Chapter 9
"Remus! Wake up! You're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up!" A familiar voice called and Remus felt himself being shaken. He opened his eyes and blinked in the dim morning light. Sirius was sitting on Remus' bed, an expression of relief on his face.
"You wouldn't wake up every time I tried to get you too! I tried for ten whole minutes!" Sirius said amusement flashed in his gray eyes, "Did you sleep well last night?"
Remus realized that he had spent the whole night feeling bad for himself and sobbing himself to sleep… It hadn't occurred to him how much sleep he had even gotten.
"Yeah, I slept fine," he lied, going to take a quick shower before breakfast started. Remus never liked taking showers for long, because that would mean he would have to stare at the horrid scars covering his body… By now, he had memorized every single scar that covered his body, and his collection got bigger with every full moon…
"Are you feeling better?" James asked when Remus walked out of the bathroom. "You know, you didn't seem too good yesterday…"
"I'm fine, never better." He lied, but he was still dreading to go back into Defense Against the Dark Arts, in fact, he never wanted to set eyes on that classroom ever again.
Remus, and his three other friends walked to breakfast, most of the way there Sirius and James were talking about the upcoming Quidditch game, and Remus only added a couple of words into the conversation, but he still wasn't in the mood to talk.
At breakfast, Sirius and James ate ravenously, as if they hadn't eaten for a month. Remus stared at the food on his plate, and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to eat anything, no matter how hard he tried.
"Are you going to eat that?" Peter squeaked, eyeing the food piled on Remus's plate.
"No, I'm not hungry…" he admitted, pushing the plate towards Peter, who happily took his toast and eggs.
James stopped eating and looked at Remus, concern flashing in his gaze. "Remus you have to eat something…"
"I'll eat later…" he grumbled, putting his head on the table. Remus had to admit though, he was quite hungry, but yesterday's lesson had drained everything from him…
"But you barely ate lunch yesterday, and you completely skipped dinner…" James argued and Sirius nodded his agreement.
"I'm just feeling a bit off, that's all…" Remus said, but James didn't seem convinced, right when he was about to say something the clock bell rang, and Remus jumped from his seat, and ran to class.
Finally, Remus was standing in front of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, his heart pounded as he walked in. He settled down in the far back, where he was least likely to be noticed.
Remus looked towards the picture on the wall that everyone was excited about from yesterday, and again he felt sick to the stomach…
Professor Aubirth walked into the classroom, explaining the instructions for how he would access everyone on the defensive spells they had all learned.
First up was Sirius, who did the spells with great ease. Then was Sasha Monnete, who casted the spells pretty well. Then James went up and he also did good. Peter struggled a bit, but still was able to do the spells.
Finally, it was Remus' turn… He picked up his wand, walking over to Professor Aubirth. With every step he took, his heart began to beat faster. He no longer felt safe around him, in fact, he was sort of scared of him now…
"Ok, when you're ready…" Professor Aubirth said, looking Remus in the eye, with a look that seemed to be one of hatred. And it suddenly occurred to Remus that he had never thought about the Professor knowing about his true identity… What if he does? Remus thought. He knew that Dumbledoore and Madame Pomfrey knew, but did anyone else know?
"Come on, I don't have all day," Professor Aubirth growled impatiently, tapping the table.
"Oh! Right, sorry…" Remus said quickly, casting the first spell, which he did with ease, the second spell was harder because the Professor's gaze kept burning on Remus. Then the third one Remus couldn't cast at all because of all the dark thoughts filling his head…
"Go back to your seat, I've seen enough," Professor Aubirth ordered.
"Please! Let me try one more time!" Remus pleaded and Professor Aubirth just grunted his agreement, ordering him to cast the spell.
Remus put all his focus into the spell, but he couldn't cast in. He looked down guiltily, putting his wand in his pocket.
"I'm failing you, go back to your seat…" the Professor said, and Remus walked back sadly. Then, Remus heard him murmur something, so Remus listened in, "Why did I expect him to pass…" Remus gasped and hurried to his seat, burying his face in his hands.
He knows I'm a werewolf, Remus thought, and that's why he hates me… He probably wants me to fail… He probably wants me to do bad…
The rest of the day was as bad as the day before, James tried to make Remus feel better but he just ignored him.
In potions, the last class of the day, James threw a crumpled up piece of parchment at Remus. He opened it revealing a note. Meet me after class, I have something I want to show you. Remus suddenly wondered what it was James wanted to show Remus.
Professor Slughorn walked around the room, eyeing everyone's potions. He gave compliments to Lily and Severus who seemed to be quite good at potion making. He told Remus to try harder next time, and he just nodded, feeling ashamed of how his emotions had affected how good he performed in class.
Professor Slughorn dismissed everyone and James had waved to Remus, signaling for him to come.
"Come on, let's go," he said happily and Remus followed him with a confused expression on his face.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"You'll see when we get there," James responded quickly.
The two of them walked out of Hogwarts, then followed a long dirt path until they arrived at the west tower. Then they came to a staircase.
"After you Remus," James laughed, bowing down as though Remus was a king. Remus knew that James was trying to cheer Remus up, which was sort of working.
The two of them walked up the long staircase, finally reaching a place which James said was the Owlery. He told Remus that was where students kept their owls.
Remus was surprised to see how many owls there were, in all shapes and colors.
James put his arm out, and a decent sized tawny owl swooped in and perched on his arm, screeching occasionally.
"This is Hesper," James said, smiling, "I got him from my parents right before Hogwarts started." he began petting the owl, it cocked its head weirdly, and began hooting in content.
"He's cute," Remus said, "You two must have a bond." James nodded.
"Wanna pet him?" James asked, and Remus looked at the owl and took a step forward reluctantly, "Don't worry, he doesn't bite."
Remus walked forwards, looking at the owl's big, mysterious eyes. He pet Hesper gently on his back, and he hooted constantly.
"See." James said gently, smiling at Remus.
"Why did you take me here anyways?" Remus asked. Why the owlery out of any place, he thought.
"Well, I find this place sort of calming, and I saw you were struggling with something," James responded, watching as a black owl and a snowy owl flew together.
Remus was about to protest but James just cut him off.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask what's bothering you," reassured James, and Remus couldn't help but breathe in a sigh of relief.
"I agree, it's pretty peaceful here. Watching the owls go about whatever they're doing," Remus admitted and James nodded. They just stood there, watching the owls, and enjoying each other's company.
"Did Professor Aubirth do something?" James said suddenly.
"What?" Remus said.
"Did Professor Aubirth do something to upset you?" James asked.
"No? Why would you think that?" Remus responded quickly.
Suddenly, the black owl and the snowy owl circled back, both flying over Remus and James' heads.
"They're doing a flight of friendship," James smiled, looking at Remus, and Remus couldn't help but smile too.
The two of them stayed in the owlery until darkness was upon them, and the two of them began
Walking to their dorm, side by side…
