HEHEHEHEHE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK :P
"So what's the surprise?" Kaci asked, a little impatiently as they neared Noah's apartment.
"Well, there's been some changes at my place and I have really wanted to tell you about it all but Mom and Trevor wanted me to just wait in case something changed at the last minute… I don't know," he shrugged and smiled at Kaci, "maybe it isn't that exciting but it is to me…"
"Well, if it's exciting and important to you, then it's important to me," she smiled back. She still had some bruising around her eye and some of her facial injuries were still healing so she wasn't comfortable coming back to school yet.
"You look really cute today," Noah told her, his eyes lingering over her for a moment. She was wearing a cute pink knit-sweater with a cute over-the-shoulder bag that was in the shape of a pink heart and her favourite black jeans that her grandma bought for her that she knew her father would have never approve of.
"Thanks Noah," she ducked her head with bashfulness, "I feel weird about the way I look since … you know."
"You have nothing to worry about," Noah told her, motioning to the building that he lived in, "you look beautiful."
"I'm not sure if some of the cuts will heal-" she countered as he opened the door for her; the doorman waved at Noah, greeting him. "Hello!" Noah happily greeted him back.
"I don't care if your cuts heal or not," Noah told her as he pressed the button for the lift. He turned to face her, "you're beautiful no matter what."
The doors to the lift opened and Noah took her hand and pulled her in. He hit the floor number that he lived on and smiled awkwardly at Kaci. "Can I give you a hug? You sound like you need one, you're worried about things that don't matter."
She frowned, "but they matter to me," she said quietly. "I don't want everyone to know what happened or to have to explain myself."
"Oh…" he murmured, "I'm sorry, Kace, that was kind of insensitive of me. It's not about me and I'm sure you don't care what I think."
"I do care what you think," the lift made a ding as they stepped out in to the hall. Noah took her hand and pulled her against the wall so they could talk in private for a second.
"Kaci, I think your friends, us, Adam and Katie and I - we know what happened and we'll never tell a soul and you told me that your Mom said to tell them that there was an accident if asked, but… you could also just say its no one's business and I'll be behind you."
"Maybe…" she shrugged, "thanks for saying all those nice things to me Noah, it does help," she smiled.
"You're welcome. I mean it."
"Okay, sorry to be a drainer — let's go and you can show me this exciting thing that's happening for you."
Noah smiled. "Can I still give you a hug?"
"Yeah," Kaci nodded. She stepped toward Noah and let him hold her close to him for a moment. Noah closed his eyes and embraced the girl he liked so much. He was careful not to hold her too tightly, aware of her cracked ribs that were still tender and needed to be careful.
He pulled away first, creating a little distance. He really wanted to kiss her again. He had kissed her the first time on her birthday — it was awkward and he'd wanted to try again, but he was worried. Before he had the chance, Kaci let go of him; she felt the same, the urge to kiss but was sure Noah wasn't picking up on her sheer will for him to make the first move.
He opened the door of his apartment and put his school bag down. "Mom, I'm home with Kaci," he called out.
"Hey guys, we're just in the living room."
"Welcome to our place. Come on, follow me." He didn't let Kaci say a word, he led her down toward the living room where both Trevor and his Mom were sitting on the floor on a soft baby mat that Raia had given them.
"Hiiii honey!" Olivia waved, "how are you?"
"Hi Liv!" She glanced at Trevor, "Hi Mr. Langan,"
"Trevor," he corrected her, "you look so lovely," he remarked.
"Thank you," she murmured. "Who's this?," she asked, nodding toward Lexi.
Noah had already scooped her up and cuddled her, missing her all day while he was at school. "This is Lexi, Lexi, I want you to meet my very good friend, Kaci!"
Kaci grinned at the toddler, "Hi cutie!"
"Lexi is our newest family member," Noah told her, "Mom, Trevor and I—- we're temporarily fostering her, but we might be able to adopt, right Mom?" Noah asked Liv.
"Yeah, that's the hope," she replied, exchanging glances with Trevor. They both smiled knowingly, having already decided in private to move forward with the adoption process.
"Ohhhh that's soooo exciting, Hi Lexi!" Kaci gushed, "how are you?" She gently took her tiny hand and shook it. "You are so lucky to have a big brother like Noah and a Daddy and Mommy like Olivia and Trevor, you're gonna love it!"
Noah grinned at her. "Ohhhh, she's so cute," Kaci smiled at Noah as Lexi babbled toward her.
"Do you want to come and play with her with me on the floor?" Noah asked his friend, "Lex and I usually play for awhile when I get home from work."
"Of course!" Kaci nodded, "you're so lucky! I always wanted a sibling."
"You can come over and have girl time with Lexi whenever you like, honey," Olivia told her with a little smile. "If you guys are going to take over here, Trevor and I might go make some dinner."
"Okay Mom,"
/
"I think let's just order something for dinner. I am so tired and you must be as well…" Olivia told Trevor. It had been a rough night with Lexi getting out of her bed. They had regretted their choice not to go with a crib for awhile. She cried and screamed for someone, still getting used to her bedroom and being away from the familiarity of the two children who were taking care of her.
At 3am Trevor gave up trying to get her to settle. He carried her around, pacing with her and bouncing her in their bedroom while Olivia warmed some milk and took her briefly to change her diaper.
Finally they got back to sleep at almost 5am with Lexi between them — a habit neither were too happy about and didn't want to get in to.
"Yeah, that's fine… I hope she sleeps better tonight, I almost nodded off in my commerce elective and the kids thought it was funny to take videos of me nodding off and sent them to me."
Olivia laughed, "Sorry, but that's kind of funny, show me! It sounds like you didn't almost nod off."
Trevor laughed and passed her his phone. She went through the messages, the students had all bombed him with videos at the same time. She began to laugh at one of them zoomed right in to his face. "Oh you poor thing, you look so tired. Maybe if she sleeps badly again tonight, I'll take her in to her room and stay with her in her bed."
"Noooo," he shook his head, "no I don't want to have that relationship where you end up having to sleep separately. We're in this together, we just have to persevere. Eventually she'll start feeling safer during bed times and we'll all get sleep, it's just a phase, I promise."
Olivia put his phone down on the counter. "Okay, I just feel bad because I am home most of the day at the moment and you have to go to work and try to have the energy not to be the grouchy teacher."
He slide his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him and kissed her lips. "This is a joint role, Liv, and I can't tell you how much I enjoy getting up to see her in the middle of the night sometimes. I just want us to enjoy this time together despite being tired."
"I love you so much, I am so glad to be doing this with you… even though I've had a funny stomach all day, I've still felt so much joy in being a Mom again."
He kissed her softly again, "I love you too," he smoothed her hair. "Did you talk to Sarah? About the adoption process?"
She smiled up at him and took his stubbled cheeks in her hands, "yes my love," she murmured, sighing a little with contentedness, "she is getting the paperwork filed and I called Rafael to start work on our behalf."
He gave her a little squeeze. "I can't wait for Mom and Dad and Raia to meet her… I considered waiting for the adoption to go through but based on what Sarah said… I think we are her best bet right now, right?"
Olivia nodded, "Yeah… she is recommending us to the judge and based on how well I've done with Noah, how well things are going with Lexi and how safe our home and environment is, we are perfect candidates."
He closed his eyes and nodded thankfully, "Great… that's great."
"Are you sure your parents are on board?"
"Yes baby, I was surprised, I actually think Raia said something first… because they seemed less than surprised but you've met my parents, they are obsessed with grandkids, and they adore Noah. Mom asks about him every second day and Dad is so excited to come down and watch them play their friendly games."
Olivia laughed, "I am excited too. I am excited that Lexi will have a cousin her age and I'm excited to be Mommy. I keep saying it and I keep kicking myself…"
"Fuck it, let's just do it. I've had trouble referring to myself as Trevor, I wanna be Daddy. I want you to be Mommy, I want that so much."
Olivia grinned at him. "Okay," she murmured, "lets do it."
"Hey, by the way, why were you sick today?," he asked, cupping her cheek in his hand. "What happened?"
"Just overtired, I think. We managed a nap in the early afternoon for about 2 hrs and I did some research today and I need her to be calm for about thirty minutes before bed. So bath time and then some soft music and a cuddle with her milk and we tell her every time we leave that we'll see her when she wakes up… she needs to know that we're always going to be here, thats partially why she's constantly getting up in the night and freaking out."
"I hate that, that makes me feel so sad for her, I wish she could understand. I know it'll take time to build that trust, but it makes me hurt in the meantime."
"Me too, sweetheart," Liv agreed.
"It'll be okay and I'm glad you're feeling better. What about… if you go and have a nice long bath or something or take some time for yourself? The kids have little miss covered and I will see if Kaci would like to have dinner here and contact her grandparents to see if that's okay — and then we'll have a nice dinner."
"Oh, no… I want to spend time with my family," she replied, "but thanks… I appreciate that so much."
"Are you sure? Maybe you go and sleep early and I'll organise bath time then?"
"Trev, I love you so much, let's just let the kids play with Lexi. Maybe if anything I would love to go have a quick shower and wash my hair because goodness knows what I've got in it and I think that'll make me feel better."
"Okay okay," he held up his hands. "You go have your shower and I'll organise her dinner." He kissed her once more. "I love you too, by the way."
Olivia smiled and let go of him. She headed off down the hall to their bedroom.
"Hey guys-" Trevor stopped short and quickly whirled around from the living room, feeling incredibly bad, "sorry!," he apologised.
/
"Oh my goodness, no!" Kaci covered her face, "oh no, oh no, oh no. I have to go home."
"No, its okay," Noah sputtered, watching her face turn bright red. "Its okay, I promise, don't freak out. We didn't do anything wrong."
"We were kissed! Trevor walked in on us! We have your little sister and he'll be mad! Oh my gosh what was I thinking!?" She jumped to her feet.
"Kaci, no wait…"
/
"Liv," Trevor walked in to their bedroom as she was about to come out, "Liv, you need to go talk to Kaci," he told her, "I walked in on her and Noah kissing and she is absolutely freaking out."
"What!? Kissing? What kind of kissing? Lexi was with them!?"
"They were literally just touching lips, it was nothing, just an innocent peck on the lips, but I can hear her in there… please go say something I don't know what to say—" Trevor was freaking out too, "I feel so bad, I potentially messed up Noah's first kiss…."
"Shit!," she exclaimed, "okay, don't worry, I got you."
She threaded past him and back out to the living room. "Hey guys—" she interrupted. She smiled, "its okay, no one is upset, no one is angry, no one should be embarrassed, everything is fine."
"No, I'm sorry-" Kaci apologised, "I'm so sorry, I should go."
"Honey," Liv entered the living room and put her hands gently upon her shoulders, "honey look at me."
Kaci managed to look up, embarrassed. "Its okay," Liv smiled. "You guys weren't doing anything wrong. It's okay."
She watched Kaci's eyes fill with tears. "Oh, no sweetheart, don't get upset." She turned to Noah. "Honey can you please take Lexi in to the dining room and pop her in her high chair for dinner?"
"Sure…" he murmured, feeling helpless. He scooped up the toddler who was happily playing with her blocks.
"Kace," Olivia smiled, wiping away her tears gently, "you and Noah really like each other, that's no secret and its okay that you kissed if that's what you want. You weren't doing anything inappropriate at all. You weren't on the couch, you were in the public area of the house and guess what? Trevor feels probably worse than you do. Its alright."
"I'm just so embarrassed, I shouldn't have let him kiss me in your home."
"I'd rather know what you guys are up to than worry about what I don't know about. Sweetie, I was making out with boys at 13, I don't think I really have to worry about you or Noah."
"I wasn't making out with him!," she said quickly, "I'm not ready for that."
"I know and that's why I said I don't think I need to worry about you both. Please don't be embarrassed. I'm not upset and I think Trevor just feels terrible that he interrupted a private moment and upset you."
She sniffed and nodded. "You're a good kid, Kaci, I'm happy out of all the girls my son could have here, its you. You're my favourite friend of Noah's," she winked, giving her a little hug and a squeeze. "Don't tell Adam I said that."
Kaci managed a laugh. "I actually have something for you, so now you have to stay to find out what it is," she took her hand, "come on, come with me…"
/
"Noah, I'm sorry I just barged in on a private moment," Trevor apologised.
"Its okay, you didn't know," he shrugged, "it was stupid."
"Nah, not stupid, I hope that wasn't your first kiss-"
"Nope," Noah shook his head, "second, but its fine. It was just as awkward and as dumb as the first time."
Trevor couldn't help but smile, patting Noah on the back. "Its okay, the first few kisses are supposed to be awkward and weird," he told him quietly.
Olivia came in to the room with Kaci almost hiding behind her. "I'm so sorry Kaci," Trevor apologised immediately.
"Its okay, I'm sorry too," she murmured, clinging on to Olivia's hand.
"No, you have nothing to be sorry for," Trevor shrugged, "so guys, I was saying to Mom before that we'll have some take out tonight and we'd love if you would like to join us, Kaci?" Trevor offered, pretending just like nothing had happened.
"Oh my grandparents-"
"I'll call your grandma if you like," Olivia smiled. "And once we figure out what we are having, I can show you the neat things I got for you while I was at work the other day."
"You're gonna love them," Noah smiled knowingly.
Kaci's cheeks flushed. "Umm okay, only if its okay."
"Its a-okay," Trevor gave her a reassuring smile. "Why don't you and Noah discuss amoung yourselves what you feel like eating and Liv will call your grandma."
Liv picked up her phone from the counter and went to the next room.
Trevor took the cauliflower, broccoli and shredded roast chicken and took a seat at the dining table. He watched Noah join his little girlfriend at the kitchen counter and put an arm around her to make her feel better. "Do you want a soda?," he asked. "We have coca-cola, diet coke or Dr Pepper."
"Oh… could I please have a diet coke?"
"Sure," Noah smiled.
"Noah, kiddo when you get a second, would you mind grabbing your sister's sippy-cup?"
Noah didn't want to say it out loud, but having Trevor refer to Lexi as his sister was new and it made him grin to himself the second his back was turned. He knew that they'd made their decision and he was all in.
"Sure," he repeated. He took a diet coke out for Kaci and a regular one for himself. He grabbed two glasses and put some ice in them and went to grab Lexi's cup but realised Kaci had already beat him to it.
"Thank you, Kaci," Trevor smiled at her.
"You're welcome," she murmured, still a little embarrassed. Olivia reappeared just as Noah poured half of the can of diet coke in to her glass.
"Grandma says it's fine if you want to have dinner. Trevor or I will drive you home," she told her. "Or I can walk you, its up to you."
"Thanks Olivia," she told her gratefully.
"I hate to hone in on your time with your friend, kiddo, but I need to steal Kace for a second."
Noah shrugged. He didn't mind. He liked that his family loved Kaci so much.
/
The kids decided they wanted pizza which Olivia was happy about. She wanted a red wine and a big bowl of spaghetti.
Olivia sat down at the table watching Trevor feed Lexi while she ordered dinner and the kids sat at the kitchen counter playing a game on Noah's Nintendo.
"Babyyyy come on, let's not play with your food, let's eat your food," Trevor told Lexi gently, pushing her arm away. He held her plate. "Come on, Daddy will help you." He caught Olivia's eye and they shared a smile.
"Me do it," Lexi smacked the tray frustratedly.
Trevor sighed, "Okay, you can do it, just take this one," he handed her a piece of broccoli. She popped it in to her mouth and took a few bites and made a face. She looked at him with disgust. Olivia laughed, "oh, she's not a fan of Broccoli today, she really does change her tastes from one day to the next."
"It's painful," Trevor laughed. He gave her some cauliflower which she seemed to like and put some chicken pieces on her tray. She fed herself tiny bit by tiny bit. It seemed to take forever.
"What do you think?" Trevor asked her after she was finished, "was that yummy?"
Lexi smiled and nodded, "yummy!," she repeated giving him the most gorgeous smile and giggle.
"Oooft, you are just so sweet," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "Would you like something else yummy?"
She nodded. She was starting to understand the concept of having some dinner and something a little sweeter afterward. She was a big fan of apple puree and a very little bit of chocolate custard. "Okay, you wait here with Mommy, Daddy will be back in just a second," he got up and took her almost-empty plate, pausing to kiss her cheek.
He grabbed a cloth to clean her face and hands once she was done and picked out a small jar of apple puree from the refrigerator.
After Lexi's dinner was taken care of, Trevor gave her a bath and put on the most adorable onesie that Raia had given them. He took Lexi out to say goodnight to everyone.
"You wanna get the table ready for dinner and I'll tag-team with you and put little miss to bed?" Olivia opted.
"Sure," Trevor replied, "goodnight my princess," he gave her a smooch on her cheek and smiled happily at their addition to the family. "I love you."
He paused to kiss Olivia softly on the lips, ignoring the two young teens watching their interaction. "And I love you too, sweetheart. Call out if you need anything."
"I will," she replied. She took Lexi to her bedroom.
/
"I'm really proud of you today, Noah," Trevor told him as they left school together in his Mustang. "You did such a great set up again with the pass, I'm really impressed at how great you've become in such a short span of time," He patted the teen on the back. "I think you're game-ready, in all honesty."
"Yeah?" Noah asked.
"Yeah," Trevor replied. "We'll practice again on monday afternoon, but let's go and see Mom and see if she needs any help getting everything together to go for the weekend."
"Okay," Noah got in to the passenger side. "Hey, Peter has been leaving me alone," he smiled. "I feel kind of bad that he's off the team. Do you think you'll let him back on?"
"I don't know. Maybe you should try to approach him and work things out. What do you think about that?"
Noah shrugged. "Maybe."
"We could have a team discussion about it. The team are really welcoming toward you now that the two trouble makers are gone."
"True," Noah nodded, "everyone has been friendly to me, it's been nice."
"Good, there was no reason for them not to have been," Trevor replied.
Trevor sighed once they got on to the road, "I hate traffic," he remarked, "I have patience for just about every other thing in my life, but traffic…" he shook his head, "no time for it."
Noah smiled. "It's annoying because we wanna get home faster for Mom and Lexi."
"Yeah," Trevor agreed. "Hey you wanna text Mom and let her know we're on her way home? Ask her if she needs anything."
"Okay," Noah agreed. He plucked out his phone and put together a text and hit send. They were moving, just slowly. A few moments later Olivia replied assuring them that everything was fine and that she had even managed to already pack the car and to take their time getting home."
"Mom's good, she said everything is under control."
"Good," Trevor seemed to relax a little.
"Can I ask you a weird question?" Noah asked.
"Yeah shoot, kid, what's up?"
"Mmm…I keep going to say something and it keeps going to slide off my tongue and its maybe because Lexi is here and its the way we speak but…would it freak you out if I… sometimes referred to you as Dad too," he pushed the words out of his mouth bravely.
Trevor did a double take as he pulled the car to a halt at some lights. He grinned at Noah. "No, Noah, it wouldn't freak me out." He reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze, "I'd actually love that and would be honoured by that more than you could know…" he added.
Noah grinned back. "Okay, good to know."
He almost laughed at the teen trying to play it cool.
"You're the best, Noah benson," Trevor remarked, "you make me so happy- a really proud parent."
"Thanks," Noah murmured, desperately trying not to get emotional. "I hope it wouldn't bother Mom…"
"Nah, your Mom is cool with whatever you decide, we've talked about it."
"Good."
"Good," Trevor mimicked him, giving him a playful jab, causing him to laugh.
"But seriously, I love you kiddo and that just made me really happy. I'm not even annoyed about the traffic anymore."
Noah laughed. "I really can't wait to get to your Mom and Dads place, I wanna jump in the pool. Today has been so gross, its too hot."
"Its probably the most action their pool has seen in years," he replied, "they are excited to see you and Lexi," he told the teen. "My Dad loved having a kid around that he could talk football with… it was so much fun for him to discover his favourite team again through you. Be aware, he might end up harassing you to go to college games with him sometimes."
"That would be so cool, I'd be happy to do that. Your Dad is so nice. Why don't you do that stuff with him?"
"Just… life got in the way and then if I'm honest Noah, I had a hard time being around my family after Lana passed away. My grief was far too big for any of them to understand."
"Do you still feel sad about her?"
"Every day I feel sad about her because she was a wonderful person. I really believed that she was the only person I would ever love, that no other love that I could have in my life would ever compare… and it became very scary for me because I met you and your Mom and that was hard to manage at first."
"Why?" Noah wondered.
He thought about how honest he should be. He knew Noah was an emotionally intelligent child, he could handle it. "Because I felt guilty about the fact that your Mom and you… there's a way I feel about you both that is so big that I'm hardly able to express with words. Lexi too — it's just a divine feeling of knowing something is right and not just thinking it. Does that make sense to you?"
Noah nodded slowly. "Yeah, but I understand why you feel bad too. It was scary when you started dating Mom because I liked hanging out with you, you were an adult that I could talk to without feeling like you might go and tell her everything and I was worried that when she dated you, you would break up and then you'd hate me."
"New feelings are always so scary, so is change. Even though sometimes adults seem like they have it all figured out, kiddo, the truth is, we don't. We're all still just trying to figure out life as we go and sometimes we aren't great at it and we can make stupid choices that we don't know are stupid until way, way after the fact…but the choice to date your Mom and be a part of your lives and the choice to take Lexi — they are things that I know I won't ever regret."
"Me too," Noah replied.
They drove along in a little silence at the bumper-to-bumper afternoon traffic.
"So tell me, how did it go with Kaci the other night?"
"It was good… I like seeing her."
"Have you asked her to be your girlfriend yet?," he wondered.
"No… I'm still thinking about it. I want to be sure. We kissed twice and both times its been weird and awkward and I don't know if it's supposed to feel like that," he replied, "maybe we're just supposed to be friends."
"Hmmm, do you want Dad advice? Or do you want me to mind my own business?," Trevor asked.
Noah turned to him, "I want the Dad advice."
Trevor smiled briefly. "I think you're 14 and its okay if you just want to hold hands and hang out as friends and maybe sometimes kiss, but if you know she likes you in a romantic way and if you don't feel the same you need to be very clear in a very kind, respectful way so that you don't hurt her feelings. Young girls your age have very, very big feelings."
"I think we feel in a similar way," Noah replied thoughtfully. "She's got a lot going on too… so it'd be silly to rush anything."
"Good thinking kiddo… jus take things very slow and if something happens it'll be because it's supposed to. But right now, she's one of your favourite people and its okay to leave it at that."
"Thanks," Noah smiled. "That's good Dad advice."
/
"Oh my kids are just old pieces of furniture now," Raia muttered to Trevor with good humour as their mom seemed beside herself with joy to see Lexi and Noah. She cried when she saw both of the kids and Trevor felt relieved that they gave Noah the same energy that they gave the toddler. It meant so much to him.
"Oh don't be stupid," Trevor replied, nudging her, "look, auntie Liv is in love with Chloe and Sadie, that's something."
Raia laughed, "Trevor how is this woman that you love so much so baby crazy? It seems unjust that she has only just had a second child now— she is so good with them."
"I know, it's a long painful story for both herself and Noah and maybe she'll share it one day, but kids absolutely love her. From what her friend told me, if ever there's children or teens on a case, she's the one who's there and the one they continue calling and keeping in touch with."
"Oh, that's so nice."
"Remember about Kaci? Noah's friend?"
"Yeah?" Raia nodded, looking up at her very tall brother.
"Liv sat with her for days and as a result we have this surrogate third kid," he chuckled, "she texts Liv all the time, its adorable and I know she loves it."
"Man, you better get to having some more kids then, family of ten, maybe?"
Trevor nudged her again. "Don't be gross. I think Lexi is it."
"Who wants a beer?" Patrick asked, extricating himself from all the excitement that Trevor was sure he found overwhelming. Everyone said yes, including Olivia.
"Whew, maybe now I can get near my niece and nephew to say hello!" Raia finally remarked once Georgie had released them. She gave Noah a hug and a kiss. "Look at this hair, Noah, you have the most beautiful curls, its so unfair!"
Noah ran his fingers through his hair a little self-consciously. "Maybe I'll cut it soon-"
"Oh babe, don't say things like that, you'll break my heart," Olivia piped up. Noah grinned and Raia knew he only said it for a rise out of his Mom. Raia laughed with him. "You're evil. I love it," she winked. "How's it being a big brother?," she asked, waiting for her mother to stop fawning all over the baby.
"I love it!" Noah exclaimed. "I knew I had to go to school today, but I got up with her last night when I heard her cry so that Mom and Da-Trevor didn't have to." Both Raia and Olivia did a double take but neither said a word with Noah's slip-up.
"You're amazing," Raia told him. "You can stay the night at my house any time you want and get up with the girls."
Noah laughed.
"It was a huge help," Olivia replied, "I panicked when I woke up at 6 because she had slept through the night, but I found Noah cuddled up with her on the couch, I even have photos. He got her some warm milk and soothed her until she fell asleep… so it might be an early night tonight."
Noah shrugged, "I'm okay, I'm not that tired."
"Ok Mom, it's time to hand over my new niece…" Raia told her mother. Georgie kissed the baby on the cheek and reluctantly passed her over to Raia while Olivia got up off the floor with Raia's girls to say a proper hello to Trevor's mom.
/
"Are you okay, Dad?" Trevor asked his father who stood at counter silently, collecting himself. He quickly looked over his shoulder. "Yes, I'm fine, sorry son, just…" he turned to look at Trevor, "it just makes me a little emotional to see you so happy again, not just that … fake smile to placate your mother and sister…"
Trevor could see his father was teary. "Its okay, Dad."
"Its not okay, I never, ever thought you'd bounce back. I felt like I lost my son when you lost Lana-" his voice cracked and suddenly Trevor felt his eyes stinging with tears.
"I was trying, just-"
"I know, I know," he waved his hand at Trevor's beginning of an apology, "don't apologise, Trevor, none of it was your fault… I don't think I've ever experienced pain quite like you had to, and nothing we could have ever done would have been enough to take that away and I can't tell you how heartbreaking that's been."
"I had to find my own way, it wasn't your fault or Mom's fault that you couldn't… I was at war with myself for a long time Dad, I don't think anyone could have helped."
"I know…" Patrick replied, "but maybe that's why it hurts so much."
"I'm so sorry, Dad..," Trevor murmured, stepping closer.
"Dont be sorry, son. I'm just so relieved. These are my tears of relief to see you thriving. I see immediately how much you love that woman and how quickly Noah has become yours and now… you have a darling girl…. It's such a blessing."
"Yeah…" Trevor smiled, "Noah called me Dad earlier today for the first time." His Dad smiled sentimentally at his son and reached for him to give him a warm hug.
"Congratulations, Trevor, Mom and I are so happy for you."
"Thanks. I'm very happy, Dad. Sometimes I feel guilt about being so happy when Lana is gone but… Olivia always gives me the space to talk about her."
"She is such a wonderful woman," Patrick told him, "we loved Lana and I know sometimes you've really thought otherwise, but we did love her so much, Trevor I hope you believe that-"
"I do believe that, it was just grief talking when I said what I said…," Trevor replied patting his Dad on the shoulder as he pulled away. "I know you both loved her."
"But we do love Olivia— there's just something very quietly special about her too. You always have impeccable choice in women, son."
Trevor laughed. Interrupting was Olivia joining him in the kitchen. He smiled to see her as his father withdrew from their close chat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-"
"No, I'm just getting those beers I promised," Patrick smiled at her. Olivia slid her arms around Trevor's waist and leaned against him.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a six pack and a few extras. He unscrewed the top and passed one to Olivia and did the same for Trevor. "Cheers to you both for your exciting edition. And I was wondering, is it okay if I ask Noah if he wants to see a game with me tomorrow? Would that be okay? The game is tomorrow at 11, its Yale, my team."
"Of course," Olivia smiled. "He'd probably love that if you can him away from the pool for long enough."
Patrick laughed. "I just would like to get to know him more, it looks like he's going to be in our lives for the long haul and I am just so excited to have you and Noah and such a sweet little girl as in addition to our lives."
"Aww thank you so much," Liv replied, letting go of Trevor to give his father a kiss and a hug.
"You're welcome, sweetheart." He held up the six pack, "better go and hand out beers."
"No matter what Noah tells you, he can't have a beer," Olivia joked.
They laughed.
Once they were left alone, Olivia looked up at her man and smiled warmly at him, she held up her bottle and cheers'd him. "I love being in this house, it's so… homey and warm and everyone is so full of love," she remarked, "its kind of all the specialness that I wanted in a home as a kid."
He slipped his free arm around her waist and kissed her. "I love you, I'm glad we came… you're right. We're lucky to have the love and immediate, unquestioned acceptance of my family."
She smiled at him. "Noah thinks he is going to go swimming now."
Trevor laughed, "Poor kid, its literally all he's talked about all day. Oh hey, guess what?"
"What?"
"Something was said to me in the car on the way home this afternoon… I just wanted to give you the heads up."
"Okay?" Olivia replied slowly, "should I take a big drink?"
"No I think its okay," Trevor replied, "you and I have talked about this, so…"
"Okay so spit it out." She placed her beer down and gave him her undivided attention.
"So he said that sometimes he goes to slip but remembers himself, but he asked if it would freak me out if he called me Dad sometimes." Trevor's green eyes zoned in on her brown pools. He watched a slow, fond smile spread across her lips. She reached up and placed her hand upon her chest.
"Oh, really?"
Trevor nodded slow. "It caught me by surprise, but it was such a lovely moment, Olivia, I can't tell you how wonderful and honoured I felt for him to actually say it. I told him I would love that very much if he feels comfortable and then he proceeded to ask for Dad advice about Kaci."
"Ohh Trev, that's beautiful…" she paused, "do you really feel like you're okay with that?"
"Liv," he cocked his head, "we just filed papers for adoption yesterday morning, sweetheart, I think we're locked in this together now for oh," he pretended to examine the back of his hand as if he were disinterested, "about 17 or so years…"
She gave him a playful slap. "Wow, yeah… I hope you love me."
"I hope you love me!," he replied with a laugh.
"Well, you're okay," she winked. He slid his other arm around her and drew her near. He leaned in and kissed her warmly on the mouth, feeling her pressing her body in to him. He parted his mouth slightly and allowed her tongue to taste his own, relishing her affection. It had been a little less than a week since they'd slept together and he missed her body against his.
He hummed against her mouth. He felt her chuckle but she tightened her grip around him and moved in closer, pulling his waist against hers, forgetting herself for just a second and letting her physical need for him take over. His tongue filled her mouth as his hand sat on the small of her back, the place where it felt intimate and always just a little turn on. She didn't even mind when she felt his hand traveling further over her black gym tights over her backside, giving it a slight squeeze as he pulled her against his pelvis.
He kissed her a little more passionately as he found his way to the small of her back again, knowing that any family member could burst in at any moment. He slowed the kisses down, loosening his tight grip on her and pressed his forehead against hers as he broke away. "I miss you…" he murmured.
"I miss you," she replied, "picking up on what he was trying to say. I'm sorry, I feel like I've been so tired and with Lexi-"
"No," he shook his head and smiled, "don't apologise, I understand, but I'm just telling you, I want you to always feel wanted and needed and know how much I'm always craving you, love."
She let out a little sigh beneath her breath. She could fall in love with this man over and over again, she thought. "I hope you know I always feel the same. I would love for some private time."
"Maybe we'll get some time this weekend…" his voice trailed.
"Oh for fuck sake," Raia remarked rolling her eyes, "can I ever walk in to a room when you're around without having to watch you grope poor Olivia?!" She glanced at Olivia, "Olivia, blink twice if its too much and you need me to intervene."
Olivia laughed, pulling away from him.
"Trev, she blinked twice, you're done."
"Shut up," he shot back, "I thought you were busy trying to win aunt of the year in there."
"I don't have to try," she smirked, "I am."
"Uhuh," he rolled his eyes, "come on Liv, better take everything upstairs and I'll take Noah for a quick swim before his bed time."
"Really? You're going swimming now? It's 8 O'clock."
"Hmmm just learn to tell time, did you?" Trevor patronised his sister, "thanks for the update."
"You're a dick," she chuckled, taking a big mouthful of her beer. Olivia picked up the bottle of hers and laughed at the two siblings bickering. "I'm going to check on my babies, you guys can fight amongst yourselves."
"I'm following you," Trevor replied.
/
Olivia was scrolling through an app on her phone, happy with the fact that Lexi seemed to be sleeping so soundly in her little port-a-crib in the corner of Trevor's childhood room. "I hope she sleeps well tonight."
"She probably will because we're close by," Trevor replied. "What are you looking at?," he wondered, having not seen the app she was tracking. She locked her phone and put it down beside her on the charger. "Just, my period is a little late."
"What? How late?"
"Just late, its okay don't freak out," she replied with a laugh, "periods aren't always spot on and mine has never been like clockwork, but I hate it when it's late because I want to swim tomorrow and I don't want it to … just happen without being ready for it."
"How late you are you talking?," Trevor wondered, climbing over her, his knees at both sides of her hips. He kissed her softly on the lips before he bowed his head a little further and began to kiss her neck softly.
"Three weeks-"
He stopped and lifted his head to glance at her, "what? Three weeks?"
"Don't flip out… I'm not pregnant."
He let out a peel of laughter at the stupidity of the thought. "Olivia, you're three weeks late… how off track is your period usually?"
She shrugged, "maybe a week or so, but its fine, I'm very sure I'm not pregnant. I have no symptoms."
He laughed again, "I think you should do a test, just to find out for sure."
"No, Trev-" she closed her mouth and sucked in a breath, "I'm not pregnant."
"Cool," he smiled at her, trying his best not to laugh with how serious and adamant she was. "So when we get you a test tomorrow and it comes back negative, you can use a preventative method to not get your period while swimming right?"
"Trevor!" She was exasperated, "Trevor, I'm not pregnant!," she exploded with frustration. "Don't even put it out there in the universe."
"Why?" He grinned cheekily at her.
She couldn't help but to laugh at his silliness. "Because we'd have to remove the file for adoption-"
"Why?" He repeated. "You think you can't handle being a Mom of three?"
"Trevor," she wined, getting frustrated with him, "stop it."
He flopped back down on the bed beside her. "I'm just saying, if your period is three weeks late, you should do a test, just purely preventative for your own sake of mind. You're protesting a little too much for someone who isn't worried."
"Aren't you freaked out?"
He laughed. "No sweetheart, why would I be freaked out? What do you think I would do if you found out you were pregnant? Run for it?" He laughed at himself, "Ha! Never, you're stuck with me forever and ever."
"Stop it… its easy to say that when I'm not with child."
He laid back and stared at the ceiling with a big smile thinking about the endless possibilities. "Nah, I kind of hope you are," he admitted, "that would be nice…" he could barely contain a grin. "I mean, if that was what you wanted too of course."
Olivia sighed. "I'm not pregnant," she told him softer; more serious. "But… maybe I should do a test."
"Maybe you should…" he rolled to his side and kissed her lips softer. "And love, whatever will be will be."
"Easy to say now," she rolled her eyes.
"I'm not Elliot," he told her firmly, resting his hand on her hip. "I mean it. I am open to whatever happens. It doesn't have to ever be complicated between us, Liv. I am everything I say I am and you can trust that I will never run from responsibility with Lexi or Noah or any other children that we may or may not have."
She smiled at him, wondering how he made it sound so simple and how it was that he was so genuine. There had been no fight — save for the one she almost started when she brought up Lexi - he was so sold on the idea from the get-go that she felt like perhaps it was exactly as it was meant to be.
She had been a little worried about her period being late, but not worried enough to take a test. The truth was that working the job she did, on shift with stresses and lack of appetite and sleep at some points, she genuinely did sometimes find that her cycle was off. Three weeks was probably the longest, but she had even skipped a period in the past when she was stressed out. She wasn't overly worried but even so, Trevor had reassured her so perfectly that she knew that whatever happened, he was genuine; he would not run.
"Thank you for saying that, that makes me feel marginally better. Thanks for not freaking out."
"Why would I freak out?," he asked gently.
She shrugged. "We just took on this baby, we just asked for an adoption process to begin…"
"And? Potentially if you got pregnant, Lexi wouldn't be as needy as she is right now - we are still in the adjustment phase, in 9 months she'll be almost three, she will speak a little more, communicate herself better, if I'm being optimistic; potty trained."
Olivia smiled. "I love you for making it sound so simple."
"Because nothing needs to be complicated, sweetheart. I love you and that's all you need to really know and whatever else happens is simply just packaging."
She leaned closer and kissed him. "Thank you."
"Turn out the light, sweetie and get close so I can cuddle you, lose your shirt if you want," he told her. She really, genuinely did prefer to sleep almost naked beside him — and perhaps he was partial to a boob or two, but he liked it too. She gave him a smile and sat up, lifting her t-shirt over her head and reaching to turn off the light.
/
"This is exciting, our first time away from the baby and we're off to the pharmacy," Olivia replied in a droll tone.
Trevor laughed. "So I have a plan, because my sister is so nosey and Gav is at work and so, I have a spare key," he chuckled, "we're going to get the test and go to her place so you can take it."
"No you can't do that!" Olivia laughed, "Trevor!"
"Hmm," he smiled, looking criminally good-looking in his Levi's and white t-shirt with a pair of aviator sunglasses. She couldn't help to think that he looked like he just stepped out of a commercial. His playful grin made her weaken at the knees. "I thought you might say that, so I have a plan. I'm going to text her once we get the test and I'm going to ask her if she has a certain block set at home that we can borrow, blah blah blah, Lexi loves blocks," he explained, speaking with his hands, "and then she will say yes, and I'll ask if it's okay if we go in and get it on our way back if she tells me where it is."
Olivia's mouth fell open and she began to laugh. "You calculating little shit," She laughed again, "I love it, let's do it."
Trevor let out a peel of laughter and started the car. They backed out of the drive and straight to the pharmacist. Olivia was feeling a little urgent now that he had made her start to consider the possibility of being pregnant. She figured she would have had more a couple symptoms from everything Amanda had had to deal with with all three of her children.
Trevor reached for her hand, glancing at her briefly as they stopped at lights. He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and grinned at her.
"Do you realise how fucking gorgeous you look today?," she asked him. "I mean, you look amazing every day, but today…woof, something about this outfit. Ever modelled before?"
He started to laugh, "you're crazy." He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "But thank you."
They stopped outside the pharmacy. Olivia felt a little confronted. She glanced at her man who wondered why she was stalling. "I'm scared," she finally admitted.
"Why? You don't actually think you're pregnant. We're just confirming it with science."
"I know but… now you've made me second guess myself. Truthfully, Trevor, are you going to be disappointed if I'm pregnant? Like…" she paused, "are you going to resent me for this?"
"Resent you?" He took his sunglasses off and rose his eyebrow at her, "why would I resent you?!," he wondered, "I know how babies are made too, you know? It means we've been careless and it means our family is going to look different once again, but I will never be disappointed by a child that we've made out of love, despite not knowing that that's what we were doing," he chuckled in spite of himself. "I'm actually kind of thrilled," he admitted.
"You're a dick," she rolled her eyes. "Trevor, you know if I got pregnant right now, this won't be easy— it'll be hard and Noah— he might not appreciate being a brother to yet another baby."
"Olivia," Trevor hushed her gently, "you're already freaking out. How about, I go in and get you a test okay? You wait here… I'll get the test and then I'll text Raia."
She sighed, "Okay."
Trevor leaned over and kissed her lips. "I love you and however the cards fall, it'll be okay, I promise."
She wondered if maybe he was a little unrealistic but decided to just say nothing. She rested her head on the passenger window and watched him head in to the pharmacy. She picked up her phone and texted Amanda. "Mayday. I'm freaking out really bad. We are at Trevor's parents for the weekend- I might give you a call in a bit when I know everything is okay, but ughhhh… don't worry, I'm fine, Trevor is fine, Noah is fine… I'm just being an idiot."
She hit send, realising that her message could worry her friend. She texted again, "Don't worry Amanda, I promise I'm fine. I'll call you in a bit."
She watched Trevor re-emerge holding a small plastic bag as he got back in to the car. "I got two, just to be sure however it works," he shrugged. "I already texted Raia, she told me to help myself to whatever toys we wanted to borrow, what a sucker, she doesn't think we brought toys for Lexi, what shit parents she must think we are."
"Trevor, why are you enjoying this so much?," she wondered, watching him slide his sunglasses back on. "I can't figure this out?" He put his hand on the back of her seat as he looked over his shoulder, reversing out before taking off toward his sisters place.
/
He unlocked the door and let her in first. "We could have sex in here?," he offered with a straight face. Olivia glared at him. "Tre-" she realised as he cracked a smile that he was only joking. She shoved him and took the bag. "This feels like such an intrusion of privacy."
"Don't worry about it, it's my sister. She won't care and when you get your result, we can tell her the truth."
"Okay," Olivia relented. "Where's the bathroom?"
Trevor led her down the hall and pointed to the bathroom, in there. She took a step in, kids toys filled the bathtub and a little step at the basin for Chloe. She looked back and saw that Trevor was waiting in the hall. She closed the door and read the instructions. It had been a very long time since she had done a test, they looked a little more advanced than she remembered. She took a moment, a deep breath, glancing at her phone to see Amanda's messages popping up frantically one after the next.
She waited for the urge to grab her, concentrating on relaxing before she took her test.
Once she was done she put the clear cap back on it and flushed the toilet. She replied to Amanda, telling her not to worry and that she was sorry and she would call her shortly. She placed the phone in to the thigh pocket of her gym tights and opened the bathroom door after she had placed the test down. She felt overwhelmed with anxiety. Trevor could see the tension in her face. He held his arms out to hug her but she shrugged him away. "It needs three minutes, I can't deal with this… you need to find out the result."
She walked past him, heading back to the living room. She sat down on the edge of the couch feeling bad. She let her eyes fall closed for a second. She drew in a deep breath and let it out. "Its okay," Trevor told her gently. She opened her eyes, realising that he had followed her. "I get why you're scared, Liv, but its okay. Whatever happens, we will work it out together, I promise that with all of my heart. I love you and I trust you as a parent and I have every faith in you, that's why I'm not freaking out."
She was trying not to get emotional. "I trust you and I love you too… but… I'm just-"
He made sure his stop watch was working before he sat down beside her. "Honey, its okay, you're scared and its okay to say that too." He put an arm around her and kissed her temple. "Your history dictates that you never have the right to feel 100 percent at ease," he verbalised her feelings in such a way that she almost cried at how easily he understood. "But I'm telling you that you can feel one thousand percent at ease with me… you're expecting me to be sad about something that — if it did happen, I would actually embrace but I'd want you to be on that same page with me too. I want you to want the same things I want."
"You're right," Olivia nodded, "I'm scared. Some how adopting feels less scary than the idea of growing a baby in me." She paused and sighed, "that makes me sound fucking awful…"
"Not at all, Liv, you feel how you feel and its fine. We are about to find out in…" he paused and looked at his phone. "Less than a minute and then we can probably just get on with our lives because I trust that you know your body, I just want us to be sure."
She nodded knowing that everything he was saying made perfect and logical sense.
He pulled her toward him and held her for a few moments, kissing her temple. His phone began to beep signifying that the results would be ready. He had to admit, his legs were a little like jelly. He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. "Come on, sweetie, let's do this and we can move on with our lives."
He guided her back to the bathroom. Olivia was just half a step behind him. "You look at it… I can't…" she took a seat on the edge of the bath.
"Okay," Trevor agreed. The instructions were open, having been left there after Olivia took the test.
He picked it up and looked at it for a few seconds and looked at the instructions. His mouth fell open; agape. "Olivia…" his voice trailed, turning to look at her. "Liv— you're pregnant."
"What? No…" she jumped up and grabbed the test from him. "Fuck…" Immediately, she burst in to tears. "Trevor, I'm sorry-" she apologised, "I should have been more caref-"
"Olivia," he took the test gently from her and placed it down and pulled her close, "don't you dare apologise to me like you did something wrong, baby," it wasn't lost on him that her immediate reaction was as though he had already threatened to leave. "Its okay," he kissed her, "so you're pregnant…" he held her tight, thinking for a moment, "this is… possibly amazing news?"
He created some space so he could see her face. He brushed away her tears with his forefingers. "Haven't you always wanted a big family?"
"Yeah but-"
"But what? Are you happy with me? With Lexi and Noah?"
She nodded slowly.
"And you will get to experience motherhood from yet another perspective. We are blessed, Liv… this is everything you've ever wanted and you have no right to be sorry for that."
"Okay," she nodded, sniffing. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Yes," he laughed, "Yes love, yes, I am happy." He pressed his lips against hers, "I'm going to watch our child grow in your tummy," he placed his hand on top of her stomach where early stages of life were beginning to bloom. "And our little baby girl will get a small sibling that she can fight with the way Raia and I fought," he smiled, "and I think you're underestimating how much Noah is going to love this news…"
"Yeah? You think?"
He flashed her a smile, "yes."
"What if something happens, what if I'm too old?"
"My sister is 41, she just had her second child, Liv, at the age you are now. Its okay, we will deal with whatever as it comes, but for now we celebrate. We tell Noah so he can be a part of the joy and then maybe we tell your family and my family and leave it at that until you feel comfortable telling more people."
"Okay," she agreed, "fuck, we're going to have another baby…"
"Another baby," he confirmed with a little dizzy laugh. "Come on, we'll grab all this test stuff, take a photo of your test strip and maybe you can freak Amanda out by sending her the picture of it."
Olivia finally laughed, releasing her tension, desperately wanting to rush in to the same joy Trevor was feeling.
"I love you so much, Liv, this is a crazy ride, but I wouldn't want to be on this rollercoaster with a single other person."
"I love you too," she replied, kissing him.
They collected their things and headed back to his parents house.
