Stanley asked for help: Cashier applicants

Day 7, Sunday afternoon

Stan sat on his tiny stool behind the register as his latest tour group meandered out front while they waited for the second half of the tour to start. He made sure to give each one a warm smile, adding more charm as some of them said some cash to his tip jar.

"Hola Senior Pines."

Stan turned to look at Mary and Anna, feeling his smile become a little more genuine as he saw them.

"Hola Mary, Mrs. Ramerez, have you had any luck in finding any potential cashiers?"

Mrs. Ramerez gave Stan a hopeful smile. "Several teenagers were willing to work the weekends, and two recently retired seniors were bored. When would you be willing to do the interviews?"

Stan was about to reply when he noticed a teenage girl with red hair and green eyes walk into the Shack while holding one of his HELP WANTED posters.

"One second. I'll tell you both at the same time." He then waved her over.

"Hello there, what's your name?"

She gave him a nervous smile. "I'm Mary Darling. I saw that you had a position open for a cashier?"

Stan nodded. "Yes, partial cashier and partial chaperone, so parents will be okay leaving their kids unattended here. Particularly Mrs. Ramerez here, since her daughter comes by daily thanks to her past. I was thinking of having the interviews on Friday after school. Does that work for you?"

She nodded. "Yes, I can do that. What should I bring?"

"Recommendations from parents saying they trust you around kids? I don't know, I've never done interviews before."

Anna spoke up. "Si, recommendations, and a signed statement from the cops saying you have no criminal record. That would put my mind at ease."

"Done. See you all Friday."

She waved and headed out. Stan then turned to Anna with a scowl.

"What's wrong with a criminal record?"

"Do you need to ask that?"

Stan was about to retort when he realized Mary (the little one) was standing next to them.

"Hay Mary, do you pet Alex? If you sit in that chair next to the staff-only door and stay still, he will jump into your lap and let you pet him. Be sure to do it slowly and gently, okay?"

Mary realized they wanted to talk without her, so she did as he asked. She was pleasantly surprised when Alex did jump into her lap, though she made sure to do as Stan said and petted him as if he was incredibly fragile.

While she was doing that, he whispered to Anna. "Do we have a leg to stand on when judging records? Both of us have broken more laws than everyone in town combined. The only possible exception would be the Northwests, assuming they didn't bribe politicians to change the laws so they can easily exploit loopholes."

"Just because we were worse doesn't mean it's ok for her to hang around people who have broken the law. I don't want her to end up like I did before having her. A body count higher than the town's population, supporting people who sold poison, and looking the other way towards their disgusting habits. She's better than us, and I want to keep her that way."

Stan narrowed his eyes at her. "As much as I can understand, we can't just turn our backs on people if they make mistakes. The entire reason I got as involved in crime as I did was because my dad threw me out of the house after one bad mistake. How can I look at myself in the mirror if I do the same to others?"

The two stayed in the staring contest for a while longer before the alarm to Stan's side went off, alerting them to the second half of the tour.

"We'll talk more later."

Stan then quickly threw on his grin and called out to the group.

"All right, everyone, time for the second half of the tour!"

After the second half of the tour

As the group left the Shack, Anna sent Mary on ahead to the car with the keys while she stayed behind with Stan.

"Ok, how about this. When you were a criminal, were there rules you followed about who you would work with? For example, didn't you work with people who had committed certain crimes?"

Stan nodded. "Sure, it was a short list, but the big one was pedophilia."

"OK, just prohibit hiring people who have done anything on that list. And I want to also look at those criminal charges before you approve them."

"Deal."

The two shook hands and went their separate ways.

Friday, day 12

Stanley placed a "closed, conducting interviews" sign on his door and turned to the four teenagers and two seniors waiting in his museum for the interview.

"All right, everyone, it's interview time. Who wants to go first?"

The two seniors were the only ones that raised their hands.

"Alright, you in the Hawaiian shirt get to go first, then the lady with the walker. Do you have any objections?"

"I'm Phill, and this is Martha."

"Those aren't objections, but thank you anyway. Follow me, Phill, to my office."

Stan had cleared out one of the rooms to be an office just for this. It currently just had a safe, a small bookcase, a copier that Stan used to make all his scrolls, a jackalope head on the wall (his first taxidermy attempt), a wooden owl, a desk (he hulled it from the dump and slapped on a fresh coat of paint, and a swivel chair.

It was mainly for the show since he hadn't needed to use it much yet, but that would probably change as business expanded.

"All right, Phill, are you okay with me recording this meeting for future reference?"

After Phill nodded, Stan turned on his tape recorder and started his Interview.

Phill

"Hello, Phil; tell me about yourself."

"Well, I am a lifelong employee of the Lumberjack. Two months ago, I retired after 50 years of service and found that I was on board. I am up to doing the weekdays of 10 to 4, but not the weekends."

Stan noted that down. "Any experience with kids?"

Phill scowled. "Those messy eaters who somehow make everything they touch sticky? I swear, I deserved hazard pay for cleaning up after them. And the fact that I was able to keep a straight face while doing so is a miracle in of itself! It will be too soon if I never see another kid again!"

"Um, you know several kids come here daily, right?"

"You don't have age restrictions here?"

"Why would we?"

"Then I'm out. Goodbye."

Martha

"I was an elementary school teacher, so I have lots of experience with kids. But tell me, are you sure that you don't want to have an age restriction on this place? We don't want to give the kids nightmares."

"I'm sure Ma'am. Mary comes by daily and talks about the place with her school friends. If I set an age limit, we would be down a fair amount of business. Not to mention, they would try to sneak in anyway. Now, do you have any-"

"No, you should make one of your rooms age-restricted and have more inappropriate items in there."

"And what would you consider inappropriate for kids?"

"Well, anything that mentions death, scary monsters, the devil, false idols, those queers-"

Jeffy Fresh

"What's up, dog! Jeffy Fresh is in the house!"

"Do you expect me to believe your parents named you Jeffy Fresh?"

"No, they named it Jefferson Franklin Eisenhower."

"Jeffy Fresh it is then. You can't work during school hours since you're a teenager without us both getting into trouble."

"Don't worry; the school hasn't taught me anything useful like how to beatbox, do hip hop, or adjust your pants so they hang just right without falling off no matter what you do. I was thinking of dropping out if I got this job."

"Thanks for telling me, but since Anna would kill me if she found that out, you're out of the running. Have a nice day."

"Your loss, peace!"

Byrone

"Byrone? Did you mean to write Tyrone or Byron?"

"Nope. It's Byrone, and it's not a nickname. I have hip parents who were ahead of their time."

"Great. What experience do you have with kids?"

"None whatsoever, and I have never worked a job in my life. I was hoping this could be my first."

"Fine by me. Do you think parents will be okay with letting their kids come with you for chaperoning?"

"As long as it isn't Ma and Pa Duskin. Those two hate teenagers with a passion. I heard they are even considering banning teenagers from their store."

"That's dumb. Aren't teenagers one of the biggest customer bases stores like that have?"

"Yeah, we do spend lots of money there. So what if we also shoplift, vandalize, dance hip-hop style in the aisles, make the floors slippery and sticky with our soda and mentat volcanoes, set off the fire alarms-"

"I think I see why they are doing this."

Rosie

"Why do you want to work here?"

"I don't. My parents said I needed a job or was grounded with no allowance. All I did was steal Dad's credit card and use it to buy a new wardrobe, makeup, clothes, piercings, a boombox, clothes for my friends-"

"All right! Do you have any work experience?"

"Yeah, I was a cashier at the new taco place, but I got fired for spending too much time on my make-up and reading magazines rather than operating the register."

"Ok, are you willing to not do that here?"

"Nope, both those things are central to my survival."

Mary Darling

"Okay, the other 5 were terrible fits. Let's see how well you do. Do you have experience with kids?"

"A little, I have a younger brother that I baby sat before my parents split. He and mom are in Portland now."

"Ok, do you have any priors?"

"Um, I might have set a few garden sheds on fire." She then let out a loud sigh. "I was just so angry about the divorce and wanted the to pay attention to ME instead of each other. I'm just glad I limited it to garden sheds without anyone in them."

Stan was silent for a bit before continuing. "Ok, not the best way to deal with that. I'll admit I have done much worse things for worse reason though. I'm guessing that parents know about it and as such don't want you near their kids?"

"Yeah, several of my friend's aren't aloud to be around me anymore. Some will still talk to me in school, but few will spend time with me outside of it.

"Ok. That might be a deal breaker, but I'll see if I can convince Anna to let to have the job regardless. What about hours and wages?"

"I still have to go to school, so I can only do weekends until summer, but I am willing to work for the minimum wage of $3.50."

"Ok, that's all the questions I have for you."

"Really?"

"Hay, don't sound so surprised. I will run this tape by Anna first to see if she has any objections, but I'll let you know how things are going this weekend. Maybe Monday if things take a while."

"Ok, Mr. Pines. Thank you, and have a nice day."

Anna

Anna sighed after hearing the last of the tapes while in Stan's office.

"I am so sorry; I put too much stock in what the parents said about the kids instead of talking with them myself. Same with the seniors and their kids."

"Eh, don't worry about it. I at least found one that might work. Any objections to Mary Darling working at the Shack?"

She grimaced before responding. "I'm hesident to let a arson hang around Mary, but as long as she dosen't set anything on fire or talk about that in front of Mary, then I can let it slide." She then shot him a smile. "Are you willing to deal with the confusion of two Marys regularly being in the Shack?"

Stan shrugged. "That's what nicknames are for. Yours will be 'Little Mary' and hers will be 'MD.' We can workshop the names with them both later on."

"Ok, but what about a weekday worker?"

Stan just smiled. "I have a few ideas."

Handwitch

"Sure, Stan, I know a few people who would be ok with a cashier gig. Are you sure about this, though? The weird and mundane seldom interact without disaster striking."

"Hay, a rotating cast of colorful characters manning the register will help drum up business. I'll say it's people wearing costumes and leaving it at that. As for payment, I'll negotiate with each to consider their preferred currency."

Handwitch nodded. "Sounds good to me. What about my fortune-telling?"

"Sure, I can move stuff around to make room for a table for you in the first room."

"I have a full tent I was planning to pitch next to the Shack. I'll be happy to pay 10% of the profits for the rent."

"Deal! By the way, how are the renovations to the casino going?"

She then smiled a wide grin, showing off her yellow teeth. "Great, we got the rooms dug out and are now looking into acquiring the stuff to go into the casino, like card tables."

Stan then snapped his fingers as he remembered something. "Wait one minute, I think I know a casino owner that might be able to help us out."

He then pulled out a small book of the people he either owed money to or was owed money by. Granted, the book was 90% the former, 1% the latter, and 9% terrible relationships, but he eventually found what he sought.

"Here we go. A South Dakota reservation casino owner said he owes me big for removing some pictures for him. Give me a list of what you need, and I'll send it to him to see what he will provide to pay that off."

Handwitch just nodded and was about to leave before she stopped and turned back. "Hay Stan? What about Alex? Do you think he would be up to operating the register yet?"

"Nope, I already asked and she said he would rather stay as a cat for now. Though he did mention a neat idea for a 'snack shack,' you could help him set it up."

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I have decided to cap this series at 29 chapters, that way it will end with the year. I am not 100% happy with the in universe pasing and how I have been jumping from one idea to the next with no break, so when I do this again, I plan on setting up a timeline and outline from the start before writing my first chapter.

I have them all written up, and the final chapter is over 6k words.

I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.

Remove all the spaces from the URLs to get them to work.

: : / / w w w . user?u=10132890

. c o m : : / / w w w . s/14051718/1/luz–appreciation–week–2022–from–1228248

AO3: : / / works/52823413/chapters/133608991

Tumbler: : / / w w w . blog/brianedner

I am also doing fanfic info dumps, like wiki articles that go one episode at a time, with some compilations at the end on specific topics sorted by episode.

Fanfic info dumps here: : / / w w w . 1228248/gallery