Part 14
~Well Shit...~
I'm not a drinker.
Honestly, I saw what alcohol did to my mother. It turned her into a monster. I got a lot of bruises from her drunken states, and her high states. I didn't plan on getting drunk. I really didn't, but I didn't know my limits.
Just one beer had me dizzy.
When I was on my third… Corona, I was drunk. I laughed loudly. Half of the things I laughed at were not funny at all.
I got asked to dance by a lot of guys, but Phik quickly stepped in and said I was taken. If I wasn't drunk, I probably would've corrected him, but I wasn't sober, so I didn't say much.
"You should take her home," I heard Morrison say to Phil.
I did notice he didn't touch another single beer since I got there. He also didn't even pay much attention to the big boob next to him either.
"She's fine," Brian told him. "Let her have fun."
"But--"
"Morrison, why don't you two go dance?" he said to Morrison and his 'date'.
Morrison glared at Phil, but without a word he took the girl's hand and led her to the small dance floor where some of the couples were grinding on each other. It hurt to see him place his hand around her waist. It really did hurt.
I took the last swing of the beer and burped.
I giggled. "Sorry."
"Not a problem. Now, Ava, tell me the truth, do you really have a boyfriend?" he asked as he leaned forward to look me in the eyes.
"You don't believe I can have a boyfriend?" I questioned and slurred a bit.
He chuckled. "No, I know you can have a boyfriend, I'm asking if you do."
I wasn't drunk enough to tell the truth.
"Yes, I do, Phil. He is coming to the wedding!"
"I thought he was in Italy," he raised an eyebrow.
"He's coming for me," I smiled drunkly. "You see… he loves me."
"I can't wait to meet him," he smirked.
"Oh…" I hiccupped. "You're going to love him."
He laughed and then his eyes flickered to my empty beer bottle. "Let me get you another."
He got up from the table and walked away. There was a lot of people, but they made way for him. It was so interesting. Everyone knew him. No wonder no one was saying a word about me, a nineteen year old, drinking.
He got two beers and came back.
I was half way done with that one when his phone went off. He frowned at the screen and excused himself. He walked out of the bar because Dragula by Rob Zombie was on, so there was too much noise.
I was drunk enough to bang my head to the beat and slur the lyrics of the song. I was pretty much into it, but I was rudely interrupted by an arm that dragged me out of the chair and towards a small corridor that lead to the bathrooms.
Morrison pinned me to the wall.
I glared at him. It took a lot to glare because all I wanted to do was kiss him. I wanted to kiss him hard.
"Why did you come?" he asked.
"Why do you care? You seemed to have moved on easily!" I spat at him.
"This… it's…" he seemed frustrated, but now with me it was against himself, but it was quickly replaced by anger. "You're drunk! And you're underage!"
I tried to push him away, but he was strong. Damn him!
"Why do you give a shit?! You broke up with me, remember? We weren't even together for a whole week."
"Don't you understand that I can't offer you shit!" he growled with real frustration in his eyes.
"I don't want anything, Morrison. I wanted you," I said truthfully. "I never asked for anything."
He released me. "You have no idea what I do, Ava. If you knew, you'd run away from me." His tone dark.
I scoffed.
"You know what you are, Morrison," I managed to say normally. "You're a fucking coward. You think you know everything, but you don't know shit! If you knew anything, you would know that there isn't much that scares me!"
"Dealing drugs is just the tip of the ice berg… you…" he stopped himself. "I don't have to explain myself to you. It wouldn't have worked anyways because you would've left back to Chicago right after the wedding."
"Don't make assumptions," I poked his chest. "You don't know squat! I could've stayed! We would have the entire summer together, but noooo, you had to be a prick. Now, if you'll excuse me, my drink is getting warm."
I walked past him and safely made it back to the table. Phil came back shortly.
He got me my… what number was it… fourth… or fifth drink? I lost count. All I knew was that I was becoming more and more loud. I was becoming more brave. I started to… not caress, but touch Phil on his shoulder from time to time. I did it as support because I felt like I was going to fall over any second.
"We're going to leave now," Morrison announced as he took the girl's hand. "See you later."
"Tap that, Morrison!" Brian called out and laughed.
Morrison smirked and winked.
I glared at their direction. I looked down and fought the tears. I counted to ten calmly. I really didn't want to cry in front of Phil. Because if I did, then I would have to explain why I was crying, and I didn't want to say a single word.
"Now, Ava, do you have a boyfriend?" Phil asked after my… sixth corona and by then my lie thing was gone.
"Nope!"
He smirked. If I wasn't drunk, I would've found it really… disturbing.
"Why did you lie?" he asked as he got closer.
"Because you give me the creeps and your… cologne… brings back… a very horrible memory," I admitted.
"I give you the creeps?" he asked as he got even more close. I could smell the alcohol, but it could've been my own.
I nodded to answer his question.
He ran his hand through my loose hair, and he looked deep in thought. There was a crease on his forehead. I wasn't even paying attention how he was touching my hair.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.
"About you. I'm always thinking about you, Ava."
I gulped at the sincerity in his tone.
"Why?"
He leaned in so close I thought he was going to kiss me, but he only grabbed the vest from the chair.
"You're drunk, I'm taking you home now," he said as he stood up. He grabbed my arm gently and lifted me up. He placed my arm around his shoulder. I tried to lean my head against his shoulder, but his cologne was so strong.
"Can't you wear something else? That cologne is so… disturbing," I whined like a little girl.
He chuckled. "I like my cologne."
"Well, I don't."
The cold air of Kenwood High hit me, but it didn't sober me one bit. We walked to the SUV. Phil's hand on my waist to keep me up was firm. When we got to the SUV, he pinned me to the car with his body. He didn't crush me, he only kept me up.
I rested my head back on the window. The world was moving, but I wasn't moving a single inch. I felt a cloud inside of my head that numbed from certain things. It felt good though. It felt really good not to be on guard all of the time.
It felt really good to just let go.
I jumped a bit when I felt Phil's lips on my collarbone.
The alcohol blocked the voice that would scream how wrong it was, instead there was a voice that told me his lips felt good and familiar. I felt them somewhere before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't bother to crack my brain to figure out where I felt them before. I was too drunk.
He continued to kiss my neck very slowly. My head fell to the side, and he pushed my long hair to the side. His breathing labored like he was holding back. He pressed himself against me. I let out a sound that was actually from pain, but it sounded a lot like a moan. That seemed to eager him.
His lips went from my neck to my shoulder. He pulled aside the strap and left a lot of small kisses. His tongue touched my skin and I felt… aroused? It was the alcohol, right? It can do that to you. Impair your judgment, right?
It made my mom think it was okay to hit me, so it made me think it was okay for Phil to kiss me like that. He stopped kissing and brushed his nose along my skin until he reached my ear.
"I missed your taste… so innocent… so pure."
That should've raised so many red flags, yet it didn't. Again he ran his nose against my skin, this time along my jaw line. His lips centimeters from my own. A hand went under my tunic. My breathing hitched.
Our eyes locked. His hand caressed my rib cage.
"If I continue, I won't be able to stop myself," he said it so low I barely understood it. "And it's too soon. Too soon, baby doll."
He opened the door of the SUV, but… that voice… the way he said it. When Morrison said it, it had bothered me, but when Phil said it. It was like I had been hit with a ton of bricks.
"Ava," he said as he placed back my strap on my shoulder, "get inside, it's cold."
I, zombie-like, did as he said. I got inside of the SUV. Phil got inside of the driver's side.
My stomach churned. "I don't feel so good."
"There's a bag under the seat, use it," he said.
I took out the bag and opened it.
I threw the contents of my throw up inside of it.
"Well, shit," I cursed. "I feel like shit," soon after I finished that sentence I threw up again.
Sleep became my ultimate goal, but the feeling of throwing up kept rising up.
Phil drove in a steady speed.
I don't know how long it took to arrive atour my house. All I knew was that the door opened and Phil helped me inside of the house. He took the throw up bag from me and took me to the bathroom. I used the toilet as my lifesaver.
I felt his hand rub my back at some point.
"Is it all out?" he asked.
I nodded my head lazily.
"Here," he offered me something. It was a piece of gum.
I chuckled and took the piece of gum and chewed on it. He picked me up and took me to my bedroom. He didn't undress me or anything, thank God. He just placed me on the bed and left me.
Good thing I wouldn't remember most of the night.
