IV

Ando disliked fog.

It was simple, he disliked being unfairly handicapped in all his exquisite senses that this rotten life had gifted him. It was also paramount that he kept his stock in plain view at all times. And his stock being live humans made that a hassle on mornings like this one. Granted, the same fog that bothered him was a boon in how it hid his wares from moralizing rescues and code-bound samurai, equally troublesome. Good thing he had found little storepots just inside the edges of the Midorito forest. Barring any curious, dumb beasts wandering into the area, this particular run was as good as done.

His people deserved their praises, he'll give them that. In the past week, they'd scouted twelve potential stock acquisitions and snagged five, three from Tataraba specifically, some real quality options. He smiled.

All things considered, the operation was smooth as could be. No hiccups. No law ruled on the roads they travelled. But when it came down to it, he liked the element of danger, keeping his blood elevated and running hot.

Ando got up and exited the front-most wagon, stretching his spindly arms and legs to work out the kinks. He grinned into the misty air. They had made another circuit around the forest. Bringing them back around to the gated community of Lady Eboshi.

How bold was he feeling this morning? Ando chuckled, cracking his knuckles as he stretched out the sinews against the cloud-choked sun.


Eboshi dismissed Gonza from the chamber after sealing the signatory scroll. One more supplier sated, one less shortage behind the walls. The Aki Ra traders were generous with New Tataraba, even in the resource-tight aftermath of the Shishigami's wrath. Eboshi would be sure to sweeten their deal at the last moment once they had met halfway. She had written off the old man who ran that company as a shallow lecher, prone to bluster when challenged and a handful when inebriated. She'd had to personally obstruct Gonza from breaking the man's hands when he had lewdly manhandled her hand at the conclusion of a shōchū-fueled initial negotiation and subsequent celebration. But in the past months, the old man proved beyond patient and near-compassionate in addition to being spirited in his considerate provisions. Eboshi had no words for the man, but her gratitude was beyond those anyway.

She allowed herself a sip from the no-longer steaming cup of tea Toki had left. Eyeing her pipe next to the inlaid globe at the table, she paused. Recently, Eboshi had moved from simple folk remedy herbs in her pipe stock to a burgeoning market curiosity, that the traders called ahen ( 阿片/ opium). She had tried it only once and disliked how it had dulled her mind in every possible way, not just her thinking but even her fine motor handling. She was tempted to discard her entire purchase, but her frugality overcame her instinct at the time. The day Ashitaka had returned from his weekend away though, Eboshi found herself sorely tempted by the powder, an allowance of disconnect from the daily thorns of her world.

So for the third day in a row, she was medicating. Encouraging her mind to drift elsewhere, away from her present. Waiting out the tide of embarrassing shame that sat in her peripheral vision like a proud eagle. But she truly hated how it made her feel at the same time, she was not near as sharp or mindful when she was this way. Her dealings with the external support of New Tataraba would suffer harshly if she let any outsiders in at this time. This clash of want and distaste pooled into her stomach, bloating her gut with an ulcer on top of all things.

Eboshi reflected on that night. The night that started out with a pleasant enough meal, genial conversation, a charming walk, and then there was the porch. His stone entryway, curtained, not terribly inviting. Yet she had taken one too many sips of sake that evening, or at least she wanted to say so. She blazed forward, sight set on the young man who was no doubt satisfied with his dwelling, his days, his evenings, his food, and a woman he could call his own.

She felt she had to pay him back. She owed him. He had been struck broadside by the community denizens over and over, popping back up like a bamboo shoot each time. He had been shot and returned to their aid mere days later. He was infuriating, a puzzle that challenged Eboshi then as now. His kindness a stated thesis of proof to how humanity and nature could harmonize in enthusiasm. Not to mention his youthful physique had stuck in her mind's eye at moments when she was alone. A moment in the baths, a glancing touch, a hitch in the breath. She had recovered without submitting but those images did not disappear. Toiling to distract herself, she had thrown herself into rebuilding without restraint.

If only he hadn't insisted on being the last on the housing priority.

If only he had looked at her with revulsion.

If only he had looked at her with her rifle arm chewed off at the shoulder with the grim smile she deserved.

If only she could stand to be alone next to him and not put him ill at ease.

If only the wolf princess had sworn off all of humanity after they so direly failed to heed the gods of the forest.

If only that wolf princess had killed her in the forest like she had coming.

If only Ashitaka's thrown knife had missed the stock of her musket and sank into her throat, wiping her out of the dreadful game.

Eboshi snapped her eyes open at this run of thought, exhaling the chalky smoke of her distance. She dipped her finger into her teacup, lukewarm. Her lip twitched around her brass pipe.

As completely as she was taken with his spirit and his presence, there was no clear route forward. Granted, he and the wolf princess, San, were not even customarily engaged. Which begged her conscience to question whether or not what she sought was even selfish or wrong.

She thought of the five men and women who were missing. Slavers had not yet breached these wilds when Eboshi, Gonza, and her pioneers had nailed down the timber walls the first time just beyond the reach of the gods, the soldiers, and the emperor. The bandits had no acumen for foresight, all simple deserters with an occasional leader who could rile them into action. Gonza had no trouble with them, usually wiping out said infantile warlord without overdoing it, either recruiting the impressed criminals or sending them off to the north, away from the walls and forge.

Eboshi thought back to a boat landing at Kyushu a decade ago. She had just liberated the Flying Witch from the wakou (倭寇) at large and disposed of her simple stooge of a husband on the way. Immediately upon descending the ramp, there was a scream from a platform across the dock. Eboshi had sailed for more than enough years to know that sound and all it signified. A woman enslaved, preparing for her new hell on the water, a vessel for containing the men on the top decks. A newly baptized whore. There were two different established "routes" of slavers on the mainland at the time, and Eboshi had no stomach for their wares or their business. She let them know as much when they wanted to sought to proffer one of several potential deals with her shortly into her landing. But there was no bad blood set, a simple parting of ways, acknowledging the other as unwanted in their selective biomes.

This new development scrapped that armistice. Regardless of the doubtless change in management, Eboshi would not suffer any excuse to abduct her people, her dyed in the wool clan. As soon as the Aki Ra development was underway, she was going to hunt down and return those five back to the gates, walking upright, or come the worst, in coffins to lie where they were meant to be. Those who had taken them would have never existed, sunk into ground under the deficit of blasted iron and swift, sharp steel.

At this, Gonza reentered. "My Lady."

Eboshi blinked. "What news, Gonza?"

Gonza frowned, not that he ever truly smiled. But his face was set deeper as he approached.

"My Lady. Ando is here, again."

Eboshi sucked her teeth as her ulcer flickered in her belly. She disliked this Ando individual. This was his third time popping up in a month, and he always brought the same slimy trail with him that the wretched monk Jigo had when she still bothered with his holier-than-thou horse manure. She lifted her now cold tea to her lips, nodding to Gonza.

Seconds later, the lean form of Ando sloughed onto the floor beside her side table, a placid smile resting atop his lips. Eboshi fought the urge to take another pull on her pipe.

"Lady Eboshi. Your charms know no limit, even on a dreary morn like this one."

He was dressed in a dark blue cloak today. Stubble marking his crass face, he smelt of smoke and mud. Being roadbound as he so claimed, this was no surprise.

Eboshi coughed into her hand. She creased her brow. "What brings you here, Ando? I don't recall you having an appointment today of all days."

Ando bent forward, his greasy hair wilding out at the ends. "Well, I heard you've been having a spot of trouble with those rotten bellied slavers."

Eboshi said nothing. Her glare remained circumspect.

"Shame that. You were just getting to the good part of the rebuild. I'm always willing to offer my services to aid the downtrodden and the wanting."

Eboshi narrowed her gaze at him. "And you wouldn't have anything to share regarding these rotten bellies you refer to?"

Ando startled backward, his movement overwrought with faux passion. "Me? My lady, you wound me."

"No, but Gonza will unless you produce a point to this visit."

The corner of Ando's mouth gave way to a smirk. He raised his arms in a pacifying manner. "Now wait just a moment, I came here to say that I have the opportunity to get some information about your missing people, but in order to do so, I have to pay an informant of mine. Good information is hard to come by in rogues. I'm offering to act as connection of sorts."

Eboshi frowned openly, suppressing a pair of coughs.

"For a man of uncanny cunning, I find myself taken aback at how callous you are as you dance between platitudes and extortion today."

"Call it what you want, I'm a professional. If you're talented enough, you better be getting paid for it, else you're a fool. That goes for leadership and bodyguards as well as informants."

Eboshi chose to focus on the empty teacup in front of her. Internally, she raged at his audacity, the unction that totally overwhelmed any whit of honesty he could muster.

Ando shrugged. "I just wanted to let you know, best I can guess, of the four you've misplaced, I doubt more than two are still retrievable given how these people tend to operate."

"Five."

Ando frowned.

"You lost another?"

Eboshi nodded gravely, eyes closed.

"Tsk. Shame that. Well, I'll be in the area until evening falls. My services can't expect jobs to rise from the ground like mist."

He rose from sitting, but not before stealing a dumpling from the box Toki had dropped off.

"Sometimes one just can't help but cut their losses, am I right?"

Still with that smug look, he tossed his plunder in the air, catching it between his teeth. Gonza glowered floorside. Ando left the way he came.

Sure that he was gone, Eboshi motioned for Gonza to approach.

"You said you remember him from your days in the galleys? Was he as monstrous back then?"

Gonza winced.

"I doubt he remembers me. I was but another body on a bench. He was opportunistic even back then. He was lucky to have gotten drunk enough to be forgotten on that mortal last voyage. I doubt he would've survived your encounter."

As he elaborated, Eboshi had risen and poured another cup of tea, offering it to Gonza.

"Who do you have tailing him?"

"Jiji, my Lady."

Eboshi nodded in thanks, dismissing Gonza when he finished his tea. When he was gone, she finally reached over and gave her pipe some affection. She exhaled bitterness. Her mind was stuttering now. Her body felt numb, she couldn't feel anything distinct below her neck. All the better.


Toki was quick to pick San's brain after handling her man in front of her, to San's unexpected delight. Toki saw an opportunity and she had passed over too many in this life already to turn down an honest to god dream boat like Ashitaka.

"Alright. So you are fine with me kissing him?"

"Yeah," San nodded along.

"You're also fine with me touching him?"

San kept nodding, a childish grin accentuating alongside.

"What if I had him take his clothes off? For me to appreciate him in all his glory?" Toki tried to keep herself calm, but she couldn't deny the oddly obliging situation was, dare she admit, exciting her.

San shrugged. "Works for me. I've seen him and I'm more than willing to share with you."

"San," Ashitaka finally exclaimed. He was blushing so thoroughly, he could have been burning up.

"What's wrong, boy prince? See, her, I can understand. She feeds you. Why so selfish now?"

Ashitaka buried his face in his hands. "San, it's not that I'm selfish. It's just…"

"Ashitaka," Toki interrupted, "I'm not planning to spirit you away from San. I'm merely wanting to give you a taste."

Ashitaka swallowed audibly. To him, it no doubt felt like he had lost his mind. Toki had kissed him. It had made him…react positively. San was giving him away on a platter.

"That said, I'm going to establish some ground rules of my own. Firstly, if this goes forward, it will be apparent and known by San and Kōroku. That's not negotiable. Similarly, I've had enough kids for this life, so that's the line that I'm drawing right now. Also, I will only go forward with this if Ashitaka is willing, it's no fun being forced upon. Sorry for springing it on you, 'boy prince'." Toki made a note to ask Ashitaka to expand on that pet name later on. "But the look on your face was priceless."

San laughed along with Toki's giggles, delighted. "Bahahaha. So this is what you were worried about? You just wanted to roam the pasture a bit? To Ki is such a catch compared to that witch in charge here."

Instantly, ice flooded Toki's stomach. Eboshi's recent gloom of depression came roaring back to her after riding high on the brief excitement of the last few minutes. Toki bit herself. She was so stupid, taking advantage of Ashitaka all on her own when her heroine was living in hell just around the corner. The mere opportunity of having Ashitaka give her some proverbial sugar and she had betrayed Lady Eboshi without hesitation. She turned away from the house guests.

"Oh god, what have I done," Toki choked, hoping she was out of earshot.

She was not.

Toki felt a hand at her back. Calloused and firm, but caressing.

"To Ki?"

San's voice was so empathetic and full of concern. Was she even capable of such for humanity after all she'd been put through? Toki didn't deserve such care. She cast aside her worries for her Lady without a second thought. She was a base creature, lower than an eel hiding in its mudhole. She pulled away, crawling on all fours into the corner by the soup pot. She was suddenly so cold, yet sweating as if in the desert.

"I'm disgusting. I can't believe I took advantage after…oh god." Tears crowded her vision. The entire room was cloudy and smeared. That bile sensation was rising, storming the upper walls of her stomach. She seized, her body tightened as a braided cord. She stopped breathing. If she breathed, she was going to vomit. She moved to twist her knuckles, but they were already cracked. Impatiently, she made to twist her little finger, gasping when it snapped in strain under her grip. It wasn't enough, though. She deserved far worse than a strained digit.

Her whole body was at war within. It wished to move and yet stay put. Her head suddenly ached with self-hatred. Her eyes rolled upwards. She could feel everything and she felt her senses shutting down. In their exit, she felt little flashes of tension. Her breasts ached; she hadn't yet fed Seita. Her legs were numb from the sitting. Her core…made her feel like a traitor.

A damned, dumb whore. Never anything more.

She lashed out, striking the wall of clay blocks. She did it again, breaking the skin. Her strained fingers bled. The pain flashed but the total experience was novel in how her body's instinct was to cushion her mind, dulling the feelings. Toki raged, as if she would breathe flame.

If her hands wouldn't do the trick, then her head would have to do. She craned her neck back, and let loose.

Her vision stuttered at the impact. Sweet suffering. A frantic smile came to her, as her eyes crossed at impact. She fought the impulse to snicker at the whole matter. Her head lifted again, and dropped with gravity towards the wall.

She never made contact.

A pair of arms wrapped around her head. Ashitaka. She was enveloped by him, in all his careful strength. She felt, smelled, was overtaken by him. It should have been calming. It should make her feel happy and safe.

She screeched as a cornered bird of prey would, "Get off. Let go. I need to…I have to…"

Three things happened at once.

Ashitaka took a glancing fingernail scrape across his brow. He did not cry out as he bled above her.

San knocked over the bench she sat on as she crawled to the entryway where,

"Mommy?"

Setsuko.

Toki's internal balance completely collapsed. She couldn't find the words. She violently fought against his embrace. Her lungs contracted, her rationed breath spent. Her stomach wrenched free and she felt she was going to burst. She audibly retched.

"San, the basket. Quick!"

Setsuko whimpered from the portal. San was there with it in an instant. Ashitaka was turning Toki away from the wall and leaning her over the basket. "You're fine. You're safe. Just let it go, Toki."

Toki wanted to glare at him. How dare he?

But even more distressing was her stomach choosing to resist. She heaved. Nothing. She pressed on her stomach and tried again. All that landed in the basket was snot, saliva, and tears.

Toki sobbed as only a poor wretch could. Her senses were returning and the pain in her head was complimenting her impotent nausea with such potent venom. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw San exit, leaving Ashitaka alone in the bedroom. She was inconsolable. She shook.

Ashitaka calmly shushed her and rubbed her back and chest. "You're safe, Toki. Please calm down. You scared us. San is taking care of Setsuko and Seita."

Seita. That's right. Her swollen chest ached, a momentary reminder. She glanced at the hearth, the cooking pot. Dinner was cooking. She was momentarily free thanks to Ashitaka's help, in more ways than one. She sniffled, reaching up to wipe her nose at least. He catches her hand on the way up north.

"Are you better, Toki? You're not going to hurt yourself anymore?" His tone was anxious, on edge. She had gotten past the barriers of the heroic, by now legendary Ashitaka. She was embarrassed, humiliated even, but completely spent at the moment. She waved him off, asking to be let go. He complied, releasing her.

She adjusted herself. Her robe had become disheveled and had opened at one side in her struggle. Her shortened hair, reaching not even halfway down her neck was slick with sweat, as if she was six hours into another night at the bellows of the old town. Her mind refocused. She came back to her senses, and knew what needed to be said. She turned to face him.

"You need to talk to her. She is in such misery. I'm…afraid for her going forward."

Ashitaka's eyes never left her face. His left hand clenched, no doubt his nails cleaving into his palm.

Silence hung in between them and the sizzling cookpot. Eyes fixed, breathing synchronized.

"I need to talk to San, first. She…She doesn't understand what Eboshi means. To me. I need her to, if I'm going to talk to Lady Eboshi."

Toki made a disappointed face, but it was what it was. She knew his loyalties were unwilling to compromise. San did deserve to understand what Eboshi intended, otherwise her trust would be lost, and he would be as well. She rubbed her temples, one last tear making its way down her face. He offered her his kerchief. The one she had gifted him. She allowed herself a tiny grin. Good ol' Ashitaka to the rescue.


San was out playing with little Seita and Setsuko in front of the house. Passers by stared incredulously at the activity. Doubt and apprehension oozing from every pair of eyes in sight. At his exit, Ashitaka waved to San, who immediately tugged the children to the door. Getting them inside was simple enough. But now he had to get her across town to his home, or outside. He weighed the two options, walking beside her. She could protect herself, sure, but he wanted to put himself between her and any heated citizen first, hoping to defuse before a conflict was given the option to rear itself.

A rock landed by his foot. He glanced over to catch some young boys hiding behind a house, no doubt inspired by their parents' vitriol or, heaven forbid, their deaths. He stopped and stared, a warning. The feet scrambled out of range. Satisfied, he continued with San, heading for the gate, and the bridge outside.

Toki was by far the one in town with the most open heart for San. The remaining population, at best, decided to never broach the subject of her existence. At worst, they were downright hostile, usually fueled by several rounds of sake late in the evening, but not everyone needed such beforehand.

As luck would have it, they made it to the bridge without further incident, though San had been distracted by the stand selling steamed gyoza, managing to usher her forward regardless of her drooling. They jogged to the forest's edge, where a couple of stumps sat. He posted her at the taller one, closer to the interior. He sat at the one cleft just below his knees.

They sat quietly. If she had a tail, he wondered if she'd wag it right now. She kept tilting her head in pensive curiosity. He knew what he had to do, but like others before him, he had trouble knowing how to bring it about.

"Why was To Ki hurting herself?"

San's voice was quiet. Not as soft as a whisper, but startling all the same.

Ashitaka frowned inwardly. "If I had to guess, she feels she betrayed Lady Eboshi by acting on her feelings."

"But why? What sort of evil spell does that hag have over her?" Again, she made for the knife handle inside her furs.

"San, it's not a spell, nor is she using magic. It's a side effect of her compassion and…love for Eboshi."

San hugged one knee on top of her stump. "To Ki loves Eboshi?"

He saw the hill in front of him, but he could not hesitate. "Eboshi saved Toki, and the rest of the humans in town, from far crueler humans. Toki was enslaved and forced to sell her body to survive; the men were the same, or mercenaries at the beck and call of cruel warlords who wanted Eboshi's town and resources for themselves. Eboshi is seen as a leader for her compassionate soul to her fellow men and women. It is hard for you to see, you don't live in town and see how far she has brought everyone from the edge of hunger, desperation, and subservience."

San paused. "She's like Moro. That kind of love."

Ashitaka nodded. "Yes, your mother was unfortunate to be the one who happened to lead this forest."

"She killed Moro, Ashitaka. She killed the Shishigami. She tried to kill me, endlessly. Until you came."

Ashitaka looked her in the eyes for the first time since sitting. San wore a hardened stare of her own. She felt much empathy for Toki, for her generosity and joy she so generously shared. But Eboshi was a line in the sand she would not cross. She rubbed the fur at her shoulders, a memento.

"San, I understand. Eboshi is not painted in one shade. She has made mistakes, and she has paid dearly for them. But she has eased her conquest at my … our request. Eboshi's interest is no longer in the forest or riches. She wants peace."

"But that includes you."

He grimaced. He knew this was coming. He was daft for assuming otherwise.

"San, she–"

"No! She wants you for herself. That is her price for peace. Hasn't she had enough? Is her appetite for all I have truly endless?"

San was letting her emotions overtake the conversation, and he knew that he had only moments to regain control.

"San, please. That is not the way it is. Eboshi is not planning any reprisal or furtherance of her forest raids of the past. She does not want to instigate with you. She has fallen for me, that is all."

"That is all?" San barked, fury making itself the focus of her tone. "And when she has you, then what? Am I to be killed slowly by being denied you? Is this the beauty of human love? Boundless pain and losing everything I hold dear to me. Doomed to be alone in a forest with the remaining kodama for companions after my brothers are gone. Or will she send you out to placate me once every season, so I don't lose myself to a demon over time?"

Ashitaka slowly stood from his seat. "San."

"Shut up, human." San growled. "Your language with all its hidden paths will not conquer my beast mind." San's eyes filled with furious tears.

She drew her knife as she topped her stump. Held at his eyes. She was breathing heavily and fast. In truth, she could barely even see him through the tears. The blood roared in her head. She meant him no harm, but she could not stand to touch him now, maybe ever, knowing what she did. If she was doomed to not have him, she may as well cut and run.

"Mount her, conquer her, do what you wilt. But she can't love you. I forbid it." She could do nothing at all to prevent her last statement from emerging as anything but a raw shriek against the uncaring.

She backed away into the treeline. After ten paces, she turned, beginning to run. Shortly into the collage of birch and oak, she was met by her elder brother, Shiro. San leapt onto her brother's back, grasping his neck of fur. She did not look back as Ashitaka made his way to the gates, eyes never leaving the level of the dirt beneath his feet.