Hi everyone :) liking writing this one so far, here is some of Trevor's backstory and also some of Olivia's and some trust finally forming :) Let me know what you think!


"Come on, get up over here," Trevor sighed with a little smile. He was tired of the fight and wanted the company as much as she did. She stared at him for a second, the whites of her eyes suckering him in even more. "Aww Rubes don't look at me like that, come on, I said you could…" he patted the spot on the couch beside him, "you're lucky you've just had a haircut," he added as his 6 month old Golden-doodle jumped aboard, looking at her owner with satisfaction and affection.

Trevor patted his legs and let the dog move in to his lap until she got herself comfortable. She plonked down resting her head on his chest, looking up at him with loving eyes.

He pet her fluffy head gently, smiling back at her. She really was a bit of a lifeline, he thought. Despite still feeling the pinch of loneliness, Ruby allowed him to feel needed and loved even when he was having a hard time. He had fallen in love so fast with her despite being skeptical but his shrink promised the company might be good for him.

"If you could have met your precious dog Mama, you would have loved her as much as I did," he chatted to Ruby who stared at him, her eyes pricking up, cocking her head to-and-fro as if she understood his rambling, "she wanted a doggie daughter like you so much," he replied, feeling himself grow misty-eyed. "But nope, I was being an asshole and wouldn't afford her a pet… and now look at me. I'm a giant hypocritical asshole, good enough for me but apparently I couldn't let it be something for her."

Ruby turned as if at the right time, her back to him, resting her head on his knee.

"Yep, I agree," he sighed.

He thought about Noah and his injuries and how his mother had met him in the street. He was going to stop, but he'd had a car behind him and there was nowhere to pull over on their busy street. He knew if the teen's behaviour kept on, he was probably going to need to involve her, but for now he was trying his best to take him under his wing.

There was an anger inside of him that hadn't quite bubbled over, but it was simmering within him and Trevor could see it a mile away and wanted to help him harness it and use it for something positive, the way that he had to learn to. Because, after the rage exploded, there was nothing; nothing mattered and everything became bleak and had no purpose anymore and then everything went downhill.

He knew if Noah got to that point, he would begin making poor decisions to numb whatever was causing his pain until he couldn't take them back.

He remembered his own pain; the heavy drinking, the shouting at his reflection and the night he swallowed lorazepam and when he didn't feel it working fast enough, he swallowed a couple of diazepam and then he was dizzy and impaired enough to chase it all down with straight bourbon and Xanax.

He had flashes of memory from that night: of screaming out with self-hatred, smashing things, tossing frames in to the open flame of the fire that he'd insisted on having in the living room, grief striking him, his heart hammering against his chest and then moments of wondering if this was the end— if he was soon to be reunited with Lana after a short year without her.

He woke up in hospital, narrowly avoiding a psych hold because of the grace of his sister— the nurse; the one who had introduced him to her gorgeous co-worker who he believed would be his forever.

She knew a psychiatric hold would put his career on the line so she had pulled some strings.

Raia, his sister, was bereft as well; for months she had been begging and pleading with her brother to get some help, but she knew she couldn't make him do something that he wasn't ready to do. She moved him back in with her for awhile, away from the house that was filled with the presence of his late wife. He agreed and he was required to see a shrink once a week until the shrink deemed him safe.

He had protested it all — only mad that he wasn't with his wife — that she wasn't still alive. The tragedy of time stealing her from him was something he was unsure would ever leave him, but still, he persisted. He had no choice and instead he put energy in to his students, he felt like he was forever needing to apologise to his sister and his parents but still…

The wound never seemed to heal. It got a little easier with time and with a new home and new company, but the loss and guilt around Lana's accident seemed to engulf him at times when he found himself beginning to enjoy life.

He had even managed to date for awhile until he conceded that he just wasn't quite ready; that it wasn't fair to another woman. He had a short-term thing with a cute blond who, on paper was everything that he wanted— but it just never felt right and after every night they spent together he was left feeling rife with shame and guilt like he'd done something wrong — that he'd betrayed his wife somehow.

Elise was patient with him, he had been open with his past as she had too — she consoled him even when he didn't realise he needed consoling and she knew how to give him his space too. He felt regretful when he realised it wasn't going to work - she had expected it but was hopeful that he could move on with her. They left each other on good terms, but he knew at that stage it was time to stop trying to push himself in to moving on.

Ruby was the next step and he fell in love with her easily. She was the happy face he woke up to and the happy face he went to sleep to; the one who was happy just to be touching him and to have him within her line of vision.

She was the only woman in his life and despite how much his sister and mother pushed, he didn't really want to meet anyone else. He wanted to dedicate his time to recognising behavioural issues in his students and helping them in ways which might not have been the way talk therapists worked through things, but he wanted to be practical and wanted to be someone that his students could trust to be on the look out for their future.

It was no secret to any of the faculty what Noah Benson had been through, who his mother or what she had been through but he didn't let that colour his view of the child. He struck him before his trouble began. Noah was well-mannered, friendly to everyone, kind to a fault. He remembered having to caution him for giving away too much at exam time because he wanted everyone to do well.

He was especially sweet to Sharmila, the sweet, barely verbal girl in a wheelchair with Cerebral Palsy. He spoke to her like a person as if her disability wasn't a communication barrier. He joked with her and laughed with her and often helped her with her things and offered to wheel her to her next class or in to class, acting as if the integration aid didn't exist.

He knew Sharmila loved the attention and loved every second of being treated like a peer rather than a fixture of the classroom to fill a quota of diversity.

Something had definitely shifted.

/

"Do you know, Noah, you have increased your speed since we started by almost 5 seconds?" Trevor informed him with a smile, "you should be proud; your fitness has increased tremendously."

Noah just shrugged.

"Did you ever think about joining the track team?," Trevor pressed.

"No, I don't think about joining any team much less this one. I just turn up to do what I have to do to get my grades up and then I go home," he replied.

"Okay, that's fair. How's your essay going? Do you need me to look it over?"

"Maybe… I still don't really understand what I did wrong in the first place…"

"That's okay, formatting essays is the trickiest part but I promised I'd help you and I will, we'll get you across the line and then I can help you on the last one, but I need some commitment here too."

Noah glowered at his coach in his red team cap, a whistle around his neck and the team's jersey on - for morale… or whatever, he thought. So far, Noah hadn't even been given a jersey and he was okay with that. He didn't want one. "And what do I get out of committing to this team?"

Trevor thought for a second, "you get to be part of a team, you get me, someone who will always be here to support you and help you with whatever you need…. And you get to not flunk out of school."

"I still don't understand why you give a sh- a crap about me or anyone else on this team," he blurted out.

"Looks good on my resume," he winked at Noah, allowing him to know he was kidding. "But that's a loaded question and maybe I'll be better prepared to answer it one day when I'm not about to start harassing you to get out on the field and start getting better at catching some footballs."

"What do all these goofballs do between when school ends and coming here?" Noah asked, looking around. It wasn't quite 4 yet, but it only took Noah ten minutes to walk from his last class to the field.

"Who knows? Maybe they stay back and do their homework," Trevor joked with a straight face. Even Noah saw the humour in that and laughed.

"How'd your Mom feel about your blood nose the other night?," he wanted to know, "do I need to call and explain things?"

"No, she flipped at first but I explained and she was annoyed but she's fine. She just wasn't happy with me getting back so late. My phone got smashed when I fell so I didn't see her calls."

"Is your phone fixed?" Trevor asked, "because I can report that to Mr Pearlman, you can follow that up."

"No, it's fine. I've got a new phone," he fibbed. He had found his old one in the bottom of a drawer and was thankful it still worked. The charge wasn't great, but it worked and he didn't have to explain to Olivia why the phone he'd begged for for his birthday a few short months ago was now essentially a useless piece of scrap metal.

"Mom must be very generous," Trevor replied. "Lucky."

Noah nodded.

"So tell me this…" Trevor took a seat on the bleachers, jamming his hands in to his pockets after he'd laid out all the training gear. "Why haven't you told your Mom that you're playing on the football team."

"How do you know that I haven't?"

Trevor smiled and scratched his beard, "Come on, Noah. If your Mom knew she wouldn't have freaked out so hard when you pulled up the other night. She has no idea, does she?"

"No and so what? This isn't about her. It's about me. I don't need her to worry about something else, she has enough going on."

"You're protective of your Mom — but you know what? She's the adult, not you, you don't need to protect her, she's busy protecting you."

"You don't know us, you don't know my Mom or what she's been through. She's been through enough—" he paused trying to compose himself before he got angry, "she's … she's been through enough, okay?"

"Okay." Trevor dropped the subject. "I get it, it's private. I just feel like… you need a friend or someone you can talk to."

"I'll get a dog," he muttered.

Trevor laughed, "Wanna know something funny?"

Noah shrugged.

"I needed someone to talk to and I didn't want to see a shrink because I thought that would be really lame, so I got a dog and I talk to her all the time. I bet she thinks I'm crazy."

Noah did find that a bit funny. He wondered what Coach Langan could possibly need to talk to a shrink about. "Imagine if your dog turns up in a white coat and a notepad and starts invoicing you for her time."

They both laughed at the absurdity and for Noah it felt nice and light.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did, she's got that kind of sass about her," he agreed.

"I always wanted a dog… I was promised a dog when my Mom and her partner got married."

Suddenly alarm bells went off, he didn't realise there was a man in the picture and perhaps that was an issue for Noah. "Still hasn't happened?"

"Nope, he left us and Mom probably didn't want me to have a dog to begin with."

"When did that happen?" Trevor asked curiously.

Noah shrugged, "I guess… about three years ago, maybe less."

Suddenly Trevor felt like he found a small piece of the puzzle. "Sorry about that kiddo, that sucks. Were you close to him?"

"I thought I was… I was close to his son who was 2 years older than me, we spent a lot of time together and he had other kids too, it was just nice you know? Having a family… but," Noah's mood seemed to shift, "it wasn't worth it for how much he hurt my Mom."

"And probably you too," Trevor said gently.

Noah shrugged. "I didn't get my dog…"

"Well," Trevor smiled, "I can bring Ruby to practice next time. I know she'd love to run and burn off some energy and maybe she can bring her white coat, note pad and invoice book and take you under a nice tree for a talking session," he joked. "But she wants you to know, she only accepts bones as a form of payment."

Noah laughed at his coach's silliness. "You're lame, coach…" he told him, getting up to go grab his bag to put his boots on.

Trevor smiled, happy that he had made a little bit of a breakthrough with Noah, something personal and a shared laugh — it was a start.

/

It was 5:15 and Noah still wasn't home — for the third time in a row and she was starting to wonder how many days a week he was out late when he had assured her he was at home after school.

He hadn't told Carisi too much, just that the man he was with was someone from school who gave him a ride after he got caught up in between two kids fighting. Apparently, the teacher or whoever he was wanted to make sure Noah got home safe after the blow to the face.

It wasn't in fact a big deal to Noah, but it was to her. She hated the secretive behaviour.

She found his cell phone smashed up beneath some clothes in his room. She wasn't even snooping, she was putting his clothes away when she found a balled up pair of pants that she was trying to straighten out. She was trying to figure out who's phone he was using. She remembered the mess drawer in the foyer where they kept all of their dead technology and cords and noticed his old phone was missing.

She wondered if her son was being bullied, it would have explained some things.

She drove around the school, taking the long and the short route. She knew the way he walked to school and knew that sometimes he liked to cut through Central Park which wasn't a great help, but she did a full lap around the school and finally she spotted a figure in the distance on the football field. She slowed her car down and noticed a bunch of kids filing out of the gym. Noah was already outside and talking to another, much taller kid and then there was the guy who had dropped him off — the coach?

She wondered if Noah had joined the football team — it seemed absurd, he was barely tall enough.

But there it was, the coach holding his whistle and the two boys standing side-by-side as if they were about to have a foot race. She could hear the man yelling a count down from three and then a loud whistle blow. The two boys set off down the field.

She forgot her concern for the moment and felt proud as her son overtook the other boy and continued to break away toward the other end of the field looking effortless. With a good distance between the two, Noah tipped the goal line began running back toward the coach who was proudly clapping him on, yelling out to him, cheering for him.

Olivia found herself smiling as the coach held out his hand and she watched her son slap it, slowing to a stop as the other, larger boy slowed to a halt, bending over, puffing hard. He reached out for Noah's hand and good naturedly slapped it too.

She had no idea her son could move so fast and she was impressed and clearly the coach was too. He celebrated her son loudly and excitedly. He pulled his baseball cap off and reached for the hem of the red jersey he was wearing and pulled it over his head revealing a white-button down shirt, nothing too crisp or restrictive, it was casual and looked comfortable. He tossed the jersey toward Noah.

She didn't have to be close to tell that her son was grinning. He put the jersey on and the two boys chatted with the coach for a second before they walked off side-by-side chatting to one another. It was the first time she had seen her son genuinely happy in weeks and she had to admit that it hurt just a little that he couldn't find that same happiness with her.

Still, she wasn't happy about the secrecy of the coach and the fact that he hadn't touched base with her about her son's injury when it could have been something serious.

She watched the two boys cross to the other side of the field as the coach began to carry a bunch of footballs toward a car. A very, very nice car, she thought — the same Mustang that had dropped him off earlier in the week.

She watched Noah hop in to a car with the other boy and wondered where he was headed. She looked down at her phone and texted him. "Hi honey, you're really late, just let me know you're OK and what you'd like for dinner. Not pizza."

She turned the car around and drove up close to the black Mustang. She heard her phone and plucked it up. "Sorry Mom, I'm just with a friend. Is it okay if I go to get pizza with him and his brother? His brother says he will bring me home by 7."

She thought for a second and cursed. "Okay. You need to communicate with me if you're going to be late, even by five minutes."

A few moments later as the coach was loading his car, glancing at Olivia in the driver's side from time-to-time, Noah responded again, "Promise I will. If you want me to get you something, let me know, I could buy my Mom dinner for a change."

She managed a smile. "No sweetie, have fun, enjoy your dinner."

She locked the phone and put it back on the cradle and pulled up the handbrake. She turned the car off and got out. "Hi," Trevor smiled at her.

"Hi," she replied. She put her hands inside the pocket of her long black fall coat.

"You're Noah's Mom," he remarked with a little nod of acknowledgment.

"I am. So, why don't I know about you? Why are you hanging out with my kid and ferrying him around in your car without my permission? Why did you think it was appropriate to not inform me about what could have been a concussion earlier in the week? What do you want with him?," she found herself firing off the questions harshly, the irritation in her voice and spreading out across her face.

Trevor laughed and she felt herself tensing more. "Wow…." He murmured, "typical cop, huh? Shoot first without letting anyone explain."

"You shouldn't be hanging out with kids outside of school hours-"

"Firstly-" Trevor cut her off, closing the trunk of his car, "are you done?," he paused, waiting for her to say something else. When she fell silent, he continued, "you might be the captain of the police, but you don't get to tell me how to do my job. I'm a teacher and a football coach and my duty of care is to my students. So let me translate what you just asked me in more polite terms so we can both get about our evenings."

He crossed his arms and stared back at her, "Thank you, Trevor Langan or Coach Langan for ensuring my son didn't get dropped from AP English but rather striking a deal with his English teacher having known your child for long enough to know he's not the student his English teacher is telling me he is. And thank you Trevor for helping him with Math and getting him involved in a space here on my team to help channel some of that negative energy - oh, no problem Ms. Cop Lady, you're very welcome!"

Olivia's mouth fell open. She had no idea Noah's grades were slipping so much. She was speechless and felt a little silly about ranting at the teacher without any regard for what he might have been doing for her son. "Sorry," she murmured. "I'm sorry."

Trevor dropped his defensiveness as well, "Its okay, I just want to make sure Noah is on track and I'm sure that's all you want too." He paused, "Look, Ms. Benson, I'm just a reacher who happens to be very successful at his job and your kid needs someone that is far enough removed that he can talk to and maybe even some friends. There's nothing creepy about it and if you think there is, you might have spent too long in sex crimes."

Feeling reproached, Olivia glanced down at her feet for a moment. "I see a lot of disgusting shit, Trevor Langan, nothing surprises me and if I'm overprotective of my child, you'll have to trust that there are a lot of reasons why."

He nodded. "Understood, but I'm not it. I'm not that. I've been through my fair share stuff too and that's why I'm passionate about the troubled kids, or when the good kids get in to trouble. I want to help, that's all…"

"So you think… Noah…" she tried to digest it, "you think Noah needs some help?" She felt her insides turn to mush. She hated to know that her child was falling short when he had never struggled in his life.

"Hmm," Trevor thought about it for a second, "honestly, Ms. Benson-"

"Olivia," she corrected him, "please, call me Olivia…"

"Olivia," he began again, appraising her gorgeous brown locks that were pulled back off her face, held back by a clip with tendrils framing her face. He held eye contact, "the one thing that Noah keeps repeating to me is that he doesn't want you to worry, he doesn't want to make you worry," he explained, "and I'm just starting to earn his trust and I can't help him without trust…"

"So you're saying I should trust you to do your job?," she asked raising her eyebrow.

He shrugged, "he's your son and you're here demanding to know what's going on and I'm trying to figure it out… if you want to know everything I have no right to keep anything from you and I won't, but it would be a shame if Noah didn't trust me."

"He won't trust me, I'm getting constant back-and-forth behaviour from him. One minute he is being a saint and apologising and getting emotional with me and the next minute he's rude and blunt and quite frankly, a little hurtful," she explained.

Trevor leaned against his car and glanced at the woman in front of him of whom he was sure commanded attention in any other situation but she looked distressed and concerned. "I haven't figured out what's going on with Noah, but there are a few things… yesterday afternoon I helped him with his English essay that he had to do a re-submit for and tomorrow afternoon I am meeting him in the library to begin work on his second semester essay."

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Its okay, it's my job. He is a good kid, Olivia. He has a really kind heart. He used to be in my Economics class and he left an imprint on me during a difficult time in my life simply by showing me how kind kids can be to each other…. So, I can't let him make the wrong choices or stop caring, it would be the biggest shame."

"Thank you," she said in a whisper again.

"I have an idea of something that's bothering him," she said softly, "but it's sort— personal."

"Is it about a man that was previously in his life?" Trevor asked gently.

Olivia looked up, flicking her eyes to meet the handsome teacher, "yeah…" she forced a smile; bashful, almost ashamed. "He's been out of our lives for some time and I thought Noah was okay with it all — but he brought it up the other day and I got the feeling he holds some blame for what happened… which really isn't the case."

Trevor nodded slowly. "Abandonment," he said slowly. "Its a hard pill to swallow, Olivia, especially for a child. Maybe he's angry, maybe he's only just accepted that person is gone permanently. He might have held on to some childish hope that he would come back."

"Maybe…" Olivia replied.

"I promised him I would bring my dog to practice to run laps with him and he seemed pretty happy about that… my dog has a great way of opening up hard conversations."

She finally smiled he thought, she was pretty — Noah's Mom was very pretty. "He loves dogs…"

Trevor kept the part about the promise of a dog to himself. "If you like…. I can check in with you maybe once a week or so and you can let me know how he's been at home and if there are any positive or negative changes and I can just… make sure you know how he's doing for real."

"Thanks, that would be great," she agreed, "I would really appreciate it. Thank you for going beyond for him."

He chuckled, "well, I'm not sure if you knew this, but your son can run like a startled gazelle, I'm hoping he is going to be my secret weapon for this team. He needs some confidence and I really believe in his speed and his hand-eye coordination," Trevor smiled, "so maybe it's not totally unselfish," he joked.

Olivia laughed lightly as the handsome teacher scratched his greying beard a little self-consciously. "Just make sure no one maims my kid and if he has anymore injuries, you need to let me know."

Trevor agreed and they exchanged phone numbers. Olivia let him know that text updates were okay if she didn't answer, work was busy and sometimes she was on days off sleeping.

/

"I need to talk to you about something," Olivia started when Noah had finished getting ready for quiet time before bed.

"Mmm?," he asked absently looking up from his iPad.

"Noah," she began again, taking a seat beside him on the couch, "can I have your full attention?," she prompted him.

He peeled his eyes from the screen and locked the screen. "What's up?" He observed his mother who looked as though she was tired, but she didn't look mad or upset so that was a start. He'd had such a good night with his new teammate Adam and the jersey that coach Langan gave him off his own back.

He felt a huge sense of pride being able to beat one of the star players when it came to speed and Adam's brother, once a jock, was also super nice to him. They'd had pizza together and Kyle, Adam's brother had told them about his best friend, a tailback, the kind of position that Trevor liked Noah for, how he had become such a star player despite being a little smaller than everyone else.

It made Noah feel a little more confident, happier to work at it and to give it more of a chance. Adam and Kyle had a younger sister who was only 7, their father was out of the picture too, so they were responsible while their Mom worked — they dropped him off to go pick up their little sister who had a play date.

"I found something and I don't really want to make a big deal of it, I just want you to be honest with me about it…"

"Okay?" Noah replied slowly.

Olivia produced his phone from her pocket. She held up her hand to halt his anger. "I wasn't snooping."

"Mom! Come on, it was my drawer under my stuff, why are you going through my things?!," he snapped.

"Lower your voice," she retorted firmly, "don't take that tone with me, Noah, I told you I was not snooping. I was doing your laundry and I was doing you a solid and putting it away for you because I wanted you to be able to get home and just focus on doing your homework and having some time to yourself."

He shook his head, his brow fused with annoyance.

"Maybe if you didn't bunch your clothes up and you had things folded like you know you should, I wouldn't have moved anything and revealed your broken phone…" she replied, becoming irritated. "I just don't understand why everything is a secret, Noah. I'm trying hard to understand — I just want to know if someone did this to your phone, if you dropped it… did you think I'd be mad?"

"No!," he blurted out, "no Mom, it wasn't that…"

"Well… tell me, honey, I'm trying to be open and honest with you, I just really wish you'd return that."

"I didn't want to make things harder for you, you paid so much money for this for me for my birthday and look at it…" he took the phone from her with the shattered screen, "I wasn't even upset about it, I was upset that you would be upset or think that I didn't appreciate it or I wasn't careful."

"Oh, honey…" Liv's voice trailed off, she could see his irritation turning from anger to upset. "I love that you were thinking of my feelings, but you don't need to. You should have just said something. How long have you been using your old phone for?," she wanted to know.

"Since Uncle Sonny and Aunt Amanda came over…" he admitted.

"Okay, and how did it happen? You don't need to save my feelings. I'll be okay."

"Well…" he began, "one of the jerk kids at school tripped me and I fell- that's how I really hurt my nose."

Olivia looked instantly incensed. "Why did he do that?"

"Mom," Noah looked at her, "please, a teacher saw it happen, he got dealt with, it was just some douche trying to be funny for his idiot friend…"

She sighed and rubbed her face, "and your phone?"

"I didn't even realise that it was smashed until I was halfway home and I realised you'd be worried — that's why I didn't reply to your texts or calls, it wasn't cos I thought you were being overbearing and I was trying to teach you a lesson…"

"No, my love, I don't ever think you're spiteful like that, I just… I guess I thought you didn't understand my panic…"

"I understand… I don't want to make you worry… I would never do that to you, Mom…"

She gave him a little smile. "Want me to send my goons around to teach the other kid who did this to your phone a lesson?," she joked.

Noah returned her smile. "Nah, I don't care about him. Mr. Langan, a teacher at school, he was so mad and then we had to do an incident report so that's why I was late, but it was okay, the kid hasn't come near me or spoken to me since except when Langan made him apologise to me."

Olivia nodded. She was thankful, she knew that this was probably closer to the real story. "And your phone… Noah, it's just an object honey. I know you know I'm fortunate when it comes to money and we have a lot of blessings in that respect… I can get your phone fixed or if it can't be fixed, I can get you another one. We'll just make sure you get a tougher screen protector and case…"

"Thanks Mom, I can use my old phone for awhile though, it's okay."

She gave him a smile and put an arm around him, squeezing him against her. "Thank you for telling me the truth and I promise you I wasn't snooping. I respect your privacy."

"I know, my drawers were a mess…" he chuckled. She kissed his temple and let go of him. "Love you."

"Love you too, Mom," he replied.

/

"Don't be late home tonight, k? Your sister and Gavin are coming for dinner and she is really excited to tell us their news."

"She's having a baby, I'm calling it," Trevor replied absently as he took their lunches out of the refrigerator. He put one bag in to his backpack and put the other one aside for Lana.

"I think you're right. You're always right when it comes to your sister," his wife laughed lightly, slipping her arms around his waist as he finished his coffee. He turned around after setting his empty mug down and smiled, towering over his tiny raven-haired wife. "When are we going to have babies?," she asked with a sigh.

It wasn't for the lack of trying, he thought as he leaned over and kissed her lips, "be patient, sweetheart, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen."

Her lips turned upward in to a smile, "you just like all the practice…"

Trevor chuckled, "it doesn't hurt to practice… persistence is the key."

They both laughed and kissed again. "Thanks for my lunch…" she took the bag. "I gotta run. I'll see you tonight, remember, don't be late…"

He followed her to the front door. She looked extra hot in her hospital scrubs, he thought, watching her put her bags in to the car. She was on dayshift and knew she would be too exhausted by the time she got back from the hospital to want to cook; he would order something and he would make sure he got her flowers on the way home too, she loved flowers and he loved to make her happy.

"Love you, see you later…"

He was about to respond when a thought interrupted him, "Oh, shit babe can you please remember to transfer some money from the bills account for the electricity bill?"

Lana laughed and nodded, "I won't forget," she replied as she drove off.

And that was the last time he ever saw her alive. And he dreamed of that moment in circles almost every single night. He sat up quickly as he did every night. He took a deep breath and exhaled. He reached for the glass of water beside his bed and guzzled it down.

He flopped back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling for a few moments until his eyes adjusted to the dark. He felt weight shift on his mattress which scared him for a moment until he heard the heavy sigh of his big, clumsy dog.

"Ruby…" he muttered, "you're not invited up here…"

As if thinking she knew better, the dog got up and moved closer to him, nosing his arm. "You really are your mother's dog," he murmured sleepily. He knew that no matter what, Lana wouldn't have cared what he said and the dog that she wanted would have slept on the bed regardless of his protest.

It made it a little easier for him to relent and he had to be honest, it was nice to wake up and to have someone with him so he didn't feel entirely alone. Even if she was a pretty lady with a curly, mess of a face.

With questionable breath.