Sometimes it's good to be the bigger person

But I'm so small I can't compare

And after all, it's only fair, yeah

I got what I deserved, I was the other woman first


Quinn smiled and resisted the urge to stick her tongue out to catch a snowflake. Snow was foreign to her like she was in London. She had jumped at the opportunity to study abroad and visit all the places where the classics were written.

Elliot had been gracious enough to fund the excursion and find her a lovely apartment. For once in her life, she decided to be comfortable with the wealth she had grown up in. She took advantage of having the freedom to explore and discover new things in London and herself.

She thought she would miss Charming and California, but London had been everything she could hope for so far. And seeing the snow falling that wasn't artificial had her giddy like a schoolgirl.

She wondered if there would be enough to make a snow angel or even build a snowman. She stuffed her hands into her pocket as she entered the small pub she had been invited to. It felt like there was a pub on every corner in London. Quinn still hadn't acquired a taste for beer.

"I don't think I ever seen you smile like that before."

Quinn looked up to find Joseph looking at her with a soft smile. Joseph was a business major working towards his Master's. She had met him at a coffee shop they both went to. Joseph was from the Lake District in England. He came from old money. He had dark hair and deep green eyes. Under the designer suits, he was covered in tattoos that she compared to scribbles in her head. She wouldn't say that aloud, though.

He greeted her with a kiss. She could smell the bourbon on his breath. His beard scraped her skin. She was surprised he didn't shave it. He typically kept a clean-shaven face. She thought without the beard, he had a babyface. But he was handsome in a classic Hollywood way, like Marlon Brando.

He was all clean with nothing out of place.

"I think I love the snow."

"Snow? Really?"

Quinn nodded her head as she took her seat. Joseph was friendly and fun. For once, it wasn't anything serious or exhausting. They didn't have labels. They were free to end it anytime if they found someone new.

She felt like a typical college student enjoying life for once.


Jax was trying to enjoy himself. He agreed to this. It was the most logical next step in any relationship. He and Susie had been together for a while now. It's been going up for a year now. She was practically living with him. She attended all the clubhouse parties. She met his dad and grandfather. She knew all the guys in the club. She was practically best friends with Lyla, Opie's old lady.

Yet, he could say he only made a little effort to get involved in her world. Hell, he felt the only reason he agreed to this dinner with her parents was the guilt he felt with what happened between Quinn and him in Napa. It was only a kiss, but Quinn was right that it might be easier if they were just friends. He wouldn't feel this turmoil with every interaction they had.

It was always four steps forward and two steps back with them. If they were friends, he wouldn't have to live with the knowledge of how fucking good it felt being with her. The intimacy of their friendship was different than it was as a romantic couple.

Quinn knew him in a way that anyone else could not replicate or replace. Knowing he still loved Quinn when he was with Susie ate him up. Susie was trying her best and didn't do anything wrong.

He didn't want to write her off because he did have a good time with Susie. They had a lot of good times drinking and partying. Susie had a thing for board games, and he enjoyed those game nights.

She always kept his house clean and the fridge stocked. They never argued.

She just wasn't Quinn.

So, a part of him was happy when Quinn said she was doing study abroad for a year. He thought even more distance would do them good. He hoped that a year away, they would grow up and come to terms with things that weren't meant to be for them in that way.

Instead, he constantly wondered about Quinn and how London was treating her. They had taken to emailing each other. She would include plenty of pictures, and he had been taken back by the highlighter yellow that she had dyed her hair. She had told him that it was a kidnapper's deterrent.

So he sucked it up at the dinner. After all, it wasn't as if he ever had a dinner family with Quinn and her family. Susie's parents were kind. They all ignored the elephant in the room, that he was in a biker club, but he could make decent conversation with them. He could tell Susie was happy, but he was worried about what was coming next. After all, Suzie hadn't been shy about wanting marriage and babies in the future. He had been surprised she wasn't pressing him for a crow tattoo.

It all felt good in their relationship. She loved him, and he knew that. Jax knew he loved Susie, but he wasn't sure in what way.

Jax sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. He had his phone open to the last email Quinn had sent. She was standing in front of a horde of Christmas trees, smiling wide as she looked into the camera. Her yellow hair peaked out beneath the beanie.

He felt Susie climb up on the bed behind him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she pressed a kiss to them.

"How is Quinn?"

"She seems to be doing okay."

Susie didn't ask any follow-up questions. "Thanks for coming to dinner tonight. It meant a lot."

Jax locked his phone as he turned and gathered Suzie in his arms. "You think I made a good impression?"

She nodded her head. "I think they loved you."

"And you got that from just one dinner?" Jax teased.

Susie punched him in the arm. "I'm being serious."

Jax turned serious. "I know. I'm sorry I dragged my feet."

"I'm not trying to push you into anything, Jax, or take more than you are offering, but a relationship is a two-way street."


Quinn rubbed her tender wrists as she stepped out of the shower. Christmas was coming in a couple of weeks, and she needed to decide if she was staying or going home. She didn't think there was an upside to heading back to California. Besides, Elliot offered to fly out to her with her mother. She didn't necessarily want her mother invading her space, but what choice did she have? Besides, her mom would probably camp out in the hotel room anyway.

Quinn entered Joseph's bedroom. He was reclining on the bed, having his post-sex cigarette. That was the only time he engaged in the filthy habit, as he told her. She walked over and began putting her clothes back on.

"You know, you could stay the night."

"When has that ever been part of the arrangement?" She questioned as she slid on her underwear and then searched for her bra.

"I'm beginning to feel used here," Joseph quipped.

"You are feeling used, but I am the one getting fucked." Quinn fired back.

Joseph put his hands up. "I'm just saying I like you. You don't have to leave as soon as it is over."

Quinn sighed. What Joseph was asking for wasn't wholly unreasonable. It's just she was doing well in keeping things separate. She found she enjoyed being single. She didn't want to know more about Joseph than she already did. It was why she never allowed him back at her place.

Though what harm could come from sleeping in his bed?


Jax could admit he was never one for the holidays. It wasn't for his grandfather's lack of decorating the house and having him participate in traditions he shared with his mother. Sometimes, the holidays were the only times he felt close to his mother.

He wasn't exactly sure when the Christmas spirit waned. He wouldn't be able to pinpoint it.

So he tried to get into the holiday spirit with Susie. He didn't want to be a Scrooge, considering all the work she put into decorating his house and shopping for gifts for his family and the guys.

So he didn't voice any objection when she threw a hideous sweater at him and told him that they were going to a party.

The party wasn't large, but he still felt out of place among bankers, doctors, and teachers. He was aware of his status as an outlaw biker and mechanic, yet everyone also forgot he was a mechanic.

So, he kept to the background as Susie went from person to person. He sipped gingerly on his class of Whiskey. Sometimes, he felt the divide more clearly in his life when the men wanted to talk about football or any sport. The only sports Jax did loosely follow were boxing and MMA.

However, he saw a flash of a familiar redhead and wondered what they were doing in Charming. Despite many attempts, Quinn could never convince Michelle to visit Charming at least once.

So he was surprised to see her swinging a glass of wine around with David Hale of all people. He couldn't even ponder how those two even met.

Her eyes were lit with amusement as she caught his eye. He ignored David's scowl as she made her way over to him.

"Fancy seeing you here?" she greeted, and it was a miracle her drink didn't spill all over the floor, given how unsteady she was.

"I was thinking the same," he replied.

Michelle grinned as she finished her drink. "Our girl tell you about her new boytoy?"

Jax furrowed his brow. Quinn did mention that she was seeing some guy named Joseph. It wasn't serious—just fun.

I want to feel young and unburdened for once. Was what she wrote in one of her many emails to him. Jax didn't blame her. He ignored the sting of her sharing another man's bed, but how could he complain when sharing his bed with Susie and the sweetbutts on his runs.

"In passing," he replied. He didn't want to delve into Quinn's relationship status with Michelle. He didn't like gossip. He didn't want to be plagued with thoughts of Quinn when Susie was only a few feet away.

"He is into some rough shit," Michelle commented offhand.

"Rough shit like what?" He asked concerned. Quinn told him that Joseph came from a good family invested in business. He knew people with money could get into shady shit, and he wasn't one to talk, but from what Juice pulled on the man, he and the guy's family were clean.

Michelle mimicked a whip. "BDSM, I guess."

Jax scrunched his nose. "Why in the hell would I want to know that?"

She shrugged and sucked on the straw in her drink. It was hard to tell if Michelle was high or drunk, or even worse, both. It amazed him that of all the people in the world, Quinn had befriended this one.

It wasn't as if he was to judge anyone else in life. He wasn't exactly a role model. Yet, Michelle was wild as he came to know her. He knew Michelle would thrive being a croweater and would be a favorite for the likes of Tig. So it baffled him that she managed to entrap the likes of David Hale. Then again, Michelle was the daughter of some politician in the city.

He felt a familiar burning sensation in his chest when he thought of Quinn, especially when he was around other people.

He left Michelle to her own devices.

He was still put out when he and Susie made it home. He could tell Susie knew something was off as he didn't even smile at her mischievously when she came in wearing some expensive lingerie with lace and intricate ribbons.

He felt even more annoyed as it made him think of Quinn. Jax couldn't say he didn't enjoy the dress-up, but he was a simple man at best.

Quinn always enjoyed his oversized shirts versus fancy silks. Now, he remembered she would get creative with the underwear and bras. However, she always had the middle man cut out for his easier access. Nine times out of ten, Quinn preferred to sleep in the nude anyway.

The bed dipped behind him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Just tired," he replied, rubbing a hand down his face.

"I saw you talking to Michelle," Susie said hesitantly. "Something wrong with Quinn?"

That was the million-dollar question, wasn't it?

"Quinn in trouble?"

"I don't know, maybe. I guess a guy friend of hers…is into some stuff," Jax told her.

Susie sighed deeply, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Her sigh sounded annoyed.

He looked at his girlfriend, who was making herself comfortable on her side of the bed.

"What?"

"Quinn's always been attracted to…pain, Jax," Susie said nothing more to him as she rolled to her side. Her back was facing him as she turned off the light.


She never realized how sterile Joseph's room was. She was still cold despite the heat from the furnace and his body.

Maybe she should have gone home for Christmas. She didn't need to see or hear Jax to feel his disappointment that she wouldn't return to the States. But in her mind, she couldn't let Jax be the only reason for her to visit.

There was nothing in Charming for her. Besides, as much as Susie was pleasant to her in passing, she knew the girl could not feel comfortable with Jax being so warm and friendly to an ex-girlfriend.

Quinn had started to come to terms with as much as she and Jax tried to be friends. The truth was that they were exes and had long transcended any boundaries ever to have a true friendship again.

So it had been easy to accept Joseph's invitation for a Christmas dinner and dessert. Oswald and her mother were arriving tomorrow afternoon.

Dinner had been pleasant and catered. Joseph led most of their conversation when the clinking of forks and spoons became too much.

She and Joseph did not have much in common outside of growing up with the privilege of money.

She hadn't been surprised that dessert could only be found in the bedroom. Yet, now, she wasn't in the mood for it. She didn't think she would be for a while.

Her mind was numb as Joseph licked, sucked, and nipped across her body. His touch felt repulsive now, and in her mind, he really didn't know her body or what she truly liked or wanted.

She tightened her grip on the bars. Her wrists were cuffed, but as a rule, she was never bound directly to the bed, where she couldn't move freely. Like her ankles restrained by a spreader bar. However, in her daze of staring at the ceiling, she heard the sound of chains and felt Joseph down by her legs. She looked down, and even more grateful that she refused the blindfold, "What are you doing?"

Joseph looked up at her, and his eyes looked black. "I was hoping we could try something new."

"I told you before I don't want to be tied up that way," she hissed as she sat up and brought her legs closer to her body.

"Come on, don't be like that."

Quinn's eyes narrowed, and she quickly released her ankles from their constraints. "I think I am gonna leave."

"If you leave, don't think you are going to come back. I'm tired of your hot and cold bullshit, especially for a simple fucking lay."

She knew he wanted his words to hurt her. She only raised her hands for him to unlock her cuffs.

On her walk home, the snow was falling again.

She stuck her tongue out and caught a snowflake.