I'm aware that this update comes a lot quicker than usual, but I really wanted to write some fun fluffy Olivia Benson birthday stuff. She deserves it and I wanted to start having some deeper conversations for her that are meaningful and have her receive some of the responses she should have received already in canon. Enjoy heartemoji
Olivia woke up to soft hands caressing her cheek, "happy birthday angel," Trevor's voice crooned. She smiled before she even opened her eyes. "Wake up," he whispered, "I've got a surprise for you…"
She yawned and stretched, "Hey you…" she greeted him sleepily. She felt the blush rise in her cheeks and it had always been that way; for whatever reason, embarrassed by her own day of birth.
"Guess what?," he asked, leaning in close, laying on his chest, keeping eye contact.
"What?"
"On this day, you were born and it was no accident, it was no mistake — it was written in the stars that you exist and that you exist to do all that you do, to help all those of whom you have helped and to be a mother to Noah and a mother to Lexi and a mother to Luka and an unofficial mother to all the other young people that have needed someone and you have never let them want for it." He smiled and let his lips rest upon hers, "and you exist to be the mother of my children and the absolute love of my life and we are going to celebrate you."
Her eyes filled immediately with tears. "Thank you…"
"Don't thank me," he chuckled, wiping her cheeks. "I love you and today we are going to give you the happiest birthday yet!"
"I believe you because what you just said is the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me on my birthday," she grinned at him. He got closer and kissed her lingeringly on the lips before he sat up.
"Okay, so I've got you some breakfast…I took on board what you said about turkey bacon and eggs not really sitting well with you, so I made you banana pancakes and a little bowl of fruit salad…" he leaned over to the bedside table where he had sat a tray of food. "There's some caramel sauce and ice cream, because it's your birthday and I know you can't say no to ice cream."
Olivia chuckled and slowly eased herself up with great effort. "Do you need help, birthday girl?"
"No, I'm okay…thank you Trev, this looks amazing," she told him, gazing at the pancakes. He didn't need to tell her, he could see already that it had some blueberries through it.
"You're welcome. Would you like a coffee or tea? I can make you a decaf."
"Coffee, please…" She paused, "where's Lex?"
Trevor smiled back at her, "She got up at 5 and then I got her back to sleep just a little while ago."
Olivia looked serene wearing just a camisole and her underwear. He kissed her forehead, "I'll be right back with your coffee and a gift fit for my queen."
"Oh, I hope you didn't…"
"But I did," he winked.
/
"Dad, is Mom up yet?" Noah asked, "Do I have time to go for a quick walk to get her some flowers?"
Trevor grinned at him, "She's up, but she's still pretty sleepy. I'm gonna go take her a coffee and let her wake up properly before she gets too overwhelmed, but… why don't you get Grandpa to take you down to get flowers with Kaci and then maybe you both can have something to eat together and Grandpa can bring you back?"
"Oh, I could walk—"
"I can take you both," Patrick spoke up, "I don't mind." He was just sitting there reading the newspaper. "That way you won't have to walk back and have the sun wilt your flowers." Trevor glanced at Noah who considered.
Noah glanced at his grandfather. "Okay, Grandpa thanks. Is it okay if Kaci comes too? She's on her way back from a walk with her Mom."
"Of course, you go get ready and I'll just read my paper til you want to go."
"Thanks," Noah replied. He disappeared to go get changed while Trevor made Olivia a decaf coffee and thanked his Dad. "I'm just gonna go sit in with Liv,"
He took the coffee with him and closed the door behind him. "Here you go, one decaf for the birthday girl."
Olivia chuckled. "Thank you…" he passed it over and then went in to his own sports bag and pulled out her wrapped gift and a shiny pink, thick ribbon that made him smile. She wasn't going to like it, but it was amusing to him. "Sooooo…. I have something for you that I'd like you to wear while you eat…"
Olivia lifted her eyebrow, "Is it rude?"
Trevor laughed and set his gift for her down. "No, Olivia, it's not rude," he replied. He pulled the ribbon-sash from behind his back and showed her.
"Uh-uh, no. That's so embarrassing, I'm not wearing that," she protested. It looked like a bridal shower ribbon except rather than saying, I'm getting married — or, bachelorette party, it said, It's my birthday!
Trevor already draped it over her neck and gently took her arm and threaded it through. He grinned to himself, "Awww, it's your birthday, I wouldn't have known!," he joked. "Now, leave it on…"
She chuckled away, even though she didn't really want to wear it, she loved the fuss he was making over her even if it felt a little odd and out of character for what she had received in the past.
This was already more than anything.
She happily ate her fruit salad, eating all the melon first — her least favourite part before she moved on to the kiwi and the strawberries. He had put in extra knowing how much she liked them.
It was always the little things that he did that never went unnoticed that nobody in her past would have ever thought a little bit harder to do for her.
"How's the breakfast?"
"Perfect," she replied, placing the almost-empty bowl down to sip her coffee. "Thank you for this, it's actually… such a sweet gesture."
"You think so? This is just… what you do for someone's birthday?," he offered.
"Maybe it's what you do, but it's not what I've ever been treated to and I really appreciate it. It's thoughtful and lovely."
He sat down beside her and kissed her cheek. "You're welcome but you don't have to keep thanking me."
She finished her fruit and glanced at him, picking his glasses up from the bedside table and slipping them on. "Would you like your gift now or in front of everyone?"
"Oh no, not in front of everyone…" she replied with a laugh, "that's too much, I wouldn't handle something from you in front of everyone."
"Okay," he reached to the end of the bed and picked up the small box and handed it to her. "Happy birthday baby, I hope you like it, but if you don't you just need to tell me."
"I'm sure I'll love it," she replied. She traded him for the breakfast tray which he put aside on his bedside for her. He scooted closer. She knew it was jewellery and she was a little excited, she hadn't had a piece of jewellery for a very long time — not since her engagement ring from Elliot that she had tossed back to him at some stage.
She unwrapped it carefully and Trevor waited with baited breath. "Hurry up," he prompted her with a smile. She flicked her eyes up to meet his and gave him a smile. She ripped the paper off and smiled when she unwrapped a velvet box.
"I wonder what could be in here…" she murmured, genuinely curious.
"Well don't sit and stare at it, find out…" he commanded with a little laugh.
Olivia opened the box slow. He watched her mouth fall open. "Oh… come on, Trev…"
He smiled faintly, unsure if she liked it or not. "Trev…" her voice trailed, "this is beautiful…"
It was an oval-shaped gold medallion with a simple shining star in the middle. The shine came from the most beautiful, sparkling diamond. "I hope this doesn't sound egotistical," he began, "but… if you ever feel shaken up or— unsure, I want to be this guiding star for you to feel centred by. Anytime you feel like that I've not been that for you, then you should all but throw it away, because I don't want you to ever not feel that way about me."
When she made eye contact he could see her eyes were welling with tears. "This is so beautiful… it doesn't sound egotistical because that's what you've always been for me," she murmured, slowly taking the necklace out of the box. "I love it, it's so pretty…"
"Do you want to put it on? I made sure they put it on a sturdy chain so if you liked it, you didn't have to keep removing it every day."
"Yes, yes, put it on, please…" she smiled. As she was about to hand it over to him, she paused, leaning over. He kissed her softly. "Thank you… honestly, from the abyss of my heart, I love it so much, the intention, the gift itself… you."
His eyes crinkled in the corners as he beamed at her, proud of himself and infinitely happy that she genuinely loved it. Raia had told him he had singlehandedly made her birthday about him and made him second guess it. She had assured him she was teasing, but he wondered if there had been a kernel of truth to it.
He kissed her soft lips again. "You're welcome." He leaned forward, kneeling so that she didn't have to move herself all the way around, shifting her body was tiring. He dropped the clasp twice, the parrot clip proving just a little tiny for his big hands. "There…" he got it, finally. He saw her smoothing it down around the front of her neck.
"I'm glad the chain isn't super short," she told him, "I like it when it is a little longer."
"Me too, it draws attention to your fabulous tits, its a little hypnotic for me," he joked.
She laughed. "Thanks, Trevor.."
"Oh wait, I'm so stupid. I have a card for you too." He got back up and went to his bag and dug around a little til he found a first grade syllabus. He pulled it out and flipped open the pages and pulled out the card that he had put in it so it wouldn't get bent. He climbed back on to the bed and passed it over.
Olivia took it and opened it up, something fell out of it.
"Oh, what's this?," she asked, picking it up. She picked up the little leaflets of paper and grinned, looking up at him, "oh my goodness, Trevor!" It was a gift card for a day spa that she'd talked about going to once but had never got around to. It was good for three 2hr massages or equivalent treatments. And the other paper, three hair appointments with the hair dresser appointments.
"I just figured that when the baby comes you're going to need some spoiling and some time for yourself every now and then, so… this is just a little start, but I'm going to make sure that you get that time — for some stuff like this or .. whatever, Liv. You deserve it for all the stuff you do for me and the kids."
She was gobsmacked. She read the card quietly for a moment.
To my lovely Olivia,
Happy Birthday to you, my love. Our first birthday spent together and I hope that together we will celebrate many more of our years. I hope to make every birthday of yours as memorable and as special as the last. With every fragment of life that happens around us, it's important that each of us gets to feel pampered, content and peaceful on the day we were born to celebrate our lives.
I love you very, very, very much and I am so deeply grateful that you were born and that you chose me.
All my love, Trevor.
She wiped her eyes immediately. "Sorry," she apologised with a laugh, "I'm just a little overwhelmed by you," when she saw his face— an expression of panic, she clarified, "in a wonderful way," she added, "no one has just ever been this kind to me on my birthday and it's … not even 9 in the morning," she half-laughed and half-sobbed.
He held her close for a moment and kissed her. "I'm sorry that it's taken this long to be appreciated for all who you are, Olivia, I love you and you can't keep breaking down," he chuckled as she slowly pulled away, "because you haven't even seen what other sweet things are in store."
She laughed as she read over her card again and put it on her bedside table. "Thank you for these vouchers, they are amazing. I don't think I'd really ever spend this much money on myself."
"I know," he smiled, "that's why I took care of it."
"I hope it didn't hit your purse strings too hard," she told him, "because I don't expect very expensive things, Trev, I hope you know that. I would have been just as happy to be basking in your company and the company of everyone else today."
"Oh," he smiled. "You know, we haven't ever really discussed money yet and maybe we should just have a quick little break down of things… I'm not withholding anything from you, but I guess it just hasn't come up," he began.
"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, "I'm okay for money— I have a nest egg and savings and after … the thing I told you about this morning, the police bought me an apartment and then Noah and I sold it to buy where we live now and I paid off the remaining mortgage last year."
"Wait no, no, I meant for me, I know you're responsible with money Liv…" He looked at her, "I have a lot of money— when Lana and I were married we both took a high life insurance policy because we live in the city and we decided that if something happened to one of us, we couldn't have survived on a very low and basic insurance payout and then just on one income, so… we paid premium obviously never truly thinking of something bad happening…"
"Oh…" Liv murmured.
"Yeah.. and then when I moved out of our married apartment to get away from the memories my Mom and Dad surprised me with the gift of my new apartment."
"What do you mean? They bought you an apartment?"
Trevor laughed, his cheeks flushing. "Yeah… Dad got a huge payout of his own from the police after his injury on the job and they bought both Raia and I our first homes and they suggested that I share the insurance payout with Lana's parents which wasn't necessary but I guess I agreed to assuage my guilt," he explained, "I confronted them about it and they refused to take a cent, so… I invested some money and I have compounding interest, plus my wage."
"But… that's not our money, Trevor that's your and Lana's money," she told him gently.
"No," he replied firmly, "that's the money that we paid so that if an accident occurred, the other person could continue life comfortably and as happily as possible without the other. So now, you and I, together in our life can be comfortable. I have a few million saved. I'm not a millionaire but I have money-"
Olivia managed to laugh, "you telling me you have a few mill and then telling me you're not a millionaire directly contradicts that statement."
He laughed too. She was surprised. She understood now why he thought nothing of spending a ridiculous amount of money on the hotel — or had taken her to very expensive restaurants when they went on dates. "I guess it sounds like a lot of money, but with inflation and the future as it is, I never want to have to struggle and I don't want our kids to struggle… so if you're comfortable, I think soon we should merge some of our funds. I'm happy for you to have full access to my stuff if you feel like you trust me with the same on yours, but we should definitely have separate accounts for our wages and pay savings in together so we can build a future for ourselves and our kids."
She nodded slow. "I trust you with whatever, baby, honestly. I don't want to spend your money, though."
"It'll be our money and I guess we just talk through big purchases, but essentially you just use your wage money like I do for incidentals and if you want to do anything private that you don't want me knowing about… like buying gifts," he smiled. "But anything else, special stuff, like massages, clothes, dresses, whatever— we just use the joint account."
"Okay, well let's worry about that later but thanks for trusting me and telling me."
"Of course," he replied, "I know you worry about me spending too much money on you, you always say it, but I just wanted you to know that I am spending what you are worth and I wouldn't ever put myself out if I couldn't afford something."
"Thanks, Trev," she smiled. He kissed her again.
She wasn't too surprised about him having money. He had always given off the vibe that he had a little wealth behind him but she wasn't particularly expecting to hear he had a few million dollars. He was a smart man who made smart choices, probably backed by his own parents who were clearly smart and who had built a fortune of sorts for themselves.
"Would you like to get up and have a shower?" Trevor asked.
"I was actually thinking I could start my morning with a swim in the pool."
"What ifffff…." He paused, "and this is totally up to you," he added, "what if you had a shower and I got in there with you and gave you a little bit of a massage that may or may not end happily, depending on how you feel."
Olivia laughed, "Mmmm I could maybe be persuaded. If nothing else, maybe some help with the soap…"
Trevor grinned at her. "Okay, you get ready for a shower, I'll let the masses outside the room who I'm sure are waiting for you, that you're going to spend some time in the bathroom with.. I don't know, a face mask or whatever you guys do… and I'll say that I'm coming back up to shave and help you if you need anything since you know, pregnant and all."
Olivia laughed at his excuses. "Your sister is gonna be like, yeahhhh they're just hitting it."
He laughed too, "Probably. So what, your birthday your call."
/
He got in the shower first, letting the water warm up a little before taking her hand and helping her step down the lip of the large shower recess — they really had taken the best room of the house at his parent's insistence. "How's your back today?"
"Pretty sore," she replied, watching him bend over to get the body wash, a chill suddenly caressing the surface of her skin causing goosebumps to briefly surface. She turned around and let the water wash over her face. He squirted some body wash and hung it back up on the shower caddy and lathered began to generously apply it to her wet back and shoulders. Immediately they dropped back with relaxation and Olivia sighed softly.
"Good?," he asked with a little laugh at just how quickly she showed her enjoyment.
"Feels like heaven…" she replied, feeling his hands sliding all over her back and down her spine and back up again over her collarbones. His touch was delicate and sensual and she began to feel his fingertips around her neck.
She shivered beneath his touch and enjoyed the feel of him exploring her skin, lathering it with the scent of milk and honey mingling with the shower steam. He lifted one arm and worked on lathering her skin and then on to the other. She let her eyes shut and leaned in to him behind her, her slippery skin feeling so wonderful against his own.
He couldn't deny how good she felt and couldn't help but feel an erection as her backside crushed against his hips. She didn't care, she knew it was inevitable and also… she liked how that felt too.
He slide his hands over her belly, feeling the baby flutter gently beneath his hands. He planted a kiss on the back of her neck. "I love you…" he murmured as he rubbed her tummy lovingly, slowly drawing his large hands up to her breasts, letting his palms graze over her nipples. He felt her back arching against him and a small, soft moan escape her mouth.
"I think I'm feeling a little impatient," she told him gently. "I'm really… just frustrated because it's so hard to feel like it's comfortable to have sex," she complained as she reached behind her and wrapped her hand around his erection, stroking him gently. His breath caught for a second before he gently took her hand.
He took the shower spray down off the cradle and began to rinse her off until all the suds circled the drain. He threaded past her on to the bath mat and took her hand, turning to make sure the bathroom door was locked. "What are you doing?"
"Trying a different angle… last night when I massaged your back, that was an okay position, right?"
"Yeah…I think so," she chuckled.
"Okay, try that… I had some dirty thoughts in the moment," he replied with a laugh. "Is this what you want?"
"Yeah," she smiled at him in the reflection of the mirror. "It's my birthday and I don't have time to mess around with you torturing me — or the patience. So have your way, man servant," she joked.
Trevor laughed as she leaned over the vanity, resting her arms on the edge, glancing over her shoulder at him. He grinned at her playfulness and was glad she was in such great spirits.
He took her hips and attempted to get in to a comfortable position but Olivia shook her head and pushed herself up immediately, "I'm sorry," she replied quickly, "Sorry, I can't… my back," she complained. "Fuck…"
"What is it?," he asked gently, "does it hurt?"
"Yeah… it's really just …" she drew a deep breath, a look of pain spreading across her face. "I think because the baby dropped last night, it's pulling too much if I lean over, I have to hold my tummy and I can't do both."
"I'm sorry," he apologised as she turned around to face him, "I really wanted to give you whatever you wanted…" she drew him closer as he towered over her.
"Its okay, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want too."
"No, don't apologise, sweetheart." He opened the shower door which was still running to muffle any sounds. "Come on, come in here… If you want to, I'll just massage your back for you…"
"Okay, thank you and I'm sorry."
Trevor smiled, "Don't apologise, this isn't about me, this is about you.You're the birthday girl."
She managed a laugh and let him take her hands and pull her back in to the shower.
/
Olivia was gobsmacked when she finally made it downstairs in to the kitchen and living area - it was all one big open planned space. Her eyes were wide with shock and surprise as the dining room was filled with gifts and there were helium filled balloons covering the roof.
"What! Oh my goodness, are you kidding me!," she exclaimed, "like, for real… this is too much guys!"
"Happy birthday!" Noah jumped up, racing to his Mom, "Happy birthday Mom!"
She grinned at her eldest and wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you babe, this looks amazing, who did this?"
"We all did," Kaci told her not far behind her son. She opened up her other arm to her and hugged her, kissing her too.
"Thank you guys so much," she murmured, "this is just really so beautiful." She glanced over at Patrick and Georgie who were waiting for to greet her too and as she looked around she saw her friends all smiling at her, waiting for her to wake up so that they could celebrate her.
It was the very best she could do not to burst in to tears.
"Happy birthday Olivia," Raia smiled at her sister-in-law from across the dining table.
"Thank you," she replied as Noah and Kaci pulled away and let the others wish her a happy birthday too.
Noah disappeared for a few moments and came back holding something behind his back. Olivia gave him her attention, realising he had been waiting for her. "Oh, what do you have?," she asked.
With a soft, shy smile he produced a bouquet of flowers from behind his back "Here you go… happy birthday Mom, I love you."
"Oh thank you, sweetheart, they're beautiful." She took them and gave them a sniff. "My favourite, dahlias…"
Noah smiled, "I remembered…"
"You never forget, my love," she kissed his forehead. "Thank you!"
"Let me take those, I'll go put them in a vase for you," Trevor honed in, realising Olivia was looking around for a place to put them down.
"Thank you, Dad," she replied. Noah took her gently by the arm, "Mom can you come with me to my room, I want to give you my gift."
"Aww there's more? Between you and Dad, you guys are spoiling me rotten." Noah just smiled. "Let me say good morning to everyone and I'll be right up, how about that?"
"Okay," Noah agreed, wanting to give the gift he'd made his Mom in private. "I'll wait upstairs."
"Okay babe, I'll just be a second."
Olivia watched him ascend the stairs before she turned back to her friends and family, not really knowing what to do about the attention lavished upon her. "Happy birthday, beauty," Georgie greeted her with her husband, giving her a big hug. She felt like royalty, everyone lining up to greet her and cuddle her. She couldn't have been happier.
"Mommy can we give auntie Liv our gifts now?!," Billie asked her Mom impatiently.
"Honey, come on, give auntie Liv a minute, she's really busy because it's a big day for her!"
Liv looked over at precious Billie and Jessie who were doing their best to be patient. "Oh girls," she smiled, "I'm just going to go upstairs and talk to Noah for a few minutes and I promise I will be right back down and I am so excited to get special birthday cuddles from you both."
Billie smiled and nodded excitedly. Jessie was always different, she tried to remain stoic even when she was having emotions about something. "Thanks for being so patient guys," she added.
"Thank you guys," she said to everyone, "I promise I'll be right back…"
"Please yourself Liv, it's your birthday, you need to do what you want," Tara told her.
She made her way upstairs to meet Noah in his bedroom. Noah heard her footsteps getting closer as he gathered the gift he had worked tirelessly on. He took a deep breath. It was still early and his Mom seemed to be in very good spirits.
"Hey babe," she greeted him.
"Happy birthday Mom," he remarked, his voice a little soft but she could tell that he was excited.
Olivia's heart swelled with affection for her eldest son; the sight of him, his curls still so messy from sleep and his face was filled with a mix of pride and nervousness. She sat down on the edge of his bed. He handed her a package that held a little bit of weight to it, but wasn't overly heavy. She could tell it was a box.
"This is so sweet of you, honey, I hope you know you never have to buy me anything," she told him, "all I ever expect is to hang out with my family on my birthday, that makes me as happy as anything else."
"I know," he smiled, "you always say that, but… you should expect a gift. You spend so much time and money on making my birthday special, you should feel like that too."
She reached over and smoothed his hair. "Thanks, honey…"
She stared at the gift for a moment.
"So I uh… I made that myself, I wanted to make you something special, something that I thought you would truly love, not just because I made it."
Tears prickled at her eyes but Olivia blinked them back. She carefully unwrapped the gift slowly until she was presented with a box. She opened it up and took out something that was wrapped in white tissue paper. She glanced at her son and smiled, "How many times did you wrap this?"
Noah chuckled.
Beneath the white tissue paper was a delicate wooden heart, polished and smooth with a simple and beautiful wood burn engraving of three names;
Noah
Lexi
Luka
Olivia's breath caught for a moment as she gently traced her finger over the carving - it was so beautifully wax-polished and had a lovely smooth finish with only a very slight shine. "I worked on it in shop with Mr. Henson for the past few weeks, he helped me with the sanding and showed me how to polish it so smooth…" he explained, "if you turn it over, you can see that we put a weight in it so you can put it on your desk at work or … wherever you want, I guess… I thought it might remind you of us on your tough days."
"Oh sweetheart," she uttered as a blush creeped on to his cheeks.
Olivia couldn't hold her tears back this time. She set the heart down and pulled her son in to a warm hug, kissing the top of his head. "It's so perfect, Noah, I love it so much, thank you, my love."
He hugged her back, his arms felt a little stronger than she was used to, he really was growing up. But, the thoughtful gift carved with such care reminded her that regardless of how much he grew, his kind heart would always remain the same — kind, compassionate, loving and hers.
"I'm so proud of you," she whispered, her voice full of emotion.
"I just wanted to make your birthday special, Mom," he told her as they pulled away from one another.
"And you did, babe," She picked up the wooden heart and pulled it close to her chest, "you and Dad already did."
"You better go down and see everyone else, everyone wants to see their friend and their sister and daughter in-law," Noah told her.
"I know, but you're my baby and I can hang out with you if you want, you never have to feel like second best. You just have to say something, okay?"
"I know, but I want everyone to celebrate you, Mom, it's what you deserve."
"Thanks babe, you and Dad have really gone crazy today spoiling me, I feel very special, so thank you."
He got up and grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, go put my gift in your room… I don't want anyone else to see it."
"Why not? It's beautiful…" she replied.
"Because it's for you, not for anyone else," he shrugged.
"Okay," she figured that he may have been a little embarrassed over it. "Can I show Dad?"
Noah smiled, "Of course Dad has seen it, he came to see it when I was working on it with Mr. Henson. I think he thought I was in trouble or on a detention or something, so he came to see why I was spending my lunch time in shop, but there were a couple students there just working on personal projects."
Olivia laughed, "I bet he thought it was amazing too."
Noah nodded, "yeah, he told me you would love it."
"He was right. Come on, we'll go put it in my room."
/
Olivia sat out on the warm patio with her friends and family as they lavished her with lots of beautiful gifts that made her feel incredibly warm with love but also slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.
Kaci had helped Billie and Jessie make friendship bracelets for their auntie the night before which Olivia thought was the sweetest thing— the girls had been so excited to give them to her.
Tara and Kaci bought Olivia some cute little gifts that had functional uses. The first one was a USB mug warmer, for all the coffees that Tara watched Olivia tip out and remake because it had gone cold. "Ohh this is so great," Liv laughed and showed Trevor, "look, I won't be known as the precinct milk alternative waster…"
Sonny laughed too, knowing that no one else at work would even go near oat milk, but it was a running joke of how often she made coffee's that she watched go cold all day.
There was a cocktail book that Tara had told her was for when she was ready to drink again. Olivia had expressed interest in having a girls night once Luka was born and she was finally able to have a few drinks. A warm throw blanket and a nice pair of gold hoop earrings.
Trevor's parents took a more practical approach. They both gave her a hug and a card and told her she might like to open it more in private. Puzzled, but she agreed and thanked them.
Trevor smiled to himself fully knowing that she was not going to love their gift of a random and generous gift of cash. It was what they did and he was used to it. Every year since turning around 16, his parents gift came as cash and although they never forced him, they always encouraged him to save some of it, so he did. Almost by habit whenever his parents gave him money, he put it in the bank but the older her got the advice became reversed; spend it!
Amanda had put together a box of beauty pampering, fully understanding that as soon as Luka was born, she was going to want to do small, easy effort things. She knew Olivia, she would have never been the type of Mom to go days without showering and would never allow herself to be so frazzled that she wouldn't at least brush her hair and teeth, but the small things that she could put together would help. Face wipes for her, under eye glow, lip glosses, dry shampoos, a good brush, a couple of face masks, an expensive moisturiser that they both loved, some emergency chocolate and mini bottles of booze.
Olivia loved it, she couldn't believe how thoughtful her friends were.
Raia and Gavin were a little similar-minded to her her parents. "I wanted to give you money, but Trevor said no that you'd say it was too much," Raia smiled, "but… he said Gavin and I could buy you this…" she handed her a card.
"Well… I'm curious…" she opened the card and read the sweet message from her sister-in-law and family.
Dear Olivia,
Happy Birthday! Thank you for being an amazing sister-in-law and I can't wait for us to celebrate being sisters until we are old and grey. Have a fantastic day getting spoiled by your family and friends, we love you!"
There was a folded bit of paper and her eyes fell upon the soft blue nursing chair she wanted to buy for when the baby arrived. It was beautiful and cosy and gently rocked. "What's this?," she asked, confused.
"We bought it for you for your birthday," Gavin explained, "Trevor told us you guys were going to buy it when you got back to the city…"
"Ohhh no, this is too much," Liv blurted out. It wasn't cheap, it was an expensive chair.
"Don't be silly, it's your birthday and we wanted to get you something we know you will use. So, enjoy it!"
"Oh, thank you, I still think it's too much but… wow… thanks guys," she stood up and thanked them both with a hug and a kiss while Trevor came out to the patio with an iced coffee for her.
"Thanks baby," she smiled at him and took the beautiful looking coffee he had made. She felt so loved for the tiny little things he did, like lining the glass in caramel syrup before he added the shot of decaf and the oat milk and the half tonne of ice she loved. It made the coffee look extra amazing.
"You're welcome," he replied. "Beautiful gifts, huh?"
"Yeah…" she smiled at her friends and family, "thank you everyone, this is honestly just such a beautiful morning. I can't believe Trevor ratted me out, I told him not to tell anyone it was my birthday."
"Oh Liv come on," Amanda rolled her eyes, "how are we gonna come and stay and holiday with you guys in this amazing summer house and ignore the fact that it's your birthday. It's a terrible secret anyway, the girls would have ratted you out long before Trevor."
She chuckled, she knew it was true.
"Well, thank you guys, honestly, this is all so sweet."
"Nice necklace, by the way," Raia remarked, "do you like it?"
"Of course, its gorgeous and the sentiment behind it was just as beautiful," she added knowing that he had been given a little hard time about it from his sister.
"So what do you want to do today?" Raia asked, "do you have any special requests?"
"No, I guess I just want to hang out and stay close. I don't really feel like going for any adventurous walks or anything today, I was so exhausted and in a lot of pain last night so, maybe an easy day today."
"Mom and I were thinking maybe a nice fruit platter for brunch and some snacks and we can do whatever you want for dinner."
A smile spread across Olivia's lips. "A fruit platter sounds amazing, actually, especially in this heat…" she agreed and Trevor also promised me some special mocktail he's been working on.
"Oh yeah," Raia grinned at her brother, "sure, that was Trevor's idea…"
Trevor laughed.
"Guys, look who I found!" Noah appeared, coming outside holding on to his baby sister.
Olivia looked up and grinned at her daughter who was cuddling a gift close to her chest, looking tired and sucking on a pacifier that they had fought so hard to take away from her, but had given in since she had been so unsettled.
"Ooooft look at that face, those beautiful eyes…" Olivia remarked, "Hiiiii my loves," she softly greeted them. She pulled out a chair, "come sit with Mommy, both of you."
Noah obliged his Mom and passed over Lexi. "It's Mommy's birthday remember?," Noah reminded his little sister, "we're going to give her your gift, smoosh…."
Lexi looked at the gift in her hands and looked up at Olivia who had taken her from Noah and sat her on the edge of the table in front of her. "Let's take this one out of your mouth…" Olivia took the pacifier from her mouth and put it aside. She held the gift out to Olivia. It was around the size of a standard piece of office paper and was hard and flat. Olivia had an idea of what it was, but took the gift graciously.
"For me?!," she gasped, making a big show of her surprise. "That's so kind of you! Thank you my love. Is it a special gift for Mommy's birthday?"
Lexi nodded a slow smile coming to her lips. "For Mommy," she nodded again.
"Aww, thank you! Should we open it?"
Lexi nodded and watched Olivia make a show of ripping the paper in an impolite way that made her daughter giggle. She pulled out a frame and turned it around so she could see what was on it. It was a colourful drawing in crayons that made absolutely no sense but in the middle there was a sweet photo of her and Noah from her second birthday party.
"Me!," Lexi pointed at the photo.
"That's right! That's Lexi, and who is this?"
Lexi looked at Noah and giggled, "Bah-bah!"
"That's right, that's your brother, Noah. This is so beautiful, thank you Lexi, Mommy loves her drawing," she told. "Mommy is sooooo happy today." She kissed her daughter's forehead and leaned over to kiss Noah's temple. "Thank you," she said to him, knowing that he was behind the special gift.
She put the drawing aside and cuddled her baby. "Look at Mommy's belly," she told Lexi, "remember what's inside Mommy's belly?"
Lexi nodded, "Baby!"
"That's right! A baby!," she grinned and kissed her again. "And soon the baby is gonna come out of Mommy's belly and you're going to have two wonderful brothers! You are gonna be so lucky."
Trevor smiled watching his kids and Olivia interact. "Mom, would you come for a swim with me this morning in the ocean, just you and I?" Noah asked a little bashfully. "I mean, only if you feel up to it," he added.
She felt her lips turn up in to a smile. It wasn't often that Noah asked her to do anything just one-on-one so she took it. "Of course, I would love that… Should I be expecting any big news?"
Noah laughed, "No, Mom, I just wanted to hang out with just you for a short while, just a quick swim and a short walk, but not too much, I know you're feeling heavy and tired."
"Its okay babe, I would love to hang out with you. Dad can watch Lexi for awhile, right, Dad?"
"Of course," Trevor replied.
"Let me finish my coffee and then I'll go upstairs and get my bathers on and we can head out."
/
"How are you enjoying your trip so far?" Olivia asked her son, "is it weird waking up and having Kaci in the same house?"
Noah thought for a moment as they walked very slowly along the sand. "Nah, because we are giving each other our own space. I thought it would be different, like, spending all day with each other but I think the space is good too, it makes the time that we spend nicer… I know she's struggling a little bit and it's hard because she doesn't want to talk to me about it."
"Oh honey, I don't think she wants to talk to anyone about it. She's been through a lot and I imagine this didn't just start from her birthday… this has been going on at home since she was a tiny girl, it's a lot of baggage that she may not just be ready to deal with right now."
Noah nodded. "I know, but I don't like seeing her sad. I don't want her to have to pretend for me, but I just don't really know what to do." Olivia put an arm around her son.
"Just be there, honey. Just offer her a shoulder to lean on. Hold her hand and don't turn your back on her just because it feels a bit difficult."
"I know, I wouldn't do that to her… I think it's just difficult right now."
"Well, space is good, maybe she needs it to collect her own thoughts and to get used to this new life with her Mom."
"Are you enjoying your birthday so far?, we're used to quiet birthdays…"
"Yeah, it was a really nice surprise to wake up to everyone ready to celebrate. It's a little overwhelming and to be honest, I'm enjoying this, you and I, just having a moment to walk and talk together," she told him, slipping her arm beneath his.
Noah smiled at her. "I thought maybe you might want some time for quiet without upsetting anyone."
"You know me too, babe," she replied. "How about you? Are you okay with sharing my birthday with everyone else?"
"Yeah of course, you should be celebrated. I don't know anyone else who deserves it more than you," he admitted honestly, looking up at his Mom with his big blue eyes.
"But…?" Olivia pushed, "you can tell me, honey, it's okay."
He shrugged, "I don't know, I just feel like it's easy to get lost in the crowd of people who want to be around you…"
She let go of his arm and wrapped her arms around him. "Sweetie, always, always tell me if you want to hang out with me just on our own. I think I assume you're growing up and you want to do more stuff independently, so I don't push… I see that you enjoy time with Dad and I'm so happy about that, but if you want us to just hang out, that's totally fine, I love hanging out with you and there's no one more important to me than you and Lexi and Dad…"
"I kinda miss hanging out with you and watching stupid TV shows or movies at night."
"Okay," she smiled, "we'll make sure we have time to do that without Lexi or Dad or the baby interrupting us every five seconds… it's important to me that you don't get scraps of me, Noah, okay?"
He nodded. "Thanks Mom, I love you. I don't want to sound whiny or anything, because I'm happy, I just wanna hang out more."
"No babe, I'm glad you're honest about it… now that I'm having the baby, I'll be at home for awhile and so once Dad gets home from work, I'll have some time to hang out with you."
"I'm excited to meet baby Luka, I'll help with him too, as much as I can."
"Thanks sweetheart, but that's entirely not your job to have to do that. You're already doing so much with Lexi and we love that, but you don't always have to."
"I know, but I like being a brother and spending time with her. She's just so sweet and now that she's starting to talk more it's even nicer because we get to see her turning in to her own person…"
"That's true, I love that about her too. Also, it's easier when she can tell me what she needs," Liv added.
They walked in silence for a short while before they settled on a nice spot to sit. Noah helped his Mom down until she was sitting on her towel. "I'm gonna go for a really quick swim, I'll be right back," he promised.
"Take your time, babe…"
/
Once Noah was back he sat down beside Olivia, not bothering to dry himself. "Mom, Kaci told me that yesterday she had some nightmares and that she talked to you and her Mom about it and you said you have nightmares all the time too… Are you okay?"
A smile spread across her mouth. She hadn't really thought about Kaci sharing that with her son. "Yeah, I'm okay," she answered.
"Why are you having nightmares? Because of Elliot?"
She thought for a moment. "Not really because of Elliot, remember when you were little? Maybe like… in first grade and you went to stay with Aunt Amanda for a few days and then I was really sick for awhile when I got back?"
"Yeah…" he said quietly and she realised he knew. "Because of William Lewis."
She did everything she could not to gasp. "I didn't realise you knew…"
"When I googled you that time and found out about my biological father, it was in the search results and I didn't want to click on it, but I went back a few weeks later because it was bothering me to not know, because I knew there were probably kids at school that knew stuff about you that I didn't."
"I'm sorry I never told you explicitly, babe, it's just very, very hard to talk about still to this day. I don't even know how to find the words - I don't know what to say about it," she felt her eyes welling up. She looked at Noah and tried her best to smile, "I just know how to tell you that I fought for you, babe, I had you waiting for me, and maybe if I didn't, I would have given up, but I fought with every bit of me to survive for you."
Noah bit the inside of his lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Its okay," she whispered. She sniffed and cleared her throat and reached for his hand. "I don't ever mean to keep stuff from you. I just…" she paused to look for the right words, "before you came along," she spoke slow, often changing direction of how she wanted to approach the intention of the conversation, "before you," she cleared her throat again, trying not to let her emotions overcome her, "I didn't have a lot of people who loved me the way that I do now," she admitted, "just Elliot and you know, maybe not even Elliot as I thought — but he was the closest to family that I had — and he left without word. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't return my calls, he ran… and I felt like maybe I had caused that— that something I did caused him to leave me."
Noah hung on to her words and felt himself getting emotional too —he hated that his Mom had internalised Elliot's behaviour. "I guess, Amanda was one of my first real and true friends after Elliot left but so much happened, so many shitty things happened to me that I don't know that I could ever explain to you, but I just felt like I couldn't talk about things because my baggage would make others love me even less…"
"You never want me to hold on to stuff inside of me…" he murmured.
"I know, because I know how dark and lonely that feels and I know I will never, ever turn my back on you. I don't care what you do or say — I will never let you feel like I did in the past."
"And then after Elliot, William Lewis happened?"
She nodded. "Yeah… and I think in your head you believe I changed after Elliot, but truthfully, I changed after him," she told Noah, "I had a lot of issues sleeping and trauma and I still was never really able to talk about it because I never want anyone to think about me in such a vulnerable way because I want to stay strong for you and for Dad and Lexi and my friends—"
"But it's okay if you aren't always strong, Mom, your family are the people you never have to pretend around. The way that you say you don't want me to feel like you'd turn your back is the way that Dad and I feel…"
"I know, but I've had people say that to me in the past and still turn their back on me, so it's hard for me to truly trust that… but I'm getting better at it. It's all just a very slow moving process."
"I understand because of how scared I was to tell you and Dad that I liked guys too… Everything inside me kept saying to me that you'd be fine and that you'd never leave me, but there was that what if feeling… because Elliot left us. He left you a second time, what an ass."
Olivia managed a laugh. "I lost him once, that's why I stayed when it was so bad, I thought that he was the best I could get…"
Noah laughed. "And then you met Dad and you were like eff this cue ball…"
Olivia managed another peel of laughter. "You are terrible, kiddo…" Noah laughed too.
"Mom, you can tell me or Dad if you've had a hard night of bad dreams, sometimes its okay to want to just have a hug or a cry, I know maybe I was a bit mean about it sometimes when you used to cry, but it was only because I didn't know what to do or how I should react…"
She smiled, "I know babe and thank you. Dad and I actually talked a little about it this morning, it was the first time I've been able to discuss it with him."
"He didn't google?"
She shook her head. "No, he wants to hear it from me I suppose," she replied, "but it's still pretty awful and I don't want anyone to have to think about that psychopath."
"I'm sorry that you went through that, Mom but thank you for getting through it and thank you for still being able to be a good Mom regardless of that."
"I don't deserve a kid as wonderful as you," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his temple.
"Well, maybe not, I am pretty amazing," he laughed.
Olivia gave him a gentle push. "Hey… guess what?"
"What?," he asked.
"Remember when you turned thirteen and you asked me every day for weeks if your voice was changing?"
Noah's cheeks turned a little pink. "Ugh, yeah how embarrassing…what a loser."
Olivia chuckled with him. "Well, as much as it pains me to say it, I've noticed the past few weeks your voice is starting to change…it makes me very sad because it means you're going to have a growth spurt and tower over me and you're probably going to grow up way faster than I'm ready for."
Noah grinned at his Mom and shook his head. "Nah, I will always be your baby, you say it all the time," he reminded her, nudging her, "and I'll always be a Mommy's boy, I can't help that and I have no shame about it."
"Good," she smiled at him. His face was starting to show new angles and she had noticed a few little changes about him. His height was gradual, he was about as tall as her and she expected that he would become a little taller at least.
"Are you gonna swim or do you want to head back?," he asked.
"I'll swim for a few minutes if you want to go back in." Noah was quick on his feet and began to help his. Mother up before she even had to prompt him.
/
"Oh what!" Olivia exclaimed with a laugh, "hellllloooooooo!," she greeted Hannah when they returned, "what a surprise! You rat, you told me you couldn't get the time off."
"Surprise!," Hannah grinned at her friend. Olivia made her way over, hugging her and turning her attention to Adam and Alice. "Hey guys! Thanks for coming."
"Happy birthday, Liv," they greeted her. Noah was happy to see his bestfriend and immediately they began chatting away and began to walk away.
"Adam don't you dare go anywhere," Hannah called out to him, "I told you we have to get the bags from the car before you go darting off."
"Noah babe, why don't you help Adam grab their things."
"Okay," Noah agreed as Hannah passed her son the keys.
"Thanks for coming," Olivia told Hannah once the kids left to get the bags.
"Are you kidding!? As if I'd miss your birthday. The kids are going to have the time of their lives. Olivia glanced behind Hannah at the doorway to see Billie meandering around. Trevor followed her out of the living room and glanced at Olivia with a smile.
"Hi Alice," he greeted her.
"Hello Mr Langan," she said softly.
"Its okay, you can call me Trevor," he told her.
"Hey honey, did you know that this year Trevor is going to be teaching at your school?"
"Really?." She asked softly.
"Really, really!" Trevor smiled. "So if you ever need any help or if there's anything wrong, you can just ask for me. I'll also be teaching at Adam and Noah's school too…"
Alice said nothing she just smiled shyly. "Hey Alice, I think there's someone here who would love to play with you. Remember Billie from Lexi's birthday party?"
Alice nodded slowly. "Billie, come say hello to Alice, babe," Liv called out to her. She slowly and shyly entered the room and stood awkwardly, saying hello to Alice.
"Sweetie, why don't you show Alice the mermaid lego we've been working on," he suggested. Olivia smiled at him, loving that he was a big kid at heart and thought nothing of getting down on the floor and getting involved in whatever the kids were doing.
"Okay," she turned to Alice, "Wanna see my lego? I'm making a big mermaid house."
Alice looked at her Mom to make sure it was okay. "Off you go, go play with the lego, but you can't wander off, alright? You need to stay close and ask permission if you are doing anything that you think maybe you shouldn't be doing without asking."
"Okay Mommy," she replied and followed Billie back in to the family room.
"Liv go have a seat outside," Raia told Olivia, "we'll get Hannah organised with a room for her and the kids and you and Trevor go relax, we're bringing out the fruit for you in moment."
"Aww, I can help?"
"You don't need to help. It's done. Go sit down, you look like you're in pain."
Olivia was in pain. Her lower back was starting to cramp up again and her legs and thighs were hurting too. She took a deep breath and let Trevor guide her outside. "How'd the walk go?"
"Really good," she smiled. "I think after I have something to eat, I'm gonna get in to the pool because my back is on fire and so are my legs."
"Okay, we'll get you in the pool and I can massage your back," he agreed. He had a niggling feeling that he'd had since he woke up that her cramping was actually in fact some low level contractions.
"Has the back pain got any better since last night?," he inquired.
"No, I guess it kind of lessened in severity or maybe I was sleeping heavily, I don't know…" she smiled. "I just feel overall exhausted and in pain. Not in an unbearable way, just… discomfort."
"Okay, well… don't be afraid to rest, it's your birthday and you can spend it however you want," he told her, putting an arm around her.
"Well, maybe it'll be fruit, swim and then a nap."
Trevor smiled, "Okay. Sonny, Gav and I are gonna take the boys down to the beach later to do kick the ball around. We might try to get them to involve the girls a little too."
Georgie came and placed the fruit platter down. It looked amazing. "Oh thank you so much Georgie, you always outdo yourself, this is perfect, you're the best."
Her mother-in-law paused to plop some pineapple in her mouth before giving Olivia a hug. "Anything for my birthday girl," she smiled. Dad and I are gonna sit with all the little ones and give them some fruit and yoghurt.
"Wait, wait, let me come in and take care of Lexi," Olivia said quickly.
"Nope, you're the birthday girl, you sit and take care of number one today."
Olivia looked up to see Sonny and Amanda filing out the back door. "Trev honestly," Amanda began, "your parents never stop, they are so sweet with Levi…"
"Adding one more to the brood," Trevor smiled, "they love it, this is just the most fun they can have, trust me. Mom loves cooking and preparing food. Dad loves the company and feeling useful and they both love all the kids so much."
"And you captain, how's your birthday?"
"I'm Olivia when we are at home and you know this," she shot back at him. "My birthday has been amazing so far. After this I'm going to get in the pool because its good for my back and then I'm going to have a nap."
"That's pretty perfect," Amanda smiled at her. "You look happy and that makes me happy…"
They shared a smile of recognition before Amanda began fixing herself and Sonny a plate of fruit.
Trevor jumped up to grab everyone some drinks from the fridge to transfer to the cooler. Olivia couldn't help but to imagine how amazing it would be to have an ice cold beer.
Not long left though, she told herself.
