" Hailey soothed Jay and guided him breathing. She rubbed circles on his back. "Jay, follow my breathing. Come on, you can do it. Deep breathe," she forced Jay to look at her. His skin was pale and clammy and tears were streaming down his face. She pulled Jay to lean on to her shoulder, purposely taking deep breathes until Jay's breathes mimic hers.

"Gosh… sorry, Hailey," he wiped his tears and tried to contain himself. "I didn't mean to… sorry."

"Of course you didn't mean to. It's okay, it happened," said Hailey. She wanted to grab a glass of water for Jay, but he grabbed her hand as soon as she stood.

"Stay, wait. I'm still…" Jay trailed off. Hailey understood. The memory from the afternoon brought him back to the war. To be honest, Hailey expected this reaction, after witnessing a couple panic attacks and nightmares last week. That was why she considered exchanging places with Jay earlier, had she not been hurt. Not that she enjoyed seeing torn up bodies, children especially, but it would give less impact for her than Jay. She rubbed Jay's back.

"It should've been me who go to the scene," said Hailey.

"No, Hailey, no. I don't wish you seeing that kind of scene. I don't wish my worst enemy seeing that kind of scene. It was terrible," Jay released Hailey's hand, his hand was still trembling hard. Hailey grabbed a glass of water and pushed it into Jay's hands.

"I'm sorry you got reminded of it," offered Hailey.

"Today was kind of worse than war, because it happened in our own country, our own neighbourhood. Hell, it could've been us that got blown today. It changed me. I'm glad you've never seen it. Not that you can't handle it, it's just… no," said Jay. "I'd happily see another gruesome scene again if that means you got spared from seeing it. It will scar you for life." He realised how loaded his words were, however, those were true. He would do anything to protect her, both physically in a gunfight, and mentally.

"Thanks, Jay. That means a lot. But I've submitted myself to those things when I joined the Academy," Hailey smiled sadly. "Robbery Homicide scarred me too… I don't know whether it compared to the scene from today, but I don't need to be spared. We're even partners. I'd do it for you too, if that means you don't get another panic attack." Jay squeezed Hailey's hand, feeling grateful once more for a partner with a heart of gold.

"The whole day, I was worried I would break down if I didn't focus enough. That's why I didn't want to talk about it, especially in front of Angie and Owen."

"You managed to delay the reaction," stated Hailey.

"Yeah, that's the best I can do for now. It's inevitable, but I can delay it. Having them did help, though. I forgot what happened and could relax," Jay smiled. "I even got to sleep a bit and didn't have panic attack when I woke up."

"Which is good, you had two kids on your lap," reminded Hailey. "You look very peaceful though, with them latching on to you. Even Platt melted seeing you."

"What can I say, I have that effect on Platt," Jay raised his eyebrow, prompting laughter and eye roll from Hailey. "I'm sorry that everyone made fun of us looking like a family, if that made you uncomfortable."

"No, it didn't," said Hailey. "Every time I brought Angie out, people always comment on how alike we are, I didn't even bother correcting them anymore when they referred to her as my daughter. Hell, even my sister-in-law didn't bother correcting when I went with them."

"She really looks like you, I couldn't believe it," said Jay. "Were you that well-behaved too?"

"I don't think so, she's very mature for her age. Her mum works shift and her dad works long hours, she's used to entertaining herself. I have two older brothers who doted on me. Of course I was self-centric as a kid, I was the apple of their eyes, the little princess," Hailey laughed.

"Ah, you've been bossy since you were born," mocked Jay.

"Whatever you say," Hailey laughed and threw TV remote at Jay.

"Yesterday, in the therapist's office… I got panic attack too. The difference was I had to pull myself together by myself. She didn't help, she just watched me. She said I have to be able to overcome it, to gain full control of the attack. Took me more than 15 minutes to calm down. I nearly passed out," said Jay.

"So did I do wrong?" asked Hailey.

"According to the therapist, yes. But according to me, no. I need to be kept grounded, it was horrible going through a panic attack by myself," said Jay. Hailey only nodded, her heart broke a little when she remembered what Jay said a couple days prior. Not many people are willing to stay through a panic attack. So he had been through some by himself. She grabbed a beer, contemplating whether to offer one to Jay. He might want to drive home tonight.

"Get me one if you don't mind," said Jay. "How was Voight's meeting with your parents? You looked terrified," he snickered.

"It was weird. My parents were like, oh, so you're behind our daughter's injuries? Mind you, I was the princess in the family before my nieces came along. But he charmed them, I think, he said, 'yes sir, it was unfortunate, but she's been an asset to us'. My parents used to think I threw my life away when I went to the Academy straight out of college. I'm kind of glad Voight said that to them. And he promised them that he would look out for me," Hailey smiled.

"I wish I could've promise them that, too. You were hurt again today, under my nose. I will bubble wrap you next time. You've been hurt three times in two weeks," said Jay. The bruise on Hailey's cheek was only starting to disappear, and now she sported a bandage on her hairline.

"Why are you keeping tab?" Hailey rolled her eyes. "Good thing is I'm no longer on desk duty. I can go back to field again on Monday," she said giddily.

"What did I just say? I'm gonna bubble wrap you so you don't get further injuries," said Jay. "Med is really going to award you platinum membership otherwise." Hailey didn't comment. Jay picked up his phone and look through messages.

"Are you going home or crashing here?" Finally she voiced the thing that was on their minds. Jay suspected he would get nightmare later tonight. He didn't want Hailey to see him having nightmare, but he needed Hailey to ground him, to hold and talk to him through the nightmare.

"Do you mind?" Jay asked sheepishly.

"Duh, Jay, if I minded, I would've kicked you to the curb already!" Hailey went to the hallway cabinet and pulled an extra set of blanket—my blanket, Jay thought—and threw it at Jay. "I'm gonna start charging some fee though," she joked.

"Don't let Platt hear that. You just told her that you work as babysitter, too. She will think that we are underpaid," said Jay. Hailey laughed and pulled out a tequila bottle.

"I asked because I was about to offer you alcohol," Hailey smirked, passing him a glass. They had a drink while watching NBA replay. Hailey started to nod off, but pretended she didn't every time she realised it.

"Hey, this is my bed. Go sleep on yours," joked Jay. He was nervous about sleeping, he was almost certain he would get nightmare. Hailey had seen it before, but he wanted to spare her from seeing another one. He didn't know how to at least keep his nightmare quiet, he usually made noises.

"Yeah… I'm gonna call it a day," said Hailey. She rose, picking up beer bottles from the table. Jay made a split decision.

"Hey, I know you're tired and injured, but… actually, I needed… no, I'm wondering if you… if you could stay until I'm asleep," he said sheepishly. Hailey looked at him, her expression was unreadable. "I mean, I understand if you don't want to, it's just…" he started rambling.

"Lie down," ordered Hailey. She sat down and put a cushion near her for Jay to sleep on. "You don't need to beat around the bush, Jay. Just ask," she chastised lightly as Jay settled on the couch.

"We're partners, you don't need to deal with my shit," reasoned Jay.

"We're friends, your shit is my shit," Hailey fixed the blanket. "Thanks for babysitting with me today. It was fun, despite what happened," she ran her hand on Jay's shoulder, a position they were becoming familiar with lately.

"Yeah, if Intelligence doesn't work out, we can open a babysitting business," joked Jay.

"And you're gonna bubble wrap each kid, I know." They both laughed. She hummed lightly following the rhythm of the mid-game singer in TV. She intended to wait a bit until Jay fell asleep, then moved to her room. However, her eyelids became heavier every minute. Before she knew it, she fell asleep sitting on the couch.


Jay woke up at 3 am to a late night TV comedy show. He looked around and saw Hailey sitting in her original position before he was asleep. Her position seemed painful, and he was sure she would feel stiff the following day. Feeling a bit guilty because obviously she stayed for him, he touched her shoulder.

"Hailey, wake up," he whispered, didn't actually have the heart to wake her up. After the day she went through and the additional injury, she deserved to have a long, uninterrupted rest. She didn't react. Decision had been made. He tip-toed to Hailey's room to open the door and her duvet. He pulled Hailey to lean on him, easily manoeuvring her body and slipped his other hand under his knee. He then carried her to her room, half amused and half jealous that she didn't even stir as he settled her down on the bed. He tucked her in, smiling fondly as he saw her peaceful face, despite the bandage on her forehead and bruise on her cheek. He left her room and went back to the couch. Last year he despised having a new partner, but now he couldn't imagine not having her as his partner. He fell asleep feeling at peace.


A short one, an angsty one (sorry!), should've been in the same chapter with the last one, but I split it due to the length. Which length of chapter is actually preferable? I like writing longer ones (3500ish words like last one), but I found most fanfics' chapter is around 1000-2000 words (this one is 2400). Anyway, appreciate all the comments and looking forward to some Upstead contents in the hiatus!