Chapter 9: Trust is a strange thing

Draco yanked his arm away from her, pulling his sleeve over the mark as quickly as he could manage. He immediately retreated a few steps, putting enough distance between him and Hermione, fingers already darting to his wand. In a state of severe panic, he grabbed his wand and pointed it in her direction, pupils dilated into a dangerous pitch black. Hermione recognized that state. He was in shock.

"Don't come any closer!" He warned her, trying to subdue his escalating breathing.

"You need to calm down," she said gently, hands raised in a pacifying manner.

Draco looked cornered and Hermione knew he probably felt even worse inside. One of his foes had just exposed his greatest secret, and he had no idea how she managed to unveil it. In the past, he had played his part well and had managed to keep his involvement minimal - to the point they never thought him capable of aiding the Death Eaters invade Hogwarts. He had taken every precaution, had distanced himself from his classmates and had cursed others to do his bidding and while the probability of him being unmasked was pretty much shallow, it was never zero. And yet, there they were, facing each other under the worst possible circumstances.

"We don't need to bring wands into this, Draco. Let's just talk," Hermione suggested in the softest tone she could muster. On top of his growing anxiety, one wrong move could turn everything into something they would both terribly regret.

"How…how do you know about this?" He questioned her, glancing at his left forearm where his Dark Mark burned, as if aware of its sudden disclosure. To Hermione's distress, his wand remained in the same position, still hostile. She figured she would have to ease him into explanations while reassuring him that she meant no harm.

"I already told you. By some inexplicable fated artifice, I have been sent back to the past. I don't know how or why but something or someone made it possible for me to jump back into this particular moment in time. I know how crazy this must all sound but I'm telling you the truth," Hermione offered, hoping to find the best words to describe the madness she was currently facing. "I think I returned to the past because some things need to be done differently and I plan on making every effort to achieve that."

Draco's fingers tightened on his wand, his gaze never once leaving hers. "I don't believe you," he decided. "This is some trick you and Potter and Weasley are trying to play on me. You think I'm that naive, Granger? Think I'll fall for your deception? I know you've been watching me, all of you. Every moment of the day I can feel Potter's spiteful glare at the back of my head and everywhere I look I stumble over you, following me around like a stray cat. Is this a spell you're torturing me with?"

"There's no spell and someone else is responsible for your torture, Draco. You said I have no idea what you're going through but I do, I've seen it. I know how the Dark Lord forced you to become a Death Eater. I know he is punishing your family," Hermione revealed, starting to take timid steps in his direction.

"Shut up," he warned without much conviction. Hearing everything voiced out so directly made Draco feel incredibly powerless.

"How he is threatening to destroy everything and kill anyone who does not obey his orders. Or the way he's forcibly made you into one of his acolytes, tasking you with the most horrendous of acts," Hermione continued, advancing more confidently toward him.

"I said, shut up!" He exploded, shaking his wand in false threats.

"I'm sorry but I won't shut up. If I do, terrible things will happen and it will be too late for all of us. So if you want me to be quiet, Draco, then go ahead and Stupefy or Silencio me because I won't allow the opportunity to change the past pass me by!"

Draco's brain was surely muddled while his heart was confused beyond measure; all the things she said - they were true and incredibly private. If he didn't know any better, he would think the witch used a Polyjuice Potion to parade as one of them and attend all the humiliating instances, all of the frightening moments under his family's roof.

"Go on then! Aren't you going to use your wand against me?" Hermione provoked, stopping just inches away from his raised wand, almost daring him to use it.

Seconds seemed like hours to Hermione as he kept regarding her with predatory caution. He still had traces of the impulsive, bullying younger Draco but the past year had imprinted marks of maturity within him. His family's life was in the balance and for once, he was responsible for the way the scales tipped. He was malicious but not stupid, on the contrary. Moreover, something told Hermione that he would not attack her. Something in her bones whispered he would never hurt her. She pondered on the reason why but she was content to witness him lower his wand nevertheless, succumbing to his defeat.

"You're one mad witch, Granger," he pointed out, trying to swallow back his anxiety.

"What can I say, desperate situations ask for a bit of madness," Hermione said, allowing herself a small smile.

Draco, however, did not reciprocate. In fact, an expression of pure horror suddenly crossed his face.

"Wait…" Draco breathed out, suddenly realizing. "If you know I'm a Death Eater, then Potter knows as well! That prick is going to tell Dumbledore, won't he? And he's going to kill me - the Headmaster and your fucking Phoenix Order! At this point, it's either the Dark Lord or.."

"Draco, calm down. I haven't told Harry yet. I haven't told anyone actually, you and I are the only people who know," Hermione said, thinking in hindsight that perhaps revealing that they were the only people in on the secret was not that clever after all. Intuition aside, what would even stop him from pulling out his wand again and using it against her? It didn't matter what she felt, it was not wise to use one's heart before anything else. If her impression of him were to turn out wrong, he could ensure the success of his mission by simply getting Hermione Granger out of the way. Yet, while those thoughts were plaguing her mind, Draco continued to remain harmless, eyes searching hers for any sign of deceit.

"You haven't?"

"No," she shook her head vehemently. "We need to think these things carefully."

"And telling me first was the careful option?" He quirked his eyebrow at her, doubting her intelligence for a fraction of a second.

"I had to, you were spiraling out of control. Even in the future, you reach your breaking point and then you're beyond anyone's help."

"Oh," Draco said sounding defeated and Hermione thought he was probably reasoning that her words were indeed believable. Judging by the manner his actions progressed, she figured even he could see himself ending up broken. He wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping and he was no longer interested in any academic pursuits. Draco was slowly turning into a shell and Hermione had been the only one to notice.

"So, please, we need to talk about this. I promise to answer all your questions just… grant me a bit of your time."

Hearing her uncharacteristic plea, Draco most certainly had to be out of his element, Hermione thought. She watched him bite his lower lip, weighing his options. He had already over-indulged her but perhaps, he was desperate as well. Perhaps being offered a helping hand from her for the first time in his life was enough to make him change priorities or at least begin to. Perhaps that kiss was not so much out of pity. Among all the people involved in the entire ordeal, Draco was certainly at the center of the conflict, unknowingly dictating the battle's tide. Just when Hermione thought he would change his mind and slip away from her again, Draco finally spoke.

"Fine. Let's go somewhere more private."

Hermione nodded and followed him as he led them away from the 7th floor and up the stairs, into the familiar Astronomy Tower. They had walked in silence, side by side, aware of what a strange pair they made and hoping they would bump into no one because they were both running out of excuses.

"Interesting choice of location," Hermione remarked, enjoying the soft wind breeze dispersing among the thick strands of her hair.

"What do you mean?"

"This is where our Headmaster gets killed," Hermione said, reflecting on the painful event.

"Then… I kill him after all…" Draco trails off, a shadow of regret engulfing him, everything about him screaming with disappointment and misery.

"It's not you who does the deed," Hermione says, reigniting hope in Draco's eyes. Was that also relief she was reading in his gaze?

"Snape kills our Headmaster. He does it in your place."

"That makes sense. He's always so eager to please the Dark Lord," Draco smiled bitterly. "I assume you are also aware of his betrayal."

"Yes. Of his ulterior reasons too."

"Ulterior reasons?" Draco asked, his interest suddenly perked up.

Hermione hesitated whether to tell him or not and eventually decided to keep that piece of information to herself, at least for a while. She needed his alliance first.

"That's not important right now. What you need to know at the moment is that in the future, Voldemort is defeated. He will die for good."

"Does Potter…?" He ventured the appropriate guess, playing with his Slytherin ring in contemplation.

"Yes, Harry kills him although… it's more of a collective effort," Hermione said, taking a seat on the marble ledge, looking out in the distance. It felt absurd talking about matters long past but never forgotten. "However, everything comes at a high cost. Many of our professors and classmates lose their lives. Hogwarts is almost destroyed, suffering material and historical losses beyond repair. We are all psychologically affected by what will become a full-bodied war and it takes us a lifetime to get over the consequences. Your family too, you will never recover."

Hermione heard him inhale as if building up the courage to ask a long overdue question.

"Do we…do we survive? My mother? Father?"

"Yes, all three of you do."

He didn't say anything to that at first but Hermione could sense his relief. Still pondering on the facts, Draco came closer and also took a seat on the ledge, head resting on the adjacent pillar, fully facing Hermione.

"It doesn't seem like we deserve it," he eventually delivered, much to Hermione's surprise. "To survive this conflict."

"Believe it or not, you actually help us out. Your mother especially, she is the one who straight-up lies to Voldemort in Harry's favor and you yourself make it so that we escape certain situations unscathed."

"That hardly sounds like me."

"There were many instances where you could have deliberately caused us harm but you didn't, Draco. You did the right thing."

"Did it make any difference?"

Hermione sighed, wishing she could have described a different outcome. It was no use though. In their case, the truth was her best shot at convincing him to switch sides earlier. There was no glory, no worthy reward for supporting Voldemort, only terror and absolute power. Even if Voldemort did win, the Malfoys would not be free of their imprisonment, the Dark Lord would always demand they remain forever at his beck and call.

"Since you change sides near the very end…you do get pardoned and avoid going to Azkaban but your family name is forever sullied. Your father's social and political influence is no longer relevant. Financially, you suffer great losses. I suppose I don't need to explain to you that most of the repairs will be upheld by your family and the majority of your assets will get confiscated. Due to the role your family plays in the war and also your strong connection with Voldemort, your family name becomes associated with betrayal. You eventually lose all of your supporters, privileges and rights to interact with others in the Wizarding World. Even your pure-blood friends distance themselves from you."

"We'd most certainly be better off dead," Draco let out a grievous sigh for which Hermione could not blame him. It sounded horrible and no one would ever wish to end up in the Malfoy family's shoes in the future.

"It's not all bad," she said, trying to sweeten the facts. "You eventually get married, have a son and keep your family as far away as possible from your troubled background. Your values change. You build a decent and reasonable life while working to rehabilitate your family name. Yes, it's difficult and not an overnight feat but you make significant progress."

"Yes, I can imagine how that turns out," he said, still sounding unconvinced by Hermione's attempt at describing the bright side.

"Even you and Harry are on civil terms in the future, if you can believe that."

"Now that's impossible to picture," Draco scowled, finding it difficult to imagine such a world.

"It's true," Hermione confirmed, crossing her arms as if to prove a point. In her version of the future, they all try to build a better society and hate is no longer part of their trio's repertoire. They intersect occasionally with Draco Malfoy and it is always a bittersweet occurrence.

"Why are you telling me this, Granger?" Draco questioned out of the blue. His face became hard once more, rebuilding that wall of doubt and impenetrable coldness.

"Because I want to help," she replied sincerely, hoping her transparency would reach him.

"Why would you ever want to help me? Are you that unable to see how untrusty your motivation makes you look?"

Draco sounded frustrated. He had dropped his hands to his knees and his fingers had started digging into the fabric, puncturing skin, much like someone trying to wake up from something they hadn't agreed to experience. To Hermione, it looked as if he was desperately trying to believe her good intentions but at the same time, he understood how volatile hope was and how far he would fall if this would turn out to be a ruse. Building a bridge over to him was strenuous, but Hermione would do it. She just needed to convince him enough to meet her halfway.

"You misunderstand. We're helping each other," she clarified. "I'm hoping we can put our differences aside for a while, establish an alliance and build a better outcome for all of us. Together, we can devise a plan and…"

"An alliance?" Draco laughed, pointing out the word that sounded most ridiculous. "Potter won't like this. He will never accept my help."

"He won't have a choice. I'll find a way to get us all to cooperate but I need to know you're willing. Because just as you can't fully trust me neither can I fully trust you but I…need to," Hermione emphasized, herself coming to terms with her decision. "I'm putting my neck on the line here and I am hoping that this is not the future you want either. Nor are you that compliant with Voldemort's way of life. He needs to be stopped. Sooner than later."

"You say that as if it's readily achievable. He is horrible, Granger, I doubt you understand to what extent. If he finds out about this, he will kill us all in the blink of an eye. You might not fear him, though I must say, that's rather unwise. As for me, I am shamefully frightened, and that fear extends far beyond just myself. He has me in the palm of his hand. And he chose me to do this, to prove myself!"

"And you'll prove yourself by becoming a murderer?!" Hermione raised her tone, failing to understand why he was so blind. Agitated beyond measure, she stood up to her feet, prompting Draco to do the same. He towered over her, his entire body language boiling with suppressed vexation. She heard him draw fuller breaths as if arming himself with patience.

"You don't get it, do you? If I oppose him, he will terminate not only myself but my family as well. I don't have a say in the matter," Draco pointed out things Hermione already knew but was too stubborn to let him hide behind.

"Oh, really? So your solution is to live as a coward all your life, Draco? Let that monster control you? Is that really all there is to the Malfoy name? You keep throwing it around in conversation, I guess I must have thought there's an actual spine behind all that talk!"

"That has nothing to do with it! Can't you see I am different from you? I'm not a righteous Gryffindor nor suffer from a moronic sacrifice syndrome like you lot do …I live in darkness, in blood-purity, menace, and control. These are the values my family is built upon. Do you think I can betray the very thing I am? Supremacy is running through my veins. This is what I've been fed since the moment I was born."

"If that's so, then why are you still hungry?" Hermione challenged, rendering Draco suddenly silent. "Why are you always levitating between two worlds? Why is it you want so desperately to belong yet still fail at finding your place? You know what I think, Draco? I think you are caught between duty and personal desire and while your mind keeps repeating the same mantra you've inherited from obsolete generations before you, your heart knows how wrong it is. You don't want to be this person, especially when you understand how empty and alone it's going to make you in the end."

How liberating it felt, releasing the hold on her lips, saying all the things she never got to say to him, nor think about before, as her priorities had always been to protect Harry and disregard anyone else who disturbed that reality. Hermione figured no one had spoken to Draco as directly and as painfully raw as she just did and it showed, judging by his haunted expression. She was done treating him like a brat. No, men like Draco needed to grow up already. They needed to learn what was at stake and how to achieve independence even if that meant a wakeup call from his least favorite witch. For once, he was rendered speechless and while that should have gratified Hermione, instead, it saddened her to see him so disconnected and yet terribly tied to the world that caused her and others so much harm.

"Feel free to laugh at me but I know there's good in you, I've witnessed it. I've seen it stem from your mother and materialize in your later decisions. Your help would be monumental to us and it would spare you and your family so much pain because I can assure you, regardless of whether Voldemort wins or loses, you won't like what's coming for your family."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, contemplating her words and opened them to look out the window, purposefully avoiding her gaze. Hermione had been prepared for anything apart from his next words.

"Is that why you kissed me, Granger? To get close to me, convince me to help you?"

"No, I…" She trailed off, unable to formulate a proper reply. Hermione herself didn't understand why she kissed him. She was not one to follow impulse, especially when it came to something so personal but somehow she did and it had felt right despite being wrong and she would not allow herself to tell him that. It would complicate matters tremendously, mainly because the idea of getting close to him had looked completely different in her head. Hermione never thought it would get this far.

"I have to think about this," Draco interrupted her chain of thoughts. "Before I make any decisions, that is."

"Draco, I can't let you leave before you tell me your answer," she said, head raised at him, searching his eyes for anything that would reassure her.

"Relax, Granger. I won't disclose our little secret, I'm not an imbecile. Nothing good will come out of me running back to the Dark Lord, telling him what I know - not in the long run at least, I can fully comprehend that."

"Then…?" she tried.

He finally regarded her for a long moment before he replied, voice calm and steady.

"I'm willing to call a momentary truce, that's all I can promise for now. As for the rest, I need to consider everything you've said, I have to let it digest for a while."

Hermione pressed her lips in worry but responded appropriately nonetheless. "I understand."

"No you don't," he allowed himself a faint smile. "Nor do you have a choice in the matter, do you?"

I suppose I don't, she agreed internally, wishing she could read his mind, peek behind that curtain of melancholic stillness.

"I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk again. In the meantime, please keep your distance and stop… confusing me," he said cryptically.

What exactly did he mean by that? Hermione mused, helplessly watching him depart, descending the stairs rhythmically, feeding her quickening pulse with his receding footsteps. She felt exhausted, more so than after a full night of studying, her muscles trembling ever so slightly. She had stood up to Draco Malfoy. Had confronted him and challenged him to change his views. Moreover, she had offered him another way, and in return, a truce was promised. Hermione couldn't understand why but for the first time in weeks, her heart was bursting with something hopeful and wonderful.

OOO

Nestled high in one of Hogwarts' towers, the Gryffindor common room was bustling with laughter and animated conversations about classes, Quidditch and upcoming events in the school curriculum. Every time Hermione returned to the Gryffindors' headquarters, she couldn't help but feel a sense of peace, as if she was entering a sanctuary. She basked into the room's cozy feel, letting the warmth of the grand fireplace wash away her anxiety.

She spotted Ginny in deep conversation with Neville near one of the windows, which gave Hermione the perfect opportunity to initiate a private conversation with her friends. At the far end of the room, Ron had just swished his wand at one of the wizard chess tables indicating that both he and Harry were prepared to start another round when Hermione approached them cautiously.

"Care to join us, Hermione? Ron's been winning every round for the past hour and I doubt I'll be getting better anytime soon," Harry said, flashing his trademark bright smile.

"Sorry, mate, you said not to go easy on you," Ron smirked, awfully proud of him. To this day, he was still invincible at wizard chess.

"Maybe another time," Hermione said, sounding somewhat worried.

"Everything alright?" Harry asked, having picked on her discomfort. Whenever she had something on her mind, Hermione always looked out of place.

"Not exactly," she confirmed Harry's suspicion. "Can we talk? I'd like to tell both of you something very important. Think you can spare me some time?"

"Of course," Harry exchanged questioning looks with Ron.

"Let's go to our room, it's pretty private right now. Seamus and Dean are off somewhere and as for Neville, we can just tell him to keep my sister entertained for a while," Ron offered, already getting up and leading the way to the boy's bedroom.

Hermione nodded and followed them inside, taking a seat on Ron's bed. The boys sat opposite her on Harry's bed, their attention fully devoted to their female friend.

"Hermione," Harry gently nudged. "What happened?"

Summoning all the courage in her heart, Hermione took a deep breath, locked eyes with her best friends and began telling them everything.

OOO

Author's note: Hello and thank you for reading, this chapter was a difficult one to write and plan but I hope you like it. Leave a comment and let me know, your support means the world to me. See you next time!