After the confessions, you make some tea, and soon Santana and you are fast asleep over your bed. You passed out before you could even get under the sheets. When you wake up it's still dark outside. At some point you lost your trousers, you don't remember taking them off, but you could have done it in your sleep. It wouldn't be the first time. You also notice Santana is curled against your side shivering from the cold.
Slowly you manouver yourself out of the bed without waking Santana up and you cover her with a couple blankets you have in the room. Then, since you are completely awake, you move to the kitchen and make some coffee. As you wait, looking blankly at nowhere in particular you can hear the soft chirping of the earliest birds, so you know the dawn is close.
You don't know what to do next. Santana has admitted she has feelings for you, you should be happy. But your last session with Quinn is still bugging you. You know she is right. Santana is in a complicated situation. She's not a regular married woman who decides to get divorced. Her situation is a tad messier. But love conqueers everything, doesn't it? That's what you'd like to believe.
Maybe Nathaniel Keating won't be a problem? Who are you trying to fool? You are absolutely sure that if the night Santana called 911 he hadn't at least threatened her life, she wouldn't have called. You know there is a lot more to it than what Santana has told you, but you have no right to pry. And even if you do, she is a stubborn woman, she won't tell you a thing unless she wants to.
As you drink your coffee in silence, enjoying the first sun rays that enter your windows, you ponder your options. The logical thing to do is drive her back home. If her social worker discovers she has been gone for a night when she's been ordered to stay home and not contacting anyone, you might get in trouble anyway. Quinn's going to be pissed. You know Santana will tell her, and she's going to yell at you today. You really don't want to risk your friendship.
But on the other hand, you really want to protect Santana. If you could, you would hide her there, in the cabin, forever. And since everyone is going to be pissed anyway, what's the harm on staying there a couple more days? You have food for days, electricity, the fireplace, and the peace and isolation Santana needs. It's not like she's going to be in danger.
You need to swim. Yes, outside. Yes, it is winter and the lake is almost frozen, but you know there is a spot where the water is warmer and the water there doesn't freeze. Your European heritage taught you that. Actually it was Google. You were looking for something related to your greatgrandparents and one thing brought you to another, until you were reading about the benefits of dipping into cold water during the winter. Apparently it's pretty common in the north of Europe and since you learnt about it, you have been doing it. It helps you to reset your brain, to stop thinking for a moment and it helps you concentrate better afterwards.
Quietly you go out by the back porch. Santana is still soundly asleep. You rememebered to grab a towel, but you didn't bother changing your clothes. You are going to do it naked. Once you are outside you realised you didn't remeber to put your pants back on, and it's fucking cold, but you don't care, you won't be out for long.
The lake looks awesome during the sunrise. The colours of the sky reflect in the water and it's magical. You wish Santana was here to show her. After a couple minute walk you find your spot and strip off your clothes. Completely naked you step into the cold water. Your whole body is covered in goosebumps, but you push through the initial shock. You stay in the water for around five minutes, letting the cold water freeze your thoughts and when you feel it's too much, you step out, wrap yourself in the towel and nearly run back to the cabin.
The warmth that welcomes you in instantly soothes you, but you frown as you notice Santana is not in the bed anymore. You find her in the kitchen, fumbling with your coffee pot. She turns around when she hears you and her left eyebrow raises slowly as she takes the image in. You are only wearing a towel around your body after all.
"Where were you?" She asks curiously.
"I went swimming." You answer wrapping the towel tighter around you because you can feel it's going to fall otherwise and it's not the moment to give Santana a show.
"Swi-what? Are you nuts?" She asks utterly confused.
"No, it's great, it boosts your inmune system, and the feeling afterwards is amazing. It's energizing." You ramble.
Santana is not convinced but she doesn't say anything else. Instead she just looks you up and down again before turning around towards the coffee pot once again.
You walk towards her. You make sure this time to be noisy enough to not catch her off guard, you don't want your nose to be broken again, and when you are sure she knows you are there, you wrap your arms around her waist from behind.
"Why are you fighting with my coffee pot?" You whisper playfully close to her ear. "I made coffee already, you don't need to do anything else."
With a fake frustrated sigh she puts her hands on top of yours and you feel her leaning against you, as well as another entirely different sigh leaves her lips.
"You should put some clothes on..." She mumbles as she presses harder into you, making you moan involuntarily.
"Why?" You ask. You are very much okay with the situation right now.
"Because if you don't, I can't promise I'll be able to control myself..." She mutters clawing your arms softly.
"Then don't." The words leave your lips before you can even think about what she said, and you instantly regret it. You are playing a dangerous game. You can't do this. You can't turn her down and then give her a free pass into your fantasies again. It's not fair. She has been played with enough.
Santana seems to be thinking the same thing because she doesn't move and you feel her body is tense against yours, but her breathing is ragged and shallow and it's driving you crazy.
Neither of you move for a moment, but you end up backing away.
"Sorry." You mumble sadly and walk back into the bedroom to get clothed.
You notice she has followed you when you are halfway into a large t-shirt and you wonder how much of your body she saw. Not that you really care, but you'd rather keep things PG for now.
She looks at you directly in the eyes as she moves closer to you.
"Please, don't push me away..." She breathes out softly as she wraps her arms around your neck and kisses you tenderly.
This time, you kiss her back.
