Hi guys, sorry this has been a bit of a wait. I had a very busy past week as I've been on holidays from my job and had stuff I needed to take care of. I hope you enjoy this update. There's a lot on the cards :) Let me know what you think!
"Hmmm Trevor wants us at his place whenever we are ready but we have to text him first. Hmm, what do you think he has planned for us?" Olivia asked Noah as they walked back in to their apartment.
"I don't know… maybe dinner and a movie or something?" Noah shrugged. "Are you okay with going to his apartment Mom," her son asked.
Olivia looked quizzically at her boy as they got to the kitchen. Everything was pristine as though he hadn't even cooked earlier. "Yeah? Why?"
Noah shrugged, "doesn't it feel weird to go there when Trevor used to live there with his wife?," he wondered, "or to see her pictures and stuff?"
"No babe, Trevor never lived in that apartment with Lana, he bought it after she passed and I've been to his apartment before, there's not that much stuff up and even if there was, its okay, we have to acknowledge that she existed because he still gets really sad sometimes."
"Is it weird? To know that he gets sad about her, does it make you feel jealous?" Her son was asking curious questions and she supposed he had a right to know. She wasn't entirely used to this version of her son, asking a lot of personal things — it'd only been something he got comfortable with when she started seeing Trevor. She was trying to engage him despite it making her feel at times, uncomfortable.
"Not really, " Olivia replied, "I just feel sad that he lost someone who was very special to him, but it doesn't make him love me less," she explained. "Its complicated, babe, but I don't mind going there. Do you?"
Noah shrugged, "as long as you are, I'm fine," he replied.
"Hey, come here…" she told him, taking a seat at the counter for a moment, she was tired. Noah was about to head to his room.
"Yeah?"
She held her arms out and he knew she wanted a hug. He groaned with mock reluctance, but obliged her anyway. She wrapped her arms around him and held him for a moment. "You were such a great friend to Kaci today, I really like that girl, I hope even if you lose interest in one another in an attraction kind of way, you'll still stay friends with her."
"Me too," Noah replied. "And Mom, I was thinking," he began, releasing her. "I don't think I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend," he told her.
"No? Why?" Olivia asked.
Noah shrugged, heading in to the kitchen to get a glass of water, "I don't think now is a good time for her. She has a lot going on and if anything is going to happen, its probably better that it happens slowly and gradually over time. I don't want anything to be overwhelming."
Olivia gave him a little smile, "but if you like her, you should at least make sure she knows it and doesn't always have to second guess her own feelings because for a young girl and even an old girl like myself, guessing games are never fun."
"Okay, noted," he replied, sounding just like Trevor Olivia thought with an interior chuckle. It was an expression Trevor used often and she was starting to see some of her boyfriend's habits picked up by her son, all of them positive though, she thought.
"Okay, I'm a little tired, can you get some stuff together so we can go to Trevs?," she asked, "I'm going to text and ask if we're staying there tonight."
"Let me know," Noah called over his shoulder.
A few texts back and forth, Olivia and Trevor negotiated that she and Noah would stay and that there was time for her to have a nap if they arrived soonish. A nap sounded good — at least a lay down. It was generally hard for her to fall asleep after coming off night shift. It usually took at least a good day and a half to fall in to a deep, heavy, 10 hour sleep.
Noah got his things together and so did Olivia and they made their way down to Trevor's apartment.
/
Trevor welcomed them both and showed Noah around. "Ok you get settled, I'm gonna steal Mom for a second because I've organised for her to have some take a little relaxation time for herself since she's been busy running around after everyone else."
"Okay, can I just lay here on the guest bed and read?," Noah asked.
"Sure can kiddo, mi casa es su casa, help yourself to whatever you want," Trevor told him with a smile. "I won't be long. I'm gonna set up everything in a minute so, if you want it to be a surprise you can stay here, but if not, you can come out," he smiled.
"Thanks Trev, I'll just read for a little bit," he replied. Trevor left him to it, chuffed that he already had made it through a few pages of the book he'd bought him.
"Okay, you… come with me, I have a little surprise for you before our family time. I figured you'd be exhausted since you barely had 5 hours sleep…" he grabbed Liv's hand and pulled her toward his bedroom. He turned behind him and opened up the ensuite bathroom door and flicked the light on. He had partially chosen to host the night at his place due to the fact that he had a more private and bigger bathtub and that his bedroom was far enough from the guest room that if they wanted intimate time later, it wouldn't be a problem.
There was already a bath drawn, sprinkled with rose petals in his lovely black and grey marbled bathroom. Not only that, but there was a bottle of wine sitting in a bucket of ice beside the bath with a single long stemmed wine glass.
"What!," she grinned, "this is for me?"
"Yeah, of course…" he was glad to see her smile grow in to a grin as she glanced around the bathroom.
"Thank you, this is so, so sweet!"
"I just want to take care of you. You spent the week running around after everyone else and you barely slept for the past 5 days so now it's your turn. I want you to have a soak and a glass of wine and if you want to have a nap, you can get out and I can wake you up just before dinner time," he told her.
"Oh my gosh… what did I do to deserve you?," she was grinning so hard, almost in tears over his thoughtfulness.
"I ask myself the same thing about you every day," he replied, sliding his arms around her waist. She looked up, her eyes meeting his as a warm rush traveled over her whenever she saw the way he stared- the way his eyes took her in, adoring and loving. "I want you to just relax. Would you like me to bring you a snack? Some fruit or some crackers or … anything really?"
"Mmm maybe some fruit could be nice," she answered, staring at his lips before she kissed them.
"Very well," he kissed her back. "I'll leave you to it and I'll be back in a few minutes after giving you a second to get in and get comfortable and I'll bring you some fruit and pour you a glass of wine and when you're ready to come out, you can give me a yell and I'll take care of everything else."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
/
"Wow, what's all this?" Noah asked, coming in to the living room after having a little nap himself. It made Trevor surprisingly at ease in his own apartment to simply know that both Olivia and her son were present, taking up space — existing in their own right so close to him. It didn't matter that they'd both been asleep — what mattered to him was their presence and being able to walk down the hall and find either one of them if he needed company.
"We are having a painting night," he told Noah, "acrylic painting, remember when I told you that I liked to paint and you said you'd like to try?"
He nodded," you're gonna teach us?"
"Well… I actually have a bunch of different pictures and scenes with step by step instructions and I can help you guys with getting the colours right and the consistency and brush strokes, but this is more about the experience and the therapy in painting than the actual picture…"
"Therapy?" Noah rose an eyebrow.
"Yeah, art can be incredibly therapeutic, it's actually a scientific study and I think sometimes we can all do with a little bit of fun and creativity if nothing else," Trevor explained. "What do you think? Is this the lamest idea ever?"
Noah shook his head and smiled, "No, it's cool… I'm excited to see how bad I am," he chuckled.
"I've seen some of your little drawings, I think you'll be surprisingly good at this, you just have to have patience."
"Is Mom still asleep?"
"Yeah, but maybe you can help me… I'm trying to choose dinner — what do you think we should get? Italian? Or maybe something a bit different like Vietnamese food?"
"Mmm I think Italian. It's Moms favourite."
"Okay," Trevor smiled. "I think I'll order a few different dishes and maybe a pepperoni pizza?"
"Nah we don't need pizza if there's pasta," Noah told him, "unless you want pizza."
"I think it never hurts to wake up and have a slice of cold, breakfast pizza," he winked at Noah. Noah laughed. "Why does it taste so good when it's cold?!," he asked Trevor.
They both laughed, "you get it, kiddo… it used to gross out my sister and my parents."
"Mom doesn't like it when I eat cold pizza either, she's always like, 'eww heat it up, that's disgusting'"
Trevor laughed. "Excellent, I found her kryptonite; it's cold pizza."
They went through the app and chose a bunch of different things and ordered. It was due in around 30 minutes so he decided it was time to wake Olivia up. He was glad she was able to have a solid few hours sleep, but he knew it still wasn't quite enough.
/
Trevor slid on to his bed beside Olivia and stroked her cheek softly with his forefingers, "hey baby…" he whispered quietly, "its time to wake up…"
"Mmm…" she murmured, stirring slightly, flinching from his touch, flipping over with her back to him. He couldn't help but to smile as he ran his hand gently up and down her bare arm exposed from beneath the blankets. He could tell she was naked beneath the covers and he kind of liked that she felt comfortable to sleep in the nude in his bed.
"Come on baby, you need to eat something," he spoke a little louder.
"Okay, okay…" she sighed, stretching. "I'm awake."
"Sorry sweetie," he apologised, "if you're really, really tired, you should keep sleeping and Noah and I can have dinner—" he knew he'd be a little disappointed if she didn't partake in the activity he had planned to a tee all day, but he understood and he knew how badly she needed sleep.
"No," she replied shaking her head, she rolled on to her back, the blanket coming a little loose, showing the soft skin of her cleavage. "I had a great relax in the bath and an even nicer nap. I want to eat and I want to see what you've got planned," she told him, reaching over and smoothing her soft hand over his jaw. "Thank you for letting me have this perfect quiet afternoon."
He smiled fondly at her. "I love you and always want the best for you. We're not having a late night, k? I want you to get a full ten hours."
"Thanks, baby," she held out her arms for him to embrace her. He couldn't help but to smile as he took her in his arms and cuddled her for a few moments, planting kisses on her cheek and then her temple and then her forehead before studying her face for a moment with a look of adoration. "Love you," he murmured before pressing his lips against hers.
"I love you too," she replied as a sigh of contentment left her body. "Give me a minute, I'll get up and get dressed. Do I need to wear something fancy? What's the dress code?"
"Well, you could wear one of my old t-shirts if you like…"
He got off the bed and handed her one from the pile that sat on an armchair. It was an old grey baseball shirt.
She held her hand out. "Oh good, lazy clothes, my favourite," she chuckled. "Maybe you could just wear some pajama pants or something you're very comfortable in."
"Okay, gotcha."
/
"Mom do you know what's gonna happen to Kaci now that her grandparents are here?," Noah asked Olivia as he took a bit of a slice of pepperoni pizza that Trevor insisted he take.
"I'm not sure, babe, I actually think that her grandparents might like to take her back to Pennsylvania so that she can recover or maybe they'll go back to her apartment and clean things up and stay there."
"I hope that she stays in New York - her Mom is here, it makes better sense."
Trevor smiled at Olivia's son. "I think we need to all just keep in mind what's best for Kaci as much as we might miss her or might not be able to see her if she goes back with her grandparents."
Noah nodded. "I know, but it'd be sad for me which I know is selfish."
"Its okay to have feelings about it though, babe," Olivia told him. "I'll be sad too if I don't get to see her for awhile, I've been with her every day, but its okay. You guys can text and video chat," she added.
Noah agreed and went back to his food.
"Well, this is amazing, guys, thank you for dinner, this is just what I needed. A good, decadent dinner with my two favourite people on this earth," she smiled. "I can't wait to see what activity is in store."
"It'll be fun Mom, you'll love it, I can tell," Noah grinned at her and over to Trevor knowingly.
"I hope so," Trevor replied, "and I'm glad you're having a nice night with us despite how tired you are."
"Good company, good fun, good food and hopefully a nice drink…"
"Absolutely…"
Noah and Trevor cleaned up after dinner, urging Olivia to sit at the counter and while Noah packed away the left overs, Trevor poured Olivia her favourite vodka, lime and soda. He poured a scotch for himself and Noah turned to them both. "If you guys are going to be drinking alcohol, I should be allowed to have a soda."
Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled at her son. "Fiiiine, you can get your sugar hit, see if I care," she told him.
Noah grabbed a soda from Trevor's fridge and opened it up. Trevor couldn't help but to chuckle at his little addiction. "I am going to help you ween off that garbage if it's the last thing I do!," he vowed.
"Uhuh," Noah pretended to sound bored. "Says the man drinking alcohol. Can you tell me about the nutritiousness of whisky or whatever that is?"
"Okay smartypants," Trevor retorted. "It's time for us to go to the living room," he told them. Olivia picked up her drink and followed her two boys in. She smiled when she saw a drop sheet on the ground and three easels and three canvases set up in front of a TV.
Trevor's apartment was kind of spacious, bigger than hers and furnished a lot more stylishly as he had hired someone to do. The money he'd used to buy it was directly from Lana's life insurance payout.
"Ohhh we're painting," she grinned. "This looks like so much fun! Where did you get these easels from?"
"Well, actually I borrowed them from school," he chuckled. "Don't worry, I asked for permission," he told Noah.
"You even have easel stools," Noah chuckled. "Did you steal the brushes too?"
"I didn't steal anything," Trevor replied, "and yes, I did borrow the brushes too. Can't paint without brushes. But I bought brand new canvases…" He picked up his iPad on the coffee table. "Check out the list of beginner tutorials and we'll play them on the TV and paint step by step. I'll be right back."
Trevor went back to the kitchen and grabbed the platter of meats and cheese and fruit that he'd made earlier. He went and placed it on the coffee table. "Snacks…" he told them, disappearing again before he could say another word. He reappeared with a bottle of wine and some glasses and another soda for Noah.
"Okay!" He let out a deep breath. He looked up to see Olivia gazing at him with a loving expression. "Trevor, this is so nice, thank you…"
"You're welcome. I thought we could do some interesting stuff sometimes. Movies together are always fun, but we should all come up with some ideas of stuff we can all do together…"
"Well, I'm excited," Olivia told them both. "Mama needs a glass of wine and a little cracker with some cheese," she beamed at Trevor and Noah, "Noah and I wanna paint the beach, right babe?"
"Good choice guys…" Trevor remarked. He played with the TV for a few moments until he came up with a YouTube app. "Okay, here we go…. Help yourself to a glass of wine Mama and I think we'll watch the quick walk through and then we'll watch it in steps and pause and we can keep going back, or I can help," he told them.
"I don't hold high hopes," Olivia told him, "but it'll be fun none-the-less."
"Well, I wanted to learn how to paint properly so before we start, can you show me how to get the right paint consistency and brush strokes, Trev?," he asked, "and why don't you teach art?"
Trevor smiled, "I used to teach elementary school believe it or not."
"I believe it," Olivia smirked. "First grade, I believe,"
Trevor laughed, "my sister told you, of course she did!"
"You taught first graders? I can't imagine that!" Noah chuckled.
"I did, I was so embarrassed at first because I thought I'd scare them because I was so tall, but I had such a great time, the kids were so, so sweet and they are so funny," he smiled at the memory, "and its less hard-lined, there's a bench mark they all have to meet, but every day is just lots of fun," he told them, "lots of painting, alphabet games, singing silly songs and having kids come out with some seriously bizarre stuff," he smiled.
"You would have been the softest teacher," Olivia remarked, "there's no way you would have been able to get firm with those little ones," she added. She and Noah agreed with a little laugh.
"No, I was, I had a little shit — there's always one terror. He saw a lot of time outs, but he had some problems at home and was just acting out, but eventually when he got comfortable with me, he used to want to be around me all the time and did as I told him for the most part. Most kids don't know how to manage their anger and we have these huge expectations on them from an adult perspective, but they just aren't equipped yet— that's why we get mad, they need to be taught what's okay and what isn't…" he stopped and laughed in spite of himself, "sorry…"
"No… go ahead, I like these stories," Olivia told him, feeling soft, wishing that maybe she was five years younger, she could have made him a father. She realised her thoughts were running away with her.
"I think it's a little funny, those kids must have been tiny, like … Samantha, maybe a little bigger, and you were their teacher. Did you have to walk around crouched down like a duck for a year?," he laughed at his own image.
"Oh be quiet, and yes, yes I did," Trevor chuckled, glad to see Noah finding enjoyment in teasing him.
Olivia poured herself and Trevor a wine as he showed Noah how to do some simple brush strokes. She watched, paying some attention, but she knew how to do the basics from many training and group exercises and therapy conferences she'd attended over the years - art therapy had a huge emphasis within the recovery practice of trauma and she had not only shown up, but taken part, it was healing to her for what she had been through too.
She was by no means artistic, but there were a few things she could do.
"Okay, are we ready to watch the video?" Trevor asked as Olivia found somewhere to place the wine down on.
"Go for it," she replied.
They watched the run through and started slowly with step one, which was the horizon, with Trevor assisting Noah and Liv with their colour mixing and how to map their canvas out. There was a quiet harmoniousness about what they were doing, peacefulness and concentration and a complete disbandment of any problems or issues any one of the three had.
"I needed this tonight…" Liv told them both as she took a step back, squinting at her painting. "Thanks Trevor," she smiled at him. She noticed in her periphery that Noah was watching them with a little smile too.
Trevor reached out and placed a hand upon her shoulder, brushing it along her bare arm, just some slight affection to let her know he was hearing her. "Me too," he replied.
"Trev…" Noah began as he was finishing up his skyline, "Kaci asked if you would come and see her tomorrow, but we understand if you can't," he told him.
Trevor thought about it for a moment before responding. "I think I could visit her," he said finally, "because I know if I feel any type of way about it, I can come home to you guys and you guys know how I'm feeling and always make me feel better."
"How about we all go and if it gets to be too much you could just take a breather and I know Kaci would understand," Noah told him.
Trevor smiled at him, "yeah maybe we can do that."
They went on through the next few steps and Trevor was impressed with how quick Olivia seemed to pick up on the skills. "I feel like you're sharking me, baby, have you painted before?"
She chuckled, "yes, a few times but nothing great, this is not great Trevor…"
"It's not the worst and your painting skills are pretty good… I think the next part is the sand and then the seafoam from the water."
They went on to the next part and Noah was beginning to feel a bit frustrated with his water, continually going over the same spot. "I am ready to throw this in the garbage," he huffed, annoyed.
"Noah, it looks great," Trevor promised him, "you're almost done, just take a breather, have a drink, have a snack, you've probably over complicated it in your head… if you take a few minutes and come back, it won't feel as bad."
"Okay," he sighed, putting up his brush and wiping his hands on the rag Trevor had provided them with. Noah opened his soda can and picked up his phone and looked at it. "Aww Kaci just texted me," he grinned. "She loves her hair so much Mom, she sent me pics of it that her grandma took."
Olivia smiled, "Aww, I'm kinda proud I managed to do it so well!"
"Show me," Trevor piped up, "I didn't get to see her with her hair done on her birthday."
Noah handed his phone over and showed Trevor. "Awwwww, that's sooooo sweet, Liv you are so friggin' talented!"
"I know," she flicked her hair, "I missed my calling, I guess."
The three of them laughed. Noah replied to Kaci. And just as she was previous to her birthday, she was responding quickly again much to his relief. He knew that meant she was feeling a lot better. "Oh," Noah told them, "thank goodness, they said Kaci can go home tomorrow and her grandparents are going to be staying in the apartment with her until her Mom gets better."
"Thats such great news!" Both Liv and Trevor gushed. "Say hello from us…"
Noah turned on his snap app and filmed what they were doing, "We just had dinner and now we're painting and snacking," he told them camera, "say Hi Mom, Hi Trev… I'm sending this to Kaci." He turned the camera to them.
Noah smiled, feeling happy to see both Trevor and his Mom looking a little more relaxed. They both waved and said hello to her as Noah finished the video and pressed send. He smiled and locked his phone and put it down and helped himself to some snacks.
They went back to their painting and without any surprise, Trevor finished his first and stood by Noah, helping him a little with the last bits of his sea-foam until he had the right colours and consistency. Noah stepped back and appraised his own work and smiled. "I like it, I think I did a good job."
"You did a great job for a first time, kiddo," Trevor encouraged him, "I'm very impressed… Go see your Mom's. I think she's secretly getting painting lessons," he joked.
Olivia looked up and smiled at them. "No one asked me if I could paint, you both just assumed that I don't have a creative side."
"Oh, I think Kaci's hair proved to us you have a very creative side," Trevor remarked as she finished up as well. "I love it, baby, we should do this more, the three of us, maybe we could choose different stuff to paint each…"
"That's a good idea. I think it's nice to just do something together even if it's not the same, you're right Trev, it was relaxing."
"Good…" he smiled. "Then it was my job done."
They packed up everything; Trevor making Olivia sit down so she could continue snacking while he and Noah put the paints away and put the easels down the end of the hall, washing the brushes so he could take them back to school during the week.
"Trev, is it okay if I have a shower? I think I want to get in to bed soon and continue reading my book."
"Of course kiddo, I left a towel on your bed. Just help yourself to whatever you need, okay? My place is your place."
He smiled. "Thanks…"
/
"What a day…" Olivia remarked, realising just how exhausted she was. "I can barely keep my eyes open," she admitted to Trevor who pottered around the room getting his things together after his shower. He closed his bedroom door and climbed in to bed.
"It was a big day, very emotional, if I'm honest."
"How do you feel tonight?, I know last night was really hard for you."
"I feel very, very grateful that I have two sweet, understanding people in my life who love me regardless of my stupidity and showed me the grace not to hold my behaviour against me."
"Trevor, I am never going to hold your grief against you. I got upset because you frightened me a little when I came through the door but I know that wasn't you, that was your grief but I also know that I am not the same person I was when I was with Elliot and I feel comfortable enough to stand up for myself and that you're man enough to listen."
He nodded. "I will, and I'm so sorry. I just hate that I made you feel frightened. That actually hurts to hear that, but I needed to hear it."
"Its forgotten now…"
"Thank you, Liv."
He leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth. "How are you feeling?"
"Weird… I know this is going to sound so out-of-pocket but over the past week or so I've developed this relationship with this child and it's just going to end and I'm going to miss her. It's nice to have another girl about. Not like I get to do fun stuff like braid unicorn hair through Noah's curls," she managed a smile.
Trevor chuckled, "I get it… when I'm outside of school and I build a rapport with some of the kids, it's a stronger bond and Kaci really needed us like parents. She didn't even flinch at my presence…"
"Noah told her about you on her birthday - that you and I are dating and that you guys were getting closer… so I think she understood that the only thing you wanted is for her to be okay and Noah trusted you, so I think that won points for you too."
He smiled. "Sometimes I wonder how I'd be if I became a Dad… I'd like to think I'd be a good, affectionate father…"
"You would be, I already know that."
He smiled and sighed with resignation. "I wish, I wish, I wish…"
"I'm sorry baby," she murmured, "if I were younger maybe…"
"I know, its okay. I have all my kids at school," he told her, "maybe one day I'll go back to working in lower elementary school. That was fun…"
Olivia smiled at him facing him and caressing his prickly face. "Do you really think you're too old?," he wondered.
"I think…" she paused, "I think I'm careful not to sucker myself in to wanting for another child. Noah is 14 and I kind of made my peace with things when Elliot left. If you and I decided we wanted a kid, it wouldn't be tomorrow, more time would have to pass, we'd have to establish ourselves as a couple… potentially Noah be 16 or 17 and then I think that's too old and not fair to Noah either especially now knowing how it felt for him when he overheard me talking to Elliot about having a baby."
"That's fair," Trevor said with a nod, "I just needed to be clear if its fully off the table or something that you might want to talk about in the future."
"I'll never say never," she told him, "but I would tell you that if you need children, then don't wait for me."
"No, this is not one of those conversations… I've already made my peace with not having kids when Lana passed and its okay, its just sometimes I wonder what life might have been like now."
"Its okay to feel like that…"
He nodded, "I know," he said quietly. He opened up his arm and let her crawl closer. He stared at the ceiling, absently caressing her bare arms. "But… I meant it when I said that I'm so sure about you, Olivia," he turned his head to face her, "it's a bitter-sweet knife-in-my-soul type feeling because I thought Lana was my forever; my soul mate… and then I met you and I have never felt this type of right with any other woman and obviously there's guilt involved in that feeling."
"Do you really mean that? Or do you think that's something you're trying to convince yourself of?," she asked carefully, not wanting to start an argument, but before she fell hook, line and sinker, she also wanted to be sure that he wasn't tricking himself.
He rolled over her, straddling her. He took her face in his hands, smoothing her cheeks with his thumbs, letting his fingers tangle at the hair behind her head. "Don't ask me that ever again," he told here firmly and kindly as he kissed both of her cheeks and then her nose before settling against her lips lingering for a spell longer than usual. "I would never say something like that if I wasn't sure. I just can't even begin to explain the way that I feel about you, it runs so deep and by extension this child of yours…" he smiled, "if I never get to be a father biologically, it'll be enough to have this amazing kid in my life that I get to do Dad stuff for for the rest of my life."
Olivia searched his eyes and could see how sincere and genuine his words were. "I love you," she whispered, full of emotion. "I love you so much, it's fucking insane," she admitted.
He laughed, "I wanted to ask you something… but I know you'll have to discuss it at great lengths with Noah before you can answer— but…" he felt nervous for a moment, "how do you feel about moving in together?"
"What!" Olivia grinned, "really?"
He nodded, "Yeah… I don't care if we move in here or move in to your place or get a new place together— I just find it really sad when I go home on my own and I'm not near you or Noah… I like to be close to you both, just being in your presence has a calming affect on me and hopefully it's the same for you both too."
She nodded slowly. "I like that idea of moving in together… maybe we should look for a new place together and keep both of our apartments to rent or something."
"Yes!," he told her excitedly, "and that would feel like equal playing ground for everyone. You could bring furniture from your place, I could bring some from here — or we could get new stuff, I just want to wake up beside you every single day."
"Me too," she admitted. "Let's do it, I am sure Noah is going to actually love that idea, baby," she told him, "let's do it."
/
"So let me get this straight, you're with this little loser's mother and suddenly he has a spot on the team," Peter aggressively ranted outside of the change rooms before practice. Noah put his head down, embarrassed. Trevor rose his eyebrow and took a step toward the tall teenager.
"The only thing you can get straight, is that if you ever take that tone with me again, you will be kicked off this team so damn fast that you won't know what's happening. There is no nepotism in this team, Noah earned his place just like everyone else and you of all people should understand just how fair I am, Mr. Blasko. You should have been booted off this team 10 times over."
He turned to the rest of the team. "Is there anyone else that has any problems with the way I run our team?"
A silent hush fell over everyone. "Great. I want you all to to give me some laps and when I think it's enough, I'll blow my whistle and we'll get working on your passing and ducking and weaving so you're going to need a partner."
He blew his whistle three times until they all took off from one end of the football field and back as he set up the equipment for their tackle practice and for throwing the ball. He was so frustrated with Peter Blasko that he was going to chat to the principal and started to consider throwing him off the team. He knew it would mean all the kids would have to work a little harder, but he was running out of options.
The other alternative, he thought, was to suspend him for the first three or four games of the season.
/
"Fuckkkk this," Olivia exploded. "I hate it here some days," she told Carisi as she read the report that came through. "Come on, we have to go now…there's a seven year old and they think maybe a 9 or 10 year old."
Sonny sighed heavily. "Why does this always happen right when I'm getting ready to leave…"
They both got in the car downstairs and headed off to the address. Olivia let Sonny drive while she made a phone call to Trevor. He answered after the 4th ring. "Hey baby," he greeted her.
"Hey sorry to call you in the middle of training," she apologised.
"No, no it's okay, they're all being little shits today, I have them running laps," he sounded irate. "How are you going? Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I'm really sorry to do this but I've just been called out to a job. I'm with Sonny and we're not sure if we're about to walk in to a 20 minute job or a 6 hour job, but either way I'll keep you updated as to when I'll be back. Are you okay with Noah?"
"Yes love, of course. I'll organise Noah and I. You focus on work. We'll pick up Ruby and go to your place tonight, I think."
"Okay thank you so much, you're the best and I do love you so much," she smiled softly. She felt Carisi smirking, pushing her gently. She hit him back.
"I love you too… wish me luck with Peter Blasko today, this kid is about to see his ass off the team," he muttered.
"Ooft, maybe it should be good luck to Peter Blasko," she joked despite being able to hear the frustration in his tone.
"Okay, I'll let you go baby, don't go too hard on the boys, not if they don't deserve it. Uplifting Trevor will be far more successful than angry Coach Trevor… especially if it's only a few kids who are testing you."
"True, thanks Liv, you're right. Ok, say hi to Sonny for me. See you tonight, love you."
"Love you too, bye," she replied, hanging up.
"Wow, you two are so sweet," Sonny teased her, "when's the wedding?"
Olivia laughed and rolled her eyes, "I don't know, but we are talking about moving in together actually… he's at our apartment enough. I just have to discuss it with Noah."
"Wow so this is very, very official?"
"Looks to be," Olivia smiled at him, trying hard to hold her grin in. She gave up and let it go. "I'm happy," she told him finally, "and I think that he's exactly who he says he is."
"I think he is too," Sonny agreed, "And I want this for you so much, Liv."
"Thank you," she replied. "I appreciate that. It just feels… I don't know… healthy?"
Sonny nodded. "That's all Amanda and I want for you. Something real, something two-ways and something healthy for both you and Noah."
"Noah just loves him," she gushed. "He's so good to him too. He makes time to spend with him all the time. They went to the football, I'm sure Noah told you about it…"
Sonny laughed, "Oh, I copped an earful about why he and I had never been," he chuckled, "he really loved it. He told me that Trevor took him to buy something for Kaci… that was nice."
"Yeah I bet he left out the part where Trevor insisted on paying because Noah was short and then he was embarrassed and so touched by Trevor's kindness in the car that he cried and told Trevor he loved him."
"Awww Liv, I love that kid's heart, that's so beautiful."
Liv smiled as they pulled up at the job. There was a circle of police cars and a man apprehended at the vehicle. "You want to take the uniforms? I'll go and check out what we're dealing with victim-wise?"
"Sounds good. I won't be long."
Olivia headed in to the brownstone past the police who meandered in the hall looking for evidence and combing over areas. "Where are the victims?," she asked someone. They pointed further down the hall. She made her way through the kitchen and dining area to the living room. She saw an older girl, maybe a little younger than Noah and a boy who was younger again — around 8-ish. They both looked like they were hungry and dirty and hadn't seen daylight in months.
She glanced at the uniformed officer and gave her a small smile. "Olivia Benson," she introduced herself.
"Oh, Special Vics?"
"Yeah," she nodded. She crouched down before the couch where both kids were sitting looking almost impossibly thin. "Who do we have here, guys?," she asked them gently, "I'm Liv…"
"I'm Tommy," said the little boy. The girl murmured her name so softly that Liv couldn't hear.
Olivia leaned in closer, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't hear you."
"Izzy," she said a tiny bit louder.
"Okay Izzy and Tommy - beautiful names. I'm here to help today… are you able to tell me where Mom and Dad are, Izzy?"
She shook her head. Her eyes were vacant and Olivia had seen that look far too many times; shame was gone and along with it part of this child's soul. She took a slow deep breath in. "I don't remember my Mom… Jedd brought Tommy to me as a surprise because I needed a friend to play with," she explained.
Olivia felt her stomach clench. She glanced over at Tommy, ignoring the ache in her haunches from crouching down so low. Tommy was looking over at a closet space, continually darting to the one spot. "Tommy? Do you remember Mom or Dad?," she glanced over at the direction of the closet space. She saw Izzy very gently elbow Tommy beside her.
Tommy looked back at Olivia and shrugged, "Mommy didn't want me anymore. She left me in the car when she went to get some soda and snacks and left me for Jedd."
"Oh honey, I am sure that's not true, we're going to get in contact with both of your Mommies and see what we can find out…" She glanced to the closet space. "Is there something I should know about the closet?"
The girl shook her head, "no, no…"
Olivia got to her feet and headed over slowly, pulling her gun to make sure there was no one hiding inside. She took a few steps inside the space with the back-up of a uniformed officer. Once clear, she looked around at the empty room save for a few outfits that she really didn't want to think too hard about.
A large rectangle shaped laundry basket tucked under a shelf covered in a thin, dirty old sheet. Olivia got to her knees and reached for the basket, realising there was quite a bit of weight to it. She slid it out and pulled the sheet off. Her breath caught as she saw a tiny, little girl inside the basket, sleeping soundly.
"Oh sweetheart…" she murmured, scooping her out. The child stirred a little and began to grizzle. "Its okay, I've got you…" she cuddled her close, bouncing her gently until she went back to sleep.
She was met in the door way by Carisi who looked shocked. "You found another child?"
She nodded, "the kids were hiding her for some reason…"
"Jedd Baker has had these kids locked up for goodness knows how long - he's not talking but neighbours said there was a teenager who Jedd told them was his eldest daughter, but there was an altercation yesterday morning, the older teenager escaped and he caught up with her in the front yard and the neighbour said it didn't seem like it was a father-daughter relationship. He drove off with her last night and came back this morning and thanks to our nosey neighbour, she discovered these kids — apparently has never seen them before."
"I think they've been kidnapped," Olivia explained to Sonny. "Look at them," she nodded, "they look emaciated and dirty, this one doesn't smell great either," she murmured. She made her way to the other two kids. "Hey guys, does this little one have a name?," she wondered.
"Her real name or her pretend name?," Izzy asked her a little sheepishly.
"Her real name," Olivia pressed.
"Jedd said her name was Rebecca but Kira said that when Jedd wasn't here we call her Alexa- Lexi," the girl explained.
Sonny and Olivia exchanged confused expressions. "Wait, who is Kira? Is that Jedd's daughter?"
"She was our big sister, that's what Jedd said — Kira tried to run away to get help for Lexi, Jedd gave her the baby and he said he had to punish her," she continued.
"Oh… did Kira have Lexi in her tummy or did Jedd bring her home the way he brought Tommy home?," she wanted to know.
"In her tummy for a long time," Tommy replied. "She got sick and then Lexi came and Jedd had to take her to the hospital for awhile."
"When did you last see Kira?" Sonny asked the kids.
"Yesterday," Izzy replied, "Jedd was angry and said she needed to be punished, he hurt her," Olivia looked at the forlorn little girl who's eyes glistened with tears. "It's okay, honey…" Olivia consoled her, sitting down beside her, putting an arm around her. "You're okay, we're going to find your Mom for you. My friend here, Sonny and I, we're going to take you back to the hospital and get you something to eat and find something warm for you both to put on and we can help clean up a little, how does that sound?"
Both kids nodded. "Okay great, I'm going to hold on to baby Lexi, do you know how many birthday's Lexi has had?"
"One," Izzy replied, "but Kira said it was almost time for her second birthday."
"Thank you," Liv smiled.
"How long do you think it's been since you guys have had a decent dinner?"
Both kids shrugged. "Okay, come on, let's get you guys checked out. Are either of you hurt anywhere?," Sonny asked. Olivia could tell immediately when Izzy lowered her eyes that she wasn't open to discussing the questions she would need to ask later.
She and Sonny took the kids out to the bus that was waiting after Jedd Baker had been taken for questioning.
"You wanna ride with the kids?" Sonny asked; they all knew that Olivia was always much better at dealing with the children.
"There's not enough room, we probably can only fit the three… we might have to call another bus," the paramedic told them gently.
"Uhh… what if…" Sonny thought for a moment, "what if the two older kids get checked out and if they're fit, they can ride in the car with me and Captain Benson can ride with the baby."
Olivia nodded with agreement, "Yeah we could do that." She looked at the kids, "Detective Sonny will be able to take you to the hospital and I can go with Lexi, would that be okay?," she knew if she left them alone they would have felt abandoned yet again.
Tommy and Izzy exchanged looks and nodded. "Okay," Izzy agreed.
They sat for the paramedic as she looked them over thoroughly. The two older kids were given the all-clear. Olivia handed over Lexi and climbed in to the back of the truck and promised they'd meet them at the hospital. As soon as the paramedic took Lexi, she began to scream.
"Oh, it's okay sweetie, just a second…" Olivia soothed her, getting in to her seat. The paramedic passed Lexi back over to her. She wrapped her arms back around the detective and cried softly.
The paramedic sat across from her and listened to the baby's heart. "She sounds like she's got some crackling in her chest, maybe a lingering respiratory infection… I think she's okay. The doctor at the hospital may want to do a chest x-ray to make sure there's no distress."
Olivia nodded, stroking her hair, "poor sweetheart," she murmured, kissing her temple.
She made small talk with the paramedic until they arrived. Sonny met her at the ER entry, guiding the children inside, placing a hand gently upon their shoulders. "Come on, guys…" he told them. Izzy halted, digging her heels in, "I don't want to go in there," she told him, "I can't."
"Its okay, honey, we're going to stay with you," she told her, "you have nothing to be scared of, I promise."
Izzy looked up at Olivia, unconvinced, tears surfacing, covering her eyes with a clear film. "I don't want to," she whispered.
Olivia shifted the baby to one side of her hip. She reached for the little girl's hand. "What if I promise to hold your hand the whole time? I won't go anywhere, I promise you. I will stay with you when the doctors examine you properly and I will make sure you have a nice bath and some fresh clothes and I will ask you some questions and maybe Sonny can stay with Tommy too."
"Okay…" she replied, grabbing on to Olivia's hand with both of her own.
"Good girl, come on," she glanced at Sonny and gave him a smile. They walked in together and reported to the triage nurse who ushered them in to two separate cubicles. "Liv," Izzy looked at her, "my tummy is really hungry," she told her softly.
"Okay, I promise I'll make sure you get something to eat in just a second," she promised. Her arms were beginning to hurt from holding baby Lexi. She laid the sleeping child down upon the hospital bed and picked up the hospital gown. "Honey, would you like some help putting on this gown?"
The girl nodded. "How old are you, Izzy?" Liv asked as she helped pull a grubby sweatshirt over her head. She wore a little camisole beneath. Olivia tried not to react to the hand marks and perfect finger bruises around Izzy's upper arms. She had bruises that littered her collarbones which indicated physical abuse. She said nothing.
"I'm 11," she replied, going to take the gown from Olivia.
"Honey, we're gonna take this one off too," she nodded to the camisole, "and I'm going to make sure I get a female doctor to come and see you, okay?"
Izzy looked immediately alarmed. "Its okay," Liv promised her, "I will keep you safe and no one is going to hurt you."
"I have an idea, we'll put the gown on and then we can take the camisole off so you can have some privacy, is that okay?"
Izzy finally nodded. Olivia helped her extricate the camisole from beneath the gown and had her remove what looked to be pajama pants. Olivia picked up the baby again so Izzy could get in to bed. "Can you put Lexi next to me? Sometimes Kira let me sleep next to them."
"Of course, sweetheart." She laid the baby down beside her and pulled the bed rails up. Olivia plucked her phone out and glanced at Izzy. "I just have to make a quick phone call, okay?"
The girl nodded. Olivia pressed call on Noah's phone, "Hi honey," she greeted him, "I'm really late, I know."
"It's okay Mom," Noah replied, "Trevor and I just saw you on the news, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just a little held up. How was training?"
"Good Mom, we ordered some food for dinner, there's some pad Thai in the refrigerator if you get home after we go to bed."
"Hopefully I won't be, but that sounds so good right now. K babe, I gotta go," she told him, looking up to the male doctor who pulled the curtain back as though he were opening a window in the morning.
"K love you,"
"Love you too," she replied, hanging up. "Uhh hi, do you mind being a little less aggressive, I have a special patient," she showed her detective badge. The doctor didn't say much, he mumbled an apology. "I'm Captain Olivia Benson of SVU, I'm going to require a female doctor for a trauma patient, sorry."
He held up his hands, "no, no that's okay," he glanced at Izzy. "I understand," he turned his eyes back to Olivia, "is she in any pain or does she need anything immediately? It might be a few minutes before I can get someone."
"Some food and something to drink would be amazing… I suspect it's been some time so maybe something light to start."
The doctor gave a little smile and a nod. "Of course. Another patient is a few cubicles down and I suspect would require something to eat and drink too. He's with another detective."
"Okay, I'll take care of that and bare with me while I get another doctor."
"Thank you," Olivia smiled, watching as the doctor pulled the curtain closed with gentleness.
/
A little over half an hour later Izzy had some watered down juice and a few sandwich portions with the promise of something else as soon as she had been examined. The doctor was lovely, Olivia was grateful for the safety that the child felt immediately from her warmth and softness. "Do we think the uh… trauma extends to the baby?" Dr Chowdry asked.
"I don't know, honestly, I can only hope not," Liv replied.
Olivia had gently questioned Izzy before the doctor had arrived on the extent of her injuries and had ascertained that perhaps a rape kit was necessary. She explained the difference to the child of good touching and bad touching, framing a doctor's exam as good-touching, for the health and healing. New York law still allowed Izzy to make a decision based on informed-consent.
"Beautiful girl, Dr. Chowdry is going to examine you now, okay?" Izzy took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm going to stay right here with you just like I promised and Dr. Chowdry will explain everything before she does it."
The doctor smiled at her. "First I'm going to just listen to your chest with my stethoscope and I will clean up some of your cuts."
"Okay," Izzy agreed.
Olivia sat by and watched on, asking Izzy some questions about how she could remember about her Mom.
A nurse pushed a cart in to the room which was going to be the real test of how calm she could keep the young girl. The doctor sat on the edge of the bed and took Izzy's hand and slowly and carefully gave her informed consent of a sex assault exam. She looked over to Olivia for her approval. "Honey, its okay to be scared," she told her, "but Dr. Chowdry is trying to make sure you haven't been hurt and the whole time Dr. Chowdry will explain to you and warn you before she is going to do anything."
Izzy nodded. "We're going to make sure Jedd doesn't come near you or Tommy or Lexi ever again so that you never, ever get hurt."
/
Olivia was exhausted. It was nearly 9pm when she finally left the hospital. She found herself getting emotional when she had to hand over the children and the baby to Children's Services. She knew she would be up late using all of the information she had gathered to find the children's parents. She had a headache and felt sad about the baby who had screamed and cried when she was taken. She couldn't help but to wonder what would happen to her once Izzy and Tommy had found their families.
She closed the door behind her, taking a big deep breath as Ruby greeted her excitedly. Olivia was able to smile and cuddled the dog who jumped up on to her. "Down you get, honey…" she pushed her off after a quick gift of affection. Ruby ran ahead as if she wanted to be the first to alert Trevor and Noah that Olivia had arrived.
"Hey Mom," Noah smiled, looking up from the couch. Trevor smiled and stood up, "hey sweetie, how are you going?"
"I'm fine," she replied flatly, "how are you guys?"
"We're good…" Trevor could tell immediately that she wasn't fine. He kissed her cheek and gave her a hug. "Why don't you go have a shower and I'll heat up your dinner and get you a drink."
"Thanks," she murmured. She turned to Noah and made her way toward him, kissing his forehead. "How was your day, babe?"
"Good, Mom, you look sad," he remarked, sitting up. "Was it hard with those kids that they found?"
"Yeah," she admitted, "I had to go to the hospital with them while they got checked out."
"They said you guys found the baby in a laundry basket in the closet, maybe she's my sister," he joked.
Olivia smiled briefly, "very funny."
"Well, you should relax Mom, have a shower like Trevor said, maybe you'll feel better after you eat something and hang out with us," he smiled.
"I'm sure I will, I'll be back soon."
/
"I hate when kids get taken by CPS, I know they need to be, but… I don't like the not knowing but sometimes calling to get tabs on them works out to be worse, especially when they get juggled around foster care."
"What about this case makes it harder than all the others?," Trevor wondered as they got in to bed.
"The baby's mom was murdered. The Mom was obviously kidnapped and held for a long time, certainly long enough for the assailant to make her a mother and do goodness knows what else to the younger ones… the fear on that little girl's face when I arrived, she was just soulless and empty. Thats what men like that do…. And its without remorse or a single thread of regret."
"I'm sorry," Trevor murmured. "I can't imagine what that's like."
"You saw it on a tiny scale with Kaci…" her voice trailed off. "The baby doesn't have a mother or a father and is going to go in to life of foster care and I hate that, foster care can be amazing, but it can also be trauma inducing…"
She sighed, "I'm sorry, you don't want to hear about this…"
"Its okay, Liv, you can talk to me about it, I just… I might not know exactly what to say," he replied, watching her take another mouthful of the chicken pad Thai. She rubbed her eyes and sighed.
"I guess I'm just having a hard time switching off. This happens more than I probably let on, I've never really had anyone here to talk it through with, but I understand it's really heavy and I have to be aware that not everyone is built to hear about this level of abuse and it's not fair for me to put this on you."
"Liv," Trevor tried to interrupt twice but she continued.
"Mom!" Noah exclaimed. She hadn't even noticed that he had entered the dining room. She looked up, "Mom stop, you had a bad night, its okay to talk about it— you always tell us to talk it out when we feel angry or sad or something…" her son interrupted, taking a seat at the table.
Olivia reached out and placed her hand on Noah's arm. "Honey, I don't really think I want you to hear about this one nor Trevor for that matter."
"But Noah is right, you always listen to us when we have things going on and maybe the details might be a bit hard for both of us to hear because we are certainly not used to it, you can definitely tell us how you're feeling and what we can do to help cheer you up or get your mind off it."
Olivia put her fork down and tried to hold her tears back. "Oh no," Noah smiled, "she's going to cry, aww, Mom." He got up from his seat before Trevor could and wrapped his arms around her. "Its okay, we saw the news and we heard some of the details, those kids were so lucky to have you and Uncle Sonny there." He rubbed his Mom's back and Olivia couldn't help but to feel so blessed to have such a sweet son who genuinely cared about others.
"Noah is right, Liv." Trevor scooted his chair around a little til he could reach her. She tried to brush her own tears away but the sweetness of the two men in her life only made her cry more.
"I love you both so much," she uttered.
"We love you too, Mom," Noah told her kissing her temple. "Now stop crying and eat your dinner," he joked.
Olivia managed to snort a little spell of laughter- it was always her son's go-to when he saw her crying, to tolerate it for a short period of time before telling her to stop. She knew he didn't mean it, that it was just a joke — that Noah understood that she had plenty of reasons to cry.
Trevor reached over and brushed away her tears with his thumb, cupping her cheek in his head. "I love you, sweetie, you can talk yourself around this as much as you want, I'm not going anywhere and you can cry if you need to, we're not judging."
"I am judging; just a little," Noah joked; he knew the way to make his Mom laugh. Trevor gave him a warning look but he shrugged. "Mom knows I'm kidding, don't you, Mom?"
Olivia glanced at him and nodded with a little smile as she wiped her other cheek. "Yeah… thanks guys…"
"Are the kids okay now?" Noah asked.
"We'll find the parents for the two older ones…" she replied to her son, "not sure about the baby, her father was the man that got arrested and we're not sure what happened to the mother, we don't think she's alive anymore."
"Oh…" he frowned. "Well, maybe we could look after her, I was joking before, but… if she doesn't belong to anyone-"
"Honey, it's not that simple," Olivia replied, "we can't just bring the children we find home — imagine how hard it would be to get attached not just for us but also for the baby and then when they find a suitable home for her, we'd never want to say goodbye."
Noah held back what he wanted to say, sensing it wasn't appropriate. "Don't you think it's kind of … wild that you found me in a drawer with two other kids in the house and then you found this baby in a laundry basket also with two other kids in the house? I know you don't believe in coincidences."
Trevor wasn't sure what Noah was getting at, but Olivia eyed him. "In this case, I think it is a coincidence. I think there are a lot of shitty, depraved people out there doing harm to others. I just hope baby Lexi gets a wonderful home full of love."
Noah never said anything else, "Me too," he agreed.
"Maybe you should find out in a few weeks, Liv, it might make you feel a lot better about it."
She nodded. She picked up her fork and pushed the food around a little more. She finally realised she wasn't that hungry. She picked up her drink and took a few generous mouthfuls letting the alcohol rest for a second. "I think I might just need to watch TV with my two favourite boys. I'm not really that hungry. I can eat the leftovers tomorrow for lunch."
"Maybe we could watch something relaxing," Trevor told her, "you can be remote commando tonight."
"Thanks guys…"
"Let me take your plate. Would you like a refill of your drink?"
"No, its fine, I might just get a water bottle," she replied.
"Okay you and Noah go get comfortable and I'll get your water bottle. I'll join you both in a second."
"No, its okay I can do it." Trevor got up and took her plate, "no sweetie, its okay, you've had such a long day, go relax, I've got this."
Olivia couldn't help but to smile. "Come on Mom," Noah added, "I'll get your water bottle," he smiled, "go get comfortable on the couch."
She felt so loved as she got up from her spot and kissed Trevor on the cheek. "Thank you."
He turned back to her and returned her kiss, catching her lips. "Love you," he replied as she made her way in to the living room. She curled in to the corner of couch. Noah returned a few moments later with her water bottle. "Here, Mom," he handed it to her.
"Thanks babe, you're the best."
He smiled. He went to the arm chair where he usually sprawled out and grabbed the throw blanket and unfolded it and spread it out over her. "Oh, sweetheart…" she smiled right back at him, "you are too much."
Noah shrugged, "you've had a terrible day. I hope tomorrow is better, Mom."
"Thank you, you're the best kid…" he leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"I love you," he told her.
Her heart felt full. "I love you right back, kiddo."
/
"Yo! I saw your Mom on the news last night, Benson!" Ryan called out to Noah from across the hall as he was leaving his last period, desperately feeling the pull of Kaci's absence after having to experience Adam and Katie all over each other. He hated feeling like a third-wheel.
"Great," he replied in monotone. He tried to ignore them in his periphery coming closer.
"Ignore them, Noah." Adam told him, "they're not worth it."
"How is it your Mom is getting hotter with age?" Peter asked him, making a thrusting motion. "No wonder Coach Langan went after her tale, I wouldn't mind hitting that."
"Fuck off," Noah replied, feeling his anger rising.
Ryan went to take a step toward him but Peter stopped him. "Leave the little baby alone, wouldn't want him to send the police around to our houses again," he chuckled. "Interesting though, right Benson? Mommy found another baby… I wonder if this one was brought in to the world by a dirty rapist just like your Daddy…"
"Fuck off, you don't know anything about my father."
Peter began to laugh, "No? I know he ran a sex trafficking ring and your real Mommy would have sold you off for another high, why do you think you were abandoned in a fucking drawer?" Ryan erupted in to a burst of laughter and Noah could feel his face growing red and hot with shame as people stopped to stare.
"That's not even close to the truth-"
"But it is, or did your Mom feed you some bullshit story about being delivered by stork? Its all there on google, Dad was a rapist, sex trafficker, probably a pedophile too, Mom was a junkie-"
"That's enough Peter," a random kid told him, "leave Noah alone. He's done nothing to you."
Peter glanced over his shoulder and sneered at the student.
"Don't worry about him, he's just trying to make you feel bad to take away the fact that he feels so terribly about his own bullshit insecure life."
Ryan and Peter began to laugh.
"My Mom doesn't lie to me, you guys are just assholes, leave me alone."
"Turns out Mommy does fib so her little precious feels good about himself — hey do you call Langan Daddy yet, or is that just your Mom that does that?"
Noah slammed his locker and slung his bag over his shoulder and headed down the opposite end of the corridor before anyone could see his face heating up, upset and needing to know why they would say such awful things about his biological parents.
Once he left the school grounds he put his earphones on and turned on his favourite album and found himself running. He wasn't sure why, but it felt good. Deep down, he knew he was going to have to do that search just to assure himself, but he promised that he would talk to his Mom about Peter and Ryan. He'd had enough and didn't know what else he could do to stop their behaviour.
He got in and realised with frustration that he was supposed to wait for Trevor to give him a ride. He texted him and told him he decided to walk. Trevor was going back to his own place and Olivia was due home shortly. He threw his bag in his bedroom and went to sit on the couch with a soda, kicking off his shoes and deciding to just play the x-box for awhile til Olivia got home if only to relax after his frustration at school.
He headed to his room after a little while, receiving a text from his Mom letting him know she was about to leave work. He sat on his bed and opened his laptop up and began to search for his own name. At first nothing came up but he searched his Mom's name and a couple of different terms before finally it all unfolded before him.
Johnny Drake shot to death in dramatic court proceeding leaving one officer dead and others injured
Federal criminal Johnny Drake (otherwise known as Johnny D) has been killed in a dramatic courtroom shoot-out. Drake was attempting to obtain custody of his son, Noah Benson, adopted son of Special Victim's detective Olivia Benson.
The dramatic turn of events occurred after Benson was put on the stand to defend her actions of pursuing the sex-trafficking murderer who was responsible for trafficking hundreds of women for the past two decades. Responsible for selling off a woman who he raped and impregnated and later being an accomplice to murder, Drake has been in federal crimes prison. It is thought that the fight for visitation of his biological son was merely an attempt to shorten his prison sentence.
When a witness of the defence took the stand, the courtroom erupted in to a confusing chorus of accusations against the victim-turned-witness - Drake took advantage of the tumultuous situation and obtained a gun, shooting an officer to death and attempted to take another hostage. Detective Nick Amaro, who worked Drake's original case was shot in the liver and the knee but fired two shots in response that ended Drake's life on the scene.
Noah sat, staring at the screen, his mouth agape.
He couldn't have felt more shocked and betrayed in his entire life.
Olivia had always been open about his adoption, open about his biological mother but had always assured him that his father had passed but always loved him. He was furious that the information was all over the internet and easy to be found leaving him open to the cruelty of others without his knowledge.
He felt his eyes spilling over with tears.
He finally understood now where all the feelings of darkness came from; why sometimes his fury and his anger came from. It was his biological father — what if… he really wanted to talk to Kaci; Sonny — anyone.
He didn't want to see Olivia, his fury was so blinding that he wasn't sure he could be understanding about her lies by omission.
It was too late though — he heard the unlocking of the door followed by another voice besides his mother. He realised Trevor was with her; the anger only seemed to build.
"Noah?" Olivia called. "Are you in your room? Trevor and I are home."
He said nothing but snapped his laptop shut, seething, trying to quickly figure out what to do. He didn't want to yell and scream at her but actually, it was the only thing he wanted to do.
Maybe that was something he could thank his biological father for, his inability to not take his anger to a 10 in just seconds. What if he had the capacity to for his anger to turn in to other violent actions?
He felt his anxiety rising along with his tears.
Olivia pushed open his bedroom door and stuck her head in. "Honey? What's wrong?," she asked.
Noah shook his head slowly. "Leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you," he said quietly.
"What? Noah, what's wrong? What happened?"
"Get out!," he snapped, looking up at her with fire in his eyes. Olivia recoiled. "Get out!," he shouted, "leave me the fuck alone!"
"Noah, don't you dare speak-"
"GET OUT!," he screamed at her.
Olivia stared at him for a moment, taking a deep breath, trying to figure out what had happened. Not wanting the situation to escalate, she simply pulled the door shut with shaky hands, glancing up at Trevor who looked just as shocked as she felt.
