A/N: Hope you guys enjoy it :)
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The next morning, after Chuck had slept off the high from yesterday, it hit him in the face like a freight train - SARAH WALKER said she LOVES HIM - CHUCK BARTOWSKI! It had finally registered within that cramped brain of his. He knew what a big thing this was for her - to open up, to talk about her feelings, and proclaim something that she herself said she had no prior experience with. That might be the best news he had ever heard.
Yesterday was officially the most complicated day in his life to date. He experienced such heart wrenching pain and witnessed the downward spiral and near collapse of the most important friendship and relationship in his life, only to mend it soon after and elevate it to a status that it has never been at before.
As he got dressed and headed out to the kitchen where the sun's golden rays cast a yellow-orange haze, he wobbled slightly with pent-up excitement, a happy grin crept across his face. Damn! Sarah loves him! It seemed like all his dreams had come true! He poured himself a bowl of cereal. Ellie and Devon were sleeping in after long shifts yesterday. The house was quiet. But the inside of Chuck's head was not. He couldn't get enough of the fact that Sarah Walker loved him! For real! Not as a cover. It was the best feeling in the world.
As he sat there spooning more cereal into his mouth, he realised what a jerk he'd been to the love of his life - not just over the past few days, but in general. He reflected upon his thoughts; throughout the up-down-left-right limbo of his relationship with Sarah, he'd always been much more concerned about his own feelings, rather than considering Sarah's struggles in the situation. He could recognise that. He'd always make a big deal of it when Sarah pushed him back, even going off with a different woman - not once, but twice! To make matters worse, he'd slept with Jill, jumping at her a mere two days after she came back into his life, even after all she did to him! He hadn't, at the time, thought a lot about how that would affect Sarah.
His grin slowly evaporated, as he thought about that, and was replaced by a worried frown. He'd made Sarah cry. That was something he previously only saw her do once, when she thought he died in a car explosion. And this time it was infinitely worse. She'd been sobbing uncontrollably, because she thought he didn't care about her. Wincing, he knew he needed to apologise. A lot. And he needed to make sure Sarah absolutely KNEW how much he cared about her.
He needed to tell her he loved her more than anything ever.
He pulled out his phone, and immediately scrolled to Sarah's contact. He texted her, asking her if she wanted to go out for lunch. He needed to tell her everything face-to-face. He wasn't working at the BuyMore today, so his schedule was mostly clear, assuming he and Sarah weren't called to Castle.
As he cleared the table after himself, he anxiously awaited Sarah's reply to his text.
About ten minutes later, she responded. She said yes!
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4 hours later...
Sarah Walker was getting ready for her date with Chuck. Date? Yes, she considered it to be a date. Chuck had asked her to lunch in the morning, and she'd replied with a very enthusiastic Yes. They agreed to eat at the restaurant where Casey once saved them from certain death on their first "real" date. Hopefully there would be no such interruptions this time.
As she applied her makeup, she thought about just how glad she was that he'd asked her. She was very, very excited to see him, but also a little scared. She'd been very disappointed going to sleep last night - she'd made such an Earth-shattering step forward towards Chuck, sort of telling him she loves him - and he hadn't said it back. At the time, she was overcome with the joy of finally finding the courage to open up, but as she went to bed she'd realised that it really hurt that he didn't respond in turn. She chalked it up to Chuck being exhausted from the days' events. She felt sure he'd say it to her soon - say that he loves her.
She really didn't feel worthy of that love. She felt unclean, dirty, a killer. Cold-hearted and emotionless. Yet Chuck had proven many times that she was worth fighting for, that she was worth caring for. Maybe even loving.
She needed to make sure that Beckman didn't get wind of their little excursion, however. That was one of her biggest fears - that she got reassigned, never to see Chuck again. She wasn't sure she'd be able to live with that. She'd quit the CIA if that happened. She'd have absolutely no idea what to do for work then, being an agent was all she ever knew, but if it meant staying with Chuck, then she could live with it.
She smiled to herself in the mirror. Nothing could ruin her mood right now. She was going out with Chuck!
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The warm California sun bathed Chuck's apartment in a golden light, but Chuck's mind was miles away, racing with thoughts of Sarah. He glanced at the clock, knowing she would arrive any minute.
There was a knock at the door, and without hesitation, Chuck flung it open. Sarah stood there, looking effortlessly stunning in a soft, casual outfit that highlighted her natural beauty. Before she could say a word, Chuck stepped forward, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her - hard, passionately, like he had been waiting forever.
Sarah melted into his embrace, her heart racing, her hands finding their way to his chest, grabbing onto him like she'd never let go. When Chuck finally pulled back, his forehead rested against hers, their breaths mingling as they stood close, caught in the moment.
"I love you, Sarah Walker," Chuck said, his voice thick with emotion. His brown eyes locked onto hers, intense and unwavering. "I'll say it again, because it just feels so good to say. I love you Sarah. I love you more than anything in this world. You're everything to me."
Sarah's breath caught in her throat. She had seen him vulnerable before, but never like this - so open, so raw. A tear threatened to fall, but she blinked it away. Her lips trembled as she smiled softly.
She summoned up her courage, squashing every single thing the CIA and her father had programmed into her, and let her heart speak: "I love you too, Chuck," she whispered, barely able to contain her emotions. "So much." It took an unreal amount of effort to say that. But it felt so good. It was so worth it.
Hearing Chuck finally tell her he loves her made her feel like her world was finally complete. She was content to stay in this place, in Chuck's arms, forever.
For a long moment, they just stood there, holding onto each other, the world outside falling away. Chuck pressed his lips to hers again, this time softer, gentler, savoring every second.
When they finally broke apart, Chuck gave her his boyish grin, the special one he saved only for her. "Shall we go?" he asked, his hand still firmly intertwined with hers.
Sarah smiled, nodding as they headed out to her Porsche. The drive to the restaurant was filled with comfortable silence, their hands locked together as the warm breeze from the open windows blew through the car.
They arrived at the restaurant, a cozy little Italian place nestled in the heart of Burbank. It reminded them of their first "real" date a few months ago. An experience that was unfortunately interrupted by FULCRUM agents surrounding them. They sat across from each other, the candlelight flickering between them, casting soft shadows on Sarah's face as they intermixed with the rays of sunlight coming through the window.
"I'm so happy," Chuck said after a while, his eyes gleaming. "I'm really happy right now. I feel like we're finally... us."
Sarah reached across the table, taking his hand in hers. "Me too," she said, her voice warm. She really did. She never felt happier in her life. In the past, she'd never been loved before. She thought she was in love with Bryce for a while, but now she could tell just how WRONG she was. Chuck finally managed to break her, allow her to love for real.
"Sarah," Chuck began after a while again, his voice a little hesitant, "I need to say something. I've been thinking a lot about everything that's happened, especially between us. And... I realize I haven't always been fair to you."
Sarah's brow furrowed slightly. "Chuck, you don't—"
"No, I do," Chuck interrupted gently, squeezing her hand. "I need to say this. I've made so many mistakes, and I owe you an apology. A real apology."
Sarah's lips parted in surprise, but she stayed silent, giving him the space to speak.
Chuck took a deep breath, his eyes falling to the table for a moment before returning to hers. "I've been a jerk, Sarah. So many times, I've let my emotions get the better of me, and I didn't stop to think about how you must have felt. Like the time with Bryce... when I let my jealousy and insecurity control me. I kept pushing you away, questioning your loyalty, when all you were trying to do was protect me. Or the time with Lou."
He paused, his voice filled with regret. "And then there was Jill. I was so caught up in my past, in old feelings that didn't even matter anymore, that I didn't stop to think about what it must have been like for you to see me with her. I let her back into my life, and it was stupid. I can't imagine how much that must've hurt you."
Sarah's expression softened as she listened, her fingers tightening around his.
"And then there was Cole," Chuck continued, his voice strained. "I know I made that situation harder for you. When I saw you with him, kissing him... I just reacted. I was hurt and angry, but I never stopped to think about how hard that must have been for you. You've been trained your whole life to follow orders, to keep your emotions in check, and I acted like you were betraying me when all you were doing was your job. I was selfish."
Chuck swallowed hard, his eyes filled with genuine remorse. "I've been so focused on how I felt - my jealousy, my fears of not being good enough for you - that I forgot to consider YOUR feelings. I never thought about how much pressure you're under, how much you've had to give up. And I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm so sorry."
Sarah's heart clenched at his words.
"Chuck..." she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I never blamed you. I knew why you reacted the way you did. But hearing you say this... it means everything to me."
Chuck shook his head, his voice trembling slightly. "You don't have to forgive me right away. I just want you to know how deeply I regret it. You've done nothing but try to protect me, and I've taken that for granted. I was too wrapped up in my own head to see that you've been compromising yourself for me this whole time. You've been fighting for us... for me... even when I wasn't."
Sarah's lips curled into a soft, sad smile. "Chuck, you've been fighting too. Maybe in your own way, but you've always fought for us. I know how much you've sacrificed too."
Chuck sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I just don't want to be the guy who makes your life harder, Sarah. I want to be the one who makes it better. And I know I haven't always been that. But I'm going to do better. I'm going to be better. You deserve that."
Sarah's heart swelled at his words. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, the depth of his love and regret. Reaching across the table, she placed her hand gently on his cheek, her thumb brushing over his skin.
"You already make my life better," she said softly.
Chuck's eyes glistened as he leaned into her touch, overwhelmed by her forgiveness, her patience. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her by his side, after everything he had put her through.
"I love you so much, Sarah."
"I love you too, Chuck," Sarah said, grinning happily.
"But, Chuck, there's something else we need to talk about," she said, her grin disappearing.
Chuck frowned slightly. Visible panic crept onto his face. "What is it?"
Sarah took a deep breath. "There's something called a '49-B' in the job I work. It's a protocol for handlers. If Beckman, or anyone really, suspects that our relationship is anything more than professional, they can have me reassigned. Permanently."
Chuck's face fell. "Reassigned? Like, to a different city? A different country?"
Sarah nodded, her expression serious. "Exactly. I'd be pulled off Operation Bartowski, and I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near you. It's not just about being caught in the field - it's about them thinking we've compromised each other emotionally."
Chuck stared at her, the weight of her words sinking in. "But... we can't just hide how we feel. I don't want to go back to pretending like none of this matters. Not after everything."
"I don't either," Sarah said, squeezing his hand. "But we have to be careful. We have to be smart about this. I'm not willing to lose you, Chuck."
Chuck nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "We'll figure it out," he said, his voice steady. "We'll find a way to make this work. We always do." Just as Sarah was about to respond, Chuck's phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up, his face tightening as he read the text message.
"It's Beckman. We need to report to Castle immediately," Chuck said, his voice tinged with regret.
Sarah sighed, pulling out her own phone and seeing the same message. "Duty calls. We'll talk about this later," she said, eyeing him seriously for a moment. "We need to pretend like nothing happened, anywhere where we might be watched by the surveillance. It will be hard, but we can do it, I'm sure."
Chuck nodded. He understood. He could fake not being in love with Sarah. He was able to have a "cover under the cover". He was sure of it. They exchanged a glance, knowing that their moment of peace was over. But this time, there was no sadness, no fear of what was left unsaid. They both knew where they stood. Chuck stood and offered Sarah his hand with a smile. Sarah took his hand, smiling back.
Together, they walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand.
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A/N2: Next chapter might be a little delayed, but I'll try and get it out as quick as possible
