Sakurajima-senpai was alone.

It seemed like a typical scene. After all, it wasn't common to see Sakurajima-senpai talking to someone or spending time with anyone. Most students didn't notice much about her interactions. Even when she had a boyfriend, this didn't change.

However, this was only true at school. In reality, I had seen her walking with someone side-by-side during their commute to and from school. If you happened to be around in the morning, you might catch a glimpse of them walking together.

Once inside the school, though, they didn't seem to meet often. The fact that they were in different grades was probably a big reason for this. Azusagawa-senpai was a second-year, and Sakurajima-senpai was a third-year. Different grades meant their classrooms were on different floors. Besides, Sakurajima-senpai wasn't the type to rush over to meet her boyfriend during the short breaks between classes. That wasn't her style.

But actually, they would meet secretly. Few knew about this, but during lunch, they'd sneak away to an empty classroom on the third floor to eat together. I knew this not because I heard it from someone else, but because I happened to stumble upon them once.

That empty classroom wasn't a place where people usually went, so it was a perfect spot for someone who wanted to be alone or spend time with someone quietly. Normally, you wouldn't find yourself in such situations.

Because of this secretiveness, Sakurajima-senpai often appeared to be alone.

Today, too, Mai Sakurajima was alone.

But now, there was nothing that could be done about it. There was nothing I could do, and I didn't think she expected anything from me.

Still, I couldn't help but be concerned. I wasn't entirely unrelated to Mai Sakurajima, and her subtle changes in behavior were something only I seemed to notice. The reason was obvious. To me, she seemed too different.

She looked fragile, as if she might break at any moment. It was unsettling. I was worried. A voice inside me told me I needed to do something.

Though winter break had passed, it had already been two weeks since then. Even now, I saw her heading alone to that empty classroom.

Even thoughAzusagawa Sakutawas no longer there.

I quietly peeked into the classroom through the window. Sakurajima-senpai was there. She sat at a desk by the window, her lunch laid out in front of her. She didn't seem to be grieving or mourning. She simply ate her lunch in silence.

I lost my courage at the last moment. I hesitated, taking a step back. It dawned on me that I hadn't thought about what to say. But I couldn't stand around here forever. Lunch break wasn't going to wait for me.

I looked at Sakurajima-senpai again.

And then our eyes met.

Sakurajima-senpai was looking right at me. I hadn't realized I was being watched. It felt like she had been looking at me all along, as if she had expected me. Despite my best efforts to remain quiet, I had been noticed.

I was startled and instinctively drew back. But it was too late—our eyes had already met. Sakurajima Mai had seen me.

Turning back now would be rude, I thought. If I walked away now, I felt I'd never be able to come here again. After all, I had come here to meet her in the first place.

Even though I was still struggling to process the situation, I couldn't imagine how she could. The death of Azusagawa Sakuta had been a tragedy for everyone who knew him. Of course, it was a deep blow to me as well.

I was sad too. I didn't know how to cope, and I couldn't sort out my feelings. Even now, I haven't fully recovered.

But I knew there was someone who had to bear that terrible truth more than anyone else.

As one of the few people who shared in that grief, I wondered if I could offer any support at all—if not to help, then at least to share the sadness. It seemed like the only way forward.

Still, when our eyes met, I felt the overwhelming urge to run away.

On the desk in front of Sakurajima-senpai, there weretwo lunchboxes.

It was clear that the lunches were meant for two people.

But she was alone in the room.

After all, it was too heavy a burden for one person to carry.

"…H-Hello, Sakurajima-senpai."

"Hello."

"Can I… eat lunch with you?"

"…I don't mind, but Koga-san, what about your usual friends?"

My greeting came out awkwardly, as my mouth didn't move the way I wanted. Sakurajima-senpai, on the other hand, replied calmly. I felt slightly relieved. I couldn't detect any signs of her wanting to be left alone.

"Today's okay."

"Do you need something from me?"

"Well, sort of…"

"I heard you're someone who values time with your friends. Are you sure you want to spend your lunch break with me?"

"My friends are the type who don't mind."

"I see. There's an empty seat here. Sit down."

"Thank you."

I sat down in the chair across from her—the spot where Azusagawa Sakuta should have been. I assumed that this was her way of acknowledging my tension. Sakurajima-senpai seemed fairly calm, almost as if she were her usual self.

"Koga-san, do you have your lunch?"

"Yes, I brought some bread and rice balls."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I will, but…"

I couldn't stop glancing at the second lunchbox.

"Why do you have two lunchboxes?"

"I made two."

"Can you eat both?"

"…Not now. Would you like to have one, Koga-san?"

"Is it really okay for me to eat it?"

"I'd appreciate it if someone could."

"Thank you very much. I'll accept it."

This lunch had been prepared for someone. I was sure of it, and that made her offer feel sincere.

"It's delicious."

"I'm glad. But don't feel pressured to finish it. You've got your own lunch too, right?"

"My food's just from the convenience store, so it's fine. I'll eat it later. I'll make sure to finish this since you made it."

"Thank you."

I had no idea what to talk about. If you asked whether I'd thought this through before coming, I'd have to admit I hadn't.

Sakurajima-senpai continued eating silently. I, too, ate in silence, trying to think of something to say.

"Thank you for the meal. The lunch was delicious."

"…I'm glad. I guess it turned out well."

"Yes, it was really good."

I hadn't come here to open up old wounds. If she didn't want to talk, I didn't want to force her. Maybe I shouldn't have asked that earlier question. Now I regretted it.

"Don't be so tense. You came to talk about Sakuta, didn't you?"

"…What?"

"Even though talking about it won't change anything, you came here for that, right?"

She anticipated me. As pathetic as it sounds, I realized it was me who had been saved by her words.

"…Can you read my mind or something, senpai?"

"Koga-san, you're easy to read. Your emotions show on your face."

"My face… really? But I wasn't thinking about anything serious. I just saw you in the hallway, and before I knew it, I was here."

"You don't need to apologize."

With that, Sakurajima-senpai gazed out the window and let out a small sigh.

"I get up early in the morning to make lunch. I open the fridge and see enough ingredients for two meals. So, I make two lunchboxes. It's been that way for a long time."

She stared at the now-empty lunchbox in front of her as she spoke. I listened in silence, determined not to miss a word of what she said.

I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed quiet.

"I guess I'm still not ready to accept Sakuta's death. Making just one lunch would mean acknowledging that he's gone."

Sakurajima-senpai spoke with her face still turned toward the window, her expression dull and emotionless. Her words, her face, her feelings—all seemed hollow.

Everything about her seemed drained.

I understood what she was saying, but it was painful to hear.

"…What do you do with the extra lunch?"

"It'd be a waste to throw it away, so I eat it during the day or between work breaks."

"You're still working?"

"I returned to show business because Sakuta was there. It's something he gave me, so it's important. If I lose that, I'll have nothing left."

"Didn't you take any time off?"

"…The day after it happened, my manager kindly gave me a day off."

"Yes, I saw you at the funeral."

"I couldn't handle that day either. A day with nothing to do was unbearable. Because when I wasn't with Sakuta, I had nothing. I already knew that, but I still asked not to be given any more days off."

Working like this seemed unhealthy. It felt like the meaning of her work was changing from what it used to be.

"Sakurajima-senpai, you look exhausted. Are you able to sleep?"

"I manage. I can't sleep at night, but I get some rest in the car during work trips. So, I'm fine."

"You look like you're pushing yourself too hard."

"Having days off is harder for me right now."

"If you keep going like this, you'll break."

"Sakuta wouldn't want me to stop, and neither do I. Right now, all I can do is keep being Mai Sakurajima."

This felt like the cold, hard logic she clung to. But human emotions aren't logical, and people can't just catch up with their feelings when something happens.

But Sakurajima-senpai could. Even if her heart seemed on the verge of breaking, she was determined to keep going.

"Sakurajima-senpai, maybe you should take a break."

She probably couldn't bring herself to rest because she was capable of pushing through.

"Even if I take a break, nothing will change."

"Sakurajima-senpai, I think you're really strong. But I don't think you have to be this strong."

"Do I seem like I'm trying too hard?"

"No. That's the problem. You seem so normal, like nothing's changed. But that's what's strange."

"I see. So, it's strange. But you're right—I'm not really trying at all."

Sakurajima-senpai smiled sadly.

"There's nothing I can do right now. It's sad, but I'm alive. I keep living, and tomorrow will come. The day after too. All I can do is live through each day."

"But just because you can keep going doesn't mean you should keep doing things the same way."

"Maybe so. But I haven't changed. I'm still the same, while Sakuta is gone. Nothing new is expected of me, so this is all I can do."

"As an actress, you're good at playing roles. I feel like you're just playing the part of your usual self, but you're also using acting to fool yourself. So, what should the real you do?"

"You're kind, Koga-san. But I have no intention of forgetting about Sakuta."

Her expression shifted from sadness to fierce determination.

"No one can see the real me anymore. Sakuta was the only one I had. I wanted him, and only him. But now, he's gone. I don't know what to do. I refuse to change because to change means… accepting."

Her voice trembled.

The real Mai Sakurajima was still there.

Even if she was acting, it was still a part of her. But, as she kept saying, "There's nothing I can do."

It didn't matter if what she said was sincere or an act—it was all the same to her now.

Still, I believed she needed to rest.

She needed to find peace, even as Mai Sakurajima. Otherwise, she was going to break.

Someone had to stay by her side. Now more than ever, being alone was dangerous.

I didn't think I was the right person for that role.

But if Sakurajima-senpai was going to be alone, and if I could be there for her, then that's what I wanted to do.

It wouldn't change anything, and I didn't know if it would mean anything to her, but it felt like the right thing to do.

"But I don't think you should be alone. I'll come here again. Please let me hear more from you. I can't do much, but I want to be there for you."

"Futaba said something similar. But I don't want anything anymore."

"I'll come on my own."

"Koga-san, I know you're worried, but nothing will change. I think you should cherish your other friends."

"I want to be friends with you too, Sakurajima-senpai."

"I appreciate that, but taking a break isn't something I can do. I'm not strong. I was fine with just having Sakuta. I never thought about what would happen if he was gone. So, I can't think of anything now."

"…Sakurajima-senpai…"

"You understand now, right? There's nothing more to say. But if you want to keep coming, I don't mind. Just… let this be the last time we talk about Sakuta."


Everyone processes grief in their own way.

I tried to do things my way. But was it really out of pure concern? Maybe I was just using Sakurajima-senpai to help me cope, trying to rely on her to overcome the grief together.

I knew she was hurting more than me. Maybe that's why I kept pushing to hear her thoughts.

Maybe I was seeking help from her.

The cold wind cut through me like knives, seeping through my scarf and gloves.

The waves continued crashing violently. The winter beach was empty.

As I descended to the sand, I wondered if I even needed to come here in the dead of winter.

When I checked the shift schedule for my part-time job and realized I had the day off, a memory of a past day at the beach floated to my mind. It was from the summer of last year. Although we never officially went, I remembered it as clearly as if we had.

"You look troubled."

A voice came from behind me. It was unfamiliar, and I wasn't sure if it was directed at me.

I was confused. There had been no one else around just moments ago, and I hadn't heard any footsteps.

"…Huh?"

When I turned around, I saw a woman I didn't know. Her long hair fluttered in the wind as she held it in place with her hand. She wore a white duffle coat, not a school uniform, so she wasn't a student from our school.

I couldn't think of any reason why she would know me. As she walked toward me, her brown boots sank slightly into the sand.

"It's really cold, isn't it? I wouldn't recommend staying here too long."

She stood beside me, smiling kindly. Though she was close for a first encounter, I felt no fear or discomfort—just an odd sense of ease.

"Have we met before…?"

"No, it's our first time. But I know you."

"…What?"

"I'm a friend of Mai."

"A friend of Sakurajima-senpai…?"

She seemed too mature to be her classmate. Could she be someone from work?

"Don't worry about me."

"Okay, but… do you need something from me?"

"I came to thank you."

"To thank me?"

"You visited Mai today, didn't you?"

"How do you know that?"

"You regret it, don't you? But don't worry, it's Mai who regrets it. She's capable and good at everything, but she's also clumsy when it comes to human emotions. Right now, all she can think about is Sakuta."

She didn't answer my question but spoke softly, as if to console me.

How did she know what happened today?

"Mai regrets…"

"You don't believe me, do you? You told her she shouldn't be alone, right?"

"Wait… how do you know all that? Did you hear it from Sakurajima-senpai?"

"That's right. In the end, that's correct."

"I see… Yeah, I didn't know what to do…"

"It's okay."

"What?"

"Please keep visiting Mai."

"But doesn't she find me annoying?"

"If I say it's okay, it's okay. Though, knowing Mai, she might think that."

"Ugh… I don't want her to think I'm annoying…"

"But Mai is kind. She'll be kind to you, too. She didn't forbid you from visiting again, did she?"

"She wasn't kind at all. She was really scary."

"That's because she didn't want you to worry or get caught up in her problems. Please understand."

"Really? But… I don't think I can do much for her…"

"You don't need to save her. Just stay with her while you're at school. It would be cruel to let her graduate like this."

"Okay… I understand."

"You trust me?"

"I've gotten involved in strange things before, so maybe this is something like that too."

"Thank you for understanding so quickly."

"Are you really Sakurajima-senpai's friend?"

"Yes. That's why I'll be the one to save her. So, you don't need to worry anymore."

"What's your name?"

"My name? Well… if we meet again, I'll tell you. If we don't, then we'll probably never meet again."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If we meet again, you'll understand. Goodbye, Koga-san. Go home soon, or you'll catch a cold."

With that, the woman waved and left.

I thought she was a strange person.

But she said, "I'll save Mai."

For some reason, her words had a ring of truth to them. I felt like I could believe her, as strange as that seemed. The anxiety I'd been feeling had eased a little.

Even though I didn't know who she was, and despite the oddness of the situation, I felt a bit of relief.

I decided to head home.

My body was freezing, my hands likely numb and stiff, making it difficult to use my phone.

Thank goodness I brought a hand warmer, I thought, shaking it vigorously as I walked toward the station.

As I walked, I thought about tomorrow. Since talking about Azusagawa-senpai was off-limits, I tried to figure out what else I could talk about.