15. CONFESSIONS

You get dressed faster than you have ever before and right about fly into your car, driving off to the address Santana sent you. All your senses are in overdrive. You are worried, you are scared; Quinn's words still haunt you. You really, really hope this is Santana being a brat and acting out, and not getting in real trouble. You can forgive her for ignoring your texts and only calling you when she needs something, but if something, anything, was to really happen to her, you could never forgive yourself.

The address leads you to a parking lot you don't recognise. If you were to assume, Santana must live nearby but legally she can't give you her home's address so she went with the next best thing. Or maybe she just found herself there in a time of need. You don't want to dwell on that.

You find Santana standing under a lit streetlight. She's looking down at the ground, her shoulders are slumped, her arms hugging her own midriff. You don't know if it's the effect of your car lights, but you could swear she's shivering. When she hears the engine, she looks up and for a moment she doesn't move. Soon enough she's climbing into your car's passenger seat.

"Thank you." She mutters, not looking at you. You know this demeanour. You will never forget the first day you saw her. She is terrified and your tummy churns violently as you grow more worried yourself.

"Can I drive you somewhere?" You ask cautiously.

"Take me back to the cabin..." She asks with the smallest voice you've ever heard leave her lips.

"But it's the middle of the night..." You try to reason.

"Please." She says and finally looks up at you. Her eyes are wide open in fear and they look...dead. Her eyes look void of any emotion and it shatters your heart.

You simply nod and start driving. The silence consumes you as you drive. You want to ask questions, you want to know what the hell happened. You really want to know why she looks so damn terrified and you start thinking who of your lawyer friends would be the most reliable, because if this has anything to do with Santana's husband, you swear you are going to kill him.

When you dare to take a peak at Santana, you notice she's sleeping soundly and you can't help but smile. She looks so peaceful like that. You reach with one of your hands to the backseat and grab your jacket then putting it at gently as you can while you drive over Santana so she doesn't get cold.

When you arrive to your cabin, you feel exhausted yourself, but at least this is a really safe place. Santana doesn't stir when the car stops, so once you have parked, you move to her side of the car and carefully take her in your arms and carry her inside. When you lay her on your bed she finally wakes up. She looks up at you, and then around, a little confused, but you see her visibly relax when she realises where she is.

Slowly she sits up on the bed, rubbing her sleepy eyes furiously.

"Sorry..." she mutters with a sigh looking at you. A little bit of life is back into her eyes. You can't help but smile softly.

"What are you sorry for?" You ask softly as you tentatively grab one of her hands. Thankfully she doesn't flinch.

"I don't know. Making you go through all this trouble." She says with a shrug. "Oh, and for ignoring you. I couldn't communicate with you, or anyone for that matter. I've been only allowed to visit Quinn for this week." She explains and you frown confusedly, but decide not to pry. You want her to open up to you at her own pace.

You don't reply verbally, but you squeeze her hand softly, and when you release your grip, your hand naturally falls slightly to the side until only your pinkies are linked. You feel her hold on tight to it.

For a couple minutes you are both quiet. She looks lost in her own world and you are fully embracing your position as a silent companion. You are not going to force her to talk, but you won't leave her alone either.

"Nate called me." She says after a while and you feel the fury start to raise deep in your bones. "He fucking dared to use his call from custody to call me."

You don't say anything, but your whole body tenses, and Santana notices it. She locks her eyes with yours and smiles. It's a sad smile, but you'll take it.

"Don't worry, Brittany. He tried to sweet talk me into getting him out of custody and back with him. When I didn't budge he started insulting me. Nothing new, honestly. I'm used to it." She says shrugging again.

"Don't you see you shouldn't be used to it?" You ask softly, trying to control the urge you have of jumping back in your car and hunting the man down until you feed him his own balls.

"I do...but it's not like I know any better..." She sadly mutters.

"Santana, I don't get it." You state after a couple of seconds and she looks at you with a confused frown. "You are smart, brilliant actually, and fierce, sassy, you take no bullshit from anyone, you are the sexiest woman alive and there are days where you really own it, and believe me, it's really, really hot and appealing to see. I don't get why or how you let yourself into this mess." You add. Talk about bad timing and prying, but you've needed to take that out of your chest for a long, long time.

"I told Quinn about the call..." She deflects "She told my social worker, who doesn't happen to be you, hence why I have been uncommunicative for a week. I should be still, but I couldn't take it anymore." She says and moves on the bed until she stands up, letting go of your pinky. You sigh deeply.

"If I was your social worker I would be in serious legal trouble." You answer, shrugging, trying really hard not to take personally the way she just dismissed you.

She stops in her tracks, facing away from you.

"Why?" She exhales into the silence.

You decide that if she's not going to give you any straightforward answer, at least she will have to listen to what you have to say. So you get up too and slowly walk towards her until your front is almost against her back. You are not close enough to press yourself against her, it's only a graze, but you feel Santana shiver.

"Because I have feelings for you." You whisper in her ear. "Deep, strong feelings I probably shouldn't have. And I want to worship you, all of you. If I was in charge of your case, it would simply be illegal, and also pretty much immoral. Not that my moral values have mattered much since I met you..." you add, still whispering.

She turns around slowly and her dark brown eyes lock with your blue ones.

"Can't you see I have the same feelings for you?" She whispers leaning closer to you. "When you arrived to my home, I knew it was you who I had talked with on the phone. I knew before I heard you talk. I felt it. Brittany, you are the first person to make me feel safe in a really long time. You didn't say much on the phone, nothing especial, but I felt it." She confesses and you feel like melting into a puddle. If you were an emoji, right now you'd look like the one with big heart eyes.

Before you can say anything, she is kissing you so tenderly that it makes you moan softly into her mouth, not because you are turned on, but because of all the feelings you have bottled inside. Soon your brain catches up with what is happening, though, and you abruptly breaks the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Santana asks trying to kiss you again, but you turn your face so her lips land on your cheek.

"We shouldn't...we can't..." you mumble nervously. She frowns. You just told her that you have feelings for her and that it's okay because you don't have any working or legal ties, and now you are turning her down. You see where her confusion is coming from.

"Santana...I don't want you to die..." you whisper as a single tear runs down your cheek. Instinctively she brushes it away with her thumb before getting up on her tiptoes and hugging you tightly.

"As long as you are with me through this, I will be okay..." is all she whispers in your ear.