Hi everyone,

I am finally free of my covid fog for the most part - I thought I'd post this while i can before I throw myself back in to life again. To the person who felt like they could leave me some "tips" on small errors I make throughout my story with typos or whatever, Id just like to remind you that i do this for free and you're free to read - or not, as is.

Thank you everyone for leaving your comments and feedback, I love reading most of them :') Hope you have a nice week.

Oh, and I didn't edit this one so ... enjoy my typos :_)


Olivia, I know this is a long shot, but I'm really worried about Noah and he's not had his phone on since Sunday and I really want to say hello and make sure he's okay. I know that you're worried too and I hope he's talked to you… could you please have him text me from you or if he won't, please tell him that I miss him and I care about him? Thank you Liv, I miss you too! X Kaci.

Olivia smiled and gave her phone to her son beside her. "Have a look at what Kaci sent me, babe…"

He read over the a message with a faint smile crossing his lips. "That's nice… can I reply?"

"Sure, but you know… you could turn on your phone."

"I don't want to," he replied. "I don't want to see all of Adam's messages…"

Olivia let it go.

Hi Kace, I miss you too. I talked to Mom and Dad, they know everything… I'm not at school just because I'm working through stuff. I'm sure everyone is talking about me now and even though Dad says he hasn't heard any rumours, I'm not so sure he's being honest or maybe it just hasn't reached him yet… I can't really face turning my phone on so… I think I'll leave it for now. I'll talk to you when I can x.

Noah was bored and Olivia could see it. Trevor had spoken with the principal and had provided Noah with some work to do from home, citing that he had an issue with mental health that he and Olivia were working on with him. Also, Trevor had found a contact through the school social worker for a good therapist for Noah because it was clear that both he and Olivia may not have been able to help Noah with the deeper things that were upsetting him; the kind of things they could only offer comfort for.

Just as Trevor was getting ready to leave, Adam and Kaci approached him. "Hey guys, how are you?"

"Good," Kaci smiled politely. Adam was looking a little sheepish, avoiding Trevor's eyes.

"Mr. Langan could you give this to Noah for us?," she asked, turning and nodding toward a large box that Adam was holding.

"Sure…" he smiled, "what is it?"

"It's just a gift to help him feel better so he can come back to school and practice and start annoying us to be nicer to people again…" Adam told him, hiding a little smile.

Trevor beamed, he had been right, Adam had no intention of sharing Noah's private moments with anyone else. "Thanks you guys, Noah will love this. He's feeling a little miserable and sad right now, but this might actually just do the trick…"

"We hope so…" Kaci smiled. "Thanks Mr. Langan…"

"Thanks you guys, I'll let you both know when I've managed to give it to Noah."

The kids dispersed and Trevor made his way to his car, texting Olivia to let her know that he was on his way home and that he would pick up some red meat for dinner. She had been told her iron was low. She looked forward to it— she knew Noah preferred chicken, but she'd had a craving for a steak.

/

"What's that?" Olivia asked softly, watching Trevor put down the box on the kitchen counter.

He shrugged, pulling his heavy satchel from over his head and placing it down on one of the bar stools against the counter. He came around and slid his arms around his partner. "Not sure, it's from Kaci and Adam for Noah…" he smiled, leaning over, kissing her lips softly. "How was your day?"

"Good," she replied, sliding her hands up over his strong arms that held her. She smiled. "I got a message from Hannah earlier," she lowered her voice, "she ended up calling me on her break to say that Adam came clean yesterday and … did you know that… Adam's brother Kyle is gay?"

Trevor smiled, "Yeah… I did know that actually, but I also know that he didn't come out to anyone but his Mom and brother, that's kind of why I was certain that Adam wouldn't say a word, but since he's not officially out, it's definitely never my place to repeat that."

"That's fair… how did you find out?"

"Adam told me once. It was probably around the time he came out, Adam was struggling a little in one of my classes and his grade was slipping so rather than penalising him, I just… tried to figure out if something was going on. Kids don't slip grades overnight for no reason."

Olivia smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too," Trevor replied, kissing her again. "Where's Noah?"

Olivia laughed and let go of him, "go have a look at the two lazy bones in the living room…"

Trevor went and stuck his head in and laughed, digging his phone from his pocket to take a pic. Both Noah and Lexi where asleep on the couch, mouths wide open, sprawled out and enjoying the rest. He clicked the photo and the flash accidentally went off. He cursed to himself and tried to quickly put the phone away but Noah had woken up. Lexi stirred, but simply rolled over.

"Sorry," Trevor apologised, "I didn't mean to wake you, kiddo…"

"Its okay," Noah muttered. He rolled over on to his chest and buried his face in to the cushion and closed his eyes again.

"Noah it's almost 5pm, I think you and Lexi should probably be getting up anyway. You won't sleep tonight."

He growled and sat up slowly. Trevor made his way over and slid his arms beneath Lexi, scooping her up. "Hey sweetheart…" he spoke softly, "its time to wake up, beauty…" he kissed her cheek softly. "Come on, Daddy just got home and it's time to wake up."

Lexi's eyes opened slowly. She began to rub them, tired and whiny. "It's okay, you guys slept for too long…" Trevor smiled. He knew that Olivia would have been enjoying the peace and quiet, he couldn't fault her for that especially since Lexi had been making great use of her vocal cords. "Dadddddy…" she whined loudly before beginning to cry loudly.

"Its okay," he rubbed her back, "I know, waking up is so awful when you've been having a good sleep…"

Noah was making a face, annoyed by her loud wails. "Sorry Sunshine, but its time to get up, come on…"

Begrudgingly, Noah sat up and rubbed his eyes. He eventually stood up and made his way down the hall to the bathroom and away from the noise of Lexi's cries. He met Olivia back in the kitchen. "Hey sweetie, there's no need to cry, you're going to have some dinner soon…" Olivia greeted her daughter. She reached her arms out for her Mommy.

"Sorry, Liv, I accidentally woke them both…" Trevor apologised, feeling bad.

"Its okay, I should't have let either of them sleep that long," she replied, taking the toddler.

"Here, let me take over dinner…" he opted.

"Thanks… your dinners are better anyway," she replied, a little relieved. She wasn't really interested in cooking and it showed. Trevor was much better at it. He took the bag from the kitchen counter and took out the steaks that he bought. "What do you want me to do with the steaks? You've got a salad done, so I can make something else for it?"

"I don't know, Trev…" she gave him half a smile, "you know I'm bad at being creative with food."

He smiled at her, "I meant more like — do you feel like having something else with it? A potato? Or some savoury rice?"

"I don't mind," she replied.

Noah re-emerged looking fresher. "Hi Dad," Noah came to Trevor's side of the kitchen and put an arm around him briefly for a hug. Trevor smiled. "Hi kiddo, how are you feeling today?"

Noah shrugged, "Okay," he replied. "Do you want me to help with dinner?"

"Maybe you can help me come up with something to put with the steak and salad."

"Oh… what about just some tater tots or frozen fries?"

Trevor made a face but then shrugged, "if you guys are good with that, I'm good with that," he told them.

"We're good," Olivia replied, "missy here will eat with us tonight, I think… I can bathe her after."

"Noah," Trevor began, he nodded toward the box on the end of the kitchen counter, "that box is for you…"

"Oh, what is it?," he wondered.

"We're not sure… maybe you should open it and find out," Olivia suggested. Noah looked at both of his parents suspiciously before taking the box. It wasn't heavy but it wasn't very light either. "Is it from you guys?"

"Nope," Trevor replied. "Where did it come from? Is someone playing a joke on me from school?"

"No, Noah. Just open it…" Trevor told him impatiently. He set it down again and slowly opened the box. It was covered over in blue tissue paper and there was a card on top with his name on it. He recognised Kaci's writing straight away. He gave a faint smile and politely opened it first as if she were beside him, watching him.

Dear Noah,

Adam and I put together this little gift to let you know that you're best friend and we love and miss you and can't wait to see you again. We hope that you realise that neither of us are ever going to tell any of your business to anyone unless you're okay with it. Until then, whatever happens is no one else's business.

Xo Kaci & Adam

Noah sighed and put the card aside and pulled back the tissue paper. He immediately laughed when he saw a football team cap of Adam's that Adam often let him wear. It was a retro Bills cap. There was a post-it note attached to the beak of it. And, Adam's writing. I'm ready to retire this to someone who would appreciate it more than I do. It's yours now, I know you'll wear it proudly because if you don't your Dad will give you trouble.

Tears came to Noah's eyes but he blinked them back as Olivia came to his side, passing Lexi back to Trevor, who watched Noah become a little emotional. Olivia took a seat on the stool beside Noah and put an arm around him. He pulled out a couple of small packs of gummy bears and sour worms and a block of chocolate.

"Wow, they're trying to rot your teeth…" Olivia remarked with a smile.

Noah managed a smile. He took out another little gift bag and smiled. He knew how much Kaci liked to make little bracelets. She had made Olivia a cute little blue one when she was recovering using some loom bands. This was a plain black one and again with a tiny note. "Both Adam and I are wearing a black friendship bracelet like this one too, when you wear yours you'll be reminded that two other people who love and value your friendship are wearing these. And it'll be gentle reminder of all the great things you inspire in us… Kindness, forgiveness, loyalty…

"That's so nice, Noah…" Olivia breathed softly, knowing that her son was upset. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away. There was a gift card for the Fortnite store for $20 and a soft, malleable stress ball and he couldn't help but to laugh despite his tears when he pulled out a purple Taylor Swift Fearless album with one last little note from Adam. "Even though I am sorry to say that I don't feel the same, I am still incredibly flattered that such a nice guy would ever think that I'm worthy of his feelings… my brother told me to give you this, I hope that at some point we can laugh about this, but for now I understand if you don't want to see me or if I hurt your feelings. I'm very sorry for how I reacted. I'm here to talk whenever you're ready.

Noah smiled through his tears and put the CD and the note down and turned to his Mom. "Oh, Noah…" she opened her arms and hugged him tightly. "I hope you know you have some wonderful friends, sweetheart. They really care about you and they don't want anyone to hurt you at school. They're going to protect you…"

"I'm so embarrassed to talk to Adam," he murmured.

"Why don't you start just by sending him a text… it might be easier through text. All you have to do is to thank him and Kaci for their very, very kind gifts and notes."

"Did you read that one from Adam?," he asked, pulling away and wiping his eyes. She didn't want to admit it, but she couldn't lie to him, she nodded. He didn't seem to care. "You know, not a lot of guys your age would be mature enough to address what happened like Adam did, it seems like he is really trying to be a good friend so you can both get past it."

"I know," Noah agreed.

"Bah, bah!" Lexi repeated, getting louder until Noah finally looked up. She had her arm outstretched, opening and shutting her tiny, pudgy hand. "Bah-bah!"

"Oh, you can see that Bah-bah is sad?" Trevor prompted his daughter. "Do you think maybe Bah-bah needs a cuddle?"

Lexi nodded. He circled the counter. Noah reached for his sister and took her. She wrapped herself around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Ohhh, that's such a nice cuddle for your brother," Liv remarked and Noah smiled through his tears back.

"Thanks Lexi, I love you." She lifted her head and rested her arms on Noah's shoulders and smiled at him. He smiled back. "Kiss?"

Lexi kissed her brothers cheek and cuddled him again. It was enough to make him grin at his Mom and Dad. "Thanks for giving me a sister…" he murmured, swaying her slightly.

"Aww, thank you for being a delightful brother, we are so proud of how gentle and patient you are with her." Olivia told him, rubbing her swollen belly.

"Your Mom is right, you're a perfect brother and I know you're gonna be the best brother to our next baby too."

Noah grinned.

"So its your move now, kiddo, what do you think you'll do here?" Trevor asked Noah, "do you think you'll maybe send your friends a text?"

"Mmmm I'm still really embarrassed…"

"Maybe Adam was embarrassed too, babe. Do you know how awful it feels when someone you're friends with tells you they have feelings for you and you don't feel the same? It can be upsetting for them too, because they don't want to hurt their friend but they can't be dishonest…I think it would have taken Adam a lot of courage to say all that."

"I know," Noah agreed.

"Why don't you go and get washed up for dinner, sweetie?" Olivia asked, taking Lexi. She sat her on her knee.

Noah kissed his sister's forehead and headed down the hall glancing down at the loom bracelet that Kaci made for them. He went to his room to gather his things for a shower before staring at his phone for a second. He picked it up and turned it on.

He turned it on silent as the notifications beeped one after the next. He saw Adam's name at the top of the list of texts. Gingerly, he opened it. There were many messages and he let himself read the few most recent. One had been sent the night before.

Hi Noah, I hope you're going to turn your phone on soon. Kaci said you were worried that the whole school might find out what happened but I just really want you to know that I don't plan on telling anyone, it's between you and I — and I guess Kaci, lol. We're good, Noah, I'm not going to lose my best friend over this, I sure hope you feel the same.

Noah read it and re-read it for a few moments before hit reply.

Hi Adam, I got the gift that you and Kaci put together for me and it was really kind and special and it made me feel a lot better. Its been a rough week and I've had to have some big conversations with my parents that I wasn't sure I would ever have the courage to have so you not feeling the same is maybe a blessing in disguise because maybe I would have kept this secret for more years to come…. Thank you for being such a loyal friend. I'm going to have a shower and play Fearless.

He opened Kaci's contact and smiled at the endless hearts she sent him every day.

I love you, thank you for your thoughtful gift. I know you were probably the brains behind it all but I love you for how kind you are and mostly for being so understanding and non judging when I desperately needed to talk the other day. Xxx

He sent a pic of his wrist wearing the bracelet.

He sent the same pic to a group text. You're both the most amazing friends anyone could have. Love you both.

/

"Hey, Dad and Mom invited us for the weekend, how would you feel about that?"

"Yeah," Liv smiled, "that sounds nice, it'll be nice to see Raia and Gavin too."

Trevor just smiled, he was annoyed with his sister who had been acting weird with him since the weekend. He brushed it off though. He pulled the air fryer out from the cupboard and threw some fries in the basket and closed it, getting the rest of dinner ready.

"Sweetie, why don't we put you in your chair and Mommy will get you some toys to play with and you can chat with Daddy and tell him about your day?"

Lexi nodded with a big smile. Trevor smiled. Lexi loved to chat despite them only being able to understand some of her words. In her mind, he knew, she was having a conversation.

"Oh, Daddy would love that," Trevor told her, taking her for a second while Olivia dragged her high chair in to the kitchen. She sat her in the chair and slid the tray in and Trevor pulled out the makings for dinner. He took a few honey graham crackers from the pantry and passed them to his daughter. "Here you go, here's a snack for you to eat while you wait for dinner."

"Mmmm yummy!" Lexi smiled taking them with her tiny hands.

"Yummy indeed," Trevor confirmed, kissing her forehead. He turned to Liv, "do you want to go do something? Shower…. Or… just go have thirty minutes to yourself?"

"No," she smiled at him, "I missed you today."

Trevor grinned back and reached for her hand and pulled her closer. "Aww, I missed you too. I missed all of you, actually… when I'm at work I get to see Noah's face throughout the day, but my two girls…" he slid his arms around her and planted a soft kiss on her neck. "Its the best part of my day when I get to walk in to see you all."

Olivia let out a content sigh and hugged him back for a moment, enjoying his embrace.

"I'll help with dinner…" she told him after a moment, "you just tell me what you need…"

"Okay," he replied, kissing her again, smoothing her hair.

/

"Noah, you can't miss anymore training," Trevor told him seriously as they drew closer and closer to his parents house. "I'm serious, it's not fair to everyone else. If you don't come to Tuesday night's training, you can't play in the first game, you can't miss a single training session until the game. I can't seen to be giving you preferential treatment."

"Oh-kay…" Noah sighed rolling his eyes and looking out the window.

"And," Olivia pitched in, "you're going back to school on Monday. We will continue talking and discussing things as much as you want, babe, but we've established that school is safe and you're not missing out on any more of it."

"Okay," he replied again.

"And Mom has some news too…" Trevor hit the indicator to turn off the freeway.

"I'm going back to work until I'm ready to have the baby," she told Noah, "I'll only be on days for three and a half days of the week and because I'm not allowed to work in the field after 20 weeks, I'll be doing desk duties and one and a half days will be from home…"

"Who's gonna look after Lexi?," Noah asked, slightly put out. He liked it that Olivia was home all the time. He didn't expect that she would be going back to work for some time. "I thought you wanted to stay at home…"

"I do, but I also like earning money to help support my growing family so that everyone can continue having nice things."

Trevor glanced at Olivia and rose an eyebrow. "Hey… we're okay for money," he said softly, touching her leg, wondering if that was the true motivator behind her going back to work. "I've got us and I've got more than enough to take care of us if you want to stay home."

She glanced at Trevor and smiled. "I know, but… I want to contribute too."

"So what's going to happen with Lexi?," Noah asked.

"Michelle is going to come and watch her, we're going to make a transition for two weeks, I'll work entirely from home with Michelle taking care of her until Lexi is comfortable with her and then I can go to the office."

"That's pretty cool that your chief is letting you do that, he really likes you, Mom."

"Yeah, it's nice to have a good boss," she replied with a smile.

"K guys, do we need to stop for anything? Does anyone want any snacks or food or anything to take with us?" Trevor interrupted as they passed a small grocery store.

"No thanks," Noah replied. Olivia said no too, that they could maybe go later if they needed something.

Noah was tired. He sat back in his seat and glanced at his sister who was hooked in to her car seat, asleep for most of the drive.

I'm coming back to school on Monday. I'm nervous about seeing you and things being weird. I hope they're not, he texted Adam.

It was early afternoon, Trevor had taken off early and he was sure Adam was in study hall because he was quick to respond.

It won't be weird. On Monday afternoon you should come over to Kaci's, she suggested we could all hang out and play Fortnite.

Noah smiled, Maybe. I'll have to see if its okay with Mom and Dad. We've just arrived at my grandparents place for the weekend. I hope the weather is nice, they have an amazing pool…

He and Adam texted back and forth for a short while until they arrived at Georgie and Patrick's house. Trevor couldn't help but feel a little uneasy to see Raia and Gavin's car in the driveway. He pulled the car to a halt and started unloading their bags while Noah carefully unhooked Lexi before getting out himself and going to her side.

"Its okay Mom, I got her, Dad and I can get everything, you go ahead."

She smiled at her son and let him do what he wanted to do. He managed to slide his sister out of her carseat without waking her up. He draped his baby sister over his shoulder, smiling at Trevor who almost laughed at just how easy Noah made it look. He definitely had the magic touch with the toddler.

Patrick opened the front door, carrying Chloe out with him on her hip. "Say Hiiiii Auntie Liv!"

Chloe waved at her as she walked up the driveway, glancing over her shoulder. Olivia grinned and waved back. "Would you like to go with Auntie Liv inside while I help Uncle Trev and Noah with their bags?"

Chloe nodded and Olivia reached out to take her. "Hiiii darling, how are you?"

At nearly three years old, Chloe was much better at talking than Lexi. "Good!"

Olivia opened the front screen and let herself inside. "Hiiiii everyone!"

"Hey Liv," Raia smiled at her sister-in-law, appraising her ease and familiarity with her parents and her own daughter. She said nothing, but she felt instantly irritated.

"Hi beautiful girl," Georgie greeted her, reaching for her, hugging her warmly. Chloe wriggled to get down so Olivia set her down.

"Sorry, I'd get up, but I'm baby trapped," Raia told her. She was feeding Sadie in her lap.

"Oh," Olivia waved her hand, "that's totally fine, how's Sadie?"

"She's good, I almost had her asleep," she told her and Olivia picked up a little zap of spite within her remark, as if their arrival had interrupted her.

"Oh, sorry about that… I'll go tell the boys to come in quietly."

"No, its fine, she probably won't want to go to sleep now that Uncle Trevor is here…" she replied.

Olivia didn't quite know what to say, so she decided to ignore the comment and go to the front door and wait for her Trevor and Noah, feeling slightly unwelcome.

"Here honey, let me take Lexi," Olivia told Noah who was also holding a bag.

"Its okay Mom, I've got her," Noah insisted. They got inside and finally Noah let Georgie take her granddaughter while he and Trevor took their things upstairs. Lexi woke up and immediately began to cry.

"Oh honey, its okay," Georgie soothed her with Patrick beside her, smoothing their granddaughters hair. "We missed you so much!" Patrick added, "we'll have to come and stay again soon, won't we?"

Lexi nodded, her lower lip protruding as her face crumpled in to weary cries again. "Well, I might get going," Raia announced.

"No, why? We just got here!" Olivia protested, "I need some girl time," she smiled at her, trying her best to smooth over whatever weirdness had passed through them.

"I've just come off nights, I'm pretty tired," Raia replied.

"Is Gavin at home? Who's going to watch the babies while you sleep?"

"Exactly, Olivia has a point," Georgie interjected, "why don't you go upstairs and lay down in our bed and we can watch the girls while you get a few hours in."

Trevor came back downstairs followed by Noah and formally said hellos and hugs. Trevor went and took a seat beside Raia and smiled at his niece. "How are you?" He asked his sister.

"Managing," she replied. "I'm tired. I've barely slept this week."

"Well, go sleep… we can take care of the girls," he told her.

"I can't just dump the girls on everyone, you said it yourself-"

"Whoa," Trevor laughed out of irony. "I did not say that at all. Don't put words in my mouth. You kept asking when Mom and Dad were coming home and I said I didn't know and when you stressed that you weren't sure what you were going to do with the kids like it was my fault, I suggested you have an alternate arrangement set up like we do."

"Perfect Trevor…" Raia retorted in monotone.

"Hey, stop it… both of you," Patrick told them both bluntly. "When we want to go to the city to see your brother and Liv and the kids, we are going to do it and it's not really your place to be mad at anyone for it, certainly not Trevor."

Olivia felt stressed by the skirmish she'd unknowingly walked in on.

"Come on Noah, let's go sit out back."

Noah looked a little bewildered. He could tell his Mom felt a little attacked, and he did too. He liked when his grandparents visited. He liked having extra people around to talk to and to hang out with. He loved that his Grandpa had gone to the park with him and his friends to kick the ball.

He felt protective of his Mom though. He wasn't sure what Raia's problem was, but he didn't want his Mom to have to suffer it. He followed her, ignoring Trevor's protests, outside to the back deck.

/

"Thanks a lot, Raia, I don't know what your problem is, but it's not with Olivia."

His sister drew in a deep breath and glanced at her brother, trying very hard to recognise that he had moved on from Lana, she was okay with that, but it was hard to reconcile the new life he'd made — it seemed like a leap from seeing a woman to suddenly being a father of three.

Maybe it wasn't about Olivia, but Raia couldn't deny that it seemed shockingly fast. Her brother was a good catch and she was pretty sure Olivia had worked that out and maybe that had a lot to do with her 14 year old son calling him Dad — which, in her opinion, was a little strange.

"I'm sorry, I'm still trying to get over the whiplash of you even having kids."

Trevor sighed, "if you've got something to say, Raia, now's the time, you've got the floor, but you should know that I will protect Noah and Olivia with every bit of me."

"It was just fast and now because everything has moved so fast, I'm the one who has to seek alternate arrangements when before, there was nothing wrong with the arrangement."

"Yeah, I don't know what to tell you on that one, sis," he told her with weariness, "things change, life evolves, you're not the only one to have children."

"Yeah but mine weren't spontaneously generated," she muttered.

Trevor glanced up at his parents who looked horrified. He laughed in disbelief. "And here I was, expecting that of all the people who would understand, it would be my sister— of all the people who could share in the joy and happiness I've found and how badly I wanted to be a father and how I finally got my wish - that family doesn't always mean biology, I thought you would get it, that our kids could be close and the best of friends… I didn't come here for this. I came here to see my parents because I missed them, I missed your girls and so does Liv and Noah and Lexi…"

He paused, "I actually missed you too, but right now you're making me want to put my shit back in my car and go home."

He got up and took his daughter from his stunned parents.

He went to the fridge and collected a beer on the way outside. "Hey…" he greeted both Noah and Olivia. He gave them both a weak smile. "I'm really sorry you both had to witness that."

"It sounded bad," Olivia frowned, "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"Yeah…" he passed Lexi to Olivia and cracked his bottle open.

Noah scowled. "I really thought Raia liked us," he murmured quietly.

"Honey, it's not about us," Liv told her son gently, leaning across the outdoor table. "I think Raia wasn't ready to see big changes with Dad so quickly."

"You're right," Trevor murmured, "I think this is about Lana. She's angry because Lana was her best friend and she hasn't grieved because she was too busy taking care of me… and now that grief has settled for me, it's probably only just beginning for her."

"Why doesn't she just say that?," Noah asked.

"Because feelings are very complicated around death, Sunshine," Trevor told him, "but it's not about you or your Mom or even Lexi… or babysitting." He took a big gulp of his beer, washing almost half of it away. "But even so," he continued, "none of us deserve to be spoken to or treated like that, I don't care how sad she is."

"Did we make a mistake coming here?," Olivia asked softly.

"You absolutely did no such thing," Patrick told Olivia firmly, overhearing her as he pushed the back screen open to join them. "Don't sweat it, Liv, you guys did nothing wrong and we want you here…" He came to Noah's side and placed his hands on his shoulders. "Georgie and I have been looking forward to your visit."

"Did Raia leave?" Trevor asked.

"No, she and your Mom are talking."

"Do you think it'd be okay if I went to talk to her?" Olivia asked, "I don't want her to feel like we've come here to throw a spanner in her life and make things harder."

"Liv, you don't have to do that, this is not your responsibility-" Trevor replied.

"I know, but… maybe I can be a bit more patient than her protective brother."

"I think maybe that might be nice," Patrick agreed with her, "but you don't have to."

Olivia already pushed her chair back. She carried Lexi with her inside. "Come on, let's go speak to Grandma and Auntie Raia," she told her daughter.

She could hear someone crying and she knew it was Raia. "Hey…" she greeted them both. Raia looked up at Olivia and wiped her cheeks, embarrassed. "I'm sorry to interrupt but… I really wanted to talk to you," she told her.

"Liv it's okay- I'm not mad at you-"

"I know. I haven't done anything for you to be mad at, but its okay if you feel angry in general with the situation."

Olivia's calmness seemed to make her feel only more irritated. Georgie got up, "Let me give you girls a few moments."

Olivia sat down on the couch and looked at Lexi, "sit nicely for Mommy," she told her softly. Raia stared at her for a moment before looking away. "I know I'm not Lana-"

"No," Raia said firmly, "I don't want to do this-"

"Maybe it just feels like I've jumped in too quickly, trying to fill someone else's shoes and you're not used to seeing Trevor with me or with the kids-"

"Liv, please-" Raia began, "it's not about Lana, it's not even about Trevor. I'm just tired of trying to keep everything running smoothly and losing the only person that I trust enough to help me has been stressful."

"I don't know if it'll help but I apologise, I don't want things to be stressful for you. I know how stressful it can get with a baby, when I had Noah, I had no one to help me at all and I didn't trust a soul with him, even when he was as old as 10-"

"With all due respect, Olivia, that was your choice to take on a child when you had no one to help."

Slighted by her words, Olivia blinked at her, surprised. "You also had a choice too, Raia," she told her quietly. "I had to make it work because I loved my boy more than life itself and I know you feel the same about your girls. I might not have had the opportunity to have a child naturally, but I made the choice that was right for me and I know people might feel whatever they want about that, but I wouldn't trade my delightful, beautiful, bright boy for any thread of biology in the world — and the same goes for Lexi…. But I know you're not mad at that either."

Olivia was used to people using her as a punching bag when it came to trying to talk them through something difficult, she wasn't particularly phased, but it was always a punch to the gut when someone inadvertently inferred that sharing DNA with their child made them more of a mother or a father.

"I just wanted to tell you that despite how tough its been, I'm here — I may not be the sister in law that you want, but I hope you'll get used to me and accept me over time. If you ever need anything or any help with the girls, I'm here, I'm just a phone call away and if you want to go home or upstairs and sleep, we would love to spend time with them…"

Raia swallowed her annoyance. She wasn't being fair and she knew it. She knew that she had said something incredibly rude to Olivia and it required an apology. She knew Olivia wanted to keep the peace and was trying hard to make things okay. She looked up at Trevor's partner and felt her annoyance dissolve. There was an unmistakable film of water covering her eyes.

"I'm sorry for being so thoughtless… I didn't mean what I sai-"

"Its okay," Liv replied, "I know you're exhausted and I know how cranky and emotional I can get when I haven't slept properly. If you still hate me when you wake up, I'll leave you alone and give you space."

"I don't hate you…" she said quickly, "I don't hate you at all, Olivia, I like you, you make my brother happy and that's all I could ask for."

"But I'm not your best friend, I understand and its okay."

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer to have a sleep…"

"Please…" Olivia gave her a weak smile. "Do you need one of us to drive you home?"

"No, I'll just go sleep in Mom's bed.

Olivia nodded. "Okay. I hope you feel better when you get up."

/

Once Raia had gone upstairs, Trevor came inside and could tell that his sister had upset Liv. She didn't want to talk about it and insisted that she was fine; he knew her better than that though. "Why don't we take the girls outside to play while it's still warm?" Patrick suggested to his wife and Noah, give you guys a minute."

"I'm fine," Olivia smiled at him. "I think Raia is tired, I know how that is, I'm a shift worker too."

Noah already had Lexi and both Patrick and Georgie ignored Liv, taking the other two outside. Noah glanced at his Mom and Trevor, hoping that he could get something from them to tell if everything was truly okay. The situation was making him a little anxious, he hated conflict.

"Its okay Sunshine," Trevor told him with a little smile. "Everything is fine, I promise."

Olivia looked up to see the concern on her son's face. "Sweetheart, are you alright?," she asked her son gently, "you look worried."

"I just… don't like fighting," he said softly. She understood, he was still scarred from the fights with Elliot In the past.

"No one is fighting, sweetie, I promise, there was just a misunderstanding and everything is fine."

"We'll come outside in a minute," Trevor added.

Noah reluctantly left them to it and headed out.

/

"Ok, tell me, are you okay? You look ready to cry," Trevor pushed.

"No," she told him drawing in a deep breath, "its okay, I'm fine. Your sister is … I think she just is upset for a lot of reasons and one of them is Lana… and she's just saying things."

"Yes, but I'm asking what she said to you specifically. I know my sister, love, she can be really cruel when she's upset. I want to know what she said because I can tell you're upset."

"I'm not telling you, Trev, I'm fine, I know she doesn't mean anything she says so its alright. I need you guys to just get along. I am not going to be responsible for you and your sister having some weird faction between you both. We need to forget it."

"Liv," he cocked his head. "I won't let her upset you."

"Trevor, I'm serious. It's fine. Let it go. Just be kind to her, she's struggling with the changes and I'm not making excuses for her, but she lost someone too and maybe she hasn't dealt with that yet, this might be hard for her."

He sighed, that was at least something he could relate to. "Okay," he replied. "I'm sorry for what we walked in to and for whatever she said, I'm sorry that she did that."

Olivia just gave him a weary smile. She rested her hand on his chest and kissed his lips. "Its okay. I love you." She paused, "I was actually just thinking, we should go to the grocery store and get some food and drinks and things, it wasn't really appropriate to expect to eat your parents food — especially with Noah, the way that he snacks…"

"Yeah… maybe we'll go a little later. What do you want to do now? Do you want to go and take some time for yourself or do you want to go outside and hang out with the kids and Mom and Dad?"

"Yeah, let's go outside. I told Raia we'd look after the girls. And if it helps Trev, she did apologise to me."

"Good," he agreed. He was angry but he didn't want to let Olivia feel the weight of it - he didn't want her to feel responsible for his sister's childish behaviour, so he let it go, but he wasn't going to let it go with Raia.

/

"And how are you feeling since everything last week?," Georgie asked Noah as he stood in the kitchen beside his grandmother, while Liv and Trev and Patrick played outside with the girl's bubble machine, delighting in the joy that it brought the three toddlers.

"Better," Noah replied with a smile, "I'm sure Mom and Dad told you-"

"No, honey… I know you were having a hard time with something because Mom was very upset too because of how worried about you she was."

Noah was cutting up some cheese before giving a shrug. "I don't know how to say it and I'm worried about people judging me or not loving me the same."

"Well, you don't have to worry about your grandma ever judging you, sweetheart," she promised him. "I will always love you unconditionally and so will grandpa."

Noah continued to cut up the cheddar before moving on to the softer cheeses in silence, remembering to put the soft ones to the opposite side knowing that his Mom couldn't have them.

"I'm gay," he said softly. The words were barely audible and he'd never said it out loud so resolutely. He was petrified of saying it, of making it real.

For a moment Georgie didn't say a word and Noah felt his breath catch. He froze, his hand around the knife, paused.

He felt her sidling up close to him; she put an arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. "That doesn't matter to me and it won't matter to your grandpa, we love you no matter what and being gay doesn't change your character."

Noah let go of the knife and turned toward Georgie and let her hug him. "I love you too."

She gave him a squeeze, feeling her newest grandson breathe a sigh of relief. "Its okay, Noah, you never need to be scared to tell us anything."

"Thanks Grandma…"

"Aww this looks sweet," Patrick smiled, opening the back screen door, letting it clatter against the house. "What's going on, kiddo?," he asked Noah.

"Noah was just telling me something very important," Georgie told her husband.

"Oh, no-" Noah stopped, a little panicked. "It's not that important."

"It's important to you, honey and it's important to not have to have secrets sitting so deeply within you."

Patrick's interest was piqued. "What is it?"

Georgie looked to Noah but saw that he was scared; she understood why he may have found it easier to tell her than her husband. "Is it okay if I say?," she asked his permission.

Noah nodded slowly. Patrick could see the fear on the teen's face. He began to feel a little uneasy, concerned about what might come out of his wife's mouth.

"Noah told me that he was a little afraid to tell us that he's gay," she told her husband casually, "and I told him that nothing he could tell us would ever make us love him any less."

"Oh, kiddo, Grandma is right," Patrick smiled without even flinching. "You're gay? I hope that you meet a great guy who knows that Yale is the team we're going to be supporting and nationally, it'll be the Bills."

Noah started to laugh with relief, "I'll try make sure of that."

Patrick gave him a hug. "You're still an amazing grandson and we still feel so blessed that you have come in to our lives."

"Me too," Noah replied.

"Can we uh… not tell anyone else? I'm not ready for anyone outside of my family and my two best friends to know."

"Of course, sweetheart," Georgie replied. "But as long as you know you are always free to be yourself with us…"

Noah nodded, "that means a lot, thanks…"

Patrick continued to the fridge to get some beers. He grabbed a diet coke and set it down in front of Noah. "Don't tell Mom and Dad I gave you a soda," he winked at him and patted his back.

Noah chuckled and went back to the cheese. "Thanks Grandpa."

/

"Aww this is so nice," Olivia remarked with a smile, looking at her phone. She turned to Trevor, "I just got a text from Hannah, apparently Tara told Kaci that she could have Noah and Adam over on monday afternoon…" she told him, "Hannah said that Tara extended that invite to both of us but she was a bit scared of asking me herself?"

"Aww, I think Tara is a bit in awe of you," Trevor replied with a smile, "maybe you should text Tara, will you go?"

"Yeah… I'm really liking having other Mom friends of teens, it's… kind of nice."

Trevor smiled, "I love that for you…"

Hi Tara, it's Olivia Benson. I hope you're doing well. I just got a text from Hannah asking about Monday afternoon, are you sure you want me there?

A few moments later she got a response from Tara.

Hi Olivia! Its so nice to hear from you, I don't know, is it weird to ask you and Hannah to hang out? My thinking was that the kids are such good friends and … given everything that's happened, I've never really had the opportunity to have friends or at least a community of women around me who have a shared interest, I don't really know how to approach this stuff — so if its too much, I understand but I thought it might be nice. I know you're busy with your new baby, but you are very welcome to bring her too! I would love to meet her.

Olivia smiled sweetly at the text. She showed Trevor who slid an arm around her, resting his cheek on her shoulder. "Aww, that's so nice! What a sweetheart."

She responded immediately, Tara that is so sweet, I would love to hang out with you and Hannah. For different reasons, I've not really had the opportunity to have other Mom friends either, I was just telling Trevor now that I've never been friends with any of Noah's friend's Moms, so this is perfect. I would love to be there and I may need to bring Lexi too.

"I'll take Lexi," Trevor told her simply, "you should get to have girl time without having disruptions of a toddler, I'm happy to take her as soon as I get in from work."

"How about if I take her with me and then you can swing by the Tramwell apartment on the way home and pick her up, or go home first and get changed?"

"Yeah, I'll just walk to school on monday and I can pick her up on the way home," he smiled. "I think its important you have time for yourself with your friends…"

"Oh, and before I forget, we have dinner at the Carisi's next friday night," Olivia told him, "Serafina told me I've cancelled out of too many and shit out of excuses," she laughed.

Trevor laughed, "No, that's fine…" she leaned over and kissed Trevor's lips softly. "Thank you."

/

"Trev," Trevor turned around to find his sister at the back door. "Could I please talk to you for a minute?"

He didn't say a word, he kissed Olivia and pushed his chair back and went inside, ignoring the stares from his Mom and Dad. He followed Raia in to the family room, trying his best to stay neutral in his feelings. "What is it?," he wondered.

"Are you mad at me?," she asked.

"Raia, I don't know what you said to Olivia, all I know is that she was upset and she's such a good woman that she would not repeat it because she didn't want me to be mad at you."

"But you're mad at me."

"I just don't know what's going on, I'm confused with why you're picking fights with me and Olivia."

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired, overworked, frustrated and feeling like I have zero support and it's not your fault and it's not Olivia's fault."

Trevor weakened a little. "What about Gav?"

Raia shook her head and sighed, "Trevor, women give up their time in relationships when it comes to kids, not men, men feel emasculated at the drop of a hat if they have to forgo plans or work…"

"I don't feel like that…" he said quietly.

"Yeah, cos you're a unicorn," she retorted with a half laugh. "I asked Gavin if we could get a nanny and he was firmly against the idea."

"Well you need to tell him that unless he wants to give up some of his hours, then he needs to meet you halfway, because I'm not having my sister feeling like the world is on her shoulders, its not fair," he told her protectively, "if you need me to talk to him, I will."

"I guess this is why I was so panicked about Mom and Dad being away… I got no sleep and Gavin and I had a huge fight about it. I don't want to give up my position at work, it took me far too long to get it, Trevor."

"That's fair, I'll talk to him, Raia, honestly, this is not fair…"

"No its okay…" she sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Thanks for watching the girls so I could sleep."

"Maybe we can have the girls overnight so you can get a proper night's sleep."

She shook her head. "They won't cope with that," she sighed. "It's fine, I appreciate you guys overseeing them while I had a sleep. I woke up feeling like a real jackass, but I guess I do really miss Lana and sometimes its jarring to see you with someone else…"

He desperately didn't want to be upset with her for having her feelings, but he was unsure of what she expected. He gave a shrug. "I guess… it is what it is, Raia… I had to let go and Olivia is … someone that I didn't know I was ready for."

"Can I ask one question without you getting offended or upset with me? Know that as your sister, I ask this out of love and compassion and not an ounce of judgment."

With some hesitation Trevor nodded, "Okay…"

"Are you ready though? I mean, this is a lot…" she lowered her voice, "the fact that Noah calls you his Dad, the fact that you have a toddler, who's idea was that? Liv is pregnant - it's a lot, are you truly ready for that? Because I want to tell you what it looks like from the outside but-"

"I'm ready and none of these decisions were made without me nor were they made by guilting me," he told his sister firmly.

"It looks like… this woman has walked in, she's seen you and realised what a good, kind, giving soul you are and has … especially trapped you and you're a good catch and a responsible man so there's no way you'll shirk responsibilities now."

"Stop it…. Fuck."

"You know, the decision for my son to call Trevor his son was one that was made entirely without me," Olivia spoke up from the entryway of the room, "I'm sorry," she said to Trevor, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't help but to overhear that…" tears streamed down her cheeks with hurt and embarrassment. "You don't know me, Raia, you don't know what I've been through in my life and Trevor was a lot happier about this pregnancy than I was at first—"

"Liv, it's okay-" Trevor jumped up, "you don't have to explain yourself," he said quickly, "you didn't do anything wrong."

"I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, because I know you miss Lana, I know I can't replace her, but I love your brother and I would never ever want him to be with me if that's not what he wanted too."

"Don't," Raia shook her head, "you don't get to talk about her like you knew her, Olivia."

"Leave Olivia the fuck alone," Trevor snapped, "she can talk about Lana however she likes, she's been the only one who's ever bothered to let me talk about her. I didn't come here to get attacked for moving on and I won't stand for you attacking Olivia or any decisions we've made together."

"Olivia I have nothing against you, you're right, I don't know you… but shit, you have to admit, normally the convention is that I would get to know you before you start a family with my brother." She turned to Trevor, "this is not like you, you don't jump in to things."

"Or maybe you just don't know me anymore," he shouted, "maybe you don't know anything about me because you let too much time pass and maybe you were too busy with Lana to know anything about me save for her perception of me. Our marriage wasn't perfect, Raia, I loved her and I felt lost without her, but I've grown up! I've moved on, maybe you should too!"

He turned around to find Olivia had disappeared.

"You're burying Lana with her, Trevor," Raia spat the words at him as she let the tears fill her eyes and spill out over her face.

"No," he said firmly, "any guilt or regret that I feel is because what I have with Olivia something that I feel deep within my soul and I connect with her in a way that is unlike anything or any single person I've had in my life… It doesn't mean I don't value what I had with Lana or that I didn't love her, it just means I've moved on and I can still honour her memory while getting on with my life and it's not your fucking business to try to judge me or Olivia for that!"

He looked up to see Noah by Liv's side, holding Lexi. Olivia grabbed her handbag that she had left by the door and walked out the front. Noah glanced at Trevor as he closed the door behind him.

He cursed under his breath and followed straight out the front door. He found Olivia putting his daughter in to her car seat. "Liv, wait, where are you going?," he asked quickly, catching up with her.

"I just need to leave…" she told him, shrugging his touch from her shoulder. "I don't want to be here. She doesn't want me here, I am not causing this drama for your Mom and Dad, they don't deserve it. We're going to go and look for a hotel."

"No!" Trevor said firmly, "no, you're absolutely not."

Lexi began to cry as Olivia closed the backdoor. "Olivia stop."

She turned around to face him and he saw how devastated she was; the hurt spread out across the beautiful plains of her face. "I'm so sorry," he apologised, "this is not about you, I don't want you to go anywhere- please."

"We can't stay here, Trevor, I'm so fucking embarrassed," she shot back, "what if that's what your parents think too?"

"It's not. She has a fucking bug up her ass because her husband is being a dick and she thinks the world exists to serve her," he short back passionately, not wanting Olivia to leave.

"I don't care," she wiped her eyes. He tried to slid his arms around her but she pushed him away. "Please, Trevor, don't make this harder for me…"

"You can't just leave, Liv, you can't take the kids and just go- if you're going then I'm coming with you."

He wrapped his arms around her again, holding on just a little tighter as she tried to shrug him away, "Liv, please," he repeated, "stop fighting me, I love you, I love Noah, Lexi, our baby on the way! This is her bullshit hang ups, not mine."

She let out a sob and gave up trying to fight him. She let him gather her in his arms and pull her close. He glanced at Noah who was in the passenger side of the car with the door closed, hating every second of the confrontation. "I'm so sorry for what she said," he murmured, kissing her, "you didn't deserve that."

He heard the front door open and looked up to find both girls in his sisters arms with his father following after her. He glanced over with anger and annoyance as he followed Raia to her car. He took Chloe from her without a word and went to the opposite side of her car and strapped the toddler in while Raia worked on Sadie.

"Don't you ever set foot in my home and pull that shit again," he told her angrily. "Trevor, Liv and the kids are my guests, not yours, imagine if someone dared speak to you like that."

Without a word, Raia wiped her tears from her face and got in to the driver's seat and drove out of the driveway, refusing to look at her brother and his family, embarrassed by the way she was told off quietly and firmly by her own father.

"I didn't want this to happen," Liv cried quietly. He held her tightly. "Its okay, it wasn't just you she said awful things to, sweetheart," he told her softly, caressing her hair, pulling away just slightly so he could see her face. "I'm so sorry she said all of those things, none of it is true and I don't even think she believes it, she's just angry in her grief — but its not an excuse."

He kissed her softly on the forehead. "I love you sweetheart," he told her, "and I'm so happy with you and everything we are together."

"I love you too," she replied softly.

"Olivia, I am so sorry, honey," Patrick apologised to her, "I hope you'll come back inside, she had no right to treat you like that and speak to you or Trevor in that way."

"It's okay," Olivia replied, wiping her eyes self-consciously.

"Dad, can you maybe take Noah and Lex inside? We'll just talk for a few more minutes," Trevor told his father.

Patrick nodded. He opened up the passenger side of the car, "Come on kiddo," he smiled encouragingly at Noah, "we're gonna get your sister and go inside and give Mom and Dad a second to talk."

"No, I don't want to leave my Mom," he protested, sliding out of the car.

"Noah its okay," Olivia assured him, "I'll be right behind you both."

Reluctantly, Noah did as he was told, watching Patrick grab Lexi from her carseat, quelling her whining.

Trevor watched his Dad put an arm around Noah protectively and guide him back inside, leaving them out the front by the car. "That was so … humiliating, Trevor," she murmured, her face crumpling with distress again, "the fact that she might make your Mom and Dad re-consider what they think of me, like I need to trap a man-"

"Liv, my parents love you. I never wanted to say this out loud, but I know for a fact that they weren't always the biggest fans of Lana for a lot of reasons— they came round in the end once we married, but they didn't love her for a long time — but you?," he smiled, "they love you and I know they've loved you from the second they met you and I am sure that's part of why Raia is so upset."

"I know this isn't about me, but it feels like it's about me and I really wanted to be friends with your sister. I don't want it to be weird."

"Me either, but… you didn't do this and we can't control what she does, I feel sad too and I'm always going to protect you, you and Noah, Lexi and baby are my priorities over anyone else and I don't need you to run away. I've got you, okay? If you feel worried or scared, you just need to stand behind me."

She realised his words were more metaphoric. She embraced him tightly. He could feel her desperate need for him. He felt terrible and regretful that he'd suggested that they visit his parents when he hadn't entirely smoothed things over with Raia beforehand.

He sighed. "Come on, you don't need this stress, let's go inside and we can have a low-key night with Mom, Dad and the kids…"

She nodded in agreement.

/

"Is Liv okay?" Georgie asked Trevor as he joined her in the kitchen to figure out something for dinner.

"Yeah…" he nodded, "she's just tired and a little sad; she was embarrassed by all the stupid things that came out of Raia's mouth,"

"I'll go and talk to her tomorrow, her behaviour was very out of character," Georgie told him, "but it was inappropriate and I'm just so sorry, honey."

"Its okay, Mom, not your fault," Trevor replied giving her a little smile. "Anyway, we want to treat you guys to dinner tonight if thats okay?"

"No, I'll cook-"

"No Mom, you don't need to cook, let's just have an easy night in— we could have pizza or pasta or something."

"Okay," she relented. "Find out what your Dad wants…"

Once Trevor organised dinner, he and Olivia ordered on her phone. It was around an hour away and they sat in the living room together, Noah on the floor in front of the couch playing his Nintendo and Trevor and Olivia were cuddled up on the couch. Olivia felt her eyes slowly closing, feeling safe in his embrace; finally calmer after all that happened.

He stroked her hair as he felt her getting heavier against him, knowing that she was falling asleep. His free hand found his way from her waist to her warm pregnant belly that was showing just a little more every day. He could barely believe that his child was growing inside of her.

He let his eyes close too, relaxing with the woman that he loved so much.

What a shit-show, he thought to himself right before he drifted off, he hoped the rest of the weekend would be uneventful and free of any other drama.