A bear always prepares for hibernation. It demands comfort to last an entire season. Our certain bear had finally found its resting ground while covered in silk and cotton.
Normally, waking up in a stranger's bed was supposed to ring alarm bells in Hikigaya's head but it was just the closest thing to the word comfy! He just wanted to sink in deeper and let the cushions consume him. His hands pushed the mattress and it pushed back in return.
It was like lying on the clouds, so much better than his old bed– his common sense returned and the memories of what happened yesterday surfaced through the clouds like an unwelcome flock of birds. They didn't chirp like pretty little finches but caw-caw like an annoying murder of crows. Speaking of murder, his head wasn't killing him for once but it was his ears aching from the noise.
He sat up. His phone– Yukinoshita's phone was ringing.
"So it wasn't a dream…" He drawled as he crawled across the bed and plucked at his temporary phone. An unknown number was calling him… but that was definitely his phone number. They probably should've shared numbers before they left, Hikigaya realized. "Yo…"
"Good morning." It was his voice: cold, calm, yet concerned. Was she out of breath? Hikigaya could only tell so much from a phone call. "It appears we are still switched."
He tilted his eyes down. Special edition Pan-san PJs greeted him. One day ago he never imagined he would have slept with a girl. Now he woke up with one. Technically he did BUT only technically.
"Looks like it. Uh, did you sleep at all?" Stupid question, maybe, but Hikigaya was not an orator or great at ad-lib.
"Yes. I was quite exhausted with all of this happening. And I'm afraid we're going to have to endure more today."
"Right. Well," He stood up from bed and loitered. "We're gonna have to meet up later. Plan things out for today."
"Sounds good. I shall meet you in school then–"
"Onii-chan! Are ya awake yet? Quit fooling around and get some breakfast!" A familiar voice.
"Yes– I'll be right down." Yukinoshita answered much more like she was in a formal gathering than he ever was talking to his sister.
Komachi? Komachi!
"Well actually you have to drop off my sister at school first."
"I see. Shall I walk her to school?" Yukinoshita was straight to the point. Hikigaya had assumed she'd panic but she simply agreed to his request.
"Yeah– we left the bike so you can' use that."
"You should have anticipated that." She lectured him.
"We shouldn't be anticipating any of this. Seriously, my life's already a hassle as is. Now I have to live yours and watch someone you mine." Maybe he was venting but right now that felt like the easiest to cool his head.
"Still. A little heads up would have done us wonders, Hikigaya. I'll bring your sister to her school early then we can meet up at the gate. I'll be taking my leave."
"Right."
The call ended. He let out a sigh.
The phone rang again. He groaned.
"Yes?"
"Could you give me a step by step direction to where your sister's school is?"
"... What am I, your gps?"
After that, Yukinoshita escorted Komachi with only slight misdirections.
—
He wasn't a perv. That was a lie – he definitely was a perv like any other dude. Hikigaya saw every man as a corrupt beast who willingly let desire triumph over rationality if it allowed for creature comfort. Only the steadfast and the pious are cut above such sin.
Hikigaya felt guilty and he believed that was a great motivation for men to go against their urges and run away from the problem entirely.
Run away from a woman like Yukinoshita? Man ignoring how bitchy she was, that was like running away from the idea of pretty itself. Well, he was a coward and this was the cowardly way out. Eyes closed.
He charged into the bathroom, showered his sins away, dressed up for forgiveness, and left her apartment in record time hoping that the gods above would not judge him. Hell, they put him in this situation in the first place, why judge him then?
Not important, what's important was he arrived in school ahead of the bell. Which gave him free time – and an opportunity to get a drink.
He walked to his favorite spot in Sobu. At one of the corners of the school was a vending machine that sold his favorite drink.
"I hope she doesn't mind me splurging her cash on some Maxx coffee… Eh, if she gets to live alone in a highrise like that she definitely has the cash for a little drink like this."
200 yen into the vending machine and out came his prize. Half a liter of coffee goodness. A quick squat and he was face to face with the holy grail. Grabbing it slowly like some ancient artifact, he noticed how thin his hands were handling the canned sugar bomb.
"Bottoms up… hmmm." He looked left and right. The place was empty like his friend list. Yukinoshita wouldn't mind… right? "Kanpai, Hikigaya-kun~"
He started chugging the can like a monster absolutely destroying it. He resisted a cough, paused mid-gulp but continued like nothing happened.
"That's a lot sweeter than I remember." He wondered if they added more sugar in their recent batches. He resumed drinking the sugary drink. "Sweet is good though. Really good."
He always had a sweet tooth, maybe Yukinoshita was the same? Or maybe like her other senses, her taste was sensitive compared to his? Whatever was the reason, it gave him a chance to enjoy maxx in sweet isolation. He finished chugging the can in no time.
Another 200 yen, another chance of sweet heaven. He chugged this one quicker than the last.
"Should I buy another?"
"No. I'd appreciate it if you didn't give me diabetes, Hikigaya-kun."
That was his voice– He turned around and saw Yukinoshita with her arms crossed. Her face– with his face– was sneering at him.
"Oh, sup. You were taking too long." He took one last swig of the drink before Yukinoshita swiped it away from him.
"My– Your hair is a mess." She reached behind his ears, brushing the frazzled mess he had left Yukinoshita's hair.
"I was in a hurry."
"Your ribbon is tied wrong." Even while cursed with rotten eyes, Yukinoshita was sharp as ever.
"I rushed okay."
"You forgot my sweater–" Her voice stopped. It hitched like a broken record. Chills seemed to have creeped out her spine like a glacier bursting out her nerves and paralyzing her either out of fear or shock.
"You didn't wear a bra!"
"Oh," right.
She closed in faster than he could process her claims. Like, yes he didn't wear one. One thing, he didn't know how to put one on. The more important reason, she barely had anything there to use one–
She was trying to shut his blazer up in hopes of hiding his mistakes but in doing so created a situation where if one passerby would get one look at them, they would get the wrong idea. Plus, getting manhandled this way was humiliating to Hikigaya.
"Hey! People are gonna stare! You don't want people to think Hikigaya Hachiman is having his way with the Ice Queen, now do you?"
"I wonder, Hikigaya-kun. Is that not what you did just now when you decided to go to school with half my underwear on?!"
It was a miracle no one was here to hear their banter. The romantic gods seemed heartless at times but forgiving in others.
"It was an honest mistake! I rushed out of your house practically blindfolded!" Hikigaya spread his arms, breaking free from the subduer. With his jacket off and sweat building up from the scrimmage it became more apparent to Yukinoshita how vulnerable her body was right now.
"Cover yourself up, now!"
She growled. He meeped. Her strength was greater than his, so shaking him was no issue. Giving up on even trying to salvage any decency in her original body, Yukinoshita allowed her emotions to get the better of her and harm it. Hikigaya's currently lithe form was at the mercy of her assault and he could only croak profanities no woman should utter in front of a man.
"I— fail to see how shaking me will help— uhoh."
The consequence was quick as they were boorish. Hikigaya's haphazardly put-on polo had split like the Red Sea, allowing Yukinoshita the view many of the Sobu boy's fantasized about.
"Woah." Hikigaya had been blessed by the gods that day. His face turned ripe red like tomatoes but not as red as the person responsible for both of the mess.
Yukinoshita froze. Her face blanked like a computer overloaded with info. It gave Hikigaya an avenue of escape.
The two disengaged. A tragedy had occurred for both sides.
He could not find the words to lecture her. His face rested in a pout. A disappointed pout that was meant to judge her character and inability to remain calm.
"…"
To the non-existent onlooker, it was Yukinoshita Yukino glaring at a clearly distraught Hikigaya Hachiman. Her eyes seemed fierce enough to plate dreadnoughts. Her mouth turned to a subtle growl akin to a bear.
"This is not what I intended…"
Yukinoshita whimpered, finally dropping hostilities. How could she continue to fight when she could see her own dishevelled self look at her with disappointment.
As Hikigaya finally covered up, he decided to vent.
"Never in my life did I ever expect to get manhandled by myself… by my own body."
He complained but still his glare was on her like a vise-grip. She choked as if asphyxiated by a hidden snake coiled behind her neatly tied tie.
"The only thing hurting is my bruised image..."
Hikigaya grunted.
"Dude, who's fault is that? Watch where you're grabbing next time. I feel like all those talks about me taking advantage of you are just you projecting."
"!"
Turning red from the verbal dispute, Yukino casted him aside and used the vending machine for emotional support in the form of some Maxx. Two-hundred yen in, and a bottle of caffeinated sweet popped out.
Well, he wanted in on this coffee break again, so he joined too.
Two big gulps followed before she let out a huff of hot air.
Hikigaya waited for her reply. The summer wind kept him cool and the airy skirt certainly helped.
They found solace at a bench. Yukinoshita sat with her legs crossed as usual but found discomfort thanks to unnecessary baggage. Hikigaya preferred comfort over form, slender legs splayed like a typical bear lounging around. Thankfully societal expectations were thrown out the window and a non-issue at the moment thanks to missing bystanders.
"We have to switch back." She repeated their aligned goal. Hikigaya slumped his shoulders.
"Got any ideas?" He had some ideas of his own but that involved a lot of headbutts. If they didn't turn back to normal after all those collisions they probably would have to live with brain damage either way.
"We get a doctor– a neurosurgeon and psychologist to check us."
He frowned.
"Bad idea. We're definitely headed for the looney bin if we tell them we swapped bodies."
"I believe it's worth a shot. My family has connections. We most definitely can get the best help for this." Her saying this so assured of her plans made Hikigaya's stomach churn. He knew what could happen next if anyone else caught them like this.
"No way. I am not becoming some doctor's guinea pig. I've seen those documentaries."
"You mean conspiracies?"
"Facts of life! I am not going to be experimented on, especially while in your body!"
"Hmph," again, she huffed but in his body it sounded gruffer than it needed to be yet sassy thanks to her own inflections. Her face had been tinted red and one could mistake it for anger. Hikigaya realized how haughty his original's body's voice would sound thanks to Yukinoshita's bourgeois upbringing. "Knowing you, you've already 'experimented' on me."
"I did not! There's nothing to 'experiment' on." He must have popped a vein with how angry he retorted. "And if it's any funny business like you seem to believe I'd do. I'll have you know that I was raised right by my mother and that the only way to take advantage of the rich was all in finance."
He was honest in this conversation. He hasn't taken advantage of her body… yet. Yukinoshita Yukino was a stunner. Hikigaya assumed she did part time modelling with how tall she was for a lady — close to his height. And he guessed much of it was thanks to her long legs which made walking to school an odd experience.
Yukinoshita had been paranoid but it came from reasonable ground. She was always taken advantage of by her 'peers' when it was convenient. And she's a favorite just by her looks alone. So of course she would expect the worst case scenario when a self proclaimed bottom feeder accidentally ended up in her body and she in his. She shuddered thinking about the consequences.
"What about you?"
"Eh?"
"Did you check my body out? Au naturel?"
"D-don't be absurd. We've just met. I didn't take advantage of you."
"Well, okay then. It's only been a day after all. It would be extremely callous of us to take advantage that quickly. Haha."
"Indeed. I'm glad common decency hasn't left your vocabulary yet."
"Why of course, in fact you could say I'm the most gentlemanly person to ever handle your body."
"Don't push your luck."
Yeap. He knew it. They weren't unhinged idiots who took advantage of this situation from the get go like some suspicious written works. Unlike those peons, Yukinoshita and him had discipline and willpower! So long as they got to their original bodies soon both of them could look at this as nothing more than a fluke in their late highschool life. That is if they return… but now Hikigaya was starting to wonder if they had to stay longer than that.
Something lit up in his mind and something alien reacted in — Yukinoshita — his current body.
"… Though what happens later on if we're still stuck like this? Like I gotta do things."
"What are you… oh… don't remind me… that's a problem for another time… You'll hear a statement from me should it ever come to it, Hikiscummy-kun."
"Human nature, or something but yeah, let's just hopelessly wish for the best."
"I know. Back to the topic first. What's your suggestion then Hikigaya to turn us back to normal?"
"We go back to the hallway, try recreating whatever caused this. Retrace our steps."
"Alright. Let's do that." She was comfortable again judging by the way she grabbed his forearm. She seemed to have a preference of dragging him around everywhere. Hikigaya now knew that whoever had the unfortunate role of being her partner would have so much of their freedom taken away from them. There was no way, in his mind at least, he would befall such a fate. Still, her dragging him away made him shy and partway through the hallway he dislodged himself from her.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"People are going to get the wrong idea seeing 'Hikigaya' drag 'Yukinoshita' around."
"I– see. Then there's definitely going to be issues if people just assume the worst of our relationship."
"It's not that tragic…"
"It's a nightmare."
"Ok, that we can agree on."
The school bell rang which meant they had to return to their class. Once again they had to play each other like roles in a play.
"We'll talk again." Yukinoshita declared. "I believe I know a way for us to interact without arousing suspicion from the student body."
"Hmph, whatever." He hoped for smooth sailing for the rest of the day.
—
It was Class J's turn to use the gym and already the students split into two groups of girls and boys. The boys, outnumbered, had gone out ahead to change into their gym wear.
What was odd, one of the Class J girls noted, was that Yukinoshita-san had followed the boys instead of staying with the better half.
She had to be corrected. One of the boy's blushed at the nonchalant way Yukinoshita stood behind them. Chances were the poor sod had inherited an early onset of heart problems.
Yukinoshita eventually returned to her seat. And instead of changing clothes she had sat down immediately as if in deep thought.
"Aren't you going to change your clothes Yukinoshita-san?" One of the braver girls asked. No one in the class had the stones to talk with their de facto head. There was just something about the young heiress's aura that froze the willfulness of a person.
"Y-yeah, I'll change after you guys finish." The class was so enamored at the young lady's lax behavior they simply obeyed.
The class J girls like a hive, leaving their queen bee Yukinoshita alone in the room.
"Sheesh. I thought they'd never leave." 'Yukinoshita' groaned. She began unbuttoning her blazer. and readied for the trials ahead.
"How hard can gym class be?"
—
Yukinoshita Yukino must have been a gymnast in her spare time because Hikigaya felt limber than a dish rag. In one quick swoop, Hikigaya had gone from standing like a twig to dropping faster than his dignity into a full blown split.
"That's a perfect split…" one of the nerds gawked from the distance but it was enough to make Hikigaya uncomfortable that the loner turned ice queen bent forward to lean. Back in his old body, no one paid attention to him. It was the perk of his 108 skills. Those skill sets did not apply to Yukinoshita– rather it was more blatant that Yukinoshita's skills would just attract people.
It was amazing though. Back in his Hiki-body, his posture was so stiff he got casted as a tree in the school play. Right now he was in a side split, twisting his torso side to side, and getting a good look of what this body could do.
So now? There was an increased number of people staring at him… not really him, more like Yukinoshita's body.
"Huh… So this is how it feels like to be ogled at… I'll take a loner life any day."
Yukinoshita did warn him about the attention he would get as her, but Hikigaya had not expected people would be this overt. As little as the boys were, their presence was felt by the loner immediately. He shuddered a glare and that elicited a response from the unsubtle group.
But the stupid stares of the dudes abated as Hikigaya began to feel daggers directed at the 'Yukirear'. Some of the girls were frowning but the rest were admiring her like an artwork. Whether that was out of jealousy or an inferiority complex was a mystery for the Chiba native.
They made no effort airing out rumors.
"She's got a model's figure…"
"Her legs are longer than you, shortstack."
"I heard she's got an agent hounding her into endorsing beauty products."
"I'd buy it. No questions asked."
He knew they were talking about Yukinoshita, but he still felt embarrassed at the half-n-half compliment and jab at him.
What did he do wrong? They were all doing splits - the only difference was people were ogling Yukinoshita and not them.
Shouldn't he be the one angry here? Well Yukinoshita-san should probably be the angriest but he reserved the right to be angry for her sake.
"Alright get ready for today's Physical Examination. We'll go through a general circuit and tabulate the data from there on."
Fun was over. He stood up as quickly as he dropped earlier. It was time for the next hurdle.
He wondered how Yukinoshita was doing? He knew she could handle herself but he hoped she had the inclination to avoid attracting attention.
—
ZOOM!
The boy's finished their sprint. Two notable peers ran a streak of blonde and black. No one could tell which streak of color was faster.
"Woah, Hikki's really fast!"
"I think he's faster than Hayato. There's aint no way!"
"Ain't no way, Hikios that quick… Do your best Hayato!"
"It's not a contest though, heh." Hayato rejoined the hive group as cool headed as ever.
Yukinoshita allowed herself a pause. She had deserved as much keeping up with the de facto favorite of Sobu High.
When it came to winning, Yukinoshita always delivered. She even managed to keep up with Hayama-kun. She resisted the bad will boiling in her stomach. Hikigaya's body didn't handle stomach aches well.
Even then, with a crummy body like Hikigaya, she refused to give in to mediocrity. If she had to be stuck as him, she denied being boxed in by his limits.
Her inner turmoil was interrupted by a pair of girls offering him a towel. Yukinoshita could tell from their eyes and rosy cheeks she may have swooned a few people here and there…
Yukinoshita believed Hikigaya wouldn't mind a few admirers, right?
Was Hikigaya doing well?
—
"Okay, that's enough! Great running form, Yukinoshita. If you keep up training and improve your stamina endurance, then I might recommend you to track and field."
"Wha— what? Gimme a moment—"
"I take it back. You need to exercise more. All of you." The coach declared.
"… I agree with you for once, coach." He mustered the strength to reply.
"Right. Well enjoy your lunch Class J."
What was meant to be a ten minute jog, felt like a marathon to Hikigaya.
He huffed and puffed air out like a steam boat. His hands had locked itself onto his knees. His back arched forward and his legs were begging for more air than his lungs could provide.
The girls around him were panting as well but they couldn't match his wheezes. They were busy chatting with one another for once instead of observing him and he overheard one of them asking her friend about lunch.
Lunch…
Yukinoshita's tummy rumbled.
He hoped her body liked Soba sandwiches.
—
Sitting down on his favorite porch just at the edge of the school courtyard, Hikigaya stared at his meal.
His smaller hands made his meal appear larger than he remembered.
Bringing it close, he gave the meal a short inspection. Bringing it close to his nose, he took a big whiff as if he was worried about poison.
Finally, his mouth opened up and chomped at the bread.
He didn't vomit. Lucky him.
One small nibble was followed by a bigger more confident bite.
Once again his senses gripped him into a trance. The texture from the oat bread lingered in his tongue while he tasted the savoriness from the stir fried soba. He let out a sigh, a smirk appearing over his delicate lips.
"Soba bread tastes the same as I remember, but where was my body to share the memories?"
Hikigaya took another bite from his sandwich but found his stomach content already. Yukinoshita efficiency probably translated to his appetite as well. He had guessed this was the tradeoff for such sensitive taste. That and being in a body possibly three-fourth his weight did not exactly need that much calories for the day.
He wrapped the sandwich back in its wrapper, and shoved it into his jacket hoping to eat it later. There was still time for him to laze around before lunch would end and classes would resume.
Maybe he could look for Yukinoshita…
He got his wish, as his own voice greeted him.
"Are you going to eat that?" Yukinoshita asked.
"How long were you watching me?"
"Not long… are you going to finish that?" She asked again.
"I was planning on finishing it later, but you can have it."
Hikigaya pulled out the sandwich and the girl in his body perked up. He spent the next minute watching his body gorge on it.
"…" If someone were to catch them right now, people were going to get the wrong idea. But, Hikigaya thought, it would be rude to interrupt a lady enjoying her meal.
So he enjoyed the cool breeze, the perks of skirts, and waited for her to finish.
"Thank you for the meal." Yukinoshita spoke up. "I underestimated your appetite."
"Yeah I figured as much." He overestimated her appetite after all so it made sense she would underestimate his.
"Do boys always eat this much?" Her voice was soft but it was clear she was embarrassed.
"I don't know. I know my body eats more than yours though. That's pretty obvious." He patted his now flat stomach. Not even a sign of flab. Maybe the girls at gym class were right. Maybe Yukinoshita was a model in her past life. "You don't happen to be a model?"
His screw must have been loose, asking her questions like that but there was no retribution or chide remarks.
"No." Her answer was brief as she finished the sandwich. He never noticed the red tinge plastered on Yukinoshita's currently rough cheeks. "I'll catch you later. I still have to prepare a venue for us so we can research for solutions in peace."
Yukinoshita Yukino left quietly, taking with her the breeze.
Hikigaya, left alone, decided to answer his own question.
"You could definitely be a model… but I guess that's too simple of a dream for you."
—
"Yukinoshita-san." Hiratsuka sensei's tone was playful as it was respectful. "Sit down."
"Y-yeah."
The buxom woman had long hair like he currently had and a pretty face that you could mistake for Yukinoshita's relative. There was this subtle refinement she carried that only keen eyes could appreciate. Were it not for her buxom chest, Hikigaya thought, Shizuka Hiratsuka may as well have been Yukinoshita's older sister— maybe her mother.
Just then, the woman in front of the loner sneezed. Loud was her reaction and unlady-like. She crossed her long legs after and Hikigaya mimicked her. Matching pairs with striking looks was the theme of the day.
Was this a game Simon says?
Then she uncrossed, he uncrossed as well. 'What am I doing? Rubbing Yukinoshita's thighs like this…'
This was not what he had in mind when he prayed to the romcom gods for intimacy with a woman!
Now his face turned red, and Hiratsuka let out a soft huff. She was pretty, Hikigaya had to admit. She reminded the boy of what Yukinoshita could be years later. Of course, he excluded two gigantic differences… somehow he felt his body recoil at the thought of lacking in a certain department. Was that Yukinoshita's subconscious seeping out or was it his dignity arriving fashionably late?
He shook his head. His hair fluttered across his face that he had to puff the damn tendrils away from his mouth.
Still, the teacher in front of him was silent, always observing with gray eyes.
The two of them were alone in the counselor lounge. It felt more like a pseudo tea ceremony than an interrogation. The table had snacks and tea for them to eat whenever they wanted. Opposite to him, Shizuka Hiratsuka ate one of the biscuits.
Hikigaya felt anxious, like it was his first day in school. The class F homeroom teacher plus guidance counselor of the school was never this nice to him. This must be one of the perks of being Yukinoshita. Everyone but Yukinoshita treated Hikigaya like royalty. Or perhaps, he was too exaggerated in his assumptions. Just a few days ago he was a bottom feeder where no one paid attention to him, now he was atop the mountains and everyone was trying to take a peek under his skirt… Yukinoshita's skirt.
This still did not explain the teacher calling him to the faculty nor did the woman need to take her time starting the conversation.
"What is it, sensei? Is there something you require?" This was his best impression of Yukinoshita. His chest jutted out with hopes of straightening his spine. He tried to forget what happened in the morning. Doubt began boiling deep in his stomach. His legs grew restless, which was a first for him as he began to tap the floor like a tap dancer.
His habits from his original body did not leave him when he swapped, so it was an effort to keep up this facade.
"I've been hearing rumors about you recently. Some are good and others are… interesting. How are you feeling?"
He gulped. Answers refused to come out of his mouth. There was a bubble trapped in his throat. He only answered after his short gasp which only made the teacher in front of him tilt her head in worry.
"Like… a different person."
A partial truth. He couldn't tell her he was actually Hikigaya Hachiman wearing the face of the most popular girl in school not only 'cause sensei would not believe him but greatly due to how creepy that sounds. Sensei might mistake him for a skinwalker though, if asked, Yukinoshita probably would say his description is not too far from that.
"Sometimes I take a look in the mirror and see a stranger."
Again, he wasn't lying! Yukinoshita is an anomaly. An anomaly that he had to perfectly mimic like an actor. He had no academy awards and his best role in school plays was a stout tree for crying out loud. Of course people would start to see the cracks in his facade.
"Hah, I figured as much! But that's just how growing up is — you tend to second guess yourself" Sensei declared. There was a sharpness in her eyes that made Hikigaya uneasy. It felt like she saw right through him, as if she was peering into his heart right now.
After all, Hikigaya knew he was summoned here for a reason.
"Is there something wrong with what I wrote?"
He meant the essay. The one he had mistakenly written his own name by accident. He had corrected it but someone had noticed. Sensei Hiratsuka noticed.
"Threatening people to suck a lemon isn't exactly encouraged . No matter how "flowery" you write the reasons behind it. When your homeroom teacher brought this up, I had assumed something happened to you. Why would Yukinoshita Yukino proceed to stop being Yukinoshita?"
Now Hiratsuka was making his head hurt.
"Um, people change?"
"Not overnight at least."
"I read a really good self-help book?"
"This feels more like self-destruction no?"
"I got hooked on bad meds and bad choices?"
"Now you're just being funny."
"I honestly don't know what you want me to say, sensei. And if it's one of your old anims I must have you know that I'm too young to know the references behind them." Okay he definitely knew some references having seen his old man's cd and tape collection but he assumed a rich girl living in a skyscraper like Yukinoshita didn't. "But I wouldn't mind some recommendations. My library is lacking."
Ah, he got carried away.
…
There wasn't a lot of entertainment in Yukinoshita's apartment. She needed a hobby, Hikigaya decided.
"Critical hit! I thought there was a quiet agreement between women of equal standing to not go below the belt? Also, I can recommend some if you're interested in some good shows."
"Cool, cool. Just don't tell me it's something ancient like uhh, OG Gundam."
"You definitely have to see the first one, haha. Wow it's sorta weird I never took you for a tomboy, Yukinoshita-san."
"Looks are deceiving… or some other famous saying." He was running out of words but at the same time he was nearly a home run's stretch away from getting away from all of this. The school bell was gonna ring at any moment—
"But you're also pretty bad at stalling. Now, I know why you're acting like this—"
He stiffened. His hands clasped at the hem of the skirt. The jig was up. He had to come clean.
"… Would you believe me if I told you I was actually a guy—"
"—It's so you can fit in!"
"… I thought we went to school to study first."
"But that's not what you should be striving for in highschool. You're here to make friends and maybe more."
"That's a plausible purpose, yes but don't you think making memories is equally important?"
She totally missed the mark but hit a bullseye at the problem bug that had been biting him all his life… Hikigaya relaxed, not sure why he was feeling relieved his little secret hadn't been found out. Now he could relax. He was sitting like a bear again. Sensei, her head tilted at her student's uncanny display of ignobility, took this as a sign to continue the subject.
"I dunno about that, sensei. As far as I'm concerned we're all gonna forget each other by graduation. At least the grades stay on print and I have to use them for uni. Then it's off to the salaryman pipeline."
Though Hikigaya guessed that wasn't the case for Yukinoshita. She would probably find a cushy job that would earn her six figures entry level thanks to her family background… Does that mean he gets to be rich? But that also means he'd be stuck as her…
"School's not all about papers and Yukinoshita. It's also about making connections and meaningful interaction. Which you're trying to do. I heard you made a friend." The teacher replied.
"I did? I guess I did." He answered. He didn't smile or anything. No way.
"He's from class F." He nodded.
Yukinoshita and him weren't friends. But to outsiders, they may as well be. Better than the alternative theories. Hiratsuka just smiled.
"He's a bit broody, but he's cleaning his act — I feel like he overcorrected. I've never seen him volunteer for board work but he's done it twice in a day. People are joking it's his job now. Maybe you can balance each other out."
Okay, now Hikigaya wasn't about to let his honor be dragged in the mud like that. He had to say something. But what about the statements against Yukinoshita? It wasn't his problem, even if he was her at this moment.
"I wouldn't call him brooding, more like he's realistic?" He gave his best impression of a girl impressed by something. He felt like he was treating himself as a trophy.
"Have you met the guy?" Hikigaya was that guy—
"No but I'm sure he's cool and stuff. Probably a real looker. A reeeeaaal piece of work." His arms crossed. So maybe it was wrong to use Yukino to up his rep. It's not like people would remember or care. The average attention span of casuals and normies have dropped in recent years anyhow.
"Definitely — from a certain point of view. And it so happens I have a favor to ask you, Yukinoshita." And now the stars aligned.
"So this was what she was planning…"
"Do you mind teaching a man how to fish?"
The bell rang.
—
Sensei Hiratsuka had left them alone immediately after Hikigaya arrived in this… supply room. This was the club room? He wasn't impressed. What impressed him though was a boy sitting at the window's edge, sitting all prim and proper like he came out of a fairy tale. Yukinoshita waited by the window and catching her in that view was eerily calming and toxic to his heart.
"It's nice to meet you Yukinoshita-san." She greeted him first.
Hikigaya watched his Hiki-body bow before him. Instead of returning the greeting, he waved his hand softly, like a girl. 'Whatever constitutes a girl's way of waving.'
"Uh… yo, what's up Hikigaya?" He let out a chuckle at his poor attempt at socializing.
Yukinoshita could only sigh but the boy turned ice queen saw the glimmer of a smile for a moment.
They were alone again, Hikigaya realized so he could relax. He did so as he sat, once again letting his inner Bear dictate his leisure.
"You don't sound like me at all." Yukinoshita complained.
"Well you're one to talk. I'm not a robot."
"… I was trying to be courteous."
"Hikigaya Hachiman doesn't do 'courteous'."
"Yukinoshita Yukino doesn't sit like that either. Seriously, do you have a condition preventing you from closing my legs?"
She sat back at her seat, her book in one hand — one of those heavier novels recommended by the Literature club.
"I dunno, maybe I'm feeling phantom limb syndrome right now. Have you ever thought about that?" He pulled out his own booklet — it was a raunchy LN with its cover hidden by a leather book case.
Creature comforts — that's what makes things bearable. Bears could hibernate to survive the boredom (and winter) but he couldn't (unless he had a coma). That didn't mean he couldn't find another way to pass the time. Pages were flicked until they reached one saucy illustration that Hikigaya just had to 'appreciate'.
His sharp eyes caught her puffing her cheeks in disagreement.
"Don't be ridiculous. Are you trying to goad me into another argument like earlier?"
Like a needle to a balloon, he decided to pop her.
"No. Unless you want to mess up like earlier, then leave me be, woman."
"…"
Silence. Finally he could enjoy the remainder of the day.
"Hikipervert."
He grinned at her. It was trademark at this point and consistently gross. But with Yukinoshita's face it was just smug.
He remembered Hiratsuka's sermons about youth and such. It sounded dumb like bricks but maybe it could pass the time? Maybe they could have fun?
"That's Yuki-pervert to you. Hiki-handsome-kun."
And apparently their version of fun involved a whole load of sass and turntables.
"Don't make my mouth tell such lies."
"I've stated nothing but facts. Besides we're alone as usual so your image is safe. What are we even supposed to do here? Other than researching how to turn back?"
"I'm sure you've heard Hiratsuka-sensei earlier or has your subpar hearing caught up to my body?"
"Okay I did but I'm not entirely sold on the idea of a helping club."
"I think it's a great idea. Helping people is something that is required of us."
"Are you running for Mayor or something?"
"That would be my father but if you checked my messages you would have known this."
"When did you send this— just now? Seriously? You expect me to read this wall of text?"
"Yes."
"I'm gonna go read my stuff now."
"If you let my eyes be tainted by your filthy novels, you will regret it."
"You don't have the guts to do it."
Slap.
—
A/N: So chapter 2 is out. Yay. This one had to be cut the way cause I didn't want to leave it on a cliffhanger but I guess that means more words for chapter 3 which is under construction and partially done.
Reviews are welcome, they help me gauge interest and therefore motivate me to try things or continue. Suggestions are welcome cus I feed off ideas like a buffet. Oh and if you have questions you can either hit me up on FFN DMs or the reviews I guess.
