Hope feels far, so far
Out in the distance
Without a witness
The sky above so dark
The answer is hiding
Pitch black and blinding

Sending a search light
I'm gonna find you
Wherever you are now
Is where I will run to
Sending a search light
I'm gonna find you
You're out in the dark
I'm gonna find you

- "Search Light" by Jason Walker


Nightmares should be full of darkness. Shadows. Sinister monsters lurking just out of sight. But as the Quinjet descended through the clouds to the snowy Siberian peak below, blinding white in the sunlight, Bucky felt as though he were being dropped into the worst nightmare of all.

He'd never wanted to come back here. There were several bases like this one in the area, but this was the only one he actually remembered. And when he'd run off with Steve and Sam, he'd hoped to leave all of those terrible memories in the dust. But Hydra hadn't let him go that easily. They were like a riptide, sucking him under again and again and again...

Someone nudged him, and he looked up to find Sam eyeing him as everyone got to their feet, checking their weapons one last time. With a deep breath, Bucky pushed himself to his feet as well. This wouldn't be anything like those awful, hazy memories in his past. Steve and Sam were at his side. The others had his back as well. He had a whole team supporting him now.

Besides, this wasn't about him. This was about rescuing...the children. He could be strong for them.

"I'm not picking up any heat signatures," Tony's voice said in his earpiece. He and Rhodey had flown ahead to scout the area.

"Any chance the rock could be blocking your equipment?" Steve asked.

"I guess it's possible..." Tony said, his tone clearly conveying how low that possibility was.

"Stay sharp," Steve said to everyone in the Quinjet as Clint brought it down a safe distance from the base. "We still don't know exactly what we're walking into."

The hatch opened, letting in a rush of freezing air. Bucky's limbs locked into place as the cold breeze touched him. Cold, ice, pain, fear—

Steve glanced over his shoulder, and Bucky immediately found himself moving to join him. He needs me. They need me.

Together, Steve and Bucky led the way out of the Quinjet and across the snowy plateau to the small outcropping that hid the entrance to the base. Nothing moved except for lazy swirls of snow, but Bucky kept his rifle at the ready just in case. When they reached the heavy metal doors leading down into the base, he could tell from the way the snow had drifted against it and the ice caked the lock that those doors hadn't been opened very recently.

A few blows of the vibranium shield broke the lock, and he and Steve hauled the doors open while the others covered them. But no shots burst from the darkness within. Still no movement from the snowy hillside, besides Tony and Rhodey checking the smaller structures hidden among the rocks, where they used to keep vehicles and extra supplies.

Steve entered the base first, shield at the ready. Bucky followed close on his heels, feeling as though they were entering the ancient lair of a dragon. An evil dragon with many heads.

Their flashlight beams cut through the darkness, revealing the cold, dusty entryway with little to look at but the open door of an elevator. The majority of the base was underground, and this was the quickest way in. There was also a back door, which led to a natural cave system that ran to the other side of the mountain. Tony and Rhodey would be going to check that out once they were done up top.

"We're going to need the power turned on," Steve said, peering into the elevator.

"Bingo," Tony's voice said in their ears. "Just found the master switch. How's this?"

In a moment, ancient lights flickered to life, and a humming sound came from the elevator. "Thanks," Steve said, testing the elevator with his foot before stepping inside, to make sure it would hold his weight.

Bucky and Sam followed him into the elevator, but there wasn't enough room for the other four. After studying the floor plans Bucky had sketched out, they'd decided to split up in order to cover more ground. Steve nodded to the others as Sam pulled the metal grate closed. "We'll take the west corridor; you take the east. Keep in contact. If you see anything, let us know right away."

"You got it," Clint said, while Natasha, Wanda, and Vision nodded.

'Anything' could encompass quite a lot, Bucky thought as he punched the button and the elevator jerked into motion. Children...the other Winter Soldiers...decaying corpses...

As they moved steadily downward, Bucky felt the others' eyes on him. He drew a breath and raised his head to meet their concerned gazes. Steve's eyes locked onto his, asking a silent question. Will you be okay?

Bucky gave him a single nod, clenching his jaw against the fear that shivered down his spine. I have you.

All too soon, the elevator reached the bottom. Steve pulled the grate open. Bucky tensed as he raised his weapon. Checked both directions.

But there was no sign of movement. Not a single sound. Just a fluorescent light flickering farther down the hallway. Steve gestured for the others to follow him, leading the way to the west. They kept quiet as they continued down the corridor. Bucky strained his senses for any indication that they weren't alone.

Though no one had brought it up, Bucky knew why Steve had chosen the west side of the base for the three of them. It was the part of the base Bucky knew best. The part where they had held him. Where they had kept the other Winter Soldiers. So if the other Soldiers were still here, they were most likely to run into them this way.

After a long, straight stretch, the hallway eventually branched off into corridors to either side. The guards' living quarters. Not much left behind—bare iron bed frames, a few chairs and tables—but no personal effects. No signs that the place had been inhabited anytime recently.

Next came the medical wing. Several small, cell-like rooms with a lock on the outside only. Narrow beds. Leather restraints. Some of the larger medical equipment. But no supplies, no paperwork. Just an occasional brownish stain on the floor.

They didn't linger there very long either.

More cold concrete hallways painted a dingy green. One final corner, and then...two huge steel doors. They were open. Was that ominous? It seemed ominous.

A huge, circular room. Only a few lights still worked. The rest of the room lurked in shadows, the backdrop of his worst nightmares.

And there it was. Middle of the room, as if in a place of honor. The Chair. The machine. Restraints tightening around his arms, locking around his legs. Metal plates against his temples. A moment of terror. Then they'd flip the switch and pour electricity right into his brain, filling him up with so much pain that he couldn't think, couldn't remember, not even his own name, until he was empty and ready to take their poison, and that was all he was, just the Words the pain the fear ready to comply readytocomplyreadyto—

"Buck."

A gentle pressure just above his elbow brought Bucky back to himself. He looked up at Steve, who gave him a look of sympathy and gently pushed on the gun in Bucky's hands. Bucky suddenly realized he was pointing it at the Chair, his finger on the trigger. He was breathing as hard as if they had just shoved him back into the restraints.

With difficulty, he lowered his weapon and tore his gaze away. Right...no time for that now. Had to focus. They had bigger problems. Such as...the Winter Soldiers.

He whipped around to look at the walls, where cryo tanks were lined up, waiting to be used... That one on the end was his, where they would shove him away after they were through with him, and he'd have no idea of when he would be able to open his eyes again...

No, no, don't think about that now! he snarled to himself, forcing his feet to move towards the next cryo tank. Which...was empty.

He froze. Looked slowly around at all six cryo tanks. Blinked, then looked again, sure his mind was playing tricks on him.

They were all empty.

"What the..." Numbly, Bucky looked back at Steve, then at Sam, who was prowling around the room in the other direction. Steve nodded, indicating he'd noticed it too. All of the cryo tanks stood open and empty, with no blinking lights or condensation on the glass or curling steam...

"They're gone," Steve said grimly, raising his hand to his earpiece to make sure the others heard as well. "The Winter Soldiers aren't here anymore."

"You mean they're walking free somewhere?" Rhodey's voice asked incredulously.

"No," Bucky murmured, wandering down the line of empty cryo tanks. "If they were out in the world...we'd know. They speak thirty languages...can hide in plain sight...infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize... They can take a whole country down in one night and you'd never see them coming. But you'd know afterwards."

"Would they, though?" Sam asked from the next tank over. "Or if they got free themselves...would they end up like you?"

Bucky thought for a minute, his stomach churning, but finally he shook his head. "They're Hydra's most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history...and that was before the serum. They liked what they did. They volunteered."

"I thought you said they rebelled in the end," Clint said.

Bucky nodded, though he knew Clint couldn't see. "Which is why Hydra would never let them out of cryo."

"And they didn't break out," Steve said, running a hand over the intact, if dusty, glass of one of the tanks. "If they'd woken up after the machines stopped working, they'd have to break the glass."

"You're sure Hydra didn't just shoot the Soldiers when they rebelled?" Sam asked Bucky. "They definitely put them on ice?"

Bucky nodded. "I saw it." As the one Winter Soldier who could be completely controlled, he'd been acting as Colonel Karpov's personal security guard. He remembered men dying all around him, some at his hands, most being mowed down by four brutal men and one ruthless woman...

He shook his head tightly, trying to banish the memories. He would be nothing but a liability to the others if he fell to pieces now...but it was so hard not to think about how that woman...the Angel...

"So Hydra's taken them somewhere else," Steve said, breaking into his thoughts. "They must have other plans for them."

"We're not finding much in this direction, Cap," Natasha said. "There's a bit of medical equipment, but they've cleaned the place out pretty good. Looks like they've been gone for quite a while, too."

Steve sighed, his shoulders sagging a little. "So it's a dead end after all."

"Uh...maybe not quite." That was Tony. "We found the closet where they keep the skeletons."

Bucky drew in a breath of alarm. Skeletons?

"Wait, not real skele—" Tony hastily backtracked. "It's, it's a file room."

Steve brightened at this. "Maybe we'll find some answers there." He put his shield away, already heading for the door as Tony gave them directions to the other side of the base. Bucky and Sam followed close on his heels.

Bucky was more relieved than he wanted to admit to leave that huge open room behind. He'd known that it would be hard to come back here, but he'd told himself that he was strong enough to handle it. He'd tried so hard to convince himself that it would be easier with Steve at his side.

But you're not strong enough, a whisper snaked into his mind, as if from the deep shadows of the corridor they walked down. It's a good thing the Winter Soldiers weren't here after all, because you'd be in no shape to fight them. Even better that the children aren't here. What can you hope to offer them? You're broken worse than they are.

He shook his head to make the voice shut up as they rounded the last corner and came to the room Tony and Rhodey had found. Through the open door, he could see Clint and Wanda wandering down a long row of shelves lined with file boxes. Down the next row, Natasha stood digging through a box stuffed with papers.

Only when he stepped through the door did Bucky realize how big the room was. This wasn't just some closet with a few shelves of forgotten files. The room stretched in all directions, the far wall hard to make out in the dim illumination of the few light bulbs that still worked. At a glance, the room looked as large as the basement of the Avengers compound. And every inch of it was filled with dusty boxes of Hydra's files.

"There you are." Tony emerged from the stacks several rows down, his helmet retracted into his suit. He was carrying a box that rattled with something other than paper.

"Hydra's top-secret files," Tony said, gesturing to the room with a sweep of his arm. "Looks like they go back further than the ones we got from S.H.I.E.L.D. Only problem?" He pulled out a narrow black box and waved it with a frustrated look. What was that thing called again? A video tape? Bucky had seen pictures.

"It's not digital," Tony said, dropping the tape back into the box. "If it was, I could scan for the information we need, but it'll take ages to go through all of this manually."

"I can't find much rhyme or reason to the way they've organized these files," Natasha added, poking her head out into the aisle. "It's like they just stuffed everything onto the shelves in a big hurry."

"Guess they had to bug out when you leaked the files," Sam said, "and they couldn't just take all this crap with them."

Steve sighed, shaking his head at the innumerable shelves staring them down. "We don't have time for this."

He was right. While they stood here talking, Hydra could be doing any number of horrendous things to those poor children. They might be putting the finishing touches on whatever their plans were for the other Winter Soldiers. Bucky was itching to do something. He'd been psyching himself up for the raid on this base, and he thought he'd go crazy if he didn't have some outlet for all of this nervous energy.

"I...do have an idea..." he said hesitantly. He licked his lips nervously when everyone looked at him. "I don't...know for sure...but I have some idea of where a couple of the nearest bases might be."

"Really? Anything else you didn't feel like sharing?" Tony asked testily.

Bucky dropped his gaze to the floor. It had just been one glimpse of a map that one time...and he'd figured there was a greater chance of them finding answers here...but Tony was right. There were a lot of things he probably should have said sooner.

Steve shifted slightly, subtly stepping between the two of them. "That would be helpful," he said to Bucky. "Even if you can only point us in the general direction, we can scan for signs of life and find the base that way."

"And what about all this?" Rhodey asked, gesturing around the room. "Do we just leave it here? 'Cause I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't think we can fit all this in the back of the Quinjet."

"We will need to go through those files eventually," Steve said. "But we can worry about that later. For now, we have a base to find."


Bucky stared down at his interlocked fingers in his lap, deaf to the others' quiet voices and the sound of the Quinjet's engines. He'd given them all the locations he could remember, and Tony was at work scanning for signs of life. Hopefully, they would soon find out whether there was any chance of them learning the truth. Or if all they would find were the whispers of ghosts.

He only looked up when he felt someone's shoulder brush against his. Steve sat down next to him, giving him a small half-smile that somehow made him look more worried than he had before. "You okay?" he said in a voice pitched so only Bucky could hear.

Bucky dropped his gaze back to his hands and nodded.

Steve sighed and leaned his elbows on his knees. "No, you're not," he muttered. "I know it was hard on you...going back there."

The memories of the base they'd just left were scratching at the edges of his vision, but he blinked them away. "Doesn't matter now. We've got more important things to think about."

Their eyes met, and he knew that they were both on the same page.

He licked his lips, mouth suddenly gone dry. "What...What if we can't find them? What if the records are wrong, or...what if they just...stopped everything, and...and we'll never find them, because they're—"

"Buck." Steve's hand covered his, and only then did Bucky realize he was trembling. Or was that Steve's hand trembling in his?

"Look at me."

Bucky obeyed, gripping Steve's hand like a lifeline.

"We're going to learn the truth, one way or another." His voice was filled with an unshakable conviction. "After that...we'll see. We just have to take it one step at a time."

With a nod, Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just...not sure if I'm more excited or scared, you know?"

This time, the smile smoothed the worried lines in Steve's forehead. "I know what you mean. Neither of us were prepared for this. But, you know...maybe you can't prepare. Not really. You just figure it out as you go."

Bucky saw the wistful expression on Steve's face, and he looked away without voicing his thoughts. How could he tell Steve the thoughts that had been plaguing him ever since they'd found out about Project Legacy? That maybe, if they got there and found out that all the children were dead already, it would actually be better. Because then he wouldn't have to worry about failing someone else. He wouldn't have to live every day facing the ultimate fallout of the Winter Soldier program. And she wouldn't have to live with a person who was so hurt himself that he wouldn't be able to help her...

But that was a terrible way to think. It was like wishing they were dead. How could he wish something like that?

"What are you thinking?" Steve's voice broke into his thoughts.

He couldn't tell Steve exactly what was going through his mind, so instead he simply said, "What if they're dead? All of them? Or...Or even just some of them? I...I know I don't need to...be thinking about that, but..."

Steve squeezed his hand and sighed heavily. "I know. I keep thinking about that too. Of course...we hope for the best. But if they are gone, then...well, at least they aren't suffering anymore."

Bucky swallowed hard. And at least we didn't know them, so it's not like we'll know what we're missing.

The words sounded hollow, even in his own head.

He was afraid to look Steve in the eye, afraid that if he did, Steve would be able to read his thoughts. Maybe that was a foolish worry, but he couldn't shake it. "And if they're alive?"

Steve's voice softened, and Bucky could hear a hopeful smile in it even without looking. "Then we'll do right by them. We'll get them out of there. And we'll bring them home."

He glanced over at Steve, taking in his optimistic smile, and a small portion of the weight on his heart lifted. He hoped, for Steve's sake, that at least one of the children had survived. No matter what he thought of himself, Bucky knew that Steve was well up to the challenge. Besides...they would help each other.

With Steve at his side, he could get through anything. Even something as terrifying as this.


I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

- John 14:18