Chapter 15: Pony Tsunortori's Minotaur Adventure
"I'm sorry…" Momo said, talking in Latin. "Your name is… Pony?"
"That's right! Pony Tsunotori!" the minotaur answered her, still wearing the same dopey smile she had when Melissa brought her in alongside Uraraka and Bakugou.
To be honest, she didn't look like a minotaur. Sure, she had horns, a cow-like tail and ears, and rounded calves, with hooves for feet… but that was it. Everything else about her looked pretty human. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, the rest of her body was fairly normal, and to top it off, aside from her horns and ears her face was… completely human-looking.
She didn't have a cow head like in those classic myths Momo read as a kid.
And to make things even weirder, she was actually shorter than Momo herself.
"So… just to be clear… you're a minotaur?" Tsuburaba asked.
Pony nodded. "That's right."
"So… you're basically a cowgirl, right?"
"I've been called that before, yeah."
I don't like where this conversation is going, Momo thought to herself.
"Then… Why is your chest so small?"
SMACK!
"Ow! What the –?!"
"TSUBURABA, YOU PERV!" Uraraka shouted. "YOU CAN'T ASK A GIRL THAT!"
Momo sighed, thinking, I guessed correctly.
"Congratulations, Monsterfucker #2, you filled your daily quota of horny," Bakugou said.
"It was just a question!" Tsuburaba tried to defend himself.
"Yeah, for science and shit!" Kaibara added on.
"DON'T ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER!" Uraraka shouted, before she turned back towards Pony. "I am so sorry about those two! We don't mean to be offensive –"
"Actually, his question was pretty valid," Pony interrupted her.
"Wait, it was?" Bakugou was dumbfounded.
"Wait, it was? I mean, of course it was!" Tsuburaba said.
"I mean, most minotaurs are easily taller than most humans, but I'm actually a runt," Pony explained. "It's also why my chest isn't as big as all of the others'. I'm pretty small."
"Wait… how big are we talking here?" Kaibara asked.
"Mmm… Well, aside from me, the second shortest member of our tribe is around seventy-two inches tall… and in terms of bust size… the second smallest would be around her size."
Momo might have let out a small squeak when Pony pointed at her chest.
Meanwhile, Kaibara and Tsuburaba just stared at each other.
"Dude…?"
"Duuude."
They both cheered, ""WE JUST HIT THE JACKPOT!""
SMACK! SMACK!
"Ouch!"
"Uraraka!"
"STOP BEING PERVS, BOTH OF YOU!" Uraraka shouted.
"Wait a minute," Bakugou said. "If you're the literal runt of an entire village, then why did they keep you around? From what I could gather, you don't seem like someone who could offer your tribe any skills, so from how I understand it, you're just an extra mouth to feed."
"Bakugou, don't be rude!" Kirishima said.
"You're right," Pony said. "Compared to the other minotaurs, I'm weaker. If it wasn't for the fact that my mother was the chieftess, I probably wouldn't have lived for as long as I have."
"Your mother?" Momo asked.
"Kau Redi," Pony said. "Tsunotori is my dad's family name, and I took it when he died. But yeah, my mom is the village chieftess… or was the chieftess, before… he showed up."
"He?" Melissa inquired.
"Minotaurus. He's some sort of cross between a cyclops and a minotaur. Blue skin, one red eye, and completely massive. He showed up a week ago, acting all big and scary, and now he's terrorizing my village!" Pony said, before smiling. "But it'll be fine, because you're now here!"
"Us?" Bakugou asked. "What does this have to do with us?"
"Because you're summoned heroes!"
Every single person in the room blinked at what the minotaur had to say.
"I'm sorry… could you repeat that?" Momo asked.
"You're the wielders of the Arms of Fire!" Pony said. "You've returned to liberate my people! You even have an angel alongside you! That is proof of your heroic nature!"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down… you're saying we're some sort of chosen heroes?" Kaibara asked.
"Not chosen, summoned," Pony corrected him. "From a far away land."
"Uh-huh… and what sort of proof do you have of such a claim?" Bakugou asked.
Pony simply pointed towards the assault rifle on Momo's back.
"Wh-what?"
Bakugou, meanwhile, smacked his face. "Godammit."
"Bakugou, what is it?" Uraraka asked.
"Arms of Fire. Firearms. GUNS. This cowgirl and her people have been duped into thinking that guns are some sort of legendary weapons," the blond groaned. "Ugh… um, Tsunotori-san, could you please tell us what you know about the first Arms of Fire wielder?"
The minotaur nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! Legends say that the first wielder appeared many centuries ago, from a mythical kingdom known as the Land of the Lonely Star –"
SMACK!
Okay, now, Momo was starting to get concerned. "Bakugou?!"
"God-fucking-dammit," the spiky blond cursed.
"What happened this time?" Kirishima asked.
"The Land of the Lonely Star. The Lone Star State. TEXAS," the demolition expert said. "Whatever idiot got isekai'd here, he was from America, and he brought his guns with him!"
"But wait, that makes no sense!" Momo interjected. "Pony said he appeared several centuries ago, but this model of assault rifle were carrying is an M4 carbine! These things didn't come to the market until the early 1980's! They shouldn't have been in production whatsoever!"
"Maybe time flows differently in this world?" Uraraka suggested. "There's a theory out there that suggests that time in different dimensions flows differently. So, maybe the guy went missing in our world roughly thirty years ago, but he appeared in this one centuries earlier?"
"Wait, but if that's the case, why did time march at the same rate while we were gone from Japan on our first mission?" Tsuburaba asked. "If what you're saying is accurate, then shouldn't we have been gone for like, a second, rather than an entire month, from Japan's perspective?"
"Maybe when the gate appeared, our time flows synchronized?"
"Regardless of how it happened, someone from your recent history ended up influencing an entire culture when they arrived here," Melissa said, getting everyone's attention. "But, hey, on the bright side, we now know where the hidden village we were looking for is."
"Yeah, right beneath our feet, held hostage by a giant monster," Bakugou said.
"Not to mention, we're still trapped inside their security system of a labyrinth, and we probably have a limited time before Monoma thinks up and we died," Kaibara added.
BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA!
"ROOOOOAAAR!"
"DIE, YOU REPTILIAN SCUM!" Monoma laughed. "DIIIIIE! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA!
"All right, let me think," Momo said. Looking back at the minotaur, she asked, "Tsunotori-san, do your people happen to know how to navigate the labyrinth we are in towards the exit?"
"Of course," Pony answered. "This labyrinth was our security system designed to keep out intruders. Only minotaurs know how to make it from one end of the maze to the other. Which only makes Minotaurus' arrival extra weird, since he's too big to fit inside the entrance."
Momo hummed. "I see… all right, I guess we will help in your people's liberation."
"What?!"
"Lieutenant!"
Momo turned back to her troops. "Look, I didn't sign up for this either, but we have no choice. It's either that, or wandering around the labyrinth aimlessly until we starve to death. Your call."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Uuuugh… guess we gotta go kill some monsters," Bakugou sighed. "Again."
Momo smiled. "Glad to hear you're on board. Now let's go."
The team began making their way down to the subterranean habitat of the minotaurs through the staircase Kirishima and Tsuburaba found when entering the maze's center. As Pony explained, the stairs were carved out from the walls of their underground habitat, and were used to make their way to the surface if any minotaur ever wished to leave home.
It was also what Pony used to enter the labyrinth in her attempt to get help, before she ended up stumbling into the JSDF soldiers. And now, the team was making their way down.
The first thing they saw was a bright light, followed by a bird's eye view of the entire minotaur colony. They could see rivers, fields, waterfalls, trees, freshwater beaches, and small huts, which made every single moving creature down there look like the size of ants.
Of course, there also came some questions with all this.
"Hey, Pony, if this whole place is underground, then how come there's sunlight?"
Pony looked back at Kirishima, before pointing at the ceiling. "See those crystals?"
Kirishima looked upward to see several bright white crystals covering the ceiling, with the exception of the small opening to the side, which housed the staircase they were using.
"Yeah, what about them?" the artificial redhead asked.
"You saw those same crystals at the center of the maze, surrounded by the flowers, right? Well, down here, they reflect and refract the sunlight from the center's open ceiling."
"Ohhh, so that explained why there was so much natural light coming in!"
"Exactly!" Pony nodded. "The sunlight gets absorbed and refracted through the crystals, and then shines just as bright down here, mimicking a day and night cycle for us."
"Oi! Both of you, keep it down!" Bakugou hissed. "Don't wanna be spotted!"
When the group reached the bottom, they made sure to stay both as quiet and unseen as possible. If they were gonna beat Minotaurus, they would have to do it sneakily.
Unfortunately, Pony Tsunotroi didn't get the memo.
"HEY, EVERYONE!" she shouted. "I BROUGHT HELP!"
"What the fuck is your problem?!" Bakugou hissed.
A few seconds later, out of the bushes and huts, came several minotaurs, of all kinds of varieties. Some were taller than humans, some of them looked more like Pony, while others looked more like the mythological monsters Momo recognized, and all of them came in different varieties of heights, hair color, horn shape, breeds, and of course, bust sizes.
For the very first time in her life, Momo Yaoyorozu felt insecure.
"Look who I brought!" Pony said, pointing at the soldiers.
Immediately, all of the minotaurs knew who they were.
"Arms of Fire…"
"The champion has returned!"
"All hail!"
Several of the minotaurs bowed down, while others kneeled in front of Momo and her team, which she could tell made most of her squadmates uncomfortable. Most of them.
"You know, I could get used to being worshiped…" Kaibara whispered to Tsubutaba.
"Don't even think about it, either of you," Uraraka hissed at them.
However, the noise died down when one minotaur stepped out of the group. She had curvy blonde hair, dark blue eyes, massive horns, and an amazing, human-like physique.
Yeah, that's definitely Pony's mom, Momo thought to herself.
"Champions of the Arms of Fire, thank you for answering our prayers," she said, kneeling down. "I am Kau Redi, the chieftess of the Palus Village, and Pony's mother."
"Greetings," Momo said. "I am First Lieutenant Momo Yaoyorozu of the Japanese Self-Defense Force. We are here to help. So… where exactly is this Minotaurs character?"
"He's up near the river… he arrived here a week ago, and chased us off from our fishing grounds… he must be stopped!" the minotaur chieftess said.
"What's his fighting style? Does he have any weaknesses?" Bakugou asked.
"Aside from his immense size and strength, he has around his neck a magic medallion, a white-and-green one. I've seen it fire off two types of magic, a beam of disintegration and a ray of frost. Anything caught in their path will either burn up or be frozen in ice.
"Well, that's a charming image," Tsuburaba joked to himself.
"Not only that, but he also has a sort of crystal-colored defensive magic around his arms, which will appear to block any ranged attacks with curricular-shaped shields," she added.
Turning around, Momo said, "Okay, guys, I think I might have a plan."
As it turned out, finding Minotaurus wasn't that hard to do.
It was kind of hard to miss the giant blue monster patrolling the river.
Popping her head out of the bushes, Momo took one good look at Minotaurs, and sure enough, he was just as Pony had described. The bastard was three meters tall, at least, covered in blue skin and with one massive red eye. Honestly, the whole "half-minotaur, half-cyclops" thing was kind of a mislead, since the only cow-like things he had were his curved horns and cow-like tail.
Seriously, he had no visible nose to speak of, no cow-like ears, and his feet weren't even hooves, they were just regular feet, which happened to be decked-out with sharp toenails.
"Jesus Christ, he is one ugly motherfucker," Kaibara whispered next to her.
"Agreed," Momo said. Pulling out her radio, she said, "Everyone, this is Yaoyorozu. Kaibara and I are in position. Is everyone else ready to execute Operation: Minotaur Liberation?"
"This is Kirishima. Tsuburaba and I are in position."
"This is Uraraka. Bakugou and I are in position."
"This is Melissa – er, I mean, Shield. I'm in position."
"All right," Momo said, as she smiled. "Let's rock."
Momo knew that her plan could go sideways almost immediately.
That was already assumed since her idea was to wait until Minotaurus was in the right position for Kaibara to snipe him with his assault rifle. The plan was risky. One, they weren't using a rifle designed for sniping, and two, Kaibara wasn't a sniper, that job fell to Aoyama.
So, of course Momo knew that their first strike might have failed. She knew that there was a good chance that Kaibara would miss Minotaurus' eye.
BANG!
However, neither one of them expected Minotaurus to turn around at the last second, with the bullet hitting the monster's horn instead of his eye. Momo also didn't expect Minotaurus to look towards where the bullet came from, spot the two of them, and then charge.
Unfortunately for them, all of that happened.
"ROOOOOAAARRR!"
However, Aizawa drilled into Momo that no plan ever survives first contact, so she had already come up with a few contingencies. One said contingency happened to be an angel.
"MELISSA, PLAN B!" Momo shouted into her radio.
"Understood!"
As Momo and Kaibara dodged the massive hands of Minotaurus, Kirishima and Tsuburaba popped out from the other bushes and shot the giant blue monster in the back a few times, wounding him. Momo smiled, as her theory was just proven right.
His magic isn't on all the time! He has to do it on command!
Pretty soon, however, a red magic circle appeared behind the blue giant, and two massive, crystal-like force fields showed up on his forearms. That's his defensive magic!
"HEY, UGLY!"
Minotaurus looked up to see Melissa dive-bomb him, her sword immediately going for his medallion. The blue cyclops blocked her, and the blonde angel was now responsible for keeping the giant's attention, while Momo and the others shot him from all around.
As Momo had correctly theorized, the defensive magic was only around the monster's forearms, meaning that if he wanted to defend other parts of his body, he would have to move his force field. Slowly but surely, they would chip away at his defenses.
"Great. Melissa and the others have him occupied," Momo said, as she watched Melissa dodge another ice beam from the cycolp's magic medallion. "Bakugou, your turn."
Bakugou gave her one hell of a wicked smile, and said, "My pleasure."
Quickly, he pulled out a lighter, along with several pieces of white, plastic-looking material, all of them with a piece of yellow wire in some place or another, from his pockets.
"Uhh, are we sure this is a good idea?" Kirishima asked.
"As the Mythbusters once said… When in doubt, C4," Bakugou said, before charging.
While Melissa made sure Minotaurus focused on her, Bakugou ran circles around the monster's feet, dumping pieces of lit C4 at its feet, before running like hell away from the basalt site.
"AAAAAAAAAAA–"
BOOOOOM!
SPALT!
"Are you all right, Bakugou?" Momo asked, picking him up.
"I'm gonna feel that in the morning…" he groaned. "Did we get him?"
"He's writhing in pain and… glitching in and out of existence?"
Momo and the others took a closer look, to see that Minotaurus' body was shining on and off a bunch of reddish-pink lights, like some sort of strobe light, the kind that causes epileptic seizures. In fact, the only thing that remained solid was the magic medallion itself.
"Wait a minute…" Kirishima said. "Is his entire body some kind of illusion?!"
"If that's the case… MELISSA! THE MAGIC MEDALLION! GRAB IT!" Momo shouted.
The angel dive-bombed again, avoiding the disintegration rays and the frost beams that Minotaurus was shooting out of his magical medallion, and –
SNATCH!
With the medallion gone, Minotaurus began shrinking, reddish-pink lights flashing off of him… and once they were gone, they revealed a tiny figure. They were short, slightly over a meter tall, with purple, curly hair, almost as if they were orbs, and pointed ears.
"Is that… a gnome?" Melissa asked.
The aftermath of the battle was somewhat anticlimactic.
The purple-haired gnome was chased off by the very-much angry minotaurs he had scared, with them eventually tracking the little bastard down, and stringing him up with some rope.
While that was happening, the rest of them celebrated their liberation, with Pony's mom thanking the squad herself, with Momo knowing it was time to get down to business.
"Thank you for saving our home," Kau Redi said, bowing down to Momo and the others. "You truly are the Arms of Fire! If there is ever any way we can repay you, let us know!"
"Actually, there is," Momo said. "We've come from the gate at Collibus Hills, and we need people to inhabit the town we're building there. Perhaps some of your minotaurs could…?"
Kau Redi smiled. "Say no more. I shall send my daughter and a portion of our people to the Collibus Hills right away. This shall be the beginning of a prosperous alliance!"
Momo smiled. "Great. When you make it to the front gate, tell them that First Lieutenant Momo Yaoyorozu sent you, and that you wish to speak to Lieutenant General Shouta Aizawa."
Kau Redi nodded. "Understood. Now, I believe my daughter promised you something…"
"There is. But before we go, I have to ask… what's your plan with that gnome?"
"Oh, Lieutenant, you're back!" Rin said. "Uh… what's that thing behind you?"
"A minotaur," Momo said, glancing back at Pony. "Why are you covered in blood?"
"Giant crocodile blood, actually. And, I wasn't the only one who got splattered."
"I see that we weren't the only ones who had quite the adventure…" Melissa said.
"Yeah, we were pretty occupied," Komori said. "What's that on your back?"
"A gnome," Bakugou said, as he showed off the tied-up little cretin.
"I see… well, I suppose both groups have some explaining to do?"
Thirty minutes later, Momo had finished up explaining their underground labyrinth adventure to the rest of the SREU, while Monoma explained to them why, not only were they still in the swamp, but also why there was now a giant crocodile corpse near where the LAVs were parked.
While the two team leaders were swapping stories, some of the others were also collecting samples of the area, from the crocodile corpse, to one of the maze's glowstones, to selfies with Pony. Honestly, Momo wasn't expecting such a massive haul from today.
"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that you were all occupied with that crocodile," Momo said. "I could already imagine it: Myself and the rest of the team, in high spirits after defeating such a villain, only to come back and discover that we were presumed dead and left behind."
"We should probably extend the assumption time," Monoma suggested.
The raven-haired woman nodded at that. "I agree, that is a good idea."
"But wait…" Kendo said. "If the labyrinth was tricking your eyes and ears along with your sense of direction, then how was Pony able to lead you back out afterwards?"
"I asked her that myself on the way back here," Bakugou answered. "Apparently, she could smell the swamp stank near the exit, and the flowers at the center of the maze."
"Oh, I get it!" Rin said. "Cows have a better sense of smell than either humans or dogs! They must have planted those flowers in the center of the maze to direct other minotaurs to the right path! The different smells must have acted as homing beacons for them."
"Well, that does make sense," Uraraka said. "But how did he bypass it?"
Momo looked over at the tied-up gnome Bakugou was hauling with them. The minotaurs had already beaten him up, so they were more than glad to hand him over to Momo's crew.
"Well… why don't we ask him ourselves?"
Bakugou nodded, and pulled out the gag from his mouth. "All right, listen up," Momo said. "I'm gonna ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer honestly. Am I clear?"
"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" the gnome cried, squirming around.
"We're not gonna hurt you. Now first question: How did you find the underground village?"
"It was a complete accident, I swear! I just got lost in the maze, and would have starved to death if I didn't find the center! One thing led to another, and I used my medallion to disguise myself!"
"Along with frightening an entire village of minotaurs from part of their home?"
"Like I had a choice! They would have eaten me!" the gnome shouted. "Do you know how hard it is to survive when you're as tall as I am?! I had to use every advantage I could, and even that wasn't good enough! Now I'm gonna be tortured to death by a bunch of humans…"
Momo sighed. This guy was completely pitiful. Then again, he did say that he had it rough due to his height. He was probably terrified of how massive the minotaurs were. Did he overreact? Probably. Did he deserve to be tried like some sort of criminal? Probably not.
Sighing again, Momo decided to give the little guy a way out of this, and untied him.
"Let's start over. My name is Momo Yaoyorozu. What's your name?"
"Minoru Mineta."
"Look, Mineta-san… I am going to make an err in judgment and say that you genuinely believed that your life was in danger. That being said, the way you went about defending yourself was… let's say, misguided. So, I'm going to give you a chance to redeem yourself."
The gnome looked at her, with hope in his eyes. "Redeem myself?"
"My people from the gate at Collibus Hills, creating a town around it. I want you to go there and tell them that I sent you, and that you'd like to ask Shouta Aizawa for a job. Do that, and I promise that you'll be treated as any other member of society, regardless of your race."
Standing up, the gnome said, "All right, I'll do it!"
"SKREE…"
As soon as Mineta said that, a giant leech popped out of the swamp water. But before anyone could shoot it, the purple-haired gnome jumped at its head, grabbed its antennas, and proceeded to use them as a person would use reins on a horse.
"I won't forget this kindness, Yaoyorozu-sama! I'll make you proud! HYAH!" Mineta said, as he rode the leech out of the swamp, and into the sunset, like some kind of cowboy.
"Well…" Momo deadpanned. "That happened."
"Less than a week into this mission, and I already wanna go home," Bakugou said.
Why did Momo feel like that would be a running theme for the rest of the trip?
A few minutes after processing… that… Momo and the rest of her team said their good-byes to Pony, before heading back to the LAVs, and getting the hell out of that swamp.
"Okay, where to now, Melissa?" Momo asked.
"Actually, I wanna keep it a surprise," the angel said. "But trust me… you'll love it."
Author's Note: One insane adventure down, three more to go.
Before anyone asks, this is the last time they'll be going on a month-long expedition for a while. Once this is over, the main story will officially begin, which includes a coup, rescue mission, hostage crisis, army recruitment, and the end of the world. But that's still in the far future! For now, I've got a whopper of a comment to respond to!
Hansledane: Yep, the whole gimmick of the "hidden village" was that it was hidden first, inside of a swamp, second, in the center of a labyrinth, and third, it was underground. Any all-talk wannabe adventurer would have never found it, or died trying. Next, I think that it's been established in the fanon that Kodai is a huge closet perv, something which my version of Kodai also is, if the ogre incident didn't give it away. If you need a specific reason why, just go with daddy issues. A friendly reminder to everyone: Kaibara and Tsuburaba may be the biggest idiots on the team, but they still have science degrees, making them still productive members of society! And yes, I love Monoma and Kendo as a ship, especially when I have them achieving relationship goals. The labyrinth was actually inspired by an episode of the animated series, "The Deep." Had an undersea minotaur and everything. Speaking of minotaurs, Pony is here! Her arc may be over, but I guarantee she'll be back for more! Also, that thing the gang outside was dealing with was a giant crocodile, not a lizard. Anyways, in terms of geography, while it is true that Pony's people were living close to Usagiyama's, they're actually a bit north up. Plus, given that both the rabbit incident and the cave-in were on the way back towards the base, it actually means that the SREU is still close to the Collibus Hills for the time being, and only a week into their second expedition. Welp, guess I'll talk to you again next time!
And now, for the last bit of shilling…
If you want more content, visit my Discord, the link is /3PFYSt8Dqz. You can chat with others, post memes, fanfic recommendations and prompts, role play, fan art, and we even have a writer's corner now! I'll also drop by with announcements and chat with you all every now and then! Also, if you want to add me as a friend, my username is Ernalore#8663! Just please make sure to follow the rules!
Thanks for reading, and once again, see you next time!
- Ernalore
