"Jesus." She muttered loudly, arching her back, barely recovering from the orgasm that Amelia just gave her. Had it been the third time? Arizona already lost count.
Her body felt like a limp, and she was exhausted — in the best way. God, how did Amelia get so good at this? She feared she could never recover from this, literally for each time Amelia would decide to go down on her.
Amelia grinned, as she moved between her thighs, climbing up to kiss her, hard.
She could taste herself in her tongue, the sensation only made her even dizzier and she thought she could come again just from that feeling.
Arizona felt a hand run up to her thigh, and she felt a low moan in her chest as she watched Amelia pull back to wrap her mouth around her breast.
"Amelia." Her voice was dangerously low, eyes squeezed shut as she felt two fingers sliding into her fast while her teeth grazed over her nipple at the same time.
"Hmm?" The brunette only managed to tease, mouth still rather occupied over a taut nipple. She could feel a smirk forming in her mouth as she hummed in pleasure, how she was able to easily slip a third finger in – curling and moving her fingers slowly, feeling them pressed harder against her clit.
"Fuck, Amelia." A faint whimper escaped her lips as she instinctively rolled her hips up to get more friction, burying her face on a nearby pillow as her hands clenched at the sheets. "I-I'm going to—"
"Come?" Amelia asked, whipping her head up in an attempt to playfully provoke her. She got up to straddle her, giving Arizona a view of her naked body glistening all thanks to the amount of sex they had been having for the past two hours. She knew there was no getting back to this. She knew she was going to be late for class. Again. "Oh, I know. Look at how soaked you are – all for me." She pulled her fingers out before thrusting them back in all at once, a mischievous grin etched on her face. The sensation made the blonde almost sit up fully from the bed, her teeth almost felt like they could crack at any given moment because god forbid she couldn't allow herself to scream.
She didn't want to put on a show for their neighbors, let alone the whole fucking block.
"Fuck, I-I can't…" Amelia knew she meant something else entirely but all the dirty talk and with all of her inside of her was making her want to die. "I-I'm going to be late for class–" She tried to explain – barely. Her chest was rising hard and fast with all the build-up, she couldn't even formulate thoughts into coherent sentences now because Amelia didn't want her to be late for class either, so that only meant she was practically working double-time now, with deft fingers sliding through wet heat pumping harder into her more than ever.
She was going to let her finish. How nice.
"This will be quick. Don't you worry."
Arizona's head flew back down on the bed with a loud thump, eyelids fluttering as Amelia climbed back up to her chest to swallow the moan that formed in her throat. Amelia delved her tongue deeper into her mouth, shaky hands pulling harshly at her wrist – maintaining the rhythm of the pace and ensuring that Amelia didn't stop.
Even if it was already leaving her breathless. Like she was already close to a second dying.
She let out a muffled cry as she felt her walls start to tighten around her fingers when she finally came. Watched as Amelia pulled back with a gasp to also get a front-row seat of how she rode out her orgasm.
Arizona loved how she watched her come, her cheeks flushed and her face glistened with sweat, with dark lustful eyes stealing her every thought.
When she was finally able to catch her breath, Amelia let out a small laugh as she leaned forward to give her a kiss on the lips. The moment never really lasted long when Amelia was quick enough to pull away to get up and out of bed. She scrambled back down the floor to get Arizona's pants then padded her way to the drawer to get her a clean pair of underwear.
"You know if we keep going like this, I'm going to end up failing all my classes–" Arizona cocked her brow in amusement, back now pressed against the headboard as she watched Amelia frantically look for any piece of clean clothing she could find in the drawer.
"That's not going to happen. Not when you have a thoughtful, kind, insanely beautiful and oh, not to mention – extremely smart and sufficient girlfriend to support you—" Amelia turned her head around to give her a wink in assurance, before working her attention back down again to her drawer.
"What if it's too late? I mean Kenner already told me I'm a lost cause…" She asked realization slowly taking hold of her as another wave of anxiety coursed through her veins.
The blonde had been thinking about it a lot lately. The bad outcomes, the grades she could barely keep up, the amount of extra work she needed just so they wouldn't throw her out of the program – what if that was the last of it?
The only one left, utterly the only one who ever believed in her was Amelia. Hell, she has already failed to believe in herself a long time ago.
What if they were right and maybe she really wasn't cut out to be a surgeon?
Arizona gnawed at her bottom lip, squaring her shoulders as she sighed in disappointment, "I don't think making it in time for class would even change anything… Amelia?"
When she looked up, Arizona found the brunette frozen and locked in a moment of shock, her back still facing her.
An overwhelming fear suddenly loomed at her when she realized maybe Amelia was not yet prepared to hear all of this, to hear how she was already somewhat quitting. With that, she instantly stood up from the bed, gathering the bed sheets up against her chest.
Just when she was about to get up to confront and tell her to forget everything that she said, Amelia had already turned her head back around, with an expression that was hard to read - and her hand crumpled up against a tiny box.
Arizona didn't have to waste any second to know exactly what Amelia was holding.
The brunette's mouth dropped open, features contorted slightly as her gaze remained focused, unblinking. "W-what's this?"
Her girlfriend was thoughtful, kind, and insanely beautiful.
And like what she said, and on top of all the best qualities Amelia ever had — she was also sufficient and smart enough to know that it was a wedding ring box she was holding in her hand.
So, now…
How could she find the right words to explain to her girlfriend that in that little box was an engagement ring for her?
And that she wasn't supposed to know just yet?
It had been two weeks since she last saw Amelia.
Not that she was keeping track of it. Maybe she was just thinking about Scout a lot,
A big part of her was still worried about him, regardless if she'd been keeping tabs through April.
April said Scout was more than fine, and that he was even keen on getting a check-up even if it was no longer necessary. The scans were normal, and they had been lucky enough to know that the cut on his head wasn't deep to the point it needed to be stitched. The wound would heal in no time, likely faster than Arizona getting over that boy.
April told Arizona that maybe Scout wanted to get himself checked in the hospital, thinking it was the only way he would get to see Arizona. Something about it made her chest ache, but she instead put on a brave face and thanked April for letting her know that Scout was safe.
Sometimes it was easier to watch over people from afar, even if it would only do nothing but wreck her. She refused to believe this was the last time she could ever see Scout, yet she wondered if she could also say the same with Amelia.
She had hurt Amelia in all ways more than once a few weeks back. The call from Brooke Reed may have already been the final nail in the coffin, how she looked as though she was even more enthusiastic to take that stupid fucking phone call than actually talk to her.
Arizona was not just pathetic, but also a damn coward.
She may not have run from her this time around, like what she just did back in that cafe, but she had hurt her to the same extent as actually leaving.
She had seen Amelia again in ten years, and now she felt as though she was incapable of having another ten years of her life without seeing her. Not to mention with Scout in the picture, she had already been attached to him.
Great. Because she was missing Scout more than her mom.
Then again, she thought to herself— that was exactly how it was supposed to be. Right?
She and Amelia are nothing.
"It helps me sleep better at night, knowing you're out there doing something amazing."
"Maybe I just reached a point where I badly wanted you to ask me how I've been instead. I'm the one who's literally right here, aren't I?"
"But ten years ago, we were together. We loved each other, and believe it or not, I did picture a life with you — and no one but you. I'm not expecting you to treat me the same way as before, but god I just wished…"
There was no way she was missing Amelia as well. Just in no way possible to even be missing her.
Arizona finally agreed to go on a date.
With Brooke Reed.
April told her it was a bad idea, believing that she was only doing this to get over Amelia. But honestly, what was wrong with that?
It was not like she owed Amelia anything. She was single and she hadn't been in a serious relationship for three years. And also, thanks to Amelia, she also learned that Brooke just got out of a divorce, so maybe she was not looking for anything serious either.
Maybe she just needed a good lay, one that Arizona could definitely need right now. She could have that without expecting anything in return. The whole night about them didn't have to mean anything but a quick fuck.
So that was how she ended up at Canlis just at the Pacific Nortwest side. Brooke looked amazing, almost ethereal, wearing a red spaghetti strap satin cocktail dress. Her hair was tied up in a neat bun, and her green eyes sparkled, practically glowing as she smiled at Arizona across the table.
Brooke knew what she was doing.
Arizona was afraid they wouldn't even make it to their main course if she continued to stare at her as if she wanted to be fucked by the blonde right there and then. Her leg underneath the table had been accidentally bumping with that of hers, by accident and unintentional for quite a handful of times now —and her silk dress was giving Arizona a good view of her cleavage, so who was she to exactly deny a woman who wanted her?
But Arizona was perfectly fine, calm, and collected. And like the gentlewoman that she was, she'd finish their dinner by actually listening attentively to her date and making it worthwhile for her. She was not going to jump right into sex, even if that was what her mind and body were completely telling her what she needed right now.
She could wait.
As she should.
They continued to talk more, and for a second — she'd forgotten how badly she needed a release, as she realized that Brooke was actually sweet and fun to talk to. She was a software engineer in a start-up IT company just a couple of blocks from Harriet and Scout's school, newly divorced, and recently just moved to Seattle looking for a fresh start with her 5- year old daughter.
"So what about you, what's your story?" Brooke prompted, taking a sip of wine from her glass as she looked at Arizona with a genuine intent of knowing her.
It was a first.
Most of the women she met easily would dive straight into sex.
Arizona pressed her lips together, with a sly shake on the head. Something about talking about herself made her queasy. She'd rather just listen to people talk all day about themselves than to even let herself tell her own story.
Everyone knew it. April knew that, even Amelia.
Hell, she didn't even know why she was making such a big deal out of this when she could easily just tell her side of the story.
Arizona had barely even responded to Brooke when her thoughts had been silenced as she saw Amelia being led by one of the servers at a nearby table.
Rather just four tables across from her. From the looks of it, Amelia hadn't seen her just yet. Amelia seemed occupied, occupied yet excited — Arizona drew a short breath as she realized Amelia was about to have a dinner date with someone.
She could tell just by how she dressed up. Wearing a velvet cowl neck dress with cider chain straps. Her hair was practically glowing, bristly, and soft — loosely cascading from her shoulders, paired with black heels and red matte lipstick. Arizona generously took in the sight of Amelia in this state. Beautiful, radiant, and happy — the happiest she'd ever seen her since they met, and something about it provided warmth in her chest.
Something about it made Arizona smile to herself.
And she realized, anything to see Amelia happy was enough.
She was a mom, raising a beautiful kid - and from the looks of it, a successful cafe. She definitely deserved this.
Maybe this time around, Arizona could finally meet Scout's dad.
April said he was an orthopedic surgeon at Seattle Presbyterian. Which maybe could have explained why Arizona never heard of him.
Amelia settled comfortably into her seat, a smile plastered on her face as she waited patiently for her date to arrive. Arizona gave one last look at where she sat, and turned her direction back to Brooke, finally responding to her.
An hour has passed, and Amelia still sat there alone — looking increasingly upset, and less excited at this point now.
Arizona couldn't tear her eyes off of her no matter how hard she tried. She was worried. Worried and angry.
Arizona decided she could be worried about Amelia and angry at her supposed 'date' at the same time. Her stomach coiled, and it was something that would only happen when something irked her. Arizona sighed. She wished there was something that she could do for Amelia.
Arizona clenched her jaw, knuckles crumpled up on the table as she saw Amelia was using all of her energy not to cry right now. She could tell how Amelia lifted her chin up, as she stared at the ceiling instead, refusing to not let the tears ruin her good make-up which Arizona assumed took hours for her to prepare.
Amelia was so beautiful, Scout's dad didn't deserve her. How could he? When he couldn't even have the audacity to show up for her?
She caught herself frowning to herself. Amelia refusing not to cry suddenly became unbearable for Arizona as she looked away. Fuck Scout's Dad, really. Something about him fueled the rage in her for all the right reasons.
"Are you okay?" Brooke asked, pulling her back to where she really was — right back to their date. She'd forgotten about Brooke, and less about where she exactly was because now, Amelia had both hands on her face, body practically shuddering. Without stealing another minute, she hastily got up from her seat and went straight to the restroom.
Arizona instinctively slapped her hand hard against the table as she watched Amelia leave, startling not just Brooke but also another couple sitting across their table. Arizona hated seeing her this way. She had never been used to just watching Amelia cry, and do nothing about it.
"Arizona, are you—"
"Will you excuse me for a second?" She cuts her off, almost coming off impatient. "I just need to go to the restroom." She pulled a forced smile, as she stood up from her table and made a beeline to where Amelia went.
She didn't even give Brooke a chance to respond.
Frankly, Arizona couldn't care less.
She just needed to see Amelia.
Arizona barged right to the door, and she wished she hadn't been too abrupt as it also surprised Amelia.
She was crying, practically sobbing into her hands. Arizona assumed so as to not make any noise. It was gut-wrenching. Amelia stood at the farthest end, right in front of the sink, and met eyes with her. She quickly sobered up when she saw that it was Arizona.
"What are you doing here?" Amelia blinked in confusion, attempting to fix herself up. The universe must have been playing a sick joke on them for the handful of times they had unexpectedly seen each other unasked.
"What's his name?" She asked, failing to bite the harshness in her tone. It left Amelia surprised how Arizona didn't even respond to her question.
Amelia tilted her head, looking unsure of how to answer that. "Who's him?"
"Scout's dad. Your husband?" Arizona prompted, as she inhaled deeply. She contemplated if she was even allowed to make her way to her. Arizona wanted to give her some space so as to not overwhelm her. It was already too much for Amelia to even see her barge right through the door unexpectedly.
It was also still taking a lot of time for her to get used to the fact that Amelia was already someone else's mom, someone else's wife .
"I don't follow—"
"He was supposed to be your date tonight, right?" Arizona asked, crossing her arms defensively against her chest. And look, she wasn't even bitter about the situation - which was a surprise. Because if her husband couldn't even have the decency to show up for her, then he didn't deserve Amelia.
That alone was enough to fuel the bitter taste that already formed in her mouth. But now all Arizona felt was rage. That kind of rage where she couldn't sit still, where she had this sudden urge to scream ferociously because Amelia looked as if it took a lot of preparation for her to even look and dress this way, and to even be driving herself all the way to the restaurant. It was unfair for her to be looking so beautiful and be so alone at this moment. She was worth seeing for and more.
If the roles had been reversed, Arizona would have dropped everything for Amelia.
Amelia bit the inside of her cheek harder, as she looked away. Without another word, she let out a scoff as she pulled out some tissue from the dispenser, using it to wipe the tears that had already formed in her eyes. "Where did you even get the idea I'm married to him?" She met her gaze in disdain, shoulders sagging. "Scout's dad and I aren't together."
Oh.
"Then what are you—"
"What, are you the only one who's allowed to date?" Amelia asked unexpectedly. The corner of Arizona's mouth twitched as she forcefully swallowed the gulp that formed in her throat. The thought that Amelia had already seen her and Brooke threw her off. Not that she owed Amelia an explanation but still—
It also came off as a shock that Amelia was not married to Scout's dad, let alone - single now.
But that was no longer her business.
Maybe she should have been asking her more than just assuming.
The blonde gnawed on the bottom of her lip, deciding on what to say. "I'm sorry," Arizona let out a shaky breath, guilt swallowing her up as she pressed her lips together in a firm line, not knowing where to look.
Nonetheless, it still didn't change the fact that Amelia came here all alone, and from the looks of it— she had been stood up by whoever her date was.
That was still enough to fuel her rage, "I'm still going to need the name of this date of yours."
"What for?"
"I'm going to talk to him or her, whoever — it's unacceptable to leave you just like that. They don't deserve you, you look—" Arizona kept interrupting herself only because she was still deciding if she was even in the right place to say all this. Technically, she wasn't. Amelia could easily tell her to fuck off because it was not her business and never was. How she could even find the nerve to give her date a lecture when she should have been the one being lectured for acting so distant and petty with Amelia for the past few weeks?
They were not even friends anymore, rather, they were more like a couple of strangers with an untouched ring and a bad break-up.
Amelia cried, finally letting her sobs slip past her as she covered her face with shaking hands. This time, she didn't even bother to not let her tears escape her eyes as they ruined her make-up, while traces of mascara-stained tears streamed down her cheeks. Seeing Amelia this way, for the first time in years — evoked something in Arizona, it was always by instinct that she would pull her into her chest to make her feel safe.
Amelia buried herself right into her chest, one hand reaching out to tug at the collar of her dress shirt, and the other wrapped around her waist. Arizona could only do nothing but hold her — wrapping her arms around the small of her back in comfort. It was their first real contact in years .
Sure, their hands have grazed at some point, Amelia did hold her wrist back in that cafe — but this time around it was initiated by Arizona. It was too intimate, but it felt so right.
No amount of denial could even explain how much she missed Amelia now. She missed holding her like this. That alone was enough to make Arizona cry as well. But tonight was not about her — and the reasons why she held her now was not because of want, but of need.
For Amelia's sake.
She rubbed her arm across her back, using her free hand to soothe her hair. Arizona could tell that her dress shirt had already been stained by Amelia's tears but she didn't mind at all. Their hug was fueled by desperation, an urge for immediate comfort — Arizona almost lost her balance as she tried to steady Amelia who was still curled up against her chest. Amelia backed them up slowly, as she cornered Arizona against a wall, whimpering with sobs. The feeling was all too well. "I'm sorry this happened. They don't deserve—"
"It's not that," she choked out, pulling back slowly but still within arms reach. "It's about m-me . I made a fucking big deal over some stupid date and look what that had gotten me." Amelia harshly wiped her eyes, exhaling deeply. "This was my first date in two years since I called it quits with Scout's dad. I was adamant about this, but I wanted to try — I missed… never mind."
"Amelia," Arizona breathed out, lifting her chin up with her finger to meet her gaze. "You can tell me." She stroked her cheek, as Amelia squeezed her eyes momentarily- letting the tears fall even harder.
"I wanted to know what it's like out there for me. If anyone could still even want me, it's been so long. So I put on this stupid dress, did my hair and make-up — I prepped for two freaking hours because I couldn't even decide which shoes to wear." She laughed humorlessly and Arizona just listened, still holding her close. Something about Amelia's words made her chest ache. "I met her through Tinder, fuck — you know it's bad enough that I've resorted to online dating apps. Her name was Abby. She was pretty and fun. We've been talking for quite a while now, and I thought it'd be a good idea to finally meet up with her." Her lip quivered, as she grabbed another tissue from a dispenser behind Arizona, "Guess it was not."
A slight wince contorted Arizona's features, her heart sinking lower in her chest. It killed her that Amelia had to go through this alone, moreover, how selfish she had been - for never even asking how she had been for these past years. Raising a child - her own business…
April did tell Arizona that Amelia didn't even finish her residency. These were worth talking about and Arizona had never been frustrated with herself that she had only known all this just because April told her. Honestly, Arizona was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to tell her, because she knew nothing she could ever say would make things better for Amelia.
All she could do was hold her though, make her feel that she was not alone. And that she didn't have to keep all these things to herself. Arizona allowed Amelia to be tucked against her, and Amelia in return buried herself on the blonde's side. Like what they used to do.
It was a first for Arizona - because she had never allowed anyone to hold her like this but Amelia. Not even with any of her flings or even from two of the only women she ever dated after the brunette.
Amelia sighed, breathing now finally becoming slow and steady as she combed her fingers through her hair. "I should have just stayed home, you know?" She muttered fiercely. Arizona might have been looking at her differently now, which must have been why Amelia decided to look away.
She tucked the side of her head against the blonde's chin, her hand finding its way to ruffle the fabric of Arizona's dress shirt. She seemed more engrossed in what Arizona was wearing than herself. And the blonde just knew she was only doing that to distract herself and to dampen the awkwardness of the situation.
They knew they shouldn't even be doing this. They were holding each other too close like they were a thing, but neither seemed to care. Arizona's breath hitched in her throat when Amelia's hand lay atop her chest, the heartbeats only getting louder and even more erratic as Amelia's hand decided to stop right there. "I have such a great kid. That should have been enough."
"Hey," Arizona softly called for her, lifting her chin up to lock eyes. "You're never wrong to want something more." She reasoned. The brunette breathed out, leaning towards her touch more — as if her whole life depended on it. She skimmed the tip of her thumb across her face again, wiping her tears. Amelia lets out a small whimper when her finger grazed the bottom of her lip.
Arizona pulled away slightly, not wanting to make it seem as if she was taking advantage of the situation when she only did it to stop her lip from quivering. "You deserve to have someone to love. And I'm sorry, but if she can't even do the bare minimum - by showing up, then they're not the one for you. That's not your fault, and that's okay." She explained.
"You're thoughtful, and kind. You're insanely beauti—" Beautiful. Because she still was, and ever will be. Arizona badly wanted to tell her that, but she didn't want to overstep. Amelia tilted her head, listening word by word as Arizona cleared her throat, trying to redeem herself. "You don't just tell anyone you love them, you show them." She wanted to add more - because Amelia has always been the one who deserved more, more respect, more love - more appreciation. But she was also someone who also didn't want to overstep. It'd complicate things even more.
Arizona has had her fair share of complicated relationships in her life. Her pain tolerance was pretty high, but that didn't mean she'd allow herself to go through this again. Especially with Amelia.
Amelia of all people.
Amelia blinked forcibly, and Arizona slightly pulled away thinking she must have done something to make things even more awkward between them. But instead, she only managed to pull a soft smile paired with a flick of her eyebrow, the one she would often show when she found herself amused at something Arizona would say.
Arizona knew her too well.
Too well that it hurts.
The sight made her slightly feel lightheaded and she feared that the only thing that would keep her steady and up at her feet was to be able to take Amelia's face in her hands. She wanted to do more than just have simple physical contact with her. She wanted to hold her, wanted her touches to linger, for it to mean something - god, she'd been so bad at denying how much she missed her.
The moment never really lasted long when they were forced to pull away from each other upon the soft beep on Arizona's phone. The blonde slightly winced as she took the phone in her hand - and saw that it was Brooke asking her if she was still okay.
She must have gotten worried about being in the restroom for far too long. She looked up at Amelia and back down on her phone, biting her lip down. Arizona felt disappointed as it was also a clear indication that this shared moment she had with Amelia was the last of it.
At some point, she had to go back there again.
To Brooke.
Where she belonged, of course.
She lets out a sigh, and before she could even open her mouth - Amelia was already giving her a small smile, maybe too frail - too pretentious.
And yeah, Arizona knew her that well to know that she wasn't happy about this. She wished she could tell her how she felt the same way, but then again — what for?
"Go. Be with your date." Amelia told her, looking away as she turned to face the mirror instead - making an attempt to fix herself up with a couple of tissues she managed to whip out from the dispenser again.
No.
I want to stay with you.
Arizona didn't know why she fought the urge to say that instead.
Tell me not to leave this.
Tell me to drop everything, because I would.
Her chest ached and she felt sick to her stomach because how could she still think about Amelia this way? It made her feel stupid, foolish — and reckless, so no — she will not stay for Amelia. She will not think of Amelia. She did not come all the way here for Amelia.
She was with Brooke.
Amelia was right. She had someone back there. And Amelia was, – she'd be fine on her own. Maybe her date would show up, maybe they won't.
Really, that shouldn't be her business anymore.
She wished she didn't care. She wished she could go back to hating her.
But the honest truth there was - she never hated Amelia. No matter how much she tried.
"I'll be fine, Arizona."
A fucking lie.
She clenched her jaw as she lets out a breath, typing a quick reply before putting the phone back in her pocket once again. "Okay. Well —" she scratched her head, finding the right words to say. Truthfully there was none. And Arizona badly wanted to leave now before she ended up doing something that would wreck them even more.
Their eyes briefly met through the mirror, and Arizona was still in complete denial that this must be the last time she'd get to hold her.
Amelia's face contorted lightly, keeping her emotions in check as she bit down on her bottom lip. "Goodbye."
So she left.
Arizona was usually good at this.
She used to be so goddamn good at this.
The last time she checked she wanted this — to get laid, to spend the night with Brooke because she could, and Brooke was fun and more than willing. She didn't want to waste the opportunity. But she didn't know how she'd gotten sloppy, the minute Brooke dragged her inside her car.
How Brooke managed to get on top of her as she adjusted the driver's seat to make room for her. She straddled the blonde's lap as she pulled her up by the collar of her dress shirt, kissing her. And it was nice. More than nice. It was a natural reaction to moan, when she slipped her tongue in her, to lose herself when a woman's mouth was on her, kissing her jaw and neck, sucking on her pulse point — everywhere her lips would dream of landing on.
When her palm would squeeze her breasts, Arizona only managed to whimper because she missed this. She missed fucking and she called it fucking because that was how it always had been. Sex had always been filled with nothing but passion, and she managed to do that without actual emotions getting involved.
Brooke felt so hot against her mouth, she wished she could say she was slightly turned on. But her mind would draw back to sad blue eyes and quivering lips and she'd lose all the progress she made of getting worked up.
Amelia would be just fine.
She felt fingers reaching out to unbutton her dress shirt, almost frantically — Arizona groaned, as the same fingers dragged her blouse down to lightly trace her clavicle. Arizona shuddered under Brooke's touch as she leaned forward and sucked on the now-exposed skin. She pressed her thighs together restraining another moan that escaped her mouth, to which Brooke let out a laugh.
Amelia was okay.
S he was perfectly capable of handling this on her own.
Brooke pulled back, but Arizona caught her early on for a second kiss. Harder and more desperate. She needed this. She needed to remind herself that she wanted this.
Arizona kept telling herself that she needed this, and she was damn sure she could prove that just by hiking Brooke's dress further up until she had access to the inside of her thigh. Brooke whimpered from the contact, and Arizona smiled against her lips. She was back in the game.
But Brooke didn't want it slow, as Arizona intended. She was getting rather impatient, as she felt her buckle harder against her lap.
She hovered over her, loose hair falling from her face as she stared at Arizona with deep, lustful eyes. It became harder for Arizona to look at Brooke, not when all she could think about was Amelia.
It honestly became even more difficult to go on now when there was eye contact involved.
Fuck, Amelia.
Amelia in her beautiful dress. That took her hours to prepare because she wanted to make a good impression on her first date. Amelia stood up. Amelia crying. Amelia in her arms. It was all too much.
Brooke roughly slipped the dress shirt off Arizona, leaving her in a white lace bra. She poked softly at her breast, brushing her fingertips against her chest, marveling at them first before leaning forward to trace her cleavage with her tongue. Arizona arched her back forward, moaning uncontrollably as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to return the favor by unzipping her dress to gain more access to her skin but her hands remained frozen and locked on both of her sides.
She was usually the dominant one in bed, (or any place they end up having sex with. In this case, in her car) but Arizona couldn't even muster the energy to touch her. Her body went rigid even more when Brooke brushed her hair back and leaned once again for a slow, languid kiss.
It was too real. As much as the kiss was heavenly, and Brooke's touches still made her heart pound, Arizona didn't know her heart was also capable of aching at the same time.
She remembered how Amelia held onto her, the hand that splayed out on her chest, and eyes that looked so empty and broken. She hadn't seen Amelia in so much pain since Arizona proposed. She wasn't able to run after her then, Arizona was given the impression that Amelia didn't want to. But now, they were nothing, and she was hurting, just maybe — Amelia would need someone now. Maybe she should go back to her.
Arizona was pulled back from her thoughts when she saw Brooke was now unbuckling her belt, about to remove her pants obviously. She felt her hand creep its way down the waistline of her pants, but that was the last straw.
She never felt this suffocated to have sex ever before. But now, all Arizona wanted was for Brooke to leave. She couldn't want this. Not after what happened tonight.
God, how was it possible that she was still thinking about Amelia?
She pulled rather harshly, her wrist away from her pants, features scrunched up in a slight wince as she muttered a sincere, "I'm sorry."
Brooke's face fell but she immediately nodded as she propped back on the passenger seat, fixing her dress. Arizona ran a hand on her face, shaking her head hard in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I just— fuck. "
She thought she wanted this.
Arizona got her blouse that Brooke haphazardly threw from the backseat, buttoning them up once again to its rightful place. She tried to keep herself busy, anything to keep her from looking back at a confused Brooke. It was a dick move, leading her on — and now leaving her high and dry. For fucks sake, she thought she wanted this.
And it turned out she couldn't.
"A lot's just been in my head lately and don't get me wrong—" she tried to explain but Brooke cuts her off, placing a finger on her lips. She was smiling so it meant she understood, Arizona figured.
The blonde honestly wished she didn't.
Brooke didn't deserve this.
"Arizona, it's okay." She assured her, eyes still fixed on Arizona, squeezing her thigh. "If there should be anyone apologizing it should be me, I overstepped —"
"You didn't." Arizona quickly told her, because it was the truth. The blonde exhaled, facing her. "You're amazing and tonight was amazing, but I don't think I'm there yet…" Stupid, dumb idiot. Honestly, she deserved to be slapped for this. She cleared her throat, wincing out a little. "Can we— I don't know, take a rain check on this?" She proposed, looking hopeful that Brooke might still agree.
Arizona sort of wished she wouldn't.
But like she said, her head was all over the place — maybe she was just feeling everything right now, for Amelia. Maybe tomorrow it wouldn't feel like this, and maybe she'd learn to like Brooke eventually.
Arizona was at a loss, confused — she didn't know what she wanted, but Brooke was incredibly nice, and she genuinely did enjoy her time with her. She was someone worth having a second try with, but tonight was not the right time.
It'd be unfair for Broke, not when all she could think about was Amelia.
Brooke grinned, leaning forward to place a brief kiss on her lips. She ran a hand down her jaw, as she met her gaze. "I'd love that."
Amelia was still at her table, deciding on what to order when Arizona saw her. She sat there like nothing happened, as if she hadn't been crying for half an hour in the restroom. Amelia was caught off guard when Arizona pulled out the chair in front of her and took a seat.
"I'll have what you're having."
"Arizona, what are you doing?" Her eyes widened in surprise, looking as if her breath caught in her throat.
Arizona pursed her lips, eyes tracking every movement of a rather still-confused Amelia. She didn't know what to say, deep down she knew exactly what, but she didn't want to give the wrong impression. She pulled the menu away from Amelia's grasp a bit harshly, only because she wanted to let her know she was down for whatever this was.
Tonight was all about making her feel better. Making her feel that she mattered. And so, she decided.
"I'm your date." She responded with a soft smile, knuckles now planted on her chin as she placed her elbow on the table, looking right into her. "I'll be whatever you want me to be tonight."
Amelia scoffed, shaking her head as she pulled the menu out of her hand in an attempt to look somewhere else, "You can't even last a minute being in the same room with me these past few days and now you want to make this a date?" She asked bitterly, rather intentionally — and Amelia had every right to be mad. She'd hate herself either. "Plus, aren't you with Brooke—"
"Brooke already left. I asked her to go home." She explained with the hopes that Amelia wouldn't prod any further. She didn't want the night to be about Brooke. The blonde could only wish that Amelia would stop being so damn stubborn. Couldn't she see that she was trying to somehow help her?
Apparently, her response was enough to drag Amelia away from the menu as she looked back at her unexpectedly with a heavy-lidded gaze. "You didn't have to-"
"Not when you seemed like someone who needed a friend." She badly wanted to gawk at that.
The term was unfamiliar territory. The truth of the matter was, they had never been friends. Moreso, for the past decade. "It was solely my choice to end the night."
Amelia blinked hard, probably surprised that Arizona even began to pull the friend card on her. She bit her bottom lip, with her brows furrowed — sliding the menu into Arizona's hands, in which she took, eyes still locked on her. "You shouldn't have, but okay then."
"Okay, what?"
"Okay. Be my date." Amelia said rather quickly. She cleared her throat, as she leaned in closer, her voice coming to a whisper. "I haven't been one in years so guide me, tell me what to do."
"Pretend this is the first time we met. That means we wouldn't be talking about the past we shared together. Tell me about present you , I love to hear about Scout, and what you've been up to."
Amelia managed to crease a brow with a quizzical tilt on her head, not sounding convinced. "You're not going to even ask me why I left?"
"Tonight's not about that." Arizona inhaled sharply, trying to dampen how her chest swelled.
Of course, she needed an explanation. It was what she had been waiting for all her life since Amelia walked out. But tonight shouldn't revolve around that. Arizona was even more convinced their past no longer even mattered anymore. Nothing about discussing it now could change anything.
What was done was done.
Amelia said no. Arizona moved on, well at least tried to.
They were over the minute Amelia left her.
And what Amelia needed tonight was an Arizona who was not fixated and bitter about the history that transpired between them.
Tonight was a new Arizona.
No nothing about an unboxed ring and broken promises and unfulfilled dreams.
Amelia nodded, clearing her throat from apparent discomfort as she also adjusted her posture. She took a deep breath, and a new sense of assurance and ease exuded in her body. In a moment of relief, her previously tensed shoulders dropped slightly, her facial expression softening as she leaned forward toward the table. She looked slightly hopeful and Arizona thought that could be enough, for now.
"Okay. Where do you want me to start?"
