A/N: I'm done with meta stuff. Let's just move on already.

Coincidentally, or more likely not, I have begun editing my book. It was involuntary. I didn't plan to start editing until after the holidays, but some part of my mind decided "No, we're returning to serious hopefully-publishable craftsmanship NOW." Wishy-washy, writing just for the heck of it and not really trying to be good at it, amateurish playtime is over. For now.

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Hidan

Hidan and Nagato arrived home around 10, happy and carefree. They didn't expect Original Nagato to swoop down from the roof and attempt to interrogate them, and they weren't happy about it. "I haven't felt shit since that meeting earlier, and he hasn't either," Hidan snapped. "Now go away. We're having a good night." Clone Nagato backed him up with a stern glare. Original Nagato's face didn't change, but Hidan's heart started to race and his skin prickled as if being watched. He followed with his eyes as the original disappeared onto the rooftop. He's frightened? What could scare one of them?

He tried his best not to think of it, but he couldn't rest in his room. Fuck. Whatever it is spooked other people, too. Hidan sat up, yawned, and dressed warmly with both a shirt and his cloak. He tossed his scythe out the window before climbing after it. This is part of why I never lived in a house before. Other people just do not let me get any fucking rest. It's easier to sleep in the woods. However, once he got out there, it turned out that he'd gotten used to having other people around. Like a forest shielding its trees from the wind, the presence of multiple other people cushioned his mind. It was like a weighted blanket. Without it, he tossed and turned. He had to deliberately employ a focusing technique that he hadn't needed for several years. He tried not to fall asleep grumpy, but it was hard.

In the morning, he woke up feeling light as a feather. The light touched his eyelids and turned on one of the most primitive parts of his brain, as it should. The moment he opened his eyes, he already felt alert. The cool air had refreshed him and rendered him warm enough to comfortably sleep, but cool enough to not comfortably be awake. He had a natural urge to get to his feet so that light exercise would warm him. It was all very natural, very easy, totally unforced. No shoulds or should-nots, no worry or guilt. Everything was one hundred percent right. He stretched, and it felt good.

He found the other clones trying their hardest to have a good day, too. Yahiko was cooking pancakes for everyone. Nagato mixed up a new batch of batter, Deidara and Sasori ate pancakes, and everyone else chatted about the most inane things they could think of. Any mention of an important topic was quickly broken off and the subject changed. Konan was not present. Obito and Zetsu also were not. The dolls were. They stood or sat still, seemingly just enjoying the friendly atmosphere.

Hidan tried to stay out of Nagato's sight, at least for the moment. He waited for Kakuzu to finish describing an actual physical barn that he had worked in once (which Itachi reacted to just as he would have to Kakuzu riding a dragon), then elbowed the older man gently in the ribs. "Am I allowed to ask about something important, but like, super quickly? Just a throwaway description."

"Alright," Kakuzu replied.

"I felt Original Nagato being super spooked last night. What's up with that?"

"The focus is acting strangely. Our world might be falling apart."

"Doesn't seem like it to me," Hidan chirped. Nagato noticed him. He waved. The redhead ducked his head and blushed.

"How was your date?" Itachi asked.

"It was…" Hidan sighed lovingly. "Great. It was so fucking great."

"Do you wish for the originals to know?"

"Other Me knows, but I doubt he's mentioned a word to the rest of them." Hidan clicked his tongue. "Considering, you know, how they are… I'd rather not say it just yet."

Kisame came over with a fresh plate of pancakes. "Hidan, do you want the next plate of pancakes? Also, I couldn't help overhearing. Tammy wants me to try to set them up. She's really insistent on it. What do I do?"

"Absolutely fucking nothing because this is my department," Hidan replied with a smirk. "And fuck yes, I want pancakes."

"Hey Hidan, good news," Yahiko said. He had just flipped over the pancakes. They would be done in less than two minutes. "Solis really likes Other Nagato. I think if Other Nagato would give him a chance, they could be best friends."

Hidan found the doll in question looking down on the gathering from atop a high cabinet. He had intended to high-one the doll, but settled for saluting. "Good taste!"

"Here ya go," Yahiko said, taking a plate from Deidara and putting the pancakes on it. "The stuff's over there." Hidan drooled at the sight of four different jellies plus maple syrup and butter. He ended up carefully separating his three pancakes and doing them all differently. He spread the first with butter and raspberry preserves, the second with marmalade, and the third with butter and syrup. The syrup flowed wild and mixed with the marmalade, but he didn't mind. The result was actually kind of interesting.

"Guuuyyysss," Yahiko called. "After this next batch, every clone will have had some. Someone find the originals and invite them down. Nobody gets seconds until they've decided if they want any."

"I'll go," Hidan volunteered. "Oi, Solis, get down here. I'm taking you to your friend." Solis sat on the edge of the high cabinet, flailed his arms for confidence, then leaned forward and toppled off. His fall stopped midair, of course. He landed gently in Hidan's arms, on his back like a baby. Hidan cradled him. "Gootchy gootchy goo."

All three originals plus Konan were holding a meeting in their room. Hidan cursed the alarm seal on the stairway; if not for its alert, he might've had a chance to overhear what they were talking about. As it was, he found them all facing the doorway waiting for him. He put Solis down and leaned against the inner frame. "Yahiko's busy stabilizing our world with friendship and good vibes. I recommend you join in. And no, I'm not kidding or exaggerating. I seriously think that good vibes are what hold us together, so do not discourage them and do participate if you value your life. He's making pancakes in the kitchen. We're all waiting for ya." Hidan turned and left before they could say anything. He wanted them firmly under Yahiko's influence before he got too close.

The gathering in the kitchen had gone quiet. "How did they respond?" Yahiko asked hopefully. Nagato's new bowl of batter was half gone and a finished plate of pancakes sat cooling next to the spreads. Everyone not-so-subtly leaned in to hear the answer. Samehada lolled her tongue out.

"Don't know, don't care," Hidan replied. "They'll be here either way. But I got a question. Where's our five-in-two?"

Several seconds passed before anyone realized what he meant. "Zetsu took the other guy out for a separate breakfast," Kakuzu answered. "They're still upset about last night."

"Somebody add those fuckers to the group chat," Hidan declared. "We need a way to tell them when we're cool and when we're not."

"They don't have phones," Yahiko said sadly. "I wanted to send Tobi some funny memes, but I could only show them to him from my phone."

Hidan bared his teeth. "Somebody train a fucking bird to fly messages to them, then. Real-time alerts. We need those."

"Is there a specific reason why?" Konan asked. The originals were right behind her. Original Hidan's ears perked straight up. He snatched the cooled plate of pancakes without waiting for permission, tasted one plain, made a face, sniffed the spreads and made a face at each of them too, and ended up putting salt on his pancakes.

The clones were distracted by this, so they didn't answer immediately. "Fucking seriously?" Hidan muttered. Doofus, she asked a question! Louder, he said, "Turns out Zetsu and that other guy don't have phones. We have no way to tell them if we're chill or not. Can you believe that shit?"

"How important are Zetsu and the masked man to your operations?" Original Nagato asked. He waited for new pancakes to be made while Original Yahiko took a plate and gamely sampled the jellies. Solis stood at his feet, being ignored.

"Very, considering they're five entire people," Hidan snapped. "And what the fuck did I say?!"

Konan picked up Solis and placed him in Original Nagato's hands. "Not only that, but they are special. They joined the story much later than everyone else. This gives them unique attributes no other group member possesses."

"Uh, guys?" Deidara asked hesitantly. "I thought we were trying to avoid anything too important?"

"Clone Hidan, check for the focus," Original Nagato ordered. He picked up Solis and looked into the doll's face, signaling that his cooperation with Hidan's demands depended on Hidan doing likewise.

Hidan huffed. "I'm surrounded by too many people. I'm not gonna feel shit."

"It's probably here, but super weak," his original reported.

"We can't avoid important things forever," Yahiko said. "Being able to send funny memes to them is really important to me. We should get them phones, like we did for Konan."

"We need an intermediary," Itachi said. "Perhaps we can borrow a trained wolf from the Hatakes to carry a message?"

"Nah." They looked up to find the demon boy lying on the high cabinets. "This sounds like an annoying obstacle. I hate those."

"Will you carry messages?" Itachi asked.

"No, but my friend can." The demon boy disappeared.

Yahiko put the spatula down so he could facepalm. "His friend is a toddler, same size but less travel ability than the dolls. Why didn't we think to have the dolls do it?"

"Warlic, don't touch the bowl!" Nagato yelped. "Oh, no. Your hands'll have to be washed, and you're made of cloth."

Hidan clicked his tongue. "It's a lesson."

"I guess." Nagato carried Warlic over to the sink. "Solis, Manta, Little One. Pay attention. If you touch something sticky, this is what we'll have to do." He turned the water on and stuck Warlic's left arm under it. Warlic flailed his other arm and tried to escape, but Nagato held him still until the batter was washed off. He repeated this process for Warlic's other hand. Warlic flailed his arms and jumped up and down in a frenzy of anger when it was done. The other dolls acted upset. The lesson was learned.

Yahiko finished the last of the pancakes, which were cooling on plates since everyone was too distracted to eat. He moved the frying pan, picked up Warlic and showed the doll how to hold his hands over the hot burner so they'd dry faster. Meanwhile, Samehada calmed down Little One and Manta, and Konan subtly reminded Original Nagato to do the same for Solis. When Warlic was settled, the other three dolls were gathered together so Yahiko could address them all at once. "Guys, we need your help. At least one of you has to take your skateboard into town to look for our friends and bring them a message. Can any of you carry a paper and search for a person and stay on track long enough to do it?"

Manta looked down. Little One looked around at the faces of everyone present. Solis held his arms out. "Solis and Little One? You two can do it as a team?" Yahiko guessed. Solis stepped forward and booped his nose. "Okay."

"This would work a lot better if we had the slightest clue where those guys were," Kisame pointed out.

"That's why they should be a team," Yahiko said with a grin. "Little One likes having exact standards. He has the focus to stay on task for as long as it takes, but he'd be too upset to go anywhere. He wouldn't know where to begin. Solis can lead the adventure and keep him calm."

"Who knows how long it'll take them to find the others?" Kakuzu asked. "By that time, we could be in another crisis."

"Leave it to me. I'll draft the message," Yahiko said. "Anyway. There are pancakes that need eating."

Pancakes were eaten. Original Yahiko recommended the fruit spreads, but admitted they were a little too sweet for his tastes. Konan agreed that food in this new world was different from what they were used to. Itachi left for his Saturday appointment at the haunted hospital. Kisame and Samehada left to hang out together, since their presence didn't seem to be useful. Deidara and Sasori followed their lead, while Kakuzu stayed just in case something important happened. Yahiko put a lot of thought into writing his message; it took five minutes for him to compose the first sentence. Hidan and Nagato glanced at each other and smiled just a little, then tried to avoid glancing at each other again. Surely Original Hidan's sudden entrance into the food conversation directly afterward was completely coincidental. Hidan and Nagato left then to avoid giving anything away. Kakuzu followed them out but went in a different direction, giving them privacy.

"Your original's kind of adorable when he's around mine," Nagato said.

"Adorable to us, maybe," Hidan replied. "I gotta have a talk with him. Give him some brotherly advice."

"It feels kind of strange to be going back into the closet. Even if it's only a little bit. Even though I've only spent weeks out of it. How is that possible?"

"Denying nature always feels strange even if you've learned to ignore that feeling. Acting natural always feels right even if you've never done it before." Hidan slung an arm around his shoulders. "C'mon. Let's listen to some music."

Original Nagato

What. The. Approximate. Hell.

He'd never seen this degree of mood whiplash before. His entire previous life had been somber. Optimistic somber, humorous somber, depressing somber, violent somber: there were variations, but nonetheless, he was used to his life being consistently along the same theme. Now despite all of his efforts, he couldn't find consistency anywhere. So far he'd seen periods that were optimistic and serious, depressed and serious, violently serious, lightheartedly serious and seriously lighthearted? How are these combinations even possible? And how can the clones go from fearing for their existence one night to celebrating friendship the next morning? He tried his best to stay in the food conversation. He really did. But he couldn't stop himself from withdrawing.

Yahiko and Konan seemed, somehow, able to cope with the change. They kept the conversation going easily. Nagato got so busy wondering how they did it that he overlooked Hidan. He flinched when Hidan spoke to him. "Whazzit?"

"Excuse me?"

Hidan flicked his tail. "You know I'm not actually interested in salad recipes. What're you thinking about?"

"My thoughts are not your concern."

"They're the most interesting things around and I'm bored."

Why does he persistently pester me? Nagato fought to remain civil. "I was wondering how the clones can change their minds so easily. They seem to have entirely forgotten that their existence is in jeopardy."

"They haven't," Hidan said with a shrug. "Why bother fretting about shit you can't change?"

"Is that what you think this is? A mission that is not meant to be completed, but rather assigned to us just to tie up our time and energy?"

Hidan glared. "What I meant to say is, why bother fretting about shit that fretting can't change? Other Sunbeam - Sunshine - actually fucking changed things and made plans. What are you doing? I don't see you changing shit."

Criticizing my leadership. Of course. "It may not be your preferred style, but someone has to keep in mind the larger picture."

"What if the larger picture's shitty? Why would you wanna keep that?"

Nagato sighed. "That is not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Hidan retorted. "I'm not stupid. You don't know what I meant."

Why does he have to test me at every turn? I know he doesn't have any interest in leadership positions. Why, then, does he challenge mine? "I would believe that from your clone, but you have no special powers. Exercise patience. You will understand my methods in time."

"I think he's right though," Clone Yahiko said.

Nagato realized that the others had stopped conversing. He hoped they had not heard the entirety of Hidan's pestering. He'd failed to put his foot down fast enough or firmly enough, so now he looked weak. I must be more stern from now on. "Do you?"

"Yeah, that's what I just said," the clone mumbled, looking confused. Dammit. I forgot that they don't understand subtle signals. "I mean, thinking about something is a way of mentally holding it, keeping it close to you. Not thinking about something means letting it go. People don't have thousands of hands, so, so, there's like only so much you can hold onto. You can't afford to hold onto too many sad things because then you'll have to drop happy things, and happy things shouldn't get dropped and roll into corners and become all dusty and forgotten. That's what I believe."

"You gonna keep in mind the big shitty picture, or you gonna change it into a better one? You can't do both," Hidan joined in. "In order to remember, you have to stop acting. Don't stop acting. We're here for nothing but action."

Nagato's fists clenched. He raced to think of a response that would defend his position from this cruel attack. Before he could, Konan called out, "Hidan. This version of Yahiko is drafting an important message, remember? Do not distract him." She beckoned for Nagato to follow her out of the room.

Nagato smiled. Protecting me without appearing to protect me. That's the Konan I've always known. "This world is a bad influence on him."

Konan stopped and laid a hand on the lobby desk. "Not quite. It emboldens him, yes. But he has reason to be bold. We are at last in a setting where his methods work." She glanced at Nagato. "He is more similar to the clones than he is to us. Please try to interpret his actions as if they were being performed by a clone."

She is not protecting me? She pulled me away in order to protect him? Nagato's heart ached. That was not the Konan he knew. "He is not a clone."

"Please pretend," Konan urged.

"It is a long time since I was a child."

Konan closed her eyes. She did that in moments of great sadness. "Please. For my sake."

How could Nagato ignore such a plea? What am I doing? I am being selfish, criticizing her when she is only trying to help. He closed his eyes and envisioned Clone Hidan saying the things Original Hidan had said. No, too similar. Deidara. Ah, yes. This works better. He imagined Clone Deidara saying what Hidan had said, as close to the original wording as he could manage. He stiffened in surprise. Clone Deidara would be trying to help me. That would be his way of pushing me out of a worry spiral and into useful action.

He opened his eyes to see Konan smiling. "Hidan is not hostile to you," she said. "I'm starting to think he never has been. Perhaps he was always speaking as if he was from another world." She ducked her head and turned away, gliding out of the room like a living shadow, leaving Nagato with a lot to think about.

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A/N: Technically there's gonna be another chapter before then, but I'll say it now anyway. Merry Christmas!