A Writer of Our Own chapter 3
The following Wednesday night, Angela ate an early dinner that Tony prepared. She kissed the kids goodbye and let Tony know she'd be home by ten. She drove to the writing group and found a parking spot close by. She grabbed her purse and journal as she stepped out of the car. She was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face waiting by the entrance.
"Wendy? What are you doing here?" she asked as she walked over to Wendy.
"Well I just had to find out what happens with Tom and Amanda… and I kinda don't trust that Heather chick. Not for nothing, you don't have the greatest track record with Heathers…" she said as she linked arms with Angela.
"Wendy! She's fine! And if she wants Michael Bower… she can have him!" she laughed as they headed inside. They found two seats in the middle of the group and sat down.
"Welcome back everyone! I hope you were able to write since last time! I know I'm excited to share what I wrote!" said Heather.
"Oh I hope Angela updated her story! I couldn't stop thinking about it all last week!" gushed Pamela.
"I know! It's so good! It's definitely one of the best stories I've heard in a long time!" said Rachel.
"Well… since everyone seems to want to know about Angela's story… how about you go first?" said Heather through gritted teeth. If looks could kill, Angela would have been six feet under; Angela, however, was oblivious, pulling out her journal and missing the whole interaction.
"Okay! I was inspired this week in my… personal life… here goes nothing!" said Angela. Wendy had to stifle a laugh as Angela began to read her newest work. By the time she was finished, all the women, minus Heather, were on the edge of their seats.
"Oh Angela! That was wonderful! The sexual tension between Amanda and Tom! That scene in her office with that neck rub! How did nothing happen between them?" asked another woman.
"Yeah… how does nothing happen between the two of them?" asked Wendy with a smirk.
"Well they come from different backgrounds and while they are mutually attracted to one another, there's so many differences…" she said as she felt the skin on her face and neck flush.
"Who cares about that? Love is love! It's so obvious that they are crazy about each other!" said Pamela.
"Oh you must continue this! They just have to get together at the end!" squealed Rachel.
"But is that real life? In the real world differences do matter… too many differences will lead to heartache. Not getting them together would be more realistic… I'm just saying…" said Heather.
"No they have to get together!" shouted Wendy as she fought the urge to smack Heather across the face. Instead, she gave her a death stare, which was ignored by Heather.
"I really haven't decided yet. I've still got a ways to go with revisions and additions…" she said.
"I'm sure you do. The first drafts are always filled with errors and loopholes. You will improve I'm sure! Now who else wants to share?" asked Heather as she turned her back on Angela and scanned the room for a volunteer.
"You want me to slash her tires? Put laxatives in her coffee? Because I'm game for all of that and a lot more!" whispered Wendy to Angela.
"Shhh! Don't you dare! She's just being honest. This is my first attempt at writing and I know I need to improve… she's just trying to help…" she said sadly. Wendy could tell she was really hurt and the need to physically hurt Heather was becoming overwhelming.
The night continued as many of the women shared their stories. Heather was the last to go, spending over fifteen minutes sharing and then raving about her story. All of the women fawned over her, stroking her already inflated ego, while Angela's self worth and confidence took a nosedive.
"C'mon Angela… let's get out of here. Your writing is ten times better than that bimbo's writing!" said Wendy as she pulled Angela to her feet. As they were about to leave, Rachel and Pamela came over.
"Thank you for sharing your story! I really hope you continue sharing with us!" said Rachel.
"Yes! It's wonderful to have new talent among us! Tom and Amanda are so relatable- you really are cheering for them to get together!" said Pamela.
"Thank you… I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it or not. This was silly to begin with and I'm not even a writer…" said Angela sadly.
"Neither are we! We've learned so much from Heather! I'm sure she'd love to help you!" said Rachel naively.
"Yeah… help you… over a cliff I'm sure…" said Wendy, only loudly enough for Angela to hear as she elbowed Wendy in the side.
"Yes maybe I'll do that… okay we really need to get home. Early to work in the morning!" said Angela as she dragged Wendy out of the room. Once they were outside and out of earshot of the group, Wendy pulled Angela to the side of her car.
"I know you Angela and I know that Miss Know It All hurt you. She's just jealous because you took her spotlight away from those airheads who worship the ground she walks on! You have more talent in your right pinky finger than she has in her entire body! Don't you forget that Angela! And besides that… if they ever got a glance at your real life 'Tom' they would really hate you!" laughed Wendy as Angela's eyes got large.
"Wendy! It's a story! Apparently one that needs more work…" she said.
"Angela there was nothing wrong with your work other than it bruised that one's ego! I don't understand why people, women in particular, have to tear each other down to feel better! Listen to me and listen good! You're a great writer and no one has the right to make you feel any less!" said Wendy.
"Thanks Wendy… c'mon let's go home. I've got to be up early tomorrow morning" she said as she hugged Wendy and got in her car. Wendy watched as Angela pulled away, side eying Heather's car with an evil smile.
Angela pulled into the driveway and sunk back in her seat. She could see Tony through the kitchen window. Normally, it would make all her negative feelings go away just seeing Tony, but right now all she wanted to do was make a mad dash to her room and bury herself under the covers. She decided to rip the bandaid off and headed into the house.
"Hi Angela! How was your group?" asked Tony as he finished drying the last dish.
"It was… good. Wendy came along which was nice…" she said, hoping her lying skills were up to par… they weren't.
"That's good she came but it doesn't sound like you had such a great time… what happened?" he asked as he turned a kitchen chair around and sat down, motioning to her to sit at the table.
"Wendy thinks one of the women who leads it is… the jealous type I guess. Anyway she made some innocent comments about my work. She's probably right though… I've just started writing and I'm probably not that good…" she said as she tried to hide the tears in her eyes.
"Eh oh, oh eh! Yes you are! You're smart- I've seen you in action at work and you're brilliant! If that woman can't recognize that… she's blind!" said Tony.
"Being brilliant in the boardroom and a good romance novelist are two different things… but thank you Tony. I needed to hear that… alright I'm going to bed. Have a good night Tony" she said, the disappointment still evident in her voice. Tony's heart sank as he watched her head into the living room.
The next few days, Angela buried herself in her work. Her writing journal collected dust in her office. She tried a few times to sit down and write. She missed the euphoric feeling it gave her when she put the pen to the paper, but each time she tried, her negative self talk got in the way. All she could do was replay Heather's words in her mind. By Sunday afternoon, she got so frustrated with herself she tossed the journal into her office trash can.
"There… it's where you belong… now maybe I can get some peace of mind…" she said as she wiped away some tears in her eyes. She decided to change into a running outfit and go for a long jog through the neighborhood to clear her mind.
Meanwhile, Tony decided to get a head start on his chores. He gathered the family's laundry and started a wash. The garbage went out the following day so he headed to all the bedrooms and bathrooms collecting the trash. He headed downstairs and grabbed the trash from the downstairs bathroom before heading into Angela's office. He noticed her garbage can was filled to the top, something unusual for her. He saw a notebook sticking out of the trash can and pulled it out.
"This must have fallen in here by mistake! It's way too nice to throw away!" he said as he pulled it out of the garbage. He tossed it on Angela's desk, thinking it was a work ledger. It opened up on her desk, revealing Angela's personal writing. He had all intentions of walking away, he really did, but something pulled him back to the desk. He knew this was a major invasion of Angela's privacy and would cause her to lose trust in him that he worked hard these past three years to gain. All rational thoughts led to a thousand good reasons why he should just leave it alone but the pull was too great as he realized it was her writing journal.
"Why is she throwing this away? She's worked so hard on this! That stupid cow of a woman from that group that's what!" he shouted to himself. He quickly closed the journal and put it underneath some of her papers before heading out and throwing the garbage outside. As he finished his task, Angela came running up the driveway.
"Hi Tony! I'm going to go take a shower. What's for dinner?" she asked as she stretched.
"Spaghetti and meatballs plus a caesar salad! Angela… why… why did you throw out your journal?" he asked, catching her off guard.
"I… it wasn't that good. I think I've given writing a long enough go! Time to leave the writing up to the professionals!" she chuckled with a forced, nervous laugh.
"But Angela! You were enjoying yourself! And I never read any of it but I'm willing to bet it was good, really good! Don't let that idiot from the group ruin something you really seemed to love…" he said as he took a few steps closer to her, reaching out and putting his hand on her arm. He had no idea how, after a long run through the neighborhood, someone could still look sexy as hell, but Angela managed to pull it off.
"Thanks Tony… I just can't seem to shake these negative thoughts. I really did enjoy it though… maybe I'll get back to it one day…" she said, trying to will her body to calm itself down after Tony's touch.
"I… I'd be honored if you'd let me read it. I'm no critic or anything but I'd give you my honest opinion…" he said.
"But you just took out the trash Tony! I'm not digging through that and neither are you!" she laughed.
"I… I didn't throw it away… it's in your office. I couldn't let something that meant so much to you get thrown away…" he said, hoping she wouldn't kill him on the spot.
"Oh… well I… I guess you can read it… at least I know I will get your honest opinion. You're not the best liar Tony…" she laughed.
"Eh oh, oh eh! I've lied plenty and gotten away with a lot!" he said, making a childlike pout that made Angela laugh even harder.
"Okay Mr. Deceitful! Let's get inside before I change my mind!" she said as she headed inside the house. A few minutes later, she handed Tony her journal.
"This is for your eyes and your eyes only! If this is seen by either of the kids or my Mother, you'll be sleeping in the garage!" she said, turning abruptly before she could change her mind or he could make a sarcastic comment.
Angela headed up to her room, deciding halfway up the stairs she would take a shower and then soak in the bathtub. She quickly undressed and jumped in the shower, allowing the hot water to soothe her aching muscles. Once she was throughly clean, she got out of the shower and started the bath. Within a few minutes, she was soaking in the tub, trying to relax her mind and body. Suddenly, she sat up quickly, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks.
"Oh my god… I let him read my journal… I let Tony read… my… journal!" she practically yelled to herself. A sense of dread, embarrassment and self-hatred flooded her mind. She wondered if anyone had actually ever died of embarrassment and if it had ever occurred in a bathtub.
