Emily was anxiously picking at her nails, her knee bouncing with an abundance of nervous energy as she waited for the doctor to arrive for her OB/GYN appointment. She hated this – the waiting, the invasiveness, the inevitable shame and embarrassment – she normally waited far longer than recommended between appointments, but given the fact that they were trying to conceive, she thought it best that she make sure there wasn't something glaringly wrong with her reproductive system.
"I'm sorry for the wait, Emily," the doctor said by way of greeting as she entered the exam room. She wasted no time in delving into her file, scanning the medical history she'd filled out earlier. "I see it's been a few years since you last saw a gynecologist..."
"Oh, umm...yeah," she stammered, "The last few years have been kind of crazy, career-wise."
The doctor hummed a note that didn't sound like approval. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you the importance of keeping on top of your cervical health..."
She nodded, but didn't comment.
"So, what brings you in today?" the doctor asked, setting about preparing the necessary supplies for performing a pap smear.
She felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment, though she really had no need to feel shy. "I, umm... It's just... I've been..." She paused, sighed, collected her thoughts, then powered through the sentence, "I've been trying to get pregnant."
"Ah," the doctor said with a knowing nod. "And how long have you been trying?"
Shrugging slightly, Emily said, "I don't know? I mean, not really? We haven't been actively trying, per se, we just haven't been preventing it." Seeing the expression the doctor shot her, she shrunk in on herself a little, feeling all of fifteen again. "I did get pregnant," she added in a small voice, "Not intentionally, but I, uh, lost the pregnancy."
The doctor nodded. "Alright, well, let's start with the pap test, run a few blood tests, and go from there."
Emily didn't think about her doctor's appointment for approximately the next thirty-six hours, as she got called away on the latest case almost immediately upon finishing her blood tests.
Thirty-six hours of blissful worry-free freedom.
But that freedom, as with anything in life, didn't last forever...
Her greeting was rather abrupt when she answered the phone, though she didn't mean it to be...she was simply stressed. "Is this a bad time?" came the reply from her doctor.
Almost immediately, she was apologetic. "No, no. It's fine. I'm sorry for coming off brusque – it's been a long day. Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine," the doctor assured. "Something simply came up in one of your blood tests and I wanted to update you."
In spite of the assurance that everything was okay, Emily was immediately on edge. "What, umm... What is it?"
"You're pregnant."
Emily knew she must've replied, but she couldn't for the life of her have recounted how. All she knew was that she stood rooted to the spot, staring at her blank phone screen for what could have been a minute or twenty until JJ's hand landed on her shoulder and she gently said, "Everything okay?"
Shaking herself back to awareness, Emily plastered on a smile and insisted, "Everything's fine." Though it most certainly was something rather South of fine...
