Well hello there I'm not dead at least as much as I don't think I am Yes I'm aware that you guys want me to write more of the Girly-card stuf with the bird of hermes tuff but that is also not my story and that was just for funzies an stuf while waiting for the original author to continue back an make more .
But this is my brain baby because I finally got around to watching Helluva Boss an some of Harbin Hotel guess which one I like more :3 but besides that I hope you guys enjoy an stuf
"Talking"
'thinking'
"RAGE OR POWER WORDS"
Side note none of the songs that eventually will be used are owned by me in any way shape or form Nor do I own any of the shows involved with this I wish I fucking did though
The 1st thing he noticed was the sound in rushing past his head almost like he was standing underneath the waterfall, The sound was soothing until he started waking to reality. The once soothing sounds now thunderous in his ear drums His eyes opening in adjusting viewing a black and red sunset of a sky.
His eyes open and focusing, the realization of weightlessness set upon him and the flapping of the burning rags and a necklace that still adorned him.
Falling. How long had he been falling an from where, looking up he could see a line of smoke the grew with his descent.
"Am...I burning " Spinning himself and righting his body he could see a large city down below that was getting closer by the second " Ah shit".
Bring his arm up into a guard and tucking his head down he braced himself to at least go through the incoming window and hopefully come to a stop on its floor Unfortunately he didn't realize just how fast he was still moving nor how dense his body was.
Blowing the hole through the window the floors he soon encountered held no better merely serving to slow his descent before he exited out the other side and bounced across the street into another building.
The impact hurls trash, racks an cloths into the air an through out the room, the windows are blown out or cracked by his sudden entry rats scurry an the homeless in the alleyways go running thinking a turf war was coming.
Smoke fills the room as a growling figure stands up "ow", tilting his head from side to side popping sounds could be heard as he looked around before he looked down at himself "... well let's not have you hanging out" an stepped out of the burning indent his tail swaying behind him.
Walking among the display racks that were left he grabbed black pants that were spiked an plated on the knees an were long enough for his Digitigrade Legs "There we go no use in being buck ass naked an lost".
Grabbing more items an getting annoyed most if this crap didn't fit until he found a display mannequin for a movie "well at least it's good cover" Outfitted with an a orange hoody under a black duster with strapped boots with claw slits in them
"ohh this shits gotta be expensive... oh well mine now" pulling the hood over his head as a searchlight stabs through the front wrecked windows "PCPD STOP WHERE YOU ARE" he dashes into the of aisles an slams through a door in the back before they can finish the order.
The PCPD officers give chase "fucken shit he's fast", a door came flying off its hinges wedged into the adjacent building as a large figure tore through the alley way "yup this woulda been way worse if I was naked" Without slowing Naru leaps toward him, twisting in mid-air an kicking off the wall as the cop fires an misses. Growling he snaps a clawed hand up through the barrel before the demon can load the next slug and snaps an falls into slanted clean cut chunks when he tries.
"... oh shi" a fist slammed into the demons face sending him into a dumpster denting it in an the figure took off past his body before he landed.
A ways away a small clawed hand fished a wallet out of a passerby's pocket snatching afew bills out of it an tossing it before walking away " Well Well its the first of the month for somebody" Snips said as he counted his haul for the day rolling up the bills an hiding them in his ear luckily his hair was long enough to hide his ears a bit too even if he got robbed what do you expect to get from a homeless kids pockets.
Now normally a lil fella this young wouldn't be far for either his parents or the adoption agency but unfortunately Snips didnt listen all that well an being stuck in that place with a want for parents and said rejection didnt sit right with him much.
He was on his way to his hiding spot getting ready to around the corner before a bang was herd from further up the alleyway as he turned he froze when his brain registered a large mass moving towards him like a freight train an a fear that settled in once they made eye contact slit blue surrounded by blood red an looking through him as if he wasn't even there.
A bullet whizzed over his head taking the tip of his ear off, a whine like a kicked crying puppy reached the figures ear as his head snapped down seeing the small hellhound holding its ear an blood leaking through.
"SIT STILL ASSHOLE" A growl ripped out of his chest as he slammed a hand into a dumpster dragging it with him an digging his claws in before he whipped around his eyes visibly blazing even at the distance they were at an hurled the weighed down metal container towards the PCPD taking out fire escapes and an afew AC units.
They scramble to get out of the way an afew don't make it as they try to regroup only to see the assailant was gone " ... fuck we lost em" one of the demons said "NO SHIT DAVE"
On a roof miles away whining could be heard a larger figure sat cradling the much smaller hellhound "shit... ok kid can you stand ?" Naru looked down at the kid seeing the blood had leaked onto his hoody 'meh ill get another one' the thought seeing the kid nod an gently moved him to stand.
"ok let me see the ear kid" at that Snips moves back an looks worried as naruto held up his hands in a easing manner "easy easy I can help" he says gesturing for him to come closer, Snips stands there for afew seconds before moving closer an moving his hand showing the missing the crescent "shit those things are really meant to do damage huh".
Rubbing his hands together a black an green glow shown from his palms an then he moved he hands to either side of the kids ear. The pain an ringing started to ease away to nothing an Snips started to relax "... I didn't know some of the overlords could be cool" he said looking up at the hooded figure.
Raising an eyebrow beneath the hood "sorry but no clue what the hell an overlord is" he said shrugging, "wait what but how did you do all that stuf earlier an the healing stuf an you definitely got shot like alot" snips said waving his arms around before hopping up on the bigger hellhound an seeing the bullet holes in his jacket over his shoulder.
Snips suddenly found himself lifted and held up with his elbows resting on red furred hands... wait red. Sniffing around the figures hands the scent was definitely bloody but hellhound none the less "dude did you dye your fur?" Setting him down the figure reached back an pulled his hood down showing scarlet red fur with pale yellow almost white tipped ears an a spot on his forehead "Nah definitely not dyed but yeah I definitely got shot earlier" he said with a snort as he sat back on the roof border.
Snips looked at him shocked " Iv never heard of a red hellhound before are you even from around here" he said before poking around his arms his fur feeling fluffy an smooth but his skin felt like stone underneath it.
"Cant say that i am kid" Naru says as he tries to think back only to be met with a headache thst made him squint one of his eyes "pretty sure i just got to ...where ever here is but other than that shouldn't you have been with your parents or something the hell are you doing wandering?" He said leaning his head back resting it looking up at the darker sky letting the headache fade.
"... im an orphan" 'ah shit' sitting back up an looking at the kid who was now sitting an looking at the floor, sighing "ok so orphanage?" "I ran away" 'ah Double shit'
"ok lemmy guess you live on your own in a shitty apartment or hotel room?" Snips looks up with a slightly strained expression.
"No... I live in an abandoned warehouse" the red wolf looks at him an blinks " How did you not get your organs harvested" he says with a raised eyebrow. "... Well I mean they've tried but I'm faster than the bigger imps and I'm still a little bit smaller than the smaller ones so I could fit in different places an hide" Snips said with a shrug before he was picked up an placed on the older wolf's shoulder.
"Yupp not letting you outta my sight kid" naruto said before walking to a less busy looking side if the building an pulling his hood up "my name isn't kid it's Snip an since your new maybe i can help you get around an stuf... do I even weigh anything to you" snorting "No it feels like I'm holding a bag of cotton balls... an im Naruto you've got yourself a deal squirt" he says stopping next to the edge.
"Ha you have a funny naMMEE!" was all that was heard as naruto hopped over down to the ground crushing the pavement when he landed.
Time skip
Cars honking can be heard as we look in on the IMP building, behind a cclosed door with a sign that says "Meeting in progress" on the inside there is a small group of... people? A single imp walked a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.
Sigh "Alright, now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here..." Blitzo sends a pointed look at Moxxie. yhe smaller imp responds with a"What the hell?" look.
"Now, does anyone have...any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?" Blitzo continues to walk around.
"What about a car wash?" millie asks the sweet an chipper imp that she is, Blitzo raises his eyebrows "This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? Ooh, what about a billboard?"
Moxie quickly interjects"we can't afford a billboard, sir", walking closer Blitzo says in a chipper voice "Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now" (shoves the hell out of Moxxie making him fly out of hus chair) "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"
Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona shaking a man back and forth in her jaws, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs.
By the end everyone is watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.
"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitzo says wipeing an imaginary tear, "I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches" Moxxie says raising a good point an being annoyed while at it.
"Uh, hey, excuse me. What's" moving his fingers to make air quotes "obnoxious about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!" he says with indignation.
"People love musicals, sir" Millie says chopper as allways, snapping his finger "Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams like my dad did?" Blitzo says with fake emotion.
Moxxie gains a flat look "Sir"
Being over dramatic Blitzo says 'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside", Millie looks over at Moxxie "Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie? shocking the imp "I!?-What!?"
"I thought I knew you" Millie playfully sticks her tongue out at him as Moxxie realized shes been fucking with him an rolls his eyes affectionately.
Blitzo driving home the emotional manipulation "I can't believe you, Moxxie" he holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it "after I made you employee of the month!"
"Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical actually likes the jingles!" Moxxie relents an says after giving into the plaque not knowing when Blitzo had time to make it so it might actually be real.
"I liked it" Millie said completely being honest, "Do not" Moxxie points at Millie slightly twitching "Do not agree with him in front of me!"
Loona who has her feet up and pretty much ignoring everyone and is watching a video on her phone of Moxxie getting hurt.
"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us therightinfo on the target. It's very simple." Moxxie says pointedly looking at loona.
"Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie" still not looking up from her phone an hurling an insult but not accepting the criticism.
"YOUsit! Sit on... a... and the... d- DO YOUR JOB!" Moxxie says having multiple brain farts while trying to think of a come back "Hey, now, we don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?!" Blitzo hugs and nuzzles Loona, who appears to strongly dislike his affection an him touching her face "She didn't do anything wrooooong" Blitzo says in a slightly baying voice.
Gaining a look of annoyance "Are you kidding me, sir? She'sawful!" Moxxie says an lists off the last few screw-ups an rudeness. From hanging up on millie after she got stabbed or stole his lunch... then hit him with it or the other violent outbursts.
"Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family" Blitzo says being serious an Loona looks up from her phone and smiles a bit, actually touched by Blitzo's words.
"We aren't a family, sir!You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!" Moxxie says ... not even really wrong about it but as Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off.
"That is offensive! Without homeless people" Blitzo walks over to window and raises blinds "I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Blitzo then puts his face up against the window, cracking it, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A female demon is on her cellphone and ignores the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.
"While we're on the subject of "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?" Moxxie says with a dry look at Blitzo."Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" Millie says trying to be positive, "Excuse me...WHAT?!" an Moxxie begins to rant about their dinners an and private times being invaded by their boss hell even their refrigerator wasn't safe.
"Just... stop...doing that!" Moxxie exclaimed agitated with the whole situation, Blitzo shrugs "I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?" He says in a slick tone.
Moxxies eye twitches in anger "NO!", across the table loona sniggered before Blitzo followed up "You baby-wiener-haver?"
"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally"stands up from his chair and points "INAPPROPRIATE!"
Millie lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder "Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!", he immediately snaps "I AM CALM!" he starts starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo as Millie kept comforting him
"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff" motions with his hands to imply sexual activity "you do outside work hours, so don't...judge... me!"
"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually!" Moxxie says pointing before Millie interjected "Mox, he's ourboss!"
"No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive...retarded" Blitzo says being a dick.
narrowing his eyes "Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?"Moxxie towards Moxxie "It actually does"
"The only reason you have a wife" looking away from her phone to glare at Moxxie "is because you're easy to manage!" loona says throwing in her two cents before millie slams her hands on the table, looking at Loona with anger "No he's not, you bitch!" an she flips Loona the double bird as loong growls back.
"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Blitzo says as loona snaps her jaws at millie in agreement "YES I AM"
"You guys are all fucking assholes" a sarcastic high pitch voice chimes in as everyone stops doing what they're doing to look a human child over on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to him.
"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!" Blitzo yells at the mouthy brat, "Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Moxxie gets says resisting the urge to drag his nails down his face as Blitzo chimes back in "Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit"
"Nobody was talking about that!" loona snapped as she could feel brain cells dying dealing with the whole situation, "Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?" Blitzo says trying to be the center of attention.
The mouthy child starts with his crap again "It's literal hell" he detaches the tubes of the heart monitor an stands up "having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now I want that. I want death!" he then shoves a finger at Blitzo "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm akid!We're suppose to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"
Moxxie taking offence an trying to stick up for Blitz "Hey, now! That's not very" the human cuts him off "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit" his mouth showing he's been around them wayyy to much at this point.
"That's my husband you're talkin' to!" Millie says defending her mox as the Eddie laughs at them both "That's your husband?!" Moxxie and Millie both snarl at Eddie as he continues, "I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick THAT bad!" then points at Loona "And you!"
Seeing she was being pointed at "What? What about me?" sounding annoyed an confused she hadn't even said anything
before seeing the little shitling cross his arms "Nothing I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person" he finished with a smug grin
Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone almost pouting, as Blitzo admits "Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit", nodding his head an agreeing "Yeah, after all. He's kind of a piece of shit" a ping sound comes from loonas phone.
"Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all!" she says genuinely suprised "Who?" her adoptive father asked confused as all hell as loona points at Eddie "Him"
"Me?" Eddie asked slightly confused .. an concerned, "Yup" loona said putting emphasis on the p knowing what's coming next "They wanted us to kill an actual child?" Blitzo asked looking suprised before Loona confirmed "That's what they're sayin".
Blitzo stands there shocked before smiling "Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God" He draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie hitting him in his chest cavity an painting the wall behind him.
They take their frustration out on the corpse as Blitzo and Moxxie kicking Eddie's body, Millie stabbing him, and Loona recording everything on her phone.
A knock on the front door to the office caught Loonas attention an she was gonna ignore it if Blitzo hadn't leaned over to her "Loony could you tell who ever is to fuck off unless they have money".
Gaining a flat look after starting to enjoy her day watching the mouthy little shit get his due, marching out of the meeting room an to the front office door before yanking it open.
" If your not pay..." looking around there was no one there "who the fuck still play ding dong ditch?" "down here" a voice said as Loona looked down seeing a small scruffy but fairly well dressed hellhound hell he probably wasn't even a teen yet but definitely a runt.
"...I know im definitely an only child... I think" Loona said narrowing her eyes at the pup before he snorted an continued "Believe me I'm definitely an only child but I am here to hire you guys" he finished in a chipper tone.
Raising a eyebrow at the child " What you want us to cap you parents for grounding you or oh did someone steal your lunch money?" loona said almost condescending, Snips gets a flat look looking up at the older hellhound "... no my uncle needs some bodies desposed of while he's out prepping for some stuf"
Looking kind if suprised at the aspect of being hired by hell hounds loona was interrupted before she could speak "look kid but this establishment is in the business of killing not cleaning" Blitzo says appearing from behind loona " so why don't you" a paper bag comes flying an snacks into his face "what the hell" "open it" snips interrupts him with a smile an raised eyebrows.
"oPeN iT we already shot one ki..." Blitzo goes quiet looking into the bag gaining loonas attention an she peaks in an goes wide eyed an almost drops her phone.
Blitzo looks back at the kid an back down at the bag "There's more if you can get blood out of the carpet" the kid chimes in in a hopefull tone.
SOLD
"when do you need us" Blitzo asked damn near appearing infront of the kid "can we go now?" Snips asks point a thumb down the hallway.
"Absolutely oh one second MOX MILLIE GET THE HELL OUT HERE"
The imp Van pulls up in front of a small building with a fenced off gate with a sign that says (All yee who enter here kiss your ass goodbye) the front doors of the van open with Blitzo an Loona stepping out before the the side door opens showing a sour looking Moxxie in a maid outfit while Millie wore the same but was destracted an currently cooing an scratching Snips between the ears, his leg an tail twitching with his tongue hanging out of his snout.
A snort left loona as she tried not to laugh but pointed her phone at him an took a recording of him while he was unaware plus she had to admit it was cute until the moment was ruined when blitzo opened his mouth.
"Ok that's enough screwing around you can touch kids on your own time Millie" gaining indignant an angry looks from the two imps in the back "Then hell/what the fuck sir" they both spoke as Snips fell out of the door an quickly got up now wearing sunglasses quickly looking around "... no one saw that" If it was a statement or a question no one could really tell as loona snorted.
Snips quickly walks over to the gate an pokes afew numbers on the key pad and it opens letting them enter the walkway to the building "Sir why do i have to wear this exactly" Moxxie said still annoyed an pulling along bags an buckets "You need to look professional an i for one will have you ruined out company's image" Blitzo said resting one hand in his lapel an the other pointing up st they walked through the front doors... to a small sea of blood an the bodies of demons an imps an the like.
"... yeahhh assassins tend to ignore the sign" Snips said with an annoyed look as he hopped around the clean spots not wanting to track blood any further into the house. All the while the IMP team stood still shocked before Moxxie looked up at the ceiling fan "...how did he manage to impale 4 bodies on to the fan with out knocking it down?" He asked more impressed then anything else at the moment, snips whipped around an clapped his hands together an pointed them "Dude I asked him that same thing this morning!" in an agreeing tone with his own look of surprise.
Blitzo looking away from the small mountain of bodies glad he smuggled the book with him "Who is your uncle by the way" he asked genuinely impressed with the kill count, Snips looks over to him still pointing his hands at Mox " Oh if you watch the blood dome matches he fights under Red Claw" he says with a shrug.
At that moment 3 pairs of eyebrows shot up including one tail that immediately shot up an puffed out in shock while Moxxie stared at the small hellhound "... The whaa?"
Hope it's a good read so far an kick starts others to wanna make a story too cause fuk it free time an stuf
