Hey everyone, sorry that this update has taken a little longer than usual, but I've been really exhausted with life etc, havent had as much time to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Its a bit cute and fluffy. :)
"Hey guys…" Trevor greeted Kaci and Noah who were sitting in his bedroom, "I'm pretty sure there's a rule in place about being in bedrooms," he reminded them gently.
Noah looked up and Trevor realised instantly that he was upset. "You okay?," he asked.
"Noah's just a bit upset with what happened at the park," Kaci replied softly. "We just came to talk, he didn't want to upset Liv," she explained.
"Sunshine, do you want to talk about it?"
Noah shook his head, "it's been talked to death," he muttered, "I am just really done and I hate seeing his ugly face."
Trevor nodded, "I know, I wish I could make you both feel better, kiddo, I do… but I think we have to let this one play out and talk about it if you or Mom need to."
"I know," he agreed.
"Why don't you both give Grandma that amazing gift, I'm sure it will cheer everyone up and then we'll have some cake and later on if you feel like talking, we can…"
"I just wanna sulk in my bed," he replied with a half laugh.
"Yeah, that's not happening, you have company and let's just say you'll understand why I have reservations about you both being in here without supervision." Noah gave him a weak smile.
"Okay Dad…" his voice trailed off.
"Five minutes okay? And then no more of this disappearing in to the bedroom. You guys both know the rules. Not at least without asking."
"K…"
/
Olivia felt a lot more relaxed sitting in the living room where she could see Georgie and Patrick marvelling over the gift that Noah had made for her. She felt good despite what had happened earlier and was happy to have Trevor by her side with Raia and Gavin sitting at the dining table too.
She felt her eyes closing, heavy with fatigue.
"Why don't you go and lay down in bed, baby?," Trevor suggested gently, touching her calf that he had insisted she lifted over his thighs.
"I'm comfortable here…" she told him, opening her eyes up. "I want to be close to you."
"Why don't you come up this end…" he grabbed a cushion and placed it on his lap and gave it a pat. "I'll play with your hair."
He took her hand and helped her up and allowed her to get comfortable. He smiled at how happy she seemed to be for him to pamper her a little. "You're such baby," he teased, the second she rested her head down. He felt her chuckle. He leaned over and kissed her temple. "My baby…" he ran his fingers through her brown locks, gently pulling it out of the hair tie that was holding it back. He felt her arm linking around his knees.
He knew she was asleep immediately. "Is she feeling okay?" Raia asked her brother, appearing in the living room. He continued to caress her longish hair. He smiled at his sister and gave a shrug. "Always with the brave face…"
"Poor thing," she murmured, "at least her blood pressure is stable this time. I hope you told that piece of shit that if he approaches her again we'll all go after him."
Trevor gave a chuckle, "yeah, something like that…"
She came to sit down on the armchair where Noah sometimes curled up. She yawned and stretched out. "I could have a nap myself if the girls weren't due to wake up soon…"
"Just have a nap, Mom and Dad can work it out," Trevor replied. "I'm about to sleep too," he laughed, "lunch was just too good."
Raia laughed and lifted her feet to rest on the leg rest. She got a little comfortable and Trevor listened to the sound of his parents chatting to the kids and let his eyes close.
/
"Oh my gosh is that the house?!" Kaci asked her Mom, "is that where we are staying?"
Tara beamed at her daughter proudly. "Do you love it?" She felt proud of herself that for once she didn't have to take what she felt was almost charity - she was able to pay her own and Kaci's way.
"Yeah! It's amazing. Is everyone staying there?"
"Yeah, you and I are sharing a room - is that okay?"
"Of course!," she grinned, she was so excited. "Mama you realise this is our first holiday together that isn't Grandma and Grandpas… I don't think I've ever been on a holiday before."
There was a pang of regret and sadness within Tara that felt awful that her daughter had been deprived of life's greatest pleasure after working hard. "I know and I'm so sorry about that baby, but you know what? That's going to change now. We are going to take as many holidays as I can afford."
"I was thinking, I could get an after school job, Mom, I could help money wise…"
"No! I don't want you working, not yet. I want you to enjoy being a kid; enjoy your gym classes and hanging out with Noah and Adam and Katie and cheer stuff— there's plenty of time to work when you're grown, sweetie."
Kaci shrugged, "well, thanks for bringing us— this place looks amazing."
She looked back at the huge house set on the beach front with a beautiful view of the ocean. "You're very welcome, my gorgeous girl," Tara replied, kissing her daughter's cheek. "OK, babe, let's go in and say hello to everyone."
"Who's actually here?," Kaci wanted to know.
"Liv, Trevor and Noah and Lexi, I think Georgie and Patrick and Amanda and the girls and then Sonny is joining us on Sunday when he's coming off a shift and I think Raia and her kids and husband are coming for a night or two and Hannah is still waiting to see if her leave for the Sunday and Monday was approved…"
"Wow, I hope that house is huge," Kaci remarked with a laugh. "Are you gonna be okay Mom, with all those people?" She knew her Mom sometimes shrunk when there was a lot of people around.
"Yeah, I think I know everyone well enough now, but we have our own room and we can get away and hang out there for time out if we need, babe. Or we have the car so we can go for a drive and do something, just you and I…"
"I wanna do something fun with just you as well, like… even if its just going for a walk on the marina for ice cream—"
Kaci had heard so much about Long Island from Noah and how he had spent a few summers there with Olivia when he was younger. She was excited. "Love you baby, I can't wait for that. Maybe we should get up early and go for a walk together in the mornings or even at night before bed…"
"Yeah, that sounds like so much fun," Kaci agreed. She had only ever been to the beach once in her life when her older cousin and father took her on a quick visit to see family in Newark. So excited to see the sand and water, she shrieked with happiness, forgetting herself and bolting toward the sand so that she could jump and play. Her father had grabbed her firmly and swiftly and dragged her back to the path and she knew better than to react. She simply apologised and didn't look back, only ahead, wondering what the point of the visit had been if she wasn't allowed to touch the water with her feet.
"Mom," Kaci asked, as they began to unload the car, "have you ever been to the beach?"
"Yeah…" she smiled at her daughter, "when I was younger, when your father and I first met, we used to go to the beach a lot." She paused, "Oh honey, this is your first time at the beach!," she realised. "Are you excited?"
"Dad took me once with Carla because Aunt Sarah had been pushing him to do it. Carla didn't want to go but Aunt Sarah made her and Dad told me in front of them that it was a huge surprise for me and I was gonna get to see the sand and the water and… he didn't let me touch either the sand or the water and I forgot how to behave for a second and got excited and he grabbed me and pulled me back on to the path and looked so angry that I didn't say a word. We watched the water for a minute and then he took us back to the car."
Tara stared at her daughter again, almost in shock. "I didn't know that, sweetheart, I'm sorry."
Kaci shrugged. "Its okay. Here, pass me that bag, I've got it."
"Gooooooood afternoon guys!" Noah and Trevor came out to meet them. Noah was in a pair of board shorts, his usually shaggy curls, slicked back from the water. "Hiiii!" He greeted them after Trevor. "Let us help you!" Kaci let Trevor give her a big, warm hug before he moved on to Tara and then she grinned at Noah. He held his arms out, "I'm wet from the pool but… gimme a hug."
"Ewww, no, I don't want water all over me," she giggled but gave in anyway.
Once inside and after greeting everyone, Olivia and Trevor encouraged them to pick any of the balcony rooms that they wanted. Tara was a little choosey, not wanting to take the one with the bathroom ensuite, feeling like that was a little too entitled. "Nooo, take that one," Olivia told her, "better that you take it now before someone else snaps it up."
"No, its okay, I don't mind— Trev your parents might want the privacy."
"No," he shook his head, "Mom and Dad will be happy with whatever, you and Kaci are staying here as long as Mom and Dad, so please take the room with the ensuite if you want it."
"Thanks guys," Tara smiled sheepishly. "Kaci and I are so excited for the break, aren't we, sweetheart?," she asked her daughter, resting her hands on her shoulders.
"Yeah," Kaci smiled, "I can't wait to put my bathers on and go for a swim and check out the beach."
"We just realised that Kace has never been to the beach…" Tara remarked.
"Oh! Are you serious!? Okay we'll have to fix that— all you have to do is step out on to the balcony to watch the ocean," Olivia told them, "but it's out the back door so… you can go whenever you're ready."
"We'll give you guys some time to unpack or decide what you wanna do, but please know that this house is as much as yours as is ours for the duration of the trip, k? So please don't feel worried about making yourselves at home."
"Thanks," both Kaci and Tara smiled. Noah was lingering, wanting some time to hug and kiss his girlfriend but Trevor grabbed his arm. "Come on, Noah, you too, they just arrived, give them some time to settle in, kiddo."
Kaci grinned at him and gave him a little wink. "Okayyyyyy," Noah moaned.
/
"Noah," Olivia spoke softly to him, "this getaway for Tara and Kaci is their first holiday that they've ever taken together, I know you're excited to see Kace, but I need you to allow them some space to hang out alone too, okay? Please don't make me have to keep repeating myself about that."
Looking deflated, he frowned, "I know but…"
"I know," she repeated, "I know you want to hang out, but I really need you to be understanding if she wants to go hang out with her Mom or if her Mom wants to go and do something on their own."
"Okay," he nodded, hating it, but understanding. He was glad he didn't have to go a week or so without seeing her. He knew at the very least they'd be sharing meal times and maybe they'd be allowed to go swimming together.
"Noah, why don't we grab Lexi and we'll take her for a walk to the store and grab some more soda and some stuff for the cook out for when Aunt Amanda arrives with the kids," Trevor suggested.
"Okay," he agreed. "I just have to put a shirt on."
"Good thinking," Trevor agreed.
/
"Hi Grandma!" Kaci greeted Georgie with a big grin. Georgie loved it, she cuddled the little blond girl close and then gave Tara a warm hug too. "Hi Grandma," Tara chuckled with a wink.
"Hi my beauties," she greeted them, "you look so adorable in your bathers!," she complimented Kaci. She wore a simple black two piece bikini that looked more like a sports bra for a top and a pair of shorts for the bottoms. Kaci complained that it looked childish, but she didn't have the chance to buy anything new. Tara promised that they'd look for something else on their trip.
"Thanks," she replied humourlessly. "Liv? Where's Noah?"
"Oh, he and Trevor took a walk to the store with Lexi," Liv replied as she put out a fruit platter on to the long breakfast bar. The house was beautiful inside and out and huge— the biggest house Kaci had ever been inside. "Help yourselves to some fruit and theres lots of super cold drinks in the fridge," she informed them both.
"Thanks Olivia," Tara smiled, "honey, you said you were hungry, why don't you have something…"
Kaci picked up a big slice of watermelon and thanked Olivia. "Would you like some water or some soda?" Liv offered.
"Mmm maybe some cold water, thanks."
Olivia poured her a glass of water with ice and offered everyone else something.
"Well, honey, why don't you finish up with your fruit and water and then maybe you and I can go for a little walk and check out the beach?"
"Okay," Kaci smiled. She was excited to step foot in the water, a little frightened but excited.
/
"This is so nice…" Kaci couldn't help but to grin as she and her Mom walked along the shoreline, the cool water lapping against their bare feet. "Mom," she took her phone from her little bag and handed it to her Tara. "Could you take a photo of me? I wanna do a hand stand in the sand!"
Tara chuckled, "Yeah, of course, babe." She moved further back up the beach so she could get a whole shot. Kaci made it look so easy; she extended her arms over her head and projected her body forward, her legs balancing directly in the air as she held it, making it look like easy work. She let her left leg fall forward, and her right back as she moved in to a perfect split.
Tara was always in awe of how much balance she had and how much upper body strength she had. The more involved she became in to her gymnastics classes, the faster her mother noticed her body changing to incredibly sculpted arm and leg muscles.
She gracefully stood back up and dusted off her hands. "Did you get it?," she asked Tara.
Tara held out the phone and together they looked through the dozens of photos. "Aww it looks so amazing with the beach behind me… Thanks Mom, we'll have to get someone to take pics of us on the beach while we're here so we can document our first holiday together."
Tara smiled, overcome with love for her little girl. She wrapped her arms around her and kissed her temple. "I love you, I'm really happy to be here with you — for our lives to be this wonderful now."
"Me too, Mom," Kaci replied. She linked her arm through Tara's as they continued their walk.
"Do you want to swim, babe?"
"Mmm I'm a bit scared, maybe when we go down to the beach with other people," she admitted, "is that silly?"
"No, I think it's good to have a healthy fear of the ocean, it can be rough and if you go out too far, it can become dangerous. You're not a very good swimmer…"
"Oh, Georgie used to be a swim instructor, she said she can teach me a little in the pool," she told her Mom excitedly.
"Oh, that's lovely, Trevor's family are so nice aren't they?"
"Everyone is," Kaci replied, "like, even Trevor — he used to make me feel a little uncomfortable sometimes - not in a bad way, just like…" she shrugged, "I don't know, its always uncomfortable if you don't know an adult guy who isn't in your family — but Mom, when you were in your coma, he sat with me overnight and he was so nice and kind to me and when I couldn't stop crying, he gave me a big hug and made me feel safe."
"I didn't know that…" Tara's voice trailed off, "gosh, it really makes me sad that you went through that and I couldn't be there to comfort you, but I'm glad Trevor and Olivia were there. They are such good people."
"It makes me sad that you went through what you did…" Kaci nudged her Mom slightly with a smile. "But I'm just glad you're okay now because I was so scared… and I was trying hard to be brave but Trevor told me it was okay to cry and it was okay to not be brave…"
"He was right. I think we always got so scared of showing our emotions because we didn't want to make Dad angry."
"I know," Kaci agreed, "and now that he's gone, I cry all the time," she laughed.
"I'd rather that than you keep it in, sweetie. I love that I can spend as much time as I want with my most favourite person in the world without anyone getting jealous or mad or telling me it's weird," Tara admitted.
"Noah told me that's what Olivia's ex boyfriend used to do to him and Liv, he used to make Noah feel like he wasn't allowed to hug his Mom and he used to tell Olivia she was gonna turn him soft and that her relationship with Noah was inappropriate because they used to lay in bed and watch movies when he was like… 10."
"What an ass," Tara blurted out with annoyance. "He really is an ass, poor Liv and Noah, neither of them deserved that."
"Neither did we, Mom," Kaci blurted out. "I know sometimes you blame yourself, but I don't blame you and I know none of what Dad did was your fault… you were just trapped and despite that, you were still always the best Mom ever, now you're the best Mom ever who I can hang out with outside of the apartment, who can take holidays with me and let me do gym and I have a boyfriend and you have lots of new friends."
Tara smiled, ignoring the stinging of tears. "Thanks for saying that, my love," she told her daughter, "sometimes it helps me to hear it and you're so grown up for being able to recognise that."
Kaci dropped her hand and wrapped her arms around her Mom's waist and leaned against her. Tara rested her arm around her daughter's shoulders as they made their way back to the house.
"Are you looking forward to spending some time with Noah?," she asked Kaci curiously.
"Yeah, is that okay?"
"Yes, but same rules as home - no closed doors, I'd prefer you guys don't go in to any bedrooms, public spaces — and Kaci, please know it's not because I don't trust you, I just worry about how quickly things change when you start kissing a boy and feeling good."
"I know, but I don't think either of us are gonna lay around kissing," she replied.
Tara smiled, "Kace, come on, I've seen you both kissing a little too eagerly for my liking too many times for my liking."
She watched her daughter's face redden. "That's…. So embarrassing."
Tara chuckled, "its okay, you're a teenage girl and it's nice and healthy to kiss the boy you like, I know you wouldn't believe this, but I was kissing a lot of boys at your age, well," she paused, "maybe a little bit older… I was wild."
Kaci laughed, "Really?!"
"Yeah, but I got serious about school around the end of 9th grade and I started acting right and forgot about boys." She saw Kaci smiling. "So, when I tell you that I trust you and I trust your intentions, it's true — but I also know that intentions can change when things start to feel a little too good."
"Noah and I talked about it," she admitted to her Mom, "like — sex," she blurted the words out bravely and Tara had to admit to herself that her breath caught for a second, "we wanted to talk about what our expectations are so we know each other's boundaries…."
"Gosh," Tara breathed, "you guys are too mature for your own good… how did that go?"
"Awkward but it was okay, we both decided that it's not something we're thinking about right now, but maybe if we are still together in a few years …" she shrugged, "maybe then."
"Oh honey," Tara laughed, "if you both are still together even in a year, I imagine you'll have different views on the matter…"
"I don't think so, I want us both to focus on school and our sports and just be close…"
Tara chuckled at her daughter's idealistic view on the matter. "Uhuh, we'll see…"
"But we both said that we'd probably talk to our parents first if we're thinking about doing it because Trevor made him promise that he'd approach him before he makes any big decisions…"
"Well, that's nice and you think you'd truly be honest with me if you were thinking about sleeping with Noah? Or any other boy for that matter?"
"Yeah… I don't think you'd try to talk me out of it and I don't think Trevor would do that to Noah either — I think you'd just want me to know my options and maybe…I don't know," she shrugged, "support me."
"Oh babe," Tara smiled at her daughter as they stopped at the shoreline right in front of the house where they spotted Olivia and Georgie on the balcony under some shade. "I promise you, if you are truly ready emotionally and physically for such a big decision, I won't talk you out of it, that's a choice you have to make for you and no one else. I'd rather know and support you and make sure you're receiving the right options, if you're going to do it, I can't stop you, I'd rather you just be informed."
"Well, it's not going to be for a long, long time yet, Mama, so don't look so worried," Kaci chuckled at the tension that had filled her Mom's face. "But I love you so much for that."
She hugged her daughter tightly. "It's just so hard to see you growing up," she chuckled in spite of herself, "but you're an amazing young woman, now Kaci and I love you so much."
"I love you too, Mom, but don't make a scene, okay?" She joked.
Tara laughed and released her daughter as they waved to Olivia and Trevor's Mom and headed inside after their mid afternoon beach walk.
/
"I just had a conversation with my daughter that was not for the faint hearted," Tara admitted to Liv and Georgie quietly as they watched Kaci in the pool relaxing back on the same pool float that Noah used at his grandparents, that he had asked them to bring with them. The bottom was netted so one could relax while still sitting in the water. Olivia had loaned Kaci her sunglasses so she could lay back and close her eyes.
"Oh, what was it?" they asked.
"Sex," she whispered, she turned to Liv, "I hope you know they've already discussed sex at length and I don't know why but it felt like a slap to the face but… its actually a good thing, right?"
Olivia felt her stomach clench, "Ugh, yeah, I know it's a good thing that they'r actually discussing it but I know what you mean, my stomach just swirled and not in the good way. What was said? What kind of thing are they discussing."
"Just like… what both of their expectations are, what they both think a good age is and I guess if they both decide that it's time, who they might talk to first."
Olivia let a breath out and Georgie couldn't help but to smirk. "Ladies," she leaned over so that they could hear her without Kaci, "as a two time Mom, I'm here to tell you both that you've both done an amazing job at raising two confident kids who are even able to maturely discuss it before feelings take hold, who both will come to you before they make any irrational decisions…"
It was the perspective that both mothers needed. "If it helps, Kaci says she won't be ready for a few years."
They all laughed. "Ohhhh I don't wanna believe these babies are growing up enough to discuss this but I'm also really proud of them both," Tara sighed. "Kaci asked me if I'd try to talk her out of it and I will try my best not to, but I'd just want to lie and say that I was a virgin til I was 30…."
They laughed.
"I told Noah recently about the first guy I slept with, I told him how old I was and the situation around it… and I think it helped because he realised that I'm decades older than I was when I slept with my first boyfriend and I still have deep regret over it."
"Oh, that's awful, Olivia, I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Tara pitched in, "was he just a typical ass?"
"Mmmm… I think as I tell you guys things, I start to realise I have the worst choice of men in my life who I've had as boyfriends," she laughed. "I was 15," she admitted, "he was old enough to realise that 15 is still a little girl. He was a student of my mothers and she wasn't, shall we say, at the peak of her best mothering," Olivia explained, "and he essentially groomed me until I slept with him and told me we were going to get married and that he was going to get me out of this violent, drunken home situation I was in and I believed every word… but my Mom, for all of her flaws, recognised what was going on and threatened him and he left." She paused and stared at the horrified looks on both of their faces, "I guess that's what started off my abandonment issues," she chuckled.
"Liv that's so…"
"No," she held up her hand firmly, "its alright, I've actually healed from it, I told Noah the same."
"But still-" Tara looked up a little guiltily. Olivia felt bad too as soon as she realised Kaci was standing right behind her looking for a towel, having heard the whole lot.
"Liv, that's so upsetting, that makes me want to cry," Kaci blurted out. Olivia found the young girl behind her and saw her hair slicked back with water with a clear film of water covering her eyes.
"Heeeey, you, I'm sorry you heard that." She couldn't get over the wealth of compassion inside these kids. "Come here, it's okay, I'm okay." She hugged her, ignoring how her body dripped with water.
"Awww," Tara murmured, "Kace, it's alright."
"It's just not fair, first this jerk and then Elliot…" Kaci muttered begrudgingly. "Between these guys and my Dad and poor Adam's Dad who's in jail… why are men all like this?"
"But they're not all like that, sweetheart," Georgie pitched in, "sometimes it takes a lot of frogs to meet a prince charming."
"Grandma's right," Liv smiled at her, pulling away and pushing her wet hair from her face. "Mom will meet someone wonderful one day when she's least expecting it and we will all make sure of it and I met Trevor… and you…" she smiled, "you have Noah and I know that my son would rather go his whole life without ever kissing you again if it meant he could save you from hurt."
"I know," Kaci replied. "But still, it makes me sad…"
"That's because you are a beautiful soul," Georgie smiled at Kaci.
"Hey, Grandma told me she is gonna teach you to do some swimming, that'll be fun, you'll be able to swim with Mom and everyone in the beach."
Kaci nodded with a smile. She looked at everyone and chuckled, "I like how now you're my adopted Grandma," she spoke to Georgie, blushing.
"Patty and I are everyone's adopted grandparents, we're good with that. The more the merrier, especially when you're all as gorgeous as each other."
Tara smiled, "see, you might have lost a set of grandparents," she told her, referring to her ex husband's parents, "but that's no huge loss, but you've actually gained a set of better grandparents," she winked at her child.
Kaci laughed. "And now I have the best of both worlds…"
"It takes a village if you can find one," Georgie told them, "we always believed in having a good group of friends and family and we all looked out for each other's kids when Trev and Ray were little. And they're all lovely, well-adjusted, successful adults now. We all just have to look out for one another and be as kind as graceful as we can be."
"It's really getting like that," Tara said with a smile, "I do love that Kace has other people she can lean on besides me and that we have a lot of love around us."
"It means that you can lean on us too, Tara," Georgie told her meaningfully.
Tara smiled and thanked her as Kaci let go of Liv and came to her Mom. "You gonna come swimming with me?, you did promise?"
"I will babe but maybe a little later if that's okay. I'm sure Noah will swim with you when he gets back," she told her. "I'm just gonna wait for Amanda to arrive so I can say a proper hello."
"Okay," Kaci sighed.
"Sweetie, why don't you come with me to the pool and I'll help you a little with your swimming. You can show me how you swim and I can show you a few things that will make you an even stronger swimmer."
"Oh, Georgie, you don't have to do that," Tara said quickly.
"No, its fine," she smiled, "I don't mind. That's what Grandma's are for," she winked at Kaci. "Give me a moment and I'll go get my bathing suit on."
"Okay," Kaci replied, "I'll get back in the pool."
/
"This has been such a great day," Trevor told Noah as they kicked the ball back and forth to one another on the beach. "Are you having a good time?"
"Yeah, it's so good here! I'm loving having the beach in the backyard… that's so cool," he smiled. "And, I'm excited to see Adam too."
Trevor kicked the ball one more time toward Noah and began walking toward him. "It'll be nice to share time with all of our friends and family," he agreed. "So, I was thinking of making a little fire pit and getting a bonfire going—- what do you think? Wanna help me?"
"For after dinner or…?"
"Well, we can just set up the pit and light it a bit later. We got all the stuff to make s'mores and Amanda and the girls and the little ones will love it because we can feed them lots of sugar," he winked with a laugh.
Noah laughed too. "Yeah, it'll be nice, let's do that…"
/
"Honey, I'm so sorry, I can't lift you up at the moment, the baby is in the way and my body isn't very strong," Liv apologised to Billie when she held her arms up. Instead she leaned over and cuddled her. "But you can come and snuggle me a bit later…"
"Okay," Billie agreed as she reluctantly let go and moved on to shyly say hello to Georgie and Tara. Amanda looked at Liv and rolled her eyes, sometimes Billie's clinginess bothered her.
"Hey Jessie," Liv greeted her, giving her a hug, "you're getting so freaking tall, would you stop growing!"
Jessie laughed and hugged Liv and gave her belly a rub. "Are you gonna have your baby soon?"
"Not soon enough," she replied. Jessie nearly jumped a mile when she felt a kick. Olivia laughed. "Aww, did you feel him?"
Jessie nodded with a big smile. She turned to her Mom, "Mom remember when Levi was in your belly and he kicked you all the time until you almost peed your pants?"
"Yes Jessie… thanks for that," Amanda laughed. "How could I forget. You did that too."
"Actually," Liv told Jessie, "you put Mom in hospital and scared us all…"
"Really?" Jessie's head snapped back and forth between her Mom and Liv, "is that true?"
"Yeahhhh, Dad nearly melted down over it and Liv didn't let me come back to work until you were born and I was so mad at her for that."
Jessie giggled.
"Anyway, guys don't forget to go say hello to Kaci, you remember Kaci right? She's out by the pool waiting to make some new friends, it looks like."
"She certainly is," Tara agreed, "she got upset because Noah wanted to kick the ball for awhile before swimming."
"Ugh," Jessie rolled her eyes, "boys are so annoying."
"They are aren't they?" Tara winked.
"Uhuh," she agreed, "I'll go say hi to Kaci, maybe she and I can go swimming."
"Don't leave your sister out, Jessie, come on, we talked about this…"
Billie followed behind her older sister despite Jessie's annoyance.
"They are at this annoying age where Jessie doesn't want to be associated with Billie and all Billie wants to do is be like her big sister."
"Aww poor Billie…" Tara dropped her bottom lip. "I'm sure if Hannah is able to get here with Alice and Adam she will have someone to play with."
"Yeah, hoping so, but honestly Billie would probably be happy with the adults." She took a seat and set Levi down so that he could run around on the enclosed pool deck.
Trevor and Noah arrived back, walking up the steps from the beach to the deck above, greeting everyone. "We made a fire pit for later," Noah announced with a big smile. Trevor put an arm around Noah and pulled him close, kissing the top of his head, "and we kicked the ball around for awhile…"
"You guys haven't stopped all day," Georgie remarked passing them so she could go back to the pool with the girls to watch them and to help them with their swimming.
"Grandma's right," Trevor replied, "I think I need a beer and a rest…" Trevor let go of Noah and wiped his sweaty forehead with his upper arm. "I might need to jump in the pool for a minute to cool off," he announced, "are you ladies all good for a drink?"
"We're fine and capable of getting our own drinks," Amanda told him with a smile, "you cool off and rest."
"Well if you're going to swim, I'm coming," Noah told him.
"K Sunshine, make sure you have a towel, make sure you're not grabbing a new one every five seconds."
"Okay," he agreed.
Trevor jumped in to the pool first and the girls shrieked with the splashing. Trevor advised the younger girls — Billie and Jessie to go and get their bathers on and he and Georgie would hang out for awhile. He knew that Amanda had a rule about the girls swimming alone and it was entirely fair, he wouldn't ever let his daughter swim without supervision unless he was fully confident — and even then, accidents happened.
/
Amanda passed Levi over to Tara who was chatting away to her baby boy while she went inside to help the girls in to their bathing suits and went to get changed herself. Lexi was up and Patrick asked for her help wrangling the tiny terror in to her own bathing suit so that he could take her out to her father and Grandma.
Lexi was developing her own little personality and had decided that being naked was her favourite kind of freedom, often wriggling out of grasp of both of her parents and brother when it was dressing time. It was nothing for anyone to see her streaking through the house in her birthday suit followed by a sigh of frustration and another set of older footsteps chasing her down as she shrieked and giggled away to herself for as long as possible.
Amanda intercepted Lexi as she made a run for it. "I got you!," she announced as Lexi broke up in to fits of giggles.
"Oh my gosh, she's so cute," Jessie remarked with a laugh as Amanda took her adorable striped all-in-one bathing suit with a pink frill around the waist.
"Its okay, Patty, I've got her, I'll organise the three of them, you relax."
"Thanks Amanda," he smiled as he went to grab some drinks to take outside for everyone. He paused briefly, "beer or wine for you this afternoon, Amanda?"
"Oh, let's start off with a wine," she smiled, "thank you!"
/
"What's wrong?" Noah asked Kaci as he sat down beside her on the deck chair. Trevor and his Mom were sitting on the jacuzzi side of the pool, far away enough for them not to hear their conversation.
"Nothing," Kaci replied, pulling her sunglasses down over her face as she laid back in the deck chair, draping a towel over her, feeling a little self-conscious in her bathing suit next to Noah.
"Are you sure? You seem upset with me…"
"I'm not upset, go hang with your Dad, that's why you came to the pool — to hang with him, so go do it."
"I want to hang with you too…" he told her slowly, realising that she was upset because he had blown her off to kick the ball with his father and only since he found out Trevor was going to swim, he wanted to swim too.
"No you don't, you want to hang with your Dad which is fine, so go do it. I'm not the boss of you."
"Kace…" he sighed. "Don't do this to me, I feel bad—"
"I'm not doing anything. I'm just waiting for Jessie and Billie and then we'll swim with your grandma. Don't worry about me, I can relax without you being attached to my hip."
He reached over and gently pushed her sunglasses up over her head so he could see her eyes. She looked irritated. "Kaci," he began quietly, "I never get to hang out with my Dad like this, I just wanted to spend some time with him before everyone gets here and then I'll have to share him with my cousins and… Billie and Jessie and Levi or Adam will arrive and it won't be one-on-one time, please don't be mad."
She relented, he saw her finally relax. "Its okay," she said a little more sincerely. "I understand. I just didn't see you for like five days so I miss you… but we can catch up a bit later, go hang out with your Dad, Noah, I mean it, its okay. Your grandma is gonna help me with my swimming anyway."
"Really?," he asked, "I don't want to upset you."
Kaci sat up and swung her legs around the edge of the deck chair and gave him a smile. "Yeah, really… maybe after dinner we can go for a walk, just you and I…"
He smiled, "that would be really nice…"
"K…" she replied, "go spend time with your Dad then."
/
"They're getting pretty cute," Amanda remarked, glancing over the balcony to look down on Noah and Kaci swimming around in the pool. She was wrapped around his back, arms locked around his shoulders as he swam with her from one end to another while they skylarked around.
"They're pretty adorable," Tara replied, joining her. She held her beer out to Amanda, "cheers Amanda, to work friends and friends outside of work now."
Amanda smiled at her new workmate who she just loved already for her sweetness and kindness. "Cheers Tara, to new friends…" Amanda put an arm around her. "I love that we've introduced you in to the fold and everyone is so happy to have you in the office, it makes everything run so smoothly, so in case you didn't realise, I want you to know you're doing an incredible job!"
"Really?" Tara grinned, "I have the worst imposter syndrome."
"You don't need to worry about that, you deserve your place there and you are so thoughtful as well. The other day when you were able to talk that young girl out of walking out when only Sonny was available to take her disclosure, we were all so happy. You have a good instinct and I know why that is, but sometimes after living something horrific, it's hard to not go back to that place when you're faced with someone else's victimhood, so, we were really proud."
Tara smiled weakly. "I just did what I wish someone would have done for me…" her voice trailed as she took a big sip of her beer. "When I was pregnant with Kaci, I actually did go to the police… but I ran out because I was so scared of men."
"I'm so sorry, Tara, I wish you'd been able to see someone like Liv or I, we would have seen it through with you."
Tara smiled, "I try not to live with regrets because I thought life would be harder to get used to being … you know, free? But… with everyone's help and with everyone looking out for me and my baby girl, I feel like I'm adjustment period is going a lot better than it would have without you guys."
Amanda put an around her and gave her a squeeze. She smiled. "I'm so glad to hear that."
"Thanks Amanda."
She smiled down on her daughter. "I just worry the most about Kaci. She can be really emotionless about the whole thing, she just shrugs it away and keeps telling me she feels nothing about it all but I know that's not true."
Amanda smiled as she looked down on the 14 year old flirting with her boyfriend. She turned to Tara. "She reminds me a little of me at her age," she admitted, "I grew up in a house full of domestic violence," she told Tara, "and I just didn't really ever allow myself to feel anything about it, I made myself numb so I didn't have to feel guilt for never trying to stop my father…" she told her, "but I didn't have the same love from my Mom that you have for Kaci, so… I need a lifetime of therapy to sort that shit out… Kaci is gonna be ok, Tara, I promise. Just keep her in therapy, eventually she'll break and it'll be hard, but she will be better for it."
"Thanks Amanda,"
/
"Your Mom and Aunt Amanda are watching us…" Noah whispered to Kaci with a little smile.
She grinned at him, "I know…" she ducked beneath the water and pushed off the wall and swam away from him, kicking water in his face.
Noah laughed and dove beneath the surface and went after her. She resurfaced and pushed her wet hair from her face and made her way to the jacuzzi with Noah following. When he glanced up again Tara and Amanda were gone.
"They're gone," he told her as they settled in to the warm bubbles of the jacuzzi.
"Finally," Kaci smiled, getting closer.
Noah took her hand and pulled her on to his lap. He couldn't wait to kiss her. He slipped his arms around her waist and smiled at her, enjoying the feel of her sitting across him, her legs outstretched to the side. He reached up and held her cheeks in his hands and pressed his lips against hers.
She leaned in to his kiss and felt his tongue filling her mouth. She kissed him back eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Noah realised very quickly that Kaci on his lap was probably a very bad idea. He tried to hold himself back, but he found his body wanting to move fast than his brain could catch up. He pulled away instantly, his feelings scaring himself.
"Sorry," he apologised, "I think… I think we're too close, our parents would lose their minds if they saw us like this."
"Okay, sorry," she apologised, sliding off his lap, sitting beside him.
"Its okay," he replied, reaching for her hand. "I just don't want them to get stricter on us," he told her, "and… I really like you a little too much for you to be sitting on my lap if I'm honest, Kaci."
She wasn't sure what he was getting at but understood he was referring to self control. She shrugged, "its okay." She paused, "I talked to Mom today about you and I and when we talked about waiting."
"Uhuh? What'd she say?"
"She said she trusted me and she trusted you and she hoped I felt safe enough to talk to her about it if our minds change," she explained.
Noah smiled at her. "I don't want to rush anything, I haven't changed the way I feel about that, but… I have a lot of feelings for you and I remember Uncle Sonny told me once that things can escalate in the moment and I had no idea what he was talking about… but I think I'm starting to realise," he admitted, "I just love you so much and when we kiss sometimes my brain feels like its exploding."
Kaci blushed and gave a little laugh. "I think I get it."
They sat in awkward silence for a moment before Noah looked at her and laughed. "Anyway, it's nice to talk to you and to sit with you and see you after what felt like days…"
"I know," she replied, "I was so happy to see you and I was such a sour baby when you didn't wanna come and swim with me earlier."
Noah laughed, "I just really wanted to hang out with Dad. We had some things I wanted to talk about with Elliot and about Mom and stuff… and honestly, I just wanted to spend time with him."
"I know, its okay, I'm not mad. When you explained that to me I felt like an ass for being a brat. I want you to hang out with him too. I love Trevor, he has a way of making everyone feel so good about themselves. You should have heard him at gymnastics last week, I ate the mat so hard during a vault thing we were working on which was so simple and I hurt my wrist a little because of the way I tried to break my fall and he was so calm and made me feel so much better. The coach was nice but Trevor was better at making me feel confident enough to try again."
Noah smiled. "I love that you get to have some kind of like … Dad-figure time too. You deserve to have a good Dad-type in your life. I'm happy to share him with you."
"Thanks Noah," Kaci smiled. "Mom asked me if maybe you were a bit jealous about it and I hoped you weren't."
"Nah, never. I know Dad has all the time in the world for me and if I asked he would do whatever he could to hang out with me, so I don't need to be insecure about it… and it's you. You and your Mom are still getting things back to normal. I remember how hard it was for Mom to try to juggle things with me when it was just she and I."
"Yeah, it can be tough. Mom is always second guessing everything but your Mom and Hannah and Amanda too, they've all been so good and it's nice for Mom to have money too. She's so good at handling it, I'm really proud of her."
Noah smiled. "I'm glad."
/
"Ugh… I really am in so much pain," Olivia complained to Trevor. She wanted to swim but there was a part of her that knew she was all but spilling out of her bikini and everything felt like such an effort. "Well, pain is the wrong word," she corrected herself, "just this heaviness, he's really dropped recently and I feel like my belly is sagging down to my knees," she laughed in spite of herself.
"I'm sorry," Trevor apologised, coming up behind her and kissing her neck. "What can I do to help?" He slid his arms around her, finding the underside of her swollen belly. He lifted the heaviness of her bump, shocked by how heavy it actually was. "Wow…" he murmured, "your back must be so painful."
"Oh my gosh," Olivia gasped, "that feels so good," she let her eyes close, feeling the pressure momentarily relieved as he held the weight of their baby in his hands.
"Really? That makes it feel better?"
"Uhuh," she concentrated, leaning her body hard in to him, "fuck…" she cursed, "fuck that's how good I'm gonna feel after I give birth, all that weight will be gone…"
"Baby, why don't you put your bathers on and go and sit in the water, it'll give you the same weightless feeling. Later on, I can help with this…"
"Ughhhh," she sighed, "its such an effort to get changed."
Trevor laughed and slowly released the baby. He kissed her cheek. "I'll help, come on…"
/
"Come here sweetie," Trevor smiled at his daughter, taking her hand and guiding her closely toward him, keeping her away from the fire pit that was burning brightly. "Let Daddy help you make a special snack just like your brother and Kaci."
Lexi backed up and sat down in her fathers lap. Trevor took two honey grahams from Noah to his left, breaking them in to small squares. He put a halved piece of chocolate in the middle and took the stick and broke a marshmallow in half and stabbed what was remaining on the stick. He rested the square with the chocolate down beside him on the blanket. "Here, you hold the stick with Daddy," he told Lexi. She took it with great concentration and let Trevor help her toast the marshmallow for a moment.
"We eat?" She asked him excitedly, wriggling around excitedly.
"Yes baby, we're going to eat it, just a second, you have to be patient because it's going to be very hot. He took the grahams and using both crackers, he slid the marshmallow between and set the stick aside. He clocked Olivia grinning at him. He winked back at her from where she and Tara were making their own.
"Here we go, blow on it to cool it down," he held it out for her. She blew on it, causing him to make a face, feeling her spit on his hand.
"Look how excited she is…" Kaci remarked with a laugh.
"She is never going to sleep tonight," Olivia remarked, "not with all that sugar."
"Daddy, me hold it," she told him, twisting to look up at him, her blue eyes wide with excitement.
"Baby, it's still a bit hot, I don't want it to burn you, Daddy hold it for a minute, okay?"
Lexi licked her lips and glanced at her brother and Kaci, "Bah bah!," she held her hands out for his as he was about to take a bite. "Me!"
Noah sighed and laughed. "Smoosh, you gotta wait for your own to cool down, be patient, okay?"
Lexi's lower lip dropped and they thought they were about to witness tears. "Okay," Noah pulled the s'more away from his mouth before he took a bite. "We will wait for yours to be ready."
Lexi folded her hands in her lap and sighed, glancing around at her Mom and Tara before she glanced back at Trevor, waiting impatiently. As soon as she looked away, Trevor took a little bite to test the heat. "Okay," he relented finally, "you can eat it now," he handed it to her. "Enjoy it, baby, it's just a special treat for tonight only."
Lexi nodded as if she understood. Noah and Kaci smirked and both began to eat their own bigger versions of it. Trevor used the rest of the graham crackers to make one for himself.
"Finally!" Amanda announced from beside them, sitting down beside Tara, "Levi can be such a little brat at bed time…" she informed them. She saw Lexi eating the smore and laughed. "Oh man, I know someone else who isn't going to want to sleep tonight."
"That's what I said," Amanda laughed but Olivia shrugged, "Oh well, she's all yours tonight baby," she joked, winking at Trevor. "You can be responsible for getting her to sleep."
Trevor didn't care, he loved the joy on her face as she got to eat the same treats as the big kids. "Is that good, sweetheart?," he wondered.
Lexi nodded and smiled at him and nodded, chewing slow. He couldn't resist her sweet little face and how happy she was. She held out her smore to him to share it. "Aww, thank you for sharing," he kissed her forehead and leaned down and took a tiny bite of the corner. "You have the rest, that's your special treat."
"Say thanks Daddy!" Olivia prompted her.
Lexi attempted to repeat her. Trevor smiled, "you're welcome."
/
"And you guys said she wouldn't sleep," Trevor boasted his daughter who he was holding in his arms. She had fallen asleep after a little while of playing. It was way after her bedtime anyway.
"You got lucky this time around," Olivia replied. "Ummm…" Kaci started, seeming nervous to ask, "Could Noah and I go for a little walk?"
"To where, Kace, it's after 9 o'clock?"
"Just down along the sand… not very far," Noah pitched in.
"Well…" Olivia thought for a moment, "it's up to Tara, but you guys are definitely not leaving our line of vision if she says its okay."
Tara stared at Kaci for a moment and decided to trust her. "Okay," she agreed slowly, "but Liv is right, we need to be able to see you guys, I don't want to have to look for you."
Noah was on his feet and reached for Kaci's hand and helped her up.
"Don't be long," Olivia told them both.
/
"Are you coming to bed soon, sweetheart?" Trevor asked Olivia. She was still sitting out with Amanda who was having a cigarette, keeping her distance from her pregnant friend. She was a social smoker - or a stressed out one. Trevor was happy for them to have time together, he was just worried about how tired Liv had been.
"I'm gonna stay up a bit longer, baby," she told him with a smile. "I can't sleep anyway with this little guy kicking me and feeling so heavy that I can't get comfortable…" she told him, rubbing her huge belly.
"Okay, well I'm just going to watch TV for a little while with Noah, you have your phone, text me if you guys want something," he smiled and kissed her lips softly and then made his way to Amanda and kissed her cheek. She smiled at Trevor's sweetness.
"Okay, thank you."
"Love you," he called over his shoulder.
Once he was out of earshot Olivia turned to Amanda, "honestly he is just always so fucking sexy, what the hell did I do to deserve a guy so hot…"
Amanda almost burst out laughing at Olivia's bluntness. "He is sweet, Liv, I will give him that…. And he's so good with the kids, he really must be one great teacher."
"Look, to be fair, I've never taught him, but none of the kids are ever awkward around him and he really just does love being a big kid with them and gives them all this wise advice without them realise they're being educated," she smiled. "I'm really proud to be with him, he's an incredible person."
Amanda took the last drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the empty beer bottle she had finished with and filled with an inch or so of water. Her smile lingered as she saw just how content her friend was. Liv was fuller in the face since being so close to the business end of her pregnancy, her stomach was bulging and she couldn't have glowed any brighter than she was.
"Happiness looks wonderful on you, Liv…" Amanda told her meaningfully.
"Thanks Amanda," she murmured. "It feels good… despite my run-ins with Elliot recently, everything just feels good and I can't tell you how nice it is to be on this holiday with everyone. Noah and I haven't had a holiday in years and Trevor's Mom and Dad were just so insistent that they do this for us and for Raia and Gavin and the girls and wanted to get this beautiful house so big that we could all invite whoever."
Olivia wasn't aware yet, but it was partially her birthday gift. Trevor had arranged that for Olivia's birthday, all of her friends who could be there would be there. He was putting on a cook out and he and Noah had a lot of surprises in store for her.
"That's really kind of them, I love his family… Everyone is just really so welcoming."
She agreed. Olivia loved being so close to the ocean. Even though it was late and the breeze was growing a little cool, she didn't mind. She loved the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore. It was pure bliss to her. "Are you worried about Noah and Kaci being under the same roof?"
"Nah, Tara is sharing a room with her and also, Noah knows better," she smiled.
"Yeah, they really thought they could get away with going for a romantic walk along the beach," Amanda chuckled, "that was cute."
"Aw, I just remember what it was like to be fourteen and have my first boyfriend and feeling so grown up for it," Olivia replied. "I will give Noah leverage but the first time he misplaces my trust is the last time I trust him and he knows it, so I think he'll do the right thing."
"I think he will too, he's a very good kid, Liv, you and Trevor are both doing such a wonderful job."
"Thanks, Amanda… I also noticed today little Miss Jessie is being a lot more outgoing and bubbly."
Amanda laughed, "therapy will do that… I think she is overall not an overly excitable person and she has this weird thing where she embarrasses so easily, even second hand embarrassment so it's something she's working on because she's just too self aware. She's trying to throw some of that awareness away to concentrate on having some fun, she's far too serious for 11."
"Yeah, but she's a very insightful kid. She might not talk a lot, but she doesn't mince her words when she does," Liv smiled. "She is going to be a force when she is older. Maybe she takes more after her Mama than you think."
"Nah," Amanda laughed, "I was far more silly and ditzy at her age." She thought for a second before shrugging, "I guess I'm just hoping that we can really get Billie out of this clingy phase. We discovered that she is holding on to a little bit of PTSD from the time that I got taken hostage by the Brooklyn cop. I thought we kept them well protected from that, but apparently she listened more to adults talking about it in panicked voices than we realised so she is always a little on edge when I leave her…"
"That's awful Amanda, but its so good that you guys uncovered that, maybe it'll be helpful to know so that you and Sonny can be assuring and she can be given ways to cope with it."
"Yeah, it's getting a bit better. She was happy to play with Billie and Kaci earlier and she's so excited to play with Alice tomorrow afternoon."
"I think Trevor said that he was gonna take all the kids for a walk tomorrow to get some ice cream and have a look around on the marina."
"Oh, Sonny can probably go with him and be an extra set of hands with the kids. Hey, you never told me much — but are you okay with him taking that other job?"
Olivia grinned, "Are you kidding? I get to go and visit him at school teaching a class full of first graders? I'm sure that's going to be too hot for me to handle."
Amanda laughed, "You know, despite how tall Trevor is, I can really see him being the sweetest teacher to those little first grade babies."
"Me too. His first job was with first graders and he's excited about it. It's the first time I've seen him excited about anything work-related aside from the football team for a long time," she admitted.
"Good…"
/
"How'd you go with Kaci on your walk?," Trevor asked Noah.
"It was okay, she was paranoid about you guys all watching us that she wouldn't let me hold her hand," Noah admitted, "it was a bit annoying, but I understand."
Trevor smiled at him, "We weren't even paying attention to you guys. We didn't tell you to stay in our line of vision because we don't trust you, its just that it's late and we want to keep you both safe."
"I know…" Noah shrugged. "We had some nice time today…"
"Good, I'm glad." Trevor replied.
Noah sat up and took a big gulp of water from his drink bottle. "Dad… can I ask something?"
"You just did," Trevor smiled as Noah leaned over Ruby who had made herself at home on the couch. He gave her a little cuddle and kiss on her head.
"When Kaci and I got in the jacuzzi after our swim, she sat in my lap and it made me feel funny and we were kissing and it was … too much."
"Ah," Trevor hid a smile. "Okay, what did you do?"
"I told her that she couldn't sit on my lap like that, that it made my feelings too strong," he told him quietly as if he was scared someone could hear. "Is that what you meant, when you said things might happen fast?"
"Yes," Trevor told him simply, "and unfortunately, Noah, sometimes that feeling overrides our logic so we have to be careful not to let it dominate so you did the right thing. You made a clear boundary. Did she accept it?"
Noah nodded. "Yeah, she said she didn't mean to and it was fine but…I think it clicked what both you and Uncle Sonny have said in the past about saying I'm not ready for something, but in the moment, having a completely different idea on the matter."
"Yeah," Trevor agreed, "that's exactly what we meant. And Noah, those feelings aren't wrong, but I feel you're maybe too young to start leaning in to that. It's more than physical; you know that. Sex complicates relationships at your age."
"I know, I still don't want to have sex at 14."
"That's a relief," Trevor smiled.
"How old were you when you first slept with a girl?"
Trevor thought for a moment, "I was 19."
"You were not," Noah laughed, "as if you waited til you were 19."
"I did! Actually, I may have been 20," he thought about it, "maybe I was 20, I don't remember. I didn't have sex til college."
"Really?"
"Yes," he laughed, "why is that so hard to believe?"
"Because at school everyone is always gossiping about who's doing it…"
"Yeah but half of the people who are boasting are lying, Noah. Its okay to take your time. I took my time because I was focused so hard on football at school and then I got in to premed at university so I had very little time to hang out with girls. Also my first girlfriend went to Le Moyne college which is a Catholic college and she was quite religious."
"Ohh, how old were you?" Noah wanted to know.
"I'd just turned 18," Trevor smiled, "her name was Danica Adduci and she was sooooo cute," he told Noah, "but as I said, she was very religious."
Noah smiled, trying to imagine his Dad as a teenager. "How did you meet her if you guys went to different colleges?," he wondered.
"She was actually the cheerleader of the opposing team that we were having friendly matches with," Trevor laughed, "I stole their girl," he joked.
Noah began to laugh, "wow, you did their team dirty." He thought for a second as he pet Ruby lovingly, "do you think though that even if she wasn't religious that you would have slept with her?"
"As I told you, when things happen, they happen fast and when you're young and inexperienced, your ability to take control of the situation with your brain is a lot harder than it is as a grown adult… but I had to be very respectful of Danica, she wanted to wait til marriage and I didn't ever want to be the guy that she would regret."
"Well that's how I feel. Mom told me about— wait, that might be private, sorry," Noah said quickly, realising that his Mom may not have told Trevor about her first time.
"Its okay, I know about him," he told Noah, "Mom's told me."
"I just think it's so sad that she had that situation taken from her and that asshole took advantage of her," he said.
"Noah, watch your mouth, but yes, he was an asshole," Trevor agreed.
"I told Mom that I don't want Kaci to ever feel the way she felt or to look back and regret the guy that she slept with because we got caught up in the moment."
Trevor smiled at him, "That's nice kiddo… in my experience with Danica, I just had to remove myself from certain situations so that I wouldn't be tempted, or things wouldn't be hard for me."
Trevor loved that Noah was absolutely comfortable enough to discuss things with him especially since he had figured that he'd had a situation with his young girlfriend earlier in the pool that may have made him momentarily panic about his responding body. He took a mouthful of his last beer for the night.
"Dad, can I ask? What does having sex feel like?"
Almost choking, Trevor began to cough causing Noah to laugh at his unexpected and possibly invasive question. "Sorry, was that too much?," Noah asked as Trevor tried to compose himself. "I didn't mean to choke you."
Trevor laughed, feeling heat rise in his own cheek, noticing the same for Noah. He tried to play it down. "Its okay Sunshine, I just wasn't expecting such a blunt question."
"Its okay, you don't have to answer, it was a stupid question, too personal."
"No, its okay, you're asking me a genuine question because you're curious and I'll do my best to answer you." He thought about it for a moment, "how sex feels will always depend on your sexual partner," he told him, "and for me, the deeper you care for someone the more enjoyable it can be because there's a lot of trust in a relationship," he explained, "but everyone is different, Noah, so… some people don't have to make an emotional connection to have great sex, or they don't care about that part of things, it's just a physical act and that's fine too as long as both people are as enthusiastic about it as the other…"
Noah listened intently. "I don't think I could do it with someone I don't care about," he shrugged. "I don't even like hanging out with people I don't care about," he smiled.
Trevor smiled too. "As you grow up that might change, but if it doesn't thats fine too. But as a generalisation, sex can feel very good, it can be uncomfortable sometimes, or… it can be fun and funny and if you're not listening to your partner or not picking up on their cues, it can also be disappointing and it can hurt."
"But if you love and care about the person and if they love and care about you too, both of you should be listening and speaking up," Noah pointed out.
"That's why I mentioned trust. It's a very big step in to vulnerability. You are letting someone see you in a light that no one else gets to and for some people, especially for women, that can be tough and hard maybe hard to let go of their insecurities, so sometimes we have to make a lot of effort to make someone know that their trust won't be misplaced."
"Thanks for letting me ask that, I know it's kind of personal," Noah said looking down at the dog.
"Well kiddo, if you can't ask me, who else do you think you'd be able to ask?" Trevor replied. "And honestly, I'd prefer you ask me over one of your friends because I'll give you a real answer."
/
"Is it okay to join you guys?" Olivia heard a voice behind her and turned to find Tara with a little glass of gin and soda and a light sweatshirt on.
"Sure is, come and sit," Amanda patted a spot beside her. She had gone inside to get herself and Olivia a blanket. Olivia leaned back against the balcony fence, spreading her legs out along the bench, covered up by a warm blanket.
Amanda spread hers out over Tara. "Kaci off to sleep?," she asked their new friend.
"Yeah…" Tara nodded, "I have to lay with her at night when it's time to sleep, she would never admit this to anyone, but she has terrible nightmares and gets scared to sleep alone. Once she's asleep though, she's okay."
"Oh… so that's where she hides the trauma, in her sleep."
"Yep," Tara smiled weakly, "I just have to lay beside her and rub her back or stroke her hair or something so that she feels safe. It reminds me of what I had to do to get her to sleep when she was a baby. As a Mom who wants to keep her kid a kid forever, I love that she needs me, but as a woman raising a young woman, I hate that I let that man do this to her."
"You didn't let him do anything to her," Amanda corrected her. "You had no choice in the matter and you know that."
"Yeah… it's still a hard pill to swallow sometimes though," she sipped her drink.
"You guys just have to do whatever it is that you need to do to get through this part of things, it's all still so raw," Olivia told her.
"Thanks guys… I just don't feel ready to sleep, myself… I hope I didn't interrupt anything."
"Never," Olivia replied, "girl time is good times. Trevor and Noah are inside either passed out asleep on the couch or watching football or something."
Tara laughed, "they're watching football. Trevor got himself up to get me a drink despite my protests," she told them.
"Oh my gosh, he really is just the kind of guy who doesn't let anyone want for anything," Amanda laughed. "Liv, you lucked out there."
Olivia couldn't help but to chuckle at her amazing guy. "I know… had to kiss a lot of frogs though." She paused and glanced at Tara's glass longingly. "I would kill to have a glass of wine or gin or something right now…" she sighed.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Tara dropped her lip in to a pout at her friend. "I don't have to drink around you."
"No, its okay," Olivia smiled, "you enjoy it, you deserve it."
"Are you okay if I smoke?" Amanda asked Tara since she was sitting so close. "I can move away from you if it bothers you."
"No, you're good, go right ahead."
"Thanks," Amanda smiled, pulling another cigarette from her pack and lighting it up. She placed the pack and the lighter on the table and took a drag. "Sorry, I never get to smoke anymore, but when I'm drinking, I don't mind it and if Sonny was here he'd be judging me harshly."
Tara laughed. "Gosh, I haven't had a cigarette since college. My friend and I used to hang out our dorm room smoking and then trying to rid the dorm of that smoke stench," she chuckled. "The fun days…"
Amanda jokingly held out her cigarette, "here you go…"
"Amanda!" Olivia scolded her with a smile. She didn't necessarily want either of her friends to smoke, but she didn't really have an opinion on the matter.
"What? She has been missing out on all the fun things in life…" she shrugged.
Tara grinned and looked at Amanda and down at the cigarette. "Could I?"
"Of course, but I am not here to turn you in to a smoker…"
"Nah, I don't want to waste my money on cigarettes, but for old time's sake, maybe, the fun that I got up to with my girlfriends before Clive came along and fucked my life." She took the cigarette from Amanda and stared at it between her fingers for a moment and pressed it between her lips, slowly drawing back, the initial hit of it making her dizzy for a second. She was careful not to inhale too hard to choke.
She slowly turned her head to the side over the balcony and blew the smoke away. "Wow…" she murmured, "that is strong…" she passed it back to Amanda, "thanks…"
"You looked a little too comfortable doing that," Olivia remarked with a laugh.
Tara laughed and leaned back taking another sip of her gin. "This is such a dreamy place, thanks for inviting us, Liv and thanks for all that you do for Kaci, Trevor too… she told me earlier how kind he's been to her at her gymnastics training."
"Truthfully, I think Trevor enjoys taking her, he was saying earlier how amazing she is already. He was tossing up whether or not he should get Lexi involved in toddler-tumble class."
"Oh she would love that!" Tara remarked, "Lexi loves running about and a little rough-housing. Probably because of her big brother, but I think she'd have fun."
"I think both she and Trevor would," Olivia agreed.
"Both Jessie and Billie did tumble classes and they loved it too," Amanda told them. "I think it's a great idea if you guys can fit it in."
"We'll see how things go after I have the baby. Little miss might have to just settle for tumbling around on the furniture while I try not to pull my hair out," Olivia joked.
"If at any time taking Kace to gym is too much, you guys just have to let me know, I don't want Trevor to ever feel obligated."
"Are you kidding?" Olivia smiled, "it's sport, Trevor loves sport and he adores Kaci so I think he's just as excited as she is to be involved. Every time he drops her home and gets home he shows me all the videos he takes for her, he's super proud."
Tara couldn't help but to grin. "That's so nice. She's very lucky to have a man in her life that is helping and looking out for her and thank you for that too."
"Of course…" Olivia replied as if it was nothing. "You guys are our friends, we would do anything for you guys… Amanda knows that."
The three women chatted until well after midnight until Amanda noticed Olivia nodding off. She smiled at Tara and gestured toward their friend. "Aww Liv," Tara murmured. She pulled her blanket back, "she looks uncomfortable. I'll get her off to bed. Are you staying up a bit longer?"
"Sure, why not? I don't have anywhere to be, the kids can fend for themselves," she joked.
Tara grinned at her.
