Chapter III
Dark.
Cold.
Weightless.
Issei's mind told him he was floating through the vacuum of space.
His body, such as it was, was simply experiencing an overwhelming sense of tiredness keeping him still. So he drifted through the currents without the strength to so much as open his eyes; giving the boy time for his mind to slowly but surely claw its way back to a firmer consciousness.
Ever so slowly providing the answers to what happened.
He was dead.
Well, pretty sure he was dead after what happened.
The chase all over the ship, Dusa-chan's rampage, his last ditch effort that somehow managed to catch her in the best possible spot. And then the conversation they had as both lay bleeding out. If this was something he was reading about and not living through, Issei would have called it a nice death, a good way to send them off and take down the bad guy.
It sounded heroic.
But this wasn't a game. It wasn't a movie, or even a comic.
This was reality.
And the reality of it was that Issei failed. In the end, there was no other way he could describe what happened on that ship. No other way he could describe it than a horrible tragedy that came for them all, killing almost everything and leaving only him and a couple others behind.
Ultimately, he supposed, not even him.
'It was a bad plan, really. I hope Joan and the others are found quickly.'
If that had really been the real Dusa-chan, she'd have turned into stone at the sight of her own face and everyone else would have been freed. It was at least one of the possible endings he recalled.
But it didn't work.
And now he was dead.
'And I can't even see mom and dad.' Talk about disappointment. Issei forced a laugh, but it was weak, warbling, even in his own mind.
One way or another he was hoping he might have been able to be with them again.
That Shidou guy always went on and on about how God watched over and cared about everyone equally, that there was a place for… good people. Mom and Dad were good people. Sure, they yelled at him sometimes, and it hurt when they chewed him out for his desires. But they cared!
'I promise, God, they care. They want what's best for me!'
There was no voice, his mouth, if it even really existed, could make no sound. And yet his heart ached with the need to cry out. To swear that it was all true!
A moment or two later, chest aching - differently to… before - he calmed and stilled.
Deep down, Issei figured that if Shidou was right, He could overlook all the illegal downloads he made for his games.
That would sure be a stupid way to get kicked out of heaven.
Unfortunately the joke failed to make the aching in his chest any better. His body now just felt numb aside from that terrible, bitter sting of failure.
'No.'
A pinprick formed.
'Wait.'
There was something else there.
A feeling of something hot spiraling out from where his heart should be and a strange sense of awareness speaking from… the center of himself. Trying to grasp the confusing sensations, Issei felt himself being pulled, almost dragged out from where he was; like a fish on a hook, a rush of movement bringing him back to the waking world with a start.
He blinked, slowly.
'Light?'
There was light shining onto him from above. It felt warm, strange. His skin tingled, something prickling him through the back of his shirt and pants.
'It smells like grass.' Fingers twitching, the sensation of the ground beneath Issei spread through his body as the numb feeling was driven back and life flowed back into his limbs. Tired as they felt. Painful as they felt. At least he felt like he was alive again.
There was also… something soft?
Like a pillow, something was holding his head above ground, the scent of flowers stirring Issei as he blinked the fuzziness away.
Only to realize it wasn't just a pillow.
But a lap pillow.
"Oh, welcome back sleepyhead. And here I was wondering when you were going to wake up."
Looming over him was… a girl. A really cute girl. With dark pink hair split into long flowing pigtails and with eyes of the most vibrant shade of green Issei had ever seen, sparkling with mirth as she smiled down at him. Her ears were longer than normal, and pointy like an elve's, and she wore what looked like a dress with a similar color to her hair.
Issei couldn't help it.
He gawked.
While the clear lack of oppai left something to be desired, there was just something in the way she looked at him that made his cheeks color and his stomach do flips.
"Aren't you the charmer." He felt slight fingers run through his hair, lightly ruffling it with a giggle.
He said that outloud?!
"No, no. Sorry about that. Really, our thoughts and words can mingle in this place. It's actually pretty hard to hold a conversation when you're hungry or when you're trying to remember the punch line to a joke. Believe me, I tried."
Issei blinked.
He was just so confused.
"Where is this?" From that empty darkness to a fuzzy sunny plain, he was having a hard time adjusting to the whiplash. And more importantly, he couldn't help but wonder if this was the afterlife, and if it was… why did he feel sore all over.
"That's because this isn't the afterlife. It's not the living world, either, but if you're feeling pain then it's proof that you're alive, no?"
Maybe?
He never thought about it like that. But if Issei was alive and this wasn't the afterlife… then… what was happening? Was this some kind of dream?
"After a fashion, yes. Really, It has been a while since I've had a guest like this. The last one must have been… around a decade ago? Wow, that was actually pretty fast. After Annie and Doni, I figured it would have taken longer for the next one to show up."
Annie? Doni?
Were those people?
Well, it wasn't like he recognized those, but there was one part that Issei understood. That this was some kind of dream. Really, being comforted in a dream by a cute girl wasn't that bad. Truthfully, this setup was exactly the same as 'Blessings be Upon this Marvelous World'.
"Are you here to send me to another world?"
With how his luck was turning out, that was a completely logical expectation.
The pink haired girl giggled, as if reading his thoughts.
"Nothing like that. Really, if anything I am here to send you back. To congratulate you on your great achievement too. It's not often that a human can survive a Heretic God for nearly a week, fight back, and somehow come out on top. That's a miracle if I have ever seen one!"
Miracle? Heretic God?
He really was lost.
"Sorry, sorry! Let me start again from the top. My name is Pandora."
Issei frowned.
He heard that name somewhere before. He knew he had, but couldn't for the life of him recall where he had. It was on the tip of his tongue.
"So you're not here to send me to another world?"
"You keep asking that. Do you want to be sent to another world?"
Did he? Yes. An adventure in another world was every teenage boy's dream. But the entire meeting was kinda going against his expectations. Then again, maybe that well was poisoned by all the games and anime he consumed about that kind of story. Really, just the confirmation that he was somehow still alive took a massive weight off his chest.
While crushing him with guilt.
"Are you okay?"
Right, right. His thoughts were leaking.
"Well, I guess? Knowing that I'm alive is nice and all… don't get me wrong! I'm really glad for the help!"
"Buuuut?"
Issei grimaced, turning to look away.
"I was just… thinking about my parents. Everyone on that ship, really." Maybe it hadn't been his responsibility to stop what happened, but the fact that he couldn't find a way to bring them back made an ugly, cold feeling surge through his chest; thoughts whispering all the ways he could have done things differently. All the ways he could have saved them, no matter how impossible that task might be.
Pandora had claimed he'd managed one miracle, after all, why not a second?
"I don't think you need to worry about that, actually."
He blinked, confused, a scared hope surging almost as intensely as the guilt had.
"What?" Thoughts pressed together with the word, not so much an active attempt at communication as a push and wash of desires, fears, and needs.
Pandora smiled warmly, hand pressing softly against his cheek to dry the fresh tracks of tears.
"I don't know exactly what you were saying to each other, but whatever you did certainly left a mark on Medusa. Normally, there wouldn't be a way to bring someone back from being turned to stone by her unless she willingly does it. I only know that before she vanished, she completely withdrew her powers."
T-Then… that meant…
The pink haired girl nodded, as if reading his thoughts.
"Your feelings, your honesty, most certainly found their mark."
Issei didn't know what happened next. One moment, he was laying on the mysterious girl's lap, and on the next he was on his knees, arms thrown around her as the teen pulled her into a hug, the tightest hug he remembered ever giving someone. As if a weight had been pulled off his chest, Issei was embarrassed to admit that he probably left a few tear stains on her shoulder as he tried to process the earth shattering relief.
They were okay?
He hadn't… failed?
Though the girl's words felt too good to be truth, Issei found he couldn't doubt her. As if deep down, part of him realized this girl, whoever she was, would never lie to him.
"There there… let it all out."
He felt her hand draw circles on the middle of his back. The gentle voice soothing him.
"You must have had such a hard time. I might not have seen all of it, but I know enough to tell that you, Issei Hyoudou, are a fool. A courageous, kind hearted fool who somehow brought about an unprecedented miracle. A child worthy of a witch." What should have been harsh words were instead spoken with a fondness and love that made him feel warm inside.
Words he'd never thought he wanted to hear.
Something precious that could only be said once.
"Yes… you will do just fine."
Issei was paying attention, at least a little, and this time her words were heavier. There was more to them. At least, more that he noticed.
"Oh child of the Earth, born again on the seas, and beloved by the Serpent, I take you as my child. Campione, sword and shield and champion of all Mankind. Know that you are the beloved of the Evil Goddess Pandora, bane of all the Heavens."
Issei decided then and there that if he ever got sent to another world, he would ask to take her with him.
There was a soft giggle before a pair of soft lips touched his forehead.
"Silly boy. Don't you know any better than chasing a married lady."
Wait, what did she say?
Before Issei could voice his thoughts, the world grew dim once more and just as he'd been yanked from the darkness, the young boy once again found himself dragged away.
This time… into the light.
Issei woke up confused.
'Another weird dream, huh?' Rubbing the sand out of his eyes, the teenage boy pulled himself upright, yawning as the urge to lay back down for another half an hour made itself known. The covers were warm, and the pillows bundled together just the way he liked.
Even if he'd been having strange dreams lately.
The sort that seemed so vivid that it was almost like he was there, only for him to wake up and completely forget what happened the night before. Though Issei was pretty sure that they involved getting a lap pillow from a cute girl.
'I always make sure to remember the most important details, though I think she was… kind? Well, either way, I certainly wouldn't mind having that dream for another twenty minutes.'
But, unfortunately, he couldn't.
"Because today is the day!"
"No yelling!" His mother called out, a bit of an edge to her tone informing the teenager his parents knew exactly why he was so happy.
After all, today was the day!
The day all his dreams would come true!
The day he started in Kuoh Academy!
How could he not be at his best? To make the best impression possible, and not miss a single second of the experience, Issei was willing to part with an extra hour of sleep to make sure he was showered, dressed, and early to the first class of the year.
Oh, he could hardly wait.
'The girl's uniform… I wonder what they look like now?'
Were the skirts short? Did they still wear those little capes over their shoulders? There was always something magical about the way girls looked when he passed them by the street. And somehow there was always a small change to spice things up from one year to the next.
Maybe this year it would be Sailor Fuku?
To honor the ol' reliable?
"A pity no one wears spats anymore."
He would offer a prayer later for the deceased tradition.
"Oh well!"
His moment of silence truly was momentary. And, ten minutes later, he was applying his deodorant and tugging on his undershirt at the same time - unwilling to waste any energy fooling around with the uniform's buttons.
"My, my, someone's eager and ready for school today."
Nodding, Issei accepted his mother's praise.
"Yes! I showered twice, have all my bags packed, and I'm ready to feast, uh, um, I mean greet my classmates?"
His father, sipping on a warm coffee and reviewing the morning's news on his phone, simply sat his cup down and pinned him in place with a stair.
"Issei. Girls your age care that you are polite and do not harass them. That is the first step to making friends." The teenager felt his cheeks color and he tried not to gripe. "So try to keep your desires to yourself. At least for today?"
"Ah… yes sir."
It really did feel unfair. Even after everything, though it seemed like only he remembered Dusa-chan, he still didn't get much in the way of trust.
'Though, why would I get any trust if they don't know what happened? And someone definitely made everyone just accept what happened. There wasn't even a comment in the papers about all the damage to the ship….' Even though a month had already passed since they had come back to Japan, the incident at the ship was all but forgotten.
A freak gas leak, everyone called it, explaining that a short circuit led to the ship being flooded with gas that knocked out everyone inside. Disaster was only averted due to the quick action of the captain in setting up automatic controls to prevent a collision.
In the end, nobody got hurt, so the incident was quickly forgotten. The whole thing stunk of a cover up, the sort that happened in spy movies all the time, and made his fingers itch. But before he could start brooding, his mom gently set a full plate down in front of him.
"Eat up. You've got a big day ahead of you and I know it'll go well. And that you won't peep on anyone."
Issei didn't pout.
Nope, he wasn't pouting at all.
'Really, I save a whole ship and I don't get so much as a medal for it.' Though he did get a handshake from the mayor and the ship's captain for looking after the kids, who told their parents a wild tale about being chased by giant snakes in the hallways while Issei led them to safety.
It was dismissed as hallucinations brought about by the gas, while he was credited with leading the children to safety and ensuring nothing went amiss while their parents were injured.
He didn't really care about not being recognized for what he'd done. Learning that they managed to escape and survive… somehow made it all worth it. Even the older kids had hugged him goodbye and, well, he felt a sense of accomplishment that banished any lingering disappointment.
"Ise?"
He shook his head.
"Sorry, was thinking."
His mother, very much alive and not made of marble, frowned in concern.
"Are you sure you didn't forget anything? Your books? Your lunch money? Your bus pass?"
Issei nodded, pawing at his pockets.
Oh… he'd nearly forgotten his pass.
"Nice catch, I'll be right back!"
Putting a bit of speed into it, the young man jogged back to his room and, pulling open his desk, he hesitated.
On his shelf, there was a small space he'd cleared off.
Only two figurines were standing on it.
One… was the girl he dreamed about.
But the other was Dusa-Chan.
"Ah. Not quite right."
Reaching out a single finger, there was a snap, a pop, a crack - but not from the statuette. Instead, the stone of her ears became liquid, twisting and elongating and adjusting her ears just so. And only once he was satisfied that the curve of her blue scales was… more accurate, not perfect, never perfect, did he actually grab his bus pass.
"At least her smile is a little happier."
That was important. Unfortunately, Issei was still way too inexperienced to completely get her right. No matter how many times he tried, or how often he carved the figurine from scratch, there was always something missing. Something that didn't feel right when he looked at her.
"Ready to go, son?"
"Yes, Dad."
A one armed hug, a quick kiss to the top of his head.
"Ready for your first day?"
"Yes, Mom."
A full hug, this time, and another kiss to the same spot on top of his head. Okay, so maybe Issei was being clingy, whereas before he might have been embarrassed or annoyed at how his parents babied him at times, the past month saw him spend as much time as he could around them.
Trying to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming and wouldn't wake up to a pair of statues one morning.
They were safe. They were okay.
Had he somehow managed to free them when he stabbed Dusa-chan? Or, maybe… she decided to help after they had that conversation? Even now he could barely remember what he said, dying as he was. That he somehow survived, and everyone managed to leave that ship safe… he couldn't help but wonder if she did it because of him.
Really, Issei probably would have considered the entire thing the fruit of his imagination.
'If not for one little thing.'
Sneaking his hand into his back pocket, the very much empty pocket, Issei pulled out a small lump of stone vaguely shaped like a doll. Its edges were rough and he could barely make out where the head was. Really, it was closer to a misshapen pebble than anything.
But it was proof, the definite proof that what happened wasn't just a dream.
'You don't get magic powers from a dream.'
That much he was sure of.
But maybe this was a sign of good things to come. New school. New year. New chances to feast his eyes on the best Oppai the country had to offer.
'Goodbye everyday life, hello Oppai Academia!'
One Hour Later
Kuoh turned out to be more boring than Issei hoped.
Oh, don't get him wrong. The school was awesome.
Newly refurbished buildings, top of the line equipment. Not a speck of dust or stain to be seen. It was worth every single moment he spent studying. Even the auditorium didn't smell like baby powder and detergent.
Which made it easier to sit still as the principal droned on and on with the welcome speech.
'Guess we can't escape the boring stuff even here, huh?'
For a supposed top ranked school in the country, there wasn't exactly much to set it apart from the usual outside of the fancy buildings and the stylish uniforms. The morning schedule turned out to be exactly the same as the one back in Issei's middle school.
Opening Ceremony.
Teacher introductions.
A bunch of old dudes telling them how lucky they were to be there and what they weren't supposed to be doing… half of which Issei would probably be ignoring by the end of the week anyway.
But he didn't let that discourage him!
This was the paradise he spent an entire year working towards. The reason why he gave up on so many earthly pleasures for so long. Even if all Issei had to show for it were a few sneaking glances, the young man knew in his heart of hearts that the promised time would come sooner or later.
He just had to be patient.
"Incredible… even their teachers are top notch."
"So this is where the fabled attractive older ladies were hiding all along?!"
And of course, joining him in this crusade were his loyal friends. It had been his, Matsuda and Motohama's plan to study their butts off and get into Kuoh for the sake of paradise.
Even now the bespectacled boy adjusted his glasses, thoroughly scanning the staff members while humming in thought. Motohama offered his opinions regarding the Legendary Scanner's findings. And Issei would decide upon their plan of action. Such had always been the nature of their teamwork.
They were more than friends.
They were brothers.
Allies for the cause of Oppai.
"I spot hotties. At 21 o'clock." Motohama, ever dutiful lookout, reported.
There, sitting besides the staff in what was probably meant to be the honor student seating were… some of the most beautiful girls Issei had ever seen. But what struck him first was the sight of actual red hair and beautiful blue eyes combined with a figure that could put hourglasses to shame. How the hell hadn't they noticed her during the assembly?
She wasn't even the only one.
Besides her was a shorter but equally beautiful girl with short black hair and glasses that gave her a sharp look. The cool girl archetype wasn't exactly one of his favorites, but he'd developed a newfound respect for it after all the work he put into his Dusa-chan figurines.
"What's their stats, Matsuda?"
Their legendary scanner tsked, biting his thumb in frustration.
"We are too far away, I can't get a good read on them." Truly, to climb the highest of highs only to be plunged back into despair. It would appear Kuoh wasn't shy about showing off the best it had to offer, and everyone seemed to be of the same opinion as the two girls lounged besides the staff.
One of them the highest scorer of the previous year, the next apparently the brand new student council president. Issei had played enough dating sims to see where this was going. There would be more chances, and Issei was sure they would be seeing those two often.
There was no need to rush.
Eventually, the long winded welcome ceremony ran its course and the students were allowed to go back to their classrooms. Though, much to Issei's disappointment, he'd been singled out from his friends. He'd been halfway through the board looking for his name when he felt Motohama's hand on his shoulder.
"Hey Issei."
"Yeah?"
"Don't look now, but I think that someone is looking at us."
Wait, what? Where?!
"I said don't look!" His friend hissed in his ear.
"Sorry. You sure she ain't looking at the board? You sure it's at us?"
"Positive! Now, act cool! I think she's coming over."
Oh no! Was someone onto them already?!
Running over what he'd done today, the young man considered the totality of his actions. Had he done anything blatant? Had he done anything criminal!?
But, unwilling to let doom creep up on him unsuspectingly, he turned and faced his fate….
"Issei Hyoudou." The girl was short, petite, and wore her silver white hair in a medium length bob, and seemed almost totally impassive. She stared up at him for a moment, eyes peering right through him as if trying to find something, causing the young man to sweat cold in anticipation. "Would you be willing to meet me after school?"
His eyes went wide.
"Yes!" Heart pounding, throat dry, his voice was clear, immediate, and he most certainly didn't squeak. "I mean yeah, sure, I would love to." He backtracked slightly, trying to play it cool, if only because he was about to break down into either crying or dancing.
And he didn't know which yet.
"Excellent. I will see you at the front gate after class. We will continue from there."
Nodding dumbly, he watched silently as the girl walked away, utterly silent despite his friends' attempts to interrogate him about where he knew that girl from, or to spill his secrets.
Issei, however, remained unresponsive.
He was on cloud nine! Ecstatic!
'A date on my first day!' He wanted to whoop for joy, but instead opted to look at the girl who invited him out one last time as she turned the corner, brown eyes meeting dark blue as she disappeared amidst the crowd.
'Could this be… my popular phase?!'
