Chapter 11 : Well Played

"Do you really trust the crow-in-chief to leave us alone, partner?" The Red Plushie Emperor squeaks interrogatively from atop the big rock he's leaning on.

I take a pause from my latest attempt at mastering Shave, actually relishing in the opportunity to take a pause and momentarily forget the endless source of frustration that is training this particular, One Piece inspired, brand of bullshit.

We probably should find another training spot, I muse to myself as my eyes distractedly catch on the clearing-turned-wasteland on the mountainside, with its various craters, upturned trees and gouges in the nearest rocky surfaces.

"... I don't know. The guy is incredibly hard to gauge. I'm inclined to answer with a tentative 'yes', albeit only for now." I end up saying after giving Ddraig's questions some more thoughts, "At least until the three biblical factions succeed in their parley. After that…"

I hum, before giving the Welsh Dragon a considering look.

"Tell me, how do I feel for a local?" I ask.

"Magic-wise? Like a mosquito. Now soul-wise? I'd say like a fresh High Class." He answers after a beat.

"So probably like someone that could potentially get smacked around a little if they showed themselves to be uppity and unreasonable to their betters." I slowly nod to myself, and the dragon nods back, "So he'll probably try to pull something to coax you to his side when he feels the opportunity is right so that I can't use you to threatens my way out of the agreement they'll spring on me, assuming I don't prove that I'm plenty able to defend myself beforehand."

Slowly, Ddraig's muzzle twists in a wry grin.

"They're going to be in for a rude awakening, then." He squeak-chuckles, guffawing, "I can't wait to see the realization on their face when that happens, ah ah ah!"

I wisely choose not to point out aloud that the Dragon of Domination has also probably started to see me as some kind of friend along the way and that there's a lot of scenarios where he'll tell them to get bent when they come with their proposal to him.

After all, nothing forces him to go along with my whims when he tags along in his plushie form to school, yet he does so all the same.

"Anyway I fully intend to disabuse them of that particular notion when someone comes knocking." I add with a slightly predatory grin, "It's one thing to dunk on rogue exorcists and Two-Winged Fallen Angels, it'll be another to do the same on hundreds of High Classes without a scuff mark to show for it."

"What are you- Ah." Ddraig starts asking, before getting my point, "You think Kokabiel will show up sooner than later."

"I think so, yes." I answer with another nod, "Kuoh's too juicy of a target for a warmonger that has been going stir-crazy for the last six hundred years. I don't see him backing down even after he got outed so soon. Worse, I think he's going to rush things, which makes him both predictable and not. I have no clue if he'll organize the theft of the Excalibur fragments beforehand then meticulously prepare, or just do a full blown suicidal attack to alpha-strike Rias and Sona instead of playing with his food while evily monologuing."

"... Let's hope it's not the second one, then." The Welsh Dragon drawls, "I'd rather the bats and crows can still communicate with each other when the Trihexa inevitably gets unsealed. I'm not too prideful not to admit that I'd rather have more allies than just you to kill that thing."

I snort a slightly bitter laugh.

"Preach, partner." I grin back his way.

"So, nothing changes?" He asks.

"Nothing changes." I answer easily, my smile firmly on my face, "I'm still going to train and better myself, no matter what happens. And one day, I'll be the freest!"

The Red Plushie Emperor squeak-chuckles before falling silent as he lays his reptilian head and his forelegs.

I get back in the game, focusing on my legs.

OneTwoThreeFourFive-

I start kicking against the ground rapidly with my right leg.

-SixSevenEi-'Crack'-"Put-"Fu-

The ground caves under my feet and I instantly faceplant with an 'oof!'.

I distantly acknowledge that the local dragon seems very amused by my current predicament as I step back up while rubbing my aching palms together.

Turns out? My constitution makes mastering Shave unreasonably difficult.

Oh, I have the raw stats alright, but that's the actual problem. There's such a thing as actually being too strong and living in a world of not-quite-cardboard-but-close-enough, and I have some difficulties toning my strength down enough so that the ground under my feet doesn't instantly give out on me when I stomp on it ten times in a row!

Finding the correct balance between going for raw speed - through explosive strength - and not being a walking, talking OSHA violation is an art, let me tell you. I've been trying for an hour each day for the past week before throwing hands with Ddraig, and I'm infinitely proud of the fact that I can now go over six successive stomps one hundred percent of the time!

"Yeah, yeah laugh it off." I grumble while wiping dirt out of my face and hair for the nth time today, "I'll have the last laugh soon enough, trust me on that."

"Oh, as nonsensical as this whole thing is, I totally believe you." The Red Plushie Emperor idly comments, "That's why I'm enjoying the fun while it lasts, partner."

I throw a scowl his way as I move out of the crater I left in my doomed attempt, before closing my eyes in concentration to try again.

OneTwoThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNi-'Crack'!

… This is going to take a while and I just know it.


My continued failure at achieving proper three-dimensional mobility aside, I was in a good mood as I walked toward Kuoh High the following Monday morning.

The reason why? The extra bag I had brought along with me and which a certain Red Plushie Emperor kept grumbling about.

"I still don't like it!" He squeak-whispers in barely hidden annoyance.

"Oh, don't be like that." I answer amusedly while giving his reptilian head a side-glance over my shoulder, "It's not like you're going to have to live with it."

He harrumps, an incredibly cute gesture on his little derpy face, and I have to stop my lips from wobbling in schadenfreude.

"You could have chosen another model." He points out with a 'fierce' scowl.

I giggle a bit at that, before smothering my amusement as his glare narrows.

"And I told you it's not what you think it is." I deny for the nth time.

"And I'm not believing you in the slightest." He squeak-snaps in return, "This is way too convenient for it not to be a deliberate choice."


"Eeeee! It's so cute!" Momo squeals in delight while clutching her blue-eyed, white dragon plushie, handcrafted by yours truly, rubbing her head against its little triangular own, "And so soft too!"

"Kawai." Yuki utters simply, her phone - for the first time ever since I met her - not being in her hands while she clutches her own red eyed, black counterpart, the ghost of a smile on her face.

Did I absolutely rip-off Yu-Gi-Oh! because I wanted to meme and found the idea genuinely funny?

Yes.

Did I also do that because it allowed me to mess with a certain Red Emperor Plushie a little by giving his favored 'belly rubing female' what is basically a carbon-copy of Albion?

Also yes.

Will I deny it to my last, dying breath?

Of fucking course, I can already feel the angry glare he is giving me from his hiding spot in my backpack!

"Ma Ma!" I chuckle happily, "Je suis trop contente que vous les aimiez!"I'm so happy you like them!

My smile turns a bit more awkward as two looks of confusion are aimed straight at me, our surrounding classmates watching the spectacle either curiously, enviously or bemusedly.

"Erh, I mean to say-"

"We get it." Yuki cuts me, blinks, tilts her head to the side while looking toward Momo, "At least I think we do?"

"Ano, maybe?" The latter answers while clutching protectively her 'I-swear-it's-not-Albion'-plushie closer to her chest.

Our little trio pauses, before giggling in concert.

And if the Welsh Dragon quietly grumbles while swearing about 'going extra-hard for our next spar', I studiously ignore it.


I take the scene happening in front of my eyes in the cafeteria.

My body stops, my mind blanks, my brain shuts down.

"Ano, Linlin-san?" Momo asks next to me, peering at me curiously, her new plushie still in her hands, "Is everything alright?"

Everything promptly reboots.

"... I need to make a phone call." I answer after a beat, "I'll be back shortly. Keep me a seat?"

"Ano…" The brunette hesitates, eyes darting between Yuki and I.

"Sure." The latter says, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder.

I beam a smile their way while telling the both of them a quick merci beaucoupThank you very much, then promptly about-face to make my way outside.

It doesn't take long for me to get outside of the cafeteria, less than a minute tops.

"What's happening?" The Red Plushie Emperor whisper-squeaks from behind my shoulder as soon as we're relatively isolated and away from the crowd.

"That's what I want to know. Gimme a sec." I answer mechanically, already fishing out my cell phone out of my bag, quickly flipping through my contact to dial a number I added very recently.

The dial tone rings once, twice-

"Azazel speaking." To his credit, the Fallen Angel answers his private line quickly.

"It's Marie-Charlotte Linlin. You said to call if I had a question." I start without a preamble.

"Ah! Marie-Charlotte! And of course, you can. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asks enthusiastically, and I can almost feel his interest peaking through the phone line.

"There's a nun speaking in halting Japanese with Gremory's latest Pawn in my school's cafeteria right about now." I drawl flatly, "I'd like to know if you have any intel on that."

"Ah, you could tell? Impressive." As if I could ever forget the ball of sunshine and optimism that is Asia Argento.

Or the fact that she is a natural Dragon Tamer.

I think I found dear Azy's hook for Ddraig if he ever feels the need to cut the grass under my feet.

"See, it's a little embarrassing." The Governor General of the Grigori starts, "Her presence here is mostly due to an administrative error, of sort. It's a long story."

"I have time." I answer, just as flatly as before.

The Fallen Angel starts to weave me a tale about Asia's tragic backstory, about how she got kicked out of the Church because she's both too naive and kind-hearted, and her sort-of falling off the radar with the Kokabiel incident and nobody being here to pick her up when she managed to find her way into Kuoh proper where she was supposed to join the observation team.

"The Hyoudou kid apparently stumbled upon her two days ago while the poor thing was quite lost, and they quickly sympathized. In a bid to improve the diplomatic relationships between the Fallen Angel and the Devil factions, I elected to allow her to remain in Kuoh, where she made her first friend outside of the Church with Serafall's approval." He ends his quick account of the chain of events.

… It sounds so fucking oddly convenient to my ears that I don't even have the heart to call him on his bullshit.

No matter, Asia certainly isn't to blame for Azazel's machinations, and I'm not in a position to judge her striking an unlikely friendship with the local oddly sympathetic Devil pervert.

Doesn't stop me from pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

It's not like I can do anything about this situation in the-

I blink, before a devious smile slashes its way across my face.

I take a solid second to leash my emotions back under control, before speaking once again.

"This story reminds me of a rumor I heard a while ago." I start, a bit airily.

"Gossip? I live for those." Azazel humors me.

"Weird echoes, mostly." I hum aloud, "About how the Astaroth scion's peerage seems to be composed almost exclusively of excommunicated Holy Maidens. Who just happened to fall from grace with the Church in oddly convenient circumstances for a recruitment afterward. Like, say, meeting an injured Devil on consecrated grounds who bypassed an entire contingent of exorcists, somehow."

The pause that follows at the other end of the line is a rather pregnant one.

"... I see." The leader of the Fallen Angel answers with a rather bland tone, "It seems I have a call of my own to make. We'll be in touch."

The call ends abruptly, and I can't stop the little victorious smirk that upturn my lips.

"I feel like I missed a substantial amount of subtext here." Ddraig squeaks quietly, and I can almost feel his button-eye digging a hole in my head as his curiosity peaks.

I chuckle lightly while putting away my phone.

"Asia Argento is a Holy Maiden, wielder of Twilight Healing." A soft whistle is all the answer I need for me to know that the Welsh Dragon is at least aware of this particular Gear and its importance, "And Diodora Astaroth belongs firmly in the category of Devils who give the species a really bad rep. Worse even, he is family to the current Belzebub. Now, I want you to imagine if his particular obsession with corrupting, mindbreaking and raping Holy Maiden - who would have otherwise been in good standing without his machination and some officials taking bribes - got exposed while the three biblical factions have never been closer to sign a peace treaty."

"I'd believe it would be quite the spanner in the works." He 'muses' sarcastically.

"Quite so." I drawl back while making my way back inside.

"But you didn't do that just to prevent a diplomatic crisis, no?" He asks.

"Well, no." I agree with a hum, "I did it because the little cinnamon roll deserves better than to be preyed upon by an absolute asshole, her status as a natural born Dragon Tamer potentially maneuvered into finding her way into Kuoh City by the crow-in-chief none withstanding - which I refuse to believe is a coincidence - but also because it allows me to kill two birds with one stone."

"Meaning?"

"I gave Azazel work to do and he is going to hate it." I shamelessly admit with a grin.

A pause.

Ddraig starts snickering and only manages to calm himself once we're back into the cafeteria proper.


The doorbell ringing as I'm making dinner that evening makes me frown, and I gesture at Ddraig to keep it quiet for a beat as I put down my wooden spoon before making my way toward the door.

I take a look through the peephole and manage only through an enormous effort of will to stop myself from bursting out laughing.

I unlock said door, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile as I lay eyes on an incredibly annoyed Governor General of the Grigori who not-quite throws a bottle in my grasp.

"Well played." He tells me simply, before disappearing into a magic circle.

I chuckle, before closing the door behind me and making my way back to my kitchen.

"Azazel?" The Red Plushie Emperor asks while being lazily sprawled on the countertop.

"Azazel." I confirm with an amused smile, "I think he didn't really appreciate the extra workload."

I give the bottle a glance, my eyes widening slightly and mouth opening in delight.

"... Or maybe he did, actually." I whistle softly. "A bottle of Zacapa XO Centenario, now that's the good shit!"

"After seeing your memories, I think I'm absolutely not ready to see you drunk." Ddraig deadpans.

"I'd rather not as well, Mistress." Senketsu chimes in his posh tone.

I scoff, before putting the bottle to the side with all the reverence it deserves.

"Please, you philistines, this is the kind of drink you savor. I'm not about to down the bottle in one sitting."

I still ended up drinking a good fifth of it that evening in celebration of getting one over the Scapegoat, though.

[AN: Surprise!Asia shows up, and I didn't even had to bend the plot that much, ueueueue!

Sometimes, my genius, it scares me.

Hope you enjoy, xoxo!]