July 2031: A Death in the Family Part I.
Jeff looked at Nick for a moment, not quite comprehending in his just awake state quite what his husband meant; then his face changed as he looked over his husband's shoulder at the bed in which Caleb lay. He was still there, so he was with them…
Then it hit him, exactly what Nick meant… "No, he is just asleep Nicky! He has been sleeping a lot more soundly for a while now, and he just didn't wake up for you."
"Jeffie…"
"He will wake up for me," Jeff said firmly, but his bottom lip was trembling as he said it. He knew that Nick was telling the truth, as he would never be so cruel to say something like that as a prank or joke. He walked past his husband and crouched down beside Caleb's bed. He called his name and started to stroke him. As he did so, he immediately felt the same difference that Nick had, how cool and stiff his body was below the fur. He called his name again, louder this time and with a slightly frantic note in his voice…
Then he heard Nick sob in the background, his heart breaking at the sight of his husband desperately trying to rouse his pet from a slumber that he could never awaken from. He realised that his own eyesight was starting to blur as his own tears began to well up, his brain functioning more in the reality of the situation that his heart, which was desperately seeking a miracle that could not occur…
He lifted Caleb up then, cradling him in his arms, but that just served to make it even more apparent that he would never again hear his pet purr, or his friendly miaow of greeting; would never again see the cat's eyes light up at the sight of him, or of food… He hugged Caleb to him and let the sobs he had been holding back come, as his heart broke at the loss of the animal that was so much more to him than a mere pet. He knew that some people thought that he was a little mad to be so attached to a cat, but without him Caleb's life would have ended in the cruellest of ways, discarded like trash in a dumpster. He had watched him grow from kitten to adult cat, had enjoyed every second of his companionship and had drawn him so many times; he was his favourite subject to draw. All Caleb had ever asked for in return for it all was love and food, and he had given back so much of the former in return. The rest of the world around Jeff faded into silence as he mourned his loss…
Nick could only watch as the man he loved so much fell apart, knowing that even if he went over and wrapped his arms around him right now, Jeff would not notice that he was there. In any case, he had another issue to deal with, as he had heard the sound of another pair of feet descending the stairs to the kitchen; in a moment he would have his son to cope with as well as his shattered husband.
Wes stepped into the kitchen, yawning as he did so, but seconds later he froze as he observed the scene, seeing his papa on his knees and shaking as he sobbed. His eyes spun to his father, who looked at him with such a sad expression, his face stained with tears, then beckoned him to come over to him. He hurried across and allowed his dad to take him into his arms, neither of them speaking at first. Then Nick quietly said, "Caleb didn't wake up this morning…"
That simple statement was all it took to make Wes cry too. It was not his first experience of death, far from it, but this was the closest that it had as yet come to home. Caleb had been part of his life from the moment that he was born, and although there had been an initial wariness of the other on both of their parts, they had come to be close. The three human members of the Sterling-Duval family mourned their loss in that way for a while, but then Wes left his father's arms, and headed across the room to kneel beside his papa, and take his own last look at the cat…
Nick watched that scene for a moment, but then he realised that there was something else he needed to do; he needed to inform the fourth human that had loved Caleb with all of his heart of what had happened. He headed towards the stairs and pulled out his phone; he dialled a number that he knew off by heart. It was still early, but he knew that the person he was calling also woke early every day, so he was confident that his call would be answered quickly.
He soon heard the voice he was expecting on the other end of the line, Tina sounding quite upbeat. He took a breath, then said, "I am sorry to be calling you so early, but I came down the stairs this morning and discovered that Caleb…"
He did not need to say any more, as Tina knew where the call was going from Nick's voice; she interrupted him, and said quietly, "I will let him know; you will already have your hands full I suspect. Do you want me to come along later in my professional capacity just to confirm things?"
"Personally, I do not think that there is any point, but I suspect that Jeff might disagree, so yes, that would be good," Nick replied. Tina told him that she would make arrangements for the kids so she could come along, then asked him to wish her luck…
Nick knew exactly what she meant, and he also knew exactly what to expect next. Within less than two minutes the street door upstairs was flung open and then he heard more feet on the stairs. Mike ran into the room barefoot and in his pyjamas, his hair sticking out wildly in all directions. He did not even acknowledge Nick, running past him to fall on his knees beside Jeff, a sob coming from him the moment he saw what the blond was cradling in his arms…
Nick decided then to finally make the tea, but his plans for making pancakes had been pushed aside in the circumstances. He was grateful that it was a Saturday as he did not have to worry about work and could stay at home to take care of Jeff. He knew that Miss Worthington would have understood had it been a weekday and he had needed to take a day off to look after things at home, but you did not officially get any compassionate leave at all for the death of a family pet…
Keeping busy had always been Nick's coping mechanism in troubled times. He made the tea and managed to get Wes back off the floor and to the table; encouraging his son to sit and have breakfast was the simple task after all. He knew from experience that his husband would not budge from the spot he was in until he was entirely ready to; even if he made a batch of Jeff's favourite cookies he would not move. The smell of them baking would normally make Jeff come running, but even that would not be enough to stir him out of his grief any sooner. He suspected that much the same would apply to Mike this morning, who now had his head on Jeff's shoulder; the sense of loss that he was feeling would be on a level very close to the blond's own…
It would come as a surprise to his husband then when Jeff placed Caleb back in his bed a minute later, then wiped at his eyes. Mike lifted his head off his shoulder and that allowed the blond to rise up onto his feet, from where he looked down at an expectant Mike. He nodded to him, a sign to Mike that he could now have a few moments to say his own personal goodbye to Caleb. He then turned to Nick and quietly said, "He had a good life really; he was old, tired and in pain as well. He was sleeping for more and more of every day, and it took him so long to walk over to his food…" He paused for a moment, then went on, "He was much more affectionate with me up in the studio yesterday than he has been for a while; maybe he knew what was coming and he wanted to say goodbye to me properly…"
Nick nodded, then replied, "I remember what everyone remarked upon just before Seth passed away; that he had rallied and felt much better just before the end finally came. That is true of so many people, so maybe it is the case for every living creature."
Jeff smiled, then in a hushed voice said, "I will never forget him, and he can never be replaced. He was mine, because I saved his life…"
As Jeff's voice cracked, Nick pulled him into a hug and held him there as his husband started to cry once more, the salty tears landing on Nick's cheek. That just made him pull him all the closer, and seconds later they both felt a much smaller body hugging them both, as Wes shared his love with them both.
As he held his husband, Nick looked up and saw that Mike had now risen to his feet, and was slipping one of Caleb's well used catnip toys into his pyjama pocket; the dancer had bought it for him as usual, something that he had done since the day the cat had come into their lives, when he was a mere scrap of a kitten in a shoebox. He realised suddenly that he had been observed by Nick, and as his cheeks coloured, he pulled the toy back out. Nick shook his head and mouthed the words 'Keep it' to his friend. Jeff would never miss one well chewed toy, but he knew that it would mean so much to Mike to have that memento of his little furry friend…
As the hug ended, Mike made as if to go, but Jeff shook his head at him. "No, you need to stay here for a while; have breakfast with us so that we can all grieve together at this sad time. It will also make it much easier to discuss the arrangements for Caleb's funeral if you are here as well." Mike and Nick looked at each other pointedly then, as they wondered just what kind of send off the blond was anticipating having for his pet…
The normal duties of a Saturday would still happen that day, but for once, Nick and Wes went to do the food shopping on their own, as Jeff refused to leave Caleb on his own for a moment. As they left the house, Tina arrived, and she insisted that they did not delay their trip for a minute. "It is a late cat and the human that loved him the most that I have come to see. When Mike came home, he told me that Jeff wants a proper funeral to take place for Caleb, we knew that he would need expert advice on the matter, so we might have taken it upon ourselves to call Brittany and let her know what is going on. She said that she will come and visit this afternoon, although knowing her she could arrive sooner. I know we have overstepped a little in doing so, but I think that she is the best person that he could speak to right now, as she will understand his pain most."
Nick smiled, and realised that he had not let anyone else know either, and all of their friends would need to be informed. Turning to Tina, he said, "I forgive the overstep, as you are correct, she is the best person for Jeff right now… I must confess though that the idea of a pet cemetery fills me with a deep sense of foreboding, ever since I read that novel by Stephen King a few years ago…"
Tina smiled, and replied, "I read that one too and I have to concur; I am going to suggest that as you own this house and there is a back garden, it might be a much better idea just to bury Caleb in your own garden instead of somewhere miles away. If he was buried here, then Jeff and Mike will be able to visit the grave more often, because that is something they will both need to do. You can also get a nice simple headstone to mark the spot and be the focal point of the memorial."
"I could live with that, and you are right, it would be convenient for Jeff. I think he would like to keep his pet close even in death."
"Exactly, because the nearest pet cemetery that would have space is the legendary Hartsdale, but that is in Westchester County. Yes, it is easy to reach from the city on the Metro North train, but the distance would be a terrible thing for Jeff."
They left the topic at that, and Nick and Wes hurried off to catch the subway across to Brooklyn as normal. As they wandered around the store things almost seemed normal, until Nick reached for a sack of kitty litter that was on promotional offer; his son gasped and gave him such a horrified look and the momentary lapse was forgotten. As he carried on around the store, Nick realised that what he had done was nothing unusual; he had heard of people buying the favourite food of their late partner without thinking, even if they hated the foodstuff in question themselves; with a cat, he guessed kitty litter was an equivalent in a way. He kept that in mind as he went to pick up every other item, making subtle changes to the quantities that he bought as there was one less mouth to feed at home now…
What Nick did not know was that the news of their loss had already leaked out to their friends and neighbours. Beats had been awake early too that morning, as Elliott had the early shift at the Spotlight Diner; he had happened to be looking out the front window of his house not long after his husband had left and had seen a pyjama clad Mike sprinting past on the sidewalk, looking as if his heart was broken. Beats had watched in fascination as he then disappeared into the house next door but one and had reflected upon what he had witnessed; he noted Mike's attire and the fact that he had also been barefoot, a brave thing to do on a New York sidewalk. He also noted the look on the dancer's face…
Almost at once he knew what it all meant and he felt a lump in his throat, tears pricking at his own eyes as he thought of the cat that had been such a part of the fabric of life in their close-knit street. He watched for a few minutes more, and the fact that no ambulance appeared confirmed his suspicions that something had happened to the feline resident; the fact Tina did not follow her husband confirmed that there was nothing a vet could do to assist. He made himself a cup of coffee then, but returned to the window, carrying on watching for some sort of indication…
Eventually Mike would walk back home, wearing a pair of slippers on his feet that seemed the wrong size. He pondered opening the window and calling out to him, but he decided to leave the dancer undisturbed in his grief. He carried on then with his morning chores and had been returning home having dropped off the garbage at the collection point when Tina emerged from her home and headed in the same direction he was. He said nothing other than a polite greeting at first, but then as he reached his front door, he said, "Caleb's gone, isn't he?"
She paused then, looking at him curiously, then she realised that he must have observed Mike as he dashed along the road earlier. She said nothing but nodded with a sad smile. Beats closed his eyes and let out a sigh; then he headed for home as Tina carried on along the street. He could not do anything else for now, and in any case, he had to get himself ready for a visit to the synagogue for morning service, a must given how close his son's wedding day was…
When he left the house quarter of an hour later, he almost collided with Ethan, who was returning from the bakery with a bag full of bagels and pastries. "I think that something is going on with Jeff," Ethan blurted out almost immediately. "I just saw Nick and Wes heading into the subway on their own, and they always go and do the weekly shop together on a Saturday."
Beats looked at him, then sighed. "Look, I didn't tell you this, because we aren't meant to know yet officially, but I saw a few things happening this morning and well… Caleb has passed away."
Ethan's eyes widened then, before a grim expression took over his face. "Jeff will be grief stricken; Caleb was his child in so many ways. I take it that someone is with him, because Nick would never leave him on his own otherwise?"
"Tina is there just now; she is the one that confirmed what I was suspecting. Look, I need to go right now; I am expected at Sabbath service, given that the big day is next weekend, but promise me that you will keep this to yourself. Don't even tell Drew what I have told you. They will make it official eventually, but we can't tell him how sorry we all are until that happens…"
Ethan nodded, and then let Beats head out, standing for a moment in their shared hallway. He tried to imagine how Jeff would be feeling right now, but he couldn't; losing someone that you thought of as your child had to be the hardest thing in the world. He took a deep breath, made himself smile, and headed into his own apartment to spend some quality time with his own little family…
In the end, the first of the Warblers to be informed officially was Trent. He had been Jeff's best friend before Nick had arrived at Dalton, and he was still the person that the blond turned to when he was unable to speak to Nick about something. Trent was in his study at home, writing a speech for the President to deliver at a major conference next week when his phone started to ring. He normally did not take personal calls in time that he had dedicated to work, but when he saw who it was, he suddenly felt that there was something very wrong and he knew he had to break his usual rules for once. He answered with a quiet hello, and there was silence for a moment, then he heard Jeff speak in a tearful voice…
"I lost my baby today Trent… Caleb's gone, and I…"
As Jeff began to sob on the other end of the call, Trent knew that the speech had to wait for as long as it took; it was no longer important in the grand scheme of things. All he could do was listen as his friend poured his heart out, not saying a thing, as he knew that his words would mean nothing, or at worst be cliched and trite. He could not imagine how Jeff was feeling right now, nor could he expect him to pull himself together and get over it as some would, saying it was only a cat. He was glad that Caleb's death had been a peaceful one, as that was some comfort at least. When he heard the blond say that there would be a funeral for his pet, Trent immediately asked to know when it would be, as all other plans would be pushed aside; his place was at his friend's side…
Jeff asked Trent to do something for him, and he was happy to oblige; thus, passing the news to Thad as Head Warbler became Trent's task. He realised of course as he called the number that in any other circle of male friends, the death of a cat would not be treated in such a way; it would probably be dismissed as just one of those things. He knew that would not be the case for them. When he spoke those words, he heard the crack in Thad's voice as he repeated them back to him just to confirm what he thought he had heard…
"He passed in his sleep during the night; apparently Nick found him curled up in his bed this morning when he got up, but he couldn't wake him. I think that is how any of us would like to pass as well…"
"Indeed," replied Thad. "I take it that I have permission to post this news on the group chat?"
"You do, but it might be best to add that Jeff is grieving hard right now, so they should direct any messages of condolence to their joint Facebook page. I don't think that Jeff could handle a flurry of well-meaning phone calls right now…"
"Of course, those living closest might want to pop along and pay their respects in person, but I can't tell them not to do so without the authority of both Nick and Jeff."
Trent agreed, but then said, "I think that Jeff is expecting that, and he is certainly expecting one person in particular to come and visit him very soon, as she has been informed..."
Thad smiled to himself then, knowing exactly who Trent meant; as soon as she knew about the death, Brittany would have wanted to get straight on a train from Maplewood to Manhattan to try and console Jeff on the loss of his beloved pet. He suddenly realised that Lord Tubbington, her own cat, had to be one of the oldest in history, as she had owned him so long; indeed, he had been around before she had been in high school…
"I know what you are thinking," Trent said quietly, "but I suspect that the current Lord Tubbington is not the original one, just a doppelganger. I seem to recall overhearing Brittany a few years ago telling a mutual friend that Santana had sent her cat away to a health resort as he was getting fat and slow, and that he had returned looking much slimmer and younger."
Thad couldn't help but laugh then, but he was also pretty sure that the blonde was not as stupid as she made out, and that she was fully aware of what her wife had done out of pure love for her. However, she would never let on to Santana that she knew, as she would think she would upset her by doing so…
Nick would receive the notification from Thad on his phone as he climbed up the stairs from the subway and into the market at Union Square. The message had been done with great tact and dignity, a black and white photo of Caleb there with the dates he had lived on a page that was black rimmed. He read the words too, and spotted Trent's hand in them at once, which let him conclude that Jeff had reached out to his oldest friend in his grief, and that he had asked him to pass on the news to the Head Warbler, which saved him a task…
He headed swiftly in the direction of the usual stalls, not wanting to leave Jeff for much longer; the people behind them had an inkling of what he would purchase, as he was a creature of habit like so many others. He left the fish stall until last, and only there did he have to make any change to the usual; he purchased salmon, and then the lady that ran the stall pulled out the usual bag of trimmings he gave him for free. He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head.
"I'm afraid that he left us this morning, so I won't be requiring them from now on…" he said quietly, his eyes starting to mist over at such a small thing.
The stallholder understood at once and placed her hand over Nick's own on the countertop; it lasted a moment, and then they both returned to the usual business of a Saturday morning. His fish bought, Nick and Wes headed away, and all the brunet could hope was that some other lucky cat would benefit from that largesse. On a whim, he headed to the bakery stall again, and bought a box of Jeff's favourite pastries, as he suspected that his husband would have a lost appetite that day, and every little trick would be needed to ensure he ate.
He also bought some baklava, which was the current favourite sweet treat of his son, whose eyes lit up the moment Nick asked for it. He had tried it at the home of the Turkish ambassador to the UN, who had invited Nick and his family over for dinner one evening and was instantly hooked. He happily took the box and added it to the shopping he was already carrying. That done, his father decided that for once they would take a taxi home rather than walk or catch the bus across town…
As the cab dropped them off outside their home, Nick saw Drew and Evie appear outside their own front door, then walk along the street towards them. Drew offered to help Nick with the shopping whilst Evie approached Wes, then pulled the startled boy into a tight hug.
"She means well, but I don't think that Wes particularly appreciates being hugged by a girl," observed Drew, with a look in his eye that told Nick that Drew suspected the same about his son as he did himself. "She is just a little bit upset by the news about Caleb," Drew continued. "I am guessing that Jeff is devastated - Mike too for that matter. You will have your work cut out for you, handling all of that grief and your own as well…"
"I knew that this day was going to come, but it is a lot like when The Queen died – it still came as an absolutely massive shock this morning. I also have to admit that I had no idea how to break it to Jeff gently. In all honesty, I don't think there was any way that I could have done…"
"Would you like a hand up the steps with the shopping? We won't come in…"
Nick smiled, then said, "I would love that, but I would also like you to come in. Jeff might not want to see people right now, but I think that if people do not try and see him then he will be even more upset. He would think that nobody cared about Caleb, and that none of you care about him now…"
Drew saw the wisdom in that, so he followed Nick inside with the bags and then made his way down the familiar steps to the kitchen, glad that he and Evie had both dressed in dark coloured clothes before they had headed out. They found the blond sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes now focused on an empty cat bed. "Where is he, Jeffie?" Nick asked gently, placing a hand on his husband's shoulder as he spoke.
"Tina has taken him away to the pet mortuary at her work; it is better for him to be there until we are ready to have his funeral. I don't know when that will be yet, as he will need a nice coffin to be buried in, and it is too soon today for me to even start thinking of looking for one. I have made one decision on it though, and that is that I want to bury him in the back garden. It was Tina's idea, and it was a good one. If we bury him there, then he will always be close to us…"
"I think that is a very good and sensible idea," replied Nick gently, giving Jeff's shoulder a squeeze.
It was only then that the blond seemed to realise that Nick and Wes had not returned on their own. Realising that, Drew said gently, "Evie and I wanted to come and offer our condolences on your loss. I know just how much he meant to you all…"
"Thank you," replied Jeff. "Would you like a coffee, or even better, stay for lunch? Caleb would not have wanted me to forget him, but he wouldn't have wanted me to become a reclusive hermit either…"
Nick was slightly surprised at his husband's reaction, but said nothing as Drew agreed to stay for lunch, and then found himself calling Ethan, to tell him to come over and join them for a remembrance lunch…
Beats had just made the synagogue on time that morning, joining the Rosenfelds, Lachlan and Dante in their row with seconds to spare. "There was a bit of a drama taking place back home this morning," was all he had time to say in explanation before the service began. It was only once it was over that he had a few minutes as they waited on Rabbi Hirsch to be free to join them and escort them to her office for a final pre-wedding talk that he was able to tell them all exactly what had happened.
Dante's face immediately fell, and he said, "He was such a great cat… He saw himself as the boss in that house, and in so many ways he was, as they all danced attendance on him. Jeff must be absolutely devastated…"
Beats nodded, then said in a low voice, "He made a conscious decision not to have children of his own because of his family history; I think that Caleb was a substitute for that child in so many ways, so he must really be suffering."
"I have to admit that of all of his artworks, the drawings of his cat were some of my favourites," Ruth Rosenfeld said with a smile. "He will live on forever in all of those images. Of course, if what you suggest is true, then I doubt they will ever have another cat…"
"I don't know about that," her husband said. "It might be a good thing for him…"
"It would be the worst thing ever," his wife responded at once. "Just as a parent can't ever replace their only child with another one, he will never be able to replace Caleb with another cat. The animal had too much meaning for him; he was much more than a mere pet…"
The conversation ended then as Rabbi Hirsch approached them, her door duties done, and she had been joined by Elliott. "I am officially on an extended lunch break at Michelle's insistence," he said, and sat down beside Beats. He smiled, knowing that he would have to tell him what had happened after the meeting. There was too much to concentrate on now as the rabbi started to go through once again all that would be happening on their son's wedding day in eight days' time…
As Nick catered for the impromptu lunch party that his husband had decided to throw, he discretely checked his phone; there were a whole host of messages that he had been sent in private by family and close friends. He began to read through them quickly, starting with the one from his sister; she said that both she and Cooper were there for anything that they might need at this sad time. She also offered to have Wes to stay over if Jeff was really not coping and Nick needed to focus on him. He replied to her, thanking her for her concern, but went on to say that Jeff was actually coping really well… He ignored the little alarm bell in his head that was saying that his husband was coping much too well…
Trent had messaged him to say that he had spoken to Jeff, and that if they needed him, they were just to call, day or night. He also asked how Nick was feeling and told him to be honest with him in his response. That made Nick smile for just a moment, as it was such a Trent thing to do. He had been thoughtful enough to think of it, when the majority of their other friends would be focused on Jeff. He realised Nick supposed that it was hard to have to be continuously strong for someone else when you were grieving too…
He made a mental note to call Trent later, then moved on to the next message, which was from Sebastian. He noted it had been sent almost at the same time as Trent's message, then almost laughed when he read it, as Sebastian had in his own words done exactly what Trent had done in offering his support to Nick. The fact that he had was a sign of how mature they all now were; the Sebastian he had first encountered at Dalton wouldn't even have had time for Jeff's feelings, let alone be thoughtful enough to consider him…
