Hailey woke up to the smell of food and coffee. She yawned and went to the kitchen, dragging her feet. Jay was cooking breakfast.

"Hey, sleep well?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks," Jay smiled. Hailey poured herself a cup of coffee and sighed as the caffeine entered her system.

"Glad to hear that. I think I slept before you did, I was really tired."

"Maybe you did. I woke up at 3 and you were folded in a painful position," said Jay.

"You carried me to my room?" asked Hailey. Jay suddenly thought that he must have crossed boundaries.

"Yeah, sorry, I thought you would be stiff in the morning otherwise, so I took you to your room. Sorry," said Jay.

"No, thank you," said Hailey. "What are you making?"

"Just egg and toast, your fridge isn't exactly inspiring," mocked Jay.

"What can I do, I have only one hand this past week," said Hailey. "I do have some bacon, though." She rummaged through her fridge and passed a pack of bacon to him.

"How's the head?" asked Jay.

"It's okay. I'll change the dressing," Hailey went to the bathroom to freshen up. She took a shower, being careful of not getting water into the bandage, and emerged feeling refreshed after showering and washing her hair. She grabbed emergency kit and went into the bathroom.

"Need help?" asked Jay as he watched her from the kitchen.

"No, I'm good," she answered. Minutes later she went to the kitchen, smiling widely seeing a plate of breakfast waiting for her. Jay had already started his breakfast, scrolling through his phone.

"Total of 14 casualty yesterday," Jay sighed.

"Thank God the church bomb didn't explode, otherwise…" Hailey cringed. "My mum said Angie didn't stop talking about Aunt Trudy and Owen," she changed the topic.

"You have to tell Platt," Jay laughed.

"When's your next therapy?" asked Hailey.

"Monday morning," Jay played with his toast. "Not really looking forward to it, considering how badly the last session went."

"It'll get better," Hailey smiled.

"I don't know. Judging from my reaction yesterday, it got worse," Jay looked down, feeling deflated. "I thought I'd be able to manage my reaction…"

"It takes time, Jay. Baby steps."

"I just want to live normally. To be able to sleep after a rough day. It seems everyone can do it, except me."

Hailey cringed inside seeing how broken Jay looked. She knew Jay partly talked about her. She didn't even realise Jay carried her to bed last night, which shows how deep her sleep was.

"Jay, come on. It's not comparable. Everyone had their fair share of nightmare. For me, it's mutilation, kids, and all that, not to mention…" Hailey caught herself at the last moment. "Point is, everyone has their own demons."

"I don't wish that on you, Hailey. You know that. It's just…" Jay trailed off, considering his next statement. "It's just… I feel weak for reacting the way I did yesterday, and the past weeks." He couldn't bring himself to look at Hailey.

"Well, if this is any consolation… Your life lately wasn't a walk in the park," Hailey shrugged. "If my opinion still matters, and this is a honest one, I think you handled it okay."

"Thanks."

"Hey, you did sleep well after you put me to bed last night?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah… I guess. Didn't think about it when I woke up," Jay smiled.

"See, small steps," Hailey's eyes were bright when she realised that she got something to cheer Jay up. "And don't play with your food," she scolded, pointing at Jay's plate. He had been poking his toast since they started talking.

"Yes, mum," Jay teased her. He grabbed another cup of much needed coffee after the heavy conversation. "I need to head out shortly, Natalie said Will got the mother of all migraines, she's on morning shift, and Owen is with his grandma. She asked me to check on him sometime today," Jay cringed.

"Poor Will, migraine's the worst," said Hailey.

"Yeah. I'm gonna pick something up on the way, if he can handle food," Jay started washing their plates.

"I can make him some soup," offered Hailey. "You can go home and change, and pick it up later on the way to Will's."

"That sounds good. I'll come by in 30 minutes, is that alright?" asked Jay.

"Sure," Hailey started picking ingredients from her fridge. "Is chicken noodle soup okay?"

"Perfect. Alright, I'll be back later," said Jay. "Thank you, Hailey, for dealing with my shit. I still owe you dinner, after my sessions are finished. Whenever it is, after the demons no longer bother me."

"You'll get there," Hailey squeezed Jay's arm. "Thanks for the breakfast."

"It's your food," Jay laughed, then he left. Something inside him told him that he shouldn't make that a habit, crash on Hailey's couch, and spend the morning with her. However, he couldn't help but admit that he enjoyed it.


Jay stopped by only for a couple minutes to pick up soup from Hailey's place as she was getting ready to go to her parents' house. Apparently Angie hadn't had enough of Aunt Hailey, and Hailey wanted to play with her other nieces as she no longer wore sling, so she jumped at the chance to meet them at her parents' house. Jay went to Will's place after getting some supplies. According to Natalie's text, Will's migraine had taken turn for the worse, he was unable to keep anything down even though he only had mild sensitivity to light and sound.

Natalie had left the key in the post box, so Jay picked up the key and slipped inside the apartment. The light was dimmed for obvious reason. Jay tip-toed to Will's room, recognising Will's sleeping form underneath the pile of blanket on the bed. He sat on the chair beside the bed, obviously left there by Natalie. There's also a lined trashcan on the floor and a glass of water on the bedside table. He felt Will's forehead, which was a bit warm.

"Jay," Will greeted him weakly. "You're okay? With the bombing?" he grabbed Jay's hand.

"Yeah, I'm okay. How are you feeling?"

"Like death warmed over me," Will moaned in misery. Jay grabbed a wet towel from the bathroom and put it on Will's forehead. "Really? You did okay yesterday?" Will looked at him, wincing when the light from the bathroom hit his eyes. Jay rushed to the bathroom to turn it off.

"Not really. I had panic attack," Jay avoided his eyes. "I'm tired, Will. The therapy sessions did nothing so far," his defence fell apart. He remembered what Hailey said about opening up to Will.

"Sorry to hear that," Will pulled him close, rubbing his shoulder. "It's a work in progress, be patient."

"I know," Jay sighed. It's comforting to hear the same thing from Will.

"Thanks for keeping Owen safe," said Will.

"I didn't do anything. It was Hailey, she was with them."

"How's she doing? Nat said she got hurt?"

"Yeah, she hit her head. Nothing too serious, no stitches, but there was a lot of blood," said Jay.

"How was babysitting, then?"

"Owen and Angie kept my panic attack away. It was inevitable, but by having them with me in the precinct, I even fell asleep unknowingly, woke up peacefully," Jay smiled triumphantly. Upon Will's perplexed look, he continued, "I got panic attack later after we left the district."

"Hailey was with you?" Will hoped for a yes. The attack itself is bad, moreover Jay going through it by himself. Jay nodded. "It's good. I don't want you to be alone."

"I don't want her seeing me like that," Jay's voice was full of sorrow. "I'm not a needy partner; I don't want to rely on her."

"Cut that thought," Will suddenly stood and ran to the bathroom. He closed the door before Jay got the time to react. He heard Will retched. Sighing, he went to the bathroom. Will was on his knees, bringing up what was likely to be either his breakfast or dinner, or even yesterday's lunch or the previous night's dinner, eaten during his night shift. Jay cringed. He sat on the bathtub and started to rub Will's back, feeling Will's muscles clench with each retch. When the retches turned into dry heaves, Jay grabbed a towel and wet it. He gave it to Will to wipe his face.

"Are you done?" asked Jay. He felt Will shivered. He flushed the toilet. Will leaned on his leg.

"Don't move me," warned Will, holding his head.

"You wanna stay here until you're settled?" asked Jay. Upon the slightest nod, he pushed the tip of a glass to Will's lips. After he was certain Will won't move, he slid down to sit beside Will, and pulled Will to lean on his shoulder. Will swiftly changed his position so his face was buried in Jay's lap. Jay put the wet towel on the back of Will's neck and started rubbing his back and massaging his head alternately. They stayed on that position in the dark bathroom for some time until Will stirred.

"The nausea is gone for now. Thanks Jay," whispered Will hoarsely. Jay stood up and pulled Will standing, guiding him back to the bed. He massaged Will's head and dabbed wet towel on his forehead. In high school, Will often got migraine, especially since he was under pressure to earn good marks to enter med school. Jay found himself doing this often, sometimes throughout the night. He sometimes wondered whether Will got migraine in med school and whether he got any help, but he was in the Army and they weren't the best at keeping in touch.

Will finally felt like his head wasn't going to explode. He couldn't sleep during a migraine, but he was very tired. Jay realised that Will was no longer in pain.

"Try to sleep," whispered Jay. Will took the towel off his face and turned his body, snuggling to a pillow. Jay ran his hand on Will's back, soothing him, hoping Will could catch some sleep.


Jay woke up to a weight on his head. He felt around and touched something warm. Apparently he fell asleep with his head on Will's bed. He stirred and looked at Will, who had his eyes closed, but must have sensed his movement.

"You're not needy, Jay. I'm sure Hailey doesn't think so," Will stated calmly. "You think so low of yourself," chastised Will. Jay wasn't ready to respond, so he let Will pet his head. Both drifted to sleep shortly after, both of them was comforted by Will's action.


"What I mean, Jay, is that Hailey doesn't mind being there for you through panic attacks, nightmares. She won't think you're being needy. She's a friend, a very good one, isn't she?" said Will the next time both of them was awake.

"The best," Jay agreed.

"I'm just gonna say this once, okay. I know you both are past being just partners, you are friends. But don't lead her on, however you feel about her. I'm saying this not only as your brother, but moreover, as her friend. She's a good person, don't hurt her."

Jay gaped at the way Will said it so casually. Did his brother just act more like Hailey's brother than his? Is that how fond of Hailey he was?

"I won't. You have my word," said Jay. "I'm not into dating right now, Will. You know that. She knows that. She's a friend, a very good one. She has seen the worst of me, the demons and all. But romantically, nah. She deserves a whole man, not a broken one like me."

"If you say so. Just know that, for me, for her, you're not undeserving of what's less than the best," said Will, too tired to smack Jay in the head and beat some sense into him.

"Thanks," said Jay. He looked at the time. It was past noon. "You wanna try eating? Hailey made you some soup."

"You crashed at her place again?" Will's tone—although weak—was judging.

"I had a panic attack, Will. And some alcohol. I crashed on the couch. It's not like we're sleeping together."

"I know," said Will. "Sorry, just… I don't want you and her to get hurt. After Erin, you… yeah. And, again, don't hurt her."

"We won't. She's different. I'm different now," Jay convinced Will. "So, lunch?"

"I don't really want to, but as a doctor I know I have to," Will reasoned. Jay smirked and went to the kitchen to heat the soup. When he came back with a bowl of soup, Will was not on the bed. He sighed and went to the closed bathroom door, the soup forgotten on the bedside table.

"You okay in there?"

Silence. "No," a weak voice was heard from behind the door. Will's voice was hoarse, a clear sign that he had been sick.

"I'm coming in," announced Jay, opening the door slightly to assess the situation. The bathroom was dark, the only source of light was the door. Will was curled up horizontally on the floor. Jay went back to the bed to grab a blanket, knowing that they were likely to spend some time on the bathroom floor. He flushed the toilet, grabbed a wet towel, and wiped Will's face.

"Are you gonna be sick again?" asked Jay, rubbing Will's back. Will didn't answer, only held his head and scrunched up his face. Jay threw the blanket over him and slide below him, resting Will's head on his lap, feeling Will crying from the pain. He started massaging Will's head and neck until he was relaxed. He'd do anything to take the pain off his brother.

"Hey, Will, are you asleep?" Jay poked Will's shoulder after a while Will's cry died down. Will opened his eyes, pain was clear on his face. He lurched for the toilet and dry heaved. He was past the point of actually bringing anything up. Jay held his body so he wouldn't topple over.

"You are going to lie down on your bed, and have something to drink. You're dehydrated," said Jay once the heaving subsided. Will didn't bother to resist when Jay pulled him up and slung his arm over Jay's shoulder, effectively half-carrying him.

"Get ice cubes," ordered Will weakly once he was tucked in the bed. Jay went to the kitchen and grabbed two pieces of ice cubes. He slipped one to Will's mouth, watching as Will sipped it until it's gone. As he slipped the second ice cube, he massaged Will's head.

"On 1-10 scale, how is the pain?" asked Jay.

"Eight," said Will.

"I'm not a doctor, but I'm gonna say you're dehydrated," said Jay. He went to the kitchen to get more ice cubes. He continued to feed Will ice cubes and massaged his head. Will was in-and-out of sleep, he didn't have a good sleep last night. After a while, he grabbed Jay's hand.

"The nausea is mostly gone, I think I can manage a tiny bit of food," said Will. Jay helped him up, stuffing pillows behind Will's back to keep him upright.

"Do you want the soup hot or is this okay?" Jay put the bowl on Will's hand.

"It's okay," Will started eating tentatively. His lunch and dinner yesterday went back up his system, and he didn't even bother having breakfast since he couldn't keep anything down. "Tell Hailey thanks. It's good. No wonder you crashed there all the time."

"Drop it, Will, okay?" Jay slapped Will's leg.

"Out of curiousity, you got nightmare last night?" asked Will.

"No… no, I didn't. That's why I called you after therapy. I need someone to talk to me until I'm asleep," said Jay. He knew Will's next question, so he added, "Hailey sat beside me until I was asleep, that way I didn't get nightmare."

"Be careful, Jay. Really. I'm glad you had help, but you're playing into dangerous territory here," warned Will.

"It's different, Will. It was different than my relationship with Erin. We started with affection, we flirted a lot, and it blossomed from there. Me and Hailey, we're friends. That's it. Even if someday we become more than friends, which I don't intend to pursue at the moment, we would be at different place. For now, drop it, I'm serious. I don't want anything to change," Jay's tone shut Will up.

"Okay."


"How's your head?" asked Jay when Will exited his room. Jay was having lunch while watching TV. Will was noticeably better, so he left him on his own and had the leftover soup from Hailey. She made enough for four portions, so Jay spared some for Will's dinner.

"Been better, but this is the first time I've been this vertical since yesterday," said Will, hobbled to the couch. Jay grabbed his hand and helped him.

"Don't push yourself too much," Jay dimmed the light in the living area and turned off the TV.

"I'm mostly tired since I didn't sleep well and my head hurt. Not to mention, malnourished," Will laid on the couch.

"Still nauseous?" asked Jay.

"No." Will looked nervous, like he wanted to say something, but held back. Jay thought that Will wanted to nag him about Hailey again, so he ignored Will.

"Nat and I talked—more like argued—about the wedding, we'll have it in December," Will started a conversation.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be my best man, right?" asked Will. Now he had Jay's attention.

"Me?"

"Who else would I want to be my best man, Jay?" Will clapped him on the shoulder, looking nervous. "So, what do you think?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Jay's smile spread on his face. "I was about to be jealous of Rhodes," he joked.

"Yeah, right," Will rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"With how I treated you these past weeks, I'm not sure," said Jay. He looked down. "I shut you down."

"It doesn't matter. The point is I don't shut you down," said Will. Jay looked at him. "I understand why you shut me down. I know there's no turning back time, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there when you struggled. I will always be there, for everything," Will looked down, his eyes showed remorse, guilt, and other emotions Jay only saw briefly before. Hailey's words dawned on him. For the first time ever, his resentment evaporated, replaced with guilt for causing pain for Will. He didn't realise that years after they patched up their relationship, he still held some resentment towards Will.

"I'm sorry Will, I know I should look past that and move forward like we talked about. I trust you, really. You're my only family left. That wasn't why I shut you down. I didn't want to cause you anymore trouble. You took charge of everything, the last thing I wanted was to burden you with my shit." The stitches on the cushions suddenly looked very interesting for Jay. "I don't want you to pity me. You have everything I wanted; you were on good term with dad, you're gonna get married with mum's ring. None of those I have, how can you understand me?" whispered Jay before he could stop himself. Will gaped.

"I would never," spat Will. He stood up, stumbled when he tried to remain standing. Jay helped him up, but Will flinched upon contact. "I didn't realise you were… jealous?" He walked back and forth across the apartment. Jay couldn't believe that he voiced his jealousy to Will. They both stood across each other, gaping awkwardly.

"I'm going on a walk," announced Will.

"No, you're sick. I'll go," offered Jay. "Please, call me when you think we should talk," he pleaded, his voice wavered. He bit his lip when closing the door, stopping himself from crying. One minute he was his brother's best man, the next minute they weren't talking again.


Is that too much angst in one chapter? Don't worry, it will be resolved soon! This story turns out longer then I expected. I expected to write 4-5 chapters, but got carried away... I hope you don't mind! Also, according to 6x06 Hailey's father used to beat the family. I'm gonna go with 4x21 version in which she said she was so worried when he got robbed. That line (from Hailey to Trudy) sold Hailey Upton to me, it was so genuine that in my mind, the Uptons are tight and Hailey are close with her family.

PS: Noticed some writers wrote about Upstead for the first time :) we need all hands on deck to survive hiatus.