AN: Not a big one but that's because I want to plan the date more. Thanks to TheDogofTin for a name for the restaurant in Purgatory
Disclaimer: I do not own Helluva Boss
A date.
Collin is asking me out on a date.
When did I suddenly lose control of the situation here?
Usually, when it comes to these things, I'm the one who's leaving everyone in shock and unable to reply until I get them in bed and have them screaming my name. Now? It's just me. Well, save for the screaming the name part while rocking my party hole.
I summon another drink and gulp it in one huge effort before turning to Collin. "I'm sorry; what did you just ask me?"
"Um, I'd like to know if you wanted to go on a date?" Collin says, his cheeks turning red, and he rubs the back of his head.
"A-A-Are you serious?" I ask him just to make sure I'm hearing him right.
"Well, you seem interested in me and...well...I would be lying if I didn't say I'm interested in you," Collin taps his hooves together and slightly smiles. He's trying to lower himself as if he's trying to shrink. "I just...thought...you know? We'd try a date out."
"Listen, Collin," I try to find the words for this. "It's not that I don't think you're not interesting; it's just...dating is different than having plain fun sex. That's commitment stuff. You're asking me, a demon, to date you, an angel. Isn't there some kind of rule against that or something?"
"Not that I know off, and I know most of the rules by heart," Collin answers. "Besides, I...I don't care what others think. I know you're a demon, but you've been kinder to me than most...even among my own kind."
There is a sense of bitterness in his tone that makes me pause. What's that all about?
He then looks away and sighs. "I just...I do like you...and I won't deny that I'm attracted to you. You're kind, sweet, and always know how to make people smile. You even accepted me despite the possible damage it could cause to your reputation. I'm not saying we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend or something after all this, but...if we have something building up between us, don't we owe it a chance to see where it goes?"
Biting my lip, I think about what he's saying. First off. What he said about me? Very sweet. I kinda feel my heart thumping a bit when hearing that. Second, I'm not going to deny that something about Collin does attract me. I was planning on fucking him after all. But it looks like he's got some personal feelings for me. I guess I should be flattered because he likes me so much. But to date me and not have sex? Maybe it is him being a good little Christian boy, but it's also something else.
Nobody has ever said no to having sex with me.
Look, I'm sexy. I'm a foxy-bee demon who can make you feel endless delight and euphoria in multiple ways. Maybe I'm not a total sex machine like Ozzy, but I'm just as good. I've turned straight women fucking gay because of my ass alone. Everyone who I ever wanted to sleep with has said yes.
Until now.
But now, for the first time in a long time, someone refuses to sleep with me and asks me out on a date. And I don't know how to deal with that. This is a first for me.
And I rarely get those anymore.
"... I'm sorry," Collin sighs as he gets up. "I guess it was a dumb idea. Forget I said anything. Let me just-"
"Wait," I grab his arm before he can fly off. "I'm not saying no, it's just a shock is all..."
Collin nods and slowly sits back down. "O...Okay..."
"Right," I take a moment to focus and breathe. "Okay, you want to take me out on a date. Where exactly are you thinking of us going?"
"Well, I figured Hell and Earth are places you've been to already. And it might cause too much controversy if we go on a date in Heaven. So I was thinking of this restaurant I know in Purgatory called The Between, which is pretty nice."
"Purgatory?" I ask in surprise. "I... I've never been there."
"Oh, right. That realm was made after Christ's Resurrection, long after your fall. I figured you'd like to see it? Demons can now enter it thanks to the peace agreements. Actually, why not have a date to explore it together? The dinner can be after it," Collin says with a big smile. "It's got a lot of cool shops! Areas of interest! Oh, and a really cool club I heard of called Dionysus!"
Okay, now I'm very interested. What does a Purgatory club look like? Actually, what does the middle realm of the afterlife act like? I know it's where humans go to properly get purged and earn a second chance if they weren't too good or evil. But beyond that?
Alright, now I'm interested more.
"...And what happens if the date goes bad?" I ask.
"Then we just remain friends and co-workers," Collin said with a small smile. "If it doesn't work out. It just doesn't."
"And if it does?"
"... We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
"...Fuck it," I chuckle and smirk at him. "Alright, Lambchops. We'll try it out. I think it's crazy, but then again, who am I to judge doing crazy things."
"R-Really?!" Collin flies up with his eyes widened with joy as he giggles happily. "Yes! Thank you so much, Bee! I promise you won't regret it! I'll text you when would be the best time! I'll see you tomorrow for work!"
Collin is so excited that he moves backward and hits the door on the back of his head before nervously leaving. I even hear a "woohoo!" in the halls as I lay on my bed and laugh. What a dork. A cute dork. A cute dork who asked me out on a date.
I grin before pulling out my phone to check my schedule next week. Nothing important, so I can drop anything at any time.
"Well, one important thing. I got a date."
"He asked you out on a date?! " Vortex and Loona say while I look through my long closet for something good to wear. Collin texted me earlier, saying it would be tomorrow at eleven in the afternoon, both on his day off and on a quiet day for the club, so it would be handled without me for the day. Plus, I have nothing scheduled, so it works out.
"Yeah, it surprised me too," I tell them as I pull out a cute pink shirt with yellow honey bees. "Too cute? Too silly?"
"Both," Loona answers, which makes me toss it and look for something else. "Look, Bee? Can we go back to the fact that you are going to go out with a fucking angel?"
"What's wrong about it? Some angels head over to Lust to sleep with a few succubus. I know it's a popular dare among the college kids," I tell Loona as I lean down to look through my drawers.
"Yeah, but that's just a quick fuck. You actually dating an angel would imply you have feelings for him." Loona pauses before asking. "Do you have feelings for Collin?"
I didn't answer for a moment as not only was the question one I had no honest answer to, but I also couldn't decide on a blue shirt with black flames or a white shirt with a pink kitsune on it. "I don't know. Collin has quickly become one of my closest friends, and I think a lot of that has to do with his personality. There is just something about him that makes him feel genuine in who he is."
Unlike some angels who were completely hypocritical in nature, zealous in their beliefs, or so posh that they looked down on those who didn't fit their worldview. Sure, we got demons like that in Hell, but Heaven goes on about being "perfect" and "righteous" when there are those who act so smug and bitchy. I know not all angels are like, but it's hard to care about the other side when they look at you as if you're just plain evil for your beliefs and actions.
...Even if there is some truth to the words.
Shaking my head, I turn back to my friends. "Regardless, Collin is someone I trust. I know he won't hurt me."
"That's not what we're worried about," Vortex shakes his head. "It's how the rest of the afterlife will react to such a thing. Taking Collin in as a worker was one thing, but outright dating him would be another. You won't have demons angry; you'll also have angels angry at you. They might target not only you but Collin as well."
The thought of Collin being hurt makes me nearly rip one of my shirts with my hands and turn my nectar lava red for a moment before I cool down. "Collin's not dumb. I'm sure he's thought about this. Besides, he can take care of himself. I'm sure whatever comes from this, we'll face it and get through it."
I then turn around and look at them. "I just...want to know if you two got my back."
They look at each other before turning back to me with smiles. "We always got you, Bee."
That relieves a lot of pressure in my heart. Even though I've lived for a near eternity, the opinions of those I care about mean so much to me. Demons who live long, like me, tend to pick our friends carefully since we know we'll outlive them one day. So, we live for the best days possible and make as many memories as possible. It's sad to know one day, I'll be looking at Vortex and Loona's graves when they pass on from old age while I'm still alive, but I push those thoughts away.
What matters is today. Not tomorrow.
Well, far tomorrow anyway.
Tomorrow is my date, and I need to look good for it.
Well, I did manage to find a suitable outfit. I knew that going into something too revealing might be a risk. Purgatory was technically run by Heaven, after all. So I decided to wear a pink shirt with a blue flaming heart, black jeans, and some fingerless gloves. I decided to also wear a silver pentagram necklace that Loona gave me on my birthday. Hey, I gotta still show some demonic pride. Thankfully, according to Collin, we were going nowhere fancy, which suited me just fine. I hate fancy shit. It's boring.
I stood in my office, checking my phone, when a white, heavenly portal opened up. I put my phone away to see Collin flying in. Much to my surprise, he was also wearing a different outfit: a purple, green sleeve shirt with a Celtic symbol on it." You're Irish?"
"Uh, no. But I like the logo," Collin said nervously before pulling out a bouquet of flowers. Not just any flowers. They were ones I... hadn't seen in so long. Mary's Blessings. A crystallized yellow and blue flower whose buds were like looking at water vapors. "Like them?"
"I...I haven't seen Mary's Blessings in a long time." I give a small smile before putting them in a nearby vase. "Thanks. A little old school, but I can dig it."
"Thanks. Mom always says the classics are the best," Collin answered while rubbing the back of his head.
Shit. He really is a Mama's Boy.
"Anyway, do you want me to like you? Should I go disguised as a lesser demon? A dead human? I think maybe I can pull off an angel, but it would require more prep time."
"Wait, why wouldn't you go as yourself?" Collin asks.
I raise an eyebrow and point at myself. "Uh, because I'm fucking Beelzebub? Sin Lord of Gluttony? Practically used in angel schools as a means to convince little angels to not sin or else I'll gobble them up for dinner?"
"Actually, I think they use Mammon for that," Collin pointed out. "Seeing as he's a giant big guy with a scary face and bad odor."
"...Huh, that actually makes more sense," I think for a second before turning to Collin again. "But seriously? You want to go around with me as...me?"
"Yes, Bee," Collin sighs as he flies over and smiles. "I want you to go as you. And if anyone gives a problem about well, they can...you know..."
"What?"
"...fuck off?" He whispers before covering his mouth. "Sorry."
"...Fuck me, you are too adorable," I chuckle before putting my arm around him. "Alright, Lambchop. Let's go party it up in Purgatory."
Collin smiles as the two of us head to his portal. Hope the middle realm is ready for the Queen Bee.
...and her cute date.
