Sum: Dillan, the non-magical leprechaun, starts being able to do magic. It drives Anti-Cosmo absolutely crazy.
The class was absolutely quiet as Maria stood in the front, holding a single green leaf.
"You know it's called show and tell, right? Most people say a thing or two about their item," Ms. Magister mumbled.
Maria still didn't say anything, she just retook her place on the carpet between Anti-Cosmo and Blaine.
With a sigh, Ms Magister waved her hand dismissively. "Fine, whatever, you get an A anyway so great job I guess. Blaine, your turn."
As the leprechaun walked up to the front of the class, Anti-Cosmo couldn't help but smile. Not because Blaine, he couldn't care less about the luck twin, he was just was excited to show off his item for show and tell. Behind him was a giant white box that was a pain to convince Anti-Schnozmo to poof to school, but it would be all worth it when it was his turn. Unfortunately for him, his teacher saw the massive box and the eagerness all over her most troublesome student's face and immediately thought 'I don't get paid nearly enough for this.' He was going to be picked to go up last no matter what, and Anti-Cosmo knew that, but with only five students and plenty of time left in the school day he wasn't worried about not being able to show off his super cool show and tell.
"What did you bring in?" Anti-Wanda asked. She didn't care much about Blaine and the picture he brought in of him and his new fairy puppy, Zippy, either.
"I'd hate to ruin the surprise. You'll have to wait until I get to enact in the pleasure of our demonstrating and expositing exercise."
"Huh?"
"I'm going to show and tell so much everyone else here would wish they were disintegrated~"
"Wooaahh, cool!~"
Ignoring the anti-fairies as best he could, which wasn't that easy - they didn't even try to whisper as they blatantly interrupted his presentation, Blaine just kept talking about how they have a professional trainer volunteering to teach Zippy how to be a guide dog. When he eventually finished the presentation, it was obvious that Dillan was the only one even trying to focus on what he was saying, despite already knowing everything that his brother was talking about.
"I knew a fairy dog once," Ms. Magister said. "Gotta say, he was the literal worst. Do with that information what you will. Anyway, you get an A too, shocking, I know. Anti-Wanda, you're up next."
"Ooo yay! I brought in my papa's new cleaning thing~" Anti-Wanda cooed. Blaine was used to Show and Tells going this terribly so he just quietly swapped places with Anti-Wanda.
The second she got to the front, she started showing off a bottle of a new anti-fairy sanitizer. "He said it was full of pneumonia or something. And because two cleaning thingamajigs are better than zero, I put that goopy stuff that makes white things whiter in there and shook it up!" Anti-Wanda threw the chemical concoction into her mouth and started eating it, bottle and all. "Mmm~ Yummy~"
"Does it taste like mustard?" Anti-Cosmo asked half sarcastically.
"It does!"
Ms. Magister sighed. "Anti-Wanda sit back down. I can't believe I have to tell you this, but for future reference, maybe don't bring deadly chemicals to school."
"Awe… but it tastes so good."
Anti-Cosmo shrugged as his friend poofed back to his side on the carpet. "Ms. Teacher never said you had to stop eating it, just don't bring it to school."
"Oh yeah, you're right~"
Rolling her eyes at the anti-fairies, Ms. Magister pointed to Dillan. "You're up."
With a smile and nod he did like all the other students and went to the front of the room. Oddly enough, Dillan wasn't wearing a leprechaun's usual small bright green floating buckled hat, but instead a big green striped black top hat that actually sat on top of his curly hair instead of above it. He was hearing this long black coat with green stripes going down the side to match his hat over his uniform. He had a bowtie on instead of the school mandated ties. It was odd, but the class didn't really question it.
Holding out his hand, Dillan motioned for Blaine to join him, tapping his foot on the floor as he did. Blaine obviously couldn't see what Dillan was doing, but he took the hand anyway and went up with him.
"Hey, isn't that against the rules? It should be that only one person presents at a time, luck boy #2 already had his time up there."
"Anti-Cosmo, it's show and tell. It's not that important," Magister mumbled. "Do you want me to make more sarcastic comments about how you can literally do anything up here and get an A or do you get that it's meaningless?"
"I know it's meaningless, but I want to ruin Leprechaun #1's clearly rehearsed show with facts and logic."
Blaine sighed. "Have you ever tried not being the literal worst? For at least one day?"
Nodding, Anti-Cosmo smiled. "I did. It was almost two years ago now, but you were there for it. It was miserable, I wouldn't recommend it. Have any other comments I can destroy with facts and logic?"
Blaine just looked to Ms. Magister for help. Begrudgingly she sighed. "Anti-Cosmo, if you want there to be time for your show and tell you should probably stop."
"Fine. The faster this is over with the better anyway."
Ms Magister poofed up a table in front of Dillan. Usually he'd put his show and tell item down and use both his hands for signing the tell part of it, but that didn't happen. Instead, Dillan held out this piece of white paper cut out to be the shape of a 2D magic wand to Maria. She just started at it silently, not taking the hint and grabbing it, so Anti-Wanda was handed the paper wand instead. "How fancy. Look at this~" She handed it to Anti-Cosmo, who happily took it from her and inspected it best he could.
"Paper? What are we supposed to do with this?"
Smiling, Dillan nodded and winked at Anti-Cosmo. He took his hat off his head, showing the empty insides of it to the three kids in front of him. Anti-Cosmo tilted his head, baffled by what the kid could possibly be planning.
Next, Dillan flipped the hat around a few times until the hat was upside down and put it onto the table. Taking the floppy paper wand back from Anti-Cosmo, Dillan knocked on the table three times, signaling to his brother that it was his cue.
"Oh Fairy God Brother, I wish I had a rabbit!" Blaine said.
With a thumbs up, Dillan tapped his paper wand onto the hat's brim, making a 'Peew' sound with his mouth. Reaching in, he pulled a stuffed rabbit toy out of the hat.
Anti-Cosmo jumped into the air in astonishment. "W-what!? How!? Leprechauns can't do that!"
Anti-Wanda tilted her head. "I don't get it…"
Ignoring the anti-fairies, Dillan handed the rabbit to his brother and put the hat back onto his head, somehow leaving a black plate on the table that wasn't there before. Blane feigned excitement. "Wow, it's what I always wanted~ Thanks Fairy God Brother. Now I wish-" He pulled three gold coins from his pocket. "For more gold coins~"
The coins were dropped on the plate as Dillan gave a thumbs up. Putting his paper wand behind his ear, Dillan rubbed his hands together, showing they were empty. Then he put a new plate on top of it, turning it three times. With one hand holding the plates together, his free hand regrabbed his fake wand, pointing it prop, and he made a 'peew' sound again, and miraculously opened the plate to show six coins. He pointed to each one for visual effect.
"Only genie magic can wish for money. If your show and tell item is just a random genie this is the most brainless way to showcase that" Anti-Cosmo flew up to the table and started looking for the lamp or the genie hiding.
"It's not genie magic," Blaine said, "it's Scanlan magic. And I wish for one more coin."
"Pew~" Another flick of the paper wand, but this time Dillan reached behind Anti-Cosmo's pointy ear and pulled out a seventh gold coin, which he dropped on the plate, then put his hand in his pocket.
"Actually, I wish for one more, just to make it four wishes to prove someone wrong."
"Pew~~" And again, Dillan reached behind Maria's ear this time and made a new coin appear in his previously empty fingers.
That made Anti-Wanda's pink eyes sparkle "Ooo ear gold, my favorite! Why didn't you tell me y'all're keeping gold in your ears? I wanna do that too."
Anti-Cosmo floated backwards a bit from the twins. "Because we don't. At least I don't. What are you two doing? It's not fairy magic, nor genie, and """Scanlan""" magic isn't real. Naming a type of magic after your last name is stupid. Do you have a pixie working for you or something?"
"Don't you think you'd be hearing poofs and seeing gray clouds everywhere if it was?" Blaine asked.
"Well, you must be suppressing it somehow."
"How? With Scanlan magic?"
"Shut up, it's not that!"
As Blaine and Anti-Cosmo bickered, Dillan was rolling up his paper wand, putting it into his palm. With a quick blow of air, the paper wand vanished. 'And that was my show and sign. Thank you,' he signed off. He just started heading back to his seat, but a blue poof brought him to the front of the class again.
"Hey, you're supposed to tell about what you show," the anti-fairy hissed.
"No- there's literally no rules here, and you are not the boss of us," Blaine argued.
"I will be eventually."
Dillan jumped between Anti-Cosmo and his brother with an audible thud, hoping it'd get them both to stop arguing. 'If you really want I can redo everything.'
Anti-Cosmo stared blankly at Dillan then looked to Ms. Magister. Sighing, she translated. "He said he'd redo it for you."
"Redo it?... Yeah, okay. This time I'll be looking for your tricks and magic cloud suppressing devices and I'll expose your Scanlan magic for the fabrication that it is!"
"I can't believe we're doing this… but if Dillan really wants to then fine," Blaine muttered. "I wish I had only three coins again."
With a nod from his brother, the plates flipped, and coins poured into Dillan's hand. He then dropped three into Blaine's outreached palm one at a time.
"I also wish my rabbit was gone." He handed over the rabbit toy, and with a spin it disappeared.
From there, the leprechauns went through more or less the same motions. Blaine put on a smile, made wishes, and feigned excitement in the exact same way, it was a bit eerie how exact he replicated all his parts. Dillan on the other hand didn't quite do the same. His paper wand was gone and he didn't make pew sounds, instead he snapped and to show the 'magic' being done.
After a golden coin was pulled from behind an ecstatic Anti-Wanda's ear, Dillan signed 'The end' with Ms. Magister repeating it.
Anti-Cosmo narrowed his eyes. He didn't see or hear anything genuinely magic esk, but yet, things kept appearing. It made no sense. "No it's not, do it again."
"This is insane," Blaine complained. "If you want us to keep doing the same thing over and over it's not going to end differently you know?"
"That's what they say about challenging Anti-Binky and I keep getting better at that. I'm not going to let you win, leprechaun."
'Okey dokey, again it is.'
And again, the two did the same things to undo everything, and repeated the whole process. And again, Anti-Cosmo had no clue what their magic was. So they repeated it again. And again. And again and again and again.
Something odd that the anti-fairy noticed was that no matter how casual Dillan started getting with the showman bits, he still always did the exact same movements for flipping his hat and grabbing coins ears. With the plate flipping, it was always three flips to add coins, one to make them disappear. That was until Dillan got tired of repetitions and only flipped it one time for both. Something else odd is that, like the paper wand, Anti-Cosmo was given the top hat, fake rabbit, and coins to double check legitimacy when asked, but Blaine said that the plates used were made of horseshoes and are untouchable by anti-fairies. Everything had to add up somehow. He couldn't be bested by leprechauns- he would never be able to live that down.
'The end. Again. Give up yet?'
"No."
'This feels like an unstoppable force hitting an immovable object'
Blaine reached for his brother's hand to get his attention, which started reading his lips instead of Anti-Cosmo's. "We've done this 12 times now. If you haven't gotten it at this point, I don't think you ever will. Even if you don't quit, we do."
With a shrug, Dillan seemed to agree. They started grabbing their show and tell props. It was over.
All the props, all the movements, all the numbers - they repeated in Anti-Cosmo's mind faster and faster. If he could just be the unstoppable object that actually lived up to its name and blasted through an immovable object then he'd show them. He just needed to break through the stupidity his genius counterpart forces on him. He just needed it to click.
Suddenly, it did.
Anti-Cosmo pointed at Dillan as he headed back to his seat. "I got it! The rabbit was actually in your coat whenever it 'disappears', you slip it into the hat while flippantly flipping it around! Every time you spin you put it back into place. And your 'add and subtract three coins trick' is just you sticking three coins to be stationary at the base of this plate and turning a plate an odd number of times so the coins go in and out of being visible depending on if the glued coins are on the shown plate or on the ceiling! The coin magically manifesting is just you having two extra coins in your sleeve and hidden in your thumb that you move to your fingers when it's time to show off! The plate didn't magically appear, you just hid it behind your hat when nobody was looking and never moved it! It's not magic; it's tricks of angles, manipulation of attention, and making use of how nimble years of sign language has made your fingers! Ha! A 'magic' of mendacity, just like I said from the very beginning!"
The twins stared at Anti-Cosmo in disbelief. "You… actually got it?"
'Wow, good job dude!'
"I don't get it…" Anti-Wanda mumbled.
"Don't worry, the details don't matter, all that matters is that I was right, I was a proper 'immovable object' as you signed, and I finally can show and tell about my magnificent item and make the lot of you r-"
Just then, the bell rang.
Immediately, Maria jumped to her feet and ran out the door, presumably to find her parents. Anti-Wanda was poofed away by her sister nearly immediately too. The leprechauns were the only ones who hesitated, but they knew their parents and new puppy were waiting, so they left the flabbergasted anti-fairy floating there.
'See you tomorrow,' Dillan signed as he left, but it was left untranslated.
Anti-Cosmo was frozen in the air, staring at the ground, silently contemplating his life choices.
Ms. Magister sighed. "I would call that unlucky, but you did kinda make your own bed there."
"... Sometimes I forget just how much I hate it here…"
A/N: Wow, it's been… a while. Last time I posted I think I was still in graduation limbo because of a certain virus, but good news, I did graduate high school. Bad news, being an adult tends to not have much free time. But I do want to finish this story eventually, I have a chapter plan. Next chapter should be about Blaine, I thought that a chapter for each schoolmate would be fun before going back to just Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again.
To everyone who's still reading HUGE thank you! I'm glad you guys like this story~ And even bigger thank you to commenters, I love you guys, and would adore to see any thoughts on this chapter too. Rereading old comments and reading new comments on here was super motivating!~ And yes, mistaskinnyjeanz, that chapter was a direct reference to the Invader Zim comic, I was obsessed with those in High School when I was writing this. A future chapter I half finished in 2020 is also based on another Invader Zim comic.
This is slowly getting uploaded onto AO3 too BTW, it's exactly the same as here, although it's missing a few chapters at the moment. The Author name on that is PyroJuece.
