July 2031: A Death in the Family Part V.

The funeral had started at noon, but by the time that 1.30pm came, the crowd that had once filled the kitchen was beginning to shrink; nobody wanted to outstay their welcome, plus they all had things they needed to do before the wedding the following day. Soon only Thad remained to keep Mike and the Sterling-Duval family company. Mike had remained as he and Jeff had a task to complete in the garden, but they had both been finding a reason to put that moment off, neither having ventured outside again since they had watched the casket being lowered into the ground. As a result, they did not know yet how the spot now looked.

Thad as ever took the initiative and managed to get things on the move. "You usually go to the market at Union Square on a Saturday, but for obvious reasons you haven't been today," he remarked to Nick. Before the man in question could reply, he went on, "I'm free just now and the market is still going on, so why don't you and I head over there now and pick up your usual supplies? Wes could come with us and that would allow your husband and Mike to make a start on the difficult task that they have to perform outside in private."

He looked across at Jeff as he said those final words, and the blond nodded in response. "That sounds like a good idea, Thad, because it is going to be tough. It will be easier if there is just Mike to consider as I undertake it."

Nick looked concerned, and said, "If you are sure Jeffie… I mean, there is nothing that we couldn't manage without until next week."

"I am sure, Nicky, so off you all go, and no hurrying back either! We will be fine."

Nick wasn't quite so certain as his husband about that, so as he got ready to head out, he sent a quick text message to Tina to let her know what was happening; she could see into their garden from her home along the street and was perfectly placed to listen out for sounds of anguish. That done, he headed out and soon he and Thad were walking along 14th Street, with Wes just a little way ahead of them, the slight distance being enough to let Thad talk to Nick about the Dalton scholarship scheme and how he had managed to improve it, at no extra cost, through his careful budgeting and investment of funds.

"It all sounds great," Nick said when Thad finished, "but it will be entirely up to Wes to decide if he attends Dalton or not, when the time comes. If I am being honest, I am not entirely sure if I like the idea of my son being nearly 500 miles away at that age, even if you and Sebastian will be there."

"That is perfectly understandable, because not every boy can cope with being so far away from home at the age of 14. In any case, that is still a way off…" Thad responded. Nick nodded, but as he looked at his son walking in front of them, he suddenly felt a pang of anxiety that when the time did come, he might not be prepared to let his son make such a momentous choice after all…

Back at the house, neither Jeff nor Mike had moved from their seats when they heard the door close upstairs, and they knew they were alone; they both continued to nurse the glasses of juice they were holding. Then, however, they heard a familiar voice in the room. "You can put it off forever if you like, but in the end the task will still need to be performed by someone. On a side note, I must also point out that it is a warm day, and those plants will need to be attended to soon or they will not thrive. The last thing that either of you would wish to see marking Caleb's grave is a couple of half dead plants…"

"That's true Wes," said Jeff. "It is just hard to make the first step and head out there, because there will be a finality when I see that the hole has been filled in; then the scent of the catnip will evoke so many memories…"

"Good memories, but ones that will make us feel even sadder than we do as well," added Mike.

"That will happen to both of you for a long time, but what you need to remember is that this isn't strictly the end, as there is still a memorial stone to install as well. Only once that is there will you truly have reached the end…"

Jeff nodded, and then got to his feet, holding out a hand to Mike. "The one thing that Wes didn't say is what I am about to say now; the longer we put it off, the worse it will be…"

Mike got to his feet then and took off his suit jacket, leaving it draped over the back of the chair he had been in. Jeff did the same with his own, then they collected the trowels that they would need to dig the holes in which the plants would be placed. Once they made a start, it did not take them all that long to dig the holes and even less time to remove the two catnip plants from their pots. They then planted them one either side of the grave, which both realised was barely visible from a distance, the turf placed back so carefully that it was as if it had never been removed. They then watered the plants before they took a step back to admire their handiwork, the air already filling with the scent that Caleb had been so very fond of…

Somehow Mike was able to grab Jeff before he collapsed totally to the ground, almost as if he had been expecting him to fall apart. He held him up, even if they were both now down on their knees. Jeff was weeping, his body shaking as he sobbed; deep sobs that came from a broken heart. The dancer wanted to join him in weeping, but he held himself in check. When it came down to it, he had been an uncle to Caleb, not his owner; the pain that he felt had to be a fraction of that Jeff was feeling, as to him the cat had been almost a child…

He knew that the blond had been keeping strong since the day Caleb had passed and Mike had been wondering just how he had managed it for days. Now he knew the truth, that it was as so many had suspected an act for those around him. He had been putting on a brave face each morning and pretending not to be totally devastated by his loss. He knelt there with Jeff shaking in his arms, and he knew that he would remain there for as long as he was required to. There was no conversation, no words uttered by either party. Mike just let all of the pent-up grief that had been inside Jeff flood out, as the show was no longer required as the audience had dispersed…

Mike then felt a draught, and he knew that an angel was now there with them. He looked up, fully expecting to see Wes, but it was Kurt that had joined them, and he looked every bit as upset as Jeff was. He came over and whispered in Mike's ear. "Wes has gone to see Thad, to tell him to make an excuse to get Nick back here as soon as possible without telling him why and causing him distress. The fact is that Nick will need all of the strength that he has to be able to console Jeff right now…"

Mike knew that Kurt was right and nodded. His message delivered, Kurt moved round to the other side of the weeping blond and wrapped his own arms around the artist…

Meanwhile, Wes had managed to get Thad on his own, whilst Nick and little Wes were chatting to the lady on the fish stall. As Nick had hoped the previous week, she had managed to find another cat to benefit from the scraps that had once been a highlight of a Saturday for Caleb. She was busy telling them all about the cat in question when Wes came up and whispered in his husband's ear, then vanished as quickly as he had arrived. The fish bought, they moved on to the next stall, but Thad made a point of looking at his watch with concern. "I promised Ollie that I would pop in and see him this afternoon, and I hadn't realised just how late it was," he said. "I don't want to leave you in the lurch with all of the shopping, but we might need to cut our trip a little short…"

Nick smiled, then said, "I guess we should be getting back anyway; I am starting to get uneasy about how Jeff really is if I'm honest. My psychic bond is starting to tell me that I should be back beside him as soon as possible. Look. If you take Wes and pop across to that fruit stall over there and get me a couple of pounds of both cooking and eating apples and some pears as well, then I can head over to get the cheese and cooked meat I want from the deli stalls."

Thad agreed and Nick hastened off, leaving the Head Warbler alone with his son. As they walked towards the fruit stall in question, little Wes turned to Thad and asked, "Why was Uncle Wes here? I didn't want to ask whilst dad was here, but he was whispering in your ear a minute ago. It's to do with papa, isn't it? We need to hurry home because he has become really upset again and he needs dad, not just Uncle Mike…"

Thad shook his head, then said half to himself, "You really do take after him…" Then he said directly to the boy before him, "Don't tell you dad, but you are right. He is really upset, to the extent that I think you will need to spend the night with your Aunt Grace so that your dad can sort him out…"

Wes nodded in understanding, then said, "A sleepover at Aunt Grace's house would be fun; it would also give papa time to be really honest with dad about how he is feeling…"

"Not a word about it to your dad for now though," Thad reminded him, then they were choosing what sort of eating apples Wes wanted. The boy chose some as they were his papa's favourite sort, and Thad smiled as he added the cooking apples, the pears, and on a whim, some blackberries… He placed them all in his bag, and then headed in the direction of the stall Nick had gone to; they were barely halfway there when the man in question appeared, in a rush…

"Right, that is everything; shall we get off home?" The question was rhetorical, as Nick walked off towards the exit as soon as he finished, Thad and Wes following in his wake. The former could see that something had changed in Nick's demeanour, and he guessed that his soulmate bond was now screaming at him to get home as Jeff needed him now. That was confirmed when for the second week in a row, Nick hailed a taxi. He was anxious for the whole of the short trip, so when they reached the West Village, Thad told him to head straight in and that he would pay and bring in the shopping….

As his father virtually sprinted into the house, something told Wes that he should not follow at the same pace, but instead hang back and help his Uncle Thad to bring in the shopping. He placed the bags he had carried in down in the hallway, his mind telling him he should go no further and his senses agreeing. He turned to Thad and said, "I am going to go upstairs and pack an overnight bag in case I need to go and stay with Aunt Grace. Dad already looked out my clothes for the wedding tomorrow and has put them all in a suit bag, so all I need to pack is my nightclothes, and fresh socks and underwear."

Thad nodded, then as the boy headed up the stairs, he picked up the majority of the bags and headed down with caution to the kitchen, not sure what he would find there. As he stepped into the room, Mike was coming in from the garden, his face tear-stained and etched with pain. On seeing the Head Warbler, Mike said, "Jeff has broken down, but I am guessing that someone already told you that."

Thad nodded, hearing all of the emotions that Mike himself was feeling at that point in his voice. "My husband," he replied quietly. Then he began to unpack the bags of shopping, knowing that he had to get the fresh stuff that needed to be kept cool stored away to avoid it spoiling in the heat of summer. On autopilot, Mike came over and helped him with the task, knowing exactly where Nick liked things put, to the extent that he actually moved a couple of items that Thad had already put away to the places the brunet would wish to find them. That task done, he turned to the Head Warbler and asked in a hushed voice, "Where is Wes?"

"He is upstairs in his room, packing an overnight bag as a precaution. Given how Jeff is, it might be easier for them all if he spends the night with his aunt, uncle and cousins and lets his dads deal with things one-on-one."

"Yeah, that would probably be advisable, as Jeff is in a really bad way," Mike said sadly. "He isn't going to be any use to anyone for the rest of the day, and it would be simpler for Nick if he only had to keep his eyes on his blond child…"

At that moment Nick walked back in from the garden, and the fact that he was alone did concern both Thad and Mike for a moment. "It's okay," he responded to the two concerned faces. "He has Kurt and Wes with him right now, administering to him as only angels can. Wes mentioned something about sending our boy to spend the night with Grace; it isn't something I would normally even consider, but well, on this occasion… Can you sort that for me, Thad? Tell my boy that I love him, but that tonight, papa needs all of my attention…"

"He's a smart kid, so he already knew that," Thad replied softly. "I will get Wes to Grace and Cooper's place, don't worry. I will call you in the morning to see where the ground lies after a night's sleep…"

"Yeah, that would be for the best. The truth is right now that given how bad Jeff is, we might have to give the wedding a miss…"

Mike would leave at the same time as Thad and Wes, the Head Warbler having called Nick's sister; she had understood exactly why Wes was coming to stay with her that night without any need for a long explanation. They said goodbye to Mike on the sidewalk, then Thad guided his young charge back along the street in the direction of the subway, which was the quickest way of reaching Murray Hill on a Saturday afternoon. As they travelled on the two trains that were needed, Wes was strangely silent, and that concerned Thad; he was worried that the boy might be about to fall apart as well.

However, as they walked the short distance from the subway to the Hummel-Warbler house, Wes turned to Thad and asked, "If I do decide to come to Dalton, Uncle Thad, will I live in the dorms that you are in charge of?"

Thad was perplexed a little by those words, as they had come out of the blue, but he didn't show it. "Yes, that is the plan; that way I can keep a close eye on you for your dads, plus it won't feel quite so strange for you as you will know me at least."

Wes nodded, then said, "Would I be the only boy there that would be on the scholarship scheme? I don't know if I would like it if I was."

"No, there will be another boy that will be a freshman along with you that is eligible, but unlike you, his parents are not giving him any choice in the matter; I was worried about that at first, but from what I can gather, he is really looking forward to coming anyway. His name is Timothy Hart."

"I am glad I wouldn't be the only one, if I did come," Wes replied thoughtfully. He had heard the other boy's name before in passing, but he had no memory of ever meeting him; his parents were part of his dads' friendship circle, but they lived far away in the Bible Belt, and they rarely came to visit the city…

Their conversation quickly moved on to other things, the kind of innocent questions that small boys the world over asked adults, and Thad did his best to answer them. Quite a few of the questions concerned India and what Thad had seen there; he hadn't even finished answering the last question about the Taj Mahal when he found himself outside the door of Cooper and Grace's home in Murray Hill. He knocked and the door was opened by Grace herself and she invited Thad to come in. His initial intention had been that he would decline such overtures, but Wes was keen to hear the rest of his answer and probably to ask a few more questions, so he relented and went in. Sitting in Grace's kitchen, he did his utmost to satisfy the natural curiosity that was on display before him, much to her amusement.

She brought Thad a cup of coffee, and he was almost finished it when Wes was finally out of questions; seeing that, his aunt sent him upstairs to unpack his bag. As soon as he was gone, she was finally able to speak to Thad herself and ask him a few things in confidence. "How bad is it? Jeff seemed to be so put together earlier and I am struggling to believe that he can have fallen apart so swiftly… Having said that, Cooper did seem less certain about how he was coping before he had to run off to his matinee…"

"An actor can spot an act I guess," mused Thad. "When I left them, he was slumped on the lawn by Caleb's grave, with Nick at his side. Mike offered to stay with them, but Nick said no; all he asked us to do was take them out a jug of juice and the cookie tin – and an umbrella. I get the feeling that he is expecting to be there for a long time and there are showers forecast this evening…"

Grace nodded, all too aware of the weather forecast, but she was hopeful her brother was just erring on the side of caution a little too much. "Does he have his cellphone with him?"

"He does, but don't call him; send a message instead, as he can read it without taking his attention off Jeff. Your brother knows his husband very well, and I have a suspicion that he was expecting this moment to happen at some point. In fact, I think that Wes felt the same way, given how calm he is being about it all…"

Grace smiled, and said, "He is frighteningly mature for his age."

"Just like his namesake, or so David tells me," replied Thad. He glanced at his watch then and continued, "You will need to excuse me now, as I promised that I would visit Ollie this afternoon, and he well be thinking that I have managed to get lost somewhere downtown…"

A few minutes later, as he sat on a bus that would take him closer to his brother's apartment than the subway would, he wondered how Nick was getting on. Grief was a terrible thing for anyone, but it seemed to have taken hold of Jeff in the most extreme of ways, although not quite as badly as it had taken hold of himself when Wes had died, and he had tried to follow him. All he could hope was that Jeff's recovery from his breakdown would be as swift as the way he had fallen into it…

Back in the West Village, an anxious Kurt had now been joined by Blaine; the two of them were keeping a careful watch over Niff from the kitchen door, the couple still out in the same spot in the garden. In the distant reaches of his memory, Kurt recalled being told by Trent that on the day that Jeff had fallen apart in that post-Hunter Warblers' meeting in their senior year at Dalton, the scene had resembled the one that was now before him in the West Village garden; Jeff curled up into a ball, Nick just holding him as closely as he could, saying nothing, just trying to let him feel all of the love that he had for him through touch alone…

"At least the garden isn't overlooked by anyone that doesn't know them," Blaine whispered all of a sudden. "That means that if the rain does start to fall, we could hold the umbrella up over them and nobody would think it was strange…" Kurt nodded, although they could always ensure that nobody would think anything of it even if they witnessed a levitating umbrella, although the dream state was always a very last resort for an angel.

Nick knew that the two angels were watching over them, but he was certain that Jeff did not know; he would think that they were completely alone in the world, if he was currently even conscious of the world at all. In fact, he wasn't even certain Jeff knew he was there… When his husband had broken down in the Senior Commons all those years ago, it had been bad, and afterwards he had admitted to Nick that he had actually had an out of body experience and had been able to look down on himself and Nick…

He could only hold him and hope that he could feel all of the love. He also wondered if Wes was as okay as he had seemed with all that was going on; he hoped that seeing his papa in the state that he was in would not have a long-term effect on him and give him nightmares. He had sent a quick text to thank his sister for having Wes to stay, but she had not responded. He assumed that she would know that he had his hands full from Thad and that he would only send her messages that were vital; she would also be aware that the last thing he needed was unnecessary distractions. He gently stroked his husband's hair, wondering just what exactly was going on inside his head right now, and how long he would be away from them all this time…

It would be almost 10pm when Nick felt the change in the tension in his husband's body and he now knew instinctively that his husband was back with him in his mind at last. The sun had of course set by then and that was what brought the gasp of surprise from the blond. "Oh my! Nicky, what time is it?"

"About ten minutes to ten my love," replied Nick softly, then he waited for the information to sink in…

"I've been here for almost eight hours, or rather, my body has been. I wasn't here all that time, was I?"

"No, you were somewhere else, but that is absolutely fine, because I know that you had to go and pay that place a visit so that you could start to feel better…" said Nick, before softly kissing his husband's forehead.

Jeff nodded, then looked up at Nick. "I bottled all of the emotions up because I thought that I had to be strong for everyone else. I thought that I was ready for losing him, but when the moment came it transpired that I really wasn't ready at all…" He let out a sigh of despair and turned his eyes away from his husband again.

"I don't think anyone is ever truly ready for the death of someone that they love very much, no matter how long in advance we know the event is coming. Even when all of the signposts are pointing at the conclusion, we can lose our way so quickly when the reality hits home," Nick said gently, still stroking his husband's hair…

"I know that this is going to sound awful, but when the time comes, I want to be the first of the two of us to die, because I just couldn't manage any of this without you…"

Nick said nothing in response to Jeff's statement, knowing that his husband would not be expecting a reply in any case. He could not promise anything, as such things were out with a mere mortal's control. However, he also hoped that it would be the case, even if he would be left distraught, as he could not imagine watching from heaven as his beautiful husband fell apart and had no-one to comfort him….

"Okay, let's get back inside, because after so long you must be ravenous and, in all honesty, I am quite hungry too. Then we shall have an early night and see what tomorrow brings…"

The rain fell steadily through the night, but by dawn the clouds had all dispersed and the sun shone from a clear blue sky by the time that Beats was eating his breakfast the following morning. Elliott had prepared quite a substantial repast for the family that morning, with French toast, bacon and fried potatoes; Beats, however, ate very little of it as he was still greatly stressed by the fact that it was his son's wedding day and there was so much taking place. He was still getting his head around all of the ceremonies that made up a Jewish wedding. True, he had witnessed them all before at Flint's wedding, but that had been so long ago now that it was almost as if it had happened in another life…

That stress was not helping his eyes of course; they seemed to be worse than ever that morning, even with his glasses on. Like his blond neighbour, however, he was trying to portray the image of a calm, graceful swan, hoping that nobody would see the frantic movements that he was making underneath the water. The fact that Dante had spent the night with them was a good thing, although he still railed a little at the fact that he had needed to, so as to appease one of Lachlan's great-aunts, who stated she fully embraced modern life and all its conventions, apart from the old rule which stated that a couple should not see each other on the night before the wedding…

Nobody else had really cared, but to prevent her making a scene at the synagogue later, it had proved expedient for them to be apart; not even Lachlan in his old bedroom at home and Dante in their garden apartment had been acceptable to her way of thinking. That had not stopped them sending each other text messages through the evening, so in part at least her plan had been foiled. Now that his wedding day had arrived, Dante was starting to feel nerves that had never existed for him before; not even when he had undergone his final conversion ceremony to Judaism had he felt quite so scared of every little thing, and it showed at the breakfast table…

"In a way, Beats and I were luckier than you and Lachlan on our wedding day," Elliott suddenly announced, which attracted the attention of Beats as well as Dante. "We did not have time for nerves because it all happened so fast…"

Dante opened his mouth to respond, but his other dad managed to get there first. "Don't even try to claim that you weren't nervous that day, Elliott! Everyone that has ever married anyone in all of time is nervous before the ceremony! I mean, Jeff had a full-blown crisis and thought that Nick didn't love him and was only marrying him out of pity not long before they married, and Niff are the dream couple! However, at least because we did things in such a rush we didn't have as long to stress out…"

"I would have to add that those that get married whilst drunk probably also avoid the worst of the nerves. I bet that Dave and Sebastian weren't nervous at all that night in Vegas in the presence of Elvis…"

Dante had to laugh at that, and Beats did too, his stressed relieved a little by the light-hearted banter of his husband. They finished their breakfast, then dispatched Dante to take a relaxing bath, something that turned out to be exactly what he needed to reduce his tension. With Ty off to his room, Elliott asked the question that had been at the back of Beats' mind since he had woken up. "Do you think that Jeff will be with us at the synagogue this morning? I get the sense that he was on edge pretty much all day yesterday; I can't help but think that once we had all taken our leave, he would have fallen apart…"

Beats sighed, and replied, "In all honesty, I do not know. He can be so emotional when it comes to the little traumas that life throws at us. You know of course that he had a breakdown during his senior year at Dalton, which was no surprise given all that he had been through, and he recovered well enough from that. Yes, that did take time, and a certain brunet realising he was in love with him might have helped, but in my opinion, this is nowhere near as major… Nobody he loved ended up being hurt in all of this, no-one's life was turned upside down and he can't blame himself for Caleb reaching old age. I know that he has been looking forward to attending the wedding, so he will do his upmost to be there, even if he has to put on his mask again and pretend that everything is fine."

Elliott nodded, then said, "I am sure that Nick will call us if there is any change of plan; he will of course also be in a state if our favourite blond has fallen apart…"

"As a good soulmate should…"

"They are a pretty perfect couple all in all; no secrets between them," remarked Elliott. As he said it, he fixed his gaze on Beats, and somehow that made the beatboxer's blood run cold. Then without another word, Elliott got up and started to clear the table. Beats was pretty certain that his comment had not been a random, off the cuff remark, and that his husband suspected that he was keeping something from him, and to his shame, he was. That fact heightened the guilt that he now felt, and he resolved that the moment that the wedding was over, he would sit down with Elliott, and tell him how much his eyes had deteriorated in the last year…