Mayford High School - the stage where another fraction of his humanity, his innocence, was razored away from his soul in an instant that also felt like an eternity – Spencer added it and Chula Vista to the list of places in his head he never wanted to see again.

"Babe," JJ quietly whispered as she brought him a new cup of coffee.

Spencer looked up at her, and for the first time since the explosion of the shotgun, the spray of blood and brain, and the quiet that followed until his team arrived – he smiled.

"Thanks."

The familiar lights and sounds of the BAU had begun to soothe his nerves, but the thought of going home was – unthinkable. He wondered if he could be alone, with the pins and needles sensation in his skin that heralded the onset of new cravings. He needed – he looked at JJ again as she sat down at an empty desk and studied him.

"I – " Spencer stood up and reached for his phone. "I need to make a call," he squeaked.

JJ nodded and got back to her feet. "I'll be waiting when you're ready."

He left his coffee to cool and hurried to the elevator. He hoped he wouldn't wake John, but – his sponsor always told him any time, day or night.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

One candle stood near the center of JJ's bedside table. Its golden glow nearly matched the hue of her hair, and its light threw a shadow over the bed where they lay. "Thank you," Spencer said as he held her tight.

"For what?"

"For waiting for me at work. I'm sorry the call took so long."

JJ rose to look Spencer in the eyes. "Hey, you don't have to thank me, Spence. You know I'll always be here, right."

"I know. I guess I feel a bit – I don't know. I should be stronger," Spencer insisted, his voice rising.

"Hey," JJ put a hand to his face and kissed his cheek. "Don't. You've been – incredible these last months."

"I – I can't get it out of my head," Spencer said, then sighed. "John said it would take time, and he's right. I know he is, but I still don't know how to articulate my feelings now."

"You don't have to know everything, Spence."

Spencer wanted to be angry, but his better sense forced him to smile. "I don't know why you all think I know everything. I can't possess all knowledge, even if I memorize all my encyclopedias."

"Hey, speaking of which, "JJ said as she laughed. "I tripped over your stack the other day. Have a bruised toe."

"You do. I never saw it," Spencer said as he smirked at her.

JJ shifted, sat up, and pushed down the covers. She held her foot up to him, and he saw the bruise on her littlest toe.

"Aw," Spencer said, and JJ rolled her eyes. "I would've seen it a couple of days ago had you not decided to kick me out of bed the other morning."

"I did because we were going to be late for work, and you're a sex maniac who needs to cool it down once in a while."

"May I remind you that you were the one that showed up at my place last week at nearly midnight because you needed me to – "

JJ lightly smacked his arm. "Stop it right there, smart ass."

They laughed together until Spencer sighed and pulled JJ back into his arms. "Thank you. I needed a good laugh."

"You're welcome. I can't stand to see you so upset."

"What would I do if you and I had never started this wonderful thing we have together?"

"I think you'd be fine on your own, Spence. You're stronger than you realize and the best example I've had."

"JJ, I'm –"

"Save it for the BCC, Spence. I love you no matter what you are, and I support you, always."

"I guess it's my turn to see the company psychiatrist," Spencer admitted.

"I think you need to buy stock in the medical field," JJ teased, and Spencer shook his head but smiled. "You might be right."

"You ready for sleep," JJ probed.

"I'm not sure I will, but I'll try. Tell me if my restlessness gets on your nerves, and I'll go to the sofa."

"Okay, I will," JJ turned to blow out the candle.

"You're supposed to say, no Spence, I'll stay here with you no matter what you do." He said.

JJ laughed at his mock-serious tone. "Hey, I need sleep too, you know."

"I suppose."

She kissed him and squeezed his hand in the darkness. "I think I can handle a little tossing and turning, Spence. Don't worry about it."

"I'll try. Love you, Jennifer."

"Love you too, Spence."